Thanks to CL132010 for reviewing.

Tracy POV

"Tracy?" Fingers, so carefully and tenderly touching my face wiped away a hair tress that kept falling into my face. "Tracy? Can you wake up?"

I should probably be able to, I had done the most of the time after my scary seizure sleeping. But I was still so tired, burning up with fever while Mike had barely left my side for anything more than what he had to.

But I knew that voice.

It was the same voice that had come to me when I was in hospital for appendicitis.

"Cam?" I forced my eyes open at last and had it confirmed. "You were in New York!"

"Oh. Not anymore." She kissed my forehead. "I caught the first plane possible when I heard about what happened. Mike's told me some of it… But I don't think it's all." I couldn't help the few tears that came rolling from my eyes, down from the corners of my eyes and down on the damn, white hospital- pillow.

Maybe I should have been able to go home by now. But I just couldn't move. I couldn't hear, I just couldn't do anything. I knew that Mike was there, sitting right to me. He was talking to me but I couldn't hear his words- or the doctor's or nurses.

Then at last. There was that one voice that reached through everything.

But the thoughts in my head were so loud…

Obviously!

I lifted my arms slowly, then reached up- held onto Cam as tightly as I ever could. As if nothing could have ever let me go.

"Tracy…" She said, slowly while someone came over and raised the top of the bed so that I had to sit and I could see the worry shining from her eyes. "…You know… you can tell me anything! Even if you did something bad. I just want to know whenever you're not well… or when you are well. I just want to know when something's going on whether it's good or bad."

"It was just that…." I had had the words on my tongue so many times, now I was hesitating. But while I knew I could talk, even after all sleeping there wasn't any energy left to lie- or even come up with any lies. "When you went away… I kept on having a feeling you wouldn't come back. Something would happen to you before you had the chance." Cam just kept stroking my hair, I paused for a moment and wasn't sure if I wanted to or not.

"I just kept telling myself that wasn't very realistic. I mean… why would anything happen to you just as you've left. I mean… only because you've left!"

I was very aware these were some thoughts, that were completely my own fault and no matter if they were about her I shouldn't bother her with them…

"I'm sorry…" I had to make a pause when my voice broke and went down into whispers. "I'm just so sorry."

"Oh Tracy… You have nothing to apologize for. If I'd known you'd miss me this bad then I would never have left… I thought it would be fun for you… Pizza for every meal, parties every night…"

"That would be what I thought too…." I sighed deeply. "…Then I was ill, and I had the worst nightmare ever."

Random fact

By the end of the episode "Down to earth" (Season 3 episode 5) when Cam arrives. I always thought "cool down. Tracy's had appendicitis, not a heart attack or brain surgery". Oh well. Those scenes is what inspired me to write this chapter. After all, seizure can be caused by brain tumor, skull fracture, stroke and so on.