IV: Heat
I did not want this life. This place, this fucking title that lorded over me like a reminder of submission rather than the freedom it implied. I despised it all.
Feyd, most of all.
It was he that pushed me into this. He used me as a trophy, no better than his harem.
My feet stomped over to the bathing room, past an oversized wardrobe not filled a quarter of its available space, and noticed a flick of silver upon the dresser.
Feyd's stupid ring.
It was two bands of silvery metal with an inky black of the coal of his home world. The pollution pumped into its dark air from burning the dark rock.
Next time I saw him, I'd return it.
Not his ring was mine, same as the title of his lady.
Prisoner was all that I was. Prisoner on its last moments. That was all I was.
Nothing more.
The time alone helped chill the tempers that had risen. Arrakis was a hot planet. It made it all the easier to flare to anger, I guess.
A servant entered the chambers. Over their head was wrapped a cotton shawl with a robe-like dress covering them down to the floor. Their eyes were warm brown, layered with lines deep-set in their face. I wrapped my arms tight against my chest.
They did come bearing a treat: a steaming golden tea kettle and a pair of ripe mangos larger than my fist.
"Greetings, Lady."
"Please," I said swiftly. "Do not call me lady."
"It is royal decree, yes?"
The tray was placed at a stone table. The scent of tea leaves filled the air with its woody aroma.
"Yes, but na-Baron forgets that I do not prefer to be addressed so highly." Then I thought longer. "Actually, I do not need any wait staff at all. I can serve my own needs. My station is so low that a mouse would rank higher than I."
The servant held the sleeves of their robe away as they poured the tea into its cup. "Na-Baron's knives don't seem sharp to you?"
I tilted my head.
"I only ask because anyone caught against his say will be faced with the opposite realization at the end."
I gritted my teeth. "The sooner your servitude would end. I say, why not move quicker to destruction?"
An incredulous scoff punctured the calm. "Do you not fear death?"
"No," I answered plainly. "I welcome it."
"Death is final door that only closes. Life has possibility for changes. But not death. No. Death is the end of all things."
An end to all things. That is exactly what I wished.
The servant refused to abandon the service. The crone. I was forced against my will to be brought meals and snacks and my own bound journal with real pencils to write with. There were scented body oils from the locals that were a popular way to rehydrate the flesh left out in the Arrakis sun.
I'd been denied most information about the planet. My servant - Vishti- filled me in on the horrid dangers of my new world.
"The day is hot. Much too hot," they explained. "We sleep during sun's highest. Save the life's water."
"How hot does it reach?" I asked as I took another slice of Cherubian pear. It was bright purple on the inside. Shipped from off planet, but available to me.
My mouth stained with the deep hue of the meat. It brought forth a memory of a slave girl I once saw bite through a man's throat to pull his wind pipe out. Her mouth was so full of blood, I vomited.
The image did not sour my stomach as it should have. I continued to suck the purple juice from the flesh with a mind full of death – without a blink.
Lady I was not. But neither was I human.
"Too hot for locals. Too hot for you. Look at you. Your flesh. It will turn black in one hour. Much, much too fair." They shook their hands in distaste. "Wear layers. Cover it. Never go in the sun unprotected. You can dry out and sssht."
The noise was a very amusing sound for meaning death.
"Open desert. Do not walk. Outside the walls, worms live."
"Worms?"
I'd heard the committee talk about them many times. Sand worms.
They meant something different in my mind. A worm was a little pink thing in dirt, so squishy and fragile.
"Shai'Hulud. They hear everything. They eats everything."
"A pink little worm?"
"Little?" Vishti scowled. "They swallow harvesters whole. Their mouths filled with razor blades. Swallow everything. No go into open desert, yes? You stay here where it is safe."
I shifted. My ears strained to listen for the sound of a massive worm that could swallow those massive trucks I saw on the screens.
"Why is it safe here?" I questioned. Anxiety crawled underneath my skin like I imagined worms did.
"Bedrock. The worms do not crawl through rock. The city is very safe, my lady. They will not come here. Fremen are smart to build in rock. We do what they do if we hope to survive the desert."
"Fremen?" That term, too, was familiar.
"The people who live in the unliveable lands. The open sands."
"People live out where those awful worms are?"
Vishti clicked her tongue. Her hands pulled a piece of cloth across my head. She used her fingers as measuring tools, taking the time to place them along a path through the long cool fabric. "How has you come to Arrakis, my lady? You have been wronged. No knowledge of the worms. The heat. The spice. The very blood of your Imperium, spice. What your Harkonnen masters steal for their riches. Do they not tell their women nothing?"
I blinked in surprise. My emotion long stowed away to reaction. "Worthy women know. Not me. They don't tell me nothing."
Vishti left later with the promise of a gift if I did not throw a fit at breakfast being served by their hands.
I was left to my own device within my new room. The large chambers had a small sitting room with a settee that was comfortable and soft. It was composed of beautiful architecture like most of the place. There were rounded archways that were etched in the stone walls. Shelves and storage were also set deep within the walls.
A control module was set into the wall near the front door of the chambers as well as back near the bed. My fingers fiddled with the small dials. Lighting of the room grew and darkened. As did the flow of the air from the vents.
Large black glass lined the entire back wall of the sitting room. A glorious expanse of total darkness I did not want to see. There had to be a switch for the windows somewhere.
The outer glass of windows began to lighten. I caught sight through the deep dark of the shades. A yellowing in the air. It was just above the bed in the bed chambers.
More of the city exposed as light slipped over their rooftops. The landscape speckled with buildings of tan stone rather than endless sands.
I climbed atop the high headboard ledge to properly view the dawn. Its sudden brightness of orange and pink through the night blinded me to the darkness of the world. For a small moment, I was a child curled in my grandmother's lap with my eyes upward at the sky with an innocent love of the galaxy around them that made the air so beautiful.
"I would not believe it an accident if you fell." Feyd's voice suddenly said behind my back.
My eyes stayed fixed on the rising sun. "The height is not tall enough to kill me."
"You sure?"
"Yes, na-Baron."
Despite my resistance to abandon the days shine, I allowed Feyd pull me off the ledge back to the mattress. My body bounced with the spring of the bed.
Everything about him was refined as the monster he wished to be. A menacing glare, alluring yet deadly.
He was death incarnate. The makings of what it took to become a monster in a human shell.
My eyes lingered in his, the taste of destruction so close, my hopes all depended on him.
"Let us bathe together," he suggested.
He led to the shower, not the tub. The valves groaned as they were wretched open. Gushes of water steadily fell from their spout. It poured from the ceiling onto the slanted stone floor.
Vishti told me water was precious on Arrakis. It lacked a natural surplus of it. The people despised the waste of it.
The Harkonnens were so rich that they could use it in disregard. A simple necessity such as water, a true luxury, they still wasted without care
As he did everything.
Feyd watched me linger on the edge. His eyes prickled my skin – a sensation I knew well. Still, I touched the stream of water. It was so warm. I melted into my desire to feel the coldness wash away.
My body stepped inside its full cascade, drenching the silk dress to my frame, savoring the soothing heat of water run down my flesh.
I sighed. The rivers ran through my hair down the knobby line of my spine.
Feyd remained dry. A haunted look overtook his face as he stared.
"Na-Baron?" I asked.
He shuttered a long blink. A memory lodged in his eyes. He tried to shake it free. He staggered back against the wall.
My brow fell. That was not right. I slowly approached him; fully aware I could be stuck like a pig for it.
His eyes were closed.
I should not be here. He would not want me here.
"Should I leave na-Baron?" I asked softly.
I wasn't even sure if my voice split through the sound of the shower.
"No," he said suddenly. He shook his head. The deep rasp to his tone returned. "No. Stay."
It was the exact moment I felt as a bug tricked into a burrowing spiders lair. Prey so close to its demise, its body felt the difference.
"The water is warm. You should feel it." I felt my mouth say the words. It was so weird. It sounded forced but not flat. "It's heavenly." I tried again without reason.
Feyd found strength to open his eyes again.
I felt rather awkward for being so pleasant toward him. My arms wrapped around my waist in a self-hug to hide behind.
"You like heat?" He asked.
Feyd shucked his pants from his body. Next came his outer armored shirt. Again, sounds clattered to the floor that neither of us acknowledged.
He had few qualms removing his clothes. There was no shred of shame at the naked form he inhabited being shown or seen. Not that there should be. He was as fit as a person could be. Every piece of him was toned for its deadly purpose. Every muscle stretched and thickened for its use. His prowess the true boast of himself.
I once heard someone say he was the greatest swordsman that lived. I did not doubt its truth.
His bare steps slapped against the wet stone until his body met mine in the water.
"Yes, na-Baron. Doesn't everyone?" His dark eyes turned downward at me. My body tensed. "It reminds me of happier times."
"Arrakis is the planet for heat. You shall do well here." He tilted his head back. Water split across his empty head as it dribbled down to his chest.
"Thank you, na-Baron," I murmured gently.
He appraised me with just his eyes. "You're welcome, my lady."
I'd never heard him say a sincere word like that.
It stunned me speechless.
To my surprise, Feyd did not attempt to fuck me as he did every other time he visited. We washed in the shower and then wrapped ourselves in fluffy long towels. Few words were exchanged.
Light now poured in through the windows. The room ignited with the intensity of the sun. Every color was saturated.
Feyd adjusted the controls on the wall. It darkened the glass until only a faint glow laid on the other side.
"The slaves should do that," he said, like to remind himself.
I pulled a billowy sleep dress from the wardrobe and tossed it over my head. My hair laid flat against my back, dampening the fibers as I dried the last drops from my legs.
The body oils Vishti brought were dug from their place in the bathing room.
The dropper released clear oil along my leg. The strength of the perfume lessened as I rubbed the moisture into my flesh.
Feyd's silence in the corner was largely ignored as he watched. I couldn't find my strength to acknowledge the predatory gaze that watched my actions like an observation needed for my destruction.
I awkwardly climbed into the large bed without a word being spoken between us.
It was the first night we laid in a bed, silent and still. My eyes stared out in the complete black of the night - or day, on Arrakis- paralyzed with mounting confusion.
Breath slowed. My pace matched it.
Feyd went still and his breathing deep. I thought he'd gone to sleep.
I laid there in the dark for so long. I waited. For what, I don't know. Something. Perhaps he'd try to push inside me as I slept. I'd be powerless to stop him, not that the idea would cross my mind to resist him either, but I refused to surrender to sleep. I had to bear witness to whatever he gained in this night. What he tried in the empty darkness when he believed me unconscious.
The bed groaned suddenly. Feyd moved. His arms looped around my body. I was pulled. Pulled into his embrace, against his chest, with his head rested against the top of mine.
The warmth of his body toyed with me stronger than my will. A comfort battled out my numbness.
I fell asleep wrapped in his arms.