Shadow Over Hellmouth Chapter 78: No Place Like Home, a buffy: the vampire slayer fanfic

"No Place Like Home"

Based on the Buffy the Vampire Slayer Episode "No Place Like Home" Written by Douglas Petrie and the Angel Episode "Dear Boy" Written by David Greenwalt

In the Sunnydale industrial district, in a factory lot, Buffy was slammed against a chain link fence. She ducked just as a vampire's fist smashed into it where her head was an instant before.

The vampire was a huge, burly type, and he loomed menacingly over Buffy. "I've always wanted to kill the Slayer."

"And I've always wanted piano lessons. So, really, who's surprised we have all this unexpressed rage?" Buffy punctuated her words with blow after blow, knocking the hulking vampire back several feet.

He retaliated with a brutal punch to her face, sending her reeling.

Buffy blocked a second blow and wrenched the demon's arm behind his back and flattened him against the fence. "But honestly? I think I'm expressing mine better. Tell you what: you find yourself a good anger management class-"

The vampire threw her off.

Buffy slammed him back into the fence again and whipped out a stake. "-and I'll jam this pokey wood stick through your heart." Before the vampire could react, Buffy staked him and slipped the stake back into her coat. "I think that sets the world speed record for closure."

"Hey!"

A bright light shined in Buffy's eyes as she turned to see the factory night watchman approaching.

"Miss, if you're looking for one of those rave parties, I'm afraid you're late. Chased a bunch of kids out of here last night."

Buffy silently gestured at her badge and then at the corpse.

The watchman shined his flashlight down. "Oh. You're-"

"Yeah."

"And he's-"

"Yeah."

"Thank you for your service."

Buffy felt weird hearing that and didn't reply.

"I'll call it in. You can go."

Buffy grinned. "Already gone!" She turned to leave.

"Oh, hey! Hold it, miss. Take your...whatever this is with you." He bent over, picked up a glowing yellow orb, and handed it to Buffy.

Buffy looked at it curiously. "Thank you."

"Glow balls, huh?" He laughed. "I swear...I don't get your generation. What is that thing?"

"I'll let you know as soon as I find out." Buffy turned and walked off into the night.

Wesley was behind the counter with a big, old book in front of him. Cordelia was looking at some papers. Angel came in and plopped down on the sofa.

Wesley looked at him. "We made you some tea."

"Great."

Cordelia looked at him. "It's on the table right there in front of you."

"Table seems far."

"Ahhh, you must be all worn out from sleeping for the last three days." Cordelia looked at Wesley. "It's like living with the world's oldest teenager. According to my figures, if we are frugal and garner some paying clientele soon, we're financially sound through last Wednesday."

"What? Where's it all going?"

"Well, there's the fixed costs: the mortgage on the giant hotel, my salary; there's lots of other-"

"What about my salary? That's fixed, too."

"What if...every time you identified the demon in one of your big old books, we gave you ten bucks...or a chicken pot pie?" Cordelia offered.

"Oh, wait, I have another idea. No! Get a vision."

"It's not like you just hit me in the head, and - wham! - it happens."

Wesley lifted up his book. "What if we test that theory with one of my big old books?"

Angel looked at them. "Children, quit bickering. Something will turn up. Something always does."

Suddenly, Cordelia was hit with a vision.

Angel leaped to his feet, catching her. "Like that."

Cordelia got a blurry image of a bunch of robed guys fighting with fists and weapons. A green, slimy monster was seemingly growing out of a wall.

Wesley was looking through some old books laid out on Angel's desk while Cordelia was pacing with Angel near her.

"Are you all right? You're sure you don't want to sit down?" Angel asked her.

Cordelia rubbed her head. "If I sit, I throw up in my head."

Wesley pointed to a picture in one of his books. "Did it look like this?"

Cordelia looked. "No, more mushy and more moldy. It was growing right out of the wall!"

Angel plopped back down on the couch. "Maybe I'll just-"

"Mush monster's not going anywhere; it's the place we've got to find; its disciples are human; they're killing each other. I think the fight is over how to worship it."

"This is why, personally, I rarely go to church."

Cordelia and Wesley ignored him.

"I thought it was funny."

"Well, what did the place look like?" Wesley asked Cordelia.

Angel jumped up with a shout, making Cordelia and Wesley turn to look at him

"Ah. Didn't doze off; here I am; where were we?"

"Trying to ascertain the location in Cordelia's vision."

Angel paced. "Ascertaining, here we go."

"You're so weird lately." Cordelia paused. "It felt sacred - in a twisted, demonic kind of way; it's - it's underground, like in a tank or something...full of pillars."

Angel looked at her. "Like a water tank."

"Could be."

"Saint Bridget's - in Fremont. A convent - built on native burial grounds. The land's cursed; they had eight murders in two years before the whole place burned to the ground...which is nothing compared to what happened at Our Lady of Lochenbee-"

They gave him a look.

"I have a thing for convents. Anyway, the state bought Saint Bridget's and dug a water tank there. We're gonna need some muscle. Call Gunn; he's on the payroll now."

"Right - but not in a fixed way like me. He's more an outside contractor; do you think we can really afford-"

"Wesley."

Wesley reached for the phone. "Calling Gunn."

Angel, Gunn, Cordelia, and Wesley walked down a long stairway and into a huge, cavernous chamber full of long, slender pillars. They stopped at the bottom, looking over where people in black robes were fighting others wearing red in front of the slimy thing from Cordelia's vision, spanning the space between two pillars.

Gunn looked at Angel. "You are not paying me enough for this. My Uncle Theo always said never buy a dull plow and never get in the middle of a religious war."

"You really have an Uncle Theo?" Cordelia asked him.

"No, but it's still good advice."

Angel looked at Wesley. "So...what do you think, a thrall demon?"

"Yeah."

"So kill the Big Ugly, it un-thralls the groupies, and they stop killin' each other."

"Absolutely. Yes." Wesley paused. "That's the theory. Thrall demons can be tricky."

Cordelia smiled. "Well, at least, they're killing each other and not-"

Just then, the slimy demon spotted them. "Intruders!"

Both black and red robes turned from fighting each other to stare at Angel's group.

"-us."

The thrall demon's groupies charged them, screaming. A big fight ensued. Angel got knocked down from behind by one of the red robes. He rolled back up and started wailing on the guy.

Gunn looked at him. "Angel, I'll try to get fathead; watch my back."

Angel didn't acknowledge him.

"Or just keep beatin' on that big guy."

Cordelia ran up, ax raised to clobber the thrall demon, but was hauled back by one of the disciples. Wesley hit the guy holding Cordelia over the head, freeing her. Cordelia made her way through the fight and sunk her ax into the thrall demon's head, and all of the fighting stopped - except for Angel still wailing on the guy laying on the floor.

"Angel, it's over." Wesley pulled him off. "Stop!"

Wesley walked back over to the others as Angel looked down at his victim and wiped a hand across his forehead.

Angel's group and the now-peaceful disciples walked out of a little building housing the head of the stairs.

"So this whole teamwork deal, that's a thing of the past now?" Gunn asked Angel.

"Job got done." Angel tossed his car keys to Cordelia. "Take the car; I need to..."

He headed off as the others stood and watched.

"He's just..." Wesley paused. "He hasn't been sleeping well lately."

Cordelia frowned. "He's off his game."

"Since when is it a game?" Gunn asked.

The next day, in the kitchen of the Summers' home, Buffy was preparing a breakfast tray for her mother. Dawn entered, smiling.

"Dawn, touch nothing."

"Who died and made you the Iron Chef?" Dawn asked.

"Look, Mom's sick, and I made her a nice non-instant breakfast for once. And I don't need you-"

Dawn knocked over the rose vase on the tray. "Oops!"

"-doing that."

Joyce entered in her bathrobe, smiling. "Oh! Check out the 'Pamper Mom' platter." She looked at Dawn. "You two do all this?"

"Oh, Buffy helped."

Buffy couldn't believe her sister. "I didn't 'help'-"

"I'm sure you did." Joyce sat down. "So neither of you is pregnant, failing, or under indictment?"

The sisters gave their mother dirty looks, unamused.

"Just checking."

Buffy softened her look. "We knew you were feeling less-than-great, so-"

"Yeah, the headaches they said would go away came back and brought some friends along with."

"Well, what did the doctor say?" Buffy asked her.

"Oh, take four of some pills a day and come back for tests."

"So they don't know what's wrong?"

"Not yet."

"Well, that's unacceptable. I think we should get a second opinion."

"Well, we need a first opinion first, honey."

"Okay, we'll go right now."

"Buffy, I know you're concerned, okay? But don't be. I'm still the mom. Which means I get to worry about you two. Which is a good thing, because you're a Vampire Slayer." Joyce pulled Dawn onto her lap. "And you...you are my little Pumpkin Belly!"

Dawn was embarrassed. "Oh, Mom! That's, like, my kid name."

"So I can't be retro?"

Buffy noted Joyce and Dawn's easy camaraderie and felt a little excluded. "Did you ever have any names for me?"

"No...I think you were always just Buffy."

Dawn smiled. "I got some names for ya..."

Buffy was hurt but covered.

"What are you doing, hanging around here? Isn't this Giles' big day?" Joyce asked Buffy suddenly.

"Oh! Bigger than big. It's his grand opening."

"So go. Bring me back a...I don't know...a flying broomstick or something."

Dawn looked at her. "Those never really work."

"Whatever. Book club tonight?"

"Uh-huh."

"You guys have a book club?" Buffy asked in surprise.

They looked at her.

"Okay, I'm gonna go. I will be back later." Buffy looked at Joyce. "What time is your doctor's appointment?"

Joyce gave her an exasperated look.

"I just want to know. Take it easy. I want you to relax all day, keep your feet up, plenty of Oprah."

Dawn smiled. "Plus you can check my rain forest report, and, you know, there's, like, eighty-bazillion old board games-"

Buffy grabbed Dawn by the arm and dragged her out of the house.

"Hey! You said I couldn't come."

"Changed my mind."

Harold Jeakins was sitting on the couch across from Cordelia and Wesley, nervously playing with one of Angel's business cards. "I really need some help. They say he handles things - you know, unusual things. I'd like to see him right away."

"And he wants to see you - just as soon as he returns from an important case. Why don't I take a preliminary report and give you a list of convenient payment plans?" Cordelia offered.

Wesley handed Harold a list.

"Well, it's my wife, Claire; she's really a lovely..." Harold paused.

Wesley nodded. "Go on, it's all right."

"She gets abducted by aliens - on a regular basis."

Wesley stared at him. "Aliens."

"From outer space?" Cordelia asked.

"It's more common than people realize; one minute, she's there, and the next..." Harold paused. "She always comes back in a day or so."

"What is it you'd like us to do, Mr. Jeakins?" Wesley asked.

Harold took a receipt out of his pocket. "I trust Claire, but I found this receipt from the Franklin Hotel weekend before last when she was supposed to be in...the Trifid Nebula!"

Cordelia took the receipt and looked at Wesley. "I'm sure we can get to the bottom of this."

Behind them, Angel came up from the basement, looking tired.

"I mean if it's not aliens..." Harold saw Angel. "Is that...?"

Wesley nodded.

Cordelia smiled. "Mr. Jeakins, say hello to your new best friend."

Harold got up. "Do you think my wife's cheating on me?"

Angel kept walking towards his office. "Probably."

Cordelia looked at Harold nervously. "Oh, he - he really likes you; he's jumping right in."

"He's taking the...?" Harold paused. "He didn't seem that-"

Wesley walked Harold towards the door; Cordelia headed to Angel's office.

"Oh, he's eccentric; all the greats are: Sherlock Holmes, Phillip Marlowe-"

"Those are fictional characters."

"Right you are! Which gives Angel rather a leg up when you come to think it."

Wesley walked out with Harold.

Cordelia sat down to enter information into the computer. "That's a terrific way to treat our customers - especially since we so many of them."

Angel moved up behind her.

"See his file?" Cordelia asked.

Angel leaned down as if to get a better look at the screen but instead started smelling Cordelia's hair.

"He has Visa, MasterCard, and a problem; he's our target audience. But if you want to be rude, I guess it's your shop..." Cordelia paused. "Angel?"

Angel was touching her hair.

"What are you...? What are you...? Personal bubble." Cordelia jumped off her chair and headed away from Angel. "Personal bubble!"

Wesley came back in at that moment, rolling up his sleeves. "I need to speak to you, man to man. Cordelia, you may not want to be here for this." He paused. "Was it something I did?"

"He was feeling my hair."

"What?"

"I'm sorry, I-I didn't mean to...I-I've been so out of it...lately...because of her. I saw her...here in town. Last night."

"Who?" Cordelia asked.

"Darla."

"Darla, the vampire? Your sire?" Cordelia asked, confused.

"I've been dreaming about her like crazy. And the dreams have been so..." Angel laughed. "I thought I was losing my - my mind. But she's back; she's alive."

Cordelia stared at him in concern. "What you're saying is impossible. You staked her to death three-and-a-half years ago."

"I know that. I also know it was her."

"Vampires don't come back from the dead."

"I did. And I saw her. I'm not crazy!"

"Where?" Wesley asked.

"Right between the clowns and the big, talking hot dog."

They just looked at him.

"Walking on the promenade."

Wesley stared at him. "You said yourself you've been having dreams. Maybe it's guilt over killing your sire."

Cordelia nodded. "Right, guilt. Who loves guilt like you love guilt? You know what you need? You need to go to work. We just got an exciting new case: could be aliens; could be adultery. It's a corker!"

"Maybe I'm dreaming about her, because she's here-"

"And maybe you think she's here, because you're dreaming about her." Wesley shook his head. "Go to work, Angel."

Buffy entered the Magic Box and glanced up at the quaint bell that rang when she opened the door. She strolled into the store, taking in the curios and knickknacks lining the shelves. The store was quiet and empty. She looked up to find Giles standing serenely in the center of the store, dressed in a spangled purple robe and pointed purple wizard's cap. Giles smiled cheerily at Buffy, who merely stared him down. Finally, he dropped the facade and shrugged out of the costume just as Dawn burst through the door behind Buffy, gasping for breath.

"I told you you couldn't ditch me!" Dawn looked around. "Whoa...Mr. Giles! This place is so...wow. I mean...check out all the magic junk."

"Our new slogan..."

"So when's it open? You know, for customers?" Dawn asked.

"Since nine this morning, actually."

Buffy looked at her sister. "Dawn. Go. Browse. And-"

"'You break it, you bought it.' Heard you the first sixty times." Dawn wandered into the recesses of the store to check the place out.

Giles looked at Buffy. "Still, not to worry. No, I've got feelings about this place. Magic's a small, niche market, but...well, think about it. Sunnydale...monsters...supply and demand. They'll be lining up around the block in no time."

"Yeah. You'll be making money hand over fist." Suddenly puzzled, Buffy held her hand over her fist. "Which I guess is a good thing."

"You all right? You seem a little distracted."

"It's just my mom's still sick, and we have no idea what the deal is."

"She is getting medical attention?"

Buffy frowned. "Yeah. We have a highly-trained medical staff working 'round the clock to tell us jack shit."

"I'm sorry. Still, you know, time and patience...both great comforts-"

The bell jingled as Tara and Amy entered.

Tara ran in, excited. "Mr. Giles! Where's your hat and cloak?"

Amy smiled. "Yeah, the hype was out of control."

Dawn ran over to them. "Tara! You gotta see this. They have the coolest talismens...mans...talisguys. I-"

"Actually, I have a little Slayer-centric deal to deal with first." Buffy reached into her bag and removed the glowing yellow globe. "I put this before the group. What the hell is it?"

Giles looked at it. "It appears to be paranormal in origin."

"How can you tell?" Tara asked him.

"Well, it's so shiny."

"Found it on patrol." Buffy handed the object to Giles.

"May be more where that came from. Can I go out with you tonight?" Dawn asked her.

"No."

"I meant on patrol."

Buffy gave her a look, then shook the mental image of what she was thinking from her head. "Still. No."

"Why not?" Dawn asked.

Buffy sighed. "'Cause you're, you know, a big spaz."

Dawn rolled her eyes.

Kate sat behind her desk as a detective approached it, carrying a manila envelope.

"...four-thirteen in progress at the corner of Yucca and Ivar; unit six is responding..."

Kate looked up. "Jack, what brings you to Siberia?"

"Hello, Kate."

"You been sick?"

"No."

"Busy, then; too busy to pick up a phone and say hi?"

"Uh..."

"We were friends. I thought you were different."

"Hey, I went to bat for you. I stuck my neck out when they decided to move you out of downtown. But you don't like mainstream work; you've got the scanner going day and night, chasing the bizarre and grotesque; what, did you think they'd promote you?" Jack dropped the envelope on her desk. "A...friend of a friend thought you might want this."

She opened the envelope. Inside was a picture of the Hyperion Hotel and a new business card of Angel's - with a new address and a new phone number on it. There was also a note that read "He's moved."

"Thanks."

"Stay out of trouble."

Buffy and Dawn entered the foyer.

Dawn sighed. "That was not my fault! That dinglehopper was flimsy! We can't all be born with big, fancy, Chosen One reflexes, you know."

"Shh! Mom?" Buffy called.

A soft moan came from the living room.

Buffy and Dawn rushed to Joyce, who was laying on the couch in obvious distress.

"Mom!" Buffy yelled.

"What's wrong?" Dawn asked.

"It's just my head."

Buffy frowned at the sound of her mother's weak voice. "I'm taking you to the doctor."

"No, sweetheart. I'm fine."

"We don't know that. We don't know anything. We're going."

"I just need my prescription. Please?"

Buffy picked up the slip and stood up straight. "Hospital pharmacy open?"

"Mmm-hmm."

"Ten minutes." Buffy headed out.

Cordelia, wearing a skimpy yellow waitress uniform, picked up some empty glasses from a table at the Franklin Hotel, an upscale hotel. She walked past a woman with long blonde hair and a guy wearing the uniform of a repairman.

"You sure about this, right in the middle of the day?" the guy asked.

Cordelia slid some napkins with a tiny microphone hidden between them along the top of the bar, so it was aimed at them. Angel was hidden behind a planter and listening via an earwig. He had a small tape recorder in his hand.

"Marty, the aliens abduct me when the mood hits, and the mood hit pretty hard this morning right about the time Harold left for work."

"No kiddin', yeah?"

Wesley, sitting and reading a newspaper, lifted a tiny camera to his eye and snapped a picture of the couple.

"Of course, if you're not in the mood-"

"No, no, I'm in the mood; I'm deep in the mood. I'm going to abduct you right now and conduct my own probe."

Claire laughed.

"It's just I still got a lotta repairs-"

"Well, I hope nothing important is broken."

"No, no. It all works."

Claire got up from the bar. "So let's go upstairs."

Angel came out from behind the planter and headed to intercept them. As he passed by Wesley, who was snapping more pictures, he pulled the camera out of his hand. "Claire, hold on."

Claire stopped, startled. "Do I...know you?"

Cordelia went to stand behind Wesley, staring at Angel.

"I've been listening." Angel took the earwig out. "I'm over here behind some plant with this machine, recording you two, while my associates here..." He gestured towards them.

Cordelia waved at them while Wesley retreated behind his newspaper.

"...have been tailing you around all day, taking pictures. I don't like doing this. It's crass. Your husband knows. Go home. Tell him the truth. Work it out or...leave. I don't care. But this..." Angel threw the camera at them.

Marty caught it. After a short look at each other, he and Claire left in opposite directions. Angel moved off, and Cordelia and Wesley fell into step with him.

"What the fuck was that?" Cordelia demanded. "We had a paying client."

"Not everything is worth getting paid for."

"Easy to say when you don't need food to survive."

Angel slapped his recording equipment against Wesley's chest as he spotted a woman with long blonde hair getting up from a chair across the lobby of the hotel.

"That's her."

He stepped in front of her as she walked out while looking through her purse, and she bumped into him.

"Oh, I'm sorry..."

"I guess you didn't take that whole death thing to heart, huh?" Angel grabbed her wallet and flipped it open to reveal several credit cards stuck in its pockets. "What are you trying to do, pass as human?"

She grabbed the wallet and stuffed it into her purse. "Excuse me."

"I know your voice, Darla. I can smell you."

Cordelia stared at him. "Uh-oh."

"I don't know what you're talking about. Now, just leave me alone?" She tried to pass him.

Angel grabbed a hold of her arm. "I don't know what kind of game you're trying to play, but you're not gonna win."

Wesley stepped forward. "Angel, I really think-"

"Is everything all right?" a hotel security guard asked.

"No. This man, he's trying to..." She paused. "My name is DeEtta Kramer. My husband is outside right now, getting our car right now. I don't know anyone named Darla."

"I know it's you. And I know you're not going out into that sun anytime soon."

The security guard tried to pull Angel away, but Angel threw him off.

She ran, screaming, away from him. "Stephen! Stephen!"

Wesley put a hand on Angel's arm. "Angel-"

Angel shook off his hand, never taking his eyes off her as she ran towards the sunny patch in front of the doors.

A guy came running and caught her in his arms. "Are you okay?"

She nodded, looking back towards Angel, who stared at her standing there, unaffected by the sun shining in on her.

The technician handed Buffy a bottle of pills, and she turned to leave, examining the bottle as she went. She passed two orderlies and a nurse wheeling a patient down the corridor on a gurney.

"Hey!"

Buffy stopped and turned around.

"It's Buffy, isn't it?"

Buffy looked at the blonde woman, confused.

"Gloria...but you can call me nurse. Everybody else here does."

Suddenly, the patient sat up, struggling to get off the gurney. It was the factory night watchman from the night before. "I don't belong here. I have important instructions. Fascists!"

Gloria pushed him back down while the orderlies fastened his restraints.

"Now, you're hurting the nice orderly who's here to help you." Gloria looked at a nurse. "I need nine CCs of Phenobarbital in this guy n-"

Buffy stepped up and slammed the man down onto the gurney with one arm and effortlessly held him there.

Gloria looked amazed. "Or not." She looked at the orderlies. "Now, let's strap him." She looked at the patient. "For your own good, I promise." She looked at Buffy. "You've got some serious muscles."

"Thanks."

The night watchman seized Buffy's arm and looked at the medicine bottle that she was holding. "Doesn't even help. Doesn't make a damn bit of difference!"

Buffy looked at Gloria. "I've met this guy. He's a security guard. He's not crazy."

"If you say so..."

"They're coming at you. Don't think you're above it, missy. They come through the family! They get to your family!" the night watchman yelled at Buffy.

"My family? What do you mean?"

He let go of her arm, and the pill bottle fell to the floor.

Gloria looked at the orderlies. "Let's get him to Exam One. Now would be nice."

Buffy stared after him as the orderlies wheeled him out.

Gloria picked up Buffy's pills and handed them to her. "I'm really sorry about that. Here. For your mom?"

"Yeah, thanks."

"She's not feeling better?"

"Not yet, but she will be. I'm starting to figure out what's wrong."

Angel, Cordelia, and Wesley entered the Hyperion's hotel lobby.

Cordelia sighed. "That was really fun: the humiliation, running from the hotel security staff, and the nifty little outfit, which seemed to tell so many conventioneers: 'Pet me, I'm a whore.'"

Angel moved to the hotel desk and rifled through a big phone book.

Wesley looked at Cordelia. "It wasn't pleasant, but at least there's a silver lining."

"What silver lining?" Cordelia asked him.

"The woman walked into direct sunlight; obviously, she's not a vampire; obviously, Angel...made a mistake."

"Ya think?" Cordelia asked.

"We'll just put our heads together and help him come to grips with this thing." Wesley looked at Angel. "You're among friends; we're not going to condemn you."

"Right." Cordelia looked at Angel. "You're crazy; you need professional help."

"It was Darla. She's back...and she's human now...but I know her scent."

Wesley stared at him. "Angel...you can't just...sniff a person and know-"

Angel leaned ever so slightly closer to Wesley and inhaled. "You had sex last night...with a bleached blonde."

"Good Lord, how'd you-"

"That's unbelievable." Cordelia looked at Wesley. "I didn't think you ever had sex."

Angel closed the phone book. "She's not in the book."

"Who, Darla?" Cordelia asked.

"DeEtta Kramer, the person she's pretending to be. Run a title deed search; see if you can find an address for a DeEtta and Stephen Kramer."

"Okaaay." Cordelia paused. "And maybe try some other avenues."

"Like what?"

"What are you willing to do?" Cordelia asked him.

"Whatever it takes."

Giles handed a couple their purchase with a smile. "Thank you for choosing to shop at the Magic Box, and please do come again."

Tara sat at the table, perusing an ancient tome. Her tarot deck, The Robin Wood Tarot, sat on the table, and so did a sign that read "Tarot/Palm Readings: $10".

Giles waited until the couple left the store, then bounded over to her, giddy. "Did you see that? Customers! Real, live customers! They came in, and I gave them things, and they gave me money, and then they left! It's brilliant!" He jumped back to the cash register to deposit the cash.

"Congratulations. Oh, nothing on the orb so far."

"Well, we'll just have to keep trying."

A group of customers entered and began browsing.

Giles looked at them. "If there's anything you need help with, let me know."

Buffy ran in, flustered. "Giles, I have an idea what's making my mom sick."

"Have you spoken with her doctors?"

"They won't find anything. What's hurting her, it's supernatural." Buffy picked up the orb. "The night watchman who found this thing? He went crazy, like, overnight."

Giles backed away cautiously.

"It won't hurt us. I had it on me all night. But this guy, he saw things;...he said things."

"Such as?"

"They'll come at me through my family."

"Who will?"

"I don't know...yet. But whatever touched this guy, it made him see through what the rest of us are seeing. He knew someone's hurting my mom, and they're trying to get to me."

"It's possible, but still...the ramblings of a madman aren't much to go on."

"Yeah, but it's a start. We need to find out who's making my mom sick and how."

"Then what?" Tara asked her.

"Then I hunt them...find them...and kill them."

Angel stood on the stage, holding a microphone. He looked around the hotel's ballroom. "So...you're...opening a club...in my hotel."

"My hotel." Cordelia smiled. "And yeah. I gotta pay off the mortgage somehow. The more revenue streams, the better."

"It looks nice."

"Thanks." Cordelia selected a track on the karaoke machine.

"Everybody Have Fun Tonight" by Wang Chung started playing.

Angel stared at the lyrics on the screen as he tried singing:

"I'll drive a million miles
To be with you tonight.
So if you're feeling low,
Turn up your radio.
The words we use are strong.
They make reality.
But now the music's on.
Oh, baby, dance with me,
Yeah.

"Rip it up.
Move down.
Rip it up.
Move it down to the ground.
Rip it up.
Cool down.
Rip it up.
Don't hang me on the borderline.

"Everybody have fun tonight.
Everybody Wang Chung - fun tonight.
Everybody Wang Chung tonight.
Everybody have fun tonight.
Everybody-"

Angel abruptly hit the Off button. "I'm very sorry." He put the microphone back in the stand. "Tell me about Darla."

"Whoa. Give me a sec. You are sending out some family-sized vibes." Cordelia paused to collect her thoughts. "I saw lots of things. You are at a crucial junction."

"So talk."

"So...no."

"What do you mean, 'No'? You won't tell me anything?"

"I tell you you're headed into trouble. Let her go. That way lies badness."

"You won't help me."

"Hey, I set people on their paths, okay? And this is way off your path, sweetie."

Angel leaned in closer. "Tell me where Darla is."

Cordelia pulled back, afraid.

"Cordy, it's me. Did you get an address?"

Cordelia hesitated. "Angel, Wesley and I think you really need to-"

"Cordelia, address, now."

Cordelia sighed. "DeEtta and Stephen Kramer own a home at 1409 Galloway in Studio City."

"Thanks." Angel left.

Cordelia stood there for a moment, then she left as well.

The shop was bustling with customers now. Jenny was working the register, and Buffy and Tara sat at the table, busily researching.

A customer approached Tara with an antique hourglass. "Do you gift-wrap?"

Tara looked at Jenny. "Do we?"

Jenny nodded.

Tara nodded. "We do." She stood up and held out her hands for the hourglass.

Giles was desperately trying to manage the customers and answer a flurry of questions. "No, no. Ground cloven hooves are thirty percent off. The whole ones are full price." He turned around. "That's not...candy!" He looked at Jenny. "Jenny! There's too many of them...people! And they all seem to want things."

"I hear ya, Rupert. Stay British. You'll be okay." Jenny wrapped up a woman's purchase and handed it to her. "Thank you for shopping at the Magic Box. Please come again."

The woman walked away.

Amy walked over to Buffy, sat down, and started researching. "Did you ever think you'd miss the high school library?"

"Someone put a spell on my mom. Something to make it seem like she's sick."

"That's a new kind of nasty. Any suspects?"

"Well, I've got the list narrowed down to just under infinity."

Amy noticed something in the book that she was browsing. "Oh, hey, Buffy, there used to be this French sorcerer back in the sixteenth century named...uh..."

"Cloutier?" Giles guessed.

"Thanks. Anyway, he had this one spell demons just hated called...uh...tirer la couture." Amy frowned. "I probably butchered that."

Buffy was confused. "'Rotate many foodstuffs'?"

"'Pull the curtain back'. A spell to see spells..." Amy paused in consideration. "Well, a trance to see spells, actually, but you get the idea. Try that."

"What do you mean, 'see' spells?" Buffy asked her.

"Well, all spells leave a trace signature. It's just not perceptible to the human eye. In this case, it could be the image of a hand choking your mother. Or a cloud of mist around her. Or maybe the shape of the demon that's performing the spell."

"Okay, so I'll do what he did. I'll go home, I'll get trancey, and I'll see what's affecting my mom."

Giles frowned. "I don't know, Buffy. Trances? The Sorcerer Cloutier was legendary. His skills at achieving higher states of consciousness were-"

"Better than mine?" Buffy looked at Amy. "I knew he was gonna say that." She looked at Giles. "But I've been practicing concentration skills. I know I'm close."

"Are you ready?" Giles asked seriously.

"It's my mom. I'll get ready." Buffy looked at Amy. "What do I need?"

Cordelia walked into the lobby and approached the desk. "He went after her."

Wesley opened a drawer. "You really stood up to him. 'Next time I talk to him, I won't weenie out like you, Wesley.'"

"Don't start with me...and, if sound like that, shoot me."

Wesley removed a large pistol from the drawer.

"She joked!"

"It's not for you. It's a tranquilizer gun."

"You mean if Angel really does go off his rocker like he's done before?" Cordelia paused. "You think that'll do it?"

"I better call Gunn."

Cordelia pushed the phone over towards him.

Buffy sat on the floor, in the middle of her bedroom, and emptied out a bag of incense, powders, and other magical talismans. Buffy prepared for the ritual: incense was lit, and conjuring powder was poured in a circle on the carpet. She sat, cross-legged, in the center and placed her hands on her knees. She closed her eyes and began meditating. The silence was broken by a knock on the door.

"What are you doing?" Dawn asked.

Buffy felt frustrated. "My girlfriend. Go away."

"Liar. Are you doing magic?"

"No, I'm not!"

"Can I watch?"

"No, you can't!"

"Oh, come on! Please, please, like, times ten and cubed? Please?"

"Fuck off!" Buffy yelled.

Dawn tried to open Buffy's door, but Buffy stood up, walked over, and slammed it in her face.

"Yeah, well, I can smell your stinky incense down the hall, you know. And your clothes are gonna reek. And if you are doing magic, I am so telling."

Buffy folded up a towel and shoved it under the crack in the door. "Fine! Go! Go tell. Go do whatever the fuck you want. Just go!"

Buffy heard Dawn slam her bedroom door and momentarily felt bad for yelling at her. Buffy returned to the circle, sat, and resumed her meditation.

At night, Buffy was still in the lotus position, in deep meditation, her trance deepening with each passing moment. Her eyes suddenly snapped open, and she got up and left her room.

The house around her appeared grainy and sepia-toned, reality slightly altered. Buffy made her way down the hall and stairs to the living room, taking in her surroundings as she went, the familiar house suddenly appearing strange and new. Joyce's voice came to Buffy as if from a great distance. Buffy turned to find Joyce dressed and putting on her overcoat.

"Buffy?"

"Mom? Are you going out?" Buffy studied her mother carefully but saw nothing out of the ordinary.

"Well, either modern medicine's working, or I just took the world's best placebo. Either way, I'm going out for a couple of hours."

"Nothing..."

"Hmm?"

"There's nothing." Buffy stared intently at her mother, trying to detect anything abnormal, but everything seemed fine.

"Are you sure you're feeling okay? You seem a little out of it." Joyce paused. "Hey...Buffy?"

"Yeah. I'm fine. Long day's all. You go, have a good time."

Joyce smiled wistfully. "You're so grown up." Joyce turned and headed out.

As soon as she was gone, Buffy resumed her inspection. She searched the first floor of the house, then she went back upstairs.

Buffy approached Dawn's room and opened the door. Dawn was not there, and Buffy walked in.

"Buffy? Buffy." Dawn's voice echoed from far away, calling to Buffy.

Buffy turned to find Dawn, angry at her intrusion.

"Who said you could come in my room?" Dawn demanded.

"Sorry, I was just..." Buffy paused and considered what to say.

"Are you high?" Dawn asked her.

"Uh...yeah." Buffy walked out of the room.

The telephone rang. Buffy walked into her bedroom. The phone kept ringing.

Buffy took a deep breath and answered her phone. "Hello?"

She heard a bustle of customers on the other end.

"Buffy?" Giles asked. "Oh, I'm glad I've caught you. I think we may have underestimated what we're dealing with."

"Go on."

"We've uncovered more than expected about this orb. It's called the Dagon Sphere, and it has a history going back many centuries."

"What's it do?"

"It's a protective device used to ward off ancient, primordial evil."

"Any word on what this evil looks like?"

"Unfortunately, no. This is where - Excuse me. This is where accounts get vague. All we've managed to uncover so far is the Dagon Sphere was created to repel That Which Cannot Be Named."

"I'm going to go back to the factory where I found it. Whoever planted this doohickey's got answers."

"Buffy, you've heard me say this before, but do be careful. Anything that goes unnamed is usually an object of deep worship or great fear - maybe both. Have you completed the trance? Seen what's harming your mother?"

"That's the thing: I just saw nothing. It didn't work, or nothing was out of the ordinary."

"Oh. Well, let me know if you find anything at the factory."

"Will do." Buffy ended the call, dropped the phone in its cradle, and faced Dawn, standing behind her.

"What are you talking about?" Dawn asked.

"Slayer shit. I'm going out." Buffy headed for the door.

"Do you really think I care you're the Slayer?"

Buffy stopped and turned to her. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Dawn gave her a cold look.

"I'll be home in an hour." Buffy grabbed her jacket and left.

Gunn stared at the tranquilizer gun and chains.

"This is all just precautionary. When push comes to shove, Angel's our..." Wesley paused. "We trust him."

Gunn picked up the pistol. "I see."

Cordelia smiled weakly. "It's not like he turns evil every time he gets this cranky."

"He turns evil?" Gunn asked.

Wesley hesitated. "Well, there are forces that can make Angel revert to Angelus, the vampire he was before he got a soul."

"And as evil, blood-sucking vampires go, how would you rate Angelus?" Gunn asked him.

"Historically, as bad as they come. Especially when he was with his sire, Darla."

Cordelia nodded. "We're researching her now to see if maybe she has some kind of resurrection powers. Maybe she was a vampire cat with nine lives or something."

Gunn nodded. "So him and Darla together, bad combo."

Wesley nodded. "They rampaged through half the known world - until Angel got his soul."

Cordelia nodded. "Imagine Bonnie and Clyde if they'd had a hundred-fifty years to get it right."

"So he thinks his party girl is back." Gunn paused. "If he gets up to his old tricks, how bad can it get?"

Buffy easily snapped the chain on the fence and headed inside the factory.

Buffy flicked on her flashlight and started exploring the musty corridors of the abandoned building. Eventually, she came across a tremendous gaping hole in the wall and the twisted remains of a tempered steel door. She examined the wreckage with concern.

Kate walked beside the blonde woman outside of her house.

"I don't understand. They shot him; how'd he get away?" the woman asked.

"Adrenaline. They chased him for sixteen blocks. Don't worry, he's long gone; he can't hurt you now. One of my officers told me you recognized this man, that his name was Angel-"

"That-That's what he called himself. He - He started following me a few weeks ago. He - He said he helped the helpless. I told him I didn't need any help. He - He kept calling me...Darla. He - He said he knew me...or this Darla...from a long time ago. Today, we were having lunch at the Franklin Hotel, and he showed up again. He came here. I told him to j-just stay out, that I was calling the police, but he j-just broke in! And...this is gonna sound crazy, but he - he - he was...was biting-"

"It is not crazy. And I want you to know: I will find him, and he will pay for what he did."

The woman looked at Kate through tearful eyes. "Thank you, detective."

Kate took a few steps to the cops nearby. "I want you to get in touch with security at the Franklin Hotel; see if they have any tape on the incident with Mrs. Kramer there today. And I want you to make sure that the coroner treads lightly in there. I want this scene preserved."

Dawn was in the kitchen when she heard Joyce enter the house.

"Buffy? Girls?" Joyce paused. "Where is everybody?"

Dawn exited the kitchen, holding a teacup and saucer. Joyce started.

"Hi, Mom."

"Oh! Dawn. Where's Buffy?"

"You don't have to worry about her."

"You're probably right. I mean...it's not like she's never patrolled before. Anyway, I was feeling kind of - what's the medical term? - shitty. So I called off the big night out."

"Want tea, Mom? I made it for you."

Gunn was pacing while Cordelia and Wesley were researching.

"You all right?" Cordelia asked Gunn.

"Yeah. I'm just adjusting to the idea that this good-guy vampire I work for can go bad."

Wesley looked at him. "It takes a little time. We've all been through it."

Cordelia smiled. "Ninety-nine percent of the time, he's good. And he's done a lot for us."

"There's nothing I respect more than loyalty."

Wesley nodded. "That's good to hear."

"But if the bad Angel walks through that door, I will kill him in two seconds flat."

Just then, the door burst open. Gunn pulled out a stake, but it was a S.W.A.T. team and Kate, and Gunn stuck his stake into his back pocket.

"Where is he?" Kate demanded.

Cordelia stared at her. "He's not here."

Kate looked at the cops. "Basement, attic, every room. He's extremely dangerous; bullets won't necessarily do the trick. Everyone's on channel two; you see him, you call me."

Several cops ran up both sides of the stairs. A couple headed into the garden; a couple headed for the cellar stairs.

"I don't suppose you have a warrant to go along with this little search?" Wesley asked Kate.

"Seeing as how he just murdered Stephen Kramer...and kidnapped his wife, I think I've got probable cause."

"He wouldn't..." Cordelia paused. "Angel could never do a thing like-"

"He's not the type of person who'd-"

"In fact, he's not a person at all, is he?" Kate paused. "You guys want to help yourselves out here...or go down with the boss?"

Cordelia and Wesley's only reaction was to fold their arms up in front of them.

"So be it." Kate looked at Gunn. "New player?"

Cordelia frowned. "He's a friend."

"What's your friend's name?"

Gunn stared at Kate. "Charles Gunn."

"Let's see some I.D., Charles."

He handed her his driver's license.

"Got any priors?"

"I forget."

Kate held the license up. "Montgomery, run the sheet."

Wesley looked at her. "Listen, whatever you think Angel did, I'm sure there's a-"

"Who's Darla?" Kate asked.

Buffy shined her light over the shattered remains of the blast door, then looked deeper into the room. She sensed someone silently approach her from behind.

"It was you who planted the Dagon Sphere, right? I got it. Don't worry. I'm stronger than I look. I have had experience with shit like this before. Best of all..." Buffy whirled around and seized an attractive blonde woman in a form-fitting red dress by the throat. "I'm not stupid."

The woman gave Buffy a withering look, wrenched Buffy's arm from her neck, and backhanded the Slayer with such force that she flew fifty feet across the room and impacted the cement wall so hard that she cracked it. Buffy fell to the floor and looked up at the woman, stunned at her power.

"You sure about that last part?" the woman asked.

The jingling bell signaled the departure of the final customer of the evening. Giles, Jenny, and Tara sat around the reading table, exhausted.

"Would someone please rip that bloody bell off its hinges?" Giles asked.

"Would that involve moving?" Tara asked.

Giles groaned. "My feet are numb."

Jenny groaned. "I'll see your numbness, and I'll raise you a lower back pain."

Giles sighed. "I think I liked it better when demons would just crash in here and tear the place apart. Just seemed so much simpler."

"Hey, any word from Buffy on how her spell went?" Tara asked them.

Giles looked at her. "She said it didn't work. Now, she's off investigating whoever left the Dagon Sphere behind. I just hope she isn't doing anything too rash."

Buffy slammed into the cement wall again, face first. The wall cracked under the impact.

The woman strode toward her and seized her by the shoulders. "And another thing? I just want you to know..." She slammed Buffy into a support pillar and pummeled her. "The whole 'beat ya to death' thing I'm doing? It's valuable time out of life that I'm never gonna get back."

Buffy tried to fight back, but the woman grabbed both of her arms and wrenched them downward. Buffy cried out in pain.

"Wait, I've always wanted to try this. You know that thing with worms where, if you have one, you rip it in half, you got two worms? Do you think that'll work with you?"

Buffy slammed her head into the woman's face and broke free.

"You hit me! What, are you crazy?" the woman asked.

Buffy pressed the attack, hitting and kicking for all that she was worth, forcing the woman backward, but her blows seemed more to offend her than injure her.

"You can't go around hitting people. What, were you born in a barn? Fine. Be that way." The woman easily blocked Buffy's next blow and swung her around into the wall.

She sent a blow for Buffy's head, but the Slayer ducked at the last instant, and the woman's fist punched through the concrete. She picked Buffy up by the throat and held her there, gasping for air.

"I just noticed something. You have superpowers. That is so cool. Can you fly?" the woman asked.

She hurled Buffy clear across the room, where she landed, dazed. Buffy got to her feet and prepared to engage the woman again but realized she was outmatched. Buffy ran toward the window. The woman charged after her. She was too late: Buffy crashed through the window and tumbled to the ground below.

Cordelia and Gunn stood around impatiently while Wesley sat with a book.

Kate walked in with Gunn's rap sheet. "Hey, looky here. Disturbing the peace, resisting arrest, G.T.A., assault." She looked at him. "You've led a rich, full life, haven't you, Charles?"

"I get around."

"Hey, I know this guy; he helps people. I bet this shit you're dredging up all happened a long time ago, didn't it?" Cordelia asked.

"Some of it when he was a minor."

"Uh-huh."

"And some of it in the last two weeks."

"Oh."

"Word to the wise, Charles: hanging out with these two and their creature-of-the-night boss won't be good for the résumé."

"I can see you're looking out for me, detective."

Cordelia looked at Kate. "Okay, okay, let's not get off track here. We want to find Angel as much as you do."

"No, you don't. You want to protect him, even though he's lost it: he stalked that woman, because he thought she was this Darla from his past; she begged him to stay out, and he knocked down the door and killed her husband. I've read about him, too; I know what he is, and I know he hasn't changed."

Gunn shook his head. "No, he hasn't; he's still a vampire."

Cordelia looked at him. "Gunn...not helping."

"So how'd he get in the house? She invite him in?" Gunn asked Kate.

"Of course, she didn't invite-"

Cordelia realized what Gunn was getting at. "The only way Angel could get in that house uninvited is if the real owners were dead. It's what he was saying all along; she isn't DeEtta Kramer!"

"You're grasping at straws."

"Are we?" Wesley showed his book to Kate. "This is a daguerreotype of Darla, taken over a hundred years ago. That woman who said she was DeEtta Kramer - look familiar?"

Kate looked at the picture of Darla wearing period clothing and recognized the woman that she had talked to.

The cops came down the stairs into the lobby.

"He's nowhere to be found."

Kate looked at the officer. "Leave some officers on the perimeter in case he shows."

The cops filed out.

Kate looked at Cordelia, Wesley, and Gunn. "I'll be sure and mention your cooperation in the report."

Cordelia stared at her. "Hey, we did more than cooperate; we solved the damn case. Find out who did away with the owners of that house, you'll find your killer."

"You don't get it, do you?" Kate asked.

"What, the fact that Angel's innocent?" Gunn asked her.

"The fact that, while you're fighting your big battles of good and evil, the innocent are the ones who get caught in the crossfire. Those are the ones I care about, like that man tonight, like the real owners of that house if what you say is true. And those are the ones I chalk up to your boss."

"You can't blame Angel for..." Wesley paused. "He's trying to do what's right!"

"That's right, he's good, I keep forgetting. I'm sorry, and why'd he kidnap that woman again?"

No one said anything, and Kate left.

Buffy entered the foyer, still somewhat in a daze. She found her mother and Dawn together on the couch in the living room.

Joyce looked at her in surprise. "I didn't expect to see you here."

"Just dropped by to say something."

Dawn got up and left the room. "I wasn't bothering her."

"What was that all about?" Joyce asked Buffy.

"Nothing." Buffy paused. "Sister stuff."

Buffy turned and followed Dawn up the stairs. Buffy knocked on Dawn's bedroom door.

"Go away."

Buffy opened the door and stood in the threshold. Dawn sat quietly on her bed.

"I'm sorry."

"You hurt my nose."

"I know."

Dawn stared daggers at her. "Butthole."

"Really sorry." Buffy took a few steps into the room.

"Broken record much?"

"You can't even take an apology. You always do that. Ever since I gave you a mohawk." Buffy sat down next to Dawn. "I just had a bad day."

"Well, join the club."

"Can I be president?"

"I'm president. You could be the janitor."

Buffy smiled. "Okay." Buffy reached up and stroked Dawn's hair.

"Buffy?"

"Yeah?"

"What's wrong with Mom?"

"I don't know."

Buffy and Dawn shared a troubled look as Buffy continued stroking her sister's hair.

The next day, in Homosassa, Florida, a fifteen-year-old girl named Eve Fuller, who had shoulder-length blonde hair, got off the school bus and opened her mailbox. There was nothing. She walked up the driveway, along the sidewalk, and up the steps of her front porch. She dug in her blue jeans pockets for her house key, found it, opened the screen door, and unlocked and opened the front door of her double-wide mobile home.

She walked into the living room and closed and locked the screen door but left the front door open. She tossed her bookbag onto the couch by the window and headed into the kitchen, which was immediately next to the living room with no wall or door to divide the two areas.

Eve opened the refrigerator and took out a two-liter bottle of regular Pepsi. She opened it and took a bunch of gulps directly out of the bottle. She closed the bottle, put it back in the refrigerator, and closed the refrigerator.

The telephone rang. Eve walked over and checked the caller ID. It was Walmart.

Eve picked up the handset and answered the call. "Hello?"

"Hi, Eve, it's me."

"Hi, Mommy."

"I'll be working late. They asked me to stay longer."

"Okay."

"So you'll have to heat up something to eat."

"I don't think we have anything."

Amanda Fuller paused. "Are you sure?"

Eve walked over to the refrigerator, opened it, looked inside, closed it, opened the freezer, looked inside, and closed it. "Yup."

"Shit. I'll have to buy some frozen dinners when I get off work." Amanda paused. "Order pizza, I guess. There's money in an envelope in the top-center drawer of my dresser."

"Okay."

"How was school?"

"It was okay. Got some homework."

"Well, get it done before you watch TV."

"Okay."

"Okay, have a good night. I love you."

"I love you, too. Good night."

Her mother ended the call. Eve turned off the handset and walked over to get the phone book. She looked up the number for Pizza Hut.

That evening, Cordelia knocked on the door to Angel's room. "It's us."

After a moment, Angel opened the door.

Cordelia had her hands hidden behind her back. "We didn't see you all day; we were just wondering if everything was, you know, copacetic."

"I didn't go bad, Cordelia."

"I was never worried about that, boss." Cordelia pushed the tranquilizer pistol into Wesley's hands. "Of course, Mr. Fussy Pants here always imagines the worst."

Wesley lifted up his hand, revealing the tranquilizer pistol. "What? I didn't...I never-"

"Is there anything else?" Angel asked.

Cordelia shook her head. "Nope. Can't think of a fucking thing."

Angel was about to close the door.

"Angel...be careful."

"What do you mean?" Angel asked Wesley.

"Well, it's just, with Darla back, in league with Wolfram & Hart, there are a lot of forces arrayed against you. There's going to be trouble."

Angel laughed. "Yeah. There's gonna be a lot of trouble...and I say bring it on."