( chapter fifteen ! )
"Music? Oh— or croquet! Boating could be fun?"
Within the walls of Phantomhive Manor sit Leah Barrett and Elizabeth Midford, brainstorming ideas on how to satiate their boredom. Lacking the presence of Ciel to be a mediator and maker of the final decision, the two girls have spent the past ten minutes going back and forth. Still, neither seem entirely interested in each other's suggestions.
Sitting atop one of the lounges in the drawing room, Leah gently rubs her fingers across the material of her amber dress skirts. She is disengaged from the conversation, evident in how she trains her gaze on Elizabeth's canary yellow dress or the relentless way she presses her lips together. Perhaps had she stayed home to recuperate from her time at Noah's Ark Circus, she wouldn't feel so overwhelmed by mere conversation.
"Is it like you are not even listening to me!" complains Elizabeth. "How could you possibly not like a single activity I named?"
Effectively being snapped out of her trance, Leah swallows and reluctantly meets the blonde in the eye. "It is not that I reject your ideas.. It is just— does it not feel like we do the same few things as women? As if our options are limited. You can only have so much fun before you grow tired of it," her voice trails off towards the end of her sentence.
A sigh escapes Elizabeth, followed by a muffled agreement. Silence also fills the room and works to set a tone of slight discomfort, primarily on Leah's end, both girls letting their eyes wander to different spaces of the room.
Leah points a finger to her chin before glancing back up at her friend. "Horseback riding?" she suggests, not expecting a thrilled answer.
The Midford's face immediately lights up in a smile. "That sounds quite lovely!"
"You know how to ride, yes?" asks Leah as she stands from her seat and smooths out her dress skirt. "You can ride on my horse if not."
Shaking her head, Elizabeth follows suit and skips towards the door of the drawing room. "I believe I should be fine! I'm sure if I need help, you are capable," she grins widely.
"My Lady," Thomas interrupts before Leah has a chance to react to Elizabeth's words. "Riding can be dangerous. Surely there are safer activities you can do this afternoon?"
Stopping in her tracks, the young Barrett turns around to face her butler, face displaying utter irritation at the sound of his voice. "Thomas.. just get the horses and riding clothes. If it bothers you that much then ride behind us. Just keep quiet!" she almost raises her voice in anger.
Leah exits the room with Elizabeth on her tail, nearly stomping down the halls for the guest room she was given. Back in the drawing room, Thomas doesn't have the chance to respond before he must arrange everything, heading out of the room as well but purposely taking a different path to give the Barrett her space.
Walking down the halls, the teenagers have slowed their speed now that Leah has calmed, allowing Elizabeth to not have to exert herself to keep up. The sound of labored breathing dissipates as the brunette regains her composure, shaking her head to clear her previous thoughts of anger.
"That butler is so irritating.." complains Leah, moving her hair out of her face. Today the brown locks are styled half down with a braid going across the back while Elizabeth is wearing her infamous pigtails.
Elizabeth's face wears an expression similar to surprise. "He is not all that bad. All he did was suggest a safer activity."
The pair approach their rooms with small steps.
"I know. I think I let him anger me so much over trivial things that now Thomas merely existing seems to offend me.." Leah's voice fades, fully aware that her distaste towards the butler is unjustified.
Steps slowing to a stop, the girls enter their respective rooms to prepare for the afternoon ahead.
The grand doors of the manor are pushed open by Thomas who stands tall, a display of nature behind him, giving a false sense of security with the February air that nips at their noses. Stepping aside for the ladies, he watches them file out and make their way toward the horses he fetched and brought around to the front of the manor.
Both the Barrett and Midford wear riding habits, Leah wearing one in pine green while Elizabeth chose azure. Leah is the first of the two to attempt to get close to the animals, taking a peek at the horse's face before trying to mount herself, promptly being interrupted by the butler ten steps behind her.
"Allow me, My Lady," says Thomas as he arrives by her side, shifting himself to bend his knees.
Giving him an askew glance, Leah — with the help of Thomas — hoists herself up and places her foot upon his right shoulder. Thomas strictly follows the way to help a lady mount a horse, getting his master on the saddle and strapping in everything necessary. Settling down in her spot, Leah steadies herself on the horse and watches as Thomas assists Elizabeth before getting on a horse himself.
Leah adjusts her riding hat. "Your lead. I suppose we shall just go around the manor," she speaks up and sends a nod to Elizabeth beside her.
"Alright!" Elizabeth muses, slowly allowing her horse to begin a trot.
Following suit, Leah swerves her horse to position herself on the blonde's right side, acting as a stand-in man. Just a couple of feet behind the teenagers, Thomas keeps a respectful distance but acts as a supervisor, ready to intervene if necessary.
The ride is initially quite silent, only the faint sounds of rustling leaves or chirping birds fill the gap. Neither attempt conversation. Beneath them, the horses keep a steady pace and walk around the perimeter of Phantomhive Manor. Only occasionally does Leah glance in Elizabeth's general direction to ensure she doesn't fall from her horse.
Elizabeth glances over at Leah warily. "I am glad we are doing this. It has been some time since we have been able to be together like this," she smiles, trying to strike conversation without making her friend feel uncomfortable.
"Yes, I suppose it has been some time," responds Leah. "Life moves quite quickly, does it not?"
"It does. Soon enough, we'll be of age to make our social debuts. Then get married," Elizabeth has a face that reads of bliss for the future, unlike Leah who shows apprehension at her words.
Turning a swift corner, a breeze passes through the girl's hair. The atmosphere feels serene. Even being beside something as simple as a manor rather than the pure outdoors, it still manages to draw people in. Not far behind them, the shuffles of Thomas can be heard but go unnoticed despite the man watching them like a hawk.
"Sometimes it feels as though I barely got time to be a child.. but I suppose that is just how life is. We all have to grow up eventually," sighs Leah. Her disdain for the future ahead, no matter how prepared she could be, is clear.
Nodding along to her words, Elizabeth pouts in response but it is masked by something almost euphoric. "Well I am happy I get to grow up with you," she turns her head completely to drag her eyes across her friend's face, admiring someone who has been a constant in her life for years.
Leah's hand gripping the lead twitches and tears prick the corners of her eyes, bringing her head up to meet the green eyes of Elizabeth that hold nothing but fondness in them. For the first time in what feels like a long time, a genuine smile pulls at the corners of the brunette's mouth until her teeth show. Despite the internal issues she may struggle with when it comes to Elizabeth, she cannot deny that the girl is indeed her friend.
"I am grateful I get to grow up with you as well.." her face glows under the sunlight, a newfound sense of happiness that comforts the Barrett.
Returning their gazes ahead, the pair let their horses pick up speed and enjoy the feeling of the wind pushing against their face. As the afternoon wears away, they make gleeful — though sometimes forced — conversation and manage to hold onto topics. Even after months of little chance for interaction, Leah and Elizabeth can always somewhat keep the spark ignited within them, bleeding into the cold February air that envelops them like a hug that they cannot currently give the other.
Crash!
Leah shoots up in her bed with a gasp, the typically heavy sleeper awoken by the unpleasant — and unbelievably loud — sound of a noise that is uncomfortably close to her bedroom. Pushing the undone hair off of her shoulder, she sits up fully in a sideways kneel. Any further sound is nonexistent, making her tense up as she keeps her eyes trained on the door, despite her difficulty to see with only small gleams of moonlight being the lamp of the room.
Shaky breaths escape from her parted lips and she swings her legs over the side of the bed, reaching beneath the plush furniture to reach for a sword she keeps hidden. The cold floor pricks her fingertips while she blindly feels around before grasping the sword handle and gripping it uncomfortably tight, her knuckles would look white if her hands weren't already pale.
Rising from the safety of the soft blankets, Leah steadily approaches the door with quiet steps, keeping the sword held tightly against her back. Her footsteps are the only sound that reaches her ears, lifting a hand to wrap it around the door handle. Cracking the door open, she warily sticks her head out. Standing just a few feet outside the door, Finnian walks in a straight line in her direction, a small patch of blood shining beneath the light on the previously spotless floor.
"..Finnian?" Leah whispers, her hands clinging tightly to the door.
The gardener steps slowly as he stops before her door. "You should be asleep, My Lady! It's late, you need your rest," his words are quiet but his eyes are wide and pupils small, emitting an unnerving aura.
"What were those sounds?" asks Leah. Her eyes are equally as wide, but full of fear rather than the startling look from the typically cheerful gardener.
Finnian's eyes flicker to an undistinguishable emotion. "Don't worry about it.. We're taking care of it. Please get back in bed."
Shifting on her feet uncomfortably, Leah rubs her thumb over the handle of the sword in an attempt to make herself feel better. She opens the door a bit wider but Finnian stops the movement.
"What's happening?" the Barrett demands an answer.
"Please—"
"Answer me."
The sudden shift in Leah's tone is one Finnian has never heard before, stilling his movements. They both stare into each other's eyes. Silence.
"There is an intruder.. but please don't panic," Finnian whispers, unable to pull his eyes away from Leah's.
Leah's eyes trail over to the small pool of blood on the floor and her finger twitches. "Is Elizabeth safe?"
She is only offered a nod in response before gunshots sound from the end of the hall. Flicking her eyes to Finnian's, she glances out the door and runs down the hall, the sound of her footsteps pattering against the floor.
"It's dangerous, My Lady! Please go back to bed!" calls Finnian as he runs after her, surprised by Leah's speed.
Rounding the corner, Leah's breathing is slightly labored and her grip on the sword tightens at the sight. Standing at the end of the hallway is Dagger and Beast, staring back at her with wide eyes. Her steps slowly come to a stop and she can hear Finnian approach her from behind, unable to rip her eyes away.
"Diamond..?" Dagger's voice is low.
A shaky breath is the only thing Leah can offer in response, glancing warily at the knives clenched in his hands. 'What are they doing here? They aren't supposed to be here!'
Leah holds the sword to her stomach. "I'm sorry I lied.. I didn't mean to," she shakes her head at her words, tears pricking the corner of her eyes.
The circus performers glare, observing her uneasy stance with disdain. Against his better judgment, Dagger sends a knife straight past the Barrett's head and listens to her shriek.
"Prying into our lives. Take advantage of our hospitality. You nobles are all the same!" Beast's voice nearly becomes a yell and she retrieves her whip from her side, flashing it to frighten the teen.
There's a flash of something in Leah's eyes. Hurt. It only seems to last for a quick moment, her eyes darkening into contempt.
"You know, I did not think you people were all that bad. But it seems it stands true that the poor are only a burden," Leah clenches her teeth and wields her sword. "How dare you invade my home!"
Dagger and Beast hardly have a moment to react before the Barrett is charging at them, her feet pounding against the floor. Any previous anger she bottled up is released, showing in the swing that she aims directly for Dagger's head, only to have to dodge Beast's whip.
Hastily grabbing another knife, Dagger begins to swing and nearly cuts Leah's nightgown in the process. However, further attempts at injury fail when Finnian takes the chance to send a statue flying their way.
"Leave the lady alone," he calls out, voice lacking emotion yet a wide smile sits on his face.
Rubble and dust fill the air, prompting coughs but that doesn't deter the young Leah from taking the chance to swing rapidly at her targets. 'How is Finny capable of lifting those things? It doesn't matter.. He is giving me the upper hand.' She tries to steady her breathing as she lands a hit on Beast's arm, only to be forced to duck from a flying knife.
Eyebrows knitted in anger, Leah glances back at Finnian who holds another statue before dragging her eyes back to Dagger. "Would you like to make the fight fair?" she asks.
Throwing herself in the direction of a wall, she sticks her sword out at the same time Finnian chucks another statue, causing half of its length to shatter. Taken aback by this, Dagger and Beast don't get a moment to react before Leah violently swings at them again, almost landing a hit on Dagger before he is pulled back by Beast.
"You people are insane!" Dagger yells.
Finnian lifts a statue over his head. "We're just exterminating the mice," he pulls it back and sends it flying.
The circus performers continue deeper into the manner, but this doesn't deter Leah nor Finnian from chasing after them. Glancing behind him, Dagger grunts and throws a knife directly at Leah, missing when she ducks to the floor. But given the advantage, Beast can land a small hit with a whip on the Barrett's leg, only enough to cause pain but still reddening the skin.
Leah gasps and takes ahold of her leg, pain written all over her face as she watches Finnian throw yet another statue. 'Just where is he getting them from?' Nonetheless, she gets back on her feet and tries to follow after the pair flying down the steps but is stopped by the gardener.
"My Lady, please go back to bed. Us servants can handle it!" Finnian looks worried as he smiles down at the girl.
The Barrett pouts. "But—"
"Please.." he nearly begs. "For your safety."
A sigh escapes Leah but she nods, allowing her sword to escape her hand and drop to the floor with a rattle. Reluctantly separating herself from the situation, she heads off down the hallway and steps past the mess she helped create, lacking the will to feel sympathy for Dagger or Beast.
'It truly is a shame. I thought they were quite nice..'
When Leah rounds the corner and enters the hallway that leads to her room, her breath bitches at the sight before her. Thomas.
There is no face. It almost looks molten, like it cannot choose what form it wants to take until it settles on all black amidst the night. The eye holes are gaping and the teeth razor sharp, lacking the lips to keep them contained in it's mouth. His body— It's body is lengthy and mangled, only the legs seeming in tact to resemble any form of a human.
But just as quick as she sees it, the face uncomfortably melts back into the face she's seen since adolescence. Thomas. This can't possibly be Thomas though, can it? This isn't Thomas this is—
She lifts a shaky finger. "You're that thing I saw all those years ago.." Leah whispers, struggling to breathe.
"Whatever are you talking about, My Lady?" Thomas tilts his head, choosing to play coy.
Leah shakes her head and takes a step back, nearly tripping over her own feet. 'No..'
Cold. The night was cold.
Leah Barrett, freshly five at the time, ventured out of her room knowing that she was not meant to be doing so. That never stopped her though, she always enjoyed the feeling of being able to roam freely on her own. But she wished she hadn't that night.
The soft sound of her bare feet against the floor was the only thing to fill the silent halls, most of the servants were even retiring for the night. It was January. Barely ending the holiday season. The cold on her translucent skin hardly pushed her away, prompting her to walk further into the dark.
Children naturally hold curiosity. Leah was no exception.
She continued down the hall, turning a corner into a part of the manor she had hardly ever gazed upon. But it wasn't the dark she was scared of when she looked into the depths. It was an ungodly sight.
The molten face. The missing eyes. The mangled body. Little Leah cried out, taking the largest step back she could with her short legs. It twitched. To the creature, the young brunette was nothing short of wondrous. It spent years silently watching. Seeing the shining tears that fell down her porcelain cheeks, it was enamored.
But what was it? What invoked such feelings within a being such as Thomas? What was so interesting about a young girl? Whatever it was, the creature's interest had been peaked, unidentifiable sounds ringing out into the void.
Leah tightened her grip on her stuffed bear, breathing shakily and holding back noises of horrified sobs. She didn't even realize she was previously stuck in place until her legs bolted her back in the direction of her room, leaving behind the awful noise that only seemed to echo in her head.
Letting the sounds escape, the young girl ran directly inside her bedroom to find Anna who was no older than twelve at the time.
"Mistress, I was just about to start looking for you. What are you doing out of bed at this hour?" the maid questioned, leaning down to try and get a better look at the child.
The attempt to examine Leah was a failure though, as she immediately collided with her and wrapped her short arms around her legs. Loud sobs rang out and Leah's tears began to stain Anna's dress, the bear previously in her arms was discarded to the floor.
Anna's eyes widened. "What is wrong, Mistress?"
"I saw a monster!" cried Leah, streaks of tears painting her cheeks.
Picking up the small girl, Anna brought her over to her bed and sat her down on the plush blankets. "There, there.. Monsters don't exist. I'm sure you just thought you saw something in the dark." she tried to reassure the child but the lack of emotion on her face was clear.
"But—" Leah tried to counter the maid's argument.
"No buts. Now please try and sleep, Mistress. It is well past your bedtime. The nannies will be upset if you are in a terrible mood tomorrow," Anna stroked Leah's hair and settled her beneath the covers.
The young Barrett couldn't find it in herself to protest any longer, the weight of her exhaustion having hit her the second her head felt the pillow. Beside Anna, Leah always felt safe. But whatever Thomas was.. it haunted her for many years to come.
Moonlight streams in through the windows, illuminating Thomas' blonde hair and the strange look painting his face when he notices Leah creating distance. Her discomfort is undeniable though, shakily stepping away from him and unable to control the volume of her breathing.
"I— I need a moment.." Leah whispers, unsure of what to say but takes off for the balcony.
Thankfully — or perhaps not so much — the balcony is close by, the fresh air flooding Leah's nose and almost calming her. The wind blows through her hair, the leaves rustling in the far distance. The atmosphere is nearly perfect. 'Surely I'm just going crazy. Yes. This is all a dream. None of this is real. None of this—'
"You know you're not supposed to be around balconies unsupervised, My Lady," Thomas speaks up from behind her, standing in the entryway. "It would be a shame if we were to have a repeat."
Leah's breath hitches. Staring down at the ground beneath her, her body tenses. It only gets worse when Thomas approaches and places a firm hand on her shoulder, his eyes matching the look Finnian previously held. Empty.
The butler's eyes drag across her face. "I would advise you to step away. It is time for you to rest."
Moving back in an act of defiance, Leah's hand hits the edge of the balcony. Stiffening, her eyes connect with the butler staring down at her, unable to form a sentence. It all came rushing back.
She was awake when she shouldn't have been. She knew that. When is she ever asleep when she should be?
It was a cold April night, silence throughout the house. Not even the servants were awake in Barrett Manor at this hour, only a fourteen-year-old Leah occupied the hallways.
Her movements were slow and coordinated, almost as if she was being controlled. The hems of her nightgown brushed against her ankles, mimicking a small spring breeze.
Approaching the balcony, the young girl took in a deep breath and stared down at the ground below her. It was far. At least eight yards. Leah took a tight hold on the edge, her hands twitched and shook.
A small tear escaped her eye and fell down her cheek, illuminated by the moonlight that shone above her. Lifting a leg to settle her foot on the balcony's edge, Leah stood tall amidst the world below her. It was peaceful. Serene.
'Why am I doing this?'
She swayed back and forth.
'Would it all be worth it? For..'
Leah closed her eyes and allowed her body to fall forward, feeling the air whip across her face as she plummeted towards the ground.
'Sweet release.'
This peace was short lived though. It was all Thomas' fault. Right into his arms, she fell. A grunt from her end, feeling the appendages wrap around her in a tight hold that she hadn't felt in forever.
"My.." Thomas starts. "What are you doing awake at such an hour?"
The Barrett's eyes slowly opened, blue staring straight into the grass as they filled with disdain. "I hate you. I really do," she muttered.
Thomas stared down at the girl in his arms, a sadistic smile forming on his lips. Walking with a shake of his head, he took off for her bedroom, finding the predicament oddly entertaining.
'I just wanted to feel peace.'
"No!"
Leah shoves back against Thomas, almost throwing herself over the edge of the balcony in the process. Her breaths are shallow, only worsening when her butler grabs ahold of her wrist.
"It is bedtime," says Thomas as he swings Leah over his shoulder with ease.
The girl protests, the faint sound of continuous gunshots becoming quieter the closer they get to her room. Pounding her fists against Thomas' back, he appears unfazed as he forces the door open and places her down on the bed.
Throwing the blankets over her, Thomas moves back from the bed. "Goodnight, My Lady."
Shuddering under his gaze, Leah gives up on fighting back and settles her head against the pillows. She watches Thomas step out of the room and shut her eyes, trying to forget everything she's just seen. It was nightmare fuel.
Sadly her attempts at sleep are interrupted by the sound of an explosion, startling her and earning a rattled gasp. Sitting up in her bed, Leah gets up for the second time that night and shakily approaches the door. 'Elizabeth is surely fine.. The sound is too far for it to have affected either of our rooms.'
"Leah," the voice lacks any emotion. "Get back in the bed."
Pausing in her tracks, the brunette turns her head over her shoulder. There in the corner of the room is Thomas. Standing there in the chilly night air, staring her down. 'I thought he left..?'
Leah cannot bring herself to defy this time. The look in his eyes is much too threatening, she feels uncomfortable beyond belief as she shuffles back over to the bed. Getting under the covers, she keeps a grip on the blankets and stares at Thomas warily.
"Are you going to kill me?" she asks with a shaking voice, keeping a tight hold on her blanket.
There's a silence that overcomes the room for a moment, almost as if Thomas is thinking before he breaks it. "I would never," he doesn't lie.
"Please go away.." whispers Leah.
A hum sounds from Thomas, looking at the girl in the bed before closing his eyes. Slowly walking towards the door, he turns his head over his shoulder one last time.
"As you wish."