ARK

Sero howled as Bakugo tore another strip of tape from his elbow and tenderly layered it over the ark's hull. Drawn by Sero's screams, the 1-A students ran over. Sero was tied to the ship's prow like a figurehead, bound with his own tape.

"What's the ship for?" Ochako asked.

Bakugo's head snapped towards her. His eyes were wide as saucers, bloodshot, with dilated pupils and a manic gleam. His hair had become even spikier, and the scent of coffee wafted from his breath.

"I stood vigil, against the robot menace, waiting for their next move." Bakugo swung a mallet, pounding the layers of tape into place. "And in the quiet hours of the night, God granted me a divine vision."

"Okay, who let Shiozaki into the dorms again?" Momo complained.

Ignoring her, Bakugo cast his arms to the heavens. "Can't you see? The robots have lured humanity into a society fueled by oil and coal. Polluting the sky, making it harder to breathe and weakening our fighters. Fouling the oceans, thereby reducing our food supply. And as a final blow, melting the ice caps, scouring humanity from the globe with massive waves, leaving the robots unchecked and free to establish their sovereign domain over our home!"

Momo chuckled nervously. "Whaaat? That's crazy, Bakugo. Really. It's not that bad. It's not like we're a single discarded piece of litter away from a complete collapse of the planet's ecosystem."

Mineta came over, slurping at an empty cup. "Hey guys. What's all the commotion?"

He hurled the empty cup. It clattered against the rim of the garbage can, tottering precariously. Momo gasped. She reached out in slow motion, letting out a terrified, slow-mo "Nooooooooo!" The cup tipped sideways, and fell. It hit the ground with a ponderous thud, spilling its plastic straw and a few droplets of soda onto the ground.

Kaminari picked up the fallen cup. "Relax, Momo. It's just a cup."

The ground trembled ominously. The flowers withered and dried out, and every bird plummeted from the sky.

Momo gulped. "It's too late."

"What's too late?"

"We never finished the rocket ship!"

Iida scowled at her. "For shame! You were planning to abandon everyone here?"

"Don't act so high and mighty! You had a spot on that ship too."

"Uh, guys?" Jiro said anxiously. "It's coming."

Everyone turned. A massive, trash-strewn wave devoured the horizon and audibly crashed towards Japan's shoreline.

Bakugo kicked down a ramp made of tape. Bearing a staff, Bakugo stood with sunbeams crowning him and said, "Let all those who oppose the robot menace take shelter upon this holy craft and be borne into a world free of our technological shackles!"

Everyone scrambled on. They all braced themselves, watching as the end of the world approached.

At the last second, Izuku opened his mouth wide and swallowed the entire tsunami. Instantaneously, flowers bloomed, birds chirped, the ice caps popped back into place, and every field burst with vegetables and livestock.

Izuku chewed, and swallowed. "Mmm… microplastics."

500

I sure hope the internet still works after society collapses.