CHAPTER EIGHT

"This is incredible!" Artie shouted as he gunned the Jeep's accelerator, kicking up a massive cloud of dust. Agent Chin sat next to him while West sat in the back, holding onto his hat so it wouldn't fly off. "The last time I drove a car, they couldn't go nearly as fast!"

"Do you have to go so fast, Artie?" he asked. "You're going to kill us!"

"So what? We died once already!"

"But I didn't!" Chin noted. "Will you slow down, please?"

"Oh, all right." Artie pumped the brakes, allowing the Jeep to decelerate and come to a gentle stop.

"Thank you," breathed a visibly shaken Chin. "Give me a heart attack, already." She pulled a pack of Camels out of her handbag and lit one.

Artie asked, "How many cigarettes do you smoke in a day?"

"Not nearly enough," exhaling luxuriantly.

From the back, West said, "Artie and I always smoked cigars."

"Cigar smoke is harsh. You can only taste it. But with cigarettes, I can draw the smoke deep into my lungs — where it belongs." She demonstrated with a drag that seemed to consume half the Camel. Speaking as she exhaled, "Unfortunately, I have to let it go after a few seconds—but that's what the next drag is for."

Artie noted, "Sounds like you spend as much thinking about smoking as you spend doing it."

"I guess." Having finished after four lengthy inhales, Chin emitted a series of smoke rings and flicked the unfiltered butt onto the desert sand. "I like smoking even better than sex!"

Artie, taken aback, reacted with a cough.

Chin giggled. "I do have a knack for shocking you, don't I?"

"You're an outspoken young woman," he observed.

West said, "Perhaps you haven't had the right kind of sex."

She turned to face him with a half-grin. "Is that an invitation, Mr. West?"

"Is that an acceptance, Miss Chin?"

Pausing, she answered, "I'd better not. I'm open to lots of things, but not necrophilia."

"Ouch!" Artie exclaimed. To West, "That's got to hurt, old friend."

"It's certainly not flattering." West quickly changed the subject. "We should discuss the mission, though. Where do we begin our search for Loveless?"

"Since he likes to gamble," said Artie, "I say we check the casinos."

xxx

After Agent Chin dropped them off at the Golden Nugget, West and Artie searched the place. They did not, however, see Miguelito Loveless III. They tried showing a photograph, but none of the guests recognized him — although several employees did. They advised the agents that he had not been around lately, and that his games of choice were blackjack and poker.

"If we see him playing," West told Artie, "I'll join the game."

"Then I'll watch at first, and join after a few hands. But first, I'll head up the room a slip into a disguise."

"Is that necessary?"

"Let's find out." Artie disappeared upstairs and re-emerged a half-hour later decked out in denim cowboy garb, complete with a ten-gallon hat. He had also donned a thick black mustache.

They found Loveless playing poker at the Northern Club, while manager Bugsy Siegel watched from a respectful distance. Loveless shared the table with one other gambler, a serious-looking bald man of about sixty. A cigarette, whose ash desperately needed flicking, hung from his lips.

Initially, Loveless was too busy staring at his cards to notice that West had sat across from him — or that a disguised Artemus stood nearby as well.

The dealer said, "Hello, sir! Good to have you with us."

"Thank you." He offered his hand, which the dealer shook. "Jim West."

That was when Loveless looked up, his facial expression no more discernible than when he had stared at his cards. "I think I've heard of you."

"It's a common name."

"But mine isn't. Miguelito Loveless III."

"You don't say?"

"Perhaps you've heard of me?"

"Perhaps."

"You know my name, look up the number."

Sensing tension between the two, the dealer intervened. "Shall we start the next hand, gentlemen?"

West examined his cards and rejected two, which the dealer replaced. Loveless opted for three new ones while the remaining player, who said nothing, stayed with what he had. They each placed chips on the table, while the third man did not up the ante.

When the men showed their cards, Loveless had two fours and two tens. West smiled and laid down his own cards, revealing the seven through jack of hearts. "Straight beats two pair."

The third man showed five cards, none of which matched.

"Well done, Mr. West." Loveless slid his chips over to the agent.

"Thank you, but the game has just begun."

"You couldn't be more correct."

The third player won the next hand with three sevens, to the well wishes of both West and Loveless. He smiled and humbly accepted their congratulations, but still did not speak.

Artie approached the table and spoke in a blustery Texas accent. "Evenin' gents! Mind if I sit in?"

"Please do, sir," the dealer said cheerfully. "Everyone's money is good here."

Artie sat down and regarded the other bettors. "How you fellas doin'? Name's Clarence Carter, but folks call me Tex."

"Let me guess," West said. "You're from Texas."

"Hoo-wee! It's that obvious, huh?"

They both laughed. "I'm Jim West."

Loveless chimed in, "Tex, is it?"

"Sure as the Lone Star State is the finest place on this here planet!"

"Miguelito Loveless III."

"Whoo, doggies! Ain't that a mouthful?"

Loveless suggested, "Shall we play, gentlemen?"

The bald man said spoke for the first time. "Best idea I've heard all night!"

"Ah, the games people play now. Every night and every day now. Never meaning what they say now. Never saying what they mean."

The other three exchanged puzzled looks.

The game went on, with none of the players getting far ahead. The bald man eventually folded and left the table. After a few more hands, "Tex" proclaimed, "This ain't like Texas Hold 'em. I'm done." He walked away but stayed nearby.

Loveless said, "Now it's just you and I, Mr. West."

"As it always has been."

"Just the two of us, we can make it if we try. Just the two of us, you and I."

And so the game continued, eating up the night. A crowd gathered and eventually, the third-shift dealer took over. Still, the men played.

At 1:45 in the morning, a sweaty, exhausted-looking Loveless anted all he had and laid four queens on the table. "Four of a kind, Mr. West."

The agent, looking equally as haggard, gave a dry laugh. "Straight flush, Mr. Loveless."

West showed his hand: the three, four, five, six and seven of diamonds. The still-considerable crowed gave a collective gasp and cheered the agent's luck.

Miguelito's mouth went agape. "This must be a joke."

"I never joke about cards."

A vanquished Loveless pushed his every last chip across the table. "Mr. West, I thank you for an exhilarating match."

"And I thank you, Doctor. I suspect this was but our first encounter."

"You can make book on that. We'll meet again, don't know where, don't know when, but I know we'll met again some sunny day."

The dealer handed West a bucket, into which the agent scooped his considerable winnings. As he made his way to the cashier's cage, a still-disguised Artemus joined him. "Is it just me, or do his speech patterns imply song lyrics?"

"They're no songs I've ever heard," West replied.

"You know you can't keep that money."

"Of course not! It all goes to Washington. In the meantime, we put in the safe at Headquarters. I'd suggest tailing Loveless, but I'm asleep on my feet."

"I can imagine. I got tired just watching the game."

"Besides, Amanda's got the Jeep."

xxx

Loveless remained at the table, outwardly calm as he reflected on the night's events. The manager approached him.

"Mr. Loveless, I am so sorry! You never lose that big."

"Not to worry, Mr. Siegel. I never bet more than I can afford. You've got to know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em, know when to walk away, know when to run."

"I can get your money back, you know. I'll have two or three of the boys hit him outside with baseball bats."

"No, no. That wouldn't be right. It was an honest game; West won it fairly."

Siegel smiled in rapt admiration. "Mr. Loveless, you've got a strong code of honor."

"Yes. If only more people did."

NOTE: You may have noticed that I did not provide a detailed description of Miguelito Loveless III. That was intentional as I would like you to use your imagination.