Super Science

Ch 39: New Hires

One day at the Neo Icon Phoenix Research Facility, the whole building was flooded with the sound of incoherent screaming. The screaming lasted from the first thing in the morning until right this moment. Most everyone could power through it except for Cho, who looked like she was ready to rip someone's head off.

Finally having had enough, she charges out of her Division wing and barrels through the hallway, following the yelling until she finds it at the break room, where she bursts through the door and yells louder than whoever was!

"What's going on here?! What's with all the yelling? Who is yelling? It's only 10 in the morning!", she screamed so loud that the shouting stopped immediately upon the sight of the fuming woman.

"They are.", Hankoyō, who was in the break room, pointed to Izuku and Egon.

Both of which were silently cowering from the homicidal-looking woman.

Calming down from the confusion of seeing the two people in the facility with the strongest bond arguing, she could only babble back, "What the-?"

"Izuku found out that Egon is dating his mom.", Honey Lemon, who was also in the break room, explained with a giggle.

Cho raised her eyebrows and asked, "It took him this long?"

Now it was Izuku's turn to be surprised as he half yelled in shock, "You knew!?"

"Izuku.", Egon tried to grab his attention.

Izuku quickly connected the dots and exclaimed while pointing his finger, "You all knew!?"

"Izuku.", Egon tries more firmly.

Izuku whips his head back to the man and proclaims, "Don't you "Izuku" me! Why are you dating my mom!?"

"Cause she's hot!", Egon argues back.

"Egon!"

"She is!"

"She's my mom!"

"So?"

"You're my employer! It's weird!"

"It's only weird if you make it."

"Egon!", Izuku yells.

"Izuku!", Egon yelled.

While the two of them bicker once more, Honey Lemon whispers to Hankoyō, "I heard they've already gone out on several dates."

"Oh!", Hankoyō cooed back in excitement at the gossip.

"And get this!", she exclaimed in a low tone while waving her hands. I heard that they've even been holding hands!", she squealed.

"Gasp! No!", Hankoyō says in fake playful surprise.

"Fingers laced!", She said in a squeaky tone.

"How lude!", Hankoyō comments while putting his finger to his mouth, his head tubes making weird cute sounds.

"Doesn't that make babies?", Honey Lemon asks with a giggle.

At this point, Cho has had enough for the whole day. So she shakes her head and leaves the break room, making a mental note to get headphones.

Despite their low, whispered tone, Izuku and Egon could hear them the whole time and stopped their bickering to stare at them. After they finish and Cho leaves, Egon shouts at them, "Can you two stop being weeaboos! Your scientists, for goodness sake, act like it!"

"AHEM!", calls Morgan's loud voice.

"WHAT!?", The two scientists half yell at the woman.

"If you two are done having a family squabble-.", she began, only to be cut off.

"Don't you dare marry my mom!", Izuku demanded.

Egon looked down at him and proclaimed, "Just for that, I'm gonna marry her sooner than planned!", This struck a nerve in the boy, and he quickly kicked the man, causing him to grab his leg and yell, "Ow, my shin!"

Since they were quite-ish, Morgan continued and informed them, "As I was saying, you two have several people who want to have an interview for a job."

"Are we still hiring?", Izuku asks her.

She explained to him, "As it turns out, we never took the hiring page down on the website."

"Aw, piss! So how many are there?", Egon asks between painful breaths and hopping on one leg.

"About 6 in total, with two of them being a pair.", She answered.

"Let's split them between the two of us.", Izuku offers, and Egon nods, but not before stamping his shoe on Izuku's toes.

A while later, Izuku sat in his office with the first interviewee across from him. Unfortunately, he did expect her to be so…big and had to use four chairs so that she could sit comfortably. The woman in question was a very tall, fox-like woman with a curved figure. She has blonde hair that just reaches her shoulders, a single strand of which goes down the right side of her face. She has large blue eyes with bushy eyelashes and pointed ears, along with teal green fur and a white furry underbelly.

In terms of attire, she wears an orange buttoned-up shirt with yellow-orange buttons and pockets on both sides of her chest, black pants with a yellow-orange belt, a wristband of the same color on both of her arms and an orange headband that seems to resemble a pair of earmuffs. She also wears orange and cream-colored slip-on shoes.

The two of them sat silently for a long while after Izuku noticed something strange with her resume and called Egon to help him. But as time passed, it became apparent that she was getting very nervous and anxious.

So, trying to calm her nerves, Izuku said, "I'm sorry, Ms…?"

"Futsū Josei.", The woman pronounces her name.

"Well, I'm sorry for making you wait for so long. The Professor should have been here by now to assess your….predicament.", Izuku assures her as she nods back in affirmation.

Suddenly, the automatic door slid open, causing the two to jump at its suddenness. In walked a very irritated Egon, covered head to foot in bubbles.

After shaking himself off, he stomps inside. He announces, "Sorry, I'm late, Izuku. Hatsume tried to weaponize bubbles and turned the entire Robotics Division into a foam party. Now what seems to be the-HOLY MOLY!", he exclaimed upon seeing the large woman. "WOW! You, my dear, are a whole lot of women.", Egon commented, craning his head to meet her eyes.

"Professor!", Izuku scolded after seeing the woman uncomfortably blush and fidget.

"What!? People gawk at statues of naked people and pagan gods; I gawk at large women.", Egon argues back.

"Professor!", Izuku yells at him.

"Fine, fine! Sheesh.", Egon finally concedes in a grown-up manner before taking his more professional mannerisms and saying to her, "Sorry about that. You're just…a lot to take in all at once."

"I get that a lot.", Josie replies, her ears pointing down.

Sitting next to Izuku, he says, "Now, what seems to be this precarious predicament you're telling me about.", Izuku hands him her resume. Reading it over, he understands what he meant and says aloud, "Oh, um, I see.", After reading it over a bit, he puts it down. He takes a more proper and professional stance and mannerisms as he tells her flatly, "Well, Ms. Josei, according to your resume, you have zero work experience, zero previous places of employment, and zero skills for the job you're trying to get hired for. Can I just ask, why?"

Suddenly, she tears up and explains, "Please, I have no other choice. Due to my size and Quirk, I'm not someone who is wanted for the workforce, no matter where I go."

Josie puts her hands into her face and starts to weep bitterly in front of the two men; where Izuku gets up, flailing and trying to calm her down and telling her, "Oh, crap. Don't cry! Don't cry! Please don't cry!"

"Yeah, we don't need you making Izuku cry as well; then we'll have to brave the high seas.", Egon said in a low, snarky tone only Izuku could hear.

The teen whipped around and yelled at him, "Professor!"

"Am I wrong?!", he asks with a teasing smile, making the boy blush in anger.

Seeing things starting to unravel, Izuku takes charge and tells her with a firm tone, "Ms Josei, due to your circumstances, we have decided to give you a chance.", She stops crying at this news and smiles wide before Izuku tells her, "But! Don't be fooled by the title of Secretary. It's not about sitting at a desk in cute clothes, clacking at a keyboard with finely manicured nails, making copies and coffee for your boss. It has a lot of challenges and, most of all, experience curves. Are you willing to do everything possible to achieve the best outcome?"

Josie sniffles back her tears and holds up her head while saying, "Y-Yes! I am!"

"Well, then, you start tomorrow at 6:00 a.m. sharp. You'll be shadowing our head secretary, front desk lady, and organizer. They will teach you all you need to know to take over their jobs when need be.", he tells her while holding out his hand.

So elated by this, Josie grabs it and begins to shake it while exclaiming, "I-I'll do my best!"

Unfortunately, she also didn't notice she was shaking him. She stopped, let him go, and apologized.

After he has relieved his vertigo, Izuku shakes his head, fixes his glasses, and tells her, "Though we will have to make arrangements for your….size difference."

"Thank you.", She says gratefully.

Izuku turns back around to scold Egon but sees him standing there with a ridiculous open-mouth smile and two thumbs up! It then dawns on Izuku that his mentor merely did all that to test him. And apparently, he passed, but not to his pleasure.

Sometime later, Izuku's office was again beset by someone looking for a job. Only this time, as Morgan told them, there were two of them: a man and a woman, who were entirely…unique in appearance and personality. The two of them appeared very similar to one another in both appearance and age. Maybe they were siblings or something.

They both had white hair, red eyes, tall, slim, toned physiques, and clothing that could only be described as old-fashioned and ancient in style yet still resembled a scientist. The woman had glasses, and the man had a strange pack on his back that fell into a tub on his strange goggles.

"Aw yeah! Check it out! Ace Researcher Purah.", The woman, Purah, exclaimed while holding a Rock On sign by her head and winking.

"And Ace Researcher Robbie, he-he!", the man, Robbie, exclaimed as he struck a pose and shot his hand while pointing a finger into the air.

"Reporting for duty.", They both stayed in unison.

Izuku laughed dryly and said, "You two sure are….extravagant. So, um, why exactly do you two want to work here? And what do you have to bring to the table?"

"I'm glad you asked, vice president.", Purah said as she took out a file from her bag, placed it before him, and offered, "Have a look at this!"

"It sure is thick.", Izuku comments aloud while feeling the folder, which looks ready to burst.

"It's the cliff notes.", Robbie told him.

Shooting his eyes open in shock, Izuku exclaimed, "These are the cliff notes?! I'd hate to see the whole thing."

Purah explained, "You see, director, we are researchers in the field of ancient technology."

Izuku narrowed his eyes, no longer impressed by them, as he cautiously asked, "What like the pyramids were built by-?"

But Robbie cut him off as he strode around the room, bobbing as if he were dancing to a song, and told him, "Yes, yes, yes, we all know that Hebrew slaves, not aliens, built the pyramids. We're talking about something else!"

Now curious again, Izuku sat back to take it all in. Seeing this, Purah opened the file and flipped several pages to one part, pointing out with her fan, "Studies show that the sandstones used in the construction of these monumental tombs of kings were crafted and sent from the southwest part of Africa. Studies have shown that they were far faster in their delivery than the methods of that age. The only question that reminds me is, how?"

Before the woman could answer that question, Robbie jumped in and exclaimed, pointing to the air, "I'll tell you how! It's ancient technology, y'all, he-he!"

"Uh-huh.", Izuku replied, sitting forward again as his curiosity turned back into caution.

"Still not convinced? How about this?", Purah asked while tilting her head before explaining, "Back when Genghis Khan was expanding his empire of the far west and north, recent studies have shown that he was able to take over towns, villages, and cities in a time much shorter than travel would be possible in these places. Not only that, reports translated from texts say that the Khan army appeared from nowhere and took them by surprise without any warning from scouts. So how did they cover so much land and quickly take over so many civilizations?"

"So how, you may ask!? Well by-!", Robbie tried to exclaim once more.

Only for Izuku to but in and say, "Ancient technology, yes, I get it, Robbie.", Izuku looks over all the notes for several minutes before taking off his glasses to run his eyes and tell them, "To be fair, I had never thought of this before. Humans have been excavating resources from the earth for centuries. If at some point they found a vein of….then they could've….", He trailed off while deep in thought, muttering to himself before changing the subject and asking, "So why choose us of all places?"

"When we saw you pull out and explain that Splinter thing, we knew it just had to be connected.", Purah answers affirmatively with a smile.

"So we dropped everything and came here looking for a job.", Robbie added.

Izuku turned around in his chair and thought this over before turning back to them and saying with his hand out, "Well then….I guess you two are hired."

Meanwhile, in Egon's office, he too was interviewing one or the groups of two that came in. Sitting across from him were two people so vastly different he didn't know such a pair could exist. The first was a toddler-sized human/reindeer hybrid with a broken left antler braced by a metal plate at the base. He has a larger head and eyes and a less defined muzzle. He wears a large pale red/pink fuzzy top hat with a sideways medical cross covered in a blue aviator cap, a blue backpack, an orange and white striped muscle shirt, and a maroon pair of shorts.

The other person was an old woman who surprisingly didn't look a day close to 70. She stands tall and slim with a body that seems to be in her prime despite her wrinkled face. She wears an outfit for someone much younger, including a navel ring, a shirt that bares her midriff, a purple blazer, and purple low-riding pants. She wears a pair of small sunglasses on her forehead when they're not over her eyes. Alongside that, she wears bracelets and rings on her left hand, with a hardened expression on her face. She looked like a real no-nonsense person.

Looking over the papers, Egon asks them, "So your names are Doctor Kureha and Doctor Tony-Tony Chopper, yes?"

"That's right, but you can call me Doctrine; everyone does.", Doctrine told him in a grave voice.

"And everyone calls me Chopper.", Chopper added with a happy tone that held a nervous tick.

"Well, I certainly like what you two have going for you. This alone would guarantee you both spots in my facility." He tells them, making Chopper brighten until he follows up, "Though I have a question for you, Doctrine." The woman tilts her head as she adjusts the toothpick in her mouth. "It says here that you have….unorthodox methods? Can you explain?" he inquires.

Suddenly, the woman gets up from her seat, walks up to Egon, and begins to poke and prod at him in various ways, saying, "Your temperature is 98.2 degrees, pulse is 86, blood pressure is 125 over 85, and BMI is 17.5. Shall I continue?"

After tasting an old lady out of his mouth when she stuck her fingers in there for a temperature reading, he gets up and replies, "Please wait here."

After Egon leaves and Doctrine sits back down with her feet propped up on the desk, Chopper comments, "I think you scared him."

She then whirled to him and punched him straight on the head while yelling, "Don't be stupid! Of course, I didn't!"

A few minutes later, Egon was in with a flabbergasted expression after getting his physical results. He said, "I don't believe it."

"Well, believe it.", she said back to him as Egon gingerly put himself back into his chair.

After this, he breathes a calming breath and asks her, "There's also one other thing. It says here you've been practicing for over 80 years. Even if you got into medical school at 16, you'd be over 120 years old."

"I am.", She says flatly.

"Your what?", He asks her again.

"120 years old.", She tells him nonchalantly.

Trying to freak out over the fact that one of the oldest living people was in his office, he then said while looking at the small animal person, "Changing the subject. Chopper, you are quite young to be a doctor. Not that there's anything wrong with that. The vice president happens to be the same age as you.", With this news, Chopper beans so brightly that Egon almost had to look away from him. But put a hand up to shield his eyes and push through as he continues, "I just want to know what encouraged you to pursue such a career. I can tell it isn't the woman sitting beside you."

With that comment, Egon has to quickly move his head out of the way from a very irritated Doctrines flying toothpick!

Chopper stops beaming and becomes suspiciously quiet and reserved, as if he is having a flashback. After his somber expression turned to determination, he proclaimed, "I want to find a cure for every disease in the world!"

Egon smiled and said, "That's a wonderful dream. I hope that by working here, you can achieve it.", Chopper nodded enthusiastically as Egon added, "Also, I'm quite fascinated by your Quirk—a mutation that makes you look like a reindeer, and a small one at that."

"That's because he is.", Doctrine interjected.

"Is what?", Egon asks back.

"A Reindeer.", She says nonchalantly.

Egon blinks several times, looking between her and Chopper, until he points at him and asks, "Intelligent animal?"

"You got cotton shoved in your ears.", She replied in an annoyed tone.

After digesting all of this, he tells the intelligent animal, "Well, Chopper, you'll be ecstatic to know that two of our other residents are also intelligent animals." Chopper once again snickers at this news. Still, then Egon leans into him and whispers, "But my advice to you. Stay away from Dr. Cluck Orpington. She's nuts."

"I heard that you, hairless monkey!", Cluck shouted from behind his office door.

"Like I said, nuts.", Egon egged on.

The very last person to be interviewed was Izuku, who found himself with an old and strange-looking man sitting across from him with the biggest forced smile he'd ever seen. He was a strange, short man who was already dressed like a scientist with a lab coat button-up, a red tie, pants, and black shoes. He was bald, with the only hair left on his head growing from the back and sides, which gave him two twin tail bushels off the sides. A large nose and thick mustache colored gray framed his face.

Feeling suspicious rising, he asked the man, "Doctor Albert W. Wily. Am I saying that right?"

"Please, Doctor Wily is fine.", He tells him with a slight wave, trying too hard to act friendly.

"I like what I see, but-.", Izuku began until he was cut off.

"But!?", Wily asked too quickly.

Looking back down at the papers, he tells him, "It says here you've been fired from several different laboratories in your career. I may be young, sir, but I know the red flags when I see one.", He inquires while leaning in.

The facade dropped, and Wily loudly proclaimed while pointing at him, "It's not my fault, I swear!"

Narrowing his eyes while raising an eyebrow, he prompted him, "Go on."

Wily calmed down a bit and then explained, "My old associate, Dr. Light, is to blame! I'll spare you the details, we butted heads on a lot of things, and in the end, he tried to ruin me multiple times! But I'm far more resourceful than he thinks. Ya ha ha ha!"

Wily froze up after performing this little scene, knowing he had done himself in. All while Izuku continues to bore holes into him with his suspicious glare! He knew this guy was bad news right away, and he should probably just cut his losses and throat him out!

But then he thought it over a bit more and realized that this man could be too dangerous or slippery to handle for anyone in the future if he got in with the wrong crowd. So the best option going forward would be to bring him on so he could watch him closely and control everything you did.

As the saying goes, sometimes it's better to have the devil as your ally than to have him as your enemy.

So, rubbing his temples, he sighs deeply and tells the old man, "Tell you what. I'll give you a chance. But if I find out that what's been said is true, you can kiss your resourcefulness goodbye.", he said in a firm, threatening tone while glaring daggers at him.

Wily adjusts his tie, gulps deeply while sweating, and answers, "I accept the terms of your agreement."