"'Mercy me! I don't know anything about love and such nonsense!' cried Jo, with a funny mixture of interest and contempt. 'In novels, the girls show it by starting and blushing, fainting away, growing thin, and acting like fools. Now Meg does not do anything of the sort. She eats and drinks and sleeps like a sensible creature, she looks straight in my face when I talk about that man, and only blushes a little bit when Teddy jokes about lovers. I forbid him to do it, but he doesn't mind me as he ought.'"

– Little Women, Chapter 20

Thursday afternoon, Juliet sat kicking her legs and sipping her chai latte as she waited for Lorelai's class to get out. After a minute or so, the bell on the cafe's glass door chimed, and Lorelai breezed in.

"Hey, you!" Lorelai said with a bright smile, plunking her stuff down on the table as she sat across from Juliet.

"Hey! Perfect timing, they just brought this out," Juliet said, pushing a cup of coffee toward her sister.

Lorelai groaned and took a grateful sip. "Ugh, you're an angel. This has been the longest day of my life."

"At least you look cute," Juliet said, gesturing to her sister's sleek brown leather skirt and matching turtleneck. God, even her ponytail was glossy.

Lorelai leaned in conspiratorially, an impish smile on her face. "I'm not wearing underwear."

"Oh, gross!" Juliet exclaimed, jerking her head back as she wrinkled her nose. "I did not need to know that!"

"You're a doctor!" Lorelai protested, her eyes lighting up in amusement. "You think everyone doesn't go all loose and breezy underneath those hospital gowns?"

Juliet made a face. "Well, yeah, but I don't like to think about it."

Lorelai shrugged, smiling wryly as she took another sip of her coffee. "Well, I don't think half of Stars Hollow wanted to think about it either, but that didn't stop Rory from announcing it in the middle of the diner this morning."

Juliet's eyes widened. "You're joking."

"Nope," Lorelai said, shaking her head with a little chuckle.

"Oh my God, I can't believe she did that!"

"I think everyone thought she was kidding," Lorelai made a face. "I hope everyone thought she was kidding."

"I'm sure they did," Juliet said placatingly. She furrowed her brow, and shook her head again to clear it. Somehow, this conversation was more disturbing than the unobstructed view of a ninety-year-old man's behind that she'd had just before getting off work. Hoping to change the subject, she indicated the Target bag at Lorelai's feet. "What's in there?"

Lorelai smirked. "New underwear."

The bells chimed again as Juliet rolled her eyes, strongly considering pounding her head against the table to get the memory of this conversation out of her brain.

"Lorelai? Juliet?"

Both sisters' heads whipped around at the sound of their name being called, and saw Max Medina giving them his signature debonair smile as he made his way over to their table.

Oh no, Juliet thought, running a hand over her messy French braid as she glanced down at her tea-stained scrubs. No, no, no, no, no.

Lorelai recovered quickly, gracing Max with one of her dazzling smiles and probably making him regret asking her sister out even more than he already was. "Max! Hey! What are you doing here?"

"Well, I was in my office grading a paper titled: 'Emily Dickinson: Get a Life', and decided I needed a change of scenery before I lost my faith in mankind entirely. And then I suppose fate led me here, to a cafe I'd never tried before," he finished, turning his gaze from Lorelai to Juliet and smiling down at her.

Juliet gave him a shy smile, before lowering her eyes uncomfortably. If it was fate that Max Medina had shown up at this coffee shop today, where Lorelai looked considerably more attractive and put together than her younger sister, then some god out there certainly had it out for her.

"Hey," Lorelai began, glancing between them as she smiled encouragingly at Juliet. "Did you know you can sing all of Emily Dickinson's poems to the tune of Gilligan's Island?"

Max nodded, his eyes lighting up. "I did! I tried to share that with my students, to get them more excited about her poetry, but to no avail. I suppose Gilligan's Island isn't as popular with the younger generation as it was in our day."

"We love that show," Juliet told him, smiling fondly from Max to Lorelai. "We used to watch it together every day after school."

"Yeah," Lorelai added, a teasing smile on her face. "We always thought Ginger and the Professor should get together."

Juliet nearly rolled her eyes at the obviousness of the implication, and ducked her head as her cheeks flamed up.

"Well, I won't intrude any longer," Max said, drumming his fingers on the table. "I know how important time with your siblings is."

Juliet looked up with sudden interest. "Do you have brothers and sisters?"

"Three older brothers," Max confirmed with a nod, his smile a mixture of fondness and exasperation. He gave a wry shrug. "And I somehow lived to tell the tale."

Juliet felt herself smiling back, feeling as though this was the most genuine version of Max Medina she'd ever seen. "So, you're the youngest too?"

"I am," he nodded again, still smiling warmly. The barista at the counter called out his name and drink order, and he glanced over his shoulder. "Well, I should get back to Miss Dickinson. Wish me luck."

"Good luck," Juliet said, her voice coming out more breathy than she wanted it to, prompting Lorelai to smirk at her.

"Nice to see you, Juliet," Max said with a small wave. "You too, Lorelai. And tell Rory hello for me."

"I will," Lorelai promised, waving back.

"Bye," Juliet smiled, her eyes lingering on him as he walked away. When she turned back to face Lorelai, her sister was leaning forward, chin in her hand, as she regarded Juliet with a teasing grin. Juliet shook her head. "Don't even."

"You're so cute!" Lorelai gushed, reaching forward and pinching her cheek. Juliet swatted her hand away. "Pretty, pretty, pink cheeks."

Juliet's cheeks turned even brighter red, if that was possible. "I wanna go back to talking about your underwear."

Lorelai just snickered in reply.

That week at Friday Night Dinner, Rory was acting weird. She kept smiling to herself, occasionally running a fingernail over her bottom lip. Juliet glanced over at Lorelai in confusion as she gestured to her niece with her eyes. Lorelai just shrugged.

After her story was finished, Emily turned to her granddaughter. "Rory, how's Chilton?"

Rory put her finger down from where it was unconsciously rubbing her mouth. "Um, good. We're studying Marlowe in English class."

"The guy from Shakespeare in Love?" Lorelai asked.

Richard looked at his oldest incredulously. "Marlowe was much more than 'the guy from Shakespeare in Love', Lorelai."

"I know, Dad," Lorelai said with a tight smile. "I was just joking."

"Ah," Richard said with a nod, returning his focus to his plate.

Awkward, painful silence reigned for another minute, broken only by the sounds of cutlery against plates.

After another excruciating hour, dinner was over, and Lorelai, Rory, and Juliet stepped out into the frigid November air.

Lorelai pulled her coat more tightly around herself, scowling up at the sky. "What's the point of it being this cold outside if it's not gonna snow?"

"You should write a strongly worded letter to God about that," Juliet suggested, glancing back at her as she walked to her Honda.

Lorelai followed her, her arms crossed tightly to ward off the cold. "Oh, don't think I won't!"

They were quiet for a moment, waiting for Rory to make a comment of her own, or beg to continue this conversation somewhere warmer, but she just trailed behind her mother, a small, secret smile on her face as she stared at her shoes. Lorelai and Juliet exchanged another look.

"Hey, kid, you got something you wanna share with the class?" Lorelai asked, giving Rory a playful nudge with her shoulder.

"Oh! Um," Rory looked up, a faint blush tingeing her cheeks. She glanced back at the house, biting her lip. "Can it wait till we get home?"

Lorelai nodded. "Sure, hon."

Rory regarded her mother warily. "I'll ride with Auntie Jules."

Lorelai's mouth dropped open, offended. "Are you insinuating that I'm going to pry? Because I resent that, Rory, I really do. I never pry."

Rory shook her head sarcastically, already walking in the direction of her aunt's car. "No, never."

Lorelai trailed after her, heels clicking on the gravel. "I will be like, the opposite of Pandora. I will let you sit with your box of thoughts and not even attempt to open them for the entire thirty-minute drive."

Rory opened the passenger door to the Honda, nodding at her mother. "That'll be really easy for you, 'cause I'm riding with Auntie Jules."

"Hey, you think I'm worse than she is? Auntie Jules is the worst pry-er known to man! I'm telling you, kid, it's those shrink instincts, she asks these little needling questions that you don't think anything of, until suddenly, she's right at the root of exactly what you don't want to talk about!"

Juliet smirked at her sister, climbing into the other side of the car. "It's a gift."

Lorelai gave them both an exaggerated pout, but waved goodbye, marching over to the Jeep. Juliet turned the key in the ignition and mimed zipping her lips at Rory before driving off, letting the Spice Girls fill the silence between them.

After makeup had been removed, hair taken down, and pajamas put on, the three women sat on Lorelai's couch, a bowl of popcorn between them. Lorelai held out the bowl to Juliet, who dutifully took a handful after only a moment of hesitation.

Rory avoided both her mother's and aunt's eyes, running a finger over a cartoon cake on her pajama pants.

"You know you don't have to tell us if you don't want to," Juliet reminded her.

Lorelai shot her sister a look, but turned to Rory with a reassuring smile of her own. "Yeah, babe. Just because you can tell us anything doesn't mean you have to. Unless you're thinking of going blonde. Then you have to tell us so that we can talk you out of it."

Rory focused harder on her pajama pants. "I got kissed."

Lorelai's eyes widened, and she leaned back a little, exchanging a look with Juliet. "Wow! And – you're happy about it?"

Rory's cheeks pinked, and she smiled a little. "Yeah, I am."

"That's great, honey!" Lorelai said with a too-bright smile. "Um, what's his name?"

"Dean," Rory told her with an embarrassed smile, as though even the act of saying his name out loud was too much of an admission.

"Dean!" Lorelai chortled. "The King of Cool!"

Juliet elbowed her in the ribs. "So how'd it happen?"

Rory took a deep, excited breath, straightening in her seat a little and tucking her hair behind her ears. She wove a tale for them about ant spray and soda and cornstarch, her smile sheepish as she revealed that in all the excitement, she'd grabbed a box of the stuff without paying.

"Should I put it back? It's in my room, but I kinda wanted to keep it," Rory confessed, ducking her head again. She looked up at them, her eyes wide and guilty. "Is that horrible? Am I a horrible person for that? Maybe I can put some money in the cash register tomorrow when no one's looking. Does Doose's have a tip jar?"

"Maybe you can slip in tomorrow with the cornstarch under your coat," Lorelai suggested with false urgency. "Pretend you found it in the store, and then buy it."

Rory looked at her mother pleadingly. "Can you do it? I have to work the Horn of Plenty tomorrow."

Lorelai gave her a look. "Stuff it under your apron."

"You're being weird," Juliet informed her sister at Luke's the next day.

Lorelai glanced away from the window, where she was spying on Rory. "I'm not being weird."

Juliet arched an eyebrow. "You're acting like Jimmy Stewart in Rear Window."

Lorelai stuck out her bottom lip. "Aw, hey, if I have to be anyone in that movie, can't I be Grace Kelly?"

"It feels a little weird to me too," Juliet confessed, putting a hand on Lorelai's forearm. "But you have to embrace the weirdness to move past it, instead of pretending you're fine and then acting like –"

"Grace Kelly," Lorelai reminded her solemnly.

Juliet rolled her eyes. "Grace Kelly. So, come on, is it the idea of guys and Rory in general that freaks you out? Or is the fact that your daughter's old enough to kiss a boy a reminder that time is passing and you can't stop it?"

"It's neither, because I'm not freaked out," Lorelai insisted stubbornly. "She's sixteen, that's older than both of us were when we kissed a guy for the first time, she's responsible, I trust her to be careful. Why would I be freaked out?"

Juliet sighed. "Come on, Lor, it's me. You can tell me if you're freaked out."

"It's Saturday, Jules. Tell your spidey shrink senses to stop tingling, 'cause you're off the clock," Lorelai said, going back to staring out the window.

Juliet rolled her eyes again as Luke came up to their table, holding a coffee pot and scowling more than usual. Juliet frowned at him, concerned. "Are you okay?"

"You would think, in a so-called 'free country'," Luke set the coffee pot down on the table so that he could make air quotes. "A man could choose whether or not he wants a picture of a fat, stupid, bird on his wall!"

Lorelai's nose wrinkled sympathetically. "Aw, is Taylor still bugging you about your decorations?"

"He's got Patty on my ass too," Luke grumbled, but Juliet noticed how his shoulders seemed to relax after even a few moments of talking to her sister. "I swear to God, one of these days I'm gonna kill him."

Lorelai smiled up at him. "Don't worry, Jules hates Thanksgiving too."

"I don't hate it, it's just a day devoted to my two least favorite things," Juliet explained. "Imperialism and eating in front of my mom."

"Don't forget consumerism," Luke reminded her.

Juliet tilted her head, wrinkling her nose in thought. "Thanksgiving's like the least consumerist American holiday."

"Well, sure," Lorelai quipped, grinning. "You can't celebrate imperialism and consumerism on the same day. Both of them are notoriously bad at sharing. They'd get in a fight, and destroy each other."

"And we can't have that, can we?" Luke deadpanned, fighting a smile.

Lorelai tossed her hands in the air with a sad shake of her head. "What would be left of America?"

Juliet pretended to think for a moment. "Unpaid maternity leave and guns?"

"Don't get me started," Luke sighed, rolling his eyes.

Lorelai looked at Juliet, her eyes gleeful. "We got him started!"

After a patented Luke Danes rant about gun control, reproductive rights, and somehow, Princess Diana, Luke refilled their coffee and tea and walked away.

"Let's go," Lorelai said, draining her mug quickly and putting a few bills on the table. "I need to go to the market for something."

Juliet narrowed her eyes, pretty sure she could guess what Lorelai wanted to go to the market for. "What do you need to get?"

Lorelai raised her eyebrows, her eyes darting around evasively as she shrugged. "You know, just . . . something. I can't remember what, exactly. But I'll remember when we go in."

"Uh-huh," Juliet nodded skeptically.

Lorelai scowled at her. "You don't have to come, you know."

Juliet pushed her hair to the side as she pulled on her jacket, and gently scooted Lorelai out of the diner's door. "Yes, I do. Someone has to make sure you don't kill the bag boy."

"I'm not gonna kill the bag boy!" Lorelai insisted, her voice rising an octave.

Juliet glanced over at her sister with a knowing smirk, linking their arms as they walked. Lorelai opened the door to the market, gesturing for Juliet to go ahead, and then following her younger sister with hunched shoulders, shoving the small of her back so that they could slink through the aisles together.

"Stop being weird," Juliet hissed, but glanced over her shoulder to see if she could get a glimpse of Rory's new suitor anyway. "Do you see him?"

"No, I," Lorelai started to say, then suddenly grabbed Juliet's hand and pulled her behind a display of green beans. "There he is, there he is!"

They'd seen him from the kitchen window a few weeks ago, his face half-hidden by darkness. He looked taller here, when they weren't staring down at him.

"He's tall," was all Juliet could think to say.

"I know," Lorelai agreed. She tilted her head. "Does he. . .?"

Juliet glanced over at her, gesturing with her hand that she needed to finish her thought. "Does he what?"

Lorelai frowned, focusing more intently on the boy's features. "This might be me projecting or something, but he kind of looks like Chris. Doesn't he?"

Juliet inhaled shakily, then squinted, trying to see the resemblance. "You think? Chris is like two heads shorter than this guy."

"You don't see it?" Lorelai asked, looking at her in disbelief.

Juliet shook her head, still squinting. "I mean, their hair's kind of a similar color. And they're both. . . attractive, in that Prince Charming way."

Lorelai snorted. "Prince Charming? Chris?"

"You know, wholesome looking. Looking," Juliet emphasized, before Lorelai could comment on the wholesomeness of the boy they'd grown up with. She made a face in the bag boy's direction. "Hopefully the resemblance ends there."

Lorelai pressed her lips together and nodded, saying nothing. Juliet felt a familiar pit begin to form in her stomach, the way it always did whenever she and Lorelai talked about Christopher for too long.

"What are you guys doing?" A voice behind them asked.

Lorelai jumped a foot in the air, clutching at Luke's forearms as she turned around and saw him. "Oh, God! Don't do that! You're gonna give me a heart attack!"

"With all the coffee you drink, that wouldn't be my fault," Luke pointed out. "I repeat, what are you doing?"

"What are you doing?" Lorelai repeated evasively.

Luke pointed to the dairy section. "I ran out of cream."

Lorelai took them each by the hand and all but dragged them into another aisle, still watching Dean. "Yeah, us too."

Luke looked as if he was seriously contemplating putting them both in an insane asylum. "What is wrong with you people today?"

"Rory got kissed," Juliet explained, then looked pointedly over at Lorelai, a small smile playing on her lips. "And someone's freaking out about it."

"I'm not freaking out!" Lorelai's mouth dropped open, offended.

Juliet tilted her head. "Yes, you are."

"Yes, you are," Luke repeated. Juliet looked over her shoulder, a 'nobody picks on my sister but me' glare at the ready, but relaxed when she saw the teasing look in his eyes, despite the grumpy set of the rest of his face. What a weird enigma her sister had chosen.

"I'm not," Lorelai insisted, raising her chin defiantly.

Juliet arched an eyebrow. "So, what did we come in here for again?"

"Well – to – you know," Lorelai sighed, deflating. "I wanted to see him."

"And now we have," Juliet gestured to the door with her head. "We should go before you murder the bag boy."

Before Lorelai could protest, Juliet took her hand and all but dragged her out of the store, Luke following close behind. When he made to follow them further down the street, Juliet pointed back at the store.

"Didn't you need cream?"

"Ah, crap," Luke said with a grimace, turning back around and wrenching the door open.

"We'll be out here," Lorelai called to his retreating back. Turning to see Juliet smirking at her, she frowned. "What?"

Juliet made a loud kissing noise, earning her an eye roll from her older sister. "I hate you."

"Okay, we have to be really quick, 'cause the video store's gonna close," Lorelai was saying the next night, her arms threaded through Juliet and Rory's. "So stick to our list. No impulse buying, like toothpaste or soap."

Juliet gave her a wry smile. "Because I so often buy toothpaste and soap on impulse."

"Never used those before, just thought I'd try!" Rory added with a giggle.

"Always ganging up on me," Lorelai tsked disapprovingly as she opened the door to the market.

Rory stopped abruptly, her eyes wide and panicked. "Hey, I think we have enough stuff to eat at home."

Lorelai arched an eyebrow. "Really . . . where do you live? 'Cause the home I left this morning had nothing."

"Well, we're ordering pizza!" Rory protested, her brow wrinkled with anxiety. "That's enough."

"Are you crazy? You can't watch Willy Wonka without massive amounts of junk food!" Lorelai argued, her eyes twinkling. "It's not right. I won't allow it. We're going in."

Juliet touched her niece's shoulder sympathetically. "It'll be fine, I promise."

"No it won't," Rory shook her head. "He can't meet my mother and my aunt all at once, it's too weird! We might as well have Grandma and Grandpa drive down here too!"

"Rory, it's fine," Lorelai laughed.

Rory still looked concerned, so Juliet gave her arm a little squeeze. "We'll try not to be embarrassing."

"Fine. Let's go," Rory sighed again, stepping into the market and glancing around warily. She visibly relaxed after a moment. "I don't see him."

"All right," Lorelai shrugged. "Well, maybe he's on a break."

"Yeah!" Rory said with a relieved smile. "Yeah, maybe he's on a break. So, do we want marshmallows?"

"Mmm. . . and jelly beans, and chocolate kisses. Cookie dough we have at home. Peanut butter. Red Vines, Twizzlers for Jules," Lorelai eyed her with a fond smirk. "The freak."

Juliet just rolled her eyes in reply, grabbing a bag of baby carrots and throwing them in the basket too. As she stared at the smorgasbord of junk food assembled in the basket, she had a brief flash of envy for her sister's seemingly freakish metabolism, and even more for the fact that Lorelai didn't need to give herself a pep talk before every meal. She was so. . . abnormally normal about food.

Rory tapped her mother on the shoulder, pointing at Dean. "There he is."

Lorelai blew out a breath. "Boy, he's tall. That must have been some back-bender, that kiss."

Juliet snorted.

"Shut up!" Rory hissed as they wandered closer to the checkout lane where Dean stood. She smiled at him shakily. "Hey, Dean."

He returned the smile nervously, his eyes lighting up. "Hey."

There was an awkward pause. "Um, this is my mom, Lorelai. And, uh, this is my aunt, Juliet. Mom, Auntie Jules, this is Dean."

Juliet gave him a little wave. "Hi."

Lorelai stuck her hand out. "Nice to meet you, Dean."

"Yeah, you too," Dean replied, shaking it. "Uh, both of you."

They paid for their groceries and left, their arms linked again.

Lorelai gave them both a sly little smirk. "I need coffee."

Rory rolled her eyes. "Mom, the video store closes in ten minutes!"

"Well, you run to the video store and I'll go get coffee," Lorelai ordered, shooing her daughter away. "Go, go, go. I'll meet you at Luke's!"

Rory turned around, hurrying off to the video store with a sigh. Juliet nudged her sister with her shoulder. "So do you want me to wait outside, so I don't embarrass you?"

"Oh, I think we've crossed that bridge," Lorelai said dryly as she led Juliet toward the diner.

"Hey!" They turned around to see Dean rushing out of the market, slowing down as he caught up to them. "You forgot your Red Vines."

Lorelai graced him with a genuine smile. "Oh, wow! You totally saved the night."

"Aw, I was gonna force-feed you Twizzlers," Juliet said with mock wistfulness.

"I'm gonna strangle you with a Twizzler," Lorelai threatened, smiling sweetly.

Dean gave an appreciative snort at their bickering. Lorelai hesitated, then took a deep breath, looking up at Dean. "Hey, what are you doing tonight?"

Oh no.

"Lor," Juliet hissed, trying to signal through some blood telepathy that this was not a road they wanted to go down.

"Me?" Dean glanced between the two of them, surprised. "Uh, well, I don't know."

"Well, do you want to come over?" Lorelai asked, smiling so brightly it was awkward. Juliet tried again to stop her, pinching Lorelai's arm. Lorelai batted her hand away with a confused frown. "We're ordering pizza. We've got a movie. The neighborhood's got a pool going to see who falls into a sugar coma first. I'm the favorite. It might be fun."

Oh, God, it was like watching a car crash. Juliet barely resisted the urge to cover her eyes.

"Uh, well, um. . . uh. . ." Dean looked around desperately.

"I'm sure he has homework," Juliet said as she laid a gentle hand on Lorelai's elbow, trying to offer him an out.

"Oh, uh, no. No homework tonight. Thank God," Dean said with a chuckle, either not wanting the out or too stupid to take it.

"Well, great!" Lorelai said in that high voice she used when she was lying. Juliet just hoped it wasn't as obviously fake to someone who didn't know her well. "Seven sound good?"

Dean nodded. "Sounds fine."

Lorelai smiled at him again, nodding. "Let me give you our address."

"Oh, uh, that's okay. I know where you live," Dean said with a polite smile.

Okay, it was looking like stupid. Juliet's eyes darted between the two of them, not sure whether she felt more secondhand embarrassment for Dean or Lorelai.

She smiled at Dean, then tugged on her older sister's elbow like a child whose mother had been taking too long in the grocery store. "Come on, Lor. Um, we'll see you at seven, I guess?"

Lorelai glanced over her shoulder at Dean as Juliet steered her to the diner. "Bye, Dean!"

Dean gave her a half-hearted wave back. "Bye."

When he was safely back in the store, Juliet whirled on her sister. "Lorelai!"

"Whoa, all three syllables, I must be in trouble!" Lorelai quipped, holding her hands up in surrender.

"You don't think you should've asked Rory before you invited her boyfriend to movie night?" Juliet asked.

"He's not her boyfriend! They've kissed once!" Lorelai insisted in an urgent whisper. "I mean, God, that's like saying Max is your boyfriend!"

Juliet ignored how not alike the two scenarios were, and pinched the bridge of her nose, groaning. She looked back up at Lorelai, pressing her lips together. "Okay, fine. What if Mom invited Max to Friday Night Dinner or something without telling me? Or Luke?"

Lorelai sent a panicked glance in the direction of the diner, as though Luke was going to pop out as soon as they started discussing him as a romantic prospect.

Her eyes darted back to Juliet and widened as she comprehended the comparison, and her mouth turned down in a wounded pout. "You're comparing me to Mom?"

"No, Lor, I just –" Juliet squeezed her eyes shut, understanding better than anyone how awful it was to be compared to Emily Gilmore. "Okay, not Mom. What if I invited the guy you like over without asking?"

Lorelai crossed her arms stubbornly. "I'd be fine with it."

Juliet gave her a pointed look, crossing her arms right back. "You would?"

Lorelai didn't answer for a moment, blowing out a breath. After a moment, she shrugged.

"Okay, fine. I'd be a little mad, I guess," she begrudgingly admitted, rolling her eyes a little. After a moment, she threw her hands up in frustration. "Well, that's just fan-frickin'-tastic. Now I have to deal with this kid while watching Willy Wonka, which will completely ruin the experience, by the way, and Rory probably didn't want me to invite him over in the first place!"

"We could . . . uninvite him?" Juliet suggested half-heartedly, already knowing that wasn't an option.

"We can't do that," Lorelai said, her face puckering in a frown. "We were both raised by Miss Manners, you know you can't rescind an invitation."

Before Juliet could offer another terrible suggestion, Rory came around the corner, waving the Willy Wonka tape over her head. "Got it!"

Lorelai pumped a fist in the air, smiling nervously. "Score! You know, on the one hand, I'm glad it was in but on the other hand what kind of world do we live in where no one has rented Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory?"

"Well, we rented it," Rory pointed out.

"Well, thank God for us," Lorelai said with a grin. Juliet nudged her head toward Rory in a tell her gesture. Lorelai rolled her eyes, and turned to Rory with a too casual expression on her face. "Oh, um, we invited your friend."

Juliet shot her a glare, not wanting to share the credit or the blame for inviting Dean to movie night.

Rory's brow furrowed. "What friend?"

"Uh, um," Lorelai looked over at Juliet helplessly. "Dean."

Rory dropped her arms to her sides as she looked at her mother and aunt in horror. "What?"

"I'm sorry!" Lorelai apologized hurriedly. "I didn't think!"

"What is wrong with you?" Rory asked incredulously, her face flushing red. She turned to Juliet, irate. "How could you let this happen?"

"Rory, don't blame her," Lorelai pleaded. "She might as well have been waving a sign that said 'Don't Invite Him', but I'm an idiot and didn't pick up on it."

"In fairness, he didn't pick up on the excuse I dropped into his lap," Juliet pointed out, looking between her sister and niece with a furrowed brow. "Maybe he actually wants to come?"

"It's not like he could say no!" Rory hissed. "You're my mother and aunt!"

"Okay, it'll be okay," Lorelai said, holding her hands up placatingly. "We'll just disappear and you guys can be alone."

"Oh, and have it look like my mother and aunt arranged a date for me?" Rory scoffed. "What is this, a Jane Austen novel?"

"What do you wanna do then, Rory?" Juliet asked, placing a hand on Rory's back.

"He has to come," Rory declared, as though signing her own death warrant.

Lorelai came out of Rory's bedroom a half hour later, giving Juliet a look of fond commiseration. "Poor thing."

Juliet looked up from the junk food she was sorting into bowls. "She okay?"

"Just nervous," Lorelai said with a wave of her hand as she flopped down on the couch. "She has this crazy idea that I came out of the womb just knowing how to talk to guys, and she somehow thinks that particular gene skipped over her."

Juliet huffed out a laugh. "You kinda did, though. Come out of the womb knowing how to talk to guys."

Lorelai glanced over at her, a surprised smile on her face. "You think?"

"Not just guys," Juliet shrugged. "You're just good at talking to people. I mean, my friends liked you better than me growing up."

"That was just because I showed them how to stuff their bras," Lorelai said with a smirk.

Juliet laughed, and they were both silent for a minute, focusing on tidying up the living room. Lorelai took a deep breath, preparing to say something, and then stopped herself.

Juliet looked over her shoulder. "What?"

"Do you hear from him at all?" Lorelai asked, concentrating intently on the magazines she was putting away.

Juliet didn't need to ask which 'him' Lorelai was talking about. She shook her head. "No. I don't talk to him."

Lorelai looked up at her, lowering her arms as she said hesitatingly, "You know you're allowed to –"

Juliet shook her head more forcefully. "I don't talk to him."

Lorelai nodded, pressing her lips together as she pulled her shirt down nervously. She was silent again for a while. "Hey, is there gonna be room on the table for the pizza?"

Seven came and went. Then 7:15. Then 7:20. At 7:28, Rory sat wedged between her mother and aunt, checking her watch for the millionth time, and glanced out the window with a frown.

She turned to her mother nervously. "What time did he say he was coming?"

"Seven," Lorelai repeated, for the millionth time.

"Maybe something happened," Rory worried. "Maybe he's not coming."

Lorelai tried to give her a reassuring smile. "Maybe he's just late, Miss German train."

"I don't know, Lor," Juliet glanced at the door again. "Half an hour's pretty bad. Maybe we should just start the movie."

Lorelai glared at her, and Juliet raised her eyebrows in reply, shrugging. Rolling her eyes, Lorelai went to the window and pulled the curtain back. "Oops."

Rory frowned, getting up. "What?"

Juliet pushed herself off the couch and followed her niece. "What is it?"

"They've got Dean!" Rory lamented, still looking out the window.

"Wait here," Lorelai ordered, hurrying out the door in a half-jog.

Rory turned to her aunt, huffing a relieved sigh as she tucked her hair behind her ears. After a moment, Dean joined them in the living room, smiling nervously as he took off his jacket.

Rory returned his smile with a shy one of her own. "Hi."

"Hi," Dean said, walking a little closer. He nodded to Juliet. "Hi."

"Hi," Juliet waved awkwardly, wishing Lorelai would come in from outside. There was a pause that seemed to stretch out for an eternity. "So, um, where are you from again, Dean?"

"Chicago," Dean said shortly, looking up from his shoes briefly.

"Cool," Juliet nodded, looking around the room for anything that might start a conversation. What was taking Lorelai so long? "My, um, my attending did her residency there."

"Cool," Dean smiled tightly. Another awkward pause settled over them. "I'm sorry I'm late. I got here, like, a half hour ago."

Rory gave him a reassuring smile. "We believe you."

"We'd believe you if you said you got here three hours ago," Lorelai said as she came into the living room, and Juliet inwardly breathed a sigh of relief. A third awkward pause joined them. Lorelai smiled brightly at Dean. "So, Dean, how do you like it here in Stars Hollow?"

Dean shrugged, seeming to relax a bit. "I like it. It's quiet, but nice. I like all the trees everywhere."

"Yeah, not a lot of trees in Chi-town, huh?" Lorelai asked, prompting Rory to glare at her. Taking a breath, she tucked her hair behind her ears. "Um, would you like a tour of the house?"

Dean shrugged. "Okay."

But before Lorelai began what was sure to be a wonderfully quippy house tour, the doorbell rang.

"Oh, I'll get that. Rory, Jules, you take over as tour guides. Make sure and show him the emergency exits," Lorelai said, smiling quickly as she left.

"I'll go help her," Juliet said, pointing to the door, even though Lorelai had pretty much told her to stay, and probably didn't need much help carrying a single pizza. She fled the kitchen, unsure if she was being a cool aunt or just a chicken.

"We do not need dessert, Sookie," Lorelai was saying as she came into the foyer.

Juliet smiled at her, brow furrowed in surprise. "Hey, Sookie. I didn't know you were coming."

"Oh, I just had some extra tiramisu, I thought I'd bring it over," Sookie shrugged, smiling sheepishly. "Sooo, where's Rory?"

"With Dean," Lorelai reminded her in an exasperated whisper.

Sookie's eyes widened with pretended innocence. "Dean? Oh, that's right, yeah, Dean is here."

"Yeah, right," Lorelai rolled her eyes, opening the door and shoving Sookie out. "Okay. You need to go now."

"Please. I just want one little peek," Sookie pinched her fingers together, eyes wide and pleading.

Juliet bit back a chastisement, unsure if Sookie was enough of her friend for one to be appropriate.

Lorelai handed the tiramisu off to Juliet as she opened the door for the pizza guy, counting out a few bills. "Sookie, she's already freaked out that we invited him here –"

"We?" Juliet repeated, arching an eyebrow.

Lorelai sighed. "That I invited him. If she thinks I'm parading him around in front of all my friends, she'll kill me."

Sookie pouted. "But I just –"

"Death, bloody and slow, okay?" Lorelai pleaded.

Sookie opened her mouth to protest one more time, turning to Juliet with wheedling eyes. Juliet just gave her a quelling look, and she sighed. "Tell me about it tomorrow?"

"Thank you," Lorelai breathed, ushering her out the door just in time for Rory and Dean to join them. "So, are you hungry?"

"Starving," Dean confirmed. He indicated the pizza in Lorelai's hands. "Uh, I can take that, if you want."

Lorelai handed it to him, smiling tightly as she followed him into the living room. "Oh, thanks. Um, the coffee table's fine."

"Thank God there's good pizza here," Dean said, opening the box greedily.

Juliet gave an awkward giggle. "We weren't sure what toppings you liked, but we figured plain cheese was safest."

"And Dean, I don't know if you know this," Lorelai said with mock seriousness, holding eye contact with Dean. "But we put our sauce under our cheese here in Connecticut. Didn't want to freak you out."

Dean smirked, his brow wrinkling in confusion. "Thanks for the warning."

The night was going surprisingly well. Lorelai diffused the awkwardness in the room with her usual charm, Rory relaxed, and aside from a comment about Rory's eating habits that made Juliet want to punch him in the jaw, Dean was okay.

After Augustus Gloop was sucked into a pipe, Lorelai stood up, wiping her hands on her jeans. "I'll get more popcorn. Jules, you wanna come help?"

Juliet pushed herself off the floor, following her sister into the kitchen. Lorelai put a fresh bag of popcorn in the microwave with a sigh, sat down at the kitchen table, and opened a magazine. "I figured we should give them a minute."

Juliet sent a wary glance back to the living room, but sat down beside her anyway. Lorelai pushed the magazine toward her so they could both read it, their heads nestled together companionably. "So, what do you think of him?"

Juliet's face puckered in thought, eyes focusing on a refrigerator magnet. "He's okay."

"I kinda hate him," Lorelai confessed, standing up to retrieve the popcorn and shaking the bag a few times before pouring it into a bowl. She giggled. "That's probably not fair."

Juliet shrugged. "It's probably not personal, at least."

Lorelai blew out a breath, stuffing a handful of popcorn into her mouth. "I never thought I'd be like this, you know? I mean, I'm acting like Steve Martin in Father of the Bride, for God's sake! They're gonna make me turn in my 'Cool Mom' letterman jacket!"

Juliet laid a hand on her sister's forearm. "I think you're doing okay."

"It doesn't feel that way," Lorelai said with a grimace.

Before Juliet could say something else, Rory burst into the kitchen, looking frantic. "What are you guys doing in here?"

Lorelai indicated the magazine. "Trying to find the best bathing suit for our respective bust sizes."

"Well get back in there!" Rory hissed, pointing to the living room.

Juliet's head jerked up at the urgency in her niece's voice. "Why? Did something happen?"

Lorelai's eyes narrowed. "Did the bag boy try something?"

Rory's brow crinkled in distress. "He's sitting in there and he's watching the movie and he's perfect and he smells really good!"

Juliet and Lorelai exchanged a smirk, each privately thinking that Dean had used way too much of whatever dudebro body spray he'd drowned himself in that night.

Rory was still talking, her whisper getting progressively louder. "And I'm stupid, I said thank you –"

Lorelai held her hands up to slow her down. "Whoa, whoa, whoa. You said 'thank you'?"

"When he kissed me," Rory admitted, avoiding her mother's eyes.

Juliet couldn't help the tiny laugh that escaped, covering her mouth with apologetic eyes as she cleared her throat. "Sorry."

Rory glared at her. "Shut up! I don't know what I'm doing here, you're sitting in the kitchen, what kind of chaperones are you?"

Lorelai looked at her daughter with mock severity. "Hey, we're not trying to be chaperones. We're in girlfriend mode."

Rory pointed back to the living room madly. "Well switch gears, 'cause I'm freaking out here!"

Lorelai smiled at Rory like she was a baby deer learning to walk. "You really like him, don't you?"

Rory sighed, her shoulders dropping. "Yeah. And I just don't want to do or say anything else that's gonna be remotely moronic."

Lorelai's isn't she cute smile grew. She shrugged. "I'm afraid once your heart is involved, it all comes out in Moron."

Juliet choked on another laugh, and Lorelai turned to her with a scowl. "Do you want a cough drop?"

"Y-you look nice. Really n-nice," Juliet mimicked, making her voice unnaturally high.

Lorelai flicked her in the forehead, and Rory finally cracked a smile.

"You're the youngest too?" Lorelai clutched her hands to one side and batted her lashes, her voice taking on an exaggerated breathy quality.

Juliet rolled her eyes, turning beet red. Rory's smile faded. "So I'll keep acting this idiotic around guys no matter how old I get?"

Lorelai laughed, ducking her head. "I'm hoping it goes away around thirty-five, but we'll have to see."

"And the guys usually act kinda stupid too," Juliet added, thinking of accidental marriage proposals and wearing too much body spray or hair gel.

"Maybe I should become a lesbian," Rory grumbled, running a hand through her hair.

Juliet shook her head ruefully. "It's not any easier with girls. Sorry."

Rory groaned, rolling her eyes. "Fine, you can stay in here."

Lorelai barked a laugh. "Thanks, kid."

Rory offered them a hesitant smile, and turned on her heel, her hair spinning out behind her. Lorelai watched her go, shaking her head as she returned to the magazine.

She looked up abruptly, frowning at Juliet. "Do I really act like an idiot around Luke?"

"No more than he does," Juliet reassured her. She thought for a moment, snickering again. "Actually, way less than he does."

Lorelai nodded, considering this as she ran her tongue over her teeth, presumably to remove a stray popcorn kernel. "Huh."

Juliet felt her mouth tighten almost imperceptibly, realizing that Lorelai wasn't the only one feeling like Steve Martin in Father of the Bride.

Notes:

As I'm sure you've all noticed, since this chapter took almost a month to be uploaded, I had trouble with this one. This is one of my favorite GG episodes to rewatch, because it's such a "no plot, just vibes" episode, it's so relaxing! However, it's very difficult to figure out how an original character will affect the plot of an episode when it's "no plot, just vibes"

Also, I can't be the only one who thinks that Dean and Christopher look NOTHING alike, aside from both being white guys with sandy brown hair. However, Rory says later in this episode that she used to have a crush on Prince Phillip from Sleeping Beauty, who does look like Christopher imo. I wonder if that was intentional haha. Please let me know what you think! The next episode/chapter is already mostly written, so it won't be a month between updates again lol