A/N: Warning: Mental and Physical abuse mentioned in this chapter. I do not own OUAT or the characters, but the story is my own. - BS

'Cause trying not to love you, only goes so far
Trying not to need you, is tearing me apart
Can't see the silver lining, from down here on the floor

Chapter 3- Really?

Killian walked back slowly to Granny's. He couldn't believe it, Emma was home. All kinds of emotions started hitting him; happiness, confusion, anger. He wanted to know more about what had been happening with her and Walsh. He got the gist of the story from Ruby, but she never divulges too much information. That left another question; Would Emma go back to Walsh? GO back to Boston again after everything he had done to her? Would He stay with Milah or would he try to win Emma back? Did he even deserve to have her back?

His thoughts were reeling as he opened the door to Granny's. The lunch rush had pretty much dissipated at his point, a few patrons remaining and of course Granny and Ruby.

"Killian! I have your burger down here!' Ruby called to him. "I figured you would need some food after your morning run."

"Ha. Ha." Killian rolled his eyes. "You're so funny sis."

Ruby gave him a brilliant smile and went back to working.

Granny was standing at the end of the bar, leaning against it as Killian approached her. "She's a little funny. Now what's the occasion? It isn't every day I get to see my grandson on his own free will."

"Good afternoon Granny." Killian leaned down and kissed his grandmother on the cheek. "I just had the urge for your delicious food."

Granny raised her eyebrow at Killian, "Uh-huh, sure. Sit down and eat. Then you can tell me what happened."

"Yes ma'am."

Killian sat down at the bar and began to eat. A cheeseburger medium rare with all the fix ins, just how he always had it. Accompanying it were onion rings and a coke. It was everything he needed in comfort food, and it was like Granny always knew.

"Did I do good?" Granny asked.

Killian gave her a thumbs up and took a drink of his coke. "It's perfect Granny, thank you. It's like you always know.

Granny pour a splash of rum in Killian's coke and winked at him. "That's my job. Now, tell me what's going on. You don't look like a man who is about to be happily married."

"I hate how you do that." Killian groaned as his took a drink of coke.

"No, you don't." Ruby chimed in sitting next to Killian. "If we didn't do this you would never have anyone to talk to." Killian gave her a sad smile and took another drink.

"Now, spill." Ruby demanded.

"I just don't bloody know anymore." Killian began. " Milah is just.. So... I don't know. I feel like she wants me to be someone I'm not. Like wearing bloody cashmere sweaters and going to that god-awful country club with her folks. Yes, when I first got out of lock up, she kept me on track and kept me out of trouble. I know she hates me for moving her here but after prison I needed to be close to family again." Killian took a large swig of his coke. "Not like that bloody well matters now considering I never get to see anyone unless it's to her discretion. I can't take a bloody piss without her knowing where I am going! I go to the bar, to the gym and ride bikes with the boys between work to stay out of the house. I went on a bike ride the other day and I was gone thirty minutes, thirty fucking minutes before she called me asking me where I was! If I don't do exactly what she wants me to do, she screams at me and sometimes, like this morning, she bloody throws things at me!" Killian took a deep breath trying to calm down. "I love her, I do but… I don't know Granny. I just get this feeling that things aren't supposed to be this way. Do we have good days? Sure. Sometimes we have great days." Killian took another swig of his drink." But the bad outweighs the good on a much grander scale.

Both Granny and Ruby shared a knowing look. There was more, he just wasn't sharing. Granny took her grandson's hand, "Killian, I know there is more. Talk to us." Killian took another drink of his coke but said nothing. So, Granny guessed. "Emma?"

He nodded slowly, "Did you two know She was back?"

"Not until this morning." Ruby commented.

"What happened?"

"That's not our story to tell. You need to talk to her."

Killian nodded and dropped his head in his hands. "I think about her all the bloody time. Every night before I go to sleep, when I wake up, when I'm dreaming. She haunts me."

"Have you told her this?" Granny questioned quietly.

Killian shook his head no. "She was happily married, why would I disrupt her life like that?"

"And you are engaged, not happily may I add."

Killian shrugged, "Proposing to Milah seemed like a good idea at the time."

"And how is that working out for you now?" Ruby scoffed.

"It is what it is. Not much I can be about it now."

"I hate that fucking saying." Granny grumbled. Killian and Ruby looked up at her in shock, the language she never used around them unless she was mad was astounding.

"Killian, what is it you always tell me? A Man unwilling to fight for what he wants, deserves what he gets?"

"Aye." Killian nodded. "That's exactly what I say." Granny and Ruby looked very concerned at Killian, he had never seemed so defeated, so content to settle for misery.

Granny huffed inn frustration, "Killian Alexander Jones so help me, your pride is going to be the death of you."

Killian gave Granny a sad smile.

As Emma pulled up to the sheriff station, her mind was reeling. Killian was here, in Storybrooke. How did no one mention that! She knew that her friends were just trying to protect her and considering that she was "happily married" it shouldn't have matter if he was there or not. She thought she was over him, like really and truly thought so. But the second she saw him, her feelings came back and hit her like a fucking tidal wave. He seemed different though, like that spark she has loved so much had been distinguished some. She wanted to sit and talk to him, find out everything that happened, and find out what it is that Milah puts him through. He was first and foremost her friend, and she cared about him deeply even if he didn't feel the same. Before going into the station, she needed to make a phone call, she pulled out her phone and dialed her older sister, Elsa. Elsa knew everything going on, including her dormant feelings for Killian.

The phone rang once before the other line picked up

"Emma?" Elsa shouted in a panic.

"Ow, I'm deaf." Emma grumbled.

"I don't give a shit if you're deaf! Where are you? Walsh has been calling me."

"I figured he might be. Don't worry I'm safe. I'm in Storybrooke."

"Are you kidding me?! Your home and you didn't tell me!"

"Really? You want to play that game? Killian moved back and you just neglected to tell me? What, did the fact that your boyfriend's brother, whom I was head over heels in love with just happened to come back home?"

"Was?"

"Don't you psychoanalyze me Elsa Lynn!"

"Emma calm down. I'm sorry that I didn't tell you. I didn't think much of it honestly since you were married to Walsh."

"Yeah, well I just ran into him."

"You did?"

"Yeah, literally. I had coffee and Granny's this morning with Ruby and Regina. I was leaving with coffee for dad and hot cocoa for me and as I turned, I smashed right into him."

She could hear Elsa giggling on the other end of the line. "Shut up! It's not funny!"

"It's a little funny. You are so graceful. So, after you realized it was him what did you do?"

"I ran."

"Of course, you did."

"Yeah well he chased me."

"He did?!"

"Yup."

"And?"

"Long story short, He wants to talk to me."

"Oh?"

"Yup."

"And how are you feeling about that?"

Emma let out a long sigh, "Honestly Els? I thought I was over him. Like truly over him. But after he hugged me..."

"He hugged you?!"

"Yes, now shut up and listen. After he hugged me all of my feeling for him hit me like a fucking tidal wave."

"I knew it!" Else squealed. "Stop rolling your eyes at me!"

How does she do that? "Even if I do still feel something for him, what does it matter? He's engaged."

"Yeah, to Satan."

Emma let out a sharp laugh, her sister had an issue with a verbal filter. "Anyway, Gina, Robin, Ruby and I are going to the bar tonight if you and Liam want to join."

"The Rabbit Hole?"

"Yeah."

"I'll ask him. Did you tell Killian?"

"I may have told him that if he wanted to talk to me that's where I would be."

Elsa let out a squeal and Emma rolled her eyes. "You are ridiculous. It's not like he's going to show up. I got to go I have to meet up with dad.

"Ok, but call me back later, we need to talk about what happened with Walsh still."

"Deal, love you."

"Love you too."

As Emma hung up the phone Emma shook her head and put her sunglasses back on. Her siblings had this infuriating optimism that must have skipped a generation. With a groan she kicked the door open and headed inside the sheriff station. She would deal with the Walsh problem now and push down her feelings for Killian to deal with later. Because that is the healthy way, right?

As She entered the station, a wave of nostalgia crashed over her. Her dad had been the sheriff as long as she could remember. He would bring her in to the station and sit her on his desk as her would work. It was what inspired her to go into bail bonds in the first place. It was another place that really felt like home.

"Ah, so the prodigal daughter returns."

Breaking her from her thoughts she turned and saw Graham Allen, one of her classmates from high school and her father's deputy for the past two years.

"Graham!" Emma exclaims. "I didn't see you as I came in."

"No worries, love. David should be back any minute now." an awkwardness fell between the two of them. "So, how have you been?"

"I've been ok." Emma lied through her teeth, "How have you been?"

"Oh, I've been good!" Graham exclaimed excitedly. "After school I started working for your dad and life has been pretty good since then! I have my dog, she's a husky and super cute. You should come meet her sometime!" Emma didn't know what to say, so she just smiled awkwardly.

"Oh Graham, are you bragging again?" David's voice broke through the silence as he entered the station, carrying a large stack of papers and two brown paper bags.

Oh, thank God. Emma thought.

"No sir! Just telling her about my dog."

David laughed and shook his head. "Em, can you join me in my office?"

"Sure dad." Emma turned and smiled at Graham and followed David into his office.

"Shut the door would you, kiddo?"

Emma nodded. "Is he always like that?"

"Graham? Yeah he doesn't get to interact with people all that much outside of work."

"Makes sense. What's in the bag?"

David smiled at his daughter and slid her a bag. "That's lunch. Grilled cheese with onion rings courtesy of Granny's."

Emma gave her father a big smile, he knew her so well. She sat and put her sunglasses on her head, feeling safe in the room just the two of them. She could see that David's jaw tightened in anger, but he didn't say anything.

"So, "Emma said with a mouthful of sandwich, "How was your call?"

"It was ok. A car hit a sign out by the town line, but no one was hurt. How was your morning."

"Good. I had coffee with Regina and Ruby this morning."

"Was Mabel there?"

"Yeah she was."

"Did she threaten Walsh with her crossbow yet?"

"Twice." Emma paused a moment and took a deep breath, "I saw Killian this morning."

"You did? On purpose?"

"I literally ran into him. Did you know he was living here again?"

"I've seen him once or twice over the last few years, but I just thought he was visiting. He always says hi to me and his always pleasant. How did it go?"

Before Emma could answer her phone rang. Emma looked at the screen and went pale.

"Who is it?" David asked with concern.

"Walsh." Emma answered in a whisper.

"Answer and put it on speaker."

Emma nodded and hit the answer button. "Hello?"

"Emma!" Walsh's voice boomed in the office. "Thank God!"

Emma looked up at David who raised his eyebrow is skepticism.

"Where are you?" Walsh asked insistently.

"Not telling." Emma responded shortly. "All you need to know is that I'm safe."

"That's bullshit, where are you?"

"Again, I'm not telling."

"Wow. That's fucking great. You won't even tell your husband where you are."

"Well when my husband hits me, he doesn't deserve to know."

"That bullshit Emma. You need to come home!"

"That's not my home that's your home. I'm not going back."

"Emma you are my wife! You need to come home and fucking act like it. Stop this fucking temper tantrum and come home and be an adult."

"Emma hang up the phone." David said quietly.

"Walsh I'm not coming back."

"Why not? Who are you fucking that you won't come home to your husband huh?!"

Emma's tears were burning her eyes. "No one! For the last time I'm not fucking cheating on you!"

"BULLSHIT EMMA! You see, this is why I correct you. You are a lying cheating whore. You need to come home so I can reprimand you into the wife you need to be."

"What beat me into submission?! I am not a needy fucking housewife Walsh we've been over this!"

"I WILL MAKE YOU ONE!"

David had heard enough, "Emma hang up."

"Goodbye Walsh." Emma choked out.

"No Emma, wait! I'm sorry I love you I-." The line went dead.

David came around the desk and pulled his daughter into a hug. As soon as she felt her father's arms around her, Emma let her walls down and sobbed.

"Shhh, Emma." David whispered to his daughter.

David pulled Emma back and looked at her. "Emma, would you like me to change your number?" Emma nodded yes, unable to speak. "Ok, do you want to head to the court house? Like I said to you this morning this is your choice and I will not push you. But after hearing that conversation. I worry for your safety if you were to go back.

Emma thought for a second. Could she go back? Could she really stay with a man who would "correct" her when she did wrong? Is that a life, or an imprisonment? And what about Killian? Did he still feel the same? Would it matter? Even if she never got Killian back, she knew deep down that she didn't deserve this.

"I want to go to the courthouse." Emma answered her father.

"Ok pumpkin. Let's go."

Killian trudged to the bakery. He had forgotten he was late for a cake tasting with Milah and knew he was going to be in trouble so what's being a little later? As he walked into the bakery he wanted to turn around and leave.

"There you are." Milah said in an overly sweet tone.

"Sorry, darling." Killian kissed her on the cheek. "Lost track of time."

"Where were you?" She asked even sweeter.

"Seeing my grandmother."

"Oh." Milah sneered. "Well now we have important things to do.

As Killian sat down with Milah, the baker started explaining what cake and frosting mixtures they had available, but he wasn't really listening. Chocolate with vanilla bean something and lemon with raspberry something were Milah's favorites.

"Which one do you want dear?" Milah swooned.

"Whatever you want, love." Killian answered absentmindedly.

"Oh good!" Milah turned to the baker, "Now for my cake I want…"

As Milah was talking to the baker, Killian felt his phone buzz. He pulled out and realized her had a message from Liam.

Liam: Rabbit Hole tonight? I'll whip your ass in pool.

Killian read the message and thought of certain blonde he needed to talk to being there.

Killian: Count me in.