Super Science

Ch 101: Hellish Rebuke

One day at the facility, Egon was sitting at his desk going through potential experiments to be approved or revoked. Luckily, his team knew what he would and wouldn't approve of, so they knew what to put in it and how to word it to make it approved. But Egon wasn't that dumb. Regardless, he rarely needed to disapprove of many things. Most of the time, they get disapproved, thanks to funding or materials. But thanks to several innovations, grants, and splinters, that was nearly mitigated.

As he was stamping his seal of approval or disapproval, he heard a knock on his door and a raspy female voice call from the other end, "Um, sir? Are you there? Can we speak?"

"Millicent?", he called back, thinking it was his secretary. Getting up and walking to the door, he asked, "What are you doing at my door? Normally you call on the phone. And why does your voice sound so weird?"

"Oh, it's not my voice that sounds weird; it's your ears.", the voice said back.

"Huh. I wonder why?", he questions while pushing a button to make it open.

"Maybe it's cause-.", the voice started to say before the door opened, and the barrel of a well-crafted gun was shoved in his face as a masculine voice exclaimed alongside three other shapes, "There isn't a bullet between them bitch!"

Egon didn't stutter or flinch or freak out in sight of the gun and the person holding it to his face. Egon simply went to the coffee maker beside his door, poured himself a cup, took a sip, and snatched his lips. He looked back at the gun, and without any sudden movements, he hit the button to close the door. Once closed, he puts in the commands to lock it down and runs for the door on the opposite side as the voice shouts from the other end.

"Open this hunk of metal, you cum color-haired ass bitch! And take your bullets like a grown-ass man!", the person, who is a small red man thing with horns, yells from the other end. Hearing no response apart from another door opening and closing, the man-thing says, "Alright, run! Daddy likes it when they run."

Another small red man-thing with horns and white hair says to the man-thing beside him with an unamused tone, "Sir…what the hell."

Egon time through the halls as fast as he can to the security room, where he butts through, locks the door, and leans against it while breathing heavily from fear and running! Within this room is Doctor Cluck on her mechanical cart, who was doing her daily security check.

Turning to him, she quips, "Oh hey, Professor. Are you getting your steps in today?"

Egon breathed in a big breath and exclaimed, "No, I'm not getting my steps in today! I'm running for my life! A couple of freaks just broke in, and now they're trying to kill me! Why didn't you sound the alarm!?"

Cluck blinked at him and asked, "We have intruders?"

"Yes!", Egon exclaimed.

Before they could continue, the security door was pounded on, and the voice of the man-thing called out, "Oh, Professor Ego! Open up and spread 'em! I've got the barrel of a gun with your name written on it!"

"And one of them uses a lot of unnecessary euphemisms and toilet language.", Egon stressed in irritation to the chicken.

Meanwhile, on the other end of the door, the red man-thing with horns was trying with all his might to open the automatic door with no success. After a few more seconds of kicking, punching, and pulling, he gave up and looked at it with exhaustion and frustration.

"Dammit! This thing won't budge.", the man-thing growled.

"Sir, maybe we should try a more discrete approach?", the other shorter man-thing offers.

"Great idea, Moxie. I'll crawl through the vents and you guys portal behind them!", says a female man while climbing up to one of the vent covers.

"Before you guys do that, I think we may have other problems," said a humanoid wolf dressed like a goth girl, throwing a thumb over her shoulder.

Looking behind themselves, they saw a small group of Man series robots ready to fight. Fire Man, Bubble Man, Air Man, Wood Man, and more. All of them had their weapons at the ready and pointed at the group of four man-like creatures.

"Attention intruders, you are trespassing on restricted land. Surrender or die.", commander fire man.

"They have robots?", the boss of the group stated in shock and amazement.

"Oh! Aren't they just the cutest? Moxie, get a picture of them with me!" the female man-thing said to the other caller, Moxie, while shoveling a camera in his hands and running to stand beside the robots.

"Accepting request: posing protocol engaged.", said fire man as he and several of the other robots stood and posed.

Moxie took the picture, and the female ran back while exclaiming, "Lemme see!", Moxie showed her the picture, and her mood soured as she complained, "Oh shucks, I blinked! I always blink."

Changing the subject, the leader told the Man robots, "Why don't you tin cans do us a favor and open this door so we can talk to your master."

"Statement: Do you have an appointment?", asked Fire Man.

"No, but I do have this gun!", the leader said while shooting Fire Man in the head.

The robot's head exploded, and the rest fell to the ground as the other robots charged into attack! The four creatures attacked as well, and within a matter of minutes, they had destroyed all the Man Series robots. Nothing but scrap metal remained as the small horned female creature snapped pictures with the robot's severed heads.

The leader wiped the sweat from his bald forehead and stated, "Well, that was easy."

Suddenly the P.A system blared to life and sounded off a siren as an automated message called out, "Warning: Level two defense protocol engaged."

"Level what?", the leader asked as another swarm of much more advanced security drones began to march towards the intruders, weapons at the ready.

"Oh! So the robots got a bit stronger. Well, let's see if you break as easily!", the leader said while reloading his gun and taking a knife in his tail.

This fight went much like the first, with the team of four decimating the robots, albeit with much more effort, as it took far more actually to bring one down. By the end of it, they had destroyed all robots thrown at them, but not without their fair share of minor injuries.

"That was a bit tougher.", said the other man-thing while retrieving his thrown weapons. While doing this, he turned to the leader and said, "Sir, I think we should speed this up. They're trying to wear us out."

The female pulled her battle ax from a drone's head and threw it over her shoulder while agreeing, "I'm with Moxi, Blitz. As much as I love smashing robots, we're getting nowhere."

The leader, Blitz, casually reloaded his gun and said nonchalantly, "What's the rush? We may as well have fun. They have their defenses in easy mode."

"Easy mode!?", squawks the voice of Cluck over the P.A. system as she half yells in anger, "Okay, now you red little freaks have asked for it! Prepare your collective anus for level four!"

In a second, the roof opened into four panels, and from above descended four more security drones, who appeared to be only slightly different from the first batch, with more humanoid features and thicker armor.

"They kinda look like the other robots?" said the creature called Moxie, observing aloud. The robots were revealed as assassin droids as they took out their bladed weapons, buzzing with electricity, making all the creatures feel their lives in danger as Moxie squeaked out, "Or not."

Back on the other side of the doorway, Egon and Cluck both listened once again to a fight break out on the opposite side of them. Guns went off, swords and blades cut the air, grunting, straining, and some screaming was heard, even some cursing. Eventually, it all went dead silent, and Egon dared not open the door, even after not hearing the four individuals converse with one another. But after waiting long enough and not hearing anything, they assumed they were fine and not being baited into a trap.

Just to be safe, Egon asked Cluck, "Is it over?"

Click turned his attention to the monitors and showed him a camera that had all four of the culprits in the restraints of the assassin droids, unmoving but alive and unconscious. Leading Egon to sigh with relief while resting on the control board.

Blitz began to awaken after his fight with the assassin droids after an unknown amount of time, not remembering what had happened. In his half-awaken state, he began to see shapes move around and hear voices that got clearer the more he focused on them. Had he been on a binge again?

Meanwhile, on the other end, Egon, Izuku, and Cluck went between Blitz, making comments about him and trying to pinpoint who or what he and his friends were. Taking another look at the man-thing, Izuku commented, "Yikes, these guys sure are ugly!"

"Where did they come from, and who are they?", Egon asked his protege, still confused as to why they were trying to kill him before.

Izuku, who had forgotten why he came back to this area, looked at his Purah Pad and informed him, "No records of them are shown in any world data."

"So they're a bunch of Jon and Jane Doe's?", Egon inquired.

"Here's more news, it's not even human.", Cluck told them as she handed off a chart to the man who looked at it and saw how their DNA, or whatever it was, made no sense.

At this point, Blitz had woken up enough and was able to angrily vent, "Oh, for fucks sake! Could you dipshits not talk so loud. I've got a nasty hangover."

Only for Click to use her robotics cart and grab the creature's head upwards to face her as she says, "I'm afraid you're not experiencing the after-effects of an overnight binging."

Blitz blinked at her a few times as if to make sure he was actually seeing her, then freaked out and yelled, "What the shit!? Talking chicken?!"

"Aren't you a bright one?", Cluck said sarcastically while rolling her eyes.

Blitz then quickly came to realize he was restrained on a table with cuffs holding him down at all four of his limbs, his tail, and his upper torso. No matter what he tried to do, the restraints would not budge.

Click quickly got tired of watching him struggle and dashed away all hope by telling him, "I would stop trying to break out; these restraints could hold a blue whale in place."

"If you think that this shit is gonna pin me down.", Blitz began to say while straining himself to one side, "Then you!", He said while straining to the other, "Are!", He continued while straining back to the other side, all before finally giving up and going slack as he admitted, "Right."

"Told you.", Click rubbed it in.

"Oh, shut your egg hole, you corn-munching cock wobble! Now where is my daughter and friends?!", Blitz yelled at the bird while trying to take a snap at her.

"And you say I have a dirty mouth.", Egon side-mouthed to Izuku, who shot him a look.

Click pecked his head and told him off, "Calm your red tits freak show. They're right next to you."

Looking at the chicken motions, Blitz sees his two best and only employees and his daughter. In relief, he cries out, "Moxie, Mille, Loona!"

"At least we know their names now.", Izuku quipped to Egon, who nodded.

"Ugh. What happened?", Loona asked, being awakened by her dad's voice.

"Our assassin droids creamed you guys.", Cluck told her

Only for Moxi to shoot his eyes open as he said in fear, "Are we dead?"

"No. But you may be unless you talk.", Egon told the group of four as he sat down in a seat across from them, hunched over, hands laced, and glasses with a gleam covering his eyes.

"First off, who are you four, where did you come from, and why are you trying to kill me?", he calmly yet firmly demanded from the group of creatures.

Before the creatures could say or do anything, the door to the room they were in opened up, and Dante walked into the room with his pad, saying, "Professor, are you busy right now?"

"Not now, Dante. We're in the middle of a crisis," Egon told the devilish man while waving him off.

Before he could leave, Blitz caught sight of the half-demon and stated in confusion, "Dante?"

"Blitz?", Dante said back.

"Blitz?", Egon and Isuzu question.

"Sir?", Moxi questions.

"Blitz?", Loona questions.

"Blitz?", Mille questioned.

"Moxie, Mille, Loona.", Blitz says back.

"Moxie, Mille, and Loona?", Dante questions.

"Barkan.", says Barkan in the corner of the room.

"Barkan!", Egon exclaimed in a firm tone.

"Dante, do you know this guy?", Izuku asks the demon.

"Yeah, he and the other two are imps from hell. Except for the dog-looking one, she's a hellhound.", Dante explained.

Blitz was a shorter imp around eye level with Izuku…at the horns with no ears and slits for a nose like a snake with sharp teeth and forked tongue. Red in color with a large patch of white around a good portion of the right side of his face and neck. A ridge of black spines goes down the back of his neck to his long tail, which has a splash of white and black markings at the end. He's completely bald, apart from two large horns that run with a slight curve, and the horns have evenly matched black and white stripes. His sclera is yellow with red pupils and black slits, while a strange heart-like symbol sits on his forehead, colored black. He wears a long black tail coat with red insides, a red shirt, a white collar, a skull-shaped choker, black pants and boots with red trim, and two gloves that cover all but the tips of the fingers with yellow eye-like adornments on the top of the hand.

Moxie was an imp shorter than Blitz but different in appearance. He had no facial features like Blitz but had well-kept white hair and horns that curved like an antelope with three white freckle marks on each cheek. He wore a tailcoat similar to his boss but was far more well-kept. He had a red bow tie, white insides, black gloves that covered all but the fingertips, and black pants with no shoes. But instead sported goat-like hooves. His tail had far fewer markings on it apart from two black stripes. He even wore a wedding band.

Mille was an imp that was only slightly shorter than Moxie, who was her husband, by the matching wedding bands they both had. She shared months of the traits that the other two had, but her hair was messy and raven black. Her horns were solid black with thin white stripes, long eyelashes, and a heart-shaped tattoo on her right shoulder colored black, and she was clearly the most physically fit of the two. She wore a black set of overalls that were ripping several parts of the legs and covered in white swatches all over her arms, body, and tail.

Loona was a hellhound…apparently. She was tall, slender, with a defined feminine figure, long messy gray hair covered in white fur with sections colored light to darker gray on the back of her ears, shoulders, neck, back, legs, and upper portion of her large fluffy tail. Her scalers are red with white pupils, two earrings on her left ear, and two torn-off sections on her right ear. She wore a spiked collar, black shorts that were torn in several spots, and a gray crop top with the upper section having a pentagram made as her straps. She also had the most unfriendly disposition; she was either annoyed or angry all the time, giving the impression of a moody teenager.

"That's a hellhound?", Izuku asks while pulling up an artistic rendition of a hellhound and putting it beside Luna for comparison, only for Luna to growl at him in retort.

"They're demons?!", Egon exclaimed in shock and fear.

"Are they a part of the tenth generation you spoke of in the interview with Izuku?", Cluck asked Dante.

"Yep, that's why you guys were able to capture them and put them in normal restraints. If not, they would just phase right out of them." Dante nods and explains as Egon makes a mental note to find out how Cluck found that interview tape.

"Oh, don't you start with that generational shit! And you're calling yourself Dante now? The fucks up with that?", Blitz demanded.

Dante rolled his eyes and shot back, "You guys look down on me for being half-human. You have no room to complain. Also, yes, it was given to me after I escaped."

"Christ on a stick, how'd that happen?", Blitz said with an impressed tone.

"They happened.", Dante motions to Izuku and Egon.

"Blitz, how do you know this Cambion?", Looks asked her dad.

"Oh, I used to eat his ass.", Blitz said casually.

Everyone either looked at Dante or Blitz after hearing that! If Dante could blush, he would be bright red as Izuku, Egon, Cluck, and Barkan all stared at him in shock. Meanwhile, Moxi and Loona both shared the same unamused and disgusted reaction while Mille snorted in laughter.

"Of course, you did.", Loona huffs in aggravation.

"So why in the unholy name of hell are you here? And more importantly, how are you here?", Dante exclaimed, trying to change the subject.

"We used a grimoire.", Mille answered.

"So that's what this book is. I can't make heads or tails of the language," Cluck said while using her cart to hold an unusual yet well-made leather book.

Dante looked through the book briefly and told her, "It's demonic."

"As for how I got it, I fucked a skinny rich thirsty owl twink in exchange.", Blitz once again causally explained.

"Oh, of course you did.", Dante groans out a sigh.

"And as for why I'm up here? Im here to kill that fucker!", Blitz yells while pointing his head at Egon.

Egon got up in surprise from such a reaction. Izuku was behind Egon, and Dante stood in front of Egon in defense.

"Him? Why are you trying to kill him?", Dante demanded.

"I run an assassination business.", Blitz informed him.

"You run a business…in hell?", Izuku inquired in confusion.

"Even mainstream corporations exist in hell. I shouldn't be surprised, but I am," Cluck said while noting this.

"But who would want to put a hit on me?" Egon asked while holding his head, only to let go of his panicked expression, which went slack. He reiterated, "Actually, now that I say it aloud, who doesn't?"

"Oh, this isn't business, it's personal!", Blitz said in a threatening tone.

"But I don't even know you?", Egon told him.

"Well, I'm Blitz; the O is silent.", Blitz sarcastically introduced himself.

"What, O?", Egon asked.

"There's an O?", Izuku adds.

Blitz gave a rye smile at this and said, "I like you guys already. Feel bad for having to kill ya."

"Okay, hold up. Why don't you just tell me why you want to kill me.", Egon interjects while trying to get to the point.

"Maybe it's because, oh, I don't know, you stole my fucking brand!", Blitz yelled at him.

"You're what?", Egon asks.

"My business name! The Immediate Murder Professional! Or I.M.P.", Blitz yells at him in anger.

Cluck, Izuku, Egon, Dante, and Barkan all looked at one another before looking back at the imp, where Egon tells him, "That's not our name."

"Say again?", Blutz says while raising an eyebrow.

"That's not our name. Our abbreviation isn't I.M.P.; it's N.I.P.", Egon explained.

"N.I.P?!", all four of the hellish creatures say at the same time.

"Yes. N.I.P! The Neo Icon Phoenix Research facility.", Izuku explained further.

"Wouldn't it be N.I.P.R? Or N.I.P.R.F?", Mille inquired.

"The last part is silent.", Izuku said with a joking tone while looking at Blitz.

Blitz gives him an amused expression, then says, "Very funny."

"You really tried to kill me on the basis of a misunderstanding?", Egon asks the demon in a flabbergasted tone.

"I told you we should have double-checked!", Moxie yelled at Blitz.

"Give it a rest, Mox.", Blitz groaned back at him.

"He's killed for less.", Dante told Egon, who narrowed his eyes at the demon.

"Well, this is awkward. How's about we let bygones be bygones and forget this whole thing happened, yes?", Blitz offered with a worried expression.

"You know I should kill you three and use your bodies to work on our anti-demon weapons and defenses without having to subject poor Dante to it.", Egon began to say with an irritated expression on his face.

To which Cluck adds with a sinister tone, "Oh yes, it would be most great to study demonic genealogy.", only to turn to Dabte and whisper, "Do they have a penis?"

"Blitz and Moxie do. There, guys.", Dante replied.

Only for Egon to sigh, rub his eyes under his glasses, and follow up, "But I'm already walking on eggshells with heaven, so yeah, you're free to go."

Cluck and Dante look at Izuku, who shrugs and motions for the demons to be freed. Cluck goes to a control panel and hits the release button, allowing the demons to drop to the ground while rubbing their sore body parts.

After Blitz gets feeling back in his hands, he looks back at Egon. Walking up to his side, he says, "Thanks so much, and hey, no hard feelings, right?"

"Let go of my ass, right now.", Egon warns the imp as Blitz squeezes his butt and immediately lets go.

Blitz then steps away and brushes himself off while pulling out a business card from his coat pocket and handing it to the man while saying, "And if you're ever in need of someone dead. You can call us, and your first assassination will be free!"

Egon looked at the card and saw it written as I.M.P. Immediate Murder Professionals with two phone numbers on the bottom: the office and one for Blitz's personal phone. Egon set the card down on a table and told him, "Thanks, but I don't think I'll be needing your services. I kind of want to get into heaven."

Blitz shrugs and says to his team, "Suit yourself. Come on, gang! We've got someone to murder in Miami!"

Loona takes the grimoire back from Cluck, opens a portal, and all four of them walk through it before it closes right behind them. Once the demons are out of sight, Egon turns to the people left in the room and tells them, "We shall never speak of this again."

"Never speak of what again?", Izuku says back.

"Exactly.", Egon agreed.