Camelot

December, 508 AD

I woke up at some point during the middle of the night and turned my head towards Arthur just to find that he was wide awake, his eyes open to the size of plates as he stared at the ceiling. Though my movement caused him to turn and meet my gaze.

"Can't sleep?" I questioned in a tired mumble while scooting closer to him. He swiftly wrapped an arm around me and anchored me to his side before kissing the top of my head. I noticed that his flannel-covered chest seemed like a very comfortable pillow at the moment, so I moved to test my theory. It was correct.

"No," he responded with a sigh. "I keep thinking about that woman."

I swallowed a joke and asked, "The one you n' Merls saved?"

Merlin told me more about the incident when we had a moment alone. Apparently, she was a very elderly lady who'd almost been burnt at the pyre under charges of sorcery following a seemingly biased trial; but he and Arthur interfered before that could be completed and took her away from the village, allowing her to die peacefully in the forest.

To say I am proud of my King for having saved a magic person would be an understatement. And the story has filled me with hope that we may yet be able to sway him to accept some forms of magic back into Camelot.

"Yes… And more so… about the horn she gave us," he replied, his tone seeming hesitant.

"Ya' think it's legit?"

"I am not sure. But I am... tempted to find out," he confessed softly.

A puff escaped me. I've been thinking about it as well. But it sounds too good to be true. Situations like this one always backfire in the movies.

"A-am I crazy for thinking that, Astra?" he asked in a slightly shaky whisper. The vulnerability in his tone broke my heart and I moved so that I could look him in the eyes. They were glistening under the faint moonlight that filtered through the window.

"Of course not," I answered while grabbing one of his hands and I pressed a kiss to his knuckles. "You'd be crazy not to think about it."

"I should not do it, though, right?" he posed. "I-it is magic. It is dangerous."

"Well, y'know I think that magic's more nuanced than that," I noted. "It's the ghost part I'd be worried about. Our experiences with those haven't been very fun."

He breathed out a "Yeah..."

"Maybe this is different, though, 'cause you'd be contacting a specific person," I added.

Arthur gave me a confused look. "So what do you think I should do?"

"It's your decision, Artie. I don't wanna take this chance away from you if it's what you want, but I don't wanna tell you to do it if you're not sure," I told him softly. "I'll support you no matter what you choose."

He scoffed in what seemed like disbelief, a small smile formed on his lips, and he placed a gentle hand on my cheek. "You are a dream come true, did you know that?"

My insides melted and I swallowed thickly while my eyes widened. The guilt from everything I am still keeping secret from him suddenly hit me like a piano falling out of a window. Not wanting him to notice my change in mood, I kissed his cheek and moved to curl up beside him again.

"A good dream, I hope," I whispered.

"The best."

I don't deserve him.

I could feel Merlin's glare on the side of my face while I carefully placed my saddle pad on Dallas's back. I know that my brother is displeased with the turn of events, as Arthur decided that he will be trying the magic horn after all; but there's nothing I can do about it. Well, I could tell him not to do it, but I don't want to.

"Somethin' interesting on my face, buddy?" I asked when I grew annoyed as he followed me with his stare while I went to retrieve my horse's saddle.

"We are going to the Stones of Nemeton, are we not?" he inquired.

"Yup."

"Did you know he was planning to do this?"

"I knew he was thinking about it," I responded with a shrug. "Now he's made his decision."

Merlin scoffed, "How can you be so calm about this?"

"Obviously, I'm not thrilled with the prospect of having another ghost problem," I said as I gave him a pointed glance, "but I promised Artie that I'd support him no matter what."

"This is a bad idea," he muttered.

"Probably," I agreed with a slight nod before returning my attention to tacking up Dallas.

I got another disapproving look, but he said nothing else as he moved his full focus to securing his bag behind Falcon's saddle.

Arthur arrived on scene only a minute or so later, his handsome features pensive as he walked slowly. I kissed the side of Dallas's head before moving over to my King and wrapping my arms around his waist. "You okay?" I asked in a whisper.

He returned the hug and rested his chin atop my head. "Yes. I have faith that everything will turn out fine," he responded – not sounding too sure as his voice shook a little, but I didn't call him out on it.

"Whatever happens, I'm here for you," I told him before reaching up to kiss him.

I heard my brother scoff, but decided to ignore it.

"Thank you, my love," Arthur responded before giving my body a gentle squeeze and letting go so he could walk over to Tequila. "Is he ready?" he asked Merlin.

"Yeah," the latter grumbled, then he went to get a wooden stool so that the King could reach his saddle without twisting the equine's spine.

I kinda felt as if I were living in a novel by a Brontë sister for a minute as we cantered across the snow-capped moors. The afternoon sky was slightly foggy, not allowing for a clear view of our surroundings from afar; and the absence of chirping birds and cricketing bugs gave the atmosphere a layer of sombreness that seemed fitting – considering that Arthur is about to purposely summon a ghost.

My King decided that the horses deserved a rest from doing cardio and he slowed down Tequila, which silently instructed Falcon and Dallas to come down to a walk as well.

The wind whistled as it blew against my face, and it caused the dried flakes of grass that peeked out from underneath the few centimetres of snow to sway with a whooshing sound.

"I'm getting a very bad feeling about this place," Merlin broke the silence in a wary tone.

I bit down on my bottom lip, knowing that his magical sixth sense must not be ignored. But I still refuse to speak out against Arthur's wish to see his dad's ghost, so I kept silent and simply gave Merlin a sympathetic look.

"That is because you are a coward," my King responded, not once glancing back as he continued to steer his horse across the lands.

"No –" Merlin spat as he prompted Falcon to catch up with Tequila, "it is because I value my life and I don't want to die horribly."

"Fair point," Arthur conceded with a slight nod before setting out in a trot again.

My brother sent me a questioning glance and I shrugged in response. He rolled his eyes and sped up Falcon once more. "So are we going to turn back?" he asked the King.

"No."

Merlin scoffed and turned to me again. "Are you really going to let him do this?"

"It's his choice, dude," I responded, now feeling slightly annoyed. "Stop acting like you haven't thought about it, too."

He glared at me, but didn't say anything else and silence befell us once more.

Some two hours later, we arrived at a place that looks a lot like Stonehenge. For all I know, it could be just that. I actually have no idea where in the UK Camelot is, exactly... But the thought of visiting a place I've visited in my own time sounds fun, so let's pretend that the 'Stones of Nemeton' and 'Stonehenge' are the same thing, shall we?

We dismounted our horses a fair distance away from the structure and left them there to graze before continuing on foot.

"You are really going to use it?" Merlin questioned the King as we walked. I hate the fact that I'm not on his side this time! We're always on the same side! But I can't turn my back on Arthur on this.

"This will be the only chance I will have to see my father again," my King responded, his voice clad with determination. "I cannot let it pass."

"This is powerful magic," my brother reminded him.

Arthur stopped walking and turned to face him. "My father was taken from me before his time. Now, there is not a day that passes when I do not think of the things I wish I had said to him," he stated with a tinge of emotion in his voice. My heart clenched. "If you were given the same chance, to see your father, talk to him, would you not do the same?"

I looked down and sighed, feeling the question hitting me hard even if it was aimed at Merlin. Would it be insane if I asked to have a go after Arthur's done?

My brother simply nodded in response, and that seemed to be enough for the King as he turned around and kept advancing.

A minute later, we made it to the stones and Arthur took a deep breath before turning to face us again. Or rather, me. He seemed a bit scared.

"You okay?" I asked while closing the distance between us and reaching up to put a hand on his cheek.

He closed his eyes for a few moments and leaned into my touch. Then he nodded. "Yes. I have to do this."

"All right, then," I responded and stood on my toes so that I could give him a quick kiss. "Just promise you'll come back alive and in one piece?"

He kissed my forehead before replying, "Of course. Everything will be fine, my love."

And with that, he pulled the horn out of a bag he'd been carrying and moved to the centre of the stone circle while Merlin and I remained outside the perimeter. He casted one last look towards us before blowing the horn and, in an instant, a blinding white light appeared. He walked into it without hesitation, promptly disappearing. In the blink of an eye, it was as if he hadn't ever been here.

I remained still for a few seconds, feeling stunned at the craziness of the situation. Then a fun thought crossed my mind and I tilted my head before looking up at my brother, "That's kinda like what the time-machine does, isn't it?"

He also tilted his head as he responded, "I suppose."

I bit down on my bottom lip and turned over the question that was begging to leave my mouth, pondering whether I should voice it or stay silent. I know he won't be too happy to hear it, but I need to know. So I finally asked, "D'ya think that spirits are fixed in time? Or could they... maybe... transcend it?"

Merlin's eyes widened. "Are you thinking about going in there as well?!"

I simply gave a shrug in response.

"Astra," he said sternly while shaking his head in disapproval, making me sigh.

"Maybe. I dunno. I mean... if this doesn't backfire for Arthur..." I gulped and lowered my voice to where it was barely audible, "would it really be so bad to try to see my parents?"

His features softened and he grabbed my hand before asking gently, "Do you think they would be happy to see where you ended up?"

"That's the thing, I don't think anything," I confessed while averting my gaze and starting to roll around a rock with my foot (which was still kinda sore, but don't tell anyone). "I mean, I hope they would be. But... I don't know. All I have are a couple of pictures. And, well, I know that my dad was a history professor, so maybe he'd be amused that his daughter ended up marrying a freaking legend... Or maybe he hated monarchy and would hate to see me now. And my mom... I don't really know anything about her. I never asked, and my Uncle and Aunt didn't talk about her much 'cause, y'know, their relation was to my dad." I sighed and sat down on the ground. "So... would it really be so bad if I wanted to contact them?"

Merlin remained quiet for a minute or two and he also moved to sit, wrapping an arm around my shoulders. Finally, he replied in a whisper, "No. I do not think it would be bad."

I gave him a small, grateful grin and then rested my head against his shoulder. We stayed silent after that as we waited for Arthur to return.

The blinding white light reappeared not much later and it spit out the mighty King of Camelot before vanishing again. I instantly scrambled to my feet and scanned his figure, taking note of his slumped shoulders, avoidant gaze, and reddened eyes.

"Artie?" I called out softly while taking a few steps towards him. He sped up the last few strides and wrapped me in a tight hug as he dropped his head to the crook of my neck. I could feel his body tremble ever so slightly. I half-rounded his torso with one arm while my other hand moved to gently comb his hair.

I took a glance at Merlin, who seemed puzzled, and gave him a sad look before returning my attention to Arthur and kissing the side of his head.

The ridiculously short winter daylight hours forced us to make camp in the forest not long after we started riding back to Camelot; and Merlin and I teamed up to look after the horses and cook something with the stuff that Gaius packed for us while my King sat on a log and contemplated the campfire. He hasn't said a word since the stones and my stomach churned every time I looked at his heartbroken expression.

Obviously, his trip to the spirit world wasn't a pleasant one, and now I kinda wanna re-kill Uther in revenge for making him sad.

My brother and I served three bowls of the lacklustre stew we made and I passed one onto Arthur before settling down beside him with my own.

Once we were done eating, Merlin graciously gathered the utensils and shuffled away to rinse them in a nearby creek before returning them to one of the bags we brought and sitting down again.

We made eye contact and then he made a subtle nodding motion towards Arthur, who remained still and quiet with a faraway look on his handsome face. I shook my head and nodded at Merlin. He gave me a stern look and nodded back at me. I narrowed my eyes at him and discreetly raised my fist in a silent challenge for a game of 'rock, paper, scissors' (which I taught him at some point). He rolled his eyes, but granted my request and mouthed 'One, two, three,' before we both shot our plays. I smirked in triumph when my scissors beat his paper.

He sighed and cleared his throat before addressing Arthur, "Do you want to talk about it?"

The King looked up from whatever trance he'd locked himself in while staring at the ground and gave a questioning look.

"What happened at the Stones?" Merlin asked.

Arthur sighed and averted his gaze as he responded, "It seems my father does not approve of the way I have chosen to rule his kingdom."

"You mean your kingdom," "It's your kingdom now," Merlin and I corrected at the same time.

My King seemed puzzled for a moment as his eyes darted between the both of us, then he shrugged and gave a slight nod. I nudged his side and earned a glance as he draped an arm over my shoulders.

"The things he said about the knights... about the people we have chosen to surround ourselves with..." Arthur continued after a few moments. "What if he is right? What if I have weakened Camelot?"

I felt a pang in my chest and looked down while gulping. If anything has weakened Camelot, I'm it. In place of a queen, it has a crazy girl from the twenty-first century who lost her mind just a couple of months into the job and almost got herself killed in a wild quest to save a dragon... We saved the dragon, though.

"At least he is glad that I married you, Astra," Arthur spoke again, causing my jaw to drop as my eyes shot towards him once more. "Though he is not happy that you have taken Guinevere as an advisor."

"Shocker," I mumbled under my breath.

"You have not weakened Camelot," Merlin cut in, his eyes fixed on my King. "You've always done what you believe to be right. People respect you. Both of you."

"Thank you, Merlin," Arthur responded, barely sparing him a glance.

I could tell he didn't quite believe his words and I sighed. It hurts so much to see him doubting himself again. All thanks to the stupid ghost of a lousy excuse for a king. No matter how well I sort of got along with Uther on a personal level, I believe it's an objective fact that he wasn't the best ruler. He brought so much pain and fear to so many people, and Arthur has done a great job in gradually starting to undo that.

"Some people still think you are a foolish, arrogant ass," my brother threw in with a bit of a smirk.

I narrowed my eyes at him and flung a small pebble his way, taking care not to actually hit him, as I scolded, "Dude, c'mon." He chuckled.

"Very funny," Arthur said as he rolled his eyes.

"Well, I'm beat," I stated while standing up and stretching, then I moved towards my duffel bag, which lay on the floor, and pulled out my sleeping bag – a new, thermal one that Oliver and Leo sent over along with Arthur's birthday stuff. No matter how much my former classmate tries to deny it, he and the little time-machine are kind of like Amazon.

"Yes, we should all get some sleep," my King agreed and moved to lie down on the sleeping bag as soon as I was done rolling it out. My first instinct was to complain about the invasion of space. Then I remembered that we're freaking married and that I actually enjoy sleeping next to him.

"G'night. Love ya' both," I told my boys as I curled up beside Arthur.