Promise
Admitting that he needs help hurts a great deal more than he expected and seeing Lukas behind bars makes it all worse. His legs refuse to hold his weight any longer and send him crashing to the floor before he makes it halfway across the room. Every breath suddenly hurts as if he is breathing in ash and his eyes burn from pressing tears as the world crumbles to pieces around him. He wants to scream out his fury, to destroy something. Curse the king and curse the entire capitol, curse fate, and the gods for allowing the world to be this cruel.
"I am sorry," he hears whispered from across the room and he jolts aware again, with no idea of how long he has been curled up on the floor, like a useless pile of garbage. Lukas has stepped up the bars and looks at him with so much pity it makes Matthias sick to his stomach.
Lukas looks so small trapped behind the bars of his cage. He is no longer wearing his normal armor, but the tunic he is wearing underneath the cloak is obviously the same he wore earlier in the day, covered in dark splatters of dried blood. His hair is messy and stained with reddish brown as well, making Matthias think he must have been locked up immediately after the executions. His skin looks even paler than usual and there are dark bruises underneath his yes, as if he has not slept properly in days. One cheek, the one slapped by the king looks darks red, a stark contrast against his otherwise pale skin.
"It's not your fault," Matthias sighs, furiously wiping away the frustrated tears that managed to escape and make his skin itch. He staggers back on his feet, carefully approaching the cage, not wanting to startle Lukas, and not fully trusting his legs. "You did want me about the Rat King, and I knew already before that just how dangerous he is. I still made the choice to work with him though, and now it came back to bite me in the ass."
"What did he do?" Lukas asks, his voice turning sharper, more urgent. It looks like he wants to grab onto the bars, going so far as to lift his hands, but then dropping them lamely to his side just as quickly for some reason.
"He demanded a few favors to pay for our way in," Matthias replies quietly, struggling to get his voice back under control. "It was no more than I was willing to barter for and no less than I expected, some of our goals overlap enough that it was a win-win situation. I figured I could deal with owing him a favor for later, but when he realized there is a prize on my head, he changed the deal." Matthias' voice cracks harshly and he leans against the bars of the cell for support.
Lukas does not look surprised to hear that, only saddened. Matthias realizes he should have been better prepared for the Rat King to stab them in the back, but he was so wrapped up in the mission and seriously thought they would have more time to prepare. He feels like an utter idiot for it now.
"He took my friends hostage and he'll kill them unless I give him his own key to the district walls." Matthias leans his head against the bars. "You gave me a key once before, I figured if you did not have another one, you could at least tell me where I could get one."
Lukas gives him a sad grimace. "I did not give you that key to seek me out," he whispers and there is a quiver to his voice, betraying that there are far more emotions hidden than those revealed by his words. "I almost killed you!" His voice does crack then as well. "You saw what I did in the square today as well, what I did to all those people. I'm the last person you should want to seek out."
Matthias grabs onto the bars hard enough to make his knuckles turn white, glad to have something to hold on to when his entire body feels shaky. "You were not in control then," he says firmly.
"That does not make me innocent," Lukas whispers. "It was my hands that swung the sword and my hands that tried to choke the life from you and your friend both."
"That does not make you guilty either," Matthias tries to reason. "You didn't want to hurt us, you fought against your orders; I saw it, even if I did not appreciate your efforts at the time." He thinks back on the events in the back alley with regret, how he pushed Lukas away and left him. "You disobeyed orders again today, didn't you? Is that why you are in here?" He gestures towards the cells and the dark room.
"I do not know what came over me," Lukas sighs and looks away. "The King has not listened to my advice for several years, there was no reason he would start again now. I knew nothing good would come of speaking up, yet I did it anyways. You are right; he was rather angry with my display disobedience, especially as it was in public, and he had the guards throw me in here as punishment."
"I thought he preferred to add on more orders for you to follow when he got mad." Matthias tries to catch a look at any free skin on Lukas to see if there are additional markings. Not that there was a lot of free skin left for any new ones the last they saw each other that would make it hard to notice any new ones. He can barely see the ones creeping up Lukas' neck above the collar of his cloak, but they are faint now, not glowing harshly like they did that night in the streets. "I mean, with how fond the King seems to be for blood, it seems really tame to throw someone into a dungeon for a few hours."
Lukas turns quiet for a while, smiling sadly and still avoiding looking at Matthias directly. "One would think so," he says, and there is a strange tone to his voice that Matthias fails to recognize. "It is certainly not creative, but these bars are different from the ones of the other cells, do you not see it?"
Matthias instinctually let go of the bars he was clutching onto for dear life to stay upright. "Are they dangerous is some way?" he asks in horror, fearing the bars are coated in poison or maybe spelled, but Lukas never told him not to touch them and the slightly calmer part of his mind tells him that cannot be the case. He looks at the different bars, but after squinting, the only possible difference he can spot might be a variation in color, but he cannot really be sure.
"They pose no danger you," Lukas replies quietly. He steps up to the bars that he has been avoiding so far and wraps his fingers against one of them, immediately flinching as if the contact hurts. Then his entire arm starts shaking and he looks utterly exhausted in an instant.
Matthias cries out and moves in to grip Lukas' hand to pry it loose from the bars since he is obviously hurting himself, but Lukas is quicker and steps back and out of reach. He breathes harshly and holds up his palm where the skin now looks red and irritated.
"This particular cell has bars made from pure iron," Lukas says as he cradles his hand against himself, he stumbles a little over his words like he often does when he struggles to overcome specific orders to keeps secrets. "Little known fact is that iron is a natural magic-dampener. Creatures like me that have magic by nature will be trapped inside such a cage, unable to access their abilities. The iron taps me of energy, makes me practically useless." He sighs deeply. "It is exhausting, makes minutes feel like hours, and hours feel like days."
Matthias' mouth falls open, he cannot help it. That does explain why Lukas looks so tired at least and why the king would use the dungeons as a punishment.
"What the king tends to forget, however is that the iron also mutes these," Lukas pulls up one of his sleeves and shows of the markings which looks dull and faded on his skin where they sometimes are bright enough to shine through the fabric his clothes. "It is a relief to be in here sometimes, even if I am weak, if you can believe it."
Matthias clings to the bars again now that he is assured that they will not injure him in any way, wanting to be as close to Lukas as he can. "If the markings and your orders are dampened, does that mean you are in control?" A new flicker of hope catches flame in Matthias' chest.
Lukas huffs out a breath. "Don't know if I would call this control, but my mind is mostly my own for the time being."
"Then come over here," Matthias quickly says, reaching through the bars.
Lukas looks hesitant and even a little scared. "I don't want to hurt you again," he whispers, hiding his hands underneath his arms. "I have done enough damage as it is."
Matthias refuses to give up. "I trust you," he says, willing Lukas to understand just how true the words are."
"That kind of trust is madness," Lukas whispers, but his resolve is fading; Matthias can feel it in the strange bond between them.
"Just take my hand, Lukas," he pleads. "It'll be fine, I promise." It feels much like talking to a spooked animal, trying to keep his voice calm and his movement slow so he will not scare him off and tries his best to put on a reassuring smile.
Lukas very slow and hesitant unwinds his arms and lifts one within reach. Matthias grasps it with one of his own before Lukas has the time to change his minds, but he keeps his grasp gentle as if Lukas is something fragile that might shatter so he has the possibility to pull away should he really want to. Lukas' hand shake and when they touch, he seems to break down completely. He lets out a quiet sob and Matthias' heart breaks.
"Come here," Matthias pleads, desperately wanting to offer some comfort and pull ever so gently on Lukas' hand to make him move closer.
Lukas lets himself get pulled until he stands shaking before the bars, only centimeters away and wary of the metal. "I'm so sorry," he hays and there are tears streaking down his cheeks now.
Matthias presses his forehead against the bars, probably hard enough that they will make an imprint on his forehead. "I know you can't touch the iron," he says and his voice comes out thick as porridge as he fights to keep himself from crying as well, "but you can touch me, just lean against me." He offers up his hands to cradle Lukas' head, keeping his thumbs as a barrier against the metal. "Please."
To his great surprise, Lukas does as he asks and leans against his hands as close to the bars as he can, putting his trust in Matthias to keep him from touching them with his bare skin. Lukas uses the sleeve of his own tunic as barrier between his skin and the iron as he reaches through to grab a hold onto Matthias' shoulders, fingers digging into his flesh. Matthias combs the rest of his fingers through Lukas' hair, much as he can with his thumbs stuck in place, trying to ignore how some of the strands stick together from dried blood.
"I'm so sorry," Lukas whispers again and his words catch on his choppy breathing. "I'm sorry about hurting you, and your friend. She came out of nowhere and I lost control. I'm so sorry I placed this burden on you. I'm sorry I made you suffer." Matthias tries to shush him, but the floodgates are broken and Lukas sobs freely, having lost all semblance of control. "I ruin everything I touch."
They sink down to their knees, still clinging to each other as close as they can get. Lukas pressing his head so hard against Matthias' thumbs they turn slightly numb, but he ignores it, wanting to give Lukas every sliver of comfort he can offer with the circumstances. He wants to kiss away the tears that streak down Lukas' cheeks, but he cannot with the bars between them. Their noses almost touch, but not quite and the only thing they can do is breathe is other's air as if it's the only thing keeping them alive.
They sit like that for several long minutes. Matthias' legs have turned numb along with his hands, but Lukas' sobs finally ease up and let him breathe slower once more "I have been so selfish," Lukas whispers and his voice sounds wrecked; coarse as gravel. "When I first met you, I did not care about your fate, what consequences you might face. I took advantage of your bravery and your kind heart. I used you and now you face grave danger because of me and I can do nothing to help you."
"Don't say that," Matthias attempts to sound soothing but he has some serious doubts about his success, "because I do not regret it. There have been some shitty moments, I'll admit that, but I would never have gotten this far without you, neither would the rebellion. I would have died several times over if not for you and you put your own life in danger to save mine. You did not push me into the rat's nest or force me to make a deal with the Rat King."
"I might as well have," Lukas interrupts and his voice rises in volume "I could have found you a better way inside the city, done something." Matthias can feel his hands shaking again as he searches for new grip on Matthias' tunic, trying to push himself harder against the bars. "You were not supposed to get attached," he is crying again. "This war will never leave both of us alive."
Matthias slams his head against the bars and Lukas startles, looking at him with unshed tears clinging to his lashes. "Don't!" Mathias snaps a lot harsher than he intended but cannot stand the current track of conversation, realizing already where Lukas is headed. "We've been over this before and I stand my ground. I can't stand the thought of losing you; please don't speak as if you are already dead or think the world would be a better place without you in it, because I don't believe so."
"Matt," Lukas' voice is strained, but there is some measure of control back. "I cannot stand the thought of losing you either, but you have to face some facts and sooner the better." He takes a deep breath and keeps his eyes firmly trained on Matthias'. "The next time we meet I will not be behind bars, my orders will not be muted and I will most likely not be able to hold back if I see any of your friends and not even you no matter how much I want to stop. I will kill this entire rebellion when you are so close to your goal. It would be the smarter choice to kill me right now when you have the chance, when I am defenseless and cannot fight back. The life of one horrible man is not worth risking the future of thousands."
"I can't Lukas," Matthias feels his own tears pressing on, but they are angry as well as sad. He wishes he could tear down the bars down and bring Lukas away from the king and the entire damned capitol that hates him so much and makes him hate himself so. "You are stronger than you think, just don't give up and I promise, with all my heart; I will save you."
Matthias expects Lukas to prepare another argument for why none of his hope will be enough, but he does not get the chance to continue his speech.
The moment the last word leaves his mouth there is a sharp almost stabbing pain on the inside the wrist of his left arms and he hisses, yanking his arm back, shaking his hand on instinct, but carefully keeping his right one as a barrier between Lukas's head and the iron. He need not have worried for at the same exact time, Lukas snatches his own wrist back through the bars, cradling it against his chest as if it hurts and jumps back from the metal entirely.
There is pure shock and horror on Lukas's face as he pulls further away from the bars and out of reach. He yanks up the sleeve of his tunic and stares down at his arm, his mouth falling open and what little color in his face remained, drains away completely. His gaze switches to Matthias' arm and Matthias pulls up his own sleeve to reveal a strange marking on his skin going from his wrist and halfway up to his elbow. The markings are colored red, looking almost like a brand moving in a strange swirling pattern he can make no sense of but that looks eerily familiar at the same time. He shifts his own gaze to Lukas' arm where he sees a matching marking that intertwines with the blue markings that already covers most of his arm and the familiarity makes sense.
Lukas looks as if he is about to be sick. "What did you do?" he whispers sharply in disbelief. He rubs at his arm frantically, but the mark shows no sign of fading. He repeats himself, growing increasingly panicked with each repetition. "What did you do? This cannot be?" He looks around his cage, looking more trapped than before, searching for an escape that does not exist. He paces around his cage like a trapped animal, tearing at his own hair and staring at the marking like he still cannot believe what he is seeing.
Matthias looks at his own arm feeling lost. "I didn't do anything; how could I possibly when I don't know what this is." He shakes his arm with the strange markings in Lukas' direction. "If you want me to understand you need to explain to me what is going on first." The mark on his arm burns intensely and the pain settles in his bones, sharp enough to make his eyes water. There is an unsettled feeling in his stomach that somehow feels unfamiliar amongst his own swirling emotions, but he pushes the feeling aside, not really in a mind space to analyze it. He rubs at the brand, but it does nothing to ease the pain.
Finally, Lukas stops his pacing and looks at Matthias and for the first time since Matthias has known him, there is real fear on Lukas' face, pure and simple, and Lukas twists his arm, so the red mark is facing Matthias. "With my magic muted, I cannot tell for sure, but this sort of thing is only supposed to be a myth," Lukas snaps and his voice is bordering on shrill. "I've never heard of this sort of thing happening and it should not even be possible."
Matthias reaches through the bars again and catches hold of Lukas' cloak, pulling him back towards the bars so he can hold him firm by the shoulders. Trying to convey calm with his actions is practically an impossible task when they are both panicking for various reasons, but he makes an honest attempt. "Lukas, I know nothing about magic, I have no magic. I still don't understand what it is you think I did?"
"These marking appeared just after you made your promise." Lukas licks his lips, breathing raggedly and his words halts again.
"And?" Matthias prompts, running out of patience for bad news. "It's just a promise, I've said the same thing before, and I meant it just as much then as I do now and nothing similar happened then.
"How many times have you made the same promise?" Lukas' hands climb to Matthias' face then, careless of the iron bars in his way, and hisses when the iron brushes against his skin. He cradles Matthias' face just a little too hard and forces their eyes to lock and there is panic in his entire being.
Matthias does his best to remember, sensing the urgency. "I didn't count; it's just words, why does it even matter?" He is growing increasingly frustrated and confused, he takes a hold of Lukas again to make sure he does not touch the bars more than he needs to.
"There is a legend," Lukas almost whispers and his hands are shaking against Matthias' skin. He licks his lips again as if searching for the right words. "For you it might not be familiar, but among many non-human creatures, fae, vette or otherwise, words are known to hold a certain amount of power and some creatures out there are so bound to their words that they can speak nothing but truth. Words from a human do not usually hold much power, except for when they are spoken from the heart and with true intention, usually in numbers of three, for humans are fickle creatures a single promise is not enough to bind them to it."
Matthias finally begins to see where Lukas is headed with his hints and memories of his own promises washes over him. The first one feels like a lifetime ago when Lukas was held prisoner by the rebels. On the plains before the mountain crossing, he made a promise to save Lukas' brother. In the dreamscape, he made a second promise to save Lukas, and the mark stings and heat floods through his veins from his arm, reminding him firmly of the third and seemingly final promise needed to bind him to his words.
Lukas breathes deeply, his fingers tracing idly against Matthias skin and then he whispers.
Make a promise time three
Bound by magic you'll be
Once the fates all agree
Only then you'll be free
"I never believed those words," Lukas murmurs, "but these symbols on our arms are definitely those of a binding." Lukas moves his hand from Matthias' face to cradle his marked arm and traces the markings with his fingertips, making Matthias shiver. "This explains why there is a connection between us and why it seems to have grown stronger of late, most likely after you've made your promises with such intention. It is why we can feel each other's presence and have done so since you entered the city; it must be after your second promise was made in the dreamscape, I remember that one."
Matthias instantly feels cold and incredibly guilty. All he ever wanted to do was free Lukas from his bindings, and now he placed another tie on him instead and he does not understand to what extent it will affect either of them. "What does it mean?" he croaks, the words sticking to his throat.
"You promised to save me," Lukas whispers, and then his face crumbles. "Your fate is bound to mine. The verse says it all. Until you fulfill your promise such as you formulated it, you have a magical bond that will keep you from breaking your word." Lukas gasps for air, his chest heaving, and his fingers dig bruises into Matthias' arm around the mark. "What the verse does not tell you is that if you break your promise or fail, the binding will take your life as punishment."
Luka's gaze grows distant. "I have doomed you," he whispers hollowly.
A heavy silence falls upon them and Matthias feels cold a sense of bottomless misery, wonders if it belongs to him or to Lukas, since the bond seems to make them more aware of each other's state of mind as well as their location. A part of him is relieved that Lukas will no longer ask for Matthias to end his life to make the rebellion go smoother, but the realization is also setting over him that there is an even stronger change he might lose his life before the war ends. He is not ignorant enough to believe that everyone he knows, and cares about will come out the other end unscathed, but he is not willing to give up fighting either.
"I have every intention of keeping my promise," Matthias says firmly. "If I fail, then it will not be because I'm giving up, that is for sure. I will fight until I no longer can. You are alright with dying, well, so am I." As he speaks, he realizes just how much he means every single word. The brand on his arm pulses warmly and Lukas shudders at the same as if he senses the same thing, and Matthias pauses. "Did you feel that?" He gestures towards his arm that Lukas is still refusing to let go of.
"The bond might keep us connected," Lukas says thoughtfully, keeping his eyes downcast. "I don't know to what degree, as I said, I thought it was a myth and one I did not put much stock in." He curses; at least that is what Matthias assumes he does, because he cannot recognize the words. "If the king realizes we are bonded, he can use me to track you. I don't know if I can keep this from him."
"You will just have to try," Matthias says stubbornly. "It is too late for me to take my words back, and even if I could, I would not."
Lukas wipes away a few tears. "I would call you an idiot," he says weakly, "but it seems cruel when you are everybody's greatest hope."
Matthias wishes he could laugh at the weak attempt of a joke, but the situation is just too dire, and he only manages to produce a grimace where he would usually grin and make a joke of his own to lighten the mood, even if it were to be at his own expense. He realizes he has not been that person in a long time and wonder if he will ever regain that part of himself.
"I got this far," he says thickly, and his thought turn back to his friends depending on him and his stomach churns guiltily. He has not spent that much time in the cells, but every minute counts and he is no closer to a solution. "I'm just a little stuck right now. I don't know what to do, I need to get a key first and I need to find a way to get the Rat King off my back."
Lukas breathes deeply, trapped in thought. "I don't know how to help you," he says. "I am useless while I am stuck in here, and even if I were free, there is no trusting me. I don't know how much control I will be able to keep once the iron is gone."
"I trust you," Matthias says. "You will do your best, and that is all I can ask for." He does not want to make Lukas feel guilty for something for something he cannot control. "Do you maybe know where I can find more of the black powder then? I need it. I don't want the Rat King to have it, but it is my only bargaining chip, and I can't think of anything else to offer him instead that will appease him. He will keep demanding more from me and can't get ahead of him when he is already three steps ahead of me to begin with."
"I would get rid of him, but he has avoided the guards for years," Lukas says. "The King considers the rats more a nuisance than a threat; he does not feel endangered by a self-proclaimed ruler of beggars and have not seen the need to send me after them. If we take down the current ruler of the slums, another will rise to take his place, which is just how things work in the underworld. As long as they keep to the outer district, we allow them to live." Lukas makes his face apparently regretting the decision to have let the Rat King remain alive for so long.
"Nothing to do about that now," Matthias says quietly. "I will deal with him when I get the chance, don't worry about it."
Lukas sighs. "Regarding the black powder, I don't know if they have moved it after you blew up the first storage, fearing their locations is compromised. There were three more, one in each quarter of the guard district all in similar locations." He then stops talking, head snapping to attention. "Do you hear that?" he whispers, and his entire body tenses, as he tilts his head, listening for something.
Matthias turns but hears nothing but their breathing and his own increasing heartbeat, he shakes his head slowly.
"Somebody is coming, and you cannot be seen here!" Lukas says desperately.
"I don't want to leave you," Matthias whispers back, clutching his hands in Lukas' clothing.
"You must go, you know that." Lukas insists. "You need to save your friends, so you can save the rest of us." He pushes against Matthias to get away.
Matthias presses his face against the bars again instead. "I'll be back for you when I can."
"I know. Lukas pulls his hands back but uses the sleeves of his tunic as a barrier and presses his own face against the bars, just close enough that their lips touch in the gentles of kisses. "Now please leave. If you really need this key, then most of the guards keep one keys and they are careless about them within the district thinking that they are safe on this side of the wall, try the barracks, the buildings with the most windows closest to the wall. And by the Gods, be careful."
Now Matthias hears the approaching footsteps as well, his hearing apparently far inferior to Lukas', judging by how much time it took for him to notice. He steps away from the bars, ignoring how the mark burns in protest, seeming to tell him that leaving is wrong, but he knows he needs to go unless he wants to end up in a cell of his own or worse.
Lukas steps further back into his cage into the darkest corner. He draws the sleeves on his tunic carefully down to cover the red mark on his arm and pulls the hood over his head, curling in on himself and he looks small again, a shadow of the powerful soldier Matthias knows he is. Like this, he appears much like the meek prisoner the approaching person will expect to see, drawing less attention.
Matthias turns back the same way he came from, shuddering as he walks through the torture chamber and tries to avoid looking at most of the equipment he noticed the first time. He heads down the hallway towards the door to the outside, but there is a nagging sense at the back of his neck that tells him there is so much more he could learn in the castle, but he does not have the time.
He is going to need every hour he has available to search through the barracks.
He curses quietly as he walks hastily down the hallway he came from, but when he returns to the room with the door leading outside, he freeze in his tracks
Right in front of the door, there is a guard who turns at the sound of footsteps and before Matthias has the time to back out of the room, their eyes meet.