"I do not own Ranma or Tenchi Muyo. This is my first fic after reading many from various sites. Over the past 20 years, I have read many mangas, mostly slapstick comedy and shōnen, so most of my ideas are comedic and bizarre. Well, here goes nothing..."
Title: Ranma : Divine for a Day (a Ranma/Tenchi Muyo Crossover)Prologue: A Slip-Up of Cosmic Proportions
Nerima had never been a place for normality, but even by its standards, today was weird.
It all started with yet another all-out Nerima brawl.
Ranma Saotome was, as usual, being chased by an angry mob of his fiancées, rivals, and other assorted lunatics. He had barely managed to dodge a wooden bokken, a barrage of spatulas and a flying bicycle, forcing Ranma into a desperate mid-air split to avoid getting hit
"Ranma, stop running and take responsibility!" Ukyo shouted, brandishing her battle spatula.
Shampoo, still in hot pursuit, launched an entire toilet at his head.
"Shampoo want wedding NOW!" Shampoo declared, leaping from a rooftop with two toilet lids strapped to her arms like Amazonian shields.
His sweetheart Akane had also joined the chase, and there she was, right behind him wielding a massive mallet with righteous fury—though even she hadn't quite figured out why. Because, well… this is Ranma .
Mousse, squinting to track Ranma's movements through his abysmal eyesight, misjudged the chaos and hurled a family sedan into the fray.
Not a toy car. Not a scooter. A full-sized HONDA CIVIC.
"YOU CANNOT ESCAPE YOUR DESTINY, SAOTOME!" Mousse bellowed, hurling the car like an Olympic shot-putter with a grudge.
Ranma's eyes widened. "WHO EVEN THROWS A WHOLE CAR!?"
The Honda spun through the sky in glorious slow-motion, narrowly missing Ranma—
—before crashing directly onto Kuno.
WHUMP.
Kuno, still mostly conscious beneath the totaled vehicle, heroically raised one hand from the wreckage.
"Alas… this is but a minor setback…" he wheezed.
All of this was business as usual for Ranma—until something very not usual happened.
The Moment Everything Went Wrong (or Right?)
Ranma dodged a particularly aggressive hammer swing from Akane, leapt off a rooftop, and suddenly found himself face-to-face with a swirling rift in reality.
"Oh, come on!" he groaned, trying to adjust his mid-air trajectory.
But before he could even attempt an escape, Ryoga came barreling in like a human wrecking ball, missing his mark and slamming into Ranma mid-jump.
The force of the impact sent both martial artists tumbling straight into the cosmic void.
As soon as they passed through the portal, the fighting behind them immediately stopped.
Everyone blinked in unison.
Nabiki, casually observing from a safe distance, sipped her soda. "Huh. That's new."
The Divine Realm
Ranma felt like he was falling for hours—through stars, shifting colors, and weird flashes of stuff he didn't understand.
Then, with a sudden thud, he landed face-first on an impossibly soft, glowing floor.
"Owww…"
"Welcome, Ranma Saotome," a calm, yet slightly amused voice greeted him.
Ranma groaned and rolled onto his back, rubbing his head.
Before him stood three incredibly powerful, incredibly smug-looking women.
They radiated an aura of pure cosmic energy, their very presence feeling god-tier ridiculous.
Ranma blinked. Once. Twice.
Then he sat up and squinted.
"Who… what… where—?" He shook his head and got to his feet. "Okay, what the heck is goin' on!?"
The red-haired one, Washu, grinned like a fox and held up a clipboard. "You, Ranma Saotome, have been selected for one day of godhood!"
Ranma blinked. "…Come again?"
The serene blue-haired woman, Tsunami, smiled kindly. "For one day, you will possess divine abilities. You may use them however you see fit."
Ranma tilted his head. "Why?"
The smirking dark-haired one, Tokimi, casually inspected her nails. "Because watching your life is more entertaining than most celestial-level dramas."
Washu snickered. "Seriously, you've survived stuff that shouldn't be survivable. You're statistically impossible. So we figured, why not?"
Ranma scratched his head. "Wait. You guys've been watchin' me!?"
Tsunami nodded. "You're quite fascinating. The fact that you've endured so much chaos without breaking the universe is… impressive."
Ranma raised an eyebrow. "And you're tellin' me Ryoga ain't here too?"
Washu snorted. "Oh, he landed in another dimension. Some kinda medieval fantasy world. Should be fun."
Ranma blinked. "Wait, so you're sayin' Ryoga got isekai'd!?"
Washu smirked. "Yup. Hope he can handle a sword."
Ranma shrugged. "Eh. Not my problem."
Meanwhile, in Another Dimension…
Ryoga landed face-first in the middle of a chaotic medieval battlefield.
Horns blared. Drums pounded. Soldiers roared.
A heavily armored general with a cape the size of a small tent pointed dramatically toward the sky.
"BEHOLD! THE PROPHECY IS FULFILLED! OUR HERO HAS ARRIVED!"
Ryoga groaned, his face still buried in the dirt.
"Huh…?"
The ground trembled as an entire platoon of knights in gleaming armor knelt before him.
From behind them, a breathtaking princess with hair that defied gravity rushed forward, her eyes sparkling.
"Oh, great chosen one! Please, save our kingdom!"
Ryoga blinked blearily, barely processing the dozen war horses, trebuchets, and an actual dragon in the background.
He squinted at the princess.
He squinted at the massive army bowing to him.
He squinted at the flag with his face on it.
Then his brain did what it always did in times of stress.
It short-circuited.
"RAAANMAAA! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!"
...
A nearby bard immediately began composing a song about "The Hero's Battle Cry." and strummed a dramatic chord.
"RANMA, IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!" (Echo: "It's all your fault!")
The heavens did quake, the soldiers did halt!
"RANMA, IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!" (Echo: "It's all your fault!")
The hero hath spoken, his fury exalt!
The soldiers ROARED in approval.
The princess wiped a tear. "Truly, we are blessed by such holy words."
Somewhere in the Divine Realm, Washu was on the floor, wheezing from laughter.
Tsunami sighed. "You just threw him in there for fun, didn't you?"
Washu, tears in her eyes, barely choked out, "Oh, absolutely."
Tsunami, who had been patiently waiting, clapped her hands together. "Now, before we proceed—"
Another portal opens…
With zero warning, Ryoga is violently dumped into the Divine Realm, covered in medieval armor, holding a massive broadsword, and looking utterly traumatized.
Ranma blinked. "Huh."
Ryoga gasped for air. "D—DRAGONS! GIANT SNAKES! WHY DID EVERYONE THINK I WAS SOME KIND OF CHOSEN HERO!?"
Washu grinned. "Ah, right on time. That was a fun little detour."
Ranma smirked. "Ya threw him in there just for laughs, didn't ya?"
Washu winked. "Oh, I'd never do something so petty."
Tokimi snorted. "Yes, you would."
Tsunami cleared her throat. "Now that we have both of you here, we should clarify—only one of you will receive godhood today."
Ryoga, still panting and traumatized, slowly processed those words.
Then he turned to Ranma.
His eye twitched.
"You—"
Washu quickly snapped her fingers.
Another portal opened underneath Ryoga.
He fell through screaming.
Then the portal snapped shut.
Washu dusted off her hands. "Okay! Now we can proceed."
Ranma, who had just witnessed Ryoga get yeeted out of godhood eligibility in under five seconds, raised an eyebrow.
"Ya really didn't wanna deal with him, huh?"
Washu grinned. "Nope."
Ranma let that sink in.
He grinned.
"Heh. Neat."
Meanwhile, Back in Nerima…
A new swirling portal suddenly opened above the Tendo backyard.
Ryoga, still wearing full medieval armor, dropped straight into the koi pond.
Splash!
Silence.
Akane stared.
Shampoo and Mousse blinked.
Genma, now holding a newspaper, looked up. "Huh. Thought he'd be gone longer."
A very wet, very tiny P-chan surfaced, sword still strapped to his back.
"P-CHAN!? WHERE DID YOU GET THAT ADORABLE LITTLE COSTUME!?"
P-chan let out a high-pitched, traumatized squeal.
"BWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
His entire tiny body vibrated with PTSD.
Akane gleefully scooped up the flailing pig, hugging him tightly.
"LOOK AT YOU! YOU'RE LIKE A LITTLE KNIGHT!" She squealed. "OH! Maybe you're on a QUEST! What should I call you? SIR OINKSALOT?!"
P-chan, meanwhile, was already scrambling wildly in Akane's grip, his tiny hooves flailing in sheer panic. His eyes darted to the portal—still flickering, still open.
This was his chance.
With one final "BWEEEEE!", he twisted out of Akane's grasp, landed on the ground with a tiny clank of his armor, and sprinted at full speed toward the swirling void.
His hooves pounded against the dirt.
His breath came in frantic little squeals.
The portal was right there—just a few more steps—
And then…
He took a wrong turn, vanishing into the great unknown.
Silence.
Akane blinked. "…Wait. Where did P-chan go?"
Genma turned a page in his newspaper. "Eh. He'll be back."
Akane pouted. "Aww… but I wanted to make him a tiny flag and everything!"
Nabiki thought to herself. "It's Ryoga, who knows where he ends up? Knowing his luck, he accidentally discovered Atlantis."
From the heavens, Washu cackled. "This is why I watch Nerima."