I've been sick, and this has not been edited. I apologize for mistakes and inconsistencies.
Raven played with her hands as she sat stiffly on Richard and Barbara's couch. The latter glared at her from the kitchen, eyeing her Gotham Prep uniform. Raven wanted to return Barbara's harsh stare, but Raven wasn't trying to perpetuate the hostile environment. "Okay," Richard said, hustling back down the hallway. "Jon is now asleep, and - seriously, Barbara?" he eyed the redhead disappointedly.
"You come traipsing in here with some stranger – "
"Raven."
"So she says," Barbara argues.
"Barbara, I vetted her," Richard frowned. And he had…for the last hour. Of course, Richard didn't believe Raven was the real Raven, and Raven expected that. She hadn't expected to answer almost 275 questions about the past, about herself. Raven was pretty sure Richard knew new things about her she'd never told him. "This is Raven."
"I'm supposed to believe her."
"You're supposed to believe me," Richard said.
Barbara snapped her mouth shut and looked a bit guilty. "I just…don't want you to get hurt. I remember how broken you were…and then Wally died…
"I know," Richard relaxed his shoulders and looked at Barbara lovingly. "I know. But trust me, this is her…or a scarily good clone. If that is the case, we should be very worried."
"I'm not a clone," Raven finally spoke.
"Well," Barbara said, maintaining her distance, "how are you…alive?"
"And how are you still a teen?" Richard asked.
"From what I've learned from Azarath, a cult summoned my soul. My body was still forming and growing around it when the process was interrupted by the Team attacked."
"It would be a cult," Barbara said not unkindly.
"The Team? What's The Team?" Richard asked.
"Oh," Raven felt herself smile. "It's that world's version of the Titans."
"They call themselves The Team?"
"There's about 96 members," Raven continued to explain.
"Wow," Richard said, raising his eyebrows in amazement.
"Batman is the commander."
"Batman?" Richard and Barbara repeated simultaneously.
"Yeah. It took a while for me to get used to it," Raven said.
"So, the Justice League is working with you guys?" Barbara asked, slowly coming around to the idea that this may be the real Raven.
"Yeah," Raven scoffed. "I still can't believe it. Bruce even got me into Gotham Prep," Raven motioned to her uniform. She bit her lip nervously. "Are they still on your case or did my death help alleviate tensions?"
"It helped alleviate tensions big time," Barbara replied, and Richard gave her a hard look. "What? She asked."
"We're…civil," Richard said.
"And…how's your relationship with Bruce?" Raven asked nervously.
"It has improved immensely," Richard breathed.
"Having two grandchildren really mellowed him out," Barbara said.
"You have two kids?" Raven looked at Richard in surprise.
"No," Barbara answered quickly.
"Kori and I have a daughter," Richard said, and Raven was surprised when the atmosphere didn't become uncomfortable. "We found out Kori was pregnant a few weeks after your funeral. She spends every other year with me. Right now, she's on Tamaran with Kori."
"Oh. I was surprised when you said you married Barbara," Raven said, and Richard blushed.
"I was surprised when he asked," Barbara muttered, "I was even more surprised when he set an actual date. I half-expected him to call off the wedding."
"I am not a flake," Richard said, his blush growing.
"Commitment-phobe," Raven and Barbara said.
"Whatever. It's not just the grandkids, he's also adopted—"
"Tim and Cassandra," Raven interrupted. Richard and Barbara gave her shocked looks. "I met them in the other universe," Raven explained.
"Really?" Barbara asked.
"What's Tim like?" Richard said. "Is he still a scrawny genius with muscles you are shocked to see when he takes his shirt off?"
Raven blushed. "Um…he's going on 21 years-old."
"What!"
"So…how old are we?" Barbara asked curiously.
"Well, Richard just turned 14, and Barbara, I think you're going on 15."
"Wait," Richard shook his head, "Tim is older than us."
"Yep," Raven smiled. "He's actually one of the leaders of The Team."
"Garfield, Victor, Karen, Donna, Wally—what about them?"
"Garfield is also 14; Victor is in the Justice League; I've seen Karen in passing, but we've never spoken to each other. If Donna exists in that universe, I haven't met her. And Wally had been deceased for about a year before my arrival." A solemn silence took hold.
"So," Richard said, "I'm assuming I'm a vigilante?"
"You are, but Bruce wouldn't let you out in the field until you turned 13. Even now, he doesn't let you do too much. Um…I haven't seen Jason, and Tim hasn't mentioned him, but I'm assuming the same thing happened to him there as it did here."
"And me?" Barbara asked unsurely.
"You're not really interested in becoming a vigilante," Raven said.
"What?" Barbara raised a brow.
"It's true. You know Richard is Robin and everything else, but you have no interest in dressing in neoprene and spandex."
"Do I at least have some sort of martial art skill?"
"You do. You go to competitions and everything, but…your interest lies in computers."
"Then who is Batgirl? Is there a Batgirl?"
"Yep. A college girl named Stephanie Brown."
Both Richard and Barbara sputtered and stuttered. "Stephanie?" Barbara questioned.
"She got accepted into college?" Richard muttered.
"She's the first Batgirl?" Barbara looked offended. "That doesn't even sound right. Don't get me wrong. I love Stephanie like a sister, but…how am I not interested in being Batgirl? What's wrong with me?"
"Babs," Richard smiled.
"It's not right."
"Well, I'm sure you didn't come here to talk about how backwards everything is on that Earth," Richard turned his attention back to Raven. "You never answered my question as to why you're here? You told me you've been alive for a little over a year now. Why did you wait so long? Why didn't you come back to…to us?"
"I didn't know how," Raven's shoulders slumped. "I was going to, but my mother told me I had been dead for nearly a decade and I…I didn't know what to do. She told me this was a second chance to experience life free of Trigon. I did…visit a couple of times, when the Team thought I was on Azarath." Richard and Barbara listened intently. "I visited the Flash Museum, and read about what happened to Wallace," Raven whispered. "I didn't know where Kori or Lilith were. The ones I was closest to were gone. And you were with Barbara here, settled down. I didn't want to shake things up. I thought…I thought it best to stay dead. As to why I came back—something…happened; and I won't be able to properly address it if I don't speak to you."
"Okay?" The next words out of Raven's mouth shook Richard to his core.
"Why did you say I was manipulating your emotions when I confessed? And how did you know?"
"So...Raven is on Azarath?" Red Robin repeated slowly as Constantine stood before him and his teammates, casually lighting a cigarette. Chaos had erupted yet again, and Raven had been absent for the last 12 hours.
"Aye?" Constantine took a long drag.
"Is everything okay?" Red Robin asked, eyeing Constantine's cigarette with annoyance.
"Nothing our demon girl can't handle."
"And your sentient house said not to contact her unless it's an emergency?"
"House of Mystery's got a mind of its own, mate. And right now, it's saying leave the dark bird be," Constantine flicked ash onto Batman's boots with a slight smirk. "Nothing? Really?" Constantine said when Batman didn't react. "But…yeah. More or less of what you said," he pointed to Wonder Girl.
"More more or more less?" Wonder Girl asked.
"Listen, pet, when you've just banished a level 7 daemon back to the bloody pit it crawled from - by yourself, mind you - you'll understand why the finer details get a bit fuzzy during the celebration." He patted his jacket pocket where a flask clinked. "Still nursing that hangover, if we're being honest."
Batman's glare could have frozen hell and Constantine, if Constantine was paying attention. "And you couldn't have told me this as soon as you received word that Raven left?"
"Must've slipped my mind somewhere between the exorcism and the whiskey," Constantine said cheekily. "Besides, 'ow was I supposed to know the Chaos Lords called Raven out on the telly? I was in the middle of an exorcism." Constantine looked at the multiple screens. "Someone big, not on any of our radars, is behind all this. Old Nabu's got his golden knickers in a twist trying to arrange this meeting to find out who."
"Then...what do we do?" Beast Boy asked. "What about Raven?"
"We help in any way possible, while the Lords of Order and Chaos meet," Batman answered. "Hopefully, we can keep the body count low and keep Raven out of this until some sort of agreement is reached."
"Right then," Constantine flicked his spent cigarette and immediately lit another, his expression darkening with genuine concern. "I'll be off to prepare for the magical equivalent of a nuclear summit. With any luck, they won't rip reality apart arguing over who gets to sit at the head of the table. Bastards, all of 'em."
Richard sat, stunned at Raven's question. Raven wasn't sure if she'd spoken clearly, so she decided to repeat herself. "Why did you—"
"No, no," Richard stopped her, pinching the bridge of his nose, "I understood you. I just…"
"Why don't I give you two some privacy," Barbara shot her husband what Raven considered to be a knowing smirk.
"Thanks," Richard said.
"No problem," she smiled, leaving the room.
"You two have had this conversation before," Raven stated.
"Yeah, and It was uncomfortable."
"Why?" Raven asked.
"Because…" Richard looked at her, his hands tensing on his knees as years of guilt finally surfaced, "because I lied to you that day. Raven, you weren't manipulating me with your powers. I was falling for you."
"Should we call Raven?" Kid Flash asked as more and more alien beings appeared.
"Constantine's house said only if it's an emergency," Red Robin replied.
"Demons have been pouring out of this portal for two hours!"
"Only if it's an emergency!" Red Robin shouted before throwing batarangs at the invaders. "Besides, Constantine hasn't returned with any news."
Raven tried not to shift nervously as the silence seemed to lag on. Her mind was rushing, millions of thoughts were running through her head as she tentatively glanced Richard's way. He was as silent and still as stone. He looked…torn. "If you didn't like me," Raven began speaking softly, not trusting his earlier confession, "you could have just said so."
"Raven," he sighed.
"It would have hurt, but eventually I would have healed. I would have gotten over it."
"Raven," Richard said her name firmly. "This is all on me. I…I was…I was dreaming about you."
"Yes, you mentioned," Raven said, "like a residual side effect from—"
"And that may be true. You entered my mind. You let me into yours. We were connected…and maybe…maybe you were inadvertently inserting yourself into my dreams, or…" he sighed, "or I was dreaming about you because I was beginning to have feelings for you." Raven listened intently as a strange feeling spread in her chest. "You were on my mind often. I thought about you when I was in Gotham; I thought about you when I was with Starfire. And I…I allowed myself to fall for you. I leaned on you so much. When Starfire and I broke up, I ran to you. When Starfire and I fought, I ran to you. I needed help with a case, I'd call you. The fourth time Starfire and I broke up, you even let me stay with you."
"You didn't lead me on, if that's what you're getting at," Raven said.
"I'm not saying that, I'm saying—I never fully committed to Starfire—I never fully committed to any of my girlfriends—and because of that, I fell in and out of love more times than I can count. I was falling for you, and when I realized that, I freaked out," he admitted. "I told Starfire; she was okay with me falling in love with you. But I told her I what I thought, she believed me and said she would also talk to you."
"The girl's trip," Raven remembered. "And then she let me kiss you."
"Yes," Richard chuckled, "nearly gave me a heart attack. But, Raven, you weren't influencing me with your powers. I did it to myself, and, rather than face my feelings, I blamed you. I'm sorry. I am so sorry."
Raven nodded slowly. It was a relief to know she hadn't been manipulating his emotions.
"Yes, you were new to your emotions and feelings. It was a new landscape, but…you weren't manipulating anything. I could have been better. I should have been better, I could have been better. I thought I was so mature," Richard scoffed. "Do you know how ashamed I am now, of the things I did when I was in my early 20s?"
"Well, it's not like we had stable adults to look up to," Raven smiled. "We raised ourselves. On the other Earth, to be part of The Team, regular mental health checks with a reputed therapist is a requirement."
"Really?" Richard straightened. "That's not a bad idea."
"So is a high school diploma, hence…" Raven motioned to her uniform.
"Gotham Prep," Richard said. "Nice."
"Yeah," Raven chuckled, "my alias is Rachel Allera Roth-Constantine."
"Constantine?" Richard laughed.
"Yep. I am a goth immigrant from some country that was destroyed by alien invaders, and I have a drunkard for a father. No one knows how I'm linked to Bruce Wayne. All they know is that he is my sponsor, and Tim is my calculus tutor."
"A backstory and everything."
"A social security number, a school ID, a passport, a driver's license—I don't even know how to drive."
"So, you have a real life over there? I'm happy. Seems like a miracle opportunity. You should really take advantage of it."
Raven nodded.
"Though I'm glad you let me know that you're alive, why was that the question you needed answered?" Richard asked.
"Um…" Raven blushed. "A guy likes me. We've kissed a couple of times. But I needed to know—"
"To know if the feelings were his or yours," Richard finished. "Hold on." Richard stood and left the room. He returned moments later with a small thumb drive.
"What's this?" Raven asked when he handed it to her.
"Something Wally recorded a week after your funeral," Richard sat down. Raven looked at him, shocked at the revelation. "He said it was something his therapist told him to do, but…" his voice trailed off. Raven pulled out her Team communicator, which was flatter and more high-tech than the Titans'. "What's that?" Richard asked. His eyes then widened when Raven plugged the drive into the port. "What! It can do that‽" His eyes grew impossibly wider when a holograph image of Wally appeared. "Okay, after you've listened to this message, you've got to let me show Barbara."
"Sure," Raven smiled.
"Can we call Raven now?" Beast Boy asked.
"The Lords of Order have everything under control," Wonder Girl answered, but even she was unsure. Right now, she wanted to take advantage of the 15-minute break allotted to them.
"It is raining fire in Siberia," Beast Boy replied, pointing to one of the screens.
"If it gets worse, I'm sure Batman and Red Robin will do something," she said, hoping her voice didn't betray the confidence she was trying to exude.
"But-"
"Are you saying you agree with the angry crowds? You want to hand Raven over to the Chaos Lords?"
"No, it's just...this is all so fucked up."
"I agree, but I'm sure they are close to a solution."
Beast Boy looked back at the screens. "Oh, funny. Flying monkeys in Kansas. So hilarious."
"I'll wake Kid Flash," Wonder Girl sighed.
Richard had left the room to give Raven privacy. Now it was just her and Wally. "Here goes nothing," she sighed before pressing PLAY. "Is it recording now?" Wally glaring at, who Raven assumed, was Richard.
"Dude, yes," came Richard's terse reply.
"I don't know why you're annoyed with me. You're the one who forgot to hit RECORD last time."
"Just go," Richard said from behind the camera.
"Okay, okay," Wally cleared his throat and began. "Hey, Raven," he began hesitantly. "If you're watching this, that means you're alive, and I'm either dead or too much of a coward to do this face-to-face. A week before you...died...you came to my house and asked if I finally forgave you. I told you 'No'." Raven watched Wally's face fall. "I lied." Raven's heart raced at the admission. "I lied, and I'm sorry. I thought I'd have more time, but you died and... I forgave you a long time ago. What you did was wrong, no matter how desperate, but...it took me too long to realize…it came from a place of desperation. We were teammates for years before and after you admitted to manipulating me; you never acted maliciously unless you were pushed to the very edge..."
"Or if her father took control," Richard interrupted.
"Thanks, Dick, I got it," Wally gave him a tight smile. "After everything went down, after I quit, I had a life without the Titans. And I was happy, but every time we'd see each other in passing, you would avoid me—"
"You told her not to talk to you," Richard interjected again.
"What?"
"I was there."
"Stop interrupting," Wally gave his friend a glare. "I came back to the Titans, and we still never interacted unless we had to. But I watched you. I watched you in ways that made my heart ache. I watched you in ways that were downright creepy."
"Yeah, it's creepy," Richard said. "Stalker." Wally's entire body twitched, a sign that he had just accessed the speed force. Raven smiled when she saw the empty roll of tape in his hand. "As I was saying, I watched and learned—the way you'd curl up on the couch during storms and just…watch, how your eyes would light up when you found a new book. the quiet strength you showed every single day, fighting against your heritage. I noticed your scent, a mixture of vanilla and lavender. Your beautiful eyes, hiding and showing so much. Your love for cute animals—yes, I saw you that day with the bunnies. You were radiant and beautiful, the way the sunlight shone on you. It was ethereal," he sighed longingly.
"Then, I began to wonder if you were maybe manipulating me again. I got so angry because it had been eight years, and I couldn't shake you. These feeling that persisted and grew. I decided you'd done something to me. So, when you asked me to forgive you for the fourth time, I said 'no'. I didn't want to admit that the same person who hurt me the most was the same person I was beginning to love the most."
"Five," Raven chuckled when she heard Richard correct him.
"What are you talking about?" Wally asked. "And how did you get out of that?"
"You should have used more tape. And she asked for your forgiveness five times, not four. After I told her she was manipulating my emotions, she went to your apartment and asked for your forgiveness. That was the fifth time."
"You accused of her what‽"
"This is about you. Keep going," Richard said, and a huge wad of tape flew at Wally's head.
Raven laughed softly. She missed their friendly rows.
"The point is, out of the five times you asked me to forgive you, I truly forgave you the last two times." Tears rolled down Raven's face as she saw tears gather in Wally's eyes. "And now you're gone, and it's too late to tell you that I forgive you…and I love you. The past is…a part of me wanted you to suffer more, though. Turns out, there's a bit of darkness in me, too." Raven wiped her eyes. "I've been with Linda on and off for a couple of years, now. She keeps asking why I won't commit. I gave her some superficial spiel about superheroes. The truth is, I wasn't being honest with myself or you or anyone. Now I am. I love you. I need you to know that I love you and I forgive you. And I miss you so much, I wish you were here. I wish you were here. But I forgive you, and I love you, and I'm sorry I never told you."
There was a moment of silence. "Is that it? Are you finished?" Richard eventually asked. "It was very sweet. I think I could have done a better job, though."
"I'm going to kill you," Wally stood and marched towards the camera. "I'm going to kill you." The camera toppled to the floor, and before it cut off, Raven saw Wally and Richard trying to mess each other's hair up. Raven laughed at the frozen image. "Thank you, Wally," Raven sat in silence, one hand pressed against her chest where an ache had formed - not of pain, but of release. All these years, she'd carried the weight of believing she'd unconsciously manipulated those closest to her. Now, knowing both Richard and Wally's feeling, she felt lighter. It felt like chains had fallen away, and she could finally step forward. Her powers, usually so carefully contained, rippled around her with peaceful acceptance and alerted her to someone's presence. Raven turned to see Barbara and Richard with their head peeking out from around the corner. "Have you been there the whole time?" Raven asked. "You could have watched it with me."
"We only saw the last 10 seconds," Richard said, "Barbara wanted to know why I didn't bring the laptop. I didn't know how to explain what it was."
"That is amazing," Barbara stared at the holographic image of Wally and Richard playfully wrestling. "How's it made?"
"I have no idea," Raven admitted, "but I really do want to show you this world. It's shocking and amazing."
"I think I would like that," Barbara said.
"Oh, so now you believe her?" Richard smiled at his wife.
"You saw what I saw, right?"
Raven smiled. "Thank you." She stood. "But I really should be getting back. Time works funny when you jump dimensions. An hour or two here could mean anywhere from 4 seconds to 4 days over there. Though, my team hasn't contacted me. Still…" her voice trailed off.
"You're not going to show yourself to Victor or Garfield?" Richard asked. "They'd love to see you."
"Not tonight," Raven said. "But I promise, I will. You can tell them alive, but…this is what I needed. Thank you."
Richard pulled her into a hug. "I'm so happy you're alive," he spoke into her hair. "Don't be afraid to live your life, and don't be a stranger. Okay?" he said as he pulled away.
Raven nodded. "Let me see your phone," she said. Richard handed it to her. Raven then chanted a spell while waving a hand over the phone. "Here," she handed it back to Richard.
"What did you do to it?" he asked, inspecting his phone.
"I added my number with a little magic. You'll be able to reach me across dimensions."
"That is so cool," he looked at her fondly. "Live your life. Go after that boy you like. Tim, right?"
"How'd you know?" Raven asked.
"You blushed and gave a small sigh when you said his name," Richard said. "If he's anything like the Tim in this universe, he's one heck of a guy. Go for it."
Raven nodded, trying to hold back another blush. "Okay. Bye Richard, Barbara." Barbara gave her a kind smile. She opened a portal and turned back to them "Thank you," she said with an air of finality. In those two words was gratitude not just for today, but for years of friendship, for truth finally spoken, for the chance to begin again without the shadows of the past. Richard seemed to understand, and his smile held both recognition of what might have been and genuine joy for what she might become.
Raven created a portal and stepped through it, not looking back.
Appearing in her bedroom, Raven sighed. That was a good visit. She felt better, lighter, ready to move—a flood of emotions and auras hit her like a brick wall, causing her to stumble. "What is happening?" She opened her room door and ran to the common area surprised to see Miss Martian and her team gathered. "Raven?" Miss Martian said, surprised to see her. "Why aren't you with your team?"
"What's going on?" Raven asked instead.
"There's a giant volcano spewing lava in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean and, Antarctica is on fire."
"Oh."