Ron Stoppable and the Staff Training Day
By Tinytoad
(Please note, paragraph starts are marked by_ as they keep disappearing, one day I will get the hang of this /tt)
Friday evening at the Possible house, James and Ann were ready to go line dancing but they had plenty of time, Ann liked to see Ron before they left, he was such a good boy and Ann liked him. This was a good thing as he was always coming round their house. Kim was in her room putting on her make-up even though she insisted it was her 'Ron night' not a 'date night'. Please! why couldn't she see what was obvious to Ann, that Ron was perfect for her.
Mandy, the new babysitter was in the lounge looking in dismay at the 10 year old twins, Jim and Tim, rolling around in a play fight that appeared to Mandy to be to the death.
The doorbell rang, that must be Ron, Ann opened the door then her hand flew to her mouth, something terrible must have happened judging by the look of him. He looked so miserable and broken.
"What's the matter Ron?" Ann said expecting to hear there had been a death in his family.
"Staff training day at Bueno Nacho Mrs Doctor P" he said miserably "their closed all day!"
Sometimes Ron could be rather over dramatic Ann thought.
"Oh thank goodness Ron I thought something terrible had happened" Ann said "Right have a good evening kids we're off now, and boys be good it would be nice if Mandy wanted to babysit you a second time"
Ron sat on Kim's bed as she tried to console him
"It's not the end of the world Ron we can still see a movie or do something" Kim said in a soothing tone "maybe we could eat somewhere else, how about Mucho Nacho?"
Ron flopped on his back with an arm over his eyes.
"Or magnÃfico Nacho?"
He took off the arm covering his eyes only to cover them with the other arm.
"Seriously Ron, magnÃfico Nacho is owned by the same people that own Bueno Nacho, they use the same ingredients, it's the same Nacho and their cheaper."
He covered his face with both arms.
Kim had been looking forward to her Ron night all week, was there no way she was going to give up.
Beep beep the kimmunicator went off
"Hi Wade, what's the sitch?" Kim said answering it
"How's Ron coping" Wade asked " their closed all day"
"Not well" Kim told him " if only he would uncover his eyes I could use the puppy dog pout on him but he's too depressed"
"Tragic" Wade said "I got a call on your website, the Golden Monkey Idol of Marrakesh has been stolen"
"Monkeyfist" Kim said "can you get us a ride Wade?"
"Already sorted"
"Please and thank you"
Just then there was the sound of a rocket whizzing through the air below Kim, there was a loud bang, a teenaged girl screamed and Kim heard Mandy shout
"That's it, I've had enough of you two, your sister's here she can look after you"
The front door slammed and it was clear the babysitter had left the house
"O man, can this evening get any worse" Kim groaned "now I'm stuck with the tweeebs"
A short while later and Kim, Ron and the two twins Jim and Tim were sat on a cargo plane. Kim sat with the pilot and Ron sat with the twins in the cargo hold.
"Thanks for the ride Mr Fletcher" Kim said
"No problem Kim after the way you helped me with my marriage" the pilot said with gratitude
"No big Mr. Fletcher, anyone could see the way Mrs Fletcher flirted with other men, you're much better off divorced" Kim told him
"So what are you carrying?" Kim asked
"Microwave Nachos their being returned to the supplier"
Kim grimaced " What are they like?"
The pilot shuddered but composed himself "Oh they taste er unique, the flavourings do help to disguise the high levels of fat and over processed meat, they have to be returned to the manufacturer. Apparently food that is 98% cholesterol is now deemed unhealthy" he pulled a face like this was health and safety gone mad "here take a couple, don't worry about keeping them refrigerated there's so much preservatives their safe to eat for the next 25 years"
Not wishing to appear ungrateful Kim put them in her pack.
In the cargo hold Ron had one job to do, stop Jim and Tim wreaking the plane controls. Without his daily supply of food from Bueno Nacho his cholesterol levels were dropping to dangerously healthy levels leaving him depressed and weak.
"I still don't get why you still need babysitting" Ron asked the boys "haven't you been like 10 the whole time me and Kim have been going through high school, I'd have thought you would have changed a little in the last 4 years"
Clearly they did still need babysitting "Cool these Nachos glow in the dark" the boys said with delight "Let's see if we can harvest the Cesium out of them for rocket fuel"
Poor Ron, he was too weak to stop them and by the time they had landed in Marrakesh Jim and Tim had a container of dangerously unstable rocket fuel that fizzed and bubbled away.
Having been told the details of the robbery they all stood on the outskirts of Marrakesh, looking out over a sea of shimmering sand that stretched to the horizon. There in the sand was the trail of many small paws, leading off into the countless miles of sand dunes. The tracks of Monkeyfist's Monkey ninja. They had gone into the desert.
"Wake up Rufus, wake up buddy" Ron said, Rufus poked his head out of Ron's pocket and yawned "I want you to go off and get us some Nachos"
"Ok" squeaked Rufus and he scampered off.
"We need transport" Kim said looking across the sea of beautiful but cruel and unforgiving sand.
Beside them was a bar. Bright and tacky neon sign lit up with 'The Belly Dancers Navel' and '24 hour bar, live entertainment'. A woman in traditional Arabic dress had walked out. For a minute she had stared at Kim's navel, on view with her crop top. Then she walked up to Ron and spoke in a heavy Arabic accent
"One camel"
"That's not enough" Ron said
"Two? Three camels?"
"That's still not enough we need four" said Ron, thinking that was how many they would need to get across the desert
"Four camels you drive a hard bargain!" the woman said, unknown to Ron he had just sold Kim to the belly dancing bar.
As Ron and the two twins stared out mesmerised by the sand they didn't notice the woman clamp her hand over Kim's mouth and drag her into the bar.
After a while a man wearing a fessi hat and with a toothy grin bought out 4 camels
"Where did these camels come from?" Asked Tim
"Where's Kim?" Asked Jim.
Ron first looked at the camels and then at the bar
"Ah" Ron said "I think I might have just sold Kim"
Ron walked into the bar, being 10 the twins clearly had to stay outside, a bouncer blocked his way
"ID" the bouncer demanded.
Ron got out what ID he had, his Bueno Nacho loyalty card (well used) and his Middleton Library card (never used).
The next instant he was thrown out onto the ground.
The twins looked down at Ron with disdain
"Rocket fuel?"
"It's gotta be done!"
Out of their stainless steel flask the twins poured a little of the fuel they had made then ran for cover, dragging Ron with them shouting
"Hick-bicka-boo?"
"Hoo-sha!"
With a loud Bang the fuel exploded and a hole in the wall was blown. Customers, staff and tourist women enslaved into being belly dancers stumbled out coughing. When the twins saw a red head they grabbed Kim and with Ron they sprinted to the camels and were riding into the desert.
It was hard for Ron to keep his eyes off of Kim in her slavegirl belly dancer costume. The red slippers with a pointed toe that curled up, baggy trousers gathered at the ankle and a waist band that sat much lower on her hips than she liked and a crop top little more than a bikini top with short sleeves. With a see through veil covering the lower half of her face and a diamond hanging on her forehead and another gold mounted one pieced into her belly button. With a gold slave collar locked round her neck she was the vision of an Arabian Nights belly dancer. To Ron she was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen, she took his breath away.
If Ron couldn't keep his eyes off of her, Kim wouldn't look at Ron. There was a long and awkward silence.
"I guess your pretty mad, me selling you to be a belly dancer" he said, then a thought occurred to him
"It wasn't how many camels I got for you, I'm sure I could have got more"
"No Ron" Kim said in her most acidic tone "I'm mad about you selling me in the first place, not how many camels you got"
"Good because four camels was a really good price" Ron remarked
"Ron, stop talking"
They crested a dune and below them was an old French Foreign Legion Fort, the monkey tracks led inside. They dismounted
"Here's the sitch, I'll go down and get the idol" Kim started to explain her plan " and you can whoa"
Suddenly Ron had taken Kim in his arms and swept her off her feet so she was almost horizontal held in his arms "Not this time Kimmie" Ron planted a long kiss on Kim's lips "this time it's a job for Ron, Ron Stoppable" Then he pulled Kim back on her feet "I'll see you in five babe, Buh-yah" and he winked at her as he walked down the dune toward the Fort.
"Ron what has gotten into you? there are monkeys down there" Kim called after him.
What had gotten into him was the cholesterol levels in his blood had returned to normal, the sudden new level of health had given such a boost to his system his confidence had gone sky high. Sadly his abilities were just the same and he quickly tripped and fell, rolling head over heels down the dune
"Do you think he'll ever stop rolling?" The twins asked
"Not till he gets to the bottom" said Kim.
Kim's original plan was for Ron to keep the tweeebs safe whilst she dealt with Monkeyfist, now Ron was in a dizzy heap at the bottom of the dune she would have to rely on their good judgement, which did seem optimistic.
"Now Jim, Tim, this is very important you stay here where it's safe and I'll be back soon" Kim said
The twins watched Kim walk down the dune
"Staying put sounds boring" said Jim
"We're not taking orders from someone dressed as a belly dancer" said Tim.
They both sneaked down the dune behind her.
Once she was inside the old Fort Kim quickly found Monkeyfist and his ninja in a large hall and on a table the Golden Monkey Idol of Marrakesh
"Now, my monkey ninja as was foretold in an ancient prophecy" Monkeyfist told his monkey ninja "you will gain the ancient art of Monkey Shibari"
"I think I'll take that idol" said Kim
"Kim Possible, dressed in local costume I see (Monkeyfist's eyes lingered rather too long on Kim) Now is the time for you, my Monkey ninja, to practice your Monkey Shibari, tie up Kim Possible" Monkeyfist ordered.
O'dear, Kim thought, that is a lot of Monkey Ninjas and they all have coils of rope. Still they seem fascinated by the diamond in my belly button I could try my new skill of belly dancing to distract them.
(One minute later)
Ron watched as Kim came sprinting out the Fort
"Ron, get in that Fort and grab that idol" Kim shouted at Ron as she ran past him. She was being pursued by a large band of ninja monkeys who all seemed highly excited.
Ron flinched away "monkeys, I hate monkeys" he cried out
Kim had clearly ran completely round the fort as she again ran past him
"I tried my belly dance and now their rather frisky" shouted Kim as she again disappeared round the back of the Fort still pursed by the excited monkeys.
Again she ran round "Get moving Ron they seem very amorous" as she kept running round still with the monkeys in hot pursuit.
"Ron" Jim called to him
"You can't go in there unaided" Tim said to Ron, he was still weak from the lack of cholesterol.
The twins hadn't stayed out the way and had come down to Ron
"You need a Nacho fuelled boost to fight Monkeyfist, eat this" they told him
"I don't want to" Ron said looking with horror at the microwave Nacho
"In it goes" said Jim pushing it in Ron's mouth
"Keep chewing" Tim ordered
"This is horrendous" Ron said with a full mouth, turning a bit green
"Do it for Kim"
Gagging Ron swallowed the last mouthful
"Now go save Kim!"
Ron staggered forward into the Fort his stomach doing somersaults.
Inside Ron was soon face to face with Monkeyfist
"Ron Stoppable, so called master of Monkey Kung-fu, prepare to face a real master of Tai Shing Pek Kwar" Monkeyfist said taking up a fighting stance.
The manufacturers of microwave Nachos had never envisaged anyone actually consuming a whole one and even Ron's digestive system couldn't cope with the horror in his stomach.
"I'm going to throw up" Ron said looking very green now. Then he did.
At the same time the Monkey Ninjas carried in a tightly bound and hogtied Kim Possible.
A short while later and two heads were outside the Fort, facing away from it and towards the setting sun. Kim and Ron buried upto their necks in the sand and left to their fate.
"Kim" Ron said "I can't help thinking this is partially my fault"
"It's OK Ron" Kim said "I can face anything if your by my side"
"That means a lot" Ron said a bit tearful.
"Look my brothers" Kim said "Jim, Tim, dig us out boys"
"It's time for us to take Monkeyfist down" the twins said together
"Dig us out first Jim, Tim, where are going? Tweeebs come back and dig us out of this sand! TWEEEBS!" Kim shouted.
Just then Rufus ran up carrying a take away bag
"Buh-yah Rufus did you get Nachos?" Ron asked
"No Nachos" Rufus said opening the bag "kebabs!"
Doing anything in the desert makes you thirsty, when Monkeyfist and his troop of ninja returned to the hall he saw a stainless steel flash by the golden monkey idol. Ah a drink he thought picking it up and giving it a shake to see how much there was in it. The twins rocket fuel didn't react well to being shaken.
Behind Kim and Ron the Fort exploded. The straws to their drinks were within reach of their mouths and every now and then Rufus would give them a piece of kebab.
"This is beautiful isn't it" Ron said
"Yes it is" Kim agreed.
The sun setting over the desert dunes, the Monkey Ninjas blown out of the Fort and flying through the sky miles off into the desert.
"They'll be OK won't they?" Ron asked
"Just stunned" Kim said "Monkey Ninjas seem to be indestructible"
Yes it was beautiful, it would be better if they weren't buried upto their necks in sand and the tweeebs hurried up and dug them out but yes Ron, Kim thought, this is beautiful.
Just then the golden monkey idol, red hot and smoking but quite unharmed landed next to Ron.
When Mr Fletcher landed his plane to take them home Ron asked if they could make a stop, at The Belly Dancers Navel.
"Did you have a successful mission?" Mr Fletcher asked as they flew finding it hard to keep his eyes off Kim in her Belly Dancers costume.
"Yes we did" Kim told him, the idol was back in the Marrakesh Museum, the owners of The Belly Dancers Navel were in the Marrakesh Police custody and they were flying the freed slave belly dancers home, no big.
"The only hard bit will be explaining to Mum and Dad how I got a Navel piecing" Kim told him.
Meanwhile back in the cargo hold the twins were fast asleep in a corner. Ron was surrounded by the freed belly dancers, freed but still in their costumes. As you can understand they were very grateful. Ron's face was covered in the lipstick prints of many kisses. It had been tough for him surviving a day without Bueno Nacho but somehow he had survived he thought, as another beautiful belly dancer kissed him.
The End.
Please note that this story is not meant to be offensive to the people of Marrakesh, who would not stand for bar like the one described in my story and do in my story arrest the owners. Rather I was thinking of old Hollywood films like Arabian nights/sinbad. I do hope that no one is offend as that is not my intention in anyway /tt.