Once the news had gotten round that all the parents had given permission from them to go camping. Now came the task of deciding where, exactly, the gang were going to go. They congregated at Erin's after school the next day on Monday. But not before they had another incident at school. Throughout the day, Michelle had relentlessly harked on about the campsite in Ballycastle. Clare was waiting for Erin and James to speak up. But Erin appeared to be pre-occupied with something else. James knew that anything he said would be easily shut down. Orla appeared impassive to what Michelle was saying. The wee lesbian began to feel herself having palpitations the more she heard Michelle rattle on about the supposed things that went on at the promiscuous campsite. Finally, she couldn't take anymore. In the middle of the hall whilst having lunch. Clare launched herself out of her chair.
"For the love of sweet Jesus, Michelle! I do NOT want to hear about some girl bouncing up and down some lad's bar while I'm trying to FECKING EAT!" She screamed at the top of her lungs.
Clare had screamed so loud; the entire hall turned and stared at her. Yet, doing so, Clare had achieved what she wanted. Michelle stopped talking, Erin snapped back to reality, James looked around awkwardly, feeling the eyes of the entire hall on them. Orla had instinctively crawled up into a ball and covered her ears. Clare shook with embarrassment once she realized they were being watched. She slowly shrivelled back down into her chair. Her embarrassment didn't stop there; Now back at Erin's house. Upon returning back from Strabane, Orla made sure Marco heard the news.
"Oh, Jesus Christ!" Marco shook with laughter.
"It's not funny, Marco!" Clare whined. "It was well embarrassing, so it was."
"Christ. You are such a craic killer, Clare!" Michelle groaned.
"I am NOT a craic killer, Michelle! I just don't fancy going to a camp site of debauchery where people are likely to be cavorting with every other person at every turn!"
"Ach, balls! What does debaucheny and cansorting mean?" Michelle asked Erin.
"Cavorting is just another word for touching each other up, Michelle. And Debauchery is another word for sin." Erin corrected her.
"For fuck's sake. I told you two English ball bags to stop teaching her more fancy words from that fucked up language of yers?!" Michelle snapped at James and Marco. The two lads stood bewildered.
"Yeah, well, despite that little incident…. We're gonna have to change tact and go somewhere else now!" Erin snapped.
"Why?" Michelle asked.
"Because we have to face a little fact, Michelle. If our mammies get wind of us going to a place like that, they'll never trust us again. It's a miracle they said Yes to this!" Erin snapped.
"Alright, fine! But where the fuck are we gonna go for this camping trip?" Michelle snapped back.
James pulled out a map of camping sites around Northern Ireland's coast, they spread it over Erin's bed. "I suppose what we really need to do is to just list the things we wanna do on this trip and make our choice from that." He said to the group.
"Somewhere near a popular attraction?" Erin spoke up.
"I suppose seeing some wildlife, or an historical site would be good craic?" Clare suggested.
"We're not over fucking 60, Clare. Somewhere that's got a good night life. That's what we need." Michelle suggested.
"We'd also need to be near a decent water supply. And near some place where we can stock up the essentials; fruit pastilles, taytos, dip dabs, that sort of thing." Orla spoke up.
"We're gonna need a wee bit more sustenance than that, Orla!" Erin snapped. Orla frowned.
"Maybe you should have mentioned WHAM bars." Marco said, making Orla smile.
"Don't encourage her, Marco." Erin pleaded.
"Oh, come on! I'm only joking." He said, gently nudging her arm. "Mars Bars are more filling." He sniggered.
James picked up the map and pinned it on Erin's wall. "Come on! There must be somewhere. So where do we stand? A camping spot with a popular attraction nearby, close enough to see wildlife, but also within a good distance of night life, and not miles away from a Mars Bar." James confirmed.
"Which is gonna be difficult considering we're all still legally under age." Clare brought up.
"Do ye have to be over 18 to eat a Mars Bar?" Orla asked.
"Shut up, Orla!" Erin snapped.
"Plus, it never stopped us before, did it, George Best?" Michelle jested at Clare.
"Oi! Any room for one more?" Laurie suddenly popped her head round Erin's door. The gang greeted her jubilantly.
"Oh, hiya babes." Clare smiled, relaxing once Laurie gave her a quick peck.
"Hiya all, what's the craic, super sub?" Laurie asked James, looking up at the pinned-up map.
"Just trying to sort where we're gonna go on this camping trip." James said.
"Somewhere we can see some wildlife…. Take in the sights….. Get pished…. Close to supplies…. and have a good craic all at once." Orla recapped, using her lollipop to point at each girl's suggestion. Laurie pondered the information, she then turned to look at the map.
"Ach, it's easy, that is." Laurie then said.
"Where?" Erin asked.
"How about near Giants Causeway?" Laurie answered. "There's plenty of camp sites and there's a few sound offies around there that'll serve anyone." Laurie suggested.
"Wicked! Wicked!" Michelle shot. Everyone stared at her, confused.
"Jungle is massive?" Marco smiled, Michelle then laughed, happily high fiving him.
"Aye, that sounds dead on!" Erin said.
"Right, but which campsite?" James queried, turning back towards the map.
"How about that one, James?" Orla pointed at a spot with her lollipop.
"Carrick Dhu Holiday park?"
"Aye! Look, it's near Portrush, so we can go to Barry's Amusement Park!" Orla beamed with excitement.
"That's a good point, I can finally go on that roller coaster you've told me so much about." Marco laughed. Orla beamed at him.
"Aye, it is cracker, so it is!" Erin nudged him.
"Aye, Dunluce Castle and Giant's Causeway's only up the road." Clare pointed out.
"Alright! Sounds like we're sorted." James nodded. It appeared that the choice was made. Unnoticed, the girls shot looks at each other.
"Quick question though. If we're all gonna be going, how exactly are we gonna get there…. James?" Michelle suddenly snapped angirly.
"I'm sorry?" James stood confused.
"Ye fecking dose! How are we supposed to get all seven of us there in just one car?" Michelle threw back.
"…..Aye, do ye not remember me saying my car was out of action, for Christ's sake, James. Keep up!" Laurie chimed.
"Um, I'm not sure I…." James began.
"Also, James! You've not thought about the amount of gear we're gonna need to take, have ye now?! What with the tents and backpacks, not to mention the extra crap Orla's most likely bring gonna along. No doubt the Bow and Arrow will be making the trip!" Clare stressed.
"Well…." James stalled.
"Aye, ye really haven't thought this through, have ye James?" Orla shook her head.
"What is going on?" Erin whispered to Marco. Who was watching the girls quizzically.
"And another thing, Dickweed. If we chose to go by train, we're still gonna have to walk to the campsite with all the gear. You English never learn, do ye? Ye like being all regimental and all that shite, but ye haven't even thought things through properly. Ye massive ballbag!" Michelle scowled. The girls, except Erin all scowled at James. While Erin stared in bewilderment.
"AND YE ALWAYS LEAVE THE TOILET SEAT UP JAMES! IT DOES MY HEAD IN!" Orla suddenly shouted at James.
James finally caved in and exploded.
"ALRIGHT! I HAVEN'T THOUGHT IT ALL THROUGH! OK? ARE YOU HAPPY?!... I DON'T EXACTLY SEE ANY OF YOU THROWING ANY IDEAS IN!... MAYBE INSTEAD OF JUMPING DOWN MY FUCKING THROAT, YOU CAN SORT IT OUT BETWEEN THE FIVE OF YOU! ….. COS I BLOODY WELL GIVE UP…." James threw his hands up to match his tantrum. Everyone stared at him in silence.
"OK. I think that's our cue, James. Don't you think? Come on, let's go take Coco Pops for a walk." Marco calmly stood up and motioned James towards the bedroom door. The wee English fella stumbled over his words as he tried to protest the girls' verbally jumping on him as Marco patted him on the back and lead him out the bedroom.
"Orla, check they've gone." Michelle ordered, Orla jumped up and peeked around the door to check that the coast was clear. She looked back and gave a thumbs up.
"Ye don't think we overdid it, do ye?" Clare asked.
"Ach, it's only James, he'll live." Michelle shrugged.
"OK. Can I just ask…. WHAT THE ACTUAL FECK WAS THAT ALL ABOUT?" Erin cried.
"Don't shite the tights, Erin. There is a point to this." Clare said calmly.
"Well, do ye mind filling me in after ye all just chewed my boyfriend's head off?!" Erin argued.
"Calm down, Erin. We're not really raging at James." Laurie laughed.
"Are we not? Ach, good." Orla was relieved.
"Just sit yourself down." Michelle ordered. Erin was slightly taken aback but did as she was told. As she sat on her bed, Orla bumped her and sat next to her. Michelle stood over them. Her gaze was fixed on Erin.
"OK. You need help! I saw the state of ye today in school." Michelle said.
"What state?" Erin chuckled nervously.
"Uhh, the way ye were eye riding James all day?"" Michelle pointed out. Erin's expression turned from a smirk to an awkward frown.
"Ach, is that why ye were making those weird faces today, was it, Erin?" Orla asked.
"Catch yourself on, Michelle! I wasn't eye riding James!" Erin protested.
"Erin, in all honesty, even Stevie Wonder could see it!" Clare shot.
"Wow! That's impressive!" Orla acknowledged.
"It wasn't as bad as she's making it, Orla." Erin said. "…. Was it?" She then asked.
"Aye, it was. Fucking embarrassing at times, so it was. Laurie, you take over!" Michelle ordered.
"Well, how about we talk to Erin, you take Orla. Aye?" Laurie suggested.
"Aye, good idea. Come on, Orla, let's go to yer room." Michelle held out her hand.
"Ach, cracker. I can show ye my new crossbow!" Orla jumped up and took Michelle's hand.
While the girls split into their pairs. The boys made their way towards Dennis' wee shop with Coco Pops in tow.
"OK. What the actual cock was all that about back there?!" James finally asked.
"Oh, come on James! It's obvious innit? The girls just wanted to be alone. They're talking about something they don't want us to hear." Marco said.
"You reckon?" James asked.
"Definitely. We might be Derry Girls now, Jay, but we're not GIRLS! Remember?" Marco said. The hint finally got through to the wee English fella. He frowned with embarrassment.
"Well, if they wanted us to go, why didn't they just say so? Usually, Michelle just tells me to fuck off and that's all the hint I need." James said.
"Cos they know how to wind you up, and they know you take the bait EVERY time!" Marco sniggered at the bemused look that was cast across James' face as they walked up to Dennis' wee shop.
Dennis was busy stacking the shelves behind the till while stopping to serve customers, disgruntled as always. The boys walked in and stopped to browse at the magazines. Dennis peered down the aisle, keeping an eye on them.
"Well…. What do you reckon talking about?" James went to ask, but an obvious glance from Marco answered that question. "Yeah, I thought so." James said.
"So? You reckon things might happen with you and Erin on this trip?" Marco asked.
"I don't know. It'll be a bit awkward with everyone else there." James said nervously.
"What are you talking about? You said ages ago you were up for it when Katya was offering it on a plate to you." Marco said.
"Yeah, well, I was lying, weren't I? If I'm honest I was cacking myself." James admitted.
"What you nervous about?" Marco asked.
Back in Erin's room, a similar conversation was taking place. The petite blonde was failing miserably to convince Laurie and Clare that she wasn't dreading anything, but they could see through her with the assorted facial expressions she was making.
"I wouldn't say I'm nervous. I'd be an absolute dose to say that I was nervous, I mean, me and James have done things…. I mean, we've done the odd thing."
"Have ye seen him naked yet?" Laurie asked abruptly. Erin pulled a different face. A very awkward one. Exposing her false confidence.
"Well, they have seen each other in their cacks, so to be fair….." Clare said. Laurie could see Erin's face blush.
"It's alrght, Erin. The first time is always awkward." Laurie said. "I mean, you've known each other for a while now, and it's gonna be awkward for ye to see each other in the nip for the first time. It's normal."
Erin rolled her eyes. "With all due respect to ye, Laurie. But I'm not sure if yer really the right person to give advice on this! I mean given that yer…. Well…." Erin paused.
"A lesbian?" Laurie finished.
"Well, Yes!" Erin shuffled awkwardly.
"Well, that's just a wee bit homophobic, isn't it, Erin!" Clare protested annoyingly.
"I'm sorry, I mean no offence."
"It's alright. This might surprise ye, Erin. But I actually had a relationship or two with a fella before I discovered I was gay. And I have done it with a fella as well." Laurie said.
"Have ye now?" Erin asked. Laurie nodded assurringly. "Oh, well. Carry on Laurie."
"Thanks. So, is there anything ye wanna ask?" Laurie quizzed.
"Ok. Well…." Erin began.
Michelle and Orla were now sitting in Orla's bedroom. Michelle sat in a chair opposite Orla who was sitting on the edge of her bed with her crossbow in hand.
"So, what's it like, Mchelle? Does it hurt?" Orla blurted out.
"Depends what ye aim it at!" Michelle joked.
"Michelle…." Orla groaned. Michelle had thought it would have been a delicate matter but was relieved how upfront Orla was.
"Well, yeah, first time, it can for some people." Michelle admitted.
"Did it hurt the first time ye did it?" Orla asked.
"Aye, a wee bit. But that wasn't the problem." Michelle shrugged.
"What was it?" Orla asked.
"The dose was so buzzing; it was over before it really got started." Michelle groaned.
"That doesn't sound too grand." Orla frowned.
"Aye, was a right let down. I fancied the hole off him, and he didn't even last a minute."
"Aye, that's desperate, Michelle. That is well below average." Orla said.
"What?!" Michelle asked, puzzled. "How do ye know what's below average?"
"Ach, I read it in one of my mammy's magazines. There was this thing in there about how long the average man lasts. And it says on average it should be like 7 to 12 minutes. I also read that it doesn't hurt for everyone." Orla answered. Michelle was gobsmacked.
"Orla…. Do you mean to say ye been reading up about sex all this time, and ye never said anything?!" Michelle asked, astounded.
"Aye. Well, I thought that given how much you and Erin buzzed over it so much, I had to find out about it. At first, I tried Erin's diary, but she just went on about romance and stuff, which is grand, but when I read that she'd never even kissed a boy, I gave up."
"And then?" Michelle pressed.
"And then she wrote about James, and I thought it'd be grand to meet a nice fella."
"Aye, and ye did, didn't ye?" Michelle smirked.
"Aye. I did so….. So, then I started thinking back to all those times ye talked about being with a fella, but I didn't really know what ye were talking about, but then I found my mammy's magazines…. And that's it." Orla admitted with a smile.
"Well, Fuck- a-doodle-do! Orla McCool, ye fucking little dark horse!" Michelle laughed. She then saw Orla frowning.
"What is it, Orla?" Michelle asked.
"It's just…. sometimes, when I'm with Marco, when he touches me, it's really nice. Really, really nice, as it goes. But other times, I start to feel something. And there's nothing in the magazines that talks about it." She admitted.
"What do ye mean, what do you feel?" Michelle asked.
"…. I feel like I'm really buzzing. But then things get…. Blurry. My head starts spinning, sometimes it hurts, Michelle. Ye know, like when I had that really bad headache?" Orla frowned.
"Jesus Christ! Do ye now? So, what does Marco say?" Michelle shot.
"Marco's been really class. He knows quite a few moves, ye know?" Orla then paused. "... I never knew ye could feel something like that….. just from a touch! And he says the same when I touch him." Orla giggled.
"Well, that sounds cracker! So, what's the problem?" Michelle asked.
"It's these head pains. It's happened a couple of times, and I get raging with myself when it happens, cos I wanna go on, but I'm ascared that this is gonna…. Get in the way." Orla said sadly.
"Oi, Oi, alright, don't shite the tights! We just need to think about this." Michelle said as she gently rubbed Orla's shoulders to calm her down. Michelle sat and thought about how she could help her friend. She then raised an eyebrow.
"Ye know what? This isn't really a big problem, ye know?" Michelle said.
"Is it not?" Orla asked, hopefully. Michelle smiled while shaking her head.
"It sounds to me like ye know what yer doing, Orla. But ye need to make sure yer in control of yourself with this thingamagig, hi?" Michelle asked, Orla nodded.
"Then that's what ye need to do. You just be the one in control, ye tell him when, ye tell him what, and ye tell him how. Ye understand?" Michelle explained, quicky flashing her eyebrows.
"Do ye really reckon that's all it is?" Orla asked. She rocked nervously back and forth.
"Aye, I'm positive." Michelle assured her. "Just take yer time. You'll be grand!" She smiled.
"Thanks, Michelle." Orla leant forward and hugged her.
"No problem." She answered. "So have yer still got that magazine?" Michelle asked.
"Aye, come with me. I'll show ye." Orla took Michelle by the hand and lead her downstairs to the living room. Next to the sofa was a small chest of drawers full to the brim. Orla pulled out the top drawer and pulled out the woman's magazine. Michelle grinned mischievously as she scanned the pages.
"Orla, has Marco seen this?" Michelle asked. Orla couldn't hide her smirk quick enough.
"Are you sure?" James asked.
"Yeah, that's what it said in that magazine, didn't you read it?" Marco replied.
"No, I missed that bit. I was too busy reading about… other things. 7 to 12 minutes? That doesn't sound like a long time. Does it?" James asked as they filled some bags with pick n mix for the girls.
"Yeah, I know. That sort of threw me off too." Marco agreed at first. "But do you remember that time when we were in the common room back at school, and that loud twat Mark Bloomfield from the Upper Sixth Form was there….. and he was going on and on about how he lost his virginity?"
James paused to think.
"Don't you remember? He said he went for hours and hours with this fit college girl that he said he pulled in a nightclub?" Marco asked.
"Oh my God. Yeah, I remember that. And all his mates started getting all excited and asked him what he did, and then I remember Natalie Cartwright shouting out 'What a load of Bollocks!' from the other end of the room." James laughed.
"Yeah. Do you know why she said that?" Marco asked.
"No, why?" James asked.
"Well, it turns out it was actually Natalie's older sister who he lost his virginity to." Marco revealed.
"No way!" James gawked. "Gemma?"
"I swear on my nanna's life…. Apparently, she said he barely lasted a minute." Marco laughed.
"Oh my God! I did not hear any of that! Oh, that is brutal!" The friends laughed together.
"What the fuck are ye two talking about?" Dennis asked.
"Uh…. Nothing, Dennis." James answered.
"So what bit was you reading about in that magazine?" Marco asked as they handed their stuff over to Dennis.
"Have ye two sly fuckers been reading the magazines again?!" Dennis snapped.
"No, Dennis. Swear to God we didn't." James insisted.
"If I catch ye reading them, I swear to God! I'll chop yer fucking thieving English hands off!" He growled at them with wild eyes. "That's £10 by the way." He then said. Coco Pops growled while Marco shushed him handed over the money.
"Had a bad day, Dennis?" James said.
"Who you supposed to be, the fucking Samaritans, ye wee limey prick?" Dennis stared coldly at him.
"…. No, we're just reaching out with the best of intentions, Dennis. No doubt your mum's done the same in the past." Marco said.
"What?" Dennis shot.
"Maybe too much for her own good but I'm sure she meant well." Marco said.
"Oh no." James moaned.
"GET OUUUUUUTTTTT!" Dennis screamed; Coco Pops barked hysterically as the boys ran out the shop.
"Mate, he's gonna kill you one day!" James stressed, but neither of them were able to stop laughing as they quickly marched away from the shop and back to Erin's house.
"So, what were you reading in that magazine?" Marco asked.
"Well, there was this one bit that said most women prefer foreplay as much as intercourse, apparently." James said. "It went on about the different parts of the body where you…." James then stopped.
"Oh, thaaaaat. Oh yeah, well…." Marco agreed. "Yeah, it's good, that is."
"…. Yeah, I know." James smirked.
"Ahhh, you been testing it out, have you?" Marco teased.
"Oh, and you haven't?" James shot back laughingly. Both chuckled at first, but they quickly became conscientious of what they were talking about. Neither said it, but they couldn't help but feel the unease between them.
"Are you feeling that?" James then asked.
"No, my hands are right here." Marco held his hands up.
"Oh, for fuck sake." James groaned, seeing Marco smirk. "You know what I mean." James said awkwardly.
"Yeah, it feels weird, doesn't it?" Marco agreed.
"It's like listening to what your sister gets up to." James stated.
"Yeah, let's not talk about it, it'll just make things really awkward." Marco agreed. He then glanced quickly at James and smirked mischievously "… I mean, we can if you want to?"
"NO!" James exclaimed.
"I'm only joking!" Marco chuckled. "Fucking hell, you are so easy to wind up!" He laughed.
"You are an absolute Twat 'ead!" James scoffed, smiling as he said it. The two friends weren't far away now as we walked along the amber lit street lights back to Erin's house. Ironically, James still felt the need to ask a question.
"I have got one question, Marc. How are you so calm about all this?" James asked. "I mean, you don't seem to be sweating anything. You are still… right?"
"Yes. I am. But to be honest, Jay. I'm cacking it too." Marco admitted.
"Why?... What do you mean?" James started.
"Well, a couple of times. Me and Orla have been…." He stopped. "There's been a few moments where she's been getting dizzy, and she said her head started to hurt while we were…." Marco stopped again.
"What, like the time she…. Oh God, was she ok?" James asked, concerned for Orla.
"Yeah…. But she was more annoyed with herself cos we had to stop." Marco said. "It's just like what you told me. You were right. It's like if things get too much for her…." Marco motioned around his head. His concerned look was all James needed.
"….. Bloody Hell." James groaned. "So, what are you gonna do?"
"Just be patient, like you said." Marco said.
James smiled. "Somehow, I sort of knew you would, Marco."
"Oh course I would. I love her." Marco said.
"Awwwww. You soppy aul dose!" James cooed.
"Shut uuuuuup." Marco said, James smiled at him as the two friends put an arm round each other. Marco again saw an opportunity. "So, how many have you tried?" He then asked.
"I said NO!" James shouted with amusement. Making Marco laugh out loudly. "Anyway, there's a bigger issue to deal with. Like how we're gonna get all of us and the gear to go on this camping trip."
"Well, there is one idea." Marco said.
"Yeah, what?" James asked.
"No way are you serious?" Erin's eyes grew wider and wider at Laurie's simple diagram of a male figure, highlighting areas of the body. Her eyes strained her eyes as she questioned Laurie.
"It's true." Laurie exclaimed.
"That's one?" Erin asked. "Really?" Pointing towards the sheet of paper.
"Aye, apparently"
"When am I ever gonna find myself around the back of James' knees?... Urgh, Christ. I think I'm gonna boke." She exclaimed. Looking further down the diagram. Just then, Michelle burst into the bedroom.
"Motherfuckers!"
"Jesus wept!" Erin groaned.
"What's the craic, Erin. Whatcha got there?" Orla asked.
"Nothing! What's that ye got there, Michelle?" Erin asked back, hiding the paper.
"Ach, just a magazine. Me and Orla have been doing a wee bit of reading." Michelle said. Orla nodded happily.
"A wee bit of reading? You?" Clare fell suspicious. Orla then yanked the paper away from Erin.
"Orla!" Erin shouted.
"Ach, look at this Michelle. It's the same as the magazine." Orla exclaimed, handing her the diagram. Michelle quickly compared the two.
"Aye, it is so. Fuck a doodle do. I didn't know that was one!" Michelle asked.
"There's no need to shite the tights, girls. Not everyone goes for the toes." Laurie assured her. "Although I can't speak for everyone here." She smirked at Clare.
"Laurie!" Clare shrieked, looking mortified. Erin gawked at Clare while Michelle threw her head back in hysterics.
Orla stared in amazement as Clare's face turned a crimson red. "That's a grand trick, so it is, Clare. How do ye turn yer face so red that quick?"
"Clare's got a foot fetish!" Michelle cried. Erin started to snigger as well.
"I do not! It's only cos it tickles, girls. That's all." Clare said desperately. Laurie strained to hold in her laughter.
"What?" Erin queried.
"First time I stroked her toes; she just about kicked me right off the bed." Laurie laughed. Erin and Michelle cackled loudly.
"Ye promised ye wouldn't say anything!" Clare sulked.
"Ach, I'm sorry babes." Laurie pouted at Clare.
"…. Don't do that, ye know I can't stay mad at ye forever." Clare said, accepting a peck on her forehead.
"Awwww. That's nice." Orla smiled.
"Anyway, one thing ye need to know, is most of it is touching, and stroking. Not just kissing. Ye just take the tips of yer fingers…. And ye tease yer wee English fellas into a frenzy." Laurie teased.
"Aye, I DO love my wee fingers." Orla exclaimed. The girls rolled their eyes while Laurie crooked a knowing eyebrow towards the cooky girl.
"That's all very well, Laurie. But if I'm honest, James seems to already know all this." Erin revealed.
"Ach, Fuck! Hold on!" Michelle groaned as she covered her ears. Orla looked oddly at her and then copied Michelle.
"Not you, Orla." Clare said. Reaching to lower Orla's hands.
"Aye. He does so. He seems to know what to do and how to do it!" Erin answered, ignoring the others.
"What, complaining are ye?" Laurie shirked.
"Well, I didn't exactly say that." Erin answered.
"Ach, I guess James wasn't lying when he said he was ready when he was with that Russian." Orla said.
"Shut up, Orla!" Erin glared at her. "But what puzzles me, is where did James learn all this?" Erin asked.
"That's a good question, Erin." Clare said. "Another Ex-girlfriend, maybe?" She suggested, she panicked as Erin shot her another psychotic look.
"Maybe James found this magazine and read about it." Orla suggested.
"Well, he never would have learnt it from a lad's magazine. I've seen tons of them. And it's all tits and arses hanging out." Laurie said.
"Aye, nothing informative in those things." Clare blushed.
"Ye sound like yer complaining now, Clare." Erin joked.
"Anyway, I've seen better." Laurie said, flashing her eyes at Clare, making her turn her frown upside down. Clare moved over and snuggled Laurie. They then heard a knock at the door.
"Is it safe to come in." James and Marco peeked their heads around the door. The girls quickly hid the magazine.
"Aye, it's fine. Come in." Erin smiled. The boys handed out the bags of pic n mix.
"Did ye not get me some?" Orla asked Marco.
"Of course I did. It's in my pocket." He said. Orla smiled and quickly rummaged into Marco's jean pockets. Marco couldn't help but smirk at Orla's frowning expression.
"But there's nothing in them." Orla moaned.
"Yeah, I know. It's my coat pocket." He winked.
"Cheeky fecker!" Laurie laughed as Orla blushed, burying her head into Marco's neck.
"What's she doing?" Marco asked. Pointing towards Michelle. The girls looked and saw that Michelle was still covering her ears. James took a gobstopper and threw it at her.
"Argh, what's yer fucking game, yer daft English Prick?!" Michelle moaned.
"We got something to tell you all. I think Marco's come up with a good idea." James asked.