Super Science

Ch 95: Archive it

"What do you mean "you don't have it" You have to have it! You've been getting regular terabytes of secret information from us for weeks! How can the largest and most powerful country in the whole world possibly lose information on recreating dinosaurs!? It's not possible!", Egon yelled over the phone to the President of the USA.

"That's because, like you, we were scammed from the inside." The president groaned as he rubbed his head through the phone. One of ours sold that same information to several buyers across the globe," he explained briefly.

A vein burst in Egon's eyes when he heard this, and he shouted, "What!? So, you are telling me that several countries and possible criminal organizations now have the needed information to recreate long-extinct animals? Are you out of your mind? What did you even want with dinosaurs in the first place? They're just big lizards."

"...Warfare.", The president begrudgingly and vaguely answered.

The pieces clicked, and he yelled in an insulting tone, "Warfare!? If you want a bioweapon, then just strap a minigun to a Komodo dragon and call it a day."

"It's not that simple! We needed your research to figure out the correct genome sequencing. Without it, we couldn't make creatures capable of going into battlefields or heeding human commands.", the president told him in an almost pleading tone.

Egon grinds his teeth as he tells him off, "Are you nuts!? You can forget warfare cause these things are gonna be everywhere! The black market, illegal pet stores, online shops, farms, and even the wild! I'm still trying to get the dragon situation under control on my end, and now I have to worry about fucking dinosaurs screwing up the ecosystem!?"

The president seems depressed as he brushes it off, saying, "Oh, please. You're overreacting. Nature will live."

Egon finally popped his top and screamed at the man, "Are you kidding? If so much as one Mosasaur gets out, it'll be the end of the whales! We've already got extreme and nearly extinct animals all over, and breeding programs aren't helping! And it's all because of mother fuckers like you!", he slammed the phone down, hanging up the call as he hit his finger in frustration while grabbing his hair as he stressed, "Fuck! What am I gonna do!? What am I gonna do!?"

"Sir?", Otto perks up to him.

"What?! Can't you see I'm in the middle of a breakdown!", Egon snaps at his employee.

Surprisingly, Otto stays calm as he tells him, "Well, can you have it later? I need to go over some things that will probably only make it worse than the one you're having."

Egon groans so loud it sounds more like a scream as he exclaims, "Oh, what could you possibly tell me to make this day worse than it already is?"

Taking out his pad, Otto tells him, "Well, first off, the leader of the Brotherhood of Mutants recently broke out the members we recently incarcerated." At this, Egon falls to the ground and lightly slams his head into the metal floor of his office. "Second, do you know about the UA Summer training program?" Otto inquires.

With his head still on the ground, Egon answered, "Where they take the first-year students up to the mountains to work on individual training with their quirks and rent out those unregistered pedos. Of course, I do."

"Unregistered what?", Otto stopped and asked back in the middle of his news story.

Egon shifts his head sideways, and rolling his eyes, he grips, "Oh, don't act so surprised. They call themselves a search and rescue team, but they dress like idol magical cat girls. I mean, who dresses like that for the mountains, of all things? Plus, one is a tranny; the other is a surprisingly functional low autistic, and the third one is into younger men. Much younger men!", he emphasized the last sentence.

"I noticed how you left one out.", Otto pointed out, knowing there were four members of the Wild Wild Pussycats.

Placing his head back on the cool metal, Egon muttered, "Well, she's the most normal one, but she still dresses like she shouldn't be within four kilometers of an Elementary school." He sighed loudly before prompting, "Anyway, back to what you were saying."

Otto gave him a confused look before realizing it and stating, "Oh, right. Well, they got attacked, and one of the students got kidnapped."

This time Egon brought his head up and got into a sitting position as he said, "Oh shit."

"So they reached out to us for help, and so we sent two of the Valkyries to aid in the retrieval. It was a huge success as we not only retrieved the student but also captured their teleporter." Otto informed him with a bit of glee in his tone. However, his tone shifted again as he followed up, saying, "Unfortunately, All Might and All for One came to blows and ended up injuring the hero so badly that he is now in retirement."

"And All for One?", Egon prompted him, getting more and more unnerved.

"Gone. Even though it looked like he had been finished off.", Otto told him with a confused tone, scratching at his head.

Egon puts on a thoughtful expression while saying, "That's certainly trouble. What about the student who was kidnapped? Who are they?"

"Bakugou Katsuki.", Otto begrudgingly tells him.

"Now I feel conflicted about that," Egon mumbled to himself before asking, "Anything else?"

Looking through his notes, he says, "We have the teleporter, Kurogiri, ready for quirk extraction. And we've managed to reclaim many of our lost assets from the time that Mystique stole them from us."

Egon sighs as he leans back and guesses, "Lemme guess, we've also claimed a bunch of fucked up shit that was created from it?"

"Lemme show you.", Otto offered while waving him along.

From there, the octopus took the man into another chamber where several items were hauled away and neatly lined up in heavily fortified glass boxes on floating dolly carts.

"Although much of the original research notes and Splinters were retrieved, many are still floating around. Still, we were able to confiscate all these things they made," Otto explained as he approached the first case.

Inside was a clear tube with metal mechanical openers that had a suspended black ball of goo that seemed to move on its own. This is where Otto told him, "First up is an organic parasitic amorphous lifeform that takes the form of black sludge, known simply as the symbiote; when bonded to the right kind of host, it grants them many benefits, including rapid healing, superhuman strength, speed, endurance, durability, and reaction time. Although this boost to everything, including superficial immortality, comes with many downsides, including photophobia, insanity, berserk rage, extreme hunger that leads to cannibalism, and death. This is mostly due to the symbiote needing to bind with a perfect host and a constant source of nutrition as the creature will begin to consume the host's internal organs until they are nothing but a sack of skin. In addition, the symbiote can't survive in any conditions except the vacuum of outer space."

"So what does it need to eat to survive and not eat its host?", Egon inquired.

"Phenethylamine.", Otto answered.

Thinking about this, he recalled aloud, "Wait, that's the same chemical compound that's found in both chocolate and…this thing eats brains!?"

"And spleens.", Otto told him casually as Egon made a horrified expression. "Don't let that freak you out yet; this thing also has amazing adaptability and genetic copying.", the octopus followed up.

"In other words?", Egon inquired in dread, trying to keep his cool.

Otto then put on a thinking expression before he elaborated, "Let's just say, for example, the symbiote attached to someone with a spider quirk. Then, the symbiote would have the strength, speed, senses, and wall-crawling of a spider. Not to mention shooting webs." "For all we know, the limits that this thing could obtain could be limitless and universal or multi-dimension in scale."

"Please tell me it has a weakness.", Egon began to break out into a cold sweat while looking at the floating blob.

Otto nods in reply before telling him, "Although hard to do, it can die. But it can't survive in an atmosphere. It's weak to extreme temperatures and high sonic frequencies and is capable of starvation."

Becoming a bit more lax, he sighs and says, "Well, that's good to hear. Put it away and make sure it's tight."

Otto nods as he notes this down. He then goes to another case, holding a single glass vial with a green liquid inside. Motioning to it, the octopus says, "This is Project Titan. One swing of this formula will turn you into a nearly unstoppable behemoth on par with current All Might. Though it'll transform the drinker into a hideous beast, the effects can be reversed with time and regular treatment."

Otto brings him to another containment unit with a large pill bottle filled to the brim within. The pills are colored red and black, divided into individual squares all along its body. Showing them off, Otto explained, "Next, we have the Energy Steroids. These small pills can cause anyone to reach and break their maximum potential in combat, much like Project Titan, but the person remains in full control. Unfortunately, the effects aren't permanent, and the major side effect is the rapid aging of consumers."

The next case held a strange blue, glowing circle device covered in metal, made up of several smaller circles, where Otto told him, "This here is the Arch Reactor. In simpler terms, it's a new kind of element with the power of the sun. We confiscated it from some lousy, loud-mouthed, rich prick in New York City."

The next case held a strange clear liquid with a green tint. The octopus said, "This chemical compound is called Fear Toxin. It can be inhaled or injected to cause visual and auditory hallucinations of, well... fear. Injection is the most direct and potent way of doing it. The dosage and materials used can change its toxicity, making it last longer or kill the person."

The following one was another liquid, a strange red color that appeared to pulsate alongside a manuscript. The octopus told him, "This chemical and book detail the proper use and creation of a form of immortality classified as Vampirism. Once the person is turned, so long as they consume the blood of intellectual creatures, they can live forever."

The following display case was a weapon mount with three distinct weapons. A hammer, a spare, and a sword. The hammer was the only one not on display; instead, it was held up by a mechanical arm. Otto then told Egon, "These three weapons are called Mjölnir, Gungnir, and Ingrid. These three weapons are seemingly magical by virtue of what they do. Mjölnir is a nearly invincible hammer that can be thrown, returned to the thrower, grant flight, and the ability to command the weather. The only downside is that it must be welded by someone "worthy", whatever that means."

The hammer itself wasn't anything too special; it just looked like a well-polished, craved, and engrained stone on a wooden stick that seemed to be 3 cm shorter than it should be.

"That sounds like a load of honky.", Egon blew him off while rolling his eyes. He then walked over to the hammer as the machine placed it on the ground. After trying and failing to budge the weapon, he finally gave up and stated, "Okay. That thing is heavy.", Otto gave him a knowing and smug look with his eyes, only for Egon to shoot back, "But if what you're saying is true, how can a machine grab it and it easily lay on a surface? Shouldn't it break through?"

"That effect only takes place when a sentient creature grabs it.", Otto explained, making Egon sweat drop at such a ridiculous and unrealistic rule. Going to the next weapon, Otto explained, "Gungnir is much the same apart from the worthy bit and the control of lightning. Instead, it'll never miss a target it's thrown at."

Like the hammer, the spear wasn't unique. Its only defining feature was its golden tip, which had several engravings.

"Ingrid, on the other hand, has many similar effects as the first two but is sentient," Otto told the man as he pointed to the sword.

Egon raised a skeptical eyebrow and brushed off, "A living sword? Are you joking?"

"See for yourself.", Otto offered with a knowing gaze.

Egon cautiously reached out to touch the sheathed object, only for it to fly out and float around his head while emitting strange whistling noises as if it were talking. The sword was more unique than the other two, not only for its status as a living being but also because the whole thing was a shining copper gold with a featured blade at the tip.

Egon put a hand to his mouth as he watched the object fly around him and muttered, "Son of a bitch.", the sword continued to fly and whistle around him like an excited dog as Egon noted, "Well, aren't you friendly?"

The sword whistled some more as if to agree, but then it stopped its merriment as Egon told it, "Sorry to say, but we gotta put you away till we figure out what to do with you." The sword flew up and away while making warning noises as its glow grew even brighter! So Egon tried to de-escalate the situation by telling the weapon, "Don't worry. We're not gonna disassemble you. Just put you into storage for a short while."

The sword didn't seem pleased about this, but it compiled regardless as it was the least bad thing to happen. So it goes back into the sheath as Otto takes him to the next thing, which is two giant and extremely well-made suits.

"These next two are specially made suits that were made using the schematics of the V.U.L.T.R and G.O.B.L.N suits. This first is called the R.I.N.O, and it grants superhuman strength, durability, and endurance to anyone who wears it. The only caveat is that once somebody wears it, they can never take it off.", Otto explained as he motioned to the first suit that looked like a metal suit or armor in the shape of a rhino.

Egon gives a despondent look as he questions, "That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. If they can never take it off, how can their skin breathe, and how do they go to the bathroom?"

Otto shrugged and said back, "I'm not sure. We just got it and skimmed over the description. The other one is called S.C.O.R.P.N, which grants the wearer much the same as the first but with more superhuman speed, reflexes, and agility alongside the ability to produce different strains of super concentrated venom and other poisons."

As he stated, the suit looked like high-tech armor in the shape of a green scorpion. Yo, Egon rolled his eyes as he asked, "Again, whose idea was it to make a suit you couldn't take off?"

Otto shrugs and then goes to a case holding three radically different tubes of some kind of strange liquid, to which the octopus explains, "These next two are called Project Hydro-Man, Sandman, and Molten Man. A process that either gives or extremely evolves certain quirks that have a connection to either fire, earth, or water, thus turning the person into a living elemental."

Going to the next case held a strange bumpy stick and a black stone in the shape of a pyramid with a symbol on the inside that looked like a circle with a few lines drawn through it. Otto told him, "These two items are the closest things we have to true magic in the modern age. The first is called the Elder Wand, and the other is the Resurrection Stone. The wand comes with a spell book that we have yet to decipher. But the only three spells we were able to get out of it were Imperio, Crucio, and Avada Kedavar."

Egon Once again raised a skeptical eyebrow as he mused, "Magic? Oh, come on, Otto, don't make me roll my eyes. This is the science we're talking about. Magic doesn't exist."

"Like I said, close enough.", Otto gripes at him, getting a bit tired of his disbelief.

"So what's this Resurrection Stone do? Bring back the dead, though I highly doubt that.", Egon jokingly asked as he opened the case to examine the stone.

"In a manner of speaking, yes. It allows you to communicate with the dead.", Otto answers.

"Now that's bogus.", Egon scoffs as he picks up the unremarkable stone.

He suddenly felt as if his whole body had shifted and then stopped. Shaking off the chill running through him, he looked up from the stone only to find himself in a dark, misty place.

He looked around before saying, "Otto?" Hearing and seeing nothing around him, not even a floor, he called out a bit, "Otto, where'd you go? Better yet, where'd I just go?"

He tried to walk in one direction, but no matter what, it didn't seem like he made and distanced himself from his original spot, so he yelled out, "Hello? Hello!?"

This time, something happens, and he sees the most swirl around him. Then, it is separated into two parts, where they begin to take shape: one male and one female.

As Egon narrows his eyes at the mist figures, he sees their features become clearer, and his eyes go wide as he asks, "Wait…is that….? Mom? Dad?"

Just as he's about to reach out and touch the hand of one of the figures, some kind of strong and strange wind pushes him away from the mist until he's tumbling back and yelling as he desperately tries to cling to the non-existent floor, "No, wait! Come back!"

Suddenly, everything goes bright, and he feels himself being shaken by Otto, who's standing over him and yelling, "Egon, snap out of it!"

Once Whon is back in the real world, he gasps for air and yells, "I-I saw them! My parents! Why'd you take me away!?"

Otto slaps his face and yanks the Resurrection Stone from his hand with a pair of tongs, exclaiming, "This thing is dangerous and quite unstable. Even being around it is harmful. It needs to be kept away."

Otto places the stone back into the case, and Egon continues to stare at it, waiting for the Octopus to grab him and drag the man away! Once away from the relic, Otto shows off a strange book that appears to be bound in human skin with a dreadful skeletal face screaming on the cover.

Pointing to it, he tells him, "Now, this is the Grimoire. It is a book of dark secrets. Unfortunately or fortunately, we can't get it to open no matter what we do."

Coming back to his senses, Egin tells him, "Well, don't and find a way to destroy it if at all possible.", which Otto notes down.

Going to the next case, which held six strangely colored stones, Otto says, "This is one of a few unfinished projects. This one is dubbed the Infinity Stones. But it's hard to put infinity into something, so they are currently just colored rocks."

Going to the second-to-last container, holding a rectangular box with gold and black coloring and strange symbols and lines around it, Otto said, "This is the unfinished project known as the Mother Box. It has many capabilities, including levitation base flight, force field generation, energy projections, mirror illusions, and healing. However, its main capability is portal creation, also known as the Boom Tube. With it, you can travel to any place at any time so long as you know the location."

Egon ponders this one for a while before telling the octopus, "Start researching this one; it could come quite in handy when we don't have a Warp Pad nearby."

After noting this down, Otto shows off the last container, which holds a strange green wooden mask, and tells him, "This item is called The Mask. And apparently, when worn, it grants the person, um, cartoon logic and abilities, but only under the influence of the moon."

After showing off the last object, Otto brought Egon into a hallway where several doors sat with something inside of them, labeled by the green lights above them. Egon thought that was it, but perhaps that was just the ones he could be safely shown. Perhaps each door held something that needed its room.

However, he quickly got his answer as Otto explained, "These last four are animals. The first one doesn't have a name, but we've decided to call it the Moon Dog."

Otto opened the first door, which revealed six sparkling white dogs. Egon remarked, "Oh! They're a bit weird-looking. They're almost like the Wish Dragon from the never-ending story. Is there anything else to add?"

The Moon Dogs were about the size of an Irish Wolfhound and just as shaggy; colored silver white, with heads that were equal in width to their muzzles, with large floppy ears like a basset hound, except their eyes were very human-like and carried a sense of intelligence behind them, giving off an uncomfortable uncanny valley feeling to them. As Egon stated, their whole appearance, from their faces to their bodies' age tails, made them look remarkably similar to the Wish Dragon from The Never Ending Story.

Otto told him casually, "They are intelligent, have multifaceted quirks, and possess human hands."

"Say what?", Egonnssked back as he looked at their front paws, only to realize that they indeed had human hands.

Egon blinked a few times to absorb this as he stated, "Okay, now it's totally weird."

"They can understand you.", Otto side-mouthed to him in a hushed tone.

Egon looked up from one of the dogs' hands and saw nearly all of them staring directly at him with intense stares. Seeing no way out of this situation, he approached one of the dogs and kneeled to it. Then he started, "So, um, geez, how do I talk to a dog?"

"Just like you would your cat.", Otto called out to him.

Egon looked at the octopus over his shoulder and grumbled, "That's different. It's a normal animal, and these guys understand my words, not just the emotions behind them." He looked back at the dog, who continued to stare at him, patiently waiting until Egon blabbered out, "Soooooo, do you guys wanna work with us?"

Otto slapped his huge head, only to be surprised as the Moon Dogs barked back in confrontation. After being acquainted with their new work friends, Otto took him to the next room, where he showed him to a small table where a small Terrarium sat. Inside was a small and strangely colored spider that was larger for something of its species since it looked nothing like a tarantula.

"The second is this radioactive spider.", Otto showed off the arachnid.

Putting his face to the glass, Egon inquired, "Does it give off a strong radioactive signal?"

Otto shakes his head and informs him, "No, and truth be told, we're not sure what it does."

Egon sighs before telling him, "We'll figure it out. Tell me, and I'll decide whether to kill it or not."

Otto nods as he notes this down before taking him to the next room.

Just before opening it, Otto informed him, "The third one isn't an animal but a human."

Egon gives a questioning look before the door opens to reveal a large and heavily reinforced tank with an enormous crocodile man inside of it! Leasing Egon to yell, "Holy crap! What is that thing!"

"Waylon Jones, the tag refers to him as Killer Croc. He is 36 years old and hails from Louisiana, America. He is currently in possession of a Crocodilian Quirk." Otto introduced him to the man-creature.

Egon gives him another questioning look as he asks, "In possession? As in, he wasn't always like this?"

Otto confirmed with a nod before affirming with words, "He was a quirkless man with a severe skin condition. And now he's a monster."

"Let. Me. Out!", Jones growled as he poked his head up from the water.

"Sorry, Jones, but we can't do that.", Egon told the gator man.

Slamming his huge fists against the glass, he screams, "You can't keep me locked up forever! I'll get out! And I'll eat you all!"

"We're not imprisoning you; we're just keeping you here until we undo what was done to you." Egon tried to calm him down, only to hear a growl from the man as he sank back into the water.

After leaving that room, Otto brought Egon to the final room where, just before opening it, he explained, "The last ones don't have names, but we picked them up from a rich man's backyard laboratory in India. He accidentally turned his prize herd of Elephants into sentient creatures. They don't even resemble the animals they were before."

The octopus opened the door, and the moment Egon stepped foot into the room twice the size of the others, he saw something so shocking that his eyes nearly popped out of his skull! Crowded around the large space were, as Otto said, over three dozen elephants that weren't elephants. They were far smaller than their previous Asian form but still larger than a horse. They were covered in an even cost of light brown hair but still retained their hooves and small ears. Their bodies were not as hunched as before and looked far more sturdier. The most noticeable features were their much more intelligent eyes; all had different colors between individuals, and the end of their trunks had developed five finger-like attachments, giving them the appearance of a hand on their trunks. They all seemed to be conversing in their language.

"Holy crap!", Egon shouted loud enough for all the elephants to turn to him. Now feeling very awkward at the unrequited attention, Egon blushes as he whispers, "So, do they have names?"

"Not yet. I think they're deciding it amongst themselves.", Otto answers back in a whisper.

Seeing no other way around this, Egon approaches the animals as if the leader is approaching him. From there, he cleared his throat and exclaimed loudly, "HELLO! I AM FRIEND! I AM GOOD! I AM HERE TO HELP! DO YOU. SPEAK. AT ALL?"

"We do speak, and your native language to boot.", the elephant answered back in a clear voice.

Blushing a deep red at the answer and realization, Egon mumbled to him, "Well, now I just feel like an asshole."

"You must be the charismatic Professor Egon? It's a pleasure. My name is Parvati." The female elephant reached out her trunk, which Egon took and shook after contemplating whether to touch it or not.

"Given or chosen?", Egon asks me, trying to break the ice.

"A bit of both. Now, I hope you don't intend to keep us captive in this place. We may be pacifists, but that doesn't mean we won't defend ourselves.", Parvati tells him in a slightly menacing tone as the other elephants behind her also look ready to engage.

Egon steeled his nerves and told her, "I'd love to say yes, but we have nowhere to put all of you, and I can tell you right now, the world isn't going to be so accepting of talking hyper-evolved elephants."

An idea wasn't too far behind the problem, and from behind, Otto offered, "Why not bring them to Pacifica?"

Egon snapped his neck behind himself and exclaimed in a shocked tone, "Otto! That's a terrible idea! That would be like sending lambs to the slaughter! You know how dangerous it is there. I'm not sending them off to their deaths."

Otto counteroffers, "Then let's make a smaller island off the coast, maybe a small archipelago."

Egon opens his mouth to argue, but bits stop as he thinks it over. After a bit, he admits, "That's not completely impossible. If we break off a small piece, we could use some modified Island Blooms to make them larger in addition to the already present archipelagos. Of course, we'll have to extend the range of the storm and sea machines to accommodate this.", when he comes out of his thought process, he notices that Otto and the Elephants are all staring at him intently, waiting for an answer. To which he finally conceited and said, "Oh alright, you've convinced me. But you guys will just have to wait it out till then since this could take weeks, and we are stretched thin as is. But we'll try to make your living arrangements as best we can."

Parvati nods and replies, "That's more than doable. But if I may bother you," which gets Egon's attention as he's about to leave. She asks him, "Could you provide us with textiles?"

"You want…clothing?" he finally asks after a long and awkward stare from the man, to which the animal nods. Trying his best not to look down, Egon inquires while covering his eyes, "Do you have a sense of shame and nudity?"

"Don't you?", Parvati shoots back.

Egon made a sound in his throat and stated that the answer was obvious, "Well, yes, but that's because my body is wimpy and weak, and I have something to cover. You guys are…different."

"Are we now?", Parvati prompted him, making the man more uncomfortable as the other elephants behind her chuckled at seeing his reaction.

Finally bursting out from his embarrassment, he exclaimed, "Oh come on! Two of my employees are hyper-intelligent animals, and they're naked 24/7! So you can't blame me for being surprised by this.", he sighed after trying to shake off his embarrassment as he tells her, "But yes, we can provide you with clothing.", just before fully leaving the room, Egon prompted her, "By the way, do you and your, um, tribe have a name or do you need one."

Parvati turns to her herd, where they speak in their language, and when she turns back to him, she answers, "We've come to a census referring to ourselves as the Pachyceratherium."

Even for a scientist like him, that was a mouthful to say or pronounce daily, so he kindly inquired of the animal, "Can I call you guys Pachyderms?'