Chapter Fourteen: Deep Within the Misty Mountains

We all shouted as we slid down the tunnels, going sharply around turns and knocking into each other. I tried to grab onto anything, but we were flying much too quickly to truly grip onto something to slow me down. Even digging in my heels seemed to do nothing since a dwarf would just crash into me and would send me forward.

We rattled down further and further until we hit the end of the tunnel and flew out into the air before landing on top of each other. Unfortunately Bombur was the last one to land on top of the dog pile. We all groaned and looked around confused and disoriented.

We found ourselves in a wooden cage that was too tall for us to climb out of. We didn't have much time to plan any sort of escape though because an army was soon upon us. There were hideous creatures, and since we were in the mountains, I knew they had to be goblins. The army ripped open the cage and were upon us, trying to grab us.

We were all throwing punches while we tried to get our weapons out but they completely outnumbered us. Enough of them just had to grab us and they could easily lead us across bridges and through tunnels. I had a goblin on my left arm and one on my right and they were strong. They hardly seemed to react with all my kicking and yelling.

I did have one trick up my sleeve though, a classic whenever I got into this kind of trouble at the tavern. I jumped up into the air and landed on both of their feet, putting full weight on my heels. They both yowled and let me go long enough for me to grab my sword.

I swung myself around, cutting whatever got close enough to me. I think I mostly gave them small cuts, but there were certainly a few who received fatal wounds. I told myself to focus, I didn't think I was going to win this fight but I wanted to take as many out as possible. I needed to do more than scratches.

My eyes focused on one or two opponents at a time, especially the ones who were trying to take the dwarves away. My head was on a pivot and I was a lot more deliberate with my weapon, aiming for heads, necks, and hearts. This caught the attention of the other goblins and they stopped hauling the other away while I fought my ass off.

One of them came up behind me and grabbed my fighting hand, stalling me for long enough for another one of them to charge me and grab my throat, lifting me off my feet.

"Let go!" I choked, trying to rip its grip off me. My legs kicked wildly in the air, looking to connect with something or someone. "Fight me fair you disgusting bastards!"

"Wait, this one isn't a dwarf," the one that had me by the neck said. "I don't know what it is, but it ain't a dwarf."

The one who had a strong grip on my hand sneered, "Let's just get rid of it then, no use bringing it to his highness!"

"Unless he would like to use it in some other way, it looks exotic with its dark skin and thick hair."

The goblins chattered, excited by that idea. Their pale skin was almost see-through. Their hair was nothing but a couple dark strands. Feeling their filthy hands on me and their sharp nails was enough to make my entire body shudder.

In disgust, I cleared my throat and spit right in its face. It recoiled and dropped me, but the one who had a grip on my hand didn't let go. I whipped around and punched it right in its ugly face, sending it flying over the edge of the railing. It screeched as it fell down into the darkness. With my sword arm now free, I brought it down on the one that grabbed me by my neck and killed it.

The rest of the dwarves fought against the goblins in an attempt to escape, and I did hear the death of several goblins and saw more get thrown over the edges. I didn't understand why they weren't trying to kill us, they were just trying to take us somewhere…

While I was fighting I took a hit to my chest that threw me back against the railing. All it took was those few moments for me to be fully overcome by the goblins again. They seized my arms and legs and lifted me right off the ground so I couldn't keep fighting. I kept thrashing though.

"Just throw it over!" one of them shouted to the others holding me. "The king won't care about this one!"

My eyes grew.

"Yeah, yeah! Throw it over!"

I yelled, "No! No, don't!" I tried to grab onto any of them but they held onto my wrists and ankles too tightly. "Stop!"

The next thing I knew, I was thrown over the edge and was falling down into the mountain. I screamed and heard the dwarves shout and panic as I disappeared into the darkness. I felt myself fall for only a few moments before I collided with ledges on the way down to the bottom. All it took was one solid knock on the head and I was out like a light.

I could feel the pain radiate off my body before I even lifted back into consciousness. As I shifted my head I felt the sharp edges of rocks on my face and I cracked my eyes open. My sword laid out in front of me, still glowing blue.

Well, I'm not dead.

A bone chilling voice arose from the darkness, a voice much like a throaty gurgle. "Yes, yes!" Another voice seemed to also emerge. "Gollum. Gollum!"

I slowly raised my head to see past some rocks and saw one of the goblins that fell down here as well. When I looked a little harder I could see a horrifying, skeleton creature crawling into the bits of light. It grabbed a hold of the goblin's ankles and started trying to drag it away. The goblin shot upward and started attacking the skeleton, coming back to life for one last fight. It did not last long though, once the smaller creature grabbed the closest rock and bashed it against its head. I winced and ducked my head back down, hearing the impact over and over again until the blue glow of my sword went out. My stomach contracted.

My breathing shuddered as I heard the body get dragged away. I peaked back up at the creature as it talked to itself and struggled with moving the goblin. I caught the glint of something falling out of its loin cloth and hit the ground.

"Nasty goblinses. Better than old bones, precious. Better than nothing!" Its voice got quieter as it got further and further away. "Too many boneses, precious. Not enough flesh!" The other voice arose again. "Shut up! Get its skin off. Start with its head."

I waited for ages before I decided to make a move. I sat up and very quietly struggled up onto my feet. It felt like every bone in my body was bruised. I stepped along the rocks and tried not to make too much noise, but I also needed to get my bearings. If there's a living creature down here, it means there has to be a way out.

I could hear the little creature sing while it did as it wished with the goblin. "The cold hard lands, they bites our hands, they gnaws our feet. The rocks and stones, they're like old bones, all bare of meat. Cold as death, they have no breath, it's good to eat."

I came across the underground lake but quickly dodged out of the way when I saw the thing rowing across in a small boat. My grip tightened on my sword and tried to keep my head together. I looked down at my feet for a moment, to make sure they were on something stable, but caught the glimpse of something gold. I squinted and bent down to pick the trinket up. It was a simple, golden ring without any gems or special inscription. I didn't think much of it, so I tucked it into my pocket and went back on guard.

I moved closer to the lake, trying to find where the creature had gone off to. I didn't know what my next move was going to be, it wasn't like I could just ask it for directions. I think it would rather suck on my bones than point me in the exit.

The fleshy creature dropped down in front of me and I leapt backward, nearly falling and cracking my head open.

"Bless us and splash us, Precious! That's a meaty mouthful!" I brought up my sword and pointed it at its throat, it retracted a few steps. "Gollum. Gollum."

"I'm going to need you to back the hell up. You will not be putting a single finger on me or else you will feel my blade."

"It's got an elvish blade, but its not an elfs. Not an elfs, no." It looked at me perplexed. "What is it, precious? What is it?"

"Lydia Barclay."

"Barclayses? What is a Barclayses, precious?"

"I'm a hobbit, from Bree?"

"Oh! We like goblinses, batses and fishes, but we haven't tried hobbitses before. Is it soft? Is it juicy? It looks like it would be."

"Remember what I said, Creature! Back. Up." It snarled and shook its head in frustration. "I don't want any trouble with you, do you understand? Just show me the way to get out of this place, and I'll be on my way!"

"Oh? Is the hobbitses lost?"

"Yes, so I'm sure you can imagine I would like to return as soon as possible. I've really had a horrible day, so I would appreciate the help."

It stared up at me with its bright, ice blue eyes. "Oh! We knows! We knows safe paths for hobbitses. Safe paths in the dark." Its expression darkened and it spat, "Shut up!" The other voice from before was in fact the same creature. I guess that's a relief.

"I…didn't say anything."

"Weren't talking to you. Yes you were! Precious, we were!"

"What kind of twisted game-"

"Games? We love games, doesn't we, precious?" It looked to me. "Does it like games? Does it? Does it? Does it like to play?"

"I really don't have any time for games."

It ignored me and recited, "What has roots as nobody sees, is taller than trees. Up, up, up it goes, and yet never grows."

I took a moment to consider the question. I was sure I had heard that riddle before. "The mountain."

It jumped around excitedly and laughed, "Yes, yes! Oh, let's have another one. Come on, do it again, do it again! Ask us." It stopped in its tracks and lowered its head. "No! No more riddles! Finish her off! Finish her now! Gollum! Gollum!"

I need to buy myself some time and keep it from killing me.

"Why would we stop now? I want to play! You seem very good at this so, why don't we make this a little more interesting. Let's have a game of riddles? Yes? Just you and me."

It scuttled forward, excited. "Just us?"

"Of course, just the two of us. And if I win, you show me the way out."

Its face sifted again and growled. "And if it loses? What then? If it loses, Precious, then we eats it. If Barclayses loses, we eats it whole."

I hesitated, wondering if my journey was going to end inside the Misty Mountain at the hands of this skinny, insane monster. But, from gathering my stories I was confident I had heard every damn riddle under the sun. I sheathed my sword and nodded my head. "We have a deal, Love. If I lose, I stay. If I win, I leave."

The creature, as I learned its name was Smeagol, went back and forth quizzing each other on riddles. I think I must have underestimated the creature, but it solved my riddles very quickly and it certainly asked some I had never heard before. I didn't like my chances as we got further and further into it, because the longer we went the more frustrated and upset it got that I wasn't losing. We needed to wrap this up or else I was never going to get out of the mountain.

Smeagol said, "We have one for you. All things it devours, birds, beasts, trees and flowers. Gnaws iron, bites steel, grinds hards stone to meal."

I sat on one of the rocks, thrumming my fingers and trying to think. I furrowed my eyebrows, knowing I had to have heard this one before. I closed my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose, trying to remember.

"Answer us!"
"I gave you plenty of time to think of your answers, let me have a few moments!" I shook my head and whispered under my breath, "I don't know this one."

Smeagol crept closer to me with a wide, evil grin on its face. "Is it tasty? Is it scrumptious? Is it crunchable?"

I leapt up onto my feet and whipped my sword out. "Back off! Let me think, you little cheater! Just let me think…"

"It's stuck. Barclayses is stuck." I paced back and forth, trying to think but I could feel the fear creeping up my neck. "Time's up."

A grin spread across my face and I turned to face it. "Time. The answer is time."

Smeagol howled in frustration, pulling at its thin strands of hair. It gritted his teeth and said, "Last question. Last chance." I took a deep breath and tried to think of one final riddle. "Ask us. Ask us now! Now!"

"I will, just give me a moment to think of a good one to finish on." I took my free hand and tucked it in my pocket while I tried to think. I felt something against my fingers and I looked down, confused. "What's in my pocket?"

"No! Not fair! Not fair Barclayses!" it shouted. "That-That's against the rules! Ask us another one!"

Realizing what I had done entirely by accident, I took it and ran with it. "No, no! You said to ask you a question and I did. What do I have in my left pocket?"

"Three guesses, precious. It must give us three!"

"That's fair, you have three guesses then."

"Handes!" I yanked out my hand just in time and demonstrated both of them. It mumbled to itself angrily. "A knife! Oh shut up!"

"Incorrect again, you've got one guess left."

"String! No, nothing!"

"No to both, though that's four guesses and not three." Smeagol yowled as if it was in pain and fell to the floor in defeat. "Come on then, I won the game. Don't be sore about it. You promised to show me the way out."

"Did we say so, precious? Did we say so?" It slowly got up onto its feet and turned to look at me. "What has it got in its pocketses?"

"It doesn't matter. You lost and you owe me a way out of here."

Its face turned up into a menacing smile again as it reached something on its side. My hand twitched as it held my sword, I had a feeling I was going to need it. Its expression changed though, looking almost shocked.

"Where is it? No! No! No!" Smeagol ran around the cave, scattering bones and rocks as he searched. "Lost! Curses and splashes, my precious is lost!"

"What have you lost?" I asked, getting a sinking feeling in my stomach. I took the ring out of my pocket and hid it behind my back.

"Mustn't ask us! Not its business! Gollum, gollum!" It leaned over the lake and fell into the most horrible sounding sobs I had ever heard. Slowly, the sadness changed into a heavy anger that shook its voice. "What has it got in its nasty, little pocketses?"

It turned around and leapt towards me. I held up my sword and almost tripped over a rock. I felt like I was waiting for a wild animal to attack me.

"She stole it! She stole it!" Smeagol picked up a rock and chucked it at me. "She stole it!"

I dodged out of the way then ran for my life away from the creature. I leapt between large rocks and took sharp turns to try and shake it off my trail. That means that I went deeper and deeper into the caves with absolutely no idea of where I was going or where I was. I wasn't the least bit surprised when I found skeletons scattered in the caves, knowing they either got lost and died or were killed by that creature Smeagol. With it still screaming after me and trying to hunt me down, I wasn't sure if I was going to be joining the skeletons or not.

I pressed myself up against the wall and I saw Smeagol run past the opening of the alcove I was hiding in. I looked around for another way out so I didn't need to go out into the open, but all there was, was a crack in the wall that I was certain I was not small enough to fit through. It might have been my only option though.

I tried to shimmy into the crack and nearly made it through but the squeeze was just a little too tight. I tried to suck everything in and also constrict at the same time but it felt like I was only getting myself more stuck.

I looked up in horror when I heard a low growl, and Smeagol was staring right at me. I panicked and pushed myself even harder as it charged at me.

"It's ours! It's ours!"

Right before it was able to grab me, I gave one more big push and fell onto the other side. I landed on my back and the golden ring went flying into the air. I reached up and attempted to catch it, but it seemed to dance along my fingers before lowering down onto my middle finger. As soon as it did, the entire world changed around me.

Smeagol jumped through the gap in the wall, moving slowly and in a muted blur. The entire world moved like liquid around me and…it ran right past me even though I laid helpless on the ground next to it.

"Thief! Barlcayses!"

As Smeagol ran off, I got back up in bewilderment. I quickly followed after it knowing that it might be going towards the exit to see if I escaped. Even if it wasn't, I would have a better chance following something that knew it's way around than me wandering around aimlessly. I kept the ring on my finger and followed after Smeagol.

I was grateful it didn't take very long for the exit to be found. I could see the daylight spilling into the cave walls. I felt my way along the narrow channels, keeping my distance from Smeagol as it frantically searched and yelled for me.

I couldn't even describe my relief when I saw all of the company run by, going through the final tunnel to get out of the mountain. I felt it wash all over my body and I nearly cried again, knowing I hadn't lost them for forever.

All that stood in my way was Smeagol.

It crawled back into the main cave and softly sobbed, looking for any sign of life. I came up behind it, my sword drawn and holding it so close to its neck that I was surprised it couldn't feel the coolness coming off the blade. I hesitated though, it didn't feel right to strike down something when it couldn't see me and didn't have anything to defend itself. And what hurt was it doing, eating from the goblins that fell down. I don't think the world would be that different if Smeagol wasn't in it, it wasn't worth the blood on my hands.

I sighed and shook my head, putting my sword away. I just backed up a bit and leapt right over Smeagol, landing quietly on the other side, undetected. Before leaving I considered leaving the ring behind, but knew it was going to be too useful of a tool for me to give back. I knew it meant a lot to the cave creature, but I had dragons to steal from. I couldn't just let it have it back.

So, I turned my back to Smeagol and ran out of the cave, trying to catch up with the others before they got too far.