"Have you heard anything from Alice?" Sirius eyed Lily across the table with an air of childlike anticipation.

She groaned in defeat. "Sirius this is meant to be our honeymoon! We were meant to get two days, that's it, two days! We haven't even got one!"

Waving a hand airily, Sirius dismissed her, "It's fine. Prongs is boring on his own. I'm just here to break up the monotony. Now, Alice?" he stared at her expectantly.

"Oh my God," Lily muttered exasperatedly, turning to her husband," You deal with this."

"Is that a no?" he called after her as she stormed up the stairs.

"Pads," James sighed, dragging his eyes from his wife's retreating back. "Boundaries. Remember those?"

"I didn't come last night!" he protested.

James stared at him in disbelief enunciating clearly, "Pads. Fuck off. You can interrogate me to your hearts content in two days' time. But until then…seriously. Go cockblock someone else!"

With a huff, Sirius stood, "Fine, I know when I'm not wanted."

"That would be a first," Lily called from upstairs.

"Ah, Mr Snape." Saul looked over the man. He looked wretched. Unkempt, greasy-haired and scowling. He also looked exhausted and slightly haunted.

Severus glanced around the room warily, "Am I being arrested?" he checked lightly, his hand twitching as he fought the urge to reach for his wand.

"What have you done you need to be arrested for?" Alastor growled.

"Uncle Alastor!" Hermione hissed, the honorific slipping out.

He blinked back at her for a moment, a slight quirk of his lips showing his pleasure at the title. Severus stared, his mind racing as he realised that none of their intelligence gathering had mentioned a niece. They'd missed something, something that might give them leverage over the man and that meant, if He ever found out, he was not going to be pleased.

"Sit down." Saul commanded.

He complied warily, his eyes darting nervously, planning an escape route. "Why am I here? My summons was unclear. I only heeded it because of the official seal."

"We're going to offer you a chance." Saul began, watching him closely for a reaction. "Make no mistake my boy, this is a one time only deal."

"What?" Severus stared back in confusion. Of all the things he'd been expecting to hear, that hadn't even made the list.

"Do you agree with your new master's methods?" Hermione queried curiously, staring at the young version of her potions professor with a fascination that made Severus uncomfortable.

"I have no idea what youre talking about," he hissed, trying not to fidget under her scrutiny.

"Ah," she nodded, continuing conversationally, "So if we were to restrain you, something that Uncle Alastor is absolutely allowed to do if he suspects you of being a Death Water, ridiculous name, don't you think?" he stared at her incredulously, "Anyway, if we were to restrain you, and if we were to remove that sleeve, left arm isn't it? Well…are you truly expecting us to believe he'd find nothing there? I mean it's a bit of a stupid idea if you think about it. Give your flunkies an easily identifiable ugly tattoo. Seems rather short-sighted."

Saul gave a bark of laughter as Alastor and Severus just gaped at her, "I knew I was going to like you!" He swivelled to look at Severus, "She's not wrong you know. So. Once in a lifetime chance to make up for that ill-advised tattoo, you're pretending you don't have, are you in or out?"

"Who are you?" Severus swerved. "The summons didn't give a name."

"Ah how rude," Saul bowed his head sarcastically, "Saul Croaker, Director of the Department of Mysteries. I assume you know Head Auror Moody, however I imagine you don't know the delightful Miss Longbottom. She's rather new and altogether rather exciting, if i'm honest."

Severus' eyebrow shot up at her name. "I don't think I understand whats going on." he admitted, looking like it pained him.

"Old Lord-I-have-delusions-of-grandeur's philosophies, do you agree?" Saul pushed.

"No!" he blurted and then immediately looked terrified.

"Told you," Hermione muttered sotto voice.

"And how would you know?" he sneered, trying to hide his fear.

"Accept the vow and I'll tell you." she shot back.

"What vow?"

"The one I'm about to bind you with," Saul smiled cheerfully.

"What! No!"

"One time only deal," Saul sang, looking at him pointedly, "What's it going to be?"

"You haven't even explained what the deal is!" Severus retorted frantically.

"Haven't I?" Saul frowned. "Are you sure?"

"Yes!"

"How remiss of me. We will give you information and some level of protection and in return you'll help us remove the half mad dictator who branded you."

"Are you insane?" Severus hissed shrilly, naked fear clear on his face. "He'll murder me slowly!"

"He'll murder you either way to be honest." Hermione shrugged with a surety that startled him. "Take the deal Snape. At least this way you'll have allies."

"You, you mean? I've never met you!"

"I know," She smiled faintly, "But I know you. I know you rather well if i'm honest. And I can't say I like you but I do know that when push comes to shove you make the right choices."

"Are you a Seer?" he demanded.

"We'll go with something like that," she shrugged, fighting not to screw her face up at the very thought.

"Right. How do I know this isn't just an excuse to throw me in Azkaban?"

"If we wanted you there lad, you'd already be on your way." Alastor growled. "The lass is right. Take the deal."

"How do I know you can remove him?" he swerved.

"What do you know of horcruxes?" Hermione checked almost idly.

"H-horcruxes?" he stammered. "What the fuck!"

"He has ah…five i think currently."

"No." Severus went completely white. "No! He can't have! It makes him unkillable!"

"Don't be ridiculous!"

"I'm not being ridiculous!" he shouted, his voice shrill as he jumped to his feet, his breathing coming in harsh, frightened pants. In any other circumstances, his complete unravelling would have been amusing, as it was he looked close to bolting.

"You are and if you do not calm the fuck down I will stun and obliviate you, am I clear?"

His eyes zeroed in on her face, seeing the clear threat on it before he slumped back into his seat, his face ashen and his eyes still slightly wild. With an air of forced calm, his shaking voice betraying how hard he was fighting not to give into his hysteria, he asked slightly piteously, "Why are you telling me this?"

"We told you why. Take the deal."

"You know how to destroy a horcrux?" he checked.

"I do." she replied when neither Saul nor Alastor spoke.

"You? You expect me to believe that?"

"Believe what you like," Hermione replied sharply. "You are not our only option. But out of curiosity, do you truly believe he'll spare Lily because you ask? That she'll ever forgive you if she lives and her husband dies?"

Severus turned even paler, staring at her, disbelief plastered all over his face. "He said…."

"He lies," Hermione hissed harshly.

"If I take the deal will you protect Lily?"

"Yes." Hermione replied without hesitation.

"Fine." he slumped. "I'll take the deal."

"Jolly good," Saul clapped his hands, "Be a dear and bind us Hermione."

"WIthout a wand?" she checked, "I'm passable with wandless magic but an unbreakable vow might be pushing it."

"Nonsense, believe you can and you will."

"Pardon?"

"You have the ability, all you need is to believe," he gestured at her to stand, "Now. Bind us please."

She stared at him incredulously, "You cannot be serious."

"Deadly. People do like to complicate wandless magic. Magic is in us. The wand is a focus. If you can already do wandless magic, you do not need the focus, you just believe you do. So…."

"Oh my dear god," she muttered, "If this fails it's on you."

"Actually, kid, it's on you," Saul corrected cheerfully, smirking at Hermione's murderous look.

He beckoned her over to stand in front of him, gripping Severus' arm. "Do you Severus Snape promise to keep the secrets that are shared in regards to Hermione Lonbottoms past unless we tell you otherwise?" Hermione murmured, almost startling at the golden rope that appeared on their wrists. Saul smiled smugly.

"I will."

"And if you feel you cannot work with us, will you promise to not work against us?"

"I will."

"Splendid. Now. Meet Hermione, she's not going to be born for another two months."

Severus' jaw dropped, "You cannot be serious."

"Unfortunately he is." she muttered, "You were my Potions professor. You hated it. You turned originally in early 1980 and spent the entirety of your life as a spy before he murdered you."

"I got caught?"

"No. He believed you were loyal until the end, unfortunately he also thought you were standing in the way of him owning something."

"So he killed me."

"Yes. He brings the fight to Hogwarts. Students were massacred, but we won. It was…the cost was astronomical."

"I see," he murmured, his face utterly blank. "And you think you can stop him?"

"I know I can. I spent a year hunting horcruxes. I don't know where all of them are exactly, although I have educated guesses for most of them."

"When do we start?"

"Two weeks." Saul answered, "I must admit you're remarkably calm."

"I'm not convinced this isn't a vivid dream," he muttered. "Or perhaps a potioniong. I fully expect to wake up and laugh at the absurdity of my own imagination."

"Dream of me often, lad?" Alastor checked at the same time Saul replied with an insincere, "Sadly not."

"How did you get here?" Severus asked Hermione curiously, keeping his eyes pointedly averted from Alastor, the faint hint of pink on his cheeks screaming his discomfort.

"A ritual gone wrong, " Hermione dismissed, trying not to laugh, knowing from past experience that he would not take that well. "Don't ask. It makes me angry and I'm liable to commit murder."

"I said you could maim the lad, not murder him." Alastor chided.

"Fine. I'm likely to maim someone," she corrected.

"Who?" Severus frowned.

"Sirius black. I assume I'd have your full support?"

He snorted, even as his face darkened. "I'd personally suggest some hexes," he muttered ominously.

"I'm sure you would. Which is a shame really, because we're about to ask you to attempt civility with him."

"What?"

"You heard me."

"I was wrong, this isn't a dream, it's a nightmare."

Hermione stared at him incredulously, "Who knew you were such a drama queen?"

His glower was her only answer. For some reason, the familiar expression on his face was comforting.

"Oi Potters! Open up!"

Lily groaned, "For the love of magic, someone needs to get that wizard a hobby!"

James snorted, dropping a consoling kiss onto the crown of her head. "Technically we said two days."

"Which makes seven o'clock on the third day an acceptable time to appear at our house?" she asked archly, "I swear to Merlin James if this is what our marriage is going to be like I'm going to consider a divorce!"

"You like Sirius!" he protested.

"Yes, but I didn't bloody marry him did i! I wasn't aware you were a two for one deal!"

"To be fair…" he muttered, yelping when she sent a stinging jinx his way.

"Deal with him!"

"I mean if you just give him some answers…."

"I don't have any answers!" Lily retorted.

"So tell him that and he'll go away."

"No he wont!" she groaned as Sirius' shouting got louder. "For fucks sake let him in before he has the entire neighbourhood at the door!"

"Righto," James agreed, heading for the floo.

"What took you so long!" Sirius demanded as he stepped through, having shoved Remus in first.

"Pads." James groaned as Remus tried to blend into the furniture, clearly uncomfortable.

"I tried to tell him," he muttered.

"I know," James sighed. "Right, what do you want?"

"You know what I want!" Sirius protested, "I want to know if your wife has heard from Alice. She's is refusing my floo calls."

"Frank told him to piss off," Remus muttered. "Said he was being a nuscice."

"Ah but he did let slip that the birds his cousin."

"He did?" James' eyebrows rose. "But they didn't recognise her."

"I know," Sirius agreed, "There's a story there. Anyway, your wife. Alice.

"No." Lily replied shortly, still looking annoyed, her arms crossed tightly over her chest "I was on my poor excuse for a honeymoon that you interrupted."

Sirius frowned, "Grumpy this morning aren't you?"

"And this is where we leave." Remus interjected, seeing Lily going for her wand.

"Oh no, don't leave on my account." Lily replied so clearly insincerely that Remus winced.

"Right, come on Pads. We'll see them next week at the order meeting, give them some peace."

Sirius pouted but allowed himself to be manhandled into the floo, coming out at the leaky cauldron. "Let's go and get breakfast," he decided. "Maybe we'll hear some murmurings of a new Longbottom cousin."

"Or maybe," a voice behind them made them jump, "You'll leave my niece alone."

"Your niece?" Sirius squeaked, coming face to face with Alastor Moody.

"Aye, lad. My niece. And she doesn't need the likes of you bothering her."

"Right but…come on Auror Moody," he batted his eyelashes exaggeratedly dragging Remus beside him, "Look at his adorable face! And he's mopey, Auror Moody, mopey! And your niece is apparently his soulmate."

"Aye, and she kens it fine. Doesnt change the fact that the lass is busy. Thanks to your stunt she's inherited an entire family she had no idea about. She's getting to know them before she decides what she's doing about this." he waved a hand over Remus who tried hard not to feel offended. "Although between you and me Black, the witch has a vicious streak and while I said she couldn't Avada you, that leaves her rather a lot of room for manoeuvre." Sirius paled dramatically.

"Well…hold on a minute, why am I getting the blame!"

"Alice says you were the one who gave the words," Moody smirked. "Maybe spend less time speculating and more time practising your shield charms, hmmm?"

He left Sirius spluttering, missing Remus' quiet, "That doesn't make sense, she knew who we were."

Two days after thoroughly upending Severus Snape's worldview, Alastor stalked into the Aurory, spotting the wizards he had been looking for. "Oi! Prewetts!"

Gideon and Fabian turned abruptly at their boss's call. "Yes Boss?"

Moody shifted looking uncomfortable, "I need a favour."

Their eyebrows rose in sync. "You need a favour?" Gideon checked.

"Aye. My niece has recently been reunited with her father and his family, she's been …elsewhere. I've trained the witch, obviously, but she needs other partners to practise with. The little witch knows too many of my tricks."

"I..I see." Fabian mused thoughtfully.

"Good so you'll do it?"

"She's getting ah…involved?" he checked.

Alastors eyes narrowed, "Do not repeat this," he growled, "But it's likely. Little witch has no idea how to keep her nose out of things she has no business being involved in. We've not mentioned it to Albus yet. That'll come in a week or two when Croaker clears it."

"Croaker? As in Director of the DOM, Croaker?"

"Aye, she's just started an apprenticeship with him."

"My gods," Gideon muttered, "And she wants to do this?"

"Be better? Aye funnily enough she does. Best way to stop the lass dying after all."

Gideon flushed at the pointed tone. "Alright," he murmured. "We can do that."

"Good. I'll bring her in tomorrow."

"Tomorrow?" he echoed.

"Aye, best get a move on with it."

"Right." he muttered, wondering what the hell had just happened as Alastor turned sharply and walked away.

The twins arrived the next morning to see their boss standing with an impossibly small witch with more than her fair share of hair wearing a set of pink traditional witches' robes. "You are not what we were expecting," Fabian blurted, making Hermione smirk and Alastor growl.

"Hermione Longbottom," she held out her hand.

They blinked for a moment, "As in related to Frank Longbottom?"

"He's my cousin," she murmured, "Now. I was told I was going to be allowed to let off some steam, so shall we?"

Fabian smirked, "Eager to get your arse kicked, Princess?"

She smiled sweetly in response, "Eager to hand you yours."

"Oh, Gid! The Princess thinks she's a fighter."

"This is going to end badly, isn't it?" Gideon sighed, eyeing Alastor.

A slow, vicious grin spread over his face. "I wouldnt like to say," he murmured.

"Fab you're up first!" he called, gesturing to the training room.

Fabian stared up at the grinning witch as he came to, releasing that she'd gotten the better of him. At the side, Alastor and Gideon were both laughing at his clear confusion.

"Fifteen minutes, Prewett," Alastor smirked.

He groaned in defeat, his head thunking back onto the floor. "Apparently you're rather more vicious than I appreciated Princess," he groaned.

"And you're far less skilled," she shot back.

"Ouch!"

"Let him up, lass, let's see if his twin fares any better."

"Fine," Hermione pouted, waving her hand.

"Be gentle?" Gid begged, fluttering his eyelashes.

"Ah…no."

"Worth a try." he shrugged with a good-natured smile as Alastor counted them down.

The duel was brutal and dirty, neither party wanting to concede, only ending when they both faced each other with their wands shoved under the other's chin. "Time!" Alastor called, sounding more than a little amused.

"Well done," Gideon wheezed, his breath coming in harsh pants.

"You do," Hermione agreed, one arm wrapped around her stomach not sounding any better.

Fabian stared at them both. "Utterly vicious," he muttered, "Now who wants to be healed first."

They both eyed him balefully as they all but collapsed into the waiting seats. "Don't care," Hermione muttered, trying to regain control of her breathing, adrenaline fighting with exhaustion.

"I'll do the lass," Alastor sighed, "You patch up your clone." whispering a quiet, "Augusta is going to flay me alive," as he took in the state of Hermione's hair and robes.