XIII: Monsters

Feyd moved behind me as we lay on the bed. One of my legs was looped back over him as his hips pushed into me. A slow, painfully slow, slide of his cock through my swollen slit.

The scene of our bodies connecting was on full display: the shiny glisten that coated his shaft and dripped down to his balls, the engorgement still with his cock at my very limits, the motion as it rocked me in time.

His fingers massaged my wet pussy. A glorious sensation trembled my legs with his fingers dancing quickly across the raw end of my nerves. My mouth parted in a shrill cry.

A hand held the back of my neck. It held me in place as he pushed into me. Each thrust vibrating up my bones from the power at the base of his body into mine. Our bodies moved in sync to motions that filled us with unrelenting pleasure.

We were one. Just for that moment, maybe longer still, but we joined.

There was no urgency. The night passed without our concern as we fucked. It was like the whole world could wait on the other side of those doors because we wanted to savor every last drop of pleasure there was to be had. With no frantic friction or rubbing or pace. He took his time to hold me. Our lips lingered together for ages. The taste of his tongue was as delectable as the wine it tasted like.

He was not spent yet. I felt very little leaking from my pussy. It was wet, dripping, but not in the way that he liked to leave me.

"Would you like…" My hands trailed down his chest.

The shiny wet erection throbbed. It was a piece of his body that my hands seldom touched. Outside of his trousers, I'd rubbed, but the true flesh of it had not been beneath my grasp. He preferred inside of me. Not outside.

But he'd been catching his breath when my fingers grasped the shaft of his cock. The veins were very defined through his pale silken flesh. Our combined juices slipped between my fingers as I stroked the cock with my hand.

Feyd's breath changed suddenly. It caught. His hand latched onto my forearm to stop my pumping.

"If you do that again, I will cum."

The wicked delights we indulged only filled me with devious delight to make him ejaculate with my touch. He, a toy in my palm, as I often was in his. For once, a piece of power I wanted as mine.

My fingers moved to stroke with him with just their slight touch. "Isn't that what you want to do, na-Baron? Cum."

Feyd released a groan bottled deep from the back of his throat. The hold tightened on my arm.

"My cum is meant to fill you."

"It has," I whispered. "I am full of you, na-Baron. There is not another who would breathe in my direction lest they wanted to smell your cum mixed with mine."

Feyd's jaw nearly unhinged as he groaned within my touch. The cock below my hand straightened, throbbing harder. Our juices were far from dry atop him. Still, the oh so smooth skin of his cock was delightful. It was nothing as I imagined a monster's to be.

He finally overpowered me. My hand was tore from reach. My body, too, tossed to the mattress.

"Then I'll make room for more." His hot breath touched at the center of my thighs. He tossed my knees over his shoulders then, a tongue pierced through my pussy to the waters within. He slurped on our desires. The folds were licked clean. Their skin bitten with hunger before he delved farther inside.

As if he hadn't enough fill, his fingers violently rubbed my clit whilst his tongue was inside me. My back yearned to arch but he had me pinned to the bed.

Pleasure changed. It built harder and faster. It's release so much better.

The fear of Feyd being taken away filled my head with a strange discomfort that I did not want to feel again.

I'd thought he would finally meet his end, and it scared me.

That night, I held onto him with unrelenting fingers. They dug into his sides as I curled against his large chest. My nails latched me in place as claws to his person, not to be stolen away in the night without me.

He was kind enough to not confront the change. His arms simply held me tighter still and breathed in the same breath I exhaled.

My mind took pity on my struggle and released me to its sweet dreams. The weight of the day's happenings lifted free. Thoughts of violent death were no more. Replaced were the images of Feyd's bloody body slain upon a crimson floor. Instead, gentle soft breezes blew my hair in all directions. There was fruit with the touch of salt upon my tongue. A sea of deep blue surrounded me in every direction with only a hint of green grass atop a small island. Pale blue sky was spotted with fluffy white clouds for an unending length. A blanket laid across the ground as I reclined, slurping juices from a piece of fruit, with sweet sugar nectar running down my arm.

Feyd leaned forward. His body just alongside mine, reclined farther back. His mouth licked the length of my arm clean of the sticky juice. His dark teeth, lighter now, showed to me in a way that ruptured my heart.

I jolted awake in bed at the sound of heavy boots in the room. I gasped aloud.

Feyd, too, awoke suddenly. His arm yanked the sheets up to cover our naked bodies.

"What!" He commanded.

The men were too frightened to enter the bedroom. They lingered in the sitting room foyer of the na-Baron's chambers as if they remembered some ounce of decorum.

"An attack. It's happened again."

I gripped the sheet tight to my chest as Feyd rose from the bed.

They rallied together an attack plan. They meant to depart soon. Fast.

Feyd quickly went to his wardrobe with all his gear. The men filed out of the rooms. Their loud marching echoed down the castle corridor.

Off to fight in a battle in the desert amongst the Fremen and the sandworms.

Now that I cared for his survival, it felt like two foes that were insurmountable. What seemed more unlikely was that Feyd would leave the chance for the battle to be won by any other. He had to be there to finish it, if it was to be finished.

I tied the sheet around my chest as I emerged from his bed. He watched me approach as he fitted the last additions to his suit.

"I would take you with me," he said before I could speak, "but you take too long to ready."

"Fine. I shall wear this."

"I would have to slaughter my own men before I got to my battlefield." He looked down at me with a subtle flicker of joy in his eyes. "I'll send breakfast for you. Don't get into trouble while I am gone. Do not leave the castle."

"Yes, na-Baron."

"Say it. Say it back to me, Mintha."

"I won't leave the castle," I repeated, becoming irritated by the repetitions.

My hearing was fine.

"Swear to me you won't."

Did my accent suddenly become too difficult to understand? "I swear I won't leave the castle."

"Good girl," he said. "Now give me a kiss."

I remained in place. A single finger holding his body at a distance from mine. "You swear to me that you won't die then. You won't die and you'll come back."

"Really?" He smirked.

I gulped, hard. "Yes."

"I swear to always come back for you. Is that better, my lady?"

"Thank you," I said gently, hearing now how hysterical I must have sounded. Ridiculous and desperate.

He leaned forward and kissed me. I let my own anxiety push back into that kiss.

Don't die, you monster.

Feyd marched out of the chambers with a coy smile of his face, like he'd already won what he needed to.

I curled back into the bed – seeing as it was early – and drifted back to sleep. My body was angry the next time I awoke. It ached with hunger and thirst. The tips of my breasts ached. Muscles of my thighs burned. They inflamed as I stood to walk.

Damn him and his many positions.

I stepped into the bathing room for a hot bath. It would relieve my aching. My body steeped in the warmth until it was cool. I disliked the reality of leaving the water, but I did so with the knowledge that food had to be somewhere for me to eat.

I overate the night before, yes, but I starved now too. My stomach gargled with need.

All my favorite fruits and breads were on the table when I emerged from Feyd's bedroom. Astride the personal dining table were trays of whole and sliced fruit. A selection of fresh breads with herbed butter. I spied some mushed bean paste that was pretty tasty. Of course, it was not breakfast without a tea kettle.

I decided to use my time in the castle to benefit myself. There were so many limitations with the na-Baron gone. I knew that the castle was my limit, but there were people inside the castle that would not be met kindly without him. An image of his beastly brother popped into mind.

He might kill me just for revenge over his wounded pride.

No, I was stuck to the confines of the few places where few allowed to gather. Or rather, where the Harkonnen's would be.

I used to take refuge in my loneliness with the staff of the Baron's castle, back on the dark sun planet. They had a main hub in the kitchen with the washrooms nearby. Every servant went through that place as they worked their day.

Seeing as the castle was of Harkonnen design, it was no trouble to locate the main kitchens. Instead of all the staff being pale and bald, there was a healthy mix of hired locals and those brought to Arrakis.

There was a normal comradery amongst them all. I noticed no awkward resentments as they worked. Lucky for me, it was all spoken in the common tongue so I could understand it.

The kitchen was two stories tall with large windows. They were not shaded, so even through the night, the intensity of the day was felt throughout the room.

Herbs and flowers hung in bunches all along the walls. There were some kept fresh behind pressurized glass within built in sections of the walls. Burlap sacks of spice were on the floor. They were stamped with big black letters. The bright blue griffin marked it as property of the Baron's household.

Many people were there. The staff gathered where they were protected from the wrath of the nobles. I looked on as they spoke of their own gossip.

Aishti noticed me first. "My lady!" She waved excitedly.

The commotion of the kitchens stopped. Many eyes stared, widened.

Aishti did not show her fear when she approached me. "Your blessing. It was so wonderful. It went well, yes? Na-Baron liked."

"It was all thanks to you," I said.

My eyes drifted to the many looking at us now.

"Ignore them," Aishti said. She grabbed my shoulder and pulled me deeper into the rooms. "Is strange, yes? You are Lady and here, where they do not go."

"I did not mean to disturb."

"No, no. You are welcome."

She lowered the woven basket of sheets down to the floor. A table full of needles, thread, ribbons, blades, large panels of fabric, glass jars, and bundles of fragrant dried flowers were shoved aside to make a space for me to sit without their work in my way. I meant to beg her not to make a big deal, but it was too late.

I was a primary focus.

Motion slowly came to the room. Work still had to be done. There were nobles who could not be kept waiting.

I did not blame them. None were people I would be thrilled to have to serve.

The large storerooms had doors wide open. I noticed many encased hanging carcasses of animals from off-planet. There were shelves to the ceiling full of food of every preparation. An entire pod of reserves to feed the gluttons of this castle.

I looked around me. The thin bodies that could use more sustenance than the basic diet they consumed. Consumed at a high price, as Nabil told me.

Here I was, a complicit party in the starvation of people who I admired more than the ones I was with.

Aishti pulled the sheets from her laundered basket. She folded the corners together then again. "You look well, my lady. Carthag has been good."

"I suppose it has."

To one of us, at least.

Carthag appeared to be a disease to the rest of the people there.

"Na-Baron is gone?"

"Yes. He flew out this morning." I looked around at the people I believed listening, though they pretended not to. "He'll be back later. I thought, well…I used to come to the kitchen when I lived back where the na-Baron comes from. My friends were cooks there. They used to let me help them, so I had something to do."

"You are so kind, my lady."

That was not my intent. I did not say it for that.

"I wasn't a lady then," I explained. "I was nothing, but a prisoner of war then. Just someone who wasn't supposed to be worth something."

"Everyone's worth something, my lady. We are all needed."

Said a woman who worked in a castle of monsters. Did she not realize how easy it would be to have her life stolen? No remorse, no purpose, nothing. Did she see how little it would matter if she died?

I opened my mouth to say so, when her eyes glanced over her shoulder. An excited smile split her face. Her mouth erupted in a chuckle.

"There he is!" She cooed. The freshly cleaned sheets were tossed back into the basket without care. Her arms opened.

A small body ran inside the embrace. Big brown eyes emerged through the brown fabric of her robes. They were wide and curious as they looked at me.

The light of Aishti's face renewed. She curled against the child at her chest, smiling against his head.

Her son pointed a finger at me.

Aishti laughed. "That is Lady Mintha, my son. She is here for a visit. isn't that sweet?" Her voice was a calming lullaby. the way it moved through the air with such visible love. I envied her capacity to feel such a depth. "My lady, this is my Musa. He came to me two years ago."

He lifted his head. A very curious observation as he looked at me, no show of what way he leaned.

"Say hello." Aishti hummed.

Musa waved his hand. It was short and chubby - and it pulled at my heart to see it.

I smiled. "Hello, Musa."

He had his mother's curly hair. It was intense black, the deepest shade, with thick curls at its ends. A pair of thick dark eyebrows highlighted the motions of his forehead as he thought.

There was a fullness in his cheeks. Chubby, still, and baby-like.

Many motions washed through me, in ways I did not like, but did not know how to stifle.

I shifted in my seat, contemplating how to leave without being awkward, when Aishti placed the boy in my lap. "He should not be here. But he does not like to be left behind."

"Oh." I sputtered as I adjusted his weight in my lap.

Musa did not leave my lap. His eyes did stare at me. We both seemed unsure of each other.

Of course, what could I expect, a baby to bridge the gap?

"He's a sweet boy." Aishti forgot the work as she stared at him. Her eyes glazed at the sight of her child. "I never thought I'd have him."

Motherhood was an aspect I did not consider. The idea was too weird. It was a thing you gave life to, but then had to care for as it learned to be alive.

I disliked the severity of the risk of having children. One little mistake could ruin their little lives. That is a possibility I could not tolerate. Everything had the potential to be a mistake. Accidents happened, too.

Let alone, in this castle with these overlords?

Still, I was unconvinced she referred to the Harkonnen's. They were a nasty sort, but I knew there were not laws about having children. There were many out in the city.

"Because you could not conceive?" I ventured to guess.

"Because my husband died."

I blinked.

For all my ignorance of the world, there were things I did understand. A man, and his ejaculate, were needed to make a child come into being. There were other complicated factors - of course - but a man was the basis of it.

My face tilted. "I don't understand. Surely, you had to conceive him when your husband was living."

Aishti shrugged. "His father is not my husband."

"Oh."

My confusion remained etched in my face.

She again shrugged with a low tone to her voice. "There are some men here who are best to not resist."

My stomach twisted tight. Sweat touched at my forehead, armpits, back.

"Oh," was all I could say.

Why did my throat tremble when I spoke?

Aishti forced a smile. "Is not all bad. I got my Musa."

The child in my lap was evidence of what happened to her. A face she looked at every day in reminder of being powerless.

I felt tense. He realized it. Musa became restless. He kept looking at me, like I would hurt him. Instantly, I felt guilty. My arms wrapped him in a hug.

Although I did not understand it, he mattered to Aishti.

I shook my head. "You are so strong, Aishti."

"He was my blessing, my lady. He was my good from the bad."

"But." I swallowed. "Doesn't he remind you?"

"No. I remember well enough on my own. He makes it easier to live. My gift."

Musa began to like me. He showed a toothy smile up at me, then never stopped. His hands touched at my face, my hair, my mouth.

Aishti used the distraction to get some of her work done. She was all over the room as she did her tasks. The stacks of her folded laundry were placed in a line of many baskets. They were all assigned a set number of linens, towels, wash cloths. Her fingers were practiced. They moved through the stack with precision, counting out a set amount.

Sitting was not exciting any more to a child. He started to run the length of the kitchens. His head narrowly missed the edge of the table. Under the legs of other servants who were accustomed to his ruckus. None of them batted an eye except when he turned his head upward to investigate what they were doing. They'd quietly shoo him to his own business again as they went about theirs.

His little legs skipped. A smile too sweet lit upon his face.

There were many sacks that he bumped into. One he reached inside of. He plucked a citrus fruit from the contents.

He handed it to me. The begging eyes of a little boy were a pressure too severe to withstand.

I peeled the rind from the meat of the fruit and handed it to his awaiting hand.

His eyes squinted to half-moons as he ate the slices.

On her way back to check on us, Aishti saw Musa with the fruit in his hand. She gasped. "Musa. No!"

He was confused. A frown tortured his entire face.

"These are not for you. They are for the na-Baron's guests."

Musa cried when she took the fruit from his hand. He reached his arms upward in want. Two palms grabbed at the air for them back.

It was an awful sound. I hated his sorrow. The image cut straight through me.

"Please, Aishti. I gave it to him. I want him to have it."

"Oh, no. My lady. Those are for you."

Musa's hand reached upward for another slice. Water rimmed inside his eyes.

I choked back the ache in my body. "I want him to have it. Please. It is mine to give."

Aishti was hesitant. Though one look at the little boy convinced her; she handed the fruit slice back. The boy shoved it inside his mouth before it could be taken again.

Her head bowed. "Thank you." She looked almost sorrowful. "He will never know the taste of them again. How blessed he is."

"What do you mean?"

"These are imported. Very expensive. I could never afford them."

I handed the other slices to her. "Here. Take these. No, I know. I want you to. Just take them."

Her bites differed from Musa's; she took slight nibbles.

The taste of luxury, she recognized its rarity. She nibbled so that it might last.

But things never did.

Good things left so fast. Happiness was fleeting, bleeding. It could be spent.

My face watched with the weight of more emotions at the brink of bursting through. Feyd's favor, like most, would be spent. One day I would be a waste of his space. I would matter no longer, no care to the time lost in adoration of him. He would end me just as he began me. Back to nothing, I would remain.

Possibly worse for wear, seeing as I knew its taste.

Like Aishti, I would nibble slow to savor its taste before it fled my grasp.

Musa interrupted the revere to ask for his mother's piece. She did not hesitate to hand it, despite being just as neglected to its luxury.

A mother's love.

Aishti was all that should be a mother: forgiving, unending love, risen above the depths she had been forced to endure. I observed the way she smiled at her son's joy. How could she not think of the monster who made that boy? How could she love without hate toward the reminder of her worst moments?

I wished to understand more than just with my own mind. I wished to feel the depths it must take to bear a soul so close to the surface, unafraid of having it all stolen.

Musa then turned his smile to me. His fear of me had vanished with a small treat.

It was a crime to not return a smile to that cuteness.

Aishti hugged her son closely. "You are a gift, Musa. You lift our spirits. We needed that."

We settled in as more steaming linens were plucked from the sun to be folded. Aishti spoke on about her son and her life, how she kept him hidden in the kitchen because he did not like staying with the neighbors during the day. Her arms worked tirelessly as she folded mounds and mounds of laundry that was ready for her.

Musa fell asleep in my lap. I eventually noticed when it had been a while since he moved. I panicked and thought he died.

Aishti laughed. The sound kept low. "He's only sleeping, my lady. Put his head down and shhht. He asleep."

I was rocking him in my arms when Vishti stepped into the kitchen. Their hands went in the air. "Wallah! Aishti. The baby is in the arms of the lady and you let her."

Aishti only shrugged. "Musa likes her."

"What if na-Baron was to see?"

"He is gone, she said," Aishti replied.

"Do his knives not seem sharp to you?"

They murmured back and forth. Vishti, irritated at the lack of boundary, and Aishti casual with it.

I, almost forgotten. Musa and I were in our calm bubble, rocking back and forth. My eyes observed the commotion of the castle's command center: the one that was actually important. It was the lifeblood of this place. Necessity in every action there was. From the food, preparation, mending and laundering, cleaning, all was important in the daily life of those under Harkonnen protection.

Without those tending our needs, the castle would stall. As would spice.

Vishti convinced Aishti to take the child from my arms. They put a hand on the top of my back and led me away. They said it was not the place for a lady.

"But I am not a real lady."

"Na-Baron's honor is real," they countered. "He will cut down for his lady."

"Don't be ridiculous. It's only when someone threatens my safety. He doesn't care what I do."

"If you say that true, you are more foolish than I thought." When I said nothing, they shook their head. "He will return soon. You must be ready."

"Ready?" I grimaced. "Ready for what?"

Vishti did not answer. They just brought me back to my own chambers. Wardrobe selections were made for me. It was a linen dress that fitted to my every curve. It hugged like a skin.

The beads were pulled from my hair. They were collected in a jar and placed away inside the wardrobe drawer along with the beads from my blessing dance. I was starting to have a full collection of them.

"What did na-Baron say I needed to prepare for?" I asked, again.

"Nothing."

"Then why are you making me so pretty?"

It was true. They brushed my hair, powdered my body, added perfume oil, brushed tinted salve against my lips. I was eased into a dress that was far more regal than casual. It was cherry red with a low slit through my breasts almost down to my navel. It was taut against my body with a split straight to my center.

Vishti offered a long dangling necklace of gold. I declined.

"I have to wear this at all times," I explained. My fingers clutched Feyd's ring strung my neck.

Their brow fell. "But why? You said na-Baron wanted it back."

"He needs me to keep it safe. I have to wear it."

"I'll put in trunk, yes? It will never be seen."

I shook my head. "It's best if I never take it off. Maybe we can find a necklace that compliments this one so I can wear both."

"Compliment? Is a ring, my lady. It belong on the finger."

"I'm not putting it on my finger."

I would keep Feyd's ring safe. He asked me to, and I intended to fulfill that request. However, there was an implied connection with rings. Harkonnen's used them as a signal of family, of bond. Children and parents. Lovers, intended to become family.

We were not that.

Vishti draped a chain that dipped lower on my chest.

They twisted my hair atop my head. Bits of my scalp were scraped like hell as pieces were pinned into place.

A pair of long drop earrings dangled from my lobes. They held shiny red gemstones.

All was perfect except one element. It lacked the harsh brutality that Harkonnen's embraced. I was gorgeous and warm – too warm for the cold monsters.

"Let me see the makeup again," I said.

Vishti stopped. "Huh?"

"Makeup. The lip stuff."

I picked out the color and rushed back to the mirror. Smooth black color coated my lips from the end of a tube. It overtook the slight red swell from the salve. Instead, I was embraced into the dramatic depth of the lipstick.

Perfect.

It was not bubbly and beautiful as most would consider it.

I was fatal and deadly and devastating, all wrapped into one.

Vishti frowned. "Oh, Lady."

"Na-Baron will like it, Vishti. Do not worry."

The staff of Feyd's came to my chamber doors. The knock echoed throughout the rooms. Vishti whispered that I was ready, and they entered the space with the invitation.

"Na-baron is en route," his main servant said. "Please, Lady Witch. Follow me."

I was uncertain what I was walking in to. Feyd seemed more than adamant that there was trouble to be found in his absence – but where, and how did I hunt it down? – so I worried that I was being tempted to trouble rather than handled in his instruction.

The servant showed me into the Great Hall. I did not think there was another party to attend so soon, but it was shown to me empty. All that stood out was a table in the center of the room adorned with gorgeous fixtures. Candelabras of brass flickered warm light atop the table. It battled out the overwhelming darkness of the room.

The blood from the night before was absent. Already cleaned and shined, as though nothing had happened.

Reminders of that night flashed in my mind as I stood in the very spot that the prisoner had first launched himself at Feyd. The anger, the hunger. Death's oversight was a kindness to me.

The sting that I was not so lost to monsters that I'd forgotten my humanity was a surprise. My emotion toward Feyd was up for debate - whether it was good or bad. I lingered on the edge.

Either way, I wanted to embrace it. For a while. Savor its taste like Aishti did with the citrus.

The servant showed a chair – one of two – from the table. It was pulled out as an offering to me.

I took it.

They filled my wine and water glass. "More, my lady?"

"No." I had to keep my wits about me. Feyd was not present. This strange gathering in the Great Hall had me confused. "When is the na-Baron supposed to return?"

"Minutes, my lady."

"You'll tell him where I am, won't you?"

"Of course." They presented a tray of small appetizers. Each varied. There were many delicacies from which to choose. "Enjoy, Lady Witch."

I was left alone, in the faded darkness of the Hall. His echoes ceased at the shutting of the doors.

The long table was entirely too large for the two chairs sat across from one another at the middle. There were ornate figurines – bronzed – with floral bouquets spread across the tabletop. The flickering from the candelabras casted shadows against the walls. They moved against the large tapestries hung on display. The haunted silhouette of flowers in vases. Figurines with their arrows punctured in their little chests.

My hand reached for the water. Anything to grow the rising tide of fear through me now.

It mocked my attachment. These decorations were the makings of my demise.

Before Arrakis, I controlled every aspect of my body like it was a shell in which I operated as precisely as a Mentat. Now, I was filled with fear and anxiety and thrill and hope.

HOPE.

Worst of all.

I felt its warm betrayal all in my head. Even now as I waited Feyd's return it was like I was waiting for a beloved to come back in ravishing hunger for my presence. I felt those stringy little thoughts of excitement at his coming. It was all over me.

My body refused to succumb to the numbness. It revolted my control.

The strongest, tiniest piece of me fought against all the pathetic pieces of me that yearned to know how it felt, let it wash against me, the adoration of another.

Feyd was not a person in which to entrust hope.

The only hope there was laid at the end of his blade.

He was monster. He was killer.

He was not mine.