"You made it!" Neville's smile seemed to radiate straight from his heart, as Theo entered the room. So bright and genuinely excited that it caused Theo's own face to heat, as he gave him a curt nod and quickly closed the door behind him.

It had been almost two weeks — thirteen long and unbearably confusing days — since Theo's rather abrupt revelation about his sexuality, and exactly twelve days, since he'd met up with Neville the next day and had realised that he wasn't just attracted to the handsome Gryffindor, but that he was very quickly (and completely unseemly) developing rather strong feelings for him.

Quite the shock, that was. Sure, he had known that he was kind of crushing on Neville, but he had attributed that to being sexually repressed and probably finding any boy who granted him even the smallest bit of attention, attractive.

Who would have thought that accepting his sexuality would only make things worse? That…after all his internal turmoil, acknowledging the truth would come with a whole set of other truths that made Theo wish he could obliviate himself, just so that he would never have to think about them again.

Unfortunately, that wasn't an option, and so, Theo had to learn how to live with them.

…And wasn't that going well?

In the beginning, he had thought that it would be best to avoid Neville for a little while; partially, because he needed time to digest the news for himself, but also because he couldn't bear to look him in the eye and pretend that everything between them was still the same.

So he started to withdraw himself and spent most of his spare time up in the owlery, drawing in silence and brooding over his stupid feelings. And for a little while it felt good…for Theo anyway. Neville on the other hand didn't seem to like this new arrangement at all. Granted, Theo had as much as ghosted him without any explanation, so he hadn't expected Neville to understand. He hadn't, however, anticipated the Gryffindor's increasingly desperate and more and more daring and, quite frankly, reckless attempts to seek him out. If Neville had kept going like that he would have been caught for sure.

So in the end Theo had caved and decided that he would just have to suck it up and pretend that nothing had changed. 'Fake it til you make it' so to say. Because Neville didn't deserve any of this. It wasn't his fault that Theo was a mess. That his mind was all twisted and kept feeding him pictures of the two of them kissing and touching and doing all sorts of unspeakable things to each other.

Heat crept into Theo's face, as images of Neville, hot and needy, flashed across his inner eye, and he had to take a second to compose himself and push those thoughts to the back of his mind, before he dared to look up and meet his friend's eyes.

When he finally did, Neville was still looking at him with that same excited smile and warmth — a warmth Theo felt he didn't deserve — radiating from his soft hazel eyes.

Today was Friday, and Theo had woken up to a message from Neville, asking if he could come and see him during one of their shared free periods in the afternoon, since he wasn't going to be able to meet up this evening and would be leaving on the Hogwarts Express early the next day to spend Christmas at his grandmother's house.

It was their last opportunity to meet before being separated for two whole weeks, so really, Theo couldn't have said no. Even if it meant that he would have to pretend. Even if it meant that Neville would smile at him in that way that made it hard to breathe, and send shivers down Theo's spine every time he came just a little too close. Even if Theo's heart broke a little every time Neville called him 'mate'. It was still worth it. For Neville.

Besides, this was Theo's last chance to see Neville before he went home for Christmas, and despite knowing that a two week break from seeing him would probably be helpful in getting over his crush, he hated the idea of leaving things the way they were, — especially since Neville had no idea about any of it.

So in the end, Theo had caved and had dragged himself up to the seventh floor, prepared to face his demons head on and pretend that nothing between him and Neville had changed. …because really, it hadn't. Neville was still the sweet and unfairly handsome friend and Theo was still hopelessly pining for him in secret. It's how things were between them, and despite it being painful, it was better than the alternative of losing Neville altogether.

"Of course." He finally said, fighting to push all his unwanted emotions to the back of his mind and plaster a pleasant smile onto his face. "Couldn't just let you disappear without saying goodbye, could I?"

At that, Neville's face fell a little.

"I wish I didn't have to go." He said quietly, his eyes growing dark. "I don't like knowing that you have to stay here on your own."

Theo clicked his tongue and levelled Neville with a stern gaze. "Don't be ridiculous." He chided, walking across the room to his brewing bench to check on the Dreamless Sleep potion he had started working on the night before. "Of course you want to go. It'll be nice. You'll have Christmas with your family and you won't have to sneak around and worry about being caught by the Carrow's for once."

He said all this while pretending to go over a list of ingredients for his potions, worried that if he faced Neville he would give away how much he would love for him to stay.

"I know…" Neville sighed. "But two weeks feels like such a long time. I mean.. Can you remember the last time we didn't see each other for that long?"

Theo couldn't remember. Because even when they'd had that horrible fight several weeks ago, the stubborn silence between them had barely lasted a whole week. To think that he wouldn't be able to see Neville's smile for fourteen whole days… to not feel the warmth radiating off him, or look into his eyes when he told Theo about one of his many Herbology projects and watch them light up with excitement… it made Theo's heart ache and his throat feel tight and…Gods, it just sounded awful.

"It'll be fine." He insisted, scrubbing a rough hand through his hair, before finally facing the sullen Gryffindor. "We'll have the notebooks. We can stay in touch that way."

"I guess." Neville grumbled. "But it's not the same."

Theo shrugged. "It's better than nothing. And anyway…" He tried not to sound bitter as he forced out his next words: "You never know. You might be so busy with your family that you won't even have the time to waste any thoughts on me."

"Never!" Neville argued, looking defiant all of a sudden. "I'll be busy, sure. But I'm used to seeing you almost daily now and I… well, I'll miss that. I'll miss you, Theo."

Theo swallowed hard. Sometimes Neville made it incredibly difficult for him to ignore his feelings and pretend that they were just friends. He was just so…intense sometimes. Maybe being so nice was normal for Gryffindors. Maybe they all went about showing their affections so openly. But to Theo this was all new. He was definitely not used to being treated like that and, despite his efforts at ignoring his own feelings, he found it increasingly difficult to not read anything into it.

But he couldn't allow himself such far-fetched fantasies. It wouldn't do either of them good for him to…well…hope.

And yet, despite knowing all that, he just couldn't resist. Neville had, after all, set this up so beautifully for him:

"Maybe I should've enchanted mirrors instead of notebooks then." He said, forcing his voice into a playful, almost cheeky tone and winked at him. "If you're so fond of looking at me."

Good grief! He was actually flirting with him, wasn't he?

No. He was just joking. …right? Just a little bit of banter between friends.

To his relief Neville laughed, the bright, cheerful sound sending a rush of butterflies to Theo's stomach, but the moment was rather short, when Neville suddenly gasped and clutched his hand to his ribs, his face contorted with pain.

"What's wrong?" Theo asked, swiftly crossing the room and squatting down in front of the boy, eyes travelling searchingly across his scrunched-up face. "Are you hurt?"

"I'm fine." Neville huffed, but winced when he was trying to readjust his position. "Ugh, ouch!" He groaned, his hand flying back up to his side. "This sucks!"

"What the fuck! You are hurt!" Theo observed, a mixture of anger and worry coursing through him.

"It's nothing." Neville insisted. "Just a bit of bruising."

"Show me!" Theo demanded, nodding toward the point where Neville's hand was still clutching his side.

Neville shook his head. "I'm fine. Honestly."

"I don't believe you." Theo stated bluntly, as he pulled his wand out and pointed it threateningly at Neville. "And now show me, or I'll vanish your shirt myself."

Neville's expression was defiant, and for a moment Theo thought he would actually have to spell Neville's clothes off his back to drive home his point, but the moment only lasted briefly before the Gryffindor let out a defeated sigh and began to unbutton his shirt. Theo gasped when he finally revealed what had been ailing him. His entire left side, all the way from his armpit down to his hip, was covered in deep-purple and black bruises.

"What the fuck?" Theo squawked, gaping at the offensive sight in horror.

"I'm fine. Really." Neville insisted, trying to pull his shirt back up, but Theo was faster, grasping his hand and stopping him from covering up.

"What, are you crazy?" He chided, shaking his head weakly. "You're not fine, Neville! How did this happen? Who did this to you?"

"It's nothing." Neville kept insisting. "I just fell awkwardly, okay?"

"Fell awkwardly." Theo repeated, incredulous. "Don't be stupid. No one hurts themselves like this by just 'falling'. What did you land on? A troll's fist?"

At that Neville snorted, but seemed to instantly regret it when he flinched in pain again, a sharp gasp escaping his lungs as he tried to adjust into a more comfortable position.

"No." He said, after a moment of laboured breathing. "I was duelling Alecto Carrow. She managed to hit me with some sort of dark curse and it hurled me through the air and made me slam into the wall on the other side of the room."

"She did what?" Theo exclaimed, a sudden rush of panic sweeping through him. With trembling hands, he began to examine Neville more closely, searching for any indication that the reckless Gryffindor might be suffering from something much more sinister than the bruises. "What kind of curse was it?" He asked. "Are you okay? Are you experiencing any strange side effects?"

"I'm fine!" Neville cut him off, a hint of amusement in his voice. "I promise. I've been using Dittany on the bruises and they're already getting better. Only thing is I think I might have cracked my ribs, which hurts like hell."

"Those bruises were even worse?" Theo cast another horrified look at them, before he jumped up and walked over to his potions bench.

"You bloody…stubborn… git." He grumbled under his breath, as he began to rummage through the bottles on top of the cluttered worktop. "How am I supposed to help you, if you don't tell me that you're hurt?"

"I didn't want to upset you." Neville offered cagily.

"Well, I'm upset now." Theo bit back, anger flaring in his chest. This was exactly the kind of situation he had been practising his healing magic for and Neville knew that. He should have known that Theo would have wanted to help.

Grabbing a small ceramic pot and a vial filled with a swirling, orange liquid, he stomped back over to the sofa and dropped onto his knees.

"Here." He groused, thrusting the small bottle into Neville's hand. "Drink that."

"What is it?" The other wizard asked warily, but upon Theo's glowering gaze quickly relented and poured the entirety of the potion down his throat in one big gulp.

"Argh!" He gasped, eyes wide, as the magic of the potion came into effect. Theo knew by the way the Gryffindor's face and ears had flushed that it was working. It was one of the better pain-relief potions he had found during his research, but he knew from careful and extensive testing on himself that the orange liquid felt like an inferno of flames rushing through your veins before it alleviated any pain.

"That's better." Neville sighed, already looking much more comfortable. "Thank you."

"I'm not done yet." Theo insisted, shaking his head. "Lie down and put your arm above your head. I'm going to have to fix your ribs before we can deal with those bruises."

"What!?" Neville's face quickly morphed from relief to downright panic. "N-no Theo. It's fine. I'm sure they'll heal by them—"

"I know what I'm doing." Theo cut him off. "I promise."

When Neville still looked unconvinced, he added a soft. "Trust me?"

Neville hesitated, uncertainty etched into his features and lips pressed into a contemplative line, until he finally gave in, let out a defeated sigh and nodded.

"Alright." he said, tenderly sliding into a lying position and stretching out across the entire length of the sofa. "If you're sure."

"I'm sure." Theo confirmed, face set with determination, as he got back up onto his feet and leaned over Neville, hand gripping his wand so tightly that his knuckles stood out white. He had practised this spell what felt like hundreds of times, but never on a living being. Ignoring the erratic thudding of his heart, he forced himself to take several deep breaths, before he directed all his focus on Neville's bruised side.

"Cavea Thoracis Emendo." He cast, tracing a complicated pattern with his wand that was vaguely reminiscent of a Celtic Dara Knot. He could feel his magic course through him, a warm, soothing tingle that started from somewhere deep within his core and filled his entire body with a low, buzzing hum, as he slowly pushed it outwards, through his hand into his wand towards Neville.

There was a sharp intake of breath coming from Neville, followed by a string of hissed curse words, and Theo didn't blame him. It must hurt to get your bones reset by magic; but Theo didn't budge. He kept pushing his magic into him, gently, but persistently; his brows furrowed and jaw clenched as he repeated the movement over and over again until the worst bruising had dissipated and Neville's breathing had levelled out into a slow and even rhythm.

Casting another quick diagnostic charm and feeling satisfied with the results, he gave a curt nod, he let himself drop back onto his heels, exhausted, but immensely pleased with himself.

Healing was a taxing branch of magic. It could really take it out of you and weaken your magical core temporarily.

"Better?" He asked, after taking a couple of seconds to catch his breath.

"Immensely." Neville nodded. There was an odd look on his face that Theo couldn't quite place, but it made him feel uneasy. Almost like Neville had seen something in him that he'd never considered before…as if, by sharing so much of his magic with the boy, he laid himself bare in front of him; allowed him to view his innermost secrets…

"Well, good." he said, trying not to shudder at the thought of any of his secrets being revealed; particularly the ones that involved Neville himself.

"It already looks much better." He added, decidedly not meeting Neville's gaze, as he reached for the ceramic pot he had brought from his potions bench and opened it with trembling fingers. "...but I'll put some of this on anyway."

He scooped up a big dollop of the ointment with his finger and was instantly hit by a strong scent that was vaguely reminiscent of lush pine forests and the soothing aroma of freshly brewed sage tea with a hint of lemon.

"Arnica?" Neville asked with intrigue, trying to sit up.

Theo tried not to roll his eyes in affectionate amusement. Of course, the plant loving Gryffindor would have recognised the scent immediately.

"Yes." He confirmed, before pushing the boy back into the sofa cushions with a warning scowl. "I'll let you look at it later. Right now, I need you to stay down."

Neville obliged, but not without raising an eyebrow at him first, the corners of his lips twitching with amusement at his friend's bossy tone. Theo countered the expression with a narrow-eyed glare, before he began to apply the ointment to the leftover bruises on Neville's side in big, circular motions; desperately trying to ignore the way each single contact with the wizard's smooth skin sent sparks of longing surging from his fingertips all the way up his arms and down his spine.

'Focus!' — he thought chidingly. This was not the time to think about the fact that the boy he'd been harbouring a crush for was lying half exposed in front of him and was letting him touch him.

Doubling his efforts to appear confident and characteristically unfazed — like the cool and collected Slytherin he should be — he slammed down his mental walls and shut every other thought out of his mind, focusing entirely on the circular motion of his finger tips, as they worked the pungent salve into Neville's bruised skin.

He was so concentrated, that he didn't even notice when the other wizard's hand began to move, until his fingers were already in Theo's ruckus curls, carefully brushing them back from where they had fallen into his face.

The touch was so sudden and unexpected that it caused him to flinch, a sharp intake of breath filling his lungs, as his hand momentarily froze.

Heart thudding, he shot Neville a quizzical look and was met with that same strange and almost searching expression from earlier. His stomach swooped. What in Merlin's name was Neville doing? Maybe the pain potion had gone to his head? Theo had heard that some pain potions could make one feel drowsy or pleasantly buzzed, but he'd never had experienced any of those side-effects with this particular concoction when he had tested it.

"What?" He demanded, when Neville's searching gaze had become too much for him to bear. "There something in my face?

At that, Neville nodded with an almost dopey smile, but then pinched his eyebrows as he seemed to rethink his reaction and shook his head, looking confused.

'Right then…' Theo thought. 'Definitely tipsy from the potion."

"It's nothing…" Neville murmured, a breathy, almost gravelly quality to his voice. "It's just…you looked so serious. So…worried." He repeated the motion of his hand, slowly dragging his fingers through Theo's hair and letting his nails scratch gently across his scalp.

Theo shuddered at the sensation, his mouth going dry.

"Well, I was concentrating." He countered, peeling his eyes away from Neville's intense gaze in favour of scooping up more Arnica cream and continuing its administration, forcing himself to ignore the way the wizard's fingers were still brushing through his curls. — It was harder than it should be. His whole body felt rigid and uncomfortably hot, and he couldn't decide whether he wanted to lean into Neville's touch, or jump up and storm out of the room. Neither option seemed sensible, so he kind of just froze in place and continued to diligently rub salve onto Neville's skin.

"And…I'm still annoyed with you for not telling me about this sooner." He added as an afterthought. More just to cut through the awkward silence than because he actually meant it.

At that Neville smiled — actually smiled — up at him. As if annoying Theo was one of his big goals in life, and he had finally achieved it. Come to think of it, that might actually have been the case. He had been unusually infuriating lately, but Theo had attributed this to himself feeling overly sensitive at the moment (what with him trying to get over his crush for the handsome Gryffindor and all) rather than Neville having become more irritating.

"You know you can't stay annoyed with me much longer, right?" Neville said, a smug grin spreading on his face. He was still caressing Theo's hair, either ignoring or being completely oblivious to Theo's inner turmoil.

"Try me." Theo challenged.

This finally made Neville drop his hand, and Theo wasn't sure whether he was relieved or disappointed at the loss of touch.

"I really mean it, Theo." He said, a small crease forming between his brows. "I'm leaving for our winter break tomorrow and…well…Gran always says 'Never part on an angry thought.'…especially in times like these when you don't know whether you'll see each other again."

A cold, foreboding sensation ran down Theo's spine, causing him to shiver slightly.

"Don't be ridiculous." He said, sounding sterner than he had aimed for. "You're going to stay with your grandma. Of course, we'll see each other again."

Neville seemed to contemplate that for a moment.

"Well…I guess." He finally conceded, though clearly unconvinced. "But I'd still prefer it if you weren't angry with me when I leave."

He pushed himself up on his elbows, ignoring Theo's protesting growl, and looked him straight in the eye. "Come on, Theo…" He pleaded, eyes wide and demanding. "What do I have to do, for you to forgive me?"

Theo swallowed hard, his whole stomach filling with butterflies, as he stared into Neville's big, hazel eyes. They were so soft and….just…ridiculously beautiful. It honestly wasn't fair how much of an effect they had on him. He wanted to be annoyed with Neville, to sulk and grumble just a little bit longer, but it only took one look into those eyes and all his irritation instantly washed away.

"Nothing." he said with a defeated sigh, as he tore his gaze away from Neville's face. "It's fine."

He knew he didn't sound convincing, and Neville must have noticed too, because he seemed unusually insecure when he asked "You sure?"

Theo nodded, but didn't dare to look at Neville again.

His heart nearly stopped when Neville's hand found his face again, gently cupping his cheek and tilting his head, so he was forced to raise his gaze.

"Please, Theo." He muttered. "This is important to me. There has to be something I can do."

Theo's throat grew uncomfortably tight at the genuine distress in Neville's eyes; overcome with a sudden and intense urge to wipe that horrid, unusually tense expression off the boy's face. He opened his mouth to say something, but then closed it again, wracking his brain for something…anything… that would put his friend's mind at ease.

If he was entirely honest, he could think of a number of things Neville could do to get into Theo's good books again, — none of which were appropriate to ask from a friend.

'Don't leave!' He wanted to ask, 'Stay here with me… celebrate Christmas with me… just the two of us. …let me hold your hand when we walk down the castle corridors together. …let me kiss you while we warm up by the fire and drink hot cocoa… let me touch you, feel you…do unthinkable things to you.'

All of those thoughts were screaming in Theo's head, swirling in a chaotic mess and waiting — almost begging — to be spoken out loud.

But he couldn't.

Not to Neville. Not to his mate.

So instead, he heaved a deep sigh, cleared his throat and levelled the other wizard with a sharp gaze.

"Next time you get hurt." He said, voice firm and clear. "I want you to come straight to me and let me help you."

It took approximately two seconds for the message to sink in. Then, Neville blew out a relieved breath, his cheeks billowing in the process as he nodded eagerly.

"Okay." A small smile tugged at his lips. "I can do that."

"Good." Theo said with a curt nod, ignoring the way Neville's smile had made his heart clench. "That's sorted then."

There was a small, uncomfortable silence in which Theo finished applying ointment to Neville's skin and carefully closed the ceramic pot, feeling far too relieved that the task was finally done.

"All finished. How are you feeling?"

He watched — or rather tried to look without it coming across as ogling — as Neville pushed himself up, first into a seated position, then standing up fully and twisting left and right, his arms splayed out in the air and stretching them over his head to test out his newly-healed ribs. It was unfairly sexy… watching those strong muscles ripple and shift under the smooth, freshly healed skin.

"Feels good." He eventually concluded with a nod. "Thank you."

It was then that Neville looked down at Theo with a grateful smile, who suddenly became very aware of his position, kneeling on the floor in front of the tall Wizard and gazing up at him with big, awestruck eyes. Swallowing thickly, he tore his gaze away from him and scrambled up, eager to bring some distance between them.

"Yeah… uhm… sure." He murmured, feeling himself blush. "You're welcome."

'God's you really need to get a grip on this! You're his friend! So bloody behave like one!'

To his relief, Neville didn't seem to have picked up on Theo's strange behaviour, and let himself casually drop back onto the sofa, before snatching the pot of ointment off the floor.

"So… Arnica? Why didn't I think of that?" he said, unscrewing the lid and giving the salve an inquisitive sniff. "Would you mind if I had a look at the recipe?"

Theo smiled, relieved at the change of subject.

"Yeah, sure." He walked over to the potions bench and picked up his well-used recipe book, rather than summoning it, — partially because his magic still felt drained, but also to give him a second away from Neville to recover. "I wrote it all down in here."

He grabbed the book and moved back across the room towards the waiting wizard, relieved to find that the strange tension between them had completely subsided, as he let himself sink onto the sofa beside him.

This was okay. He could do discussions about potions ingredients and other academic talk with Neville, without feeling like he would lose his mind. It was safe. And so, without any further hesitation, he launched himself into a detailed summary of all his research on the topic, delighted to find that Neville was just as interested and enthusiastic about it as he was.

ooo

N: 'Thank you for today.
My ribs feel so much better.'

Theo almost let a scoff escape his lips as he read the messily scribbled message in his notebook. Of course, Neville would feel better after the amount of healing magic he'd pushed into him today, and Theo was glad for it; but honestly…how many times could one person thank someone for the same thing? Especially when it came to something so inexorable as this. Because really, there had been no way, not a single scenario that Theo could come up with, in which he wouldn't have insisted on healing Neville.

T: 'I told you, you don't have to thank
me for it. It was a good way for me to
practice my healing magic. Although
I'd much prefer it, if you don't get
yourself into a situation where you
will need it again.'

N: 'Hmm, I'll try. But I can't promise anything.' The cheeky reply came back, and Theo could almost hear Neville's voice as he read it, — amused and slightly challenging and a bit too offhandish for his own liking.

This time Theo really did let out an indignant scoff. Bloody Gryffindors! Completely incapable of assessing risks before throwing themselves headfirst into danger. Of course, Neville couldn't promise him to stay safe. He'd be lying if he did.

Theo's stomach squirmed a little at the thought of all the stupid things Neville could be getting up to over Christmas. And he wouldn't be anywhere near him to help if he got himself into trouble then.

Serves you right for getting attached to a bloody Gryffindor. He thought grimly, as he let himself sink back against the headboard of his bed with a dramatic sigh.

N: 'I can still feel your magic on
me, you know?'

Neville's next message read. And it was only then that Theo realised he had been too caught up in his internal monologue to reply to the last one.

N: 'It kind of left a…I don't know…
like a tingling sensation? It's all
over my left side and kind of inside
my chest too. It feels warm and
kind of… bright? I don't know if
that makes sense.'

Ah… yes that did make sense, actually. Healing charms always left a residue of the healer's magic on the patient. It could last up to a whole week depending on how strong the healing charm was. …And Theo had completely forgotten to tell Neville about this.

T: 'Oh, yes, I'm sorry!'

he scribbled hastily.

T: 'I should have warned you
about this. It's perfectly normal for
healing spells. It will probably take
a couple of days to wear off."

N: 'I don't think I want it to.
It feels…nice. Like I have a piece
of you here with me. Something
to take with me tomorrow.'

And there it was again. That pesky little flutter in Theo's stomach that always became unbearably strong when Neville said things like that. Because surely, platonic friends didn't say stuff like this to each other? The thought of Draco ever telling Theo he liked the feeling of his magic on him was completely absurd. And yet, Neville made comments like this all the time. It was almost as if he knew about Theo's crush on him and had decided to tease him and see how far he could take it until Theo finally cracked and admitted to his terribly inconvenient feelings for him.

Torn between the need to either start crying or scream into his pillow, Theo dragged a shaky hand through his tousled hair and looked back down at the small notebook.

N: 'Promise you'll write as often as you can?'

Another note had appeared, because Theo had, again, taken too long to reply to the last one.

He swallowed thickly and slammed a mental door shut on his increasingly difficult-to-ignore feelings, before finally writing a quick reply:

T: 'Yeah, of course!
I'll probably be bored out of my mind here,
so expect lots of pointless, whiny messages
about how I can't wait for things to go back
to normal over the next couple of weeks.'

N: 'Good.
I'm glad!
Not about you being bored out of your mind,
but about staying in touch while I'm gone.
I know I've said this already, but I'll miss you.'
Theo sighed, the doorknob on his mental door, — the one that he kept all his feelings shut behind, — rattling ominously.

T: 'Yeah, I'll miss you too.'

He admitted, smiling sadly, before muttering a quiet, barely there "You have no idea how much…"