Normalcy Kicks In
Albus' questions were mixed with other topics, personal stories and mishaps, as each day faded into the next, both of them feeling like they were on an endless conversation, where each topic just triggered the next. Nerya had thought at first, she shouldn't give into her curiosity and deprive Albus of the answers he deserved, but at times restraining herself was very difficult. And so, facts about Elves and Middle Earth merged with magic and literature and philosophy.
Albus was more than willing to answer questions Nerya had about the wizarding world, but couldn't ask them before without raising suspicion. Purebloods and muggles and how does the Trace work exactly? And how people lived, and how exactly clocks worked.
''You don't have clocks?'' Albus was bemused.
''No, we don't…'' Nerya said disappointedly, like a child who was told Christmas are cancelled. ''We don't care about time, and very few studies exist on the subject, and none of them explain how that'' Nerya pointed at Albus' wrist watch, ''works, because that kind of clock didn't exist when the studies were written!'' She finished irritably.
''But you had known about clocks as a concept?'' Albus was smiling as he removed the watch from his wrist.
''As devices that count time, yes…'' she replied, staring at said item with a smile. ''You should have been inside my head, when I saw that for the first time,'' she pointed at the watch Albus was depositing on his lap, laughing at herself, ''I mean, that… That's a technological beauty, that's what that is! That's proof that humans are not completely rubbish at everything!'' Albus chuckled as he dipped his hand in his schoolbag, Nerya was gazing at the item, absently smiling. ''How much fine work and study did something like that take to be m- NOOOOO!'' She cried out in genuine despair when she noticed that Albus had taken out a Swiss knife and had attacked the innocent watch with a small screwdriver.
Albus almost dropped the items he was holding, as Nerya's cry had startled him.
''What are you doing?'' Nerya exclaimed, horrified still. ''Why do you even carry a portable torture kit with you?''
Albus barely refrained from snorting. ''You asked to see how it works!'' He exclaimed, amused.
Nerya struggled for several seconds, eyeing the items Albus had in his hands with mixed feelings. ''Yes, I did.'' she mumbled finally, her expression pained. ''But, you can't just disembowel it, Albus! Surely I can satisfy my curiosity without having to carry the weight of such a blasphemous vandalism!'' Revelation Morn apart, Albus had never seen her so agitated.
''Don't worry, I have disembowelled,'' his voice was trembling with mirth, Nerya threw him a half-hearted glare, ''this particular piece several times, and I always put everything back the way I found them.'' He reassured her as he returned his attention to the watch, his lips trembling by suppressed laughter.
''You can do that!?'' Nerya widened her eyes in admiration.
''As you said, there are some among us that aren't rubbish.'' Albus raised an arrogant brow as he opened the lid. ''Let alone the summers I've spent being bored to death.'' He deadpanned and they chuckled. ''it's a matter of cogwheels, really; now come, see here…?''
Nerya scooted closer in fascination.
It was Albus' turn to show off. How kinetic energy moved the gears and those in turn moved the hands, counting 60 seconds for a minute and 60 minutes for an hour. Nerya was enthralled by the fine mechanisms and the ingenuity such a small thing could have. Let alone the irony of how something as big as time was for humans could be kept inside such a small, metal thing. And then Albus was saying how muggles had to wound them in regular intervals for the hands to maintain the correct speed, but how magic had simplified things. How men usually wore pocket watches, but he would feel ancient if he wore the damn thing, and a wrist watch seemed far handier, so he had thought why not?
And then somehow they found themselves speaking of cool magical artefacts, Albus remembered how she had said that her people had great skill in that regard. Nerya mentioned the rings of power and how some could make you invisible, or prolong your life; Albus mentioned the Deathly Hallows, a newfound interest for him. Nerya of course wanted to know more, so Albus obliged, confident that she would not take him for a delusional lunatic. Over the last summer, he had started gathering some evidence that could prove their existence, or at least the Elder Wand's.
''Well, it would be hypocritical of me to be surprised when a children's tale turns out to be true…'' she had responded while she was thinking about the tale of the three brothers she had just heard. Albus choked into laughter. Nerya chuckled a bit too, as she continued. ''You don't suppose they were actually Death's gifts, though?''
''No, indeed, I don't think that's the case.'' He replied chuckling still. ''Probably the three brothers, or maybe they weren't really brothers, or maybe they weren't even three;'' it was Nerya's turn to laugh, ''in any case, someone at some point must have been real enough to make the Elder Wand. Or even the other two… I'm following some leads, maybe by the time I've finished school some answers might have presented themselves.''
''And then?'' Nerya asked with a grin.
''Who knows?'' Albus shrugged, excited and wild. ''No matter if they exist or not, or if they actually make you Death's Master or immortal or give you power beyond imagination,'' he intoned dramatically, ''anyway, whatever awesome thing they might do, it would be awfully interesting to search for them, physically or academically, wouldn't it?'' He replied with palpable excitement. ''To be the one who spotted the truth hidden in plain sight?'' His gaze trailed away to something only he could see, as he continued, with a passionate, almost mad glee in his sparkling blue eyes. ''To be the one chasing around what we thought were apparitions of our childhoods, lulling us to sleep?''
It didn't even occur to Nerya to try and contain the fool's grin and the adoring expression that was spreading on her face. ''Oh, when you put it like that how can anyone say no?''
The Revelation Morn was thoroughly discussed and analysed, Albus blushing about how he thought she was a lunatic at first and Nerya laughing and insisting she would have been disappointed in him if he hadn't. Nerya apologised most fervently for overloading him, but Albus responded that her anxious state was at first one of the biggest arguments that she was telling the truth. And then there was the child's trust. Fondness and pride overflew Nerya and wonder was there still; she thought she would be never be able to believe in the reality of all this as she stayed watching him, elation and amazement became palpable in the air.
And Albus just stayed watching back, in a similar state, as they tried to convey with their eyes and their presence all those things that words couldn't properly explain.
Sometimes Albus would remember something that Nerya had said and it led to a more elaborate explanation. ''What do you mean pure thought?'' Or, during an afternoon when they were comfortably sitting and reading, Albus had exclaimed out of the blue, ''What do you mean immortal? What if someone beheads you? Your head will retain consciousness and order your body to come and pick it up?''
''You mentioned social standing; on our Revelation Morn. So you have such a thing as class?'' Albus had asked one time.
Nerya hummed. ''Yes, we discriminate as well, but it's not a matter of blood so much as it is of skill, wisdom and power. This requires a rather long explanation…'' she warned him.
''Oh, ehm, are you too bored to regale it?'' Albus asked politely.
''No, you know I love showing off.'' Nerya grinned.
''And I love rather long explanations.'' Albus grinned back.
They giggled like the sly children they were and then Nerya begun, with all due playfulness.
''You see, there are the Ainur; much like your angels. Several millennia ago, before the sun and moon took their place in the sky, there were two trees that played those roles.'' Nerya begun her tale. ''The Laurelin, the golden tree, and the Telperion, the silver tree, guess which was which.'' She wiggled her brows, eliciting a chuckle from Albus, who had settled back on his armchair in utter contentment. ''Those trees were in Aman, the Blessed Realm, the westernmost continent of Arda, your Earth, which was flat back then, not a sphere. That's where the Ainur lived and it was one of them that had made the trees.''
''Flat Earth? Are these considered history or mythology?'' Albus asked.
''Aren't they often one and the same?'' Nerya commented quietly, smiling.
Albus chuckled and conceded she had a point. ''Your Aman, where you reside now?'' Albus asked, uncertain.
Nerya hummed positively. ''Eru, the supreme deity, he took the idea of it and extracted it from the universe, 6000 years ago. But physically the continent is here still. America.''
''Again history and mythology overlapping, I assume.'' Albus said in great certainty.
Nerya feigned thoughtfulness, as a bubble of laughter started forming in her guts; not with the joke so mush, as for the fact that she could finally blaspheme all she wanted without reprimand. ''Well,'' She looked a way to hide the excited glee in her eyes, ''I've never personally met Eru,'' she shrugged, trying to hide her amusement behind a poor façade of unblinking seriousness. ''But I have met the Ainur and they say he exists. What can I say, maybe it's all a marketing fraud.'' She murmured, lips trembling.
A chuckle escaped Albus, but he was mainly searching her face, trying to understand where truth begun and the teasing ended. ''You're- you're enjoying this, messing with me!'' Albus exclaimed, but he sounded more elated than hurt.
Nerya let out the surge of giggles at last, while Albus blushed, not knowing what to do with this; someone was messing with him and there was no ill-intent. Nerya didn't want to belittle him or simply wound his pride and ego, out of spite or envy; she was counting on him to see through her cunning scheme and laugh along.
And so Albus did, as Nerya's giggles faded away and she stayed gazing at him with a huge smile and eyes wide from wonder and elation.
''Right,'' Nerya sat up, mirth still making her voice uneven, ''now why am I mentioning this? You see, back when the trees still stood, my people woke up, freshly made by the hands of none other than Eru himself.'' Nerya intoned dramatically, amusement still drizzling in the air. She paused and clarified. ''All this happened in middle earth.''
''Midearth, you kept saying those past few days!'' Albus exclaimed.
''Yes,'' Nerya chuckled coyly, her cheeks a bit pink about the slippings of her tongue, ''Middle earth was the main continent of Arda.''
Albus hummed. ''I'm guessing… Eurasia?''
''Alongside Africa, yes, and it got a bit disfigured through the millennia.''
Albus chuckled. ''So, thousands of years ago,'' he prompted her.
''Yes, the Eldar, Elves in my tongue, woke up and they had all the potential to be bright and wise and powerful, but, like every child, they needed the correct influences.'' Nerya regaled with mocked seriousness. ''So the Ainur invited them to join them in Aman, be tutored by them and see the light of the trees. And that's where the discrimination begins. Those who went and stayed and learned from the Ainur are called Calaquendi, Elves of light, even if they chose to return to Middle Earth later; and so do their descendants, even those who were born in Middle Earth much later. They're more angelic-like, all light and wisdom and skill in crafts and words.''
''You're a Calakvede…?'' Albus tried to repeat the term.
Nerya grinned, a new surge of enthusiasm taking over her with Albus speaking her tongue. ''Try kw instead of kv and a short, humble i as in 'it', instead of e: Calakwendi(t).'' She repeated clearly. Albus repeated the word a couple of times, a huge grin plastered on his face. ''That's much better, well done.'' Nerya said, her cheeks aching from smiling so broadly.
Albus giggled again, excited and sly as a child. ''So are you a Calaquendi?'' he showed off.
Nerya chuckled. ''Partly, from my father's side. Mother is a Moriquendi, an Elf of Darkness.'' She noticed Albus widening his eyes in alarm. ''Oh, no, no, it's just that they're less angelic, more, you know, human.'' She feigned disgust, looking down on him, which earned her a half-hearted glare from Albus. He followed her into giggles quickly enough, though.
''Are the Ainur no longer in Aman, then?'' Albus asked, Nerya tried to understand how he reached that conclusion. ''If the Moriquendi eventually went to Aman as well, didn't they have the Ainur to help them evolve into something more bright and wise and powerful?'' Albus explained.
''Ah. No, the Ainur are still there, but it's only 6000 years since we left Earth. The Moriquendi are still in primary school.'' Nerya waved it off.
Albus' lips thinned into a trembling line. ''Right, how could I forget. 6000 years, pff, no biggie. Ohh.'' He groaned, rubbing his eyes with thumb and forefinger, Nerya chuckling silently and slyly. Albus breathed and focused again, grinning widely. ''So, the social chasm is getting lesser and lesser through the millennia?''
''Yes, I suppose it does.'' Nerya let out a last chuckle and settled down as well. ''But still some of the Moriquendi have more to learn than others.'' She said thoughtfully. ''There are also further discriminations, dividing my race into peoples, groups who have lived in certain places, done certain things; who have certain grieves binding them together and share pasts and dialects.''
''Like… tribes?'' Albus tried.
Nerya let out a laugh. ''I find the term suitable, but don't let them hear you. Tribes,'' she mocked a deep arrogant voice, ''as if we were primitives, they would say.'' Her façade fell as she rolled her eyes.
Albus hummed, considering her with a small smile. ''The term is somewhat degrading for us too.'' He conceded, but then he smirked devilishly. ''But they keep snobbing us from what you're telling me, so, what tribe do you belong to?'' He asked, eyes twinkling.
Nerya acknowledged him with a smirk, and answered. ''My father and his side of the family are of the Noldor, those of the Eldar who made the journey to Aman and saw the light,'' she responded playfully, ''but chose to return to Middle Earth to fight Morgoth. That's a story for another time. My mother is one of the Silvan, who must be discriminated from the Sindar. They're both Moriquendi, they both didn't reach Aman back on the first big journey, but the Sindar were taught in middle Earth by two Maiar, lower class of Ainur, so they're somewhere in between the Noldor (the High Elves) and the Silvan (Lowest of the low Elves.)'' they snorted. ''Now, the Silvan were the first to abandon the journey and they had no one to teach them, so they're the most human of the three. They ended up being colonized by the others.'' She said unenthusiastically.
Albus hummed appreciatively. ''Reasonable.'' He remarked.
''And here we go again,'' Nerya mumbled under her breath, not very convincingly mocking irritation at the recurring theme, which always led the conversation to an 'agree to disagree' tie, no matter how the concepts and arguments varied. Still Nerya braced herself for it. ''Reasonable, you say?'' she got into her debate-mode, Albus smirked devilishly, before he smoothed his expression into polite interest as well. ''They're being bossed around and snobbed for not being Elvish enough!'' Nerya exclaimed.
''Yes, I understand the cruelty, and maybe leaving them alone would have its merits, for example, the comparison wouldn't humiliate them;'' Albus reasoned. ''But all this comes down, again,'' he chuckled at the familiarity of the debate, ''to how much you value the trait of wisdom in a ruler. What would the Silvan engage in if they were left on their own devices?''
''Even the wise can't know everything!'' Nerya exclaimed.
''We have agreed though that one wise person, or better, though more difficult, acouncilof wise persons is the safest possible form of government.'' Albus reminded her.
''I agree it is the safest, but not always the ideal. You recall of course how I insisted that a ruling system needs to be based upon the needs and traits that define the group of people that are being ruled! I cannot accept that monarchy or oligarchy even with wisdom leading the way is the best solution to every case out there!'' Nerya intoned. ''The Noldor cannot know how the Silvan feel; their wisdom allows them to approach it theoretically, but they haven't felt the pain and the anger, the humiliation.'' she said with quiet passion. ''And most of the times they can't appreciate the beauty and skill the Silvan possess, because they do, in their way;'' she emphasized, ''and it's because the Noldor consider themselves superior! But if the Silvan were encouraged to establish communities of their own, then the danger of prejudice even a wise ruler might have is practically nullified. Yes, maybe the Silvan would have found themselves in trouble once or twice,'' she conceded, ''but at least they would be free to make their own mistakes! Surely you can see the importance of that!''
''Yes, I do see it, but even I find that too idealistic; even to me it seems too much of a utopia.'' Albus exclaimed back. ''If only Kendra could hear me say that something is too idealistic instead of not idealistic enough.'' Albus mumbled more to himself, Nerya snorted; but he shook his head to return to his point. ''I fervently wish that the people around me had the skill and clarity of mind to be regarded as responsible for their lives and deeds, but you must see that they are not! I can't speak about your people of course, but if a human is left to their own devices, most of the times it leads to chaos and disorder.'' Albus said, a sad, almost pained expression on his face. ''Imagine the students under this roof. How many would get down to studying, or helping someone, or reaching the best of their ability, if structure and strictness didn't exist? I hate to say that, really I do, and I wish it weren't true, but unfortunately history is teaching us that we need society and structure, that's what is best for the many.''
''And now we've reached the point where you mention res publica.'' Nerya said, smiling fondly and Albus got a bit pink. ''But this time, the context favours me more than you; we don't have such a thing back home. No mockery of democracy where the many are under the impression that they're ruling, when in reality there's always some arrogant arsehole who takes advantage of them, manipulates them to serve his or her own interest. A res publica justifies your obsession with protecting the many.'' Nerya conceded. ''Our many, however, are perfectly taken care of, they have their place and their rights, but what about the few? Fine, let's start from regarding the fate of the many as our first priority, but after that, shouldn't we try to include the few as well?''
''What do you have, a monarchy?'' Albus asked, frowning.
''More like an oligarchy.''
''And based upon the spiritual excellence and not on blood or money, right? Aristocracy of the spirit, what you have is a utopia realised, humans may never reach that! What do you mean go further than that?'' Albus cried out, incredulous. ''In human terms, you have already reached the peak!''
''For the many, perhaps, but we are not human! What about the Silvan, the few?''
''The few will have to fend for themselves.'' Albus said, a bit harshly. ''We both belong to the few, don't we? I wish that life would be as easy for us as it is for the many, but unfortunately it isn't. But we learned to deal with it, and now we know more than the many do. And that puts us in a position where we'll be able to help them eventually!''
''You know I can see the beauty of what you're saying; how we first take care of the many, because they can't be trusted to take care of themselves. (I would uphold freedom even if it leads to destruction, but let's get passed that, for argument's sake.) And then the few might flourish through the hardships they'll be put through, being the outcasts they are, and that will be a sort of test as well. It sorts out the few in two categories, those who managed to rise and meet the demands of a society against all odds, and those who for some reason didn't. Well, once the many are safe and the strong few can manage on their own, shouldn't a society move forward to help the weak few?''
''That's why the strong few exist.'' Albus reasoned.
''Yes, they acquire knowledge and skills that one of the many doesn't need to have, and it puts them in a position where they can see the greater picture, the manyandthe few. What about dealing with the consequences these hardships will have in one's psyche, however? Being one of the few can make you angry and bitter and arrogant, and that's unpractical, because it spoils your clarity of mind. You might become unstable, and combined with your skill and intelligence,'' Nerya sighed, shaking her head ruefully. ''it's too dangerous. And although most leaders of that kind, like that fellow Bonaparte for example, are mighty and achieve greatness, they're bound to make a mistake; and their mistake will possibly be far more extensive than one of someone belonging to the many would have been. And that's probably why a revolution hardly ever works.''
''But if one could make it work, wouldn't it be spectacular?'' Albus whispered passionately, wildly.
Nerya smiled. ''Yes, it certainly would.'' She indulged him, but then she frowned again. ''If there is no safer way to better the situation, that is. Why should we make things more complicated and dangerous than they already are, in the first place? Why shouldn't we leave the Silvan fend for themselves? They can't harm the Noldor, whatever they do, because they're the strong ones, the many, the wise.'' She mocked the word. ''So the only reasonable answer I have in this case, is that we think we are saving them,helping them. But the problem is, how can one presume they know how to help someone who is so very different from them, no matter how wise that person is?''
''I understand the dangers, but would you prefer to have them stay as they are? To not reach the best of their potential?''
''If reaching the best of your potential means being regarded as something low and petty, being pitied and patronized, thenyes. I'd prefer them to be free and stupid, instead of dependent and patronized into 'wisdom', a word that's already too difficult to be defined.'' She threw him a look.
Albus was smiling. ''You know, we always agreed to disagree in the matter, and I must say it was new for me to be the realistic one, but now I get why your perspective seems so idealistic.''
''I've never been unreasonable.'' Nerya reminded him with a smile.
Albus chuckled fondly. ''I think you could try hard to be unreasonable and you'd still wouldn't manage it. No, you're just thinking ahead…'' he frowned. ''I mean, we've established that your political situation is much better than here; perhaps you can afford to take that leap.'' Albus shrugged and then scowled. ''All our politicians are blood-sucking bastards with long claws and fangs, like a hippogriff, but with none of the beast's self-respect and fairness. Res Publica indeed.'' Nerya chuckled at his tone, a mixture of disgust and exasperation. ''And they assume command either because of who their father was or because they managed to charm the people into voting for them. No wonder they always manage to fuck things up.''
''You have a minister, though right? How is he/she selected?'' Nerya asked and Albus started explaining.
They also studied a bit, not homework because they had already finished that in the first days of the holidays.
''Partly as an excuse to spend more time together.'' Albus remarked as he opened his book. ''I remember trying to find a way to delay the process, so I could milk this excuse for as long as I can.'' They dissolved into chuckles.
''And still we finished too quickly.'' Nerya commented, chuckling still. ''Dear Earendil, we needed an excuse back then, just to hang out together.'' She exclaimed and made a pained face. ''We're so pathetic…''
''It's not even back then, Nerya.'' Albus retorted, ''it's literally a few days ago.''
''It's hardly my fault that so many things have happened in so little time!'' She defended herself playfully, smiling back.
''Indeed. It's both our fault.'' They laughed again, their attention slowly concentrating on their books.
So they sat in the common room or in some quiet corner somewhere in the castle, in companionable silence. Nerya wondered at all the academical work Albus was occupying himself with and read some of his correspondence with various persons of academical significance, while he was writing his replies. Bathilda Bagshot's letters were her favourite, not only because of all the information about the facts and gossips of magical history but also because of her sharp sense of humour as a correspondent.
''Dear Merlin!'' Albus slapped his brow, startling Nerya.
''You figured out a way to resolve the-'' Nerya started, thinking he had a breakthrough in his latest transfiguration project.
''No, no, no. On our Revelation Morn,'' Albus was brainstorming, lost in his realisation, ''I never even considered being suspicious about why would you tell me something like that! I thought about everything, saw the matter from every perspective I could think of, but I never doubted-''
''You did think it was a farce…'' Nerya remarked.
''Yes…'' Albus considered it. ''But I never stopped to think Why me? Why now? It seemed obvious that it would bemeyou chose to open up to, and that it was high time you told me your secret! Even though we knew each other three months and had barely spent a descent amount of time together; and then you come and trust me with something like this and I don't even blink.'' He said, exasperated.
''Quite literally at first.'' Nerya quipped, trying to ignore her guts, twisting.
Albus tried to glare at her, but then acknowledged her statement with a nod and an amused smile. He then returned to his book. Nerya didn't however, she stayed watching him. They had talked about that morning a few times these last few days, shared their perspectives, and reviewed the whole thing. They both knew why Nerya had opened up, so why did he make that comment now? It was as if he was sorting through the affair again and again… Was he suspicious still? Was he afraid he had missed something?
''I know I can be quite irresistible when I study,'' Albus' voice broke Nerya out of her musings, his gaze darted between her and the book, as he turned a page, ''I suspect however, that taking me on this desk is not the reason behind your staring.''
''You cocky bastard…'' she muttered and a smile escaped her, a whole avalanche of innuendos had ensued from the bruising joke. Albus fixed his eyes on her, intently but kindly, and waited. ''It's embarrassing…'' she warned him.
''How interesting.'' Albus replied suggestively.
''I wish… What you said just now…'' Nerya started, staring at him unblinkingly, and Albus frowned. ''Does it waver?'' Nerya asked seriously. ''Are there times you don't believe it? Don't give me empty-'' she hurried to reassure him, but Albus got there first.
''I won't give you empty words. I left you stew in your anxiousness, just because I didn't want to give you empty words.'' Nerya huffed, smiled. He closed the book and interlaced his fingers in front of him, face serious. ''I made a choice. To trust. It doesn't come easily with me, trust, but…'' he searched her eyes, fondness took over his face, ''but when it does occur, it seems I overdo it.''
His breath hitched when Nerya's face almost exploded with gratitude, relief, joy, so many other things. That look of gratitude again; Albus couldn't help thinking that it seemed so unfamiliar on her face, so strange. But it suited her so much better than her usual mask of the composed, self-assured Nerya, intelligent and friendly with everyone, and so very good at the game. That Nerya was fierce and beautiful. But now she looked younger, more vulnerable, carefree, innocent; the word beautiful seemed too small to describe the breath-taking sight she made. Albus adored it, every piece of it. Nerya gave him a trembling smile, trying to convey with her eyes everything that she didn't want to put to words. 'Not want,' she thought and her heart was lifted to even higher altitudes of elation. 'Need. I don't need to put them to words.'
''So, you are just reviewing it? Academically?'' She finally stated more than asked.
Albus blinked and tried to remember the English language. ''Yes, to learn from what could have been a mistake. Make sure-''
''Make sure it wouldn't happen again.'' Nerya finished with a smile, her face wild with pride and fondness. ''Oh, being clever is exhausting, isn't it?'' It was partly a joke.
The mad glee of her expression was mirrored in Albus' as well. ''Poor us…'' He whispered and it was partly a joke too.
They both chuckled, their eyes locked on each other. Neither squirmed under the other's stare, neither felt uncomfortable. They had something wild and hungry about them, and if their acquaintances could witness them now, the facades they had built for the public's sake would crumple; that part of them they tried to keep hidden, not the arrogance so much, as the need for a friend. Someone equal, who understood, who could keep up. That was the hunger they kept hidden most of all. But for them, it was their fondness for each other that was palpable in the air. Until they returned to their reading.