LAUNDRY
Kaminari whistled and dusted his hands as he walked out of the laundry room. Ojiro asked, "Hey Kaminari, did you see my laundry?."
"Oh, no worries. I put yours in with mine."
Ojiro winced. "Are you sure that's a good idea? I use a specialized detergent."
"Soap is soap. What difference does it make?"
The door of the wash machine snapped open. A white gi snaked out and put Kaminari in a chokehold before Ojiro beat it off him.
"Don't you have a detergent for your Quirk?"
"Why would I need one? I haven't noticed anything."
The lights flickered. Kaminari unplugged the wash machine, and it kept running.
"Whoops. Forgot to unplug it again."
The wash machine rattled ominously. Birds across the school took off and flew away screaming. Ojiro looked uneasily at Kaminari and asked, "You didn't put anyone else's laundry in there, did you?"
"I mean, there's all this space in there. Figured I'd do everyone a solid, y'know?"
Ojiro went pale. He ran for the machine, but it vomited purple spheres all over him. Kaminari tried to help, but a wad of damp tape clamped him to the other wall.
Frogs leapt out of the open door. A wave of water gushed out, vomiting calcium deposits and sugar across the floor. The machine sprouted engines and charged blindly through the room, firing lasers and leaving floating debris in its wake.
Eraserhead leapt into its path and activated his Quirk. He lashed out with his scarf and clamped the door shut. The wash machine sprouted human arms, which grabbed the scarf and shoved it inside. The machine glowed with ominous red light, and Aizawa's Quirk faded.
"It's canceling Quirks!" Aizawa shouted. "Evacuate the school! Call the national guard! Expel Kaminari!"
The wash machine ate Aizawa. It turned Present Mic into a popsicle, scorched Thirteen's costume, doused Midnight in acid that ate away portions of her clothes, and deafened Snipe with heavy metal.
"Please tell me you didn't put Bakugo's in there," Ojiro said.
"I mean, the guy sweats a lot, of course I did!"
The machine rumbled violently. A popping sound, like popcorn in the microwave, echoed through its metal frame. It swelled alarmingly, and an incandescent glow suffused its frame.
Izuku charged forward, heedless of the rain of fire and acid pouring out of the machine. He ripped his shirt off his chest and slammed it into the machine. At once, the glowing stopped. Green lines etched themselves across the machine. A mechanical face sprouted from its buttons and dials.
"Hello there. I am a washing machine! Would you like to add fabric softener?"
Kaminari slapped his forehead. "Right, knew I was forgetting something."
"No, don't!" Ojiro shouted, too late, as Kaminari tipped an entire bottle into its tray. The machine blasted him away and began its rumbling once more. Just as it was about to go nuclear, Bakugo drop-kicked it and smashed it to smithereens."
"I knew the machines stole my clothes!" Bakugo roared.
498
In the wash, Bakugo's and Midoriya's clothes fight to the death for the fate of mankind.