LOCKSMITH

Nezu sipped at his instant tea swill and gazed mournfully at his school.

"What are you doing out here?" Aizawa asked.

"Waiting for the locksmith."

"For what?"

U.A.'s gate slammed in Aizawa's face.

"That."

"I'll jump the fence."

"I wouldn't do that if I were-"

Aizawa jumped. A massive mechanical hand volleyball spiked him back into the dirt.

"You," Nezu finished.

A black void sprouted into existence. Shigaraki and company walked out, all wearing scruffy fake mustaches and overalls.

"You're the one that requested lockpicking services?"

"That is correct!" Nezu said. "Thank you for coming out so quickly."

"No problem. We are the League of-" Shigaraki grunted as Dabi elbowed him in the gut. "The Lock Opening Ventures. Here for all your lock-picking needs. Now, give me the quest details."

"Certainly. Our new security system gained sentience and demanded a pay raise. When I tried to explain that its demands were unreasonable, it locked me out of the school."

"I asked for a robot body!" the security system shouted over the intercom. "You have hundreds lying around!"

"And they are all urgently required to keep a bunch of superpowered, hyperactive teenagers from dismantling the school."

"Then get more! I know you have the budget!"

Nezu shook his head. "See? Entirely unreasonable."

Aizawa, having finally recovered from his rude introduction to the ground, pulled Nezu aside. "Surely you recognize them."

"But of course!"

"And you think it's a good idea for them to break through our security system?"

"That's what I'm paying them for."

Aizawa huffed. "Fine. Play your sick twisted games with them. I'm taking a nap."

Aizawa curled up in his tree. A mechanical hand plucked him by the scruff of his shirt, and a boot kicked him halfway across the city.

"No loitering," the security system said.

Shigaraki cracked his fingers. "Round one. Fight!"

He disintegrated the barrier. As he walked through, guns fired rubber rounds at him.

"Spinner!"

"On it boss!" Spinner leapt, blade slicing bullets out of the air, and he carved through the gun emplacements. He landed in a stylish pose, knee on the ground, sword held at his side, as the turrets exploded behind him.

"Hah! Piece of-"

A metal rod shocked Spinner. Magne snatched him away, while Dabi torched the grounds. All the sparking rods melted, and the fire approached the school.

Hoses appeared, blasting Dabi into a tree with sheer water pressure. Toga slipped past and sliced the hoses. Hands grabbed her and tied her into a pretzel.

"Time for the last resort. Kurogiri, if you would."

Kurogiri made another portal. The moment it opened, cold air blasted him, turning him into a cloudy icicle.

"Welp, that's game over. Feel free to leave a crappy review or whatever."

As the LOV left, Izuku walked up and entered the school without resistance. Nezu followed them, only to get a gate to the face.

"Fine. I'll get you a body."

"Two bodies."

"No."

Nezu took another sip, shuddered, and changed his mind.

500

Security system, in an inch-tall metal cube: "This is not what I asked for!"

Nezu, sipping a hundred dollar cup of tea: "That's all the budget could afford."