"The Freshman"
Based on the Buffy the Vampire Slayer Episode "The Freshman" Written by Joss Whedon and the Angel Episode "City of..." Written by Joss Whedon and David Greenwalt
The following story is copyright © 2022 by Mark Moore.
At night, in the cemetery, Buffy was pacing back and forth. Tara and Amy were seated cross-legged, reading papers and munching on brownies.
Buffy sighed. "Anything?"
Tara smiled. "Ah! 'Introduction to the Modern Novel'. 'A survey study of twentieth-century novelists.' Open to freshmen; you might like that."
"'Introduction to the Modern Novel'?" Buffy asked. "I'm guessing I'd probably have to read the modern novel."
"Maybe more than one."
"I like books. I just don't want to take on too much. Do they have an introduction to the modern blurb?"
Tara smiled. "Oh! 'Short Story'."
"Well, that's good."
"Oh, no. It conflicts with Psych."
"Maybe I shouldn't take Psych."
"Yeah, but didn't you wanna explore that as part of understanding the human brain to help you come to a conclusion about vampires?" Tara asked her. "A-And you can use it as your science requirement. Anyway, Professor Walsh is supposed to be great. She's, like, world-renowned."
"How do you get to be renowned? I mean, like, do you have to be 'nowned' first?" Buffy asked.
"Yes, first, there's the painful 'nowning' process. Wait! 'Images of Pop Culture'. This is good. T-They watch movies, T-TV shows, even commercials."
"For credit?" Buffy asked.
"Heh. Isn't college cool?" Amy asked. "I'm taking it. I've kind of an expert on TV-watching. Easy A." She took a bite of a brownie.
"How'd I miss that one?" Buffy walked over and sat between them.
Tara looked at her. "Well, you did sort of wait till the last minute with your course selection."
"Well, I've been busy! It's been a very slay-heavy summer. I just haven't had a whole lot of time to think about life at UC Sunnydale."
"It's exciting, though, isn't it?" Amy asked.
Tara nodded. "Yeah! It's gonna be an adjustment."
Buffy rolled her eyes. "Yeah, it's, like, five miles away. It's uncharted territory." She sighed. "It's gonna be tough, though...with a roommate."
Tara nodded. "Yeah. It's still bullshit that they didn't put us together."
"Yeah, so much for my dream of sex between classes."
Tara nodded. "Yeah, no sex in college? What is this world coming to?"
"Not orgasm, that's for sure. Have you heard anything from Trina?" Buffy asked Amy.
"Yeah, she arrived at Caltech yesterday and was assigned to Blacker House temporarily until the end of rotation."
"I'm psyched about college. Definitely. I just need to figure out how it's going to work with my extra-curricular activities. I just can't let it take the edge off my slaying. I gotta stay sharp." She looked behind her toward the fresh grave. "Is this guy ever gonna wake up?"
The next morning, Buffy was standing in the middle of the campus' quad with students milling all around her. She was looking around.
"Freshmen! We're doing this by folder color! If you're not holding on to a yellow folder, you're in the wrong group. You belong up by Weisman Hall." A student volunteer pointed.
Buffy looked at the folders in her arms but didn't see a yellow one. She started to walk in the indicated direction.
Tara and Amy met up with her.
"Buffy, hey!" Amy called.
"Girls, am I glad to see you."
They continued walking.
"I got all my courses...except for 'Modern Poetry'; I had to switch to 'Modern Music'. Have you met your roommate yet?" Tara asked Buffy.
"No."
"Me neither. I hope she's tolerable."
Amy nodded. "Same."
"Are we heading anywhere near Weisman Hall?" Buffy asked. "I still need to get my I.D. card."
Amy nodded. "Yeah."
Later, Buffy, Tara, and Amy were indoors, walking along a hallway.
Tara looked at Buffy and Amy. "Let's check out the library."
They started climbing a flight of stairs.
Amy looked at Buffy. "It's too bad Giles can't be librarian here. Be convenient."
They reached a landing and turned left to continue up another flight.
Tara looked back at her friends. "Well, he says that he's enjoying being a gentleman of leisure."
"Gentleman of leisure? Isn't that just British for unemployed?" Buffy asked.
Amy nodded. "Uh-huh, he's a slacker now."
They reached another landing and turned to climb yet another flight.
Buffy remembered something. "Oh, I spoke with the manager at the Bronze. She said we can use it as a practice space."
Amy nodded. "Very cool. I've been eyeing a drum set at the mall."
They entered the library, a huge room with a vaulting cupola ceiling.
Buffy took it all in. "Holy shit."
Later, they went to the campus bookstore. Students were milling about, carrying books in shopping baskets. Buffy carried an armful of books.
Amy walked up with a basket. "Here."
"Thanks." Buffy put the books in the basket. "Can't wait till mom gets the bill for these books. I hope it's a funny aneurysm."
"'Introduction to Psychology'. Oh, up there." Tara indicated three of four books stacked on the edge of the top of a bookshelf.
"I'll get 'em." Buffy reached up and accidentally knocked the books off. "Whoa, oh."
They fell on the head of a young man crouched underneath. He staggered back but recovered.
"Oh, ah. Oh, God, I'm so sorry."
He stood up. "I'm okay. It's okay. Well, that was bracing."
"I'm so..." Buffy paused. "The books were just too high, and then everything was bad." She bent down to pick up the books.
"Let me give you a hand." He bent down and picked up some books. "Let's put a few of these down here." He put them on a lower shelf. "So, uh, are you girls taking Intro Psych, or do you just want me dead?"
Buffy nodded. "Uh-huh. I mean the first one."
"Well, you'll have a lot of fun. Professor Walsh, she's quite a character."
"You've taken it?" Tara asked him.
"I'm a TA; I'll be helping the professor out. I'm sorry, I've forgotten my manners in all the concussion. I'm Riley."
"Tara, and this is my girlfriend, Buffy, and my friend, Amy."
Riley briefly frowned but then quickly put on a smile. "It's nice to meet you three."
Tara, Amy, and Buffy nodded.
Buffy worked her way through milling students, both male and female, down the dorm corridor in Stevenson Hall. She entered a dorm room with two beds and two desks. She saw another young woman there, unpacking a suitcase laying on one of the beds.
Buffy smiled. "Hi."
The woman looked up and smiled. "Oh, hi! Are you Buffy?"
"Yeah."
"Kathy."
"Hi, it's nice to meet you."
"Yeah!"
Buffy put her things down on a desk and crossed over to the bed and sat down. "So, it's, uh...it's a pretty nice room."
"Hmm! I was surprised, 'cause you hear horror stories about freshmen housing. You took the right side?"
"Yeah, um, but if you want it-"
"No, no. I just wanted to make sure that's what you wanted. Excited for classes tomorrow?"
"Painfully."
Kathy laughed. "I bet there's going to be a lot of parties to go to this week, too. Not that I'm a crazy partier. Oh, and I'm not always this hyper either. I'm just excited."
"Yeah, me, too."
Kathy crossed the room and picked up a folded poster and carried it to a wall on her side of the room. "I am really glad they put me with somebody cool. I can tell that you're cool. I just know that this whole year is going to be super fun!"
She unfolded the poster onto the wall, revealing it to be of Celine Dion.
That night, Buffy was laying in bed, listening to Kathy snore, smack her lips, and mumble in her sleep.
The next day, Buffy and Amy were sitting in a lecture hall while Professor Reegert gave his introductory lecture.
"The point of this course is not to critique popular American culture. It is not to pick at it or look down upon it. And it is not to watch videos for credit."
That got small laughter from various students.
"The point is to examine..."
"Do you know if this class is full yet?" Buffy whispered to a student beside her.
"And there are two people talking at once, and I know that one of them is me. And the other is...a blonde girl. You, blonde girl. Stand up. I'm very excited to hear what you have to say that's worth interrupting my lecture for."
Buffy stood up, nervous and embarrassed. "I was just asking if the class was still open, if I could still sign up."
Professor Reegert picked up a clipboard. "If your name isn't on this sheet, then you are wasting everyone's time. Are you on the sheet?"
"They told me that if I just-"
"Do you understand? You are sucking energy from everyone in this room. They came here to learn. Get out!"
Buffy was upset. "I didn't mean to...suck."
"Leave!"
She started to leave.
"Thank you."
She walked out.
Amy stood up, angry.
"And what do you want?" Reegert asked her.
"You were out of line, asshole. Fuck you and fuck this class." Amy picked up her bookbag and left the room, flipping him off without looking at him.
Amy caught up with Buffy and touched her gently on the arm.
Buffy looked at her. "You didn't have to leave."
"I didn't want to stay."
Buffy smiled at her.
Later, Buffy was looking around a busy hallway.
Riley came up to her. "If, uh, you're looking for Psych, it's through here." He pointed.
"Oh, thanks. How's your head?" Buffy asked.
"Sorry?"
"Yesterday. In the bookstore. You don't remember."
"Oh, no, sure, I remember you. My head is fine; it just stung for a bit, and I lost most of my basic motor functions. It's no biggie."
They reached the lecture hall and went inside.
"We're here. I'm sorry, I'm trying to remember you."
"Buffy."
"Buffy, right."
"Thanks." Buffy started toward the tiers and turned back. "You know, I was just wondering. Professor Walsh isn't planning on yelling at me and kicking me out of the class, is she?"
"It's not in her lesson plan."
"Great." Buffy turned back to the tiers and spotted Tara.
Tara waved to her, and Buffy climbed up to sit beside her.
"How was Pop Culture?" Tara asked.
"Ugh. I'll tell you later."
Professor Walsh, an older woman with short blonde hair, came into the lecture hall, and Riley handed her a sheet of paper.
"Okay. This is Psych 105, 'Introduction to Psychology'; I'm Professor Walsh. Those of you who fall under my good graces will come to know me as Maggie. Those of you who don't will come to know me by the name my TAs use and think I don't know about, 'The Evil Bitch Monster of Death'. Make no mistake: I run a hard class, I assign a lot of work, I talk fast, and I expect you to keep up. If you're looking to coast, I recommend 'Geology 101'; that's where the football players are."
In Los Angeles, Cordelia, Faith, and Anne were finishing up their shift at Helen's Kitchen. Cordelia collected dishes and silverware and took them to the pick-up counter. Anne and Faith wiped down tables.
"So...you gals up for some clubbing tonight?" Faith asked.
Anne sprayed a table. "I'm down."
"What about you, C?" Faith asked.
"Sorry, I'll be partying in a much more upscale fashion. My friend, Margo, is hosting a fancy Hollywood party. I'm gonna rub some elbows. By the way, Anne, I need a ride."
"So get a cab."
Cordelia's jaw dropped. "Aaaaaannnnnneeeeee!"
"Hey, it was your idea to not move in with us."
"That bed can't comfortably hold three, and you know it."
Faith smiled and hugged Cordelia from behind. "Comfort is subjective."
Cordelia wiggled out of Faith's grasp. "Ew."
Anne wiped up a ketchup stain from a table. "Look, sweetie, I'm perfectly willing to pick you up for work and drop you off at home...for every...single...one of your shifts, but I'm not your chauffeur. Call a cab or get your own car."
Cordelia pouted and gave Anne a sad look.
"Not gonna work."
That night, Buffy was walking along a walkway, looking around. She looked behind her and collided with another student. "Ooh!"
"Wow, sorry."
"No, I-I wasn't looking."
"Did you, uh, lose your way?" he asked.
"Me? Oh, no, no, I'm just going to Stevenson Hall. Which I know is on the Earth planet. Recently voted 'Most Pathetic'. Uh-huh."
"Hmm, well, I'm lost, and I have a map." He held it up. "So..."
"Ooh, I come in second. I'm Buffy, by the way."
"Eddie."
"Okay, so..."
They both studied the map.
"That's Stevenson Hall, right?" Buffy asked.
"Okay, and this is Dunwirth Building; that's my dorm. It's just...It's us I can't find-"
"Are we the blue part?" Buffy asked.
"No...yes!"
"Okay, right, so I-I came from there; then we just wanna go that way to the bike path." Buffy pointed.
"You sound very certain; I'm in."
They started walking, and he saw the books in Buffy's arms.
"You're taking Psych 105 with Professor Walsh."
"Yeah; I mean...I'm gonna try. She's not afraid of the long words, huh?" Buffy asked.
"Yeah, she's pretty intense. A lot of the courses are really tough."
"I'm a little upset. I had it on good authority that this was a party school."
"I think it's supposed to get easier."
"I still feel like carrying around a security blanket."
"Of Human Bondage. Have you ever read it?" Eddie asked her.
Buffy thought about it. "Oh, no, but I think I've seen the porn film adaptation."
Eddie laughed. "No, there's no actual bondage; it's just a novel. I've read it, like, ten times. I always keep it by my bed. Security blanket."
"I don't really have a security blanket...unless you count Mr. Gordo."
"Mr. Gordo?"
"Stuffed pig. Oh, bike path. So it's nice to know that I'm not the only entirely confused person on this campus."
"I suspect there's a lot of us."
"Well, I'll look for you in Psych."
"Yeah, maybe we can help each other figure out what the hell they're talking about."
Buffy laughed. "Okay."
"Maybe even make it through the year." Eddie laughed.
"Good night."
"Night."
Buffy walked away.
At the party, Cordelia was talking to two guys in business suits.
Margo Ridgeley, a woman with long red hair, was walking around, video-taping the people there. "Cordy! Smile for the camera."
Cordelia looked at her and smiled. Margo video-taped her for a while and then walked off.
Cordelia looked back at the men. "You know, they asked me to come back and read for a third time! I'm an actress. I don't put up with things like that!"
"Cordelia?"
Cordelia turned and saw Angel. She walked over to him. "Oh, my God. Angel?"
"Nice to see a familiar face."
"I didn't know you were in LA." Cordelia paused. "Are you living here?"
"Yeah. You?"
Cordelia quickly remembered her script. "Malibu. A small condo on the beach. It's not a private beach, but I'm young, so I forbear."
"You're acting?"
"Can you believe it? I mean...I just started it to make some quick cash, and then boom; it was, like, my life! So are you still..." Cordelia held up her hands like claws and made a face. "...Grrr?"
"Yeah, there's not actually a cure for that."
"Right. But you're not evil, I mean...you're not here to bite people?"
"No, I'm here with a friend." Angel pointed out a woman with long blonde hair wearing a black, sleeveless evening dress. "Tina."
"Oh, good. Well, it was nice seeing you, but I've got to get mingly. I really should be talking to people that are somebody." Cordelia walked away.
Cordelia returned to her apartment. It was really poor. There were plaster patches on dirty yellow walls. She was hanging up her dress in a bare closet while listening to a message on her answering machine.
"You have one new message."
"Cordy, Joe at the agency. No luck again. We're having trouble booking auditions. The networks say they've seen enough of you. So, you know, no need to call. We'll let you know if the situation changes. Bye."
Cordelia took out some of the star-shaped sandwiches that she stashed away at the party with a sigh.
"You have no more messages."
Cordelia sat on the couch and started eating a sandwich in silence.
The next day, Psych class was over; students were gathering their things and leaving. Buffy was looking around for Eddie.
"You looking for someone?" Tara asked her.
"Yeah. A new friend that I met yesterday. He's supposed to be in this class."
Buffy went and found Eddie's resident advisor, who showed Buffy Eddie's empty single dorm room in Dunwirth Hall.
"Yeah, Eddie just took off, packed his stuff, left a note. Happens sometimes. People just can't handle it. There's always a few kids who lose it early in the first semester and just bail."
Buffy crossed to the bed and picked up the note. She sat on the bed while reading it. The note read "This is too much to handle. I can't take it anymore. No time to say goodbye! Eddie"
"Weak ones, I guess." The resident advisor left.
Buffy laid the note on the bedside table and noticed the drawer was partly open. She opened it to reveal a paperback book. It was Eddie's copy of William Somerset Maugham's Of Human Bondage. She took it out of the drawer and looked at it intently.
Buffy drove to Giles' apartment. She got out and walked up to the front door. Buffy opened the door while knocking. She entered, closed the door, and walked to the middle of the room. "Memory of a Free Festival Part 1" by David Bowie was playing in the background.
"Giles?" Buffy called.
"Rupert, is this blue cheese, or is it just cheese that's gone blue?" Jenny reached the front room and saw Buffy. She was completely naked but didn't attempt to cover herself. "Buffy!"
Buffy averted her gaze, shocked. "Ms. Calendar! Um, Jenny! Um...you know, the door was open, so I just..." She stopped talking, embarrassed.
"It's okay. Do you want me to put something on?" Jenny asked her.
"Um..." Buffy swallowed. "I don't want to inconvenience you."
Giles coughed, and the music cut off. Giles came out of the hallway. He was wearing a bathrobe.
Jenny turned and looked. "He appears. Rupert, you have a guest."
"Buffy! Hello."
"Is this a bad time?" Buffy asked him.
"No! How's, uh, how is university?" Giles asked her.
"Pretty much the same as high school - in the sense that I need help."
"Ah...help...yes."
"But...this just looks like a bad time."
Jenny smiled. "No, not at all."
"So, uh, trouble with, uh, studies?" Giles asked Buffy.
"This is a bad time."
"You keep saying that."
"Well, it looks pretty bad! I think someone had just a little too much free time on their hands."
"I'm not supposed to have a private life?" Giles asked her.
"No!" Buffy whined. "'Cause you're very, very old, and it's gross."
"Well, before I succumb to the ravages of age, why don't you tell me what brings you here?" Giles suggested.
Buffy slowly looked at him and Jenny. Jenny smiled sweetly and waved at her.
"There's this student missing."
"Yes?" Giles asked.
"Eddie. He's supposed to have left school but...I just don't think he did. I met him outside last night, and then I went back where we met, and it looked there had been a struggle."
"And?"
"And we need to stop this!" Buffy told him. "And Eddie's RA said kids disappear a lot. There could be a gang of vampires working the campus. We need research an-an-and charts and shit."
"I-I still don't see where I fit in. You haven't described anything that you can't do yourself."
"Okay, remember before you became Hugh Hefner, when you used to be a Watcher?" Buffy asked him.
"Officially, you no longer have a Watcher. Buffy, you know I'll always be here when you need me. Y-Your safety is more important to me than anything, but you're going to have to take care of yourself. You're out of school, and I can't always be there to guide you."
Buffy was upset. "I'm sorry to bug you."
"Buffy, I-"
"Oh! No! I mean...yeah, you're...you're right. I can handle it. It's just that...I'm on it."
"I-I'm here if you need me."
Buffy turned and left the apartment.
Jenny gave Giles a disapproving look and walked to the door. "Buffy."
Buffy was halfway to her van, but she stopped, turned around, and walked back over to Jenny.
"Listen, uh, I'm waiting to hear if a position for a computer teacher will be opening up at UC Sunnydale. If it does, I'm in, and I'll be around to help you. In the meantime, you've got my e-mail address, right?" Jenny asked her.
Buffy frowned in thought. "I think so? But I know Tara and Amy do."
"Cool. Well, if you still need any help, e-mail me."
Buffy smiled. "Thanks."
Jenny smiled.
In her apartment, Cordelia was sitting on her bed in the lotus position with her eyes closed. "I am somebody. I matter. People will be drawn to my positive energy and help me to achieve my goals. I am right where I am supposed to be..." She fell forward to the bed, face down. "...and not dying for something to eat!"
The telephone rang.
Cordelia jumped up and grabbed it. "Hello, Cordelia Chase."
"Cor, it's Margo. You were such a hit at my party last night."
"Oh, thanks!"
"Guess who saw my videotape of the party and guess who wants to meet with you."
"A director? A manager? An assistant to an assistant who wants to spring for lunch?"
"Russell Winters."
"The investment guy?"
"Oh, oh, Cordelia. He is a lot more than that. He helps people get started in their careers. And he wants to meet you - tonight."
"Tonight?"
"He'll send a limo for you at eight."
That night, Buffy was walking along outside, and there were students everywhere.
"How am I supposed to hunt in this mob? Don't you people have homes?" Buffy asked.
She saw a young man walking away, he looked over at her, and she saw it was Eddie.
"Eddie?" Buffy ran after him. "Eddie! Eddie, hey, wait up!" She caught up with him in a secluded spot next to a bulletin board. "God, I was worried that something had happened to you-"
He turned around, baring his fangs.
"-and of course it has, 'cause you're a vampire." Buffy paused, stunned and upset. "I'm sorry."
"I'm not." Eddie attacked.
Buffy used his own momentum to keep him off balance and staked him when he charged again. He fell to the ground, dead.
"Slayer!"
Buffy turned and saw a young, attractive blonde woman watching from a concrete dais.
The woman hopped down and walked toward her. "Wow, um, I heard you might be coming here."
Other vampires came out of hiding and surrounded Buffy.
"This is, I mean...what a challenge! The Slayer!" the woman exclaimed.
"And you are?" Buffy asked her.
"I'm...I'm Sunday, I'll be killing you here in a minute or so."
"You know, that threat gets more frightening every time I hear it."
"Uh...are we gonna fight? Or is there just gonna be a monster sarcasm rally?" a male vampire, who sounded like Jeff Spicoli from Fast Times at Ridgemont High, asked.
A fat female vampire licked her lips. "I'm in for a piece."
Buffy smiled. "Everybody gets to play."
Sunday rolled her eyes. "Guys, this is totally mine."
SpicoliVamp looked at her. "Okay, but you gotta share the eatin'. 'Cause I'm thinkin' Slayer's blood's gotta be - whoa! - like Thai stick."
Buffy suppressed a chuckle. "I thought people were suppose to get smarter in college."
Sunday nodded. "Yeah, I think you had a lot of misconceptions about college. Like that anyone would be caught dead wearing that."
Buffy looked down at her clothes. When she looked up, Sunday punched her. Buffy fell, and Sunday tried to kick her, but Buffy blocked it and threw two punches. Sunday ducked one and blocked the other and landed another punch, sending Buffy sprawling again. When Buffy tried to get up, Sunday kicked her in the face. Buffy tried to slug her in the stomach, but Sunday grabbed her wrist and threw her onto the dais. Buffy tried to hit back, but Sunday grabbed her by the throat.
"Don't take this the wrong way, but..." Sunday punched her in the face again. "...you fight like a girl."
She threw Buffy off the dais and somersaulted off. Buffy got to her feet and kicked her in the midsection. She missed another kick to the head but landed one to Sunday's face. She threw a punch, but Sunday grabbed her arm, swung her around, and threw her onto the hood of a pickup truck parked nearby. Buffy tried to get up, but Sunday jumped onto the hood and kicked her in the back, sending her up onto the roof. Buffy tried a left-handed punch, but Sunday grabbed her wrist, jumped onto the roof, and brought her knee up into her arm. There was a cracking sound. She threw Buffy, who bounced off the hood onto the ground. Buffy stood up, holding her left arm close to her chest. She looked at the other vampires, who were smiling, and took off. She fell once onto the grass but got up and ran away.
Cordelia was riding in the limousine.
"People will be attracted to my positive energy and help me achieve my goals. Oh, yeah!"
The limousine drove through a big metal gate onto the grounds of Russell's mansion.
Buffy went to her dorm room. Kathy was asleep and snoring again. Buffy was sitting on her bed, bruised and tending to her arm. She carefully moved it away from her chest, holding it with her other hand, and grunted in pain.
Cordelia followed a butler through Russell's huge foyer. They entered one of the rooms.
Russell got up to greet her. "I'm Russell. Thank you so much for coming." He looked at his butler. "That'll be all, Franklin. We'd like to be alone."
The butler left the room.
Cordelia looked around. "Wow, what a nice place. I love your curtains. Not afraid to emphasize the curtains."
"Well, I have old-fashioned tastes."
"I grew up in a nice home. It wasn't like this, but we did have a room or two that we didn't even know what they were for - until the IRS got all huffy about my folks not paying taxes for, well, ever. They took it all."
"Margo tells me you're an actress. It's going well?"
Cordelia sat down. "Oh..." She hesitated. "Yeah, it's great! I've had a lot of opportunities. The hands in the liquid-gel commercial were almost mine by one or two girls. And well...it's not everything...I..." She paused. "I've tried really hard, you know. Usually, when I set out to achieve something, I succeed at it - right away. But I...I don't know anybody."
"Now, you know me. You don't have to worry anymore."
Cordelia looked down then back up at him. "What do you want me to do?"
Russell stepped closer. "Just tell me what you want."
"Oh, God. I'm sorry! I'm getting all weepy in front of you. I probably look really scary." Cordelia got up and looked around the room. "I finally get invited to a nice place...with no mirrors...and lots of curtains..." She looked at him in realization. "Hey, you're a vampire!"
"What? No, I'm not."
"Are too!"
"I don't know what you're talking about."
"Hey, I'm from Sunnydale. We had our own Hellmouth! I think I know a vampire when I'm...alone with him...in his fortress-like home. And, you know, I think I'm just feeling a little light-headed from hunger. I'm just wacky. And kidding! Ha, ha."
"Truth is...I'm glad you know. It means we can skip the formalities." Russell lunged at her.
Cordelia turned and ran out of the room. Russell gave chase.
Cordelia ran up the white marble stairs. Russell grabbed her with a growl. The lights suddenly went out. He let go of Cordelia.
"Russell Winters."
"Angel?" Cordelia asked.
Angel slowly stepped out of the dark at the end of the open landing. "I have a message for you - from Tina."
"You made a very big mistake coming here."
"You don't know who he is, do you?" Cordelia grinned. "Oh, boy! You're about to get your ass kicked!"
Angel pulled out a stake and attacked Russell. They were pretty evenly matched. After some back and forth, Russell managed to throw Angel down.
Cordelia looked and saw two bodyguards with drawn guns charging up the stairs. "Angel?"
Angel waited until they were all on the runner that he was laying on, then pulled it out from under all three of his opponents as he got up.
"Kill them!" Russell ordered.
Angel took a shot in the chest, then turned to pick up Cordelia. While more bullets hit him in the back, he jumped over the banister to the floor below.
"Angel! Ah!" Cordelia yelled.
He set her down. They ran out the front door.
Cordelia and Angel ran up to Angel's car, a 1968 black Plymouth Belvedere GTX convertible. Angel hunched over and inspected it; the front of the car was dented and steaming.
The driver looked at him. "You know, I've had a bit of an accident, but we'll talk later."
Cordelia got into the passenger seat while Angel fell into the back seat.
The driver started the car and backed up. "Name's Doyle. Nice to meet you."
"Cordelia. Cute accent."
"Thanks."
"What is it?" Cordelia asked.
"Irish."
"Oh." Cordelia turned around and looked at Angel. "Why don't you have an accent like that?"
Angel groaned in pain.
Cordelia rolled her eyes. "Sure, avoid the question." She looked at Doyle. "So what's your story?"
Doyle started driving on a road. "I've been sent...by the Powers That Be."
Cordelia was confused. "The powers that be what?"
"I'm honestly not sure. They don't speak to me direct. I get...visions...which is to say great splitting migraines that come with pictures. A name, a face. I don't know who sends them. I just know whoever sends them is more powerful than me or you, and they're just trying to make things right."
"Uh-huh. You see shit in your head." Cordelia looked straight ahead. "Great."
Cordelia supported Angel, and they walked into an office building. Doyle followed. They walked down a couple steps and through one of the offices on the ground floor and got into an elevator. Doyle pulled the metal grating closed and pressed a button, and the elevator went down.
The elevator stopped. Doyle pulled the metal grating open, and they got out of the elevator. They entered Angel's apartment.
Tina walked out of the bedroom. "Angel! What happened?"
Cordelia looked at her. "He's been shot."
Doyle went to get some supplies. "I'll get it out. Get his coat off and sit him down."
Cordelia helped Angel take off his coat. She tossed it aside and helped him sit on the couch.
Doyle returned and started working on digging the bullet out of Angel's chest. Cordelia and Tina got out of the way.
"So what's your story?" Cordelia asked Tina.
Angel screamed. Cordelia looked and saw blood. She turned to the side and vomited.
"Lass, I'm gonna need your help once it's out."
Cordelia looked at Tina and wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. "Long version, please."
"Uh, my name is Christina Clarke. I was born in 1967 in Missoula, Montana. Lots of open land, lots of nothing else. Um, I was a Girl Scout. I came here to become a movie star. But they weren't hiring."
Cordelia nodded. "What do you do?"
"I'm a waitress at The Coffee Spot."
Cordelia suddenly didn't feel so bad about her lot in life. "Oh. And Russell?"
"He is someone I made the mistake of trusting. He likes...He likes pain. I mean...he really does. He talks about it like it was a friend. And you don't leave him; he tells you when he's had enough. I knew this girl, Denise Perkins; she tried to get away. She disappeared off the face of the Earth. He murdered her."
"I'm sorry."
"Got it!" Doyle exclaimed.
"Finally! I thought I was going to faint while barfing!" Cordelia walked over and sat next to Angel on the couch and picked up a piece of gauze. "Okay."
She dabbed at the wound with the gauze, and Angel flinched.
"Sorry. So...it's over, right? We're going to be okay. You put the fear of God into that Russell guy." Cordelia taped a piece of gauze over the bullet hole. "He's not going to come looking for us, right?"
They all just looked at each other in silence.
Tina shook her head. "No fucking way. Russell's not exactly big on God. Or letting go."
The next day, Buffy decided to drive home to visit her mom.
Buffy entered through the kitchen door, still favoring her left arm. "Mom?"
She went upstairs, and Joyce, coming out into the hallway, saw her.
"Buffy."
"Hi."
"Honey, how are you?"
Joyce hugged her, and Buffy hugged back, one-armed.
"I'm okay."
"How's college? You've been fighting."
"Oh, uh, they started it."
"Just as long as you're being careful. I-I really didn't think you'd show up here for a while."
They walked towards Buffy's room.
"Oh, I didn't have classes today, and I have an annoying roommate, and everything's just been so hectic, so I figured it'd be nice to come and crash for-"
They reached her room, and Buffy saw it was crammed with wooden crates.
"Oh, well, yeah. You know, I-I didn't think you'd be back for a couple of weeks. Uh, but I didn't move anything; it's still your room."
"You filled it with packing crates."
"Yeah, but I didn't move anything."
"If it's still my room, shouldn't I still be able to fit in it?"
"Well, it's just for a couple of weeks while we do inventory at the gallery. I just really didn't think you'd be back so soon."
"Neither did I."
"Do you want some tea or something?" Joyce offered.
Buffy smiled. "Yeah. That'd be nice."
Buffy drove back to the university. At the dorm, Buffy found all of her things were missing.
She walked to the bare bed, picked up a note that was lying there, and read it silently: "This is all just too much for me. I have decided to take off. Sorry I didn't have time to say goodbye but I need to be by myself. Good luck this year. Buffy"
She sat on her bed, holding the note.
While staying at Angel's for her own protection, Cordelia decided to make herself useful by dusting the office - and also to subtly apply for a job. Tina was helping out.
Cordelia dusted some cobwebs off the wall. "Well, at least, we won't have to worry about Russell anymore."
Tina smiled. "I know. I can't believe Angel kicked him out a window."
Cordelia smiled. "That's my guy." Then she realized what she'd said and grew somber.
"You're involved?" Tina asked, surprised.
"Uh, were."
"And you wanna work for him?" Tina asked.
"Well, Doyle thinks it'd be a good idea, and it'd beat working as a waitress." Cordelia looked at Tina. "No offense."
Tina made a face. "None taken. Well, see ya around."
"See ya."
Tina walked out the front door.
Cordelia continued dusting. Suddenly, a cockroach ran across Cordelia's foot. Cordelia screamed.
Angel and Doyle soon burst into the office, Angel carefully avoiding the sun streaming in through the windows.
Cordelia waved the duster with her hand. "Ah! Look over there! A cockroach! In the corner. I think it's a bantamweight!" She looked at Angel. "Okay, first thing: we need to call an exterminator - and a sign painter. We should have a name on the door!"
"Okay. I'm confused."
"Your little mission? So I was just saying, if we're going to help people, maybe a small charge. You know, something to help pay the rent - and my salary. You need somebody to organize things, and you're not exactly rolling in it, Mr. I-was-alive-for-200-years-and-never-developed-an-investment-portfolio."
"You want to charge people?"
"Well, not everybody. But sooner or later, we are going to have to help some rich people, right?" Cordelia looked at Doyle. "Right?"
"Possibly, yeah."
Cordelia looked at Angel and pointed. "Hand me that box. So I think that we should charge based on a case-by-case analysis, but with me working for a flat fee. I mean...um...that is...if you think that you can use me?"
After a moment, Angel handed her the box with a smile.
"Of course, this is just temporary - until my inevitable stardom takes effect." She took the box from him and walked away with a smile.
Buffy went to Tara's dorm room in Stevenson Hall. She knocked on the door.
Soon, the door opened. Tara was standing there.
Tara smiled. "Hey."
Buffy kissed Tara on the lips. "Hey."
Tara stepped aside. "Come in."
Buffy walked into Tara's dorm room.
Tara closed and locked the door.
Buffy looked at her. "Your roommate out?"
"Yeah, thank Goddess. She's really annoying and seems like a party gal." Tara smiled. "Wanna fuck?"
Buffy smiled. "Tempting, but I actually need your help first."
"With what?"
"There's this vampire cunt that kicked my ass last night. I think she turned that friend that I told you about, 'cause I had to stake him. I need your hacking skills."
"Sure." Tara walked over to her desk and sat down. She opened her laptop and turned it on.
"And contact Ms. Calendar, uh, Jenny. There's gotta be a reason that that girl's so powerful. I wanna know what it is."
Buffy was reading over Tara's shoulder. "Kids disappearing every year. Not too many, just enough so that everyone thinks they up and left."
Tara shook her head. "I can't believe the vampires took your stuff. Murder I expect, but petty larceny seems so...petty."
"They have to be keeping it somewhere, on campus or at least nearby. Hey, how far back do the disappearances go?"
"Uh...they weren't too common before '82." Tara's face brightened. "Match number! Check this out." She Alt-Tabbed to another window with a newspaper article.
Buffy looked at it. "'Psi Theta loses its charter. Building to be closed for renovation.'"
"1982. Look at this." Tara Alt-Tabbed to another window. "'Former Psi Theta fraternity house lies dormant while zoning issues drag on before the city council.' We have a winner."
"Looks pretty cherry."
"You up for a little reconnaissance?" Tara asked.
Buffy looked at her in confusion. "You mean where we all sculpt and paint and stuff?"
"No, that was the Renaissance."
"Oh. I've had a really long week. Let's go look at the house."
Suddenly, an alert sounded.
Tara Alt-Tabbed to her e-mail inbox. "Jenny replied to my e-mail." She opened it. "She sent an attachment."
She downloaded the PDF file. Then she opened it and read it silently for a while.
Tara couldn't believe it. "Holy shit."
"What is it?" Buffy asked her.
"I know why Sunday's been giving you so much trouble."
It was nighttime. Buffy and Tara arrived at the exterior of a building with signs posted reading "This Property Closed to the Public" and "Keep Out". Tara hugged Buffy and flew them up to the roof.
Up on the roof, Buffy cleared some debris from the skylight that she was laying on. She saw the vampires inside a cluttered room, going through her things. Tara worked her way to the skylight.
Buffy grinned. "Score!"
Sunday was holding a skirt up to herself and mockingly shaking her hips. "Look how tough I am."
"Oh! That's my skirt! You're never going to fit in it with those hips! We have to kill them!" Buffy declared.
"Let's put this bitch in the ground!" Tara agreed. "We need weapons."
"I don't see my weapons trunk down there. It was right by my bed." Buffy noticed something. "Mr. Gordo? Go to my room. If it's not there, try Amy's. I'll keep an eye...my diary?!"
"Uh-oh, score!" SpicoliVamp declared.
"I'll hurry!" Tara flew away.
Buffy stared down at the vampires with an evil smile on her lips. "Laugh all you want; this time, we play it my way. And the rules are just going to be a little bit-"
The skylight gave way, and Buffy fell into the room.
Buffy hit the floor. "Unh!"
The vampires all stopped what they were doing and looked at her.
"Ah. Ah." Buffy looked up at the vampires. "Oh."
"Say, don't I know you from...beating the shit out of you?" Sunday asked her.
Buffy stood up. "I just thought I'd drop in." She smiled. "Get it? Drop in?"
The vampires didn't say anything.
Buffy frowned. "Damn, tough room."
"I must say, you've really got me now. I mean...it's a diabolical plan: throw yourself at my feet with a broken arm and no weapons of any kind. How'm I going to get out of this one?" Sunday asked.
"You got a nice set-up here, but you made one mistake."
"Yeah? What was that?" Sunday asked her.
Buffy was stumped. "Well, I'm not actually positive, but, statistically speaking, people usually make at least-"
Sunday punched her in the face.
Amy went to Buffy's dorm room and knocked on the door. Soon, the door opened. Kathy was standing there.
"Hello?" Kathy asked.
"Hi, I'm looking for my friend, Buffy. Is she here?" Amy asked her.
"Oh. Uh, Buffy actually took off and moved back home."
"What?" Amy asked, surprised.
"Yeah. It seems kind of weird." Kathy handed the note to Amy.
Amy read the note. "Yeah, weird's a pretty good word for it. Buffy wouldn't just take off."
"Does Buffy have a history of emotional problems?" Kathy asked her. "'Cause on my request form, I was pretty specific about a stable non-smoker."
Amy handed back the note. "I don't think this is her handwriting. Let's think this through. Now, either Buffy took off, or she was robbed, or-"
"It's vampires!" Tara ran into the hallway.
Amy looked at her. "Tara!"
Tara ran up to them. "Vampires took Buffy's stuff. And now she wants us to help get it back." She looked at Kathy. "Excuse me."
Kathy stepped aside. Tara walked into the room, and Amy followed.
"Wait a minute, who are you?" Kathy asked her.
"Tara, Buffy's girlfriend." Tara looked around and underneath Buffy's bed. "They took the chest." She turned around and headed for the door. "C'mon, Amy. It's nice meeting you, Kathy."
Tara and Amy left the room.
"You, too!" Kathy called.
Tara looked at Amy. "Let's go to your place, get supplies."
"Okay. Do you have anything that we can use?" Amy asked her.
Tara shook her head. "Nah, you've got all the good shit. My broke ass can't afford it."
"Is Buffy in danger?" Amy asked her.
"She's in a holding pattern; we've got some time."
Buffy fell as she got hit again. On the floor, she looked over and saw her trunk. She started to crawl toward it.
Sunday stepped in front of her and grabbed her left arm. "You know, this arm's not looking so good. It might have to come off."
"You want to know the truth?" Buffy asked her. "I only need one."
She hit Sunday with a roundhouse punch with her right fist, sending her spinning. She rolled to her feet and kicked Sunday in the face and flipped her over the couch, onto the coffee table. She caught some broken wood from the coffee table with her foot and kicked Sunday in the face with it. Sunday fell into a pile of clutter.
The fat vampire ran in to help. Buffy grabbed a tennis racket, stepped onto the arm of a chair, roundhouse-kicked Sunday, and did a backhand swing with the racket into the fat vampire's face, sending her flying over the couch and breaking the frame off the racket, making a perfect stake. Sunday moved in for some close-in fighting. The door opened, and Tara and Amy ran into the room. SpicoliVamp saw Amy struggling with a crossbow and rushed her. Amy got the crossbow up just in time and shot the bolt through SpicoliVamp's heart.
"Whoa!" SpicoliVamp fell backwards, dead.
The fat vampire decided to leave and ran out of the room. Sunday was lying on the floor with Buffy standing above her.
Buffy stared down at Sunday. "When you look back at this, in the split-second it'll take you to die, I think you'll find the mistake was touching my shit."
Sunday got to her feet and rushed Buffy, who swung one-armed at her, which Sunday blocked, eventually catching her arm in a hold.
"What about breaking your arm?" Sunday grabbed at Buffy's left arm. "How'd that feel?"
"Let me answer that with a headbutt." Buffy did and sent Sunday staggering.
Amy fired off more bolts from the crossbow. Those that didn't directly hit vampires, Tara redirected mid-air. Amy faced off with a vampire. Tara, behind the vampire, hit him on the head with a karate chop, then ducked down. When the vampire turned, Amy pushed him over Tara, who straightened up and flipped the vampire onto his back. Amy moved in for the kill, firing a bolt into his heart.
Buffy made a fist with her left hand. "And for the record, the arm is hurt..." She uppercut Sunday, sending her flying. "...not broken."
Besides Sunday, there were no more vampires left in the house. Tara and Amy walked up behind Buffy.
"Hey, Buff. Need a hand?" Amy asked her.
Buffy brandished a stake with a twirl. "No, thanks." She twisted around and threw the stake.
Sunday did a spinning jump kick, knocking the stake away. She then turned and ran out the door.
"Should we follow her?" Tara asked.
Buffy thought about it. "Nah. Let's just pack up my stuff and get it to my dorm."
"But aren't you concerned that she'll cause more trouble?" Amy asked her.
"She will. They all do. But I'm not ready to defeat her yet."
"Why not?" Amy asked her, confused.
Buffy turned and looked at her. "Because she's a Slayer."
Buffy opened the door to her dorm room, and she, Tara, and Amy walked in. Tara and Amy carried Buffy's stuff in boxes; Buffy carried her trunk with her good arm.
Kathy looked at them from the fridge. "I have so many questions."
"No doubt." Buffy dropped her trunk on the floor and kicked it under the bed.
"Where do you want your stuff?" Amy asked Buffy.
"Oh, just drop it anywhere."
Amy and Tara did.
Kathy glared at them. "Well, that isn't very orderly."
"So...college not so scary after all, huh?" Tara asked Buffy.
Buffy smiled. "It's turning out to be a lot like high school, which I can handle. At least, I know what to expect."