CHAPTER TWELVE

West taunted the guard, "Why don't you let me out of here so we can settle this like men?"

"Sorry, no. Doc wouldn't like that at all."

"And of course, you do whatever 'Doc' tells you. Easier than thinking for yourself, isn't it?"

"Doc doesn't pay me to think."

"Just as well. He'd fire you for dereliction of duty."

The guard ignored that. "If I was you, I'd save my breath. Ain't a whole lot of air in that thing."

Before West could reply, the guard emitted an anguished gasp. His eyes opened wide, and he fell from the chair. A startled West and Artie saw a knife protruding from his upper back. A moment later, a second guard slammed into the side of the jar, having apparently been flung. The jar turned over on its side, taking West and Artie with it. However, the glass remained intact.

The agents looked up at their savior, who stood with hands on hips and who grinned widely. "What did I say at the restaurant? I could end up saving your asses."

Artemus cut loose with an exuberant laugh. "Amanda! I knew you weren't a traitor."

She dropped the men's gun belts and various gadgets next to the jar.

A visibly relieved West asked, "Can you unscrew the lid?"

She knelt next to them. "No. It took a machine to screw it on. But there's something else I can try." She opened a hidden compartment on her belt and removed a ball of plastic explosive with a fuse attached to it. "Loveless told me the glass was impenetrable, but he never said that about the lid." She applied the explosive to the lid, produced a cigarette lighter, and ignited the fuse. West and Artie retreated to the far end of the jar and got into the fetal position, while Chin backed away herself. The resulting explosion produced a bright flash and a cloud of white smoke, but the lid remained intact.

"Dammit," she spat. "All right, guys, I'm going to Plan B."

Chin retreated to the far end of the room, turned around, and ran at the jar like an out-of-control locomotive. When Chin was about five feet away, she emitted a feral yell and jumped at the lid feet first. Her soles pushed through the metal top and created a gaping hole through which the young woman landed inside the jar. West and Artie grabbed the sides of the hole and widened it, allowing them all to escape.

As the men put on their gun belts, Chin told them, "That plane's going to take off really soon."

"How do we stop it?" Artie wondered.

West snapped his fingers. "The Bazooka! If we catch up to the plane, maybe I can shoot a hole in its side."

As they made their way toward the exit, West and Artie eyed a number of guards lying prostrate.

"You?" West asked Chin.

"Who else?"

Outside, the plane slowly turned around and began to taxi down the runway. Artie got behind the wheel of the Jeep, Chin climbed into the passenger's seat, and West sat in back to arm the Bazooka. Artie started the engine, shifted into gear, and floored the accelerator.

"Whoa!" West yelped. "Be careful! I almost fell out."

"You want to catch that plane or not?"

As the Jeep neared the runway, West barked, "Get as close to it as you can!"

"Great minds think alike, Jim!"

The Jeep was now on the runway, though at a considerable distance behind the plane, which was still getting up to speed. Gradually but consistently, Artie closed the gap. The Jeep now raced side by side with the plane.

West, on one knee, placed the Bazooka on his shoulder, carefully took aim, pulled the trigger, and yelled, "Go!"

Artie cut the wheel to the left, and the Jeep zoomed from the plane. A heartbeat later, the Earth trembled as the aircraft blew up in a massive ball of orange flame and ebony smoke. It shot straight up into the air and came crashing down on one wing, which collapsed under the weight above it. Though now a good half-mile from the cataclysm, the agents felt the intense heat from it.

Artie said, "You must have hit the fuel tank, Jim."

An astonished Amanda Chin screamed, "Holy shit! That was fucking intense."

For once, her language did not offend Artie. If anything, he agreed with her.

xxx

Certain that no one, living or dead, could have survived the inferno, the agents returned to the mesa. Of the guards Amanda had felled, the ones who weren't dead were either injured or in sufficient pain that the fight had gone out of them.

Artie located a radiophone and contacted the authorities. Soon, the mesa would teem with firefighters, military personnel, members of the Clark County Sheriff's Office, and additional federal agents.

Once things had quieted down, West asked Amanda, "You were never really on Loveless' side, were you?"

"No, but I convinced him I was. I just appealed to his ego."

Artie chuckled. "Like grandfather, like grandson."

Chin explained, "I was really pissed off that he didn't warn me about those dead guys attacking us. But you know what scared me the most? What he did to his father! How demented can one man be?"

"Don't ask," said West.

"And another thing," said Chin. "Hitler's an asshole. I don't want him running the world."

Artie interjected, "What you said about those bigots taunting you and your father? It rang true."

"Oh, it was. But my parents taught me that if some people hate us, that's their problem, not ours. And besides, not everyone thinks that way."

"If you can even call it thinking," said Artie, an outspoken abolitionist in his day.

"It helps to know karate, too," Chin added.

xxx

After two days of debriefing, West and Artie were cleared to return to Washington. Agent Chin, who had retrieved her 1933 Chevrolet Eagle from the garage, drove them to Alamo Field. There, she gave them each a bear hug that belied her petite frame.

"I still can't believe I got to work with Jim West and Artemus Gordon!"

West placed a gentle hand on her left shoulder. "It was our pleasure, Amanda."

"Indeed, it was," Artie chimed in. "The Secret Service is clearly in capable hands!"

"So," she asked, "what's next for you guys? Back to exploring the universe?"

"I certainly hope so," said Artie.

xxx

Director Malone himself met them at Washington-Hoover Airport. During the drive, West queried, "Is this the way to your office?"

"No," Malone replied. "We have a stop to make on Pennsylvania Avenue. An important man wants to meet you gents."

The important man, of course, was President Franklin Roosevelt. Malone warned them that FDR had polio and wore braces on his legs. He further stated that this was not well-known information, and that the agents must keep it to themselves.

Artie shot back, "Who do you think we'll tell? St. Peter?"

In the Oval Office, the president stood in front of the Resolute Desk with his trademark smile and a cigarette holder clamped between his teeth.

"Mr. West! Mr. Gordon! It astounds me that we could meet."

West offered his right hand, which Roosevelt shook. "It's an honor, sir."

"Indeed, it is," Artie agreed with a handshake of his own.

"To think, you fought in the Civil War under General Grant. And here we are, meeting in 1939! Oh, but I must sound like an awestruck schoolboy. Please, have a seat."

They sat in chairs before the Resolute Desk, which Roosevelt sat behind. "Gentlemen, my briefings from Europe are more disturbing by the day. Hitler is the greatest threat to world peace we've seen in God knows how long. I fear the U.S. will have no choice but to enter the war. But at least that bastard can't raise the dead, and that's thanks to you two."

"Don't forget Agent Chin," West said.

"Oh, I haven't. Director Malone has promoted her to assistant director of the Los Angeles field office."

"Excellent!" This from Artie. "But may I ask a question, sir?"

"Please do," said Roosevelt.

"That elixir for bringing the dead back to life. You don't plan to use it?"

"Never," Roosevelt said with great conviction. "That formula is one of the most evil concoctions in the history of man. We've locked it away where nobody will get to it."

"That's a relief," Artie sighed.

Roosevelt added, "I must say, though, some of what they found in Loveless' hideout was remarkable. A handheld device that's simultaneously an adding machine, a telephone, a radio, a player of recorded music, and a vehicle for the receipt and transmission of video? And that's just one of his inventions! If only the Lovelesses had used their collective genius for the betterment of this world."

xxx

At Secret Service headquarters, Malone honored the agents' request to be free of their manufactured bodies. As West and Artie entered the room where their bodies had been stored, Malone said, "You know, it's called 'eternity' for a reason. You don't have to go back this minute."

"We'd prefer to," Artie said.

"But wouldn't you enjoy the attention of a lady?"

West turned to his partner. "He has a point, Artie." To Malone, "Do you know someone?"

"As a matter of fact…." Malone turned toward the doorway and motioned with one hand. Two women in their twenties, one blonde and one brunette, entered the room. They wore conservative office clothes, but that did not detract from their highly desirable features.

"James West, Artemus Gordon, meet Dorothy Lazar and Katherine Weatherby."

"Hello, ladies!" A smiling West approached Dorothy and kissed her hand. She giggled.

"They're from the steno pool," Malone advised the agents, "and they'd be happy to have dinner with you. Isn't that right, girls?"

"Oh, yes!" answered a grinning Katherine.

Artie took the lady's arm. "I'd say heaven can wait."