Chapter 5- Rabbit Hole

The Rabbit Hole was alive as usual for a Friday night. Being in a small town this was the popular hangout for the younger crowd. Robin and Will were bar-tending, and August worked security now. As Emma and Regina entered it was like a family reunion for Emma and she never felt more at home. August hugged her as she walked in the door and Ruby came bounding up to her. She was wearing a skin tight red mini dress and matching bright red heels. Her dark hair as in curls and pinned in 1940's style victory rolls.

"Emma! Gina!" Ruby hugged her best friends tightly. "You guys look great!"

"Thanks, Rubes." Emma responded. "I have a lot to fill you in on."

"Ooh do tell."

As they were standing at the bar, Emma quickly filled Ruby in on everything from the day, including the discovery of the messages sent to Killian, and how they weren't her.

"You know, I never thought those messages sounded like you." Ruby said quietly. 'I'm sorry I never said anything, I just didn't really see it as my place."

"No, it's ok. I understand." Emma smiled at her best friend. She knew Ruby would never be malicious.

"So, shots ladies?" Ruby asked Emma and Regina with a big grin.

"Bottoms up." Regina said as the three took their shots of tequila.

"Here you go ladies." Robin said with a smile as he set their drinks on the bar top.

"My tab." Regina told him. Robin gave her a mock bow, winked and went back to work.

"Come on," Ruby told them. "We grabbed a table."

As they went around the corner near the dance floor, a large table was reserved by Ashley and her husband Sean, friendsof theirs from high school, and Ruby's boyfriend Jefferson.

"Hey Jeff." Emma called out, pulling his attention away from his phone.

"Em!" Jefferson cheered and hugged her tight as she set her drink down. "Welcome home, we missed you."

"I can tell." Emma said with a giggle. "I can't breathe!"

"Good!" Jefferson gave her another big squeeze and then let her go. "Maybe that way you won't leave again."

Emma sat at the table with her friends and hadn't felt this happy in so long. Ashley and Sean filled her in on their daughter Alexandra and his job at the cannery. They seemed so happy and were one of those lucky couples that made it with their high school sweetheart. In her heart it made her a little sad, could Killian and she be at this point by now if they hadn't been so incredibly stubborn? She never was able to picture a family with Walsh. He never wanted children, so it was just going to be the two of them. But with Killian? She could see a life of laughter and love and children. Too little too late it seemed.

"Come on Em," Regina grabbed her hand, breaking her of her thoughts. "Let's go dance."

Emma grabbed her drink and followed Regina on the dance floor, giving her a confused look.

"You were lost in your thoughts over there." Regina scolded softly. "This is supposed to be a fun night."

Emma smiled and nodded. "Your right." She said as she glanced around the bar, looking for a particular pair of blue eyes.

"Could you be more obvious?" Ruby asked with a laugh as she joined them on the dance floor. "Don't worry, he'll be here."

"I wasn't looking for him." Emma quickly defended.

Regina and Ruby both gave her a look of disbelief, like how dare she believe they were that stupid.

"Shut up." Emma huffed. The three laughed and continued dancing.

Killian, Liam and Elsa arrived at the Rabbit Hole, both parking their bikes right out front where August could watch them. As they approached the door, August greeted him and then greeted Liam and Elsa. Killian approached the bar and shook both the hands of Will and Robin, and Robin handed him his drink already made. Killian left him a large tip and once Liam and Elsa gathered their drinks. They ventured to find their friends.

A whistle from Jefferson turned Killian's attention to a large table. He spotted Ashley and Sean, and the jackets on Emma, Ruby and Regina. But where were they?

"Hey Killian." Jefferson greeted him with a quick hug. He greeted Liam and Elsa in the same fashion.

"Hello mate." Killian smiled.

The friends sat to talk and catch up, and Killian felt more relaxed than he had in years. Here he was, at his favorite bar, with his favorite people. It felt like a family reunion and he his heart just felt full.

"Where is Emma?" Elsa asked Jefferson, breaking Killian from his thoughts.

"Out on the dance floor with the girls."

"Thanks, J." Elsa kissed Liam and ventured to find her sister. Killian was searching the dance floor for the blonde that kept haunting his dreams. He didn't see her so turned back to the table with knowing looks of Jefferson and Liam staring him down.

"What?" Killian asked annoyed.

Both Jefferson and Liam laughed, and Liam slapped Killian on the back. "Come on mate, I believe I challenged to a game of pool."

"Aye, lead on."

As their luck would have it the pool table was closest to the dance floor was open. The gents started their game while periodically glancing to the dance floor, making sure the girls were ok. At least, that's what Killian told himself.

Elsa found Emma on the dance floor and grabbed her arm.

"Em!" Elsa shouted over the music.

"Elsa!" Emma gave her sister a big smile. "Where's your man?"

"I left him with J and his brother."

Emma's eyes went wide as she tried to keep her butterflies in check. "Killian is here?"

Elsa smiled at her sister, "I told you I would get him here. But let's dance, he can sweat it out a little bit longer."

The four women danced together enjoying themselves and the boys were playing pool. Everything was shaping out to be a good night.

About half an hour later, Emma's feet started to hurt, and she needed to break. She made her way off of the dance floor to the bar, got another drink from Robin, and headed back to the table. From her seat she could see her friends and her sister waving at her and dancing like idiots. She smiled and at that moment a hearty laugh that cause her head to snap toward the pool table.

Wearing black biker boots, dark wash blue jeans that were tight and a black V-neck t-shirt that exposed the top part of his chest and his chest hair. His arms flexed as he bent over the table to take his shot, and again when he ran his hand through his hair. He blue eyes sparkled as he laughed, and his smile warmed her heart. He looked so happy and carefree right now.

Emma took a deep breath and a large swig of her drink. She could do this; she could talk to him. Emma stood and straightened her dress and walked to the pool table with a purpose to the pool table. She approached the corner that was diagonal from Killian as he was taking a shot.

"So, what are you boys playing?" She asked. Killian took his shot, and his eyes locked with Emma.

Bloody hell she was gorgeous. Her dress was leather and form fitting. He could tell makeup was covering her eye but that didn't matter. Butterflies stirred in his stomach as he looked at you and the air around them was thick with electricity.

"Nine ball" Liam said breaking the silence and hugging Emma. "About time you came over to say hi."

"Hi Liam." Emma laughed and hugged him back. "It's good to see you."

"You as well Em. Don't be mad, but Elsa filled me in on what happened with…" Liam paused as anger crossed his face. "Him."

"I'm not mad. I figured she would anyway."

"Yeah, and Ruby told me." Jefferson interjected. "He better not show his face around here anytime soon."

"Jeez you guys," Emma huffed. "Does everyone know?"

"Only the important people." Liam stated.

"Face it love," Killian finally spoke and she looked at him. "You are back with the people who care about you."

They locked gazes again and it was as if the world disappeared. There was so much more behind his statement than he led on. In his eyes she could see despair and pain, and in hers he could see hope, and something he was afraid to name.

The spell was broken again when the three girls came bounding up. The group relocated to the table with Ashley, Sean, and Robin joined them since he was on his break. Killian sat next to the wall and Emma sat next to him. Jefferson was next to her with Ruby on his lap. Across from Killian and Emma were Ashley and Sean. Next to them was Liam with Elsa on his lap and at the end of the table was Robin with Regina on his knee. Everyone was here other than Will and August who were both working but stopped at the table frequently.

It really felt like a family reunion. The group started sharing stories of the past and good times between all of them. Each person was catching them up with their lives; it had been close to four years since the entire group had been together, ever since Killian and Emma broke up.

She missed him. She missed the way he held her and the way he would kiss her. Or how he would watch movies with her during thunderstorms. The visits she had with him in prison were some of her favorite moments with him. The meals they shared and the games they played. She wouldn't have traded any of those moments for anything in the world.

He was engaged. It was so wrong for her to feel this way, but she had to tell him. If he rejected her, then at least her conscious would be clear.

Every time her arm brushed his, it sent a tingle of sensation shot through his body. They way her head fell back as she laughed or the way that she smiled. He missed her so much that his heart hurt. What she didn't know was the time he was in prison; all of her visits are what got him through it. When he didn't feel like he could make it through, she was there.

He was engaged, and She was married but he had to try. He had to tell her before she slipped through his fingers again.

Robin had to go back to work, but everyone else wanted to go dance. Emma sat for a minute waiting for Killian to come back from the bar. Did they talk? Did they join everyone else? Her mind kept reeling when he appeared in front of her, holding two drinks and two shots. Killian set them on the table and handed her drink to her.

"Here you go love. Rum and coke just as you like it."

"Thanks. I can't believe you remember that. What's the shot?"

Killian smiled at her, "Why rum of course."

Emma let out a laugh, "Is rum your solution to everything?"

"Never hurts." He winked at her. "A toast!" He picked up his shot and handed hers to her. "To old friends!" he lowered his voice and locked eyes with her. "And new beginnings."

They never took their eyes off each other as they each took their drinks down. Emma felt his eyes trace over her and a smile tugged at the edge of her mouth. They could hear their friends calling them to come join on the dance floor. Killian took his drink in one hand and held out his other to her. Against all her better judgement, she took it and followed him to the dance floor.

The group was dancing together, laughing and having an amazing time. It really reminded Emma of the times in high school they had together. The group was laughing together at each other stupid dance moves and Emma's heart was so full. Killian moved his way behind her and moved with her and her rhythm. His torso pressed against her back and her hand found his knee. They shouldn't be dancing like this together and they knew it, but it just felt right.

Last call came too early, and everyone said their goodbyes. Killian and Emma hung back for a moment to say goodbye to Robin. Killian was walking out of the bar with Emma as they were talking and laughing like no time had passed at all.

"Man, that was fun," Emma laughed out. "I can't remember the last time I shut the bar down."

"Aye, I shut the bar down quite frequently, but I can't remember the last time I had that much fun."

"That's so sad Killian." Emma grabbed his hand without out realizing it. Both of them stared down and their joined hands. Emma snatched her hand back quickly. She didn't want to leave him yet, but she needed to.

"I should go." Emma whispered, not meeting his eyes. "Goodnight Killian." She turned and started to walk to her car, heart heavy.

There you go, you idiot. He thought to himself. Your letting her walk out of your life again.

Not again, not this time.

"Emma, wait!" Killian called out. Emma turned around slowly and locked her gaze into his.

Killian took a deep breath, "I know its late, and you probably are tired but, I'm sober now and I was wondering if you wanted to go on a bike ride with me?"

"You want me to get on the back of that thing?" Emma asked incredulously.

Killian extended his hand to her. "Try something new darling, it's called trust."

Take a leap of faith she thought to herself. Emma took his hand and got on the back of his bike. Killian placed his helmet on her head and got on. She wrapped her arms tight around his waist and off they went.

Killian took them up the coast and stopped at the rocks where they used to come hang out as teenagers. He got off his bike and helped her off, removing the helmet from her head.

"Ok, that was fun." Emma gushed as she looked at the night sky.

"I thought you might enjoy that." Killian responded with a smile. "I come up here to think."

"I guess that hasn't changed."

"No love, it hasn't. I just wasn't ready to go home yet."

They sat down on the rocks and stared at the night sky, neither saying a word. The silence wasn't awkward, but tension radiated between them.

"Killian," Emma began. "Why do you stay with her if you are so miserable?"

Killian looked down at her. "I could ask you the same thing love."

'You first."

Killian shrugged and took a drink from his flask. "I guess I feel like it's what I deserve."

"For what?"

"For going to prison." Killian's voice got soft, "For leaving you."

Here we go. Emma took his flask and took a drink, "Killian why did you leave me?"

Killian stole his flask back and took another drink. "I wanted you to focus on yourself more than you focused on me." He scratched behind his ear. "Our breakup was only supposed to be temporary."

"WHAT?!" Emma stood and faced him with her hands on her hips and he knew he was in trouble. "It was only supposed to be temporary! Are you shitting me? Did you not think that little piece of information would have been important? If I would have known that…"

"Would you have actually focused on yourself if I would have told you that?"

"Yes, I would have! Because you mean the world to me Killian and I would have done whatever it took to have you back. Better yet, why couldn't you have stuck around and loved me while I fixed myself because that is what I needed."

"Emma-"

"No! You get to hush and listen." The rum in her system may have been giving her some needed liquid courage. "Because of your shitty communication skills, I married Satan and you are engaged to his spawn!"

"You could have waited for me! But you moved on!" Killian stood so they were face to face now.

"Because you left me! I never wanted anyone else!"

"Oh really?" Killian scoffed "I tried to reach out to you, remember? You told me you couldn't love a criminal."

"That wasn't ME!"

Emma's voice echoed and the air around them was silent. Killian couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"What?" Killian asked in a low tone, "What do you mean it wasn't you?"

Emma took a deep breath trying to calm her racing heart. "When Walsh and I first started dating, he would take my phone when we hung out, so no one interrupted us. He was the one who answered your text, not me. I never even saw it."

Killian felt like cold water was just thrown on him. "So, you..."

"Didn't know you wanted to give us a second chance? No. If I had known I would have been here a lot sooner."

"Why?" he whispered and took a step forward.

Moment of truth, she thought. "Killian, I miss you." she looked at her hands, wringing them together. "I've missed you since you left me. I didn't realize how much until I ran into yesterday and all of my feelings, I have been shoving down for the past four years came bubbling back up and hit me like a tidal wave." Emma looked up and met his gaze. "It's you, it's always been you. Even though I feel like I am not enough…"

Tears were streaming down her face now and she wasn't even going to try to stop it.

"But it's too late. Your engaged and i know I shouldn't feel this way, but I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I didn't tell you. Even though I filed for divorce today it's probably not enough to prove to you that I always choose you."

"Emma, you did what today?" Killian was doing to his best to hide his emotions, but her confession was everything he wanted to hear and never thought he would.

"Filed for divorce. It wasn't just you; it was also the fact that I am tired of being a punching bag."

"Emma you chose me?"

She nodded, tears flowing openly now.

Killian took another step forward and took her face in his hands. "The only reason I got engaged to Milah was because I thought I had lost you for good. It was easier to settle, than it was to face the fact that I had lost you. If i had known you felt the same, I never would have done it." Killian swallowed hard trying to keep his emotions in check. "Swan, there wasn't a day that went by that I didn't think about you."

"Good." She whispered through tears.

Killian put his forehead against Emma's, "Emma you make me want to be a better man like I used to be. Before everything happened." He rubbed his thumbs against her cheeks and looked at her intently. "Emma, love, I choose you. Always."

Killian couldn't restrain anymore. He lowered his lips to Emma's and kissed her softly and reverently. His lips moved against hers, and she responded instantly. Emma had missed this so much.

"What about Milah?" She whispered.

"I'll take care of it tomorrow my darling I promise. Right now, I just need you to kiss me."

He didn't need to tell her twice