Two of the guest reviews [which have now been deleted] have been griping about how I haven't made any changes to the story yet. Well, first off, have some stinkin' patience, why don't you? Also…no changes? Haven't you been paying attention to the story? Guess that shows how much your complaints are worth. Zero. Zip. Zilch. Nada. A personal check for bupkus, drawn on the First National Bank of Squadoo!
Also, bonehead, I never once implied Kenma had control of his curse. PAY ATTENTION, why don't ya?
In the meantime, Steelhorn will return again on her own terms. As soon as we decide when to bring her back.
Also, AsheTDust, the main timeline is still going. This is just like a clean-up sort of deal.
Chapter 5: Piggy Noses and Black Roses
PREVIOUSLY!
While Kenma was dealing with yet another father-daughter duo who had been suckered by his old man, Ranma had his long-awaited confrontation with Ryoga…but things got ugly…
KER-CHOP!
What had once been Akane's ponytail drifted down behind her, like a tassel. Fortunately, Ryoga's bandana hadn't sliced her NECK instead.
By then, Akimitsu and Kenma had rejoined the others, only to find that Akane was practically comatose…just staring blankly ahead like a mannequin.
"Hoo-boy…it's worse than I thought," murmured Aki.
"What, her haircut?" asked Kenma.
"You gotta be kidding," Aki remarked. "...personally, I think she looks better with that extra part cut off."
"Oh, well that's a bit of a surprise," responded Kenma. "Still, if I see Ryoga again, I'm gonna give it to him somethin' fierce."
"Be sure to save some for me, Ken," the hockey player said with a clenched fist. "If only I was a little more skilled…I'd break his arm."
"Hey…if it'll cheer you up, Akane, go ahead and hit me, okay?" asked Ranko, getting the attention of both boys.
"Looks like that's where the action is," mused Kenma. "Let's get a move on!"
And so the both of them ran back over to the schoolyard.
Meanwhile, Akane stood silently, staring ahead like she was a zombie, while Ranko and Ryoga attempted to placate her.
"C'mon, don't hold back!" insisted Ranko. "Let it fly!"
"Pow, lay it on me!" Ryoga nodded. "Right in the kisser!"
…so she did.
THWACK.
And Akane turned and went home, leaving both combatants with stinging handprints on their left cheeks.
"...agreeable girl, isn't she?" Ryoga asked.
"...shuddap…" Ranko muttered.
Without a word, Akane trudged down the otherwise empty street, before she reached a post. Clenching her fist, she drew back and delivered a dent-inducing punch that bent the pole.
As she turned to go, she stumbled over her ankle and winced.
I must have twisted it earlier when I tripped, she thought, remembering the fight.
I'm pretty close to the clinic…so no time like the present, Akane decided as she limped away.
At the top of the pole was Ranko, clinging on like an opossum.
Damn…she's REALLY angry, the pink-haired girl thought. Maybe I'd better put some space between us for a bit.
Some time later, Akane was up in her room, reflecting on how long she'd known Doctor Tofu. Ever since she was little, he'd helped to patch her up, especially whenever she got into a scrape.
Of course, even when she was little, she'd noticed that the good doctor acted much differently around Kasumi. With the advent of hindsight, she'd realized it was because he was in love with her.
So, Akane decided to try and grow her hair out, in an attempt to resemble her big sister more…and get the doctor's attention. Plus, it didn't help that Kasumi had chastised her for acting so boyish, saying that "if she didn't act more ladylike, Dr. Tofu wouldn't like her".
But, thanks to her unwanted haircut, those plans had been seriously curtailed…and then again, it wouldn't have mattered in the long run, especially because Dr. Tofu had a fiancée.
NOK-NOK-NOK.
Akane looked up from her desk to see Ranko, peering in through the window.
"...hi…" the pinkette greeted.
Akane opened the window. "...you expected me to be bawling my eyes out, huh?" she asked.
"...well, a little bit—" started Ranko, before…
WHUMP.
She was beaned in the face with a desk lamp.
"Well, I'm NOT upset," said Akane. "Leave me alone."
And she closed the window.
Downstairs, Kasumi and Dijon were in the kitchen, making dinner when Akane came in.
"Oh, Akane! Did you just get ba—" started Kasumi as she turned around. Of course, when she saw Akane's newly-sliced locks, she panicked and nearly dropped the pan. Thankfully, Dijon caught it.
"...that's a bit of an overreaction, isn't it?" asked Akane.
Kasumi sighed. "Sorry, it's just…what happened to your hair?" she asked.
Akane shrugged. "I just felt like it was time for a change, y'know?" she asked. "Besides…" She took a peek over at the stove. "I guess you have, too. Who's this guy?"
"Oh, this?" Kasumi asked, surprisingly red-faced. "This is—"
"Name's Dijon!" greeted the young man, shaking Akane's hand. "I'm an archaeology major who's gonna be crashing here for a while. You must be…Akane, right?"
"That's right, but how did you know that?" asked Akane.
"Oh, well, Kasumi told me a couple hours ago," Dijon replied. "Got me up to speed."
"Ah, I see." the younger Tendo sister replied. "Well, Dijon, I hope you like it here."
"Well, between you and me…" Dijon said, sneaking a glance at Kasumi. "It's looking great."
"Anyways…I was wondering if you could help me clean it up," said Akane, holding a pair of scissors.
"Of course, Sis. I'll get right to that after I'm done here," responded Kasumi.
A LITTLE WHILE LATER…
Akane was outside, taking a stroll...and feeling a bit better, emotionally.
On the other side of the sidewalk was Akimistsu who had just finished his session of afternoon Hockey practice.
"Oh! Hi, Akimitsu!" Akane called out as she waved to the young athlete. The boy looked up and saw his crush.
"Akane! Hi!" he called as he ran across to meet up with her. "I see you're trying out a new hairstyle."
"Please, I don't wanna talk about it," the tomboy insisted.
"Alright, if you say so," replied Aki. "I was just gonna say I think that looks good on ya."
"No, don't do that either," Akane waved him off.
Aki looked confused. "...do what?" he inquired.
"Don't lie to me just to spare my feelings." she explained while looking down.
"...well, I wasn't, but that's good advice just in case," Aki replied after a few seconds.
"You mean, you really think I look good like this?" Akane asked, genuinely curious.
Aki smiled. "Sure, why wouldn't I?" he told her. "Besides…it feels more like the true you."
"...that's probably the nicest thing anyone's said to me all day," replied Akane.
"Glad I could help brighten your day up some," said Aki.
"Thank you, Aki," Akane smiled.
ELSEWHERE, IN OKINAWA…
Ryoga trudged across a sandy beach. "Just you wait, Ranma…our duel was left unsettled…" he growled. "But I'll storm the Tendo Dojo…and finally show you just who is the stronger of us both!"
And he continued on his way across the hot sand, while a couple was watching the sunset.
Eventually, he arrived at the Dojo, where the rain was pouring down in the middle of the night.
TENDO DOJO
2:06 AM
As he arrived, he eyeballed the sign. "Yep…this has to be the place," he muttered. "The Tendo Dojo…soon to be Ranma Saotome's gravesite!"
A jolt of lightning streaked across the sky, illuminating his face.
As expected, everyone was sound asleep inside, with Genma in panda form snoring away in one room, and Ranma and Kenma in another. After one false start, Ryoga made his way into the other room and glared at the black-haired boy.
Such an obnoxious, arrogant, cocky idiot…how you could share DNA with someone like Kenma has to be a cruel joke of some kind—one that I intend to rectify.
"Get up, Ranma," Ryoga growled. "Let's fight."
But Ranma simply dozed on.
This REALLY got under Ryoga's skin. Here he was, at full tilt and ready to throw hands, and here Ranma was, sleeping like a baby! The nerve of him! How dare he not stay up until 2 in the morning!
"WAKE…UP…NOW!" bellowed Ryoga, driving his fist towards the pillow. But Ranma rolled out of the way, avoiding receiving a brand-new breathing hole straight through his skull.
"ENOUGH, RANMA!" Ryoga shouted, before trying to send another punch, which was again, avoided thanks to a timely roll-out-of-the-way.
Ryoga was so focused on Ranma, he didn't even sense another person awakening.
"OPEN YOUR DAMN EYES!" screamed Ryoga, but then he received a tap on the shoulder. Poink! Poink!
"Hm?" he mused, turning around.
Standing there was a very angry Kenma with bloodshot eyes, and raising his left fist.
KRAK!
The lost boy tumbled across the room and landed in a heap.
"Explanation…" Kenma's voice was low and gruff; he wasn't in a very funny mood right then. "NOW."
"Oh, Kenma! Funny story, really!" Ryoga stammered. "You see, I was just—"
"You were just…WHAT," Kenma hissed.
The lost boy gulped. "Trying to fight your brother?"
"At two in the damn morning?" Kenma snarled.
"Was that the time? I had no idea!" Ryoga attempted to bluff. "I am so sorry!"
"You had no idea," Kenma chuckled dryly, before he picked Ryoga up by his shirt. "Listen here, and listen well. It is late. Ranma and I have school in the morning. And neither of us needs to deal with this stupid crap. I was in the middle of a very nice wet dream. The fact it was interrupted has GREATLY pissed me off."
"I see…in that case I'll let myself out!" Ryoga said with a nervous smile.
"I'll do you one better—a free ride," snarled Kenma as he picked Ryoga up and took him to the window. Sliding it open, he reared back and hurled the lost boy outside [think how Uncle Phil threw Jazz out].
Once that was done, Kenma shut the window and got back into his sleeping bag.
"And now…peace and quiet…" he sighed as he drifted off to sleep.
Meanwhile, upstairs…
Akane had overheard some of the noise, and went out to look for the source.
"All that racket at two a.m.?" Akane said to herself as she turned on the light. "...someone's here."
Grabbing her Shinai, she was joined by Kasumi, who'd also been awakened by the noise.
"Who could possibly be up at this hour?" asked Kasumi.
I dunno," replied Akane, gripping the handle tightly. "But whoever it is will regret coming in here!"
The two sisters made their way downstairs, where noises were emanating.
"Are you gonna come out or do I have to come to you?" asked Akane as she gripped her Shinai.
There was no response as the noises continued.
"Alright, you asked for it!" called Akane.
Then, a small black figure appeared out of the darkness and lunged at the tomboy.
"AAH!" Akane screamed as she swatted it away with her Shinai. As soon as she got a better look, she saw that the assailant was actually...a tiny black piglet with a bandana around its neck.
"Huh? Where'd you come from, little guy?" the youngest Tendo sister asked as she stooped down to her knees.
The piglet squealed defensively as it got into a defensive stance…or the best it could muster, being, well…a piglet.
"Come on, don't be scared," Akane insisted as she knelt down and beckoned to the animal.
Cautious, the piglet inched towards Akane's outstretched hand.
"Well, I'll be," she commented. "You're soaked to the bone!"
So she scooped him up. "You must have been out in the rain," Akane noted. "I guess I could find you a band-aid."
The black piglet then leaned into the tomboy's grasp, nuzzling against her hand.
"C'mon…let's get a move on," she insisted. "We'll make it quick and get you settled. Maybe I can get you a crate and a blanket to sleep in."
THE NEXT MORNING…
Both Ranma and Kenma came downstairs for breakfast.
"Eight hours spent wisely…" yawned Ranma.
"Oh, for sure," nodded Kenma. "Plus, you actually got to sleep in, instead of going after Ryoga."
"Huh? Ryoga?" asked Ranma. "What'd he want?"
"What else?" Kenma replied. "Misplaced payback."
"Oh, of course…" Ranma answered with a blank expression. "I should've expected that."
"Well, better keep expecting it," said Kenma. "...you know how I've been getting deja vu lately?"
"Yeah, I've been wondering what that's about," replied Ranma.
"Well, I got another vision," said Kenma, pointing at Akane's piglet. "...the pig is Ryoga."
"Wait, really?!" his older brother asked with a raised eyebrow. "How can you tell that's Ryoga?"
"Well, outside of my weird visions and the fact the pig is glaring daggers at you," Kenma stated as the pig was absolutely glaring killer intent at Ranma when looking at the boy. "There's also the fact he's wearing Ryoga's bandana that he never takes off."
"Ah! Well, I guess we should leave him be, for now," his older brother shrugged. "That being said, we should still keep an eye on him and make sure he doesn't get outta line."
"I had a similar idea," Kenma nodded. "We need to make it clear that we could expose him at any moment."
"Ok, what do you have in mind?" asked Ranma.
"...squirt guns," replied Kenma. "Loaded up with the water of choice. I'm somethin' of a crack shot."
"Haha!" the older Saotome brother laughed triumphantly. "Kenma, you're a genius!"
"In this world?" Kenma replied. "Someone has to be!"
"Yep! It's you and me, Ken!" Ranma affirmed as he sat down at the table. "Ran-Ken against the world!"
"Hell yeah," grinned Kenma.
Akane, meanwhile, was continuing to talk about the piglet she'd recently picked up. "I found him in my room last night," she explained. "He was totally soaked!"
"So what, he just climbed in?" asked Nabiki.
"Don't be ridiculous, Nabiki!" Akane replied. "He must've snuck in when that mysterious person came to try and rob us."
"Does he have any tags?" Kasumi inquired.
"I've heard of a dog tag, but never a pig tag," Kenma interjected.
"Surprisingly, no," replied Akane. "So can I keep him, Dad? I promise I'll take care of him! I've even got a crate or two he could sleep in, and some old blankets I could use for bedding!"
Am…am I actually getting free room and board right now? thought Ryoga, his eyes widening.
…eh, what the hell. I'll take it.
Soun rubbed his chin. "Alright, but you'll need to make sure he's had his shots," he replied, making the piglet's eyes bug out of his skull.
"OK then!" Akane said, cradling the pig like he was her baby. "Looks like you'll have a home soon, P-Chan!"
Ranma raised a brow. "P-Chan…?"
Akane nodded. "Yup, as in 'Little Pig'," she replied.
"As in, little pig, little pig, let me come in?" Kenma added.
"Eh! Maybe you oughta call him Wilbur?" suggested Ranma. "Might as well name him after a more fortunate pig…"
"You know, that might be a little better," Akane agreed. "Wilbur it is, then."
[My co-author's never been too fond of the name 'P-Chan'. And…fair enough. It IS pretty obvious.]
LATER THAT DAY…
Ranko and Kenma were walking home, the former with a big bag of pork buns, and the latter with a pair of squirt guns he'd purchased.
"Can't believe I got an extra for free," Ranko smirked as she chomped down on one of the buns. "I guess this form does have its advantages—at least when I'm out buyin' food."
"And here I thought you hated being a girl," Kenma remarked.
"Don't get me wrong, I do," his sister clarified. "I just thought that I might as well make the most of it."
But then a voice caught their attention. "You must be from Furinkan High School," it said, in a clearly feminine tone.
"Why the rush, silly fools?" she asked. "We'll be facing off in a week, anyway…"
"We don't wanna hear it!" said one person, their face wrapped in bandages like a burn victim.
"It's time to end our grudge!" exclaimed another.
"We'll take you down, right here and now!" a third declared, and all three were holding juggling clubs.
By now, Ranko and Kenma were on the fence watching. Ranko was starting in on another bun, while Kenma had helped himself to some of the food prepared for Craft Services.
"What, did we miss the mummy cosplay party?" Ranko mumbled.
"Prepare to taste revenge!" shouted the leader, and as they readied their batons, they charged towards the dark-haired girl.
She simply reached into her bag, and pulled out a long ribbon. "Forgive me, it seems as though I've failed to convey my message…" she remarked.
The ponytailed diva then straightened her ribbon, and proceeded to whip the bandaged individuals roundly, as though she was some sort of crazed lion tamer. "This is what happens to fools like yourselves!" she declared, whipping them over and over. "I hope I've made myself quite clear."
Before she could bring the ribbon-whip in again, Ranko caught it just as it was making contact. "Alright, that's enough of that," she said. "I think that constitutes 2 minutes for unnecessary roughness."
The brunette raised a brow. "How did you see through my ribbon technique so easily…?" she queried. "You're no ordinary woman, are you?"
"...you could say that, yeah…" replied Ranko.
"Amusing…" murmured the girl, before she flipped up one of the clubs and grabbed it. "Still, I won't hold back. I show no mercy, even to fellow females!"
She began jabbing and jutting at Ranko, who easily backed up and dodged every dart and jab, then knocked the girl off her feet with a sweep-kick. Briefly caught off-guard by this, she did a cartwheel and got herself upright.
"I see you're much stronger than those fools…" the girl observed. "I am the black rose of St. Bacchus' Girls School," A quick gesture, and she made a black rose appear in her hand. "The name is Kodachi…and do try to remember it, would you?"
She tossed the rose over to Ranko, and then leapt away, over a fence, and onto a rooftop, laughing like a madwoman. "OHOHOHOHOHO~!"
Ranko stood there, glancing at the rose until the cries of pain from the mummified victims jolted her from her thoughts.
"In case you forgot, we've still got those three to deal with…or at least, figure out," replied Kenma.
"Oh, yeah!" realized Ranko, as she turned back and went over to the sobbing individuals.
"How could we lose to someone like her?"
"This is so unfair…!"
"Hey, quit whining and cryin'!" Ranko said, clearly taking a page from Genma's ideas on encouragement. "Remember—you're men!"
All at once, the individuals tore off their wrappings to reveal Ranma was wrong.
"How couldja think we're boys?!" the first one exclaimed.
"We're Furinkan High's rhythmic gymnastics team!" sobbed the second.
"We have a club, y'know!" the third wailed.
"Oh! These three girls are from our class…" realized Ranko.
SOME TIME LATER, BACK AT THE TENDO HOUSE…
"...so the entire team was wiped out?" asked Akane.
"We were taken by surprise!" sobbed Mayumi.
"By that 'Black Rose Kodachi'!" added Hiromi.
"Black Rose…?" asked Akane.
"She makes Boris Badenov look like Dudley Do-Right! There's no low she won't stoop to, no dirty trick she wouldn't pull!" added Umeko. "We had at least a week to get ready, but in our current condition, we'll have to withdraw!"
"So…you want me to fill in for you?" queried Akane.
"Please, Akane," begged Hiromi. "We've got no other options!"
"You see, the upcoming match is…" began Umeko.
"...Martial-Arts Rhythmic Gymnastics!" sobbed Mayumi.
Akane blinked. "I've…never heard of that before…" she replied.
"That does not sound real," Kenma chimed in.
"Oh, but it IS!" insisted Umeko, pulling out a large posterboard drawing. "It's when the school's champions in gymnastics compete against each other, using acrobatic techniques and tools!"
Akane and Ranko blinked, while Kenma just facepalmed.
"...copy that…" Akane murmured.
All three girls clutched Akane's hands. "You're the only person left who stands a fighting chance against her!" insisted Hiromi.
"Can't you see we're begging?" pleaded Mayumi.
Finally, Akane spoke up. "Alright…" she replied. "I don't think I understand it yet…but I'll do it. I'll clip her thorns and avenge every one of you!"
The girls sobbed tears of joy. "Oh, thank you, Akane!" they wailed.
AN HOUR LATER, IN THE DOJO…
"You shouldn't have agreed so quickly," chastised Ranma while Akane was warming up.
"Well, somebody has to put this "black rose" in her place," Akane replied as she adjusted her leotard. "And since all the other girls are out of commission, it might as well be me."
"Are you sure you aren't biting off more than you can chew?" Kenma inquired. "Besides…this is the first you've heard of this martial-arts rhythmic gymnastics stuff."
"Just watch," replied Akane. "I'll get the hang of it in no time."
"Okay, I'm watchin'," shrugged Ranma as he got comfortable.
First, Akane tossed a pair of clubs into the air, and jumped up with them…only to land empty-handed, and the clubs clattered to the floor beside her.
"Are you supposed to drop them like that?" asked Ranma.
Next, the tomboy tried using the ribbon, only to completely entangle herself.
"If the idea was to tie yourself up, then…congrats, I guess," Kenma shrugged.
"Shaddap!" hissed Akane.
Then she tried the hoop, tossing it skyward as she snagged it in midair. As she landed on the ground and tumbled, she ended up breaking it apart.
"...I didn't realize shattering the hoop was also involved…" Ranma noted.
"AAAAAARGH, THAT'S IT!" screamed Akane, frustrated as she angrily stomped on the floor and on the instruments. "I HATE THIS STUPID THING!"
"Yer real problem is a total lack of elegance, charm, or grace…" Ranma commented.
Akane rounded on him. "BLOW IT OUT YOUR ASS!" she roared. "I DON'T SEE YOU DOING ANYTHING TO HELP!"
Kenma glanced at his brother as Akane stormed off. "I know you don't like her…" he responded. "But is just insulting her doing any good?"
"Huh…I never thought of it like that." Ranma replied, releasing his error. What the hell is wrong with me?
"There's a saying I heard a few times—sounds American," Kenma said as he pulled a comic book over. "If you can't say anything nice, then don't say anything at all."
"So shouldn't that apply to you too?" asked Ranma.
"Yeah, but when I'm mean, it's to encourage her to be better; there's a purpose behind it," Kenma replied as he flipped through his comic. "When you do it, it just comes off as you grinding her self-image into the dirt for no reason."
"Geez, has nobody ever insulted her before?" asked Ranma. "Sounds like she could use a reality check."
"Maybe," Kenma responded. "But there's better ways to go about it."
"I couldn't agree more," said a voice from behind the two brothers, prompting them to turn around.
Standing in the dojo doorway was Ryoga, leaning against the frame.
"Heard someone was in need of coaching," he said, smirking at Kenma.
Kenma raised a brow at that, but shrugged it off. "Wait, you know that martial-arts rhythmic gymnastics stuff?" he asked.
"Last time I saw my mother, she got me up to speed," Ryoga replied as he headed over to Akane. "So just watch and learn, okay?"
"Thanks, Ryoga!" beamed the short-haired girl. "...is there any reason why you're doing this?"
Ryoga's face went flush. "W-well, I mean, any friend of Kenma's, I have no problem with helping!" he insisted, placing an arm around Kenma's shoulder.
"Whoa, dude, pump the brakes," replied Kenma. "First, let's see what you can do."
"Very well…take this ribbon, for starters," said Ryoga as he picked up the ribbon and twirled it in the air…then started lashing at Ranma with it, bombarding him from all sides!
Akane's eyes went wide. "Incredible!" she gasped.
"You son of a bitch...!" Ranma said under his breath as he stood up.
AND SO, A FEW HOURS LATER…
"Alright," Ryoga said, twirling the ribbon casually. "That's going to be enough for today's training."
Akane was panting heavily as she wiped sweat from her brow. "...thank you…for all your help…" she wheezed.
"Not a problem," replied Ryoga. "Your ribbon work was impressive. You'll improve in no time."
Akane's eyes sparkled. "Hey, you really mean it?" she asked.
"Congrats, Akane," Ranma replied. "You just bought another load of crap from Nerima's premier fertilizer salesman."
"And what have you been doing to help, anyway?!" Akane snapped.
Ryoga waved the boy off. "Don't let his childish taunts shake your composure, Akane," he insisted. "After all, perhaps he's just jealous."
"Jealous? Of Captain Lost?" Ranma snorted. "Don't flatter yourself!"
"Alright, both of you, knock it off," Kenma chastised. "Don't make me tattle on your sorry asses."
"What?! You'd tattle on your own brother?" Ranma replied, shocked.
Kenma shrugged. "I gotta remain impartial," he said. "I can't show favoritism, even if you are my favorite family member, which is a completely different category."
"Alright, I'll try not to make fun of Akane, anymore," the older Saotome brother relented. "No promises, though."
Kenma chuckled. "I wouldn't expect anything less," he replied.
Ryoga looked on, contemplative. Even if it's been a while, he hasn't changed that much, he thought. Still the same guy I met back in middle school…
HEY, KIDS! IT'S TIME FOR A FLASHBACK!
Ryoga was still seething over his lack of food, especially since Ranma had snapped up one of the last buns of the day.
Damn that Ranma, he fumed. Oh, how I loathe, despise, detest…what's another word for 'hate'?
He snapped his fingers in realization. Abhor! That's one! I abhor him!
"Hey, you good?" asked a voice, getting his attention. Nearby was a boy his age with scruffy mahogany-colored hair, clutching a pork bun.
Ryoga turned and saw him. "Maybe. What's it to you?" he asked.
"Well, you looked kind of hungry," said the boy. "Plus, I could hear your stomach growling."
"I don't suppose you'd be willing to share any of your food, would you?" Ryoga asked, sheepish.
"I wouldn't be holding it like this if I wasn't willing to share," the boy responded as he dropped the bun in Ryoga's hands.
Within seconds, Ryoga had immediately bitten into the bun. But when he tasted it, he nearly cried tears of joy. As though he hadn't eaten in years, he ripped into the pork bun and gobbled it down.
GOBBLE SMACK CHOMP NOM NOM NOM
The boy blinked. "Huh…I guess you really WERE hungry!" he commented.
"I don't think I could've made it another minute if you hadn't been so generous!" bawled Ryoga, clutching the boy's hand. "Oh, bless your kind heart!"
"It's not a problem, really!" the boy replied as he patted Ryoga, making him blush deeply.
"I've got to know your name!" begged Ryoga. "Please, tell me!"
"My name?" the boy shrugged. "I'm Kenma Saotome."
Saotome? Ryoga thought. The same name as that lousy Ranma…now THAT'S irony! Why does someone so nice have to be related to such a piece of crap?!
Well, who can say that the course of love in any regard ever ran smoothly?
"So…same time tomorrow?" Kenma asked.
Ryoga cleared his throat. "...yeah, I'd like that," he nodded.
NOW EXITING THE FLASHBACK. TAKE ALL BELONGINGS WITH YOU WHILE YOU LEAVE.
Of course, while Ryoga was flashbacking, he hadn't noticed he was headed into the koi pond.
KA-SPLOOSH!
Seconds later, Wilbur emerged from the water, shook himself off, and headed to Akane's room.
"So, plannin' to crawl into Akane's bed, eh?" Ranma called, tossing a rock at his head. The pig dodged, and scurried away, with Ranma following behind. "GET BACK HERE!" he shouted as he followed closely.
Up in her room, Akane flopped down on her bed. "God, I feel like I could sleep forever…" she groaned. But as she turned onto her back, she noticed she had company.
…specifically, one Kodachi the Black Rose, clinging to her ceiling.
"AKANE TENDO, THE TIME IS NOW!" she bellowed as she jumped off. "PREPARE TO MEET YOUR END!"
The short-haired girl just barely managed to dodge as Kodachi brought down her mallet on the bed, smashing it something fierce.
Akane landed on her feet and got into a combat stance. "Who th' hell are YOU?!" she snapped.
"I am from St. Bacchus School for Girls," Kodachi declared. "Black Rose Kodachi."
Akane's eyes widened. So this is the girl…
Of course, she had to think fast and dodge a swing from a mallet.
"I'm to be your opponent in the big match next week!" Kodachi exclaimed between swings. "But I've come to wish you well, and ensure we have a NICE, CLEAN FIGHT!"
Once more, Akane dodged being pancaked into the floor. "How is any of this a nice, clean fight?!" she screamed as she launched a kick that Kodachi darted past. "So it was you! You ambushed those girls from my school!"
"An ambush? How misleading…" Kodachi scoffed. "I believe in doing my best to secure a victory, even before the match begins!"
"Are you kidding?" asked Akane. "That's just underhanded and unfair!"
"Don't be silly, child," chortled Kodachi. "A match begins long before the bell rings."
Just then…
WHAMMOWSKI!
The door swung open and splattered Kodachi into the wall behind it as Wilbur bounced around like a coked-up pinball, followed by the Saotome Brothers in hot pursuit, bounding around Akane's room and knocking things over in their rampage.
Finally, both brothers pursued the pig out the door and into the hallway.
"Ranma, Kenma! Quit picking on Wilbur!" Akane called as she peered out.
And then suddenly, she whirled back around and kicked Kodachi's mallet from her hand, just as she was bringing it down.
"So, the rumors ARE true…" smirked Kodachi. "You are good, aren't you? Then maybe you won't be such a waste of time…"
Quickly, she drew out a ribbon and began to twirl it. "I'll be back," she declared, whirling the tool around as it kicked up a vortex of black rose petals.
"NOT IF I NAIL MY WINDOW SHUT!" Akane yelled, before noticing the swarm of rose petals.
Wait, is she just doing that for effect? She asked herself. Or are those…
And then she got her answer as a single black rose fell before her. When she looked around, she saw the petals were also real.
"So I've got to clean up her stupid mess?!" she fumed. "Next time I see her, she's fucking DEAD!"
UP ON THE ROOFTOP [CLICK, CLICK, CLICK]...
Kodachi was addressing the situation which had just occurred. So, this Akane Tendo is good…perhaps TOO good, she thought. No matter what, I must crush her before the match.
So as she ran off, she suddenly saw a blur of black darting between her legs.
"A pig?" she muttered, before turning back and seeing a silhouette jumping towards her.
"GET BACK HERE, RYOGA!" shouted Ranma, clutching a kettle.
Of course, he went a little too low, and…
KLONG!
Kodachi's eyes spun in her head. "No more peanuts for me, stewardess…" she babbled as she fell off the roof, a lump already forming on her head.
Quick as a shot, Ranma diverted from the pursuit, and jumped back down to grab Kodachi from the air, and sprang right back up with her in his arms.
"Hey…you okay?" he asked, shaking her lightly.
Of course, as soon as she regained consciousness, she noticed Ranma gazing back at her, and her face immediately went red.
He's…so handsome…
Ranma raised a brow. Now I know who she is…it's that Black Tulip lady! …or was it Petunia? Chrysanthemum? Iris?
Immediately, Kodachi reached out and latched around Ranma like a koala. "I WAS SO SCARED!" she whimpered.
"WAAAUGH!" Ranma shrieked. What IS this…?
From a distance, Kenma watched. OK, no denying it…this girl's bad news!
Going to a girls-only school resulted in such a drab, boring life…I had to channel everything into rhythmic gymnastics… thought Kodachi.
"I'D ALMOST GIVEN UP HOPE…ON KNOWING THE BEAUTIFUL TOUCH OF A MAN!" she exclaimed.
Who could have guessed that I'd have such a glorious encounter?!
"Please, sir…may I ask your name?" Kodachi inquired, completely missing the hint that Ranma was uncomfortable in any form.
"...Ranma Saotome…" the boy replied.
Immediately, Kodachi pulled forth a bouquet of black roses. "For you, Lord Ranma!" she declared.
As Ranma looked confusedly at the flowers, they exploded in a puff of black smoke, causing him to cough and collapse on the rooftop.
"Feeling stiff, are we?" Kodachi purred. "That'd be the paralysis powder I sprinkled the flowers with."
Ranma struggled to get himself upright. "Wh-what the hell didja do that for…?" he grunted.
And then, Kodachi pinned him to the roof. "Now, dearest Lord Ranma…" she smirked as she drew in closely. "Take heart…and seize these lips of mine!"
Ranma was sweating like a sprinkler, and his teeth were chattering like mad as she got closer.
"EY!" Kenma called, spraying her with one of his squirt guns, like she was a pissed-off cat. "Back off!"
Kodachi hissed, but that just got her sprayed with more water.
"NO! GET OUTTA HERE!" the mahogany-haired boy demanded. "Or next time I'll use a slingshot!"
Kodachi bristled. "Very well, then…" she grunted. "Fare thee well, Lord Ranma! Perhaps you shall see me in your dreams tonight, for I shall see you!" she called, before she bounded off over the rooftops, cackling her head off.
Kenma watched her go. "Two words: freak city," he commented before he turned his attention towards his brother. "You good, dude?"
"Paralyzed…!" Ranma answered. "Can't move!"
"Ah, that IS a problem," replied Kenma. "Well then…" he bent down and picked his brother up. "Up ya go! We're heading in!"
So both brothers climbed down and headed indoors.
"That Black Lily…man, she's one nasty piece of work…" grunted Ranma.
"I hear ya, dude," replied Kenma. "That's why when it comes to HER, you need to ALWAYS be on guard."
"...yeah…" Ranma grunted, feeling very on-edge after what had just happened.