Chapter 1

They were all sitting and enjoying the fire. Clarke was sipping on the tea that Echo had made. It was warm and soothing.

"So, why do you feel that you need to tell us this story?" Luna asked.

Clarke looked up at her and smiled. Her wild auburn hair was very windblown from their ride earlier. Her eyes were dancing with mirth. Clarke could tell that, while Luna like to seem aloof, she really wasn't. She wanted to know more about her niron Onya. For Luna, it was a natural curiosity. She wasn't going to fault either of them for having a relationship in one of Clarke's former lives. She couldn't. It was obvious that she was there for either of them, so the face that they might have found solace with each other made her happy. Clarke knew that Luna meant well, too. She wasn't trying to stir up anything between them. This was just another way for them to learn more about Clarke and what she'd been through as Wanheda to get where they were now. Clarke chuckled slightly and smiled bigger.

"What?" Raven questioned.

"Sometimes you are so predictable, Rae," Clarke answered. "But, don't worry. I still love you. I always will...as a sister and friend, confidant and the best damn mechanic in the world. You, Raven, are the Commander of Boom. That will never change in any lifetime. Trust me on that."

They all laughed. Clarke moved a little closer to Lexa. She wasn't sure if it was because she needed the comfort or if she just needed to feel her against her body somehow. Clarke was really touchy-feely with Lexa when they were alone, and this was no exception. No one seemed to mind it, especially Lexa. Heda just moved her arms to allow Clarke a better angle for her snuggles.

"I don't know where to really start with this one. It starts off bad, gets worse, and then takes a quick and surprising turn. Looking back on this life now, it is amazing that I didn't see what was happening sooner. But, then again, we'd just escaped the Mountain together. You'll just have to forgive us for being a little traumatized, run down, and honestly, acting out of pocket. In my defense, it was also...my third life. I was still learning...a lot," Clarke told them.

"Start from where you feel comfortable, Clarke. Don't force it. We're here for you," Echo told her.

"I know, but that wasn't always the case," Clarke replied.

"What happened?" Luna questioned, the worry in her eyes very evident.

"In most of my lives, except this one, the Hundred were seen as a threat and nuisance. In hindsight, we were acting like children, so that thought wasn't far off. Like this life, the Hundred were sent down to pave the way for the others. The biggest difference was that we were all criminal children and we were expendable," Clarke started.

"That cannot be good for your adults," Anya stated.

"It became a point of contention between the Hundred and the Arkers when they got down here. Most of the time, it wasn't seen as good by Trikru either, but that is a completely different story," Clarke answered. "As usual, Lexa sent Anya to watch us. Lincoln was taking numbers and sketches. He fell for Octavia, and tried to help us a little through her. Didn't work. Things happened and I asked Lincoln to meet with the leader that was attacking us. Lincoln secured a meeting with Anya. It was always the first time that we would meet, but it was already too late."

"Why is that?" Anya asked.

"Because you'd already made up your mind about it. You saw us a goufa, but you didn't see any redemption in us. You wanted to tell Lexa to kill us all. We were trespassers. I understood it, later, when I thought about it. We had come down from the stars and acted like we owned the world. We didn't. But, we honestly didn't know, well, mostly didn't know that there were people that had survived. A lot of the adults that sent us down thought we would die. Some of us did, but that was because we were woefully unprepared to survive here. Space is not like the Earth," Clarke answered.

"And, you were outsiders," Lexa added.

"Yes, we were the enemy. It didn't matter that we were untrained children. We were scaring off game, playing too close to the Mountain, and we'd sort of tortured Lincoln. We hadn't made a great impression, so I understood Anya's ire. With all of that though, she managed to agree to a meeting," Clarke told them. "Needless to say that it didn't go well. One of our more..."

"Just say that he was immature, Clarke. It's okay. He is," Octavia said as she came in, grabbed a mug of tea and sat in the chair beside Echo.

"Well, it started a war between the two. Anya did everything that she could to wipe us out, but it wasn't fast enough. Lexa was furious, so she sent Tristan to finish the job and he took over. Anya was pissed now on two levels and she saw me as a thorn in her side, something that she needed to either kill or drag to back to Lexa in penance. This thought didn't change for a few weeks," Clarke added. "That sounds like something that Lexa would do," Anya replied. "But, it would depend on the severity of the offenses."

"I'm not saying that is was justified. It was for somethings, but not all of us were guilty. I wanted to find a way for us to live together, but no one would listen to me. Unfortunately, Bellamy thought he knew better and armed everyone. Tristan attacked before we could flee with Lincoln to Floukru."

"He was going to bring you to me?" Luna questioned.

"He thought that you might give us sanctuary and help us learn to be better. You've seen us, Luna. Besides Raven, Aurora and Bellamy, we are all under eighteen years, children to our society. Most of us were still in school and trying to decide what we were going to do on the Ark for our job. I'd been studying and working with Mom in the med bay for so long that is was generally just assumed that I would take over when it was time. I was also the youngest protégé that she'd ever had. She said I had promising hands to be a surgeon and deal with trauma. I didn't know how right she was at the time," Clarke told them. "But, I'm glad that she has Jackson."

"Me too," Octavia said, but gave no reason, even when Clarke looked to her for one.

"We retreated into the dropship. Raven was hurt but she knew that we still had enough fuel for a sustained control burn. It wouldn't lift us off the ground, but it would kill anyone within a certain radius of the dropship when it was fired. She told me what to do and what wires to fix to make it happen. As soon as it was completed, I gave the order to fire the engine," Clarke lamented.

"The infamous Ring of Fire," Echo said.

"Yes, it was. I was the reason that 300 of Lexa's warriors were burnt to ash. Anya survived, because she jumped into the dropship as we were closing the door to hide. When we decided that enough time had passed, we opened the door and started to exit," Clarke paused to sip her tea. "Unfortunately, the Mountain Men were waiting with trucks and their red gas that put us to sleep. We were all gathered up. Anya was taken with me. Tristan survived the Ring of Fire and captured a few. Lincoln and some of the Arkers, who just landed, managed to kill him and save those that hadn't been in the dropship with us. They found Raven only because the Mountain Men deemed her injuries too severe for them to even bother taking her. She would be a waste of their resources, even though they could have used her blood. I was glad to know that she wasn't captured."

"What happened next?" Anya questioned, now fully invested in the story.

"I awoke in the Mountain. Quickly, I realized that they couldn't be trusted, but my people, now numbered somewhere around 50, had told them that I was our leader. So, Dante, their leader, was trying to court me after a fashion in hopes that we would just donate our blood to help them. He never got the chance, though. I realized that being in the Mount Weather was not where I needed to be. Plus the man just couldn't stop lying to me about simple stuff," Clarke explained.

"Like what?" Raven asked.

"He told me that Anya was dead. That he'd freed us from worrying about her. I was worried about her, though. As much as she hated me, I knew that she was honorable. She would listen to me and take me to her leaders if she'd captured me. She was strong woman, so I couldn't believe that she'd died from their smoke. It just didn't make sense. And, then I started to notice things."

"Is this when everyone turned on you?" Octavia inquired.

"Yeah, but I understood it. I sounded like a crazy person. Plus, as Jasper liked to remind me, they had chocolate cake and Maya. He was happy, safe, and not being hunted. I couldn't fault them for it, once I realized things from their point-of-view. It was hard, though. I knew that I had to find proof. So, I injured myself to get back into medical so I could look around and find some," Clarke explained. "Took about fifteen stitches in my arm to get the information that I needed and wanted, though."

"Then what happened after they stitched you up?" Echo asked her.

"They told those left of the 100 that I was being held on a psyche hold," Clarke replied and then realized that they didn't understand what she'd said, so she explained further. "It means that they held me in medical to keep me safe from myself and others. I think that they could tell that the wound was self-inflicted and wanted to make sure that I didn't convince more people to rise up against them. He needed them to remain docile and happy so they could use their blood as a cure for their inability to process radiation like we all can."

"So, what did you find?" Lexa questioned.

"I found Anya," Clarke answered. "She was in a cage, cramped, and wrapped in basically nothing more than medical rags. My heart broke. I couldn't believe that someone like Anya would be reduced to such measures. I knew then that I had to get out of the Mountain, and I had to find a way to get her out as well. I wouldn't leave her behind. I couldn't. It wasn't right. I knew that there was a risk in helping her, but I figured that she would take me to her leader to talk. I was still hoping to make peace with the Grounders, and I saw her as an avenue. I knew that she was still stronger than me and would more than likely overpower me when we were free, but I knew that with your manpower and our tech we could bring down the Mountain."

"That sounds like a good plan," Lexa stated. "But, I can tell that something changed in this life. What was it?"

"It did," Clarke answered.

She sat back, against Lexa more. She sipped her tea. She looked over at Echo, who was up and out of her chair and across the room. She came back and refilled Clarke's cup. Echo replaced the teapot and returned to her chair. Clarke sipped some more.

"I guess that is where our story should really start. I knew that I had to get Anya out no matter what happened to me, I needed her to get back to Lexa, even though I wasn't supposed to know who Lexa was. I knew how much Anya meant to you, and I knew that she would help you see reason. I could only hope that I survived the escape and you didn't kill me. I also didn't want to have to give you Anya's braid again. I couldn't do that, especially if I could save her."

"Clarke?" Echo interrupted her.

"Hmm?"

"Did you ever see me again? In the cages, when you broke in? Did you see me there?" Echo asked her.

"No, I didn't. You must have been further down or in another row. There were just so many. But, you have to trust that if I had, I would have rescued you as well. It would have taken me longer to convince you, especially then, because I hadn't tainted your blood with my own, and you were still very much supportive of Azgeda and Nia," Clarke told her, but she reached across the expanse and took her hand. "I know what happened to you, and I'm sorry that you still remember. We're going to get them out, Echo. I swear it."

"We will. We are going to save them, Echo. And, I will let you lead the charge, if you wish. I know that you have suffered under them, even if it was not in this life. They have injured you and you are owed blood for it," Lexa stated and they all knew it was true. "I will allow you to make the final cuts on one of the three leaders we take. Anya will get another, and I will take the last."

"Will you not allow Clarke her vengeance?" Octavia questioned.

"I don't want it. Lexa knows that. They haven't wronged me in this life, O. But, you are right, out of any of us, I have suffered the most. The people need to see their vengeance enacted by their people and not ours. I will give them that, but I also need everyone to see our mercy for those who are as innocent as they can be because of their leaders. Would you have me kill Maya just because she is a Mountain Man?" Clarke asked her.

"No, because she always helps. She was part of the resistance inside, too. She has always been on our side. She fed the caged Grounders and tried to help them heal as best as she could in between bleedings. So, no, I wouldn't punish her," Octavia answered.

"Neither would I," Clarke added. "They have not taken our people and bled them for our blood. We will have suffered only in entertaining them in this life. Do you think that they people will understand why they are all being put to death? Do you think they will care or understand? No, they won't. Even now, we will have to play it carefully."

"I know," Octavia replied. "I'm sorry. I just hate politics."

"That is why you are a warrior, O and not me," Clarke teased her. "You remind me of Anya sometimes with your hot head and destroy them all attitude. It is useful, trust me, but it isn't always necessary."

"I know."

"I still love you, though, O."

"I love you, too, Clarke," Octavia said.

"So, you broke Anya out?" Luna asked, trying to get them back on topic.

Clarke gave her a silent nod of thanks. She was grateful that Luna hated bloodshed as much as she did. Luna hated war because she was good at it. She'd been groomed since birth to be the ultimate warrior. Clarke hated it because she was a medical person. Her motto, thanks to Galen and others, was harm none. It was another reason that she was Wanheda. She was glad to have Luna on her side. They were both somewhat pacifists when it came to punishment, but they also both understood that capital punishment was necessary.

"So, that is where I guess I story should really begin. Anya had been caught. I knew I wouldn't leave her behind. I couldn't. But, while I was in that room with all the cages, developing a plan to find Lexa and let her know what was going on, I finally realized what they were doing to the Grounders in the cages. I was alone in the medical wing. I broke back into the room and tried to find a way out. It was hard because they were bleeding someone when I got back in there," Clarke started. "Anya wanted to fight me on leaving. She thought that I was just going to get her out to kill her. It took a few too many minutes, but she finally realized that I was going to get us both out of there. I wanted her to take me to Lexa. I was dehydrated, tired, in pain, and completely shocked at the scenes before me. I couldn't let that stop us."

"So, what did you do?" Echo questioned.

"I found a bar. Just a really long, thin piece of heavy metal. It must have broken off of something, but it didn't matter. What mattered was that it fit between the lock, so I could pry it open. So, I did. I helped Anya out of the cage. She's hurting, in pain, and her muscles had to be on fire. She'd been cramped in there probably since we were taken with no clue how long we'd been inside the Mountain. She had to guess that Lexa had already been told that she was dead along with all of Tristan's people. That didn't matter to me, we had to go and we had to go now.

"I was getting Anya to stand and look over the wounds that she had when a guard came in. She fought him long enough for me to get his gun and shoot him. How the sound didn't make more come, I'm not sure, but it gave us the motivation to get the hell out of there. We moved along the room and found the trash chute. Unfortunately that dumped us into the feeding area of the Reapers. Thankfully they were mostly out of the caves and tunnels at that time. We found some old clothing and put it on. Before we could get completely out of the Mountain, an alarm went off. They knew we were missing," Clarke told them.

"They were hunting you through the tunnels, right?" Octavia inquired.

"Yeah, they were. I had the gun, but I knew that Anya wouldn't take it. She ran off, though, leaving me behind. Can't say that I really blame her. She was determined to get out of the Mountain now that she was free from her cage. I wasn't part of her plan yet. I wasn't necessary. Her wounds and tales might be enough to persuade Lexa. I knew this. I accepted it. But, then I was cornered in a tunnel that ran out the Philpot Dam spillway. There was little water in it, but the spill way dumped into a lake-sized pool below. I couldn't swim. We didn't have water on the Ark.

"But, I realized at that moment that I had a choice. I could either die in that tunnel and be fed to the Reapers, or I could take my chance in the water. Thankfully, Anya decided to take that moment to come back. She killed the men that were trapping me. But, by that time, more had followed. Now, we were both standing at the edge of the spillway with only the lake as a route to our salvation. Anya didn't even think twice. She jumped.

"I watched her go, my heart sinking as she got closer and closer to the water. I saw the splash, but I never saw her get out. The guards had taken back my attention. They were slowly coming at me, like one does to a caged or wounded animal," Clarke explained and watched as Luna, Octavia, and Echo all nodded. "I was near enough the edge that I could jump, but my mind was telling me to wait, find another way.

"Finally, they were too close. I either had to jump or become a blood bag. I knew that Dante couldn't afford to let me get back with my people. I would turn them against the Mountain and they would lose their new cure. As they kept coming, I prayed. I didn't really believe in any higher powers, but I didn't know if Anya was going to wait for me like she had in the other lives. I couldn't wait anymore, though. I summoned all my strength and daring. I ran straight at the guards and then turned before they could grab me and ran right out of the edge of the tunnel, jumping at the very last second out of the spillway.

"It was the closest I've ever been to a spacewalk," Clarke said with a smile, as Raven chuckled. "It felt like I was falling forever. And, then I hit the water hard. It hurt. That is something that they never told us the in the movies. Yeah, water will break your fall, but it'll still hurt hitting it."

"What happened after that?"

"I drowned."