Disclaimer: I don't own Oshi No Koi or Naruto.

Ichigo Saitou clapped his hands twice, bringing an end to the mock performance with a deeply satisfied look on his face and a glint in his glasses. Their performance would never fail to stun him no matter how many times he saw it and that was considering his high standards.

Or maybe it was his own bias speaking, he had bet everything on them after all.

"That will be all for today everyone. Thank you for your hard work." Beady brown eyes stared past the numerous production team members, nearly dropping their equipment in relief and focused directly onto those standing on the slightly raised stage.

B-Komachi

'At this rate it won't be long now until she has the world in her grip and I will be the one to get her there!' The man wholeheartedly thought so, walking forward with a pep in his step, towards the main stars of the show.

His sweaty stars. Unfortunately the air conditioning in this part of the building had broken down and was being fixed at this very moment.

So he could only deal with the consequences.

"President…."

The man winced slightly at being the unwilling target of so many glares and took a page from his favorite idol, putting on a weak facade, as he stretched his lips back into a sheepish smile.

He spoke.

"Sorry Watanabe, I know these work conditions aren't suitable but what can you do?" He even clasped his hands for good measure but only got disgusted eyes in return.

"Suitable work conditions he says." Solidified scorn nearly dripped from Meimei's tone, her bob cut bouncing as she looked away from the man.

"Maybe he should dance up here in these uniforms! See how he likes it!"

"Hah! As if he'd do that! He seemed perfectly content watching us work up a sweat!"

"-maybe we can contact a union? I'm sure they'd help-"

"No! We're too small for them to care-"

Ichigo, who had been growing increasingly pale with fear as the conversation continued, noticed the smiles on the girls' faces and let out a calming sigh.

"Okay girls sorry, sorry. No need to play with me anymore-" He hadn't even finished when the melodious giggles bursted from their bodies.

"-sorry Ichigo san! You should have seen the look on your face-!"

"Don't act so innocent, President!" Meimei teased. "You've been the one making us suffer in these sweltering uniforms for the past two hours."

Ichigo rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. He did feel particularly guilty about it.

"How about I make it up to you girls? You have been working so-"

"A raise?!" the girls interrupted in unison, nearly giving him a heart attack.

"No!" he denied instantly, his hands flailing as he tried to calm down, crossing his hands into a X. "No raise!"

The girls' disappointed grumbles filled the room, and Ichigo's eyes twitched. 'It's like dealing with children... Even Aqua and Ruby aren't like this…'

He pulled out his phone, trying to shift the conversation away from raises.

He shivered.

"Alright, I've got a new gig for you all. It's a really-"

Ichigo blinked and looked at his empty hand. The man then glanced to the left to see them huddled around his phone with a sigh.

Typical.

Still after looking at them for a minute he took a double take.

'Wait a minute! Where is Ai?!' Ichigo thought, his heart suddenly skipping a beat. She had been skulking behind the group a second ago, but now... now she was nowhere to be found!

His head snapped toward the open backstage door. Without thinking, he broke into a run, ignoring the few lingering staff members and producers still milling about. His mind raced as he bolted down the corridor, calling out as he went.

After all, how could he leave that airhead alone with so many interested parties around?! He still hadn't forgotten that fiasco where she nearly outed them on TV!

"Ai!" His voice echoed through the backstage area.

He turned the corner, nearly colliding with a couple of assistants who were busy with their clipboards, but he didn't stop. His phone was out in an instant, dialing her number, but the call went straight to voicemail.

Dear god almighty. It's over.

"Where the hell could she be?!"

A stage manager who had been sorting through props saw him running and shouted, "Hey, Ichigo! You need something?"

"Have you seen Ai?!" Ichigo asked, not slowing his pace.

The stage manager shrugged.

Ichigo cursed under his breath but didn't stop as he zoomed up and down the building in a whirlwind getting only negative responses the entire time.

It was when he reached the parking lot, at the corner of the lot, he was able to spot her. She was far too eye-catching otherwise.

"Ai!" The woman froze, caught in the act of sneaking off, was she heading towards a car? Miyako?

What on earth were they doing?!

The man knew he had been heard when the woman flashed him a strained smile, then immediately bolted toward the car, surprising him with her unexpected speed.

"Hey, wait! Miyako, what the hell are you doing?!" Ichigo was baffled, as he tried to catch up, but it was impossible, she was already in the car.

He could only watch in shock as his 'wife' sped off into the distance with his idol, who was still technically on the clock.

That was until it hit him, he had a phone, after all.

"Idiot!" Miyako scolded the idol in a panic as they drove off to their destination.

"Sorry, guess I wasn't fast enough." The idol shrugged as if saying "what could you do?" tilting her head cutely portraying a picture of pure uselessness.

The reincarnated baby could only watch the scene in surprise, secured tightly inside his car seat along with his sister. This hadn't been the scene he had predicted at all when the gold digger had picked them up today.

"I didn't know mom could disobey the president! She's such a herbivore!" Ruby whispered as Aqua nodded slowly watching the two women pass the phone back and forth between each other in a panic.

And it was true. In both fake babies' lives, they had never seen the idol exactly go against the man once, so it was quite something for them to behold.

"I'm not answering it. It was you who got us into this! Get us out!"

"But you're his wife. You should know how to-"

"It must be something important but how could I miss it?" Aqua mumbled feeling a little unsettled at the scene.

Ruby was about to speak but it seemed their mother had finally plucked up her courage.

"Ahaha President Sato, how are you? Great work today by the way!"

"Oh, right, Saitou! No, no kidnapping here, don't worry! Ah, Miyako-san knows exactly where I am, she's actually helping me, believe it or not. No, I'm not running away, and no, I'm definitely not coming out! Definitely not!" She let out a nervous laugh, which did nothing to hide the fact that she had just accidentally ratted out her partner-in-crime, her eyes darting toward Miyako, who looked like she'd just seen a ghost.

"Do I have a problem? Yes, there's a problem, I uhm-" Aqua watched as his mother fumbled for words, glancing back at them as if looking for a reason, before her face went from unsure to cunning in less than a second.

"Need pads?"

"Bwah?!" Both babies exclaimed, their eyes going wide in perfect synchronized shock, like they'd just been told that Santa was a tax evader.

What the hell was this?

"I-I'll leave you t-two to it Miyako. I'll just catch a ride home. Maybe have a beer or seven." The mortified man hung up without a second thought clearly traumatized by what he was forced to hear.

An equally mortified wife put down the phone in numbness wondering if idols were different creatures from humans.

There was silence in the car for a moment.

"For such a talented idol you sure are something…what could ever have possessed you to tell him that?" The woman's eyes twitched as the embarrassment continued to wash over her. Was the saying true? That the prettier you were the dumber you became?

"How else was I supposed to get him to stop? He would have kept asking if I didn't." The idol asked innocently as if not even knowing she did anything wrong.

'Shameless!'

"Shouldn't you have thought of that before you wrapped me up in this crazy scheme?! No, I even remember telling you to make one up before we left. You're making me regret sticking my head out for you! Why can't you take anything seriously?!" The woman laid her head on the wheel in pain. Why was she regulated to this duty again-

She glanced back at the surprised two year old eyes and sighed. Right. Gods in human bodies.

"Sorry….I'm no good at this kind of thing. I did try though. I don't think President Sato will make a big problem anymore. " Miyako glanced over to the idol and nearly growled seeing the girl still act oblivious.

Miyako bit her lips trying to contain the irritation before she released it with a sigh. She knew her duty was to take care of the family so she didn't go across her boundaries. How could she jeopardize her future with a handsome young model for something like this?

'Hah, being a guardian is difficult!'

"Do you at least have an idea what you're going for?" She asked, still a bit concerned considering how inexperienced the woman was on the subject. Those babies deserved the world after all.

Ai grinned.

"Of course I do. How can a mother not instinctively know what her children need? Isn't that right Aqua? I'm sure I'll know the minute I get there." The mother turned around making baby faces towards the children who reacted quite excitedly as they always did.

Miyako sighed. Why could they never act cute like that with her when their mother couldn't even remember their names right? It was always those blank or condescending looks that made her feel like dirt.

The woman did not pout.

"That's Ruby."

"Oh yeah."

Miyako kissed her teeth. Damn idol.

"Why do you want to do this anyway? I can tell you it's nothing all that special, in fact you should be happy you don't get to do it yourself. I'd certainly pay to get someone to do this for me." The woman didn't understand why the idol was so adamant on being the one to do it. This wasn't some idealized world where mundane tasks were glorious. They were just chores really but having been whittled at for weeks before, she could only cave in to the sincerity.

Ai didn't say anything at first, stretching out her body with a satisfying sigh with a relaxed smile.

"...well I don't really have a reason to tell you. I am thankful for you and the director for helping me out so much, I'd never be able to have everything I wanted so easily without your help but…" She glanced back at her silent children.

"I feel like I'm not very involved really. Sure I take care of them whenever I'm home but what about everything else? I don't even recognize the clothes they're wearing now. Time is going by yet I can hardly remember doing many things for them regular mothers do. It's a bit depressing…"

Ai waved her hand in panic.

"-I'm not blaming you of course! After all I wouldn't even be able to take care of them had you not but I just really want to do something for them as their mother-wait why are you crying?!"

"I'm not crying, this is sweat." Miyako wiped her eyes with the tissue, not forgetting to send some to the back, towards the sniffles she heard.

She really hadn't thought about it from her perspective and it showed.

"Ruby, Aqua! Mommy needs recharging!" The woman crouched down spreading her arms wide allowing the toddlers to rush her like bulls as soon as the car door opened.

"Mom, are you bringing us with you?!" Aqua…no Ruby asked, getting the woman to smile as she hugged them closer.

"Of course-"

"Not. There is no way that is happening! Did you forget they have a viral video over the internet with millions of views?! How will it look if the same two babies are spotted with you?!" Miyako, the voice of reason, shut down the entire idea, getting sad looks directed towards her.

"But-"

"No! If you wanted them to come, you should have brought some covering clothing for them too." Ai dropped her head at the true statement wishing she had thought a bit further.

"Well I guess she's right, kids. Don't worry I'll be quick. Don't forget to cheer mommy on!" They were her greatest supporters after all!

"You can do it mom."

"Yeah, show that store who's the best mommy!"

"Ehehe! Thank you!" Standing up with a large smile on her face, the woman fluffed her hat and adjusted her shades.

She glanced back at the exasperated and star struck eyes with a wide practiced smile, feeling like she had reached the peak of motherhood.

Absolutely nothing could ruin her day!

"I'm off!"

The family of three came to an abrupt stop in the middle of the store aisle, taking in the chaotic scene around them.

One was a small blonde boy, no more than three years old, wearing a bright blue t-shirt with cartoon animals on it, an even smaller girl, no more than two, was dressed in a soft pink dress with frilly edges, her hair tied in two tiny pigtails and finally, the man towering over them, clearly their father, was dressed in a casual, relaxed outfit of jeans and a t-shirt.

"Daddy, do you see that?" the little girl suddenly asked, her voice sleepy as she rubbed her eyes while perched on her father's back.

"I do. Got any questions, Hima?" the man replied with a warm smile, clearly amused by the scene unfolding before them.

"Why is that lady swimming in pampers?" She empathized her point by pointing.

It was a reasonable question.

Naruto glanced from his little girl to the woman, who was more or less being swallowed by a mountain of diaper boxes. Only her left arm, a purse, and a few strands of purple hair were visible amidst the pile. He even caught the slight, embarrassed flinch she gave, a clear sign she was fully aware of their presence.

Naruto thought of an answer.

"She must've been sleepy, Hima, just like you." He figured it was best to save her the explanation about how strange some people could be for now.

"Ohhhh, I get it..." His little princess seemed satisfied with that, and with a soft yawn, she snuggled closer, her eyes fluttering close as she drifted off to sleep, already tuckered out.

"Hmmm." Naruto glanced at Boruto who was already sleeping in the cart seat…thing. He always got confused with the names in this world.

Leaving the cart slightly behind him, Naruto moved over to the woman and kneeled down taking a pamper box from where he estimated her face was.

Regular blue eyes met freaky purple six point stars.

Naruto gave a long, very surprised look at the unique shape. He had almost thought….there could be no way it was a dojutsu right? After getting over his surprise he addressed her.

"Would you like some help or is this some kind of new trend?" He could only assume she was a teen with how short she was.

"...help please sir."

"Right then, up you go." Naruto reached down and pulled the woman up with a single hand, setting her back on her feet forgetting his strength a bit.

So he was unaware she was still a bit dizzy when he brushed her off and moved around the adult sized diapers that had fallen on her.

'Hmm they don't have the brand I like.' Naruto sighed seeing all the generic diapers as he glanced between them trying to make a decision.

Of course he was aware of the diaper swimmer creeping up behind him with her cart.

"Thank you for your help!" She spoke up suddenly and Naruto kneeled to check another brand.

"Naruto Uzumaki, kid, don't worry about it. It was nothing," he said, dismissing the compliment with a casual wave. After a moment of thought, he settled on a brand, but decided to research it first to avoid any issues. He still remembered the rash Boruto had gotten the last time.

As he stood and placed the item in the cart, Naruto turned his head, raising an eyebrow. The woman was doing the exact same thing, choosing the same brand, and then looked up at him directly, with an innocent smile that was almost too bold.

"Is there something wrong, Uzumaki-san?"

Naruto fought back a snort. "Is there a reason you're following me?"

She looked a little flustered. "Ah, sorry. I'm just new to this, and you seem... very experienced." she said, her eyes flicking toward the two children, clearly of different age groups. Naruto's eye twitched, sensing the underlying implication about his personal life. There was nothing wrong with a healthy sex life, and he had been old enough for quite some time.

"Are you shopping for your family kid? Brother or sister?" Naruto was confused by the way her eye twitched but she still answered with that strange smile.

"Yes! There have been two new additions to the family and I want to try my best for them!"

Naruto eyebrows rose. Twins huh? His sympathies. Just one at a time was a lot for him.

"I see but you should probably ask before-"

"Can I please follow you Uzumaki san? I promise I'll be a good student." The woman jumped forward and clasped both their hands together getting the man to chuckle.

"...anyone ever tell you that you're shameless?" It was certainly refreshing from most other people he encountered here.

"Many times!"

A bit overwhelmed at the sparkling eyes that were clearly not natural, Naruto glanced to his own kids and remembered when he wished for help with them once upon a time.

He nodded.

"Alright but-" Naruto paused as the woman broke out into a exaggerated cheer and sweat dropped, wondering if she was always this expressive. It was certainly a strange sight but then again he was even stranger wasn't he?

When she finally calmed down the Uzumaki threw a glance to her cart. She was right she really did need help huh?

"You should probably put those ones you got back, those are adult diapers you know?" He thought it was pretty obvious with the big label on it but-

She gasped as if he just told her, her cat died. "Really?! You're saying I got injured for nothing?!"

"...did you really not read them before trying to get them?" It was baffling how airheaded this woman was proving to be.

Ai would later admit that she'd learned a lot in that one day than she had in months.

"Wait, Uzumaki-san, you're saying these aren't good? I give these to Ruby all the time! She loves them!" Ai couldn't believe it. To her, they were just a normal treat her daughter had asked Miyako for the moment she could speak.

The man gave her an incredulous look.

"Do you give that to your siblings often? That's more sugar and artificial flavoring than anything else. It might taste nice, but you wouldn't want her to think that's the standard for a snack, would you?" His voice became a bit softer.

"A real snack has balance. You want her to grow up strong, not depending on sugar highs. It's alright in moderation but otherwise…"

Ai blinked. She hadn't even really thought about it much but now that he said it…. She looked back down at the drink feeling a bit guilty she had failed her child and made a decision.

She put it back.

'Sorry Ruby, no more milkies for now.' she thought, but at least now she knew it was for the best. There was still some at home right?

Aqua jerked in his seat when he saw his twin suddenly gasping in pain as if she was about to have a heart attack.

"Ruby?!"

"N-noooooo! M-mah milkies! Bastard, who dares?!" The girl wailed in distress and loss at something she couldn't see yet. As if carefully laid plans were unraveling at this very moment.

Ai learned to put her rusty critical thinking skills to work, even if it made her feel a little self-conscious.

"Look at this and tell me what you see?" The man pulled out a box of cereal from the shelf, its bright packaging flashing whole grain and a high fiber banner across the front.

He passed it to her.

Ai hesitated, She recognized this was another kind of challenge, but still tried her best.

"…It's healthy!" she said, lifting the box with confidence. "It says it's full of whole grains and fiber. Definitely a good choice, right?"

He didn't say anything right away and just looked at her, causing Ai to feel a slight twinge of doubt.

He then turned the box around slowly.

"See here?" He pointed to the tiny print at the bottom.

Contains added sugars 23 grams per serving.

Ai blinked, and she squinted at the fine print not really knowing the problem.

"Just because it says or looks healthy doesn't mean it is." he explained gently, tapping the sugar content. "Added sugars are the hidden culprits in many so-called healthy foods. They're like ninjas. The trick is to always read the label, not just the marketing."

Ai stared at the box silently for a moment. Her mother, neither did the orphanage really tell her much about that and she certainly did not learn about it in school which wasn't saying much considering she only finished her mandatory schooling (middle school).

Where else would she learn this kind of thing? She felt a bit helpless.

"Thank you, Uzumaki-san." Ai said quietly.

her thoughts now focused on the kids. "I'll make sure to look closer next time."

The man smiled, nodding in approval as he turned back around. " There's no sin in not knowing. The first step is being aware. You're doing a great job, keep it up."

The woman followed closely behind the man with her lips upturned slightly. Her eyes lingering on his back feeling conflicted at how the praise felt.

Aqua and Miyako both stared at the 2 year old baby wiggling in the car seat crying like someone was killing her.

When Ai returned with her final test clenched behind her back, she saw Uzumaki san holding his son who was stirring slowly and she couldn't help but think about how cute the scene looked. Did she look like that with her own kids?

She had tried being a bit quieter not wanting to disturb him right away but his eyes swung to her all the same as if having seen her long ago.

She almost pouted.

"Good you're back. Show me you're haul because I think it's time for us to go home soon."

'So soon?'

Expertly holding back her slight disappointment with her experience, the woman gave him a beaming smile as she unveiled the frozen package.

"How is it, Uzumaki sensei? I tried my best this time!"

The man gave his customary calm hum she came to associate with him and she stayed still nervously hoping she had picked out the right one.

When he began nodding she sagged in relief holding her chest.

"That's a fine pack of frozen veggies young lady, bring it in!"

Looking confused, Ai could only stare at his fist sticking out for a fist bump in bafflement.

Her shoulders began shaking.

"Huh? What's wrong-"

"Pffft- that's so lame Uzumaki san!"

"I-is she dead?" Aqua hesitated, eyes fixed on his twin, who lay motionless, drooling slightly, like one of the more unresponsive patients he'd seen in the hospital.

Miyako examined her carefully, her expression unreadable. "She certainly looks that way, doesn't she? Do you have any idea what could have happened?" With a mix of caution and curiosity, she flipped the baby upside down, shaking her gently like a remote but nothing changed. The drool continued to drip, and she continued to twitch.

Aqua rubbed his chin thoughtfully, his mind trying to piece together the fragments of what had happened before the incident. "I remember her muttering something about 'milkies' and 'icky veggies'… then she just... stopped making any sense." He paused, his face wrinkling in confusion. "It was like something just clicked off."

"Milkies huh? Isn't that the drink I she asked me for?"

"But what does that have to with-" Aqua paused in the middle of his sentence, catching something out of the side of his eye.

"Mom? What is she-" Aqua's eyes went round seeing the woman conversing with a man far away.

A tall blonde man.

It wasn't long until the three car occupants found their faces pressed against the car glass watching the scene with rapt attention. They watched as she offered her phone to the man who took it before giving it back to her obviously putting his number in.

They watched with even more surprise as children who couldn't be much older than them were also placed inside his massive jeep while their mom waited on the side.

"..."

"..."

"Aqua…."

"Yes?"

"Is our mom a..?"

"I-I think so-"

The children watched with horror as their mother waved the man driving away before turning to their direction with a smile.

It all made sense now! Ai Hoshino, their mother, was a side chick!

"Ahh! That's the last of them! Sorry guys, you'll have to share some space with the groceries." Ai got into the passenger seat apologizing for the inconvenience unaware of their stiff forms.

She turned to Miyako san puffing out her chest proudly.

"See! I told you I could do it if I tried! I even got coupons for next time."

"Ai…?"

"Hmm?" Finally sensing something wrong, the idol looked at everyone inside the car.

"Is something wrong- wait why do you all look like someone died? Did I miss something?"

That seemed to be the final straw as both children began to cry out loud getting the woman to panic.

What was going on?!

My goal is to finish this at 50k. Doubt it would be very long!