Chapter 27: A Pox On the Phony King of England
"LET US OUT!" Sakuzy shouted, rushing Opal only to be electrocuted and sent back.
"What made you think that would work?" The Sheriff asked, smugly.
"Your release can be negotiated," Opal stated. Everyone present gave her a bewildered look before a small smirk formed on her face. "All you three need to do is surrender yourselves. Sakuzy, Yozora, come with me. Robin Hood, you will be placed under arrest. Under these conditions, I shall tell Prince John to not crush your friends."
"And let myself be executed?" Robin Hood asked, indignantly.
"Looks like you're gonna be dead, either way," Sheriff smirked. "Six o' one, half dozen another~"
"All your routes are cut off and you're not going to last much longer," Opal stated, gesturing to the burning room around them. "At this point, the only logical solution is to give yourselves over."
Logical solution...those two words echoed in Sakuzy's mind. He then looked at Yozora.
"Hey," he asked in a sharp whisper. Yozora glanced at him, indicating he was listening. "She's got our logical exits covered..."
"So?" Yozora asked.
"If she's beating us with logic...what's the LEAST logical thing we could do to escape? Something so unbelievably stupid that she wouldn't think we'd consider it?" Sakuzy said, making sure to keep his voice low.
After a moment of thinking it over, Yozora only had one response, "Joyex is gonna hate me for it, but I endorse this wholeheartedly and am with you 'til the end."
"Rob, think you can keep these two distracted?" Sakuzy asked.
"Of course," Robin nodded.
"It doesn't matter what the plan is," Opal stated, having noticed they were talking but not what they were saying. "I have plotted for every-"
"ROBIN HOOD!" Sakuzy yelled.
"Oo de lally!" Robin Hood exclaimed, grabbing his bow and firing. Opal shot the arrows out of the air with her pistols.
"HOLD IT RIGHT-" the Sheriff shouted, but didn't quite get the words out.
CLANG!
Yozora belted him over the head with his shovel, sending the rotund wolf to the ground in a heap, "That felt good."
"Time for our finest performance!" Robin Hood proclaimed.
He then fired an arrow at Sakuzy, who deflected and sent the arrow ricocheting around. Sakuzy thrust out his Keyblade. The arrow glowed before it suddenly exploded in a barrage of fireworks. Opal yelled as she covered her eyes, the lightning barrier and flames remaining up.*
"WHAT DID YOU EVEN PLAN ON-" she glared just in time to see that Yozora was hammering at the supports for the tower. He was already hacking through the last one. "STOP!"
"You know, for a smart lady, you're really stupid!" Yozora shouted. Another heavy swing. "WE'RE trapped with you? Oh no!"
"HEAD'S UP!" Sakuzy shouted, throwing his Keyblade at the support just as Yozora hit it again.
"YOU'VE trapped yourself in here, with US!" Yozora proclaimed.
That was all they needed to cut through it. The whole structure began to collapse then and there, crumbling down as everyone inside screamed as they went into a free fall.
Apparently, the structure wasn't as stable as they thought. The entire side of the castle began to come down. Fortune was on their side, though. It slammed into the side of the Golden Fortress, causing it to tumble to the side, its three targets finally able to break free and evade the oncoming rubble. And right behind the collapsing castle, Sakuzy, Yozora, and Robin quickly jumped out, landing right with their companions with collective sighs of relief.
"Made it," Sakuzy said.
"A little too close for comfort, that," Robin agreed.
"So, NO collapsing castles?" Joyex asked, shooting Yozora a look.
"I mean...to be fair, it's about...FIFTY percent my fault?" Sakuzy asked.
"I had my toes crossed," Yozora replied.
FWISH!
A blast of lightning flew over their shoulders. They saw Opal staggering out of the rubble, next to a still unconscious Sheriff. Opal, though, was finally showing an expression on her face.
She was FURIOUS.
"And he says I can't remember where I live..." the Sheriff groaned.
"You may have gotten out," she snarled. "But I'll still..."
And there was the telltale screeching sound. The hooded form of Sapphire appeared on top of the ruined portion of the castle, "Opal. This is all you can do. I know it rankles, but I must ask you to withdraw."
"M-Master...Sapphire, LET ME," Opal snarled, staggering to her feet. "I HAVEN'T LOST!"
"Correct, you have NOT lost. Let that content you. Beyond this, there is no victory," Sapphire stated.
"I CAN TAKE-"
WHAM!
Opal was suddenly hit by Becca hurling her Keyblade at her. Joyex then shouted "GATHER!", bringing the Keyblade back, slamming into Opal's back. She staggered, preparing a shot with her pistols only for Yozora to fire a shot that knocked one clean out of her hand. Robin shot another, leaving her disarmed. Lucy then charged, hitting Opal with her sword hard enough to make her spit out a mouthful of...what they assumed was blood, but it had the same color as her eyes, crystal, and robes. Sakuzy then charged, pointing his Keyblade right at her face.
"Alright, you guys seem to know what's going on, but I still don't have a clue, so you're gonna give me some answers," he snarled. "Why are you guys so obsessed with me?"
Opal just growled, giving Sakuzy a look of pure contempt as she grit her teeth. She opened her mouth...
But before she could say anything, she vanished with the loud screeching sound. Sapphire had come up and tapped her, making her vanish.
"Apologies. She has great aspirations, but she still has much to learn," he said, apologetically, as he stood up tall.
"What even ARE you?" Sakuzy asked, taken aback as he staggered back.
"You're smart, Sakuzy. You'll figure it out."
With that cryptic response, Sapphire vanished.
"The guy's a broken record," Becca remarked.
"Least he wasn't on my case this time," Yozora murmured.
"Still, that problem's done," Lucy said.
Just as she finished, the Golden Fortress began to rise, Prince John laughing from within, "Unfortunately, I'm still here! And here, I SHALL STAY!"
"Easier, but still difficult," Joyex said, readying his whip...
Then Yozora halted.
He was no longer stood in Nottingham. There was no gilded giant glowering down upon him. He was instead in a cold, dimly lit crypt. There were….voices murmuring in soft silence all around him. Condolences. Worry. But none of those voices belonged to his present company.
"At last, you have arrived, Your Highness."
Huh? Yozora's eyes widenedi n shock. A voice deep and smooth, but weary broke out through all the background noise.
"Yeah." He found his own lips moving without even realising it. But his tone was nitter and melancholic. Why? Why did he speak with such a sad voice. Why did his heart feel so heavy? Before he could ponder more, the older voice spoke once more
"The power of kings,..."
"... passed from the old to the new through the bonding of souls..." Yozora murmured in trance-like state, in perfect sync with the unseen stranger's.
With sudden bursts of pale blue light, his weapons appeared in front of him. Fishing pole, katana, macuahuitl, shovel, bow. All of them rotating in front of him.
"What's going on?" Sakuzy asked.
"Not sure," Yozora said. "...But I think it's COOL..."
He reached out his hand, his weapons gathering in his fist. The spectral weapons converged in his fist as he charged at the Golden Fortress. He then slashed with a yell, passing by it...
With a rumbling, the Golden Fortress then slowly slid off. Prince John screamed as he began trying to get off. But the Golden Fortress began to collapse.
"We should run," Sakuzy said.
"Good idea," Joyex nodded as the group turned and ran.
"WAY MORE DAMAGE THAN I THOUGHT IT'D DO!" Yozora yelled as he followed after.
The Golden Fortress dissolved as it crumbled into dust, a sizable heart floating out before vanishing.
Sakuzy, Joyex, Becca, Lucy, Yozora, and Robin sighed as they looked at the wreckage left in their wake. The massive damage done by the Golden Fortress, the chunk of castle that Sakuzy and Yozora tore off...
"What happened there?" Little John asked as he ran up with Friar Tuck and Zidane.
"Oh...just a little scuffle was all," Robin said, nonchalantly.
"All-in-all, think we did okay," Sakuzy shrugged.
"Oh, I would not be so sure of THAT~" they realized that Prince John was alive and holding a sword. "I am still here! AND I AM STILL-"
"John!" everyone stopped as they saw a figure striding in. He was a large, muscular, middle-aged lion with a light brown mane, wearing a white tabard with a red hem and a yellow cross design on its front, a golden necklace, and carrying a crown. Next to him was Maid Marian. "What is the meaning of this? And why have you destroyed Mother's castle?"
"R-R-R-Richard, my dear...DEAR old brother," John stammered. "You see...I was, um, well, I was keeping your kingdom safe. When these DANGEROUS criminals!"
"No, dear uncle," Maid Marian said. "They were trying to protect the people while your brother oppressed them. They are your true allies!"
Richard looked at John, Marian, and then to the group, who put their best, most friendly faces on. The king then held out a hand to John, who took it in an eager shake...until he noticed the look on his face.
"Return my crown," Richard ordered. Prince John whimpered as he slowly took the crown off his head. "You'll have much to answer for. Especially ruining Mother's castle!"
"Mommy..." Prince John wailed before sucking his thumb.
"As for you...I believe I owe you a great deal," Richard said, taking a medal off of his neck and holding it out. "Here, I found this while on my Crusade."
Sakuzy took the medallion, seeing a familiar charm. This one had a symbol that looked like a sun...or was it a lion? He then turned around before holding it out to Yozora.
"Here. This is yours," he said.
"What? You took it, it's yours," Yozora commented.
"No, Yoze. You wanted to do this whole thing. Nottingham's been freed because of you. You get the reward," Sakuzy said, still holding it out to Yozora.
After a moment of hesitation, Yozora took the charm and tucked it away, "Thanks..."
Sakuzy looked out to Sherwood Forest, wondering how much longer it would take for their ship to be functional again...when his Keyblade formed in his hand. The Keyhole formed over the treetops. Sakuzy pointed his Keyblade at it, a beam of light flying out to let out the audible CLICK.
"What's with the light show?" Yozora asked.
"It's...nothing," Sakuzy replied. "But I have the feeling you won't need to worry about those Heartless or Crystalli."
Joyex then checked something and said, "Good news. Our...ride is fixed up. We can head out."
"Can't you stay?" Robin asked, an arm around Marian's shoulders. "You've done so much for Nottingham."
"I know and we'd love to stick around, but...we're looking for something and can't find it here," Becca said.
"Yeah. We're just passing through," Yozora replied. "But we're friends. And that means we'll never be too far apart."
"It's the experiences and...little things we did that keep us glued together," Sakuzy said, finding a stray arrowhead. He attached it to his Keyblade. In a flash, it changed again, the shaft becoming a long, wooden pole with two branches jutting out to act like its teeth, a noticeable arrowhead on the top, a pair of bows as the handguards, and a few red feathers growing out of it for decoration.
Oo De Lally, Sakuzy thought, naming the Keyblade that.
"Well, how about we make one more memory before you go?" Robin offered. "Nottingham's been freed, let's have a song! Little John?"
"YEAH!" Little John nodded, eagerly, as he began playing his lute before leading a small parade of the collected group.
Little John: Oh the world will sing of an English King
A thousand years from now,
And not because he passed some laws
Or had that lofty brow!
As they began their procession, Zidane began dancing, swaying and grinning as the others began to join in.
Zidane: With bonny good King Richard led
The Crusade that had him gone,
We all had to slave away
For that good-for-nothin' John!
Robin Hood swung right to the front of the line as he and Little John laughed back and forth.
Robin Hood: Incredible as he is inept,
Whenever the history books are kept,
They'll call him the phony king of England!
Friar Tuck pumped his fist in agreement as he laughed.
Friar Tuck: A pox on the phony king of England!
Right at that, Sakuzy and Joyex jumped onto the remnants of the Golden Fortress, giving wide grins as they led the others on.
Sakuzy: He sat alone on that golden throne,
Pretending to be king!
Joyex: A little tyke who was much more like
A puppet on a string!
Becca: And he'd throw an angry tantrum
When he could not have his way...
Lucy: And now, he's calling for Mum...
While he's suckin' his thumb~
Little John: You see, he doesn't want to play!
Yozora smiled as he shrugged.
Yozora: Too late to be known as John the First,
He's sure to be known as John the WORST!
A pox on that phony king of England!
"Lay that country on me, babe~" Little John grinned.
With that, the group jumped down and began to dance. Becca yelled, "C'mon, Joyex!"
He grabbed her hand as he swung her around. She laughed as she spun around.
"Go, Becca, GO!" he cheered.
"Milady!" Zidane beamed as she came close. With that, she jumped away. "Eh, can't win them all."
Sakuzy danced with Lucy for a moment before she jumped to Little John, who swung her under his legs for a moment. Robin Hood and Marian danced enthusiastically with each other. King Richard clapped them on as Sakuzy motioned to Yozora. With a shrug, the powerhouse joined in with the dancing. And the song continued.
Sakuzy: Well, he taxed the folks to pieces
And he robbed them of their bread,
King Richard's crown kept slippin' down
Around that pointed head!
Yozora: Ah! But with us Merry Man,
Robin's good ol', wily pack,
We found a way to make him pay
And steal their money back!
Zidane: Before he knew we were there...
Robin had already snatched his underwear!
The breezy and uneasy king of England!
Robin Hood bowed as they all clapped, cheering him on.
Little John: The snivellin' grovellin'...
Sakuyz: Measly weasly...
Joyex: Blabberin' jabberin'...
Becca: Gibberin' jabberin'...
Lucy: Plunderin' plottin'...
Yozora: Wheelin' dealin'...
Group: Prince John, that phony King of England!
Yeah!
And the dancing continued until the break of dawn. That was when they had to make their departure.
POHPOHPOHPOHPOHPOH
Opal snarled as she stormed out of the meeting room. Sapphire's admonishment hadn't been as severe as Ruby. After all, her plan had nearly worked. If they needed to be as unpredictable as possible to get out, then she deserved credit. It was that refusal to take what she could get and escape, unscathed, that got that treatment.
"Yo, Opie!" Emerald greeted, Amber next to him, "How'd it go?"
"Did ya get Saku?" Amber eagerly asked.
Opal just tapped the two on their shoulders. Electricity immediately coursed through the two lesser Crystalli. They yelled as the lightning briefly illuminated their skeletons as she passed by.
"You could've just said 'no'," Amber groaned.
"I miss the fossil lady," Emerald mumbled before the two of them collapsed.
"Next time, I'll completely immobilize them," Opal snarled. "They'll see what I'm truly capable of..."
"All the planning can't account for dumb luck," commented the tall, feminine figure in greenish-blue robes.
"They are stupid, yes. They are primitives," added the muscular figure in yellow. "Idiots. IMPULSIVE idiots. And those are the most frustrating ones."
"How do you formulate a strategy like that? It's like chartering a ship while it sails through a hurricane," concluded the more slight figure in purple.
"I need better data. How they work, how they advance. I'll predict their next move and annihilate them then," Opal growled.
"There is still much we need to do. And they are developing," Sapphire replied as he left the room as well. "As such, I shall take Pearl to observe them. But we need something else. A crisis to draw them in...perhaps that Coliseum would be a place to start."
"I take it that that's my cue, Sapphire?" the towering figure in yellow asked, voice sounding eager.
"Naturally. But you will need backup as well," Sapphire said. "Spinel. That seems like a place you would do well in."
"You know it, Boss Saph!" the figure in purplish-red robes exclaimed, giving the thumbs up.
"You won't...hurt him?" Pearl asked as she peeked out from behind a pillar. "Sakuzy, I mean."
"You think I WOULD?" Spinel asked. "Might rough 'im up a bit, but I'll bring him in one piece, don't you worry!"
"Then prepare for our missions, all of you," Sapphire stated.
POHPOHPOHPOHPOHPOH
"Why here? Why now? They're not supposed to come for a long time," murmured a man in blue robes and a flowing, red cape as he sat in a meditative state. A green jewel glowed from within a medallion, giving him sight into time itself. It then seemed to spark and rattled within its container. "Oh no...no, don't tell me..."
"HEY, DOC!" exclaimed a voice as the door flung open.
The doctor sighed as he placed his feet down. He needed help from other mystics, but the best he could find were the dweebus and the cowboy simp. He looked over to see his two associates standing in the doorway.
"What?" the doctor asked, impatiently.
"We found it! It spent time hopping around from world to world, but we nabbed it!" the first one, a well-built, bespectacled man with a red and blue jacket eagerly explained. "A little sealing spell should keep it from jumping again, though!"
The doctor walked out to see a large wardrobe. One with various patterns and designs carved into it. Lamp posts, apples, lions...all very specific and intricately designed. He took the handle and began to pull. But the door wouldn't budge.
"An issue," he murmured to himself, rubbing his chin (which was decorated with a short goatee). "But Keywielders are in the area. Could be SOME help, I guess." He then looked at his two associates again. "And the Omnibus?"
"Getting patched up, as we speak!" the second associate replied. She was a fairly thick young woman wearing mostly reds and a cowboy hat. "We can't tell you how tricky it was to find a bookbinder who wouldn't ask questions, but the rebinding should be finished soon!"
The doctor nodded as he looked back at the wardrobe. Things seemed fine for now...but his exploration into the timestream and general intuition told him that things were probably going to go very wrong.
That was when he heard more footsteps. The magical trio turned to the entryway just in time to see two new people enter the room.
"G'day, Doc," Scott Highflier greeted, tipping up his hat as Ryan Syrus waved. "We're back."
Hitchhiker Entries:
King Richard
The rightful king of England. Due to the machinations of his brother, he was off on crusade, leaving John in charge. Now that he's back, Nottingham should be back on track. His rule was affirmed in Robin Hood (1973).
*Robin Hood's "Outlaw Barrage"