"Who Are You?"
Based on the Buffy the Vampire Slayer Episode "Who Are You?" Written by Joss Whedon and the Angel Episode "The Ring" Written by Howard Gordon
The following story is copyright © 2023 by Mark Moore.
Buffy, Tara, Amy, Harmony, Sandy, Faith, Jenny, Giles, and Riley were sitting at the table in Harmony's kitchen, eating a late-night snack of brownies that Amy had baked.
Faith sighed. "I lost her. Sorry, B."
Buffy gave her a smile. "It's okay."
Amy elbowed Harmony.
"Ow!" Harmony exclaimed, frowning at her.
Amy stared pointedly at Harmony.
Harmony looked at Buffy, embarrassed. "Uh, I gotta apologize, too. I sort of...accidentally...let Spike know Sunday has the Gem of Amarra."
Buffy rolled her eyes and sighed.
"What's the Gem of Amarra?" Riley asked.
Sandy suddenly felt uneasy and vulnerable.
"Uh, ancient artifact. It's imperative that we retrieve it as soon as possible." Giles looked at Sandy and flashed a brief smile.
"What's the big deal?" Riley asked.
Buffy stared him down. "Just trust us on this."
"Do you think she's still in the area?" Tara asked no one in particular.
Buffy shrugged. "I don't know."
Jenny shrugged. "I can go on the 'Net, check the bus schedules."
Buffy nodded. "Cool, and I'll notify the SPD and tell them to keep an eye out."
"Do you think they can take her?" Amy asked her.
Buffy looked at her. "Not a chance."
The next evening, Cordelia was sitting in front of her computer at Angel Investigations, checking out a new website. "Demons, Demons, Demons. Wow! They put a lot of thought into that title."
"It's a demon database. What would you call it?" Wesley asked her.
"I don't know. How about...Demon Database?"
"Ah! A name rife with single entendre."
"Why isn't Wolfram & Hart in here?" Cordelia asked.
"Because they are lawyers, not demons?"
"Fine line, if you ask me. Yeesh. They have a lot of entries! Did you know that there is a dozen species indigenous to L.A. County alone?"
"Do they have the Vigories of Oden Tal?"
"Nope."
"Hmm." Wesley picked up a book. "So...there is still a place in this world for traditional research."
"There are some ugly critters in here. Someone ought to create an intra-demon dating base. You know, like , where the lonely and the slimy connect."
Wesley looked at her.
"I was just joking, Mr. Grouchy Pants. When was the last time you had a dating base?"
"For your information...I lead a rich and varied social life."
"Oh, I know. Every night, it's Jeopardy!, followed by Wheel of Fortune and a cup of hot cocoa. Look out, girls, this one can't be tamed!"
"I'll admit it may not be as intoxicating as a life erected on high fashion pumps and a push-up bra."
Cordelia got up. "Hey, if anyone is wearing a push-up bra around here, it's-" She saw Angel coming in. "-Angel."
"Did you two need to see a counselor?" Angel asked them.
Cordelia smiled. "No, I'm way too single-entendre to benefit from therapy!"
Wesley looked at her. "I don't know why you take everything so personally."
"Me? Oh, this is rich coming from Mr. 'Don't talk to me until I've had my flagon of oat bran in the morning'."
The door opened, and a guy with a beat-up face in a suit walked in.
"Children, we have company."
"Is one of you Angel?" the guy asked.
"I'm Angel."
"I'm Darin MacNamara. I uh, checked around. You have a reputation for handling unusual problems."
Wesley nodded. "A richly-deserved reputation."
Darin swayed, and Angel and Wesley ran up and caught him before he collapsed.
"Hey, are you all right?" Angel asked him.
They helped Darin over to the couch.
"Yeah, I think I'm going to pass out. I'm - I'm sorry, it's just that...my brother...Jack. He - He was kidnapped last night." He offered Angel a small, white jewelry box. "I found this in my mailbox today."
Angel opened the box to reveal a severed finger. "Do you know the people who did this?"
"Well, that's why I came to you. They weren't people."
Angel was looking at some photographs of a blond guy.
"That's my brother, Jack. My brother and I haven't been exactly...close...since we grew up. I made something of my life, and Jack...didn't."
Cordelia handed him a drink.
"Thanks. I don't know what they want. There was no calls, no note, just-"
"But you were there when he was taken." Angel looked at him.
"Jack called me last night, asked me to come over. He's got a gambling problem. He said he was in over his head with one of his bookies."
"Do you know which one?" Cordelia asked him.
"Ernie Nellins. He works at a sports bar in Silverlake called Shots. I paid this Nellins before. I told Jack this time to go to Hell. I wanted him to suffer the consequences of his actions. I didn't know something like this was gonna happen."
Wesley looked at him. "You couldn't. It's not your fault."
"I felt guilty. So I went over there, and there were these - I don't know - creatures. They were dragging him away. I-I tried to stop them, but..."
"And you haven't heard from anyone?" Angel asked him.
"No. I'll pay anything to get him back. He's family. He's my little brother."
"Look, my colleagues will...start looking into whoever or whatever kidnapped your brother, and, um..." Angel handed him a pad and pen. "...in the meantime, write down everything you saw."
"Okay. Thank you! What about the bookie?"
"I thought we could have a little chat."
Buffy and the Slayerettes were performing at the Bronze. Harmony and Faith were sitting at a nearby table. Harmony had her video camera set up on her tripod and was taping the set.
Buffy looked at her bandmates. "Okay, so next we got-"
"Buffy." Tara was looking up.
Buffy looked up. Sunday was climbing across the underside of a catwalk, trying to position herself for a leap onto the stage. Buffy looked out at the audience and started playing her guitar. The rest of the band immediately recognized the tune and joined in.
Buffy smiled. "So no one told you life was gonna be this way."
In her excitement, Sunday grinned, let go of the catwalk, and started clapping. She fell to the floor and landed with a thud. The band stopped playing. Sunday got to her feet and looked at the stage. Buffy was staring at her, amused.
Sunday stared at her. "C'mon, Slayer, let's finish this."
"Finish what, Sunday?" Buffy asked her. "I don't wanna fight you. Just give back the ring that you stole, and I'll leave you alone."
Sunday put her hands on her hips. "Come and get it, bitch."
Faith grabbed Sunday from behind, getting her in a chokehold. "She said give it back, Moon Unit."
Sunday elbowed Faith in the chest, pushing her back, but Faith dragged Sunday back as well. Sunday stomped on Faith's foot, but Faith refused to let go of her. Buffy set down her guitar, jumped off the stage, and ran toward Sunday. Sunday kicked her in the face and then swung around, throwing Faith off her. She ran toward the door to the alley and left the building.
Buffy and Faith ran after her, exiting the Bronze.
They ran into her in the alley. They looked where she was looking. A vampire was feeding on a girl from behind, making slurping noises and holding the girl's arms. The girl was gasping. Buffy took a stake out of her jeans pocket. Sunday smiled in amusement and snatched the stake out of her hand.
"Hey!" Buffy yelled.
The girl's arms flailed.
Sunday walked up and hit the vampire in the back using the stake. "Hey!"
The vampire let the girl fall and turned.
Sunday put forth an admonishing finger as if speaking to a child. "You can't do that!"
"Why not?" the vampire asked her.
"Because it's wrong."
"Is this cunt for real?" Faith asked Buffy.
Sunday blocked a right punch and a left punch. She kicked him in the leg and spun the vampire around and held him. She staked him and threw him to the side. Sunday exhaled and looked down at the girl. She was squatting, and she looked up at Sunday.
"You'll live."
"Uh, he was so strong, uh-"
"Yeah, well, he's gone now." Sunday turned.
The girl grabbed her hand. "Thank you. Thank you."
"Yeah." Sunday shrugged. "It's cool." She shrugged again, walked off, and dropped the stake.
Buffy and Faith stared at her as she walked by them.
Sunday looked at them for a moment, then rolled her eyes. "Oh, shut up." She jumped up to the roof of a nearby building and was gone.
Later, Cordelia was sitting at her computer. "Okay, I'm in. What did Darin write down about the demon that took his brother?"
Wesley looked at the pad. "Bald, ultra-white skin, slime."
"There is always slime. This is why I don't gamble. You make a small wager one day, a bigger one the next, and, before you know it, Beetlejuicy albino comes a-knocking! Claws or hands?"
"He wrote claw-like hands."
"Could be a mixed breed. Smell?"
"Sulfuric."
"Add a Porsche and hair-plugs, and I've dated this guy - a lot. Other distinguishing characteristics?"
"An eerie, high-pitched howl or wail. I'm assuming that's when it's preparing to fight or mate."
"Okay, first, I say 'yuck', and then I hit Search."
Wesley picked up a book. "You know, by the time you get done entering all this in your fancy-shmancy database, I could have located it just-"
"Got it."
Wesley looked at the screen. "A Howler demon."
The next morning, in their dorm room, Buffy and Tara, along with Faith, were sitting on the bed, watching TV and eating pepperoni pizza. Suddenly, a special report interrupted.
"We're coming to you now with breaking news happening right now. A group of men have stormed St. Anne Catholic Church in the town of Sunnydale and barricaded themselves in the church with at least twenty parishioners. One of the few who escaped described the three men as frightening, almost inhuman, with bad teeth. So far, one escapee has since died of severe neck wounds. There is no report on the condition of the parishioners still trapped inside, but their assailants have vowed to kill all of them, if police attempt to storm the church."
Buffy stared at the TV in horror. "Shit."
"Vamps?" Faith guessed.
"Well, yeah, but...my mom goes to that church."
Tara looked at Buffy. "Do you think she-"
"I don't know. They have two Masses on Sundays."
Faith stood up. "Let's ride."
Tara kissed Buffy on the lips. "Be careful, sweetie."
"I will." Buffy stood up.
Angel had not checked in nor returned to the office. Cordelia grew worried. Wesley called Kate at the police station.
"Well, please let us know if you hear from him. Thank you." Wesley hung up.
Cordelia played nervously with her necklace. "Cop lady hasn't talked to him?"
"No, and she seemed like she didn't much care either."
"We should put out a missing persons."
Wesley got up. "He's only been gone one night."
"One long night, during which he was supposed to check in with us and didn't. And...he's not someone who tans well."
"He's probably just holed up in a tunnel somewhere, waiting for nightfall."
"Maybe." Cordelia paused in thought. "Still, something is very wrong. Our client, who should be waiting by the phone, is nowhere to be found!"
Wesley put on his jacket. "Right. Keep trying to track him down."
"What are you going to do?"
"Follow in Angel's footsteps."
"You're going to the bookie?"
"That's the last place we know Angel went."
"The bookie who may get his jollies cutting off people's extremities?"
Wesley opened a drawer. "That's why I'm taking this." He pulled out a tangle of weapons, scattering them across the floor. "Along with a few other things."
Buffy parked her van outside of the church. They heard sirens. Two police cars and an ambulance were parked outside. There were four uniformed police officers. One had just put down a radio. Buffy was surprised to see Riley with them. She and Faith opened their respective doors and got out of the van.
"What'd he say?" Riley asked the officer.
"He said I should defer command to you."
"Then you hold your men until the reserves arrive. This is a military situation."
"What, they got bombs in there?"
"Your men are not prepared to deal with them. Just trust me." Riley walked nearer the church.
Buffy quickly flashed her police identification to the officer and stepped in Riley's path. "The reserves have arrived."
"Buffy."
"How many are in there?"
"We think there's three."
"We can do three."
Riley tugged at her arm. "Not alone. Look, wait for the troops to get here. They're still mobilizing."
Buffy pulled out of his grasp. "How did you respond so fast?"
"I didn't. I was just late for church."
Buffy shook her head. "Look, when the troops get here, send 'em in, but we're going."
"I don't want you risking-" Riley tugged at her arm.
Buffy pulled away again, incensed. "Don't tell me what to do! I'm a Slayer. I have to do this."
"Then I'm coming with."
Buffy poked Riley near which he was hurt.
"Ow!" Riley cried in pain.
Buffy stared him down. "I can't use you. Someone comes out, you get 'em to safety. Unless they've got fangs." She opened the door and entered the church.
Faith paused by Riley as she followed Buffy. "Lucky for you you didn't try that shit with me."
The door closed behind Faith. The two women took in the scene.
A vampire stared at them. "I told the cops: they send anyone in, I start the whole massacre thing."
Buffy gave him a sweet smile. "Well, I'm not the cops. I just came to pray."
"Now's a good time to start."
"You're not gonna kill these people."
Buffy and Faith looked behind them. They were shocked to see Sunday standing there.
"Why not?" the vampire asked her.
Sunday stared at him. "Because it's wrong."
A vampire attacked from behind. Sunday threw him up in the air. He collided with a column, fell to the floor, and didn't get up.
The lead vampire stared at her. "You're the Slayer."
Sunday grimaced. "Wrong." She bared her fangs.
"You think we're afraid of you? We're not afraid of anything anymore."
"Then let all these people go, and all three of you can take me on."
Buffy went and stood by Sunday's side. "Take us on."
Faith joined them.
"Heh. I got a better idea."
He swung at Sunday, and she dodged and hit him in the stomach, backhanded his face, and kicked him in the waist. He went down. Buffy kicked another vampire in the stomach and knocked him back. Then Faith kicked the vampire that hit the pillar and sent him flying. Buffy drove the second vampire back with a series of punches as people fled. She broke off some wood from the back of a pew and staked the second vampire. She tossed him aside. The vampire that hit the pillar fled and grabbed a robe.
Faith chased him outside and tackled him. They fell and rolled. They got up, and he hit Faith in the face. Faith spun him and threw him down and held onto the robe. The sunlight burned him up.
"You forgot your coat." Faith dropped it and ran back into the church.
Inside, the last vampire broke the stake lose from Buffy's grip and threw her back against a pew. "I have strength you couldn't dream of." He punched Buffy in the face. "Adam has shown me the way, and there is nothing - aah!"
A stake came out of his chest. He fell to the floor, dead. Sunday was standing there. Buffy leaped to her feet. Sunday quickly circled around her and ran outside.
Buffy and Faith ran after her. They looked around but couldn't find her.
"Fuck!" Buffy exclaimed. "She's gone!"
Faith looked around. "She couldn't have gotten far. C'mon!"
Cordelia, in a fake fur coat, and Wesley, in a white suit, walked up outside of a club named XXI.
Cordelia saw a couple getting out of a car. "Those two are perfect."
"Did you bring the badge?"
"No."
"You said you had-"
"Sir, madam, I'm Detective Andrews, and this is Detective...Yelsew. Show them your badge..."
Wesley took his wallet out of his inside pocket and waved it through the air without letting them get a look at it.
"...and write down their license plate number: four, three, niner, Peter, Charley, Edward."
"What are you doing?" the man asked. "Why are you writing down-?"
"Sir, if you could just calm down and give us your name?" Cordelia requested.
"My name is Matthew Winslow, as in Winslow Multimedia? And I happen to be a personal friend of your boss...Chief Parks?"
"We'll give him your best. Could I see your tickets, please?" Cordelia requested.
Winslow handed her his tickets. "You'll be hearing from my lawyer tonight."
"Are you aware that you've purchased tickets to an unlicensed sporting event?" Cordelia asked him.
Wesley nodded. "Answer the detective."
"Well, if it's illegal, what are all these people doing here?" Winslow asked Cordelia.
"We're trying to do you a favor, Mr. Winslow."
"Something is going down tonight. Something with the man."
Cordelia kicked Wesley.
"A raid?" Winslow asked her.
"We're not at liberty to say."
"But we could just...go on home?" Winslow asked her.
"I think that would be a wise thing to do, sir."
Winslow mouthed 'Thank you', and he and his lady got back into the car. Cordelia elbowed Wesley as they walked off.
"What?"
"You almost blew it!"
"I saved it!"
"Urgh! 'Something is going down with the man?' You idiot!"
Cordelia and Wesley walked into the arena. Angel was in a pit, being pummeled by a demon. The crowd was jeering and yelling for Angel to fight back, but he only blocked or ducked the punches.
Cordelia spotted Darin, who was playing with a bracelet. "I think we found our missing client."
They made their way closer to the pit.
"Oh, my God! What is this? Pit-Fighter?" Cordelia asked.
"These Octavian matches date back to the Roman Empire. I'd heard rumors of a revival."
"Couldn't they have just done West Side Story? What's with the bracelets?"
"If they cross the red line while wearing one...they disintegrate."
"Oh."
Darin put the bracelet down on top of the barrier and motioned to the guard standing next to him. The guard pulled out a short knife and dropped it in the pit. The demon picked it up and sliced Angel across the left upper arm with it. Angel bared his fangs.
"Killing blow! Killing blow!" the crowd started to chant.
Angel fended off a couple more swipes by the demon, then grabbed a hold of his knife hand and twisted it into the demon's own chest.
"Angel! Angel!" the crowd chanted.
The demon dropped, and Angel looked down at the blood on his hand.
"Official time: 7 minutes, 33 seconds. This marks the first of what promises to be many more kills by the vampire! Angel!" the announcer announced.
Cordelia and Wesley looked on as Angel turned and walked out through the doors.
Cordelia and Wesley were walking outside of the club.
"We've got to call the police."
"Uh, I don't think that's a good idea."
"Why?" Cordelia asked.
"If, by some miracle, they're not already in on this, MacNamara would destroy the evidence the moment they showed."
Cordelia realized what that meant. "He'd kill the fighters. We've got to get Angel out of there!"
"I know. And to do that, we have to get him out of those wrist-cuffs. No mean feat. They were forged by ancient sorcerers."
"So get an ancient key!"
"I might be able to make one myself...if I could get my hands on one of those cuffs. Which isn't going to be easy..."
Cordelia pulled a cuff out of her pocket and held it up.
"...unless you happened to procure one while I wasn't looking."
They smiled at each other.
"Well done!" Wesley praised.
"Thank you."
Back at Angel Investigations, Wesley worked on the bracelet while Cordelia watched.
"You'd think people get enough gratuitous violence watching Jerry Springer."
"Cordelia, do you mind? I'm trying to concentrate."
"You've been concentrating all night."
"Yes! It's taken this long to translate the text. I need something that conducts electricity but not too much of it. This cuff is half magic, half...medieval technology. If I read the alchemist correctly...all I need is..."
He touched a wire to the cuff. There was an explosion of sparks, and Wesley was thrown backwards onto the floor.
Cordelia ran over to him. "Ouch! Are you okay?"
Wesley sat back up. "Perhaps...something that conducts a little less electricity."
The bracelet was in the vise on Angel's table. Wesley, holding a pair of pliers, slowly touched the stick held with them down on the bracelet. Nothing happened.
Wesley peeked up above the edge of the table. "Too thick."
Cordelia peeked out from behind a pillar. "Oh. Tick-tick, Wesley!"
"I don't know what else to try. We need something supple enough to thread the locking mechanism but strong enough to spring the release."
"Horsehair."
"Horsehair?"
Cordelia fiddled with her bracelet. "From Keanu, my palomino, before the IRS took him away."
Wesley took a strand of hair and put it between the pliers. "Horsehair."
"Well, we tried just about everything else."
Wesley ducked back down below the table, and Cordelia ran back behind her pillar. Wesley touched the horsehair to the "XXI" on the cuff. There was a short zap, and it sprung open.
In XXI, Cordelia walked down a dirty hallway and up to a guard. "Can you help me? I'm a little lost." She drew the guard away from the corridor opening that he was standing in front off. "I'm looking for the ladies' room. They said it was this way...or is - is that back up one level?"
Cordelia was watching Angel and a demon fighting. A guard dropped two pointed wooden staffs into the pit. The demon caught one out of the air; the other dropped to the ground. As he charged Angel with it, Angel vaulted out of the way, picking up the other stick as he rolled back to his feet, and the fight continued. The crowd was getting excited, Wesley walked into the area above the pit, looking for Cordelia.
Cordelia saw him. "Wesley, what happened?"
"One of them took my key."
"Angel can't last much longer. We have to do something now."
Wesley spotted Darin. "We will."
Angel had lost his staff, and the demon had him in a bind. Angel managed to throw him against the wall, but he bounced back, stabbing Angel through the gut with his staff. Angel hit the staff, breaking it in two (one half still stuck through his side), caught the demon's wrist as he tried to hit Angel with the remaining piece, and kicked his feet out from under him. The demon landed hard on his back. Angel pulled out the piece stuck in his side and pressed the pointy end against the demon's throat. Angel got off him, threw the stick away, and walked off as the crowd booed. The demon got back up and kicked Angel in the back.
"Killing blow! Killing blow!" the crowd chanted.
As the demon beat up on Angel, who was not even trying to block any of the blows anymore, Wesley pulled Cordelia over towards Darin. The demon pulled back his fist to hit Angel, who was in pretty bad shape by now, again, and they stared at each other.
"Killing blow! Killing blow!" the crowd kept chanting.
The demon lowered his fist and stared up into the stands. The crowd fell quiet. The demon looked back at Angel, then turned away, and Angel collapsed to the ground. The demon scanned the crowd.
Darin looked down at the guards in the pit. "Both of them."
The guards raised their cattle prods.
Wesley held a gun on Darin. "Call them off."
"Fuck you."
Some of the spectators started to leave as Wesley cocked his gun.
The doors to the pit burst open, and the demons stormed the arena. Darin grabbed Wesley's gun hand as he was distracted, and the two of them started to struggle. The demons were beating up the guards as the crowd ran for the exits.
A demon bent over Angel with the key. "Give me your wrist." He unlocked the cuff. "Loser."
The demons had killed all of the guards, and most of them ran back out through the doors in the pit. Darin managed to get the gun away from Wesley and pushed him down. As he aimed to shoot him, Cordelia pushed him over the railing, into the pit, with a metal stand.
Darin pointed the gun at the demon that Angel had fought. "You stupid slave. You had your twenty-one! But you had to go and ruin it for everybody else."
The demon pivoted, so Darin's back was to Angel and the other demon. Angel pulled Darin's hand down as he shot, and the second demon locked a cuff around Darin's left wrist.
He threw Darin at the first demon. "Trepkos, catch."
Trepkos threw Darin up into the stands, and he disintegrated as he passed the red line around the pit. The bracelet landed on the floor, between Cordelia and Wesley, who were the only ones left up there. The demon unlocked Trepkos' cuff. Angel's knees gave as he tried to walk out.
Trepkos caught him. "Easy."
"Thanks. Thanks."
"It was a good fight."
"Yeah."
The three of them walked out. Angel swayed, and Trepkos caught him again before he fell.
Angel smiled. "I could have taken you."
Cordelia and Wesley supported Angel between them as they walked out of the club.
Cordelia looked at Angel in concern. "Angel you don't look so well; it's a good thing that you heal fast."
"Yeah. It's also a good thing you found me in time."
"We weren't going to let anything happen to you."
Wesley shook his head. "No."
"Well, I mean...beyond the slavery and the severe beatings and shit. Wesley came up with the key!" Cordelia praised.
"But Cordelia came up with the key to the key! In a clinch moment."
"You both did great. And...I think we did a...good thing here tonight."
Wesley looked after the departing demons. "Yes. We set the captives free."
"Well, actually, didn't we set...a bunch of...demons free?" Cordelia asked him.
"Oh. Well. Technically...yes."
That evening, Buffy and the Slayerettes were performing at the Bronze. Harmony was sitting at a nearby table. She had her video camera set up on her tripod and was taping the set. The band took a break and joined her at the table, pulling over additional chairs as needed.
"Have you heard anything about Sunday?" Harmony asked.
Buffy shook her head. "She's gone. Not a trace. I don't think she's coming back."
Amy shrugged. "Guess she's had her fun."
Sandy fumed. "Yeah. Fun."
Buffy looked at her. "Faith will track her down. She'll get your ring back."
Tara put a comforting hand on Sandy's shoulder. "It'll be okay."
Buffy smiled. "Yeah. C'mon, final performance of the night. Let's rock."
Buffy, Tara, Amy, and Sandy stood up and walked back onto the stage. They took their places. Buffy and Sandy picked up their guitars, Tara turned on her keyboard, and Amy picked up her drumsticks.
Buffy looked out at the audience and smiled. "Thank you for coming out to see us. This is our last song of the evening. Enjoy. All right! 1, 2, 3, 4!"
They started playing their instruments. Buffy sang the lead vocals, and the others - including Harmony and others in the audience - joined in for the shouts:
"Once upon a time,
Not so long ago...
"Tommy used to work on the docks.
Union's been on strike.
He's down on his luck; it's tough,
So tough.
"Gina works the diner all day.
Working for her man,
She brings home her pay for love,
Mmm, for love.
"She says 'We've gotta hold on
To what we've got.
It doesn't make a difference if we make it or not.
We've got each other,
And that's a lot for love.
We'll give it a shot.'
"Whoa, we're halfway there.
Whoa-oa, livin' on a prayer!
Take my hand; we'll make it, I swear.
Whoa-oa, livin' on a prayer!"