Chapter 21: Loud Borg
This chapter is a parody of the Spongebob episode- Krab Borg. Enjoy!
It's nighttime at the Loud House. Lincoln is in the living room watching a movie on TV.
"We now return to tonight's Creepy Time Theaters presentation of Night of the Robot." The announcer said. On the tv, a realistic man is getting chased by a claymation robot.
"Hurry Charles, the scary robot movie is on." Lincoln called.
Charles came and barked at Lincoln.
"What do ya mean I shouldn't watch this? Scary movies don't always freak me out."
Cut to Lincoln in his bed. He is now terrified from watching the movie.
"What is Mom is a robot?" He wondered. "What if Pop Pop is a robot? What if Charles is a robot? Charles, psst, Charles."
He pokes the dog to wake him up. Charles wakes up.
"Charles, if you were a robot, you'd tell me right?"
Charles gave him a deadpanned look and barked at him.
"Ah, I've got nothing to worry about." Lincoln assured. "And now to get a good night's sleep."
As Lincoln goes to sleep, he instantly dreams about himself getting chased by the robot from the movie. The next morning, Lincoln wakes up looking a bit tired. He slowly walks out of his room. He sees something. "Robot! Oh my gosh!"
He sees a robot near Luna and Luan's room but in reality it is really Luna's speakers. Lincoln laughs nervously. In Lisa and Lily's room, Lisa is playing with her chemistry set.
"How about a little music to go with my experiments." Lisa suggested. She turns on a radio.
"And now for the number one song in Royal Woods, Electric Shock." The radio man announced. Techno music starts to play.
"Hey, that's pretty catchy." Lisa said. She sang with the beat of the music, sounding like a robot. "Yeah, that's not bad. I love this sciencey people's music."
Lincoln is in the bathroom brushing his teeth. Suddenly, there's a knock at the door. Lincoln spits out toothpaste and lets out a squeal. He grabs the toothpaste bottle and slowly opens the door. He blindly squirts toothpaste in a state of panic.
"Take that robot!"
He looks up to see a furious Lori. Her face is covered in toothpaste. Lincoln smiles nervously.
"Lincoln, what is wrong with you?!" Lori yelled.
"I-I'm sorry Lori. I'm not really feeling myself today. I'm a little bit jumpy. I keep thinking robots are gonna take over the world. Probably on account of this movie I watched last night where robots take over the world. I even asked Charles if he was a robot. Pretty funny huh?"
"Hilarious." Lori said sarcastically. "Just let me use the bathroom."
Lincoln goes outside to get the mail. The mailman walks by.
"Here's your mail sir." He said.
"Thanks." Lincoln said taking it. "Say, you're not a robot, are you?"
"No. I'm not."
"Well, keep your eyes peeled." Lincoln said suspiciously. "They're everywhere."
Lincoln goes back inside as the mailman shrugs and walks off. Lincoln walks upstairs. He then hears Lisa.
"I feel completely recharged." She said.
"Lisa?" Lincoln wondered. He peeked through her door.
"Come on buddy, play it again." Lisa begged talking to her radio. "Please. For me."
"That was strange." Lincoln said. "Lisa was talking to her radio and she said she feels recharged. If I didn't know better, I'd say she was..a robot. Nah."
Lisa was talking to someone on her cellphone. "Yes, hello. I was wondering if you could play that song again."
On the other line, the guy from the radio station was on his cellphone talking to the four year old. "Which one?"
"The one that goes beep boop boop bop boop boop beep." Lisa replied.
"No, you're thinking of beep boop boop bop boop boop bop." The guy said.
Lisa keep making robot noises as she was talking to the radio guy. Lincoln was listening. He was freaked out by this.
"Oh my gosh! Why was Lisa making all those beeping sounds?" He wondered. "Could it be that she's..a robot? Nah."
He peeked through Lisa's room again and was surprised at what he saw next. Lisa was doing some strange robot dance. The white haired boy ran right into his eldest sister's room. He clinged onto her. "Oh Lori! It's terrible! Lisa! Talking to radio! Beeping sounds! Strange dancing! Robot!"
Lori was more annoyed that Lincoln was in her room. "That's great Lincoln. Now get out of my room!"
She throws him out and closes the door. Lincoln suddenly appears back in Lori's room. (He went through a vent)
"I'm serious Lori." Lincoln explained. "Lisa is a robot! And I can prove it too!"
Lori was confused as to how Lincoln got back in her room. "How did you-"
"Let's see. In the movie, the robots didn't have a sense of humor. They couldn't laugh. Hey Lisa!"
Lisa comes over. "What is it elder brother?"
"Lori just told me a hilarious joke and thought you might like to hear it."
"Is it true Lori?" Lisa asked. "Is it hilarious?"
"Uh..sure."
"Well, let's hear it." Lisa said.
"Ok, here it goes!" Lincoln turned to Lori. "Um, how did it go Lori?"
"Uh, Well, let's see..how Do turtles call each other?" Lori said.
"How?" Lisa asked.
"On their shell phones!" Lori jokes. She laughed. "Get it? Shell phones? Cause they're..turtles."
"Lori, leave the bad jokes to Luan." Lisa advised and walked away.
Lincoln gasps. "Not even a chuckle. See Lori? She didn't laugh because she couldn't laugh because she's a robot!"
"There's a logical explanation why she didn't laugh Lincoln." Lori said. "She's obviously heard it before. The only reason you think Lisa's a robot was because you watched that stupid movie. Now why don't you-"
"Hey Lisa!" Lincoln called again.
"What? What is it Lincoln?" Lisa said a bit irritated.
"Bobby never gave Lori a gift for her birthday. Isn't that sad?"
"I guess that is rather sad." Lisa said. "But Lori forgot to give Bobby a birthday present as well."
Lisa left.
"Just like the robot in the movie." Lincoln realized. "He couldn't cry either!"
"Lincoln, this is getting ridiculous!" Lori said. "I'll have you know Bobby never forgets to give me a gift because he loves me."
"That's the final test Lori. The love test. Robots can't love. Hey Lisa!"
"What is it Lincoln?!"
"Lori wanted you to know that she loves you!" Lincoln blurted out.
Lisa stares. "I'm aware of that Lori." She leaves.
Lincoln gulps.
In Lisa's room, Lisa is still listening to her techno music but her radio dies.
"Dang it! My radio died!" She checks the batteries. "Hmm, these batteries still have a little juice in them. I know, I'll use them for a science experiment."
She puts the batteries in her pockets. A timer is heard.
"Ah, my hot dog is ready." Lisa said. She is using a mini stove and pot filled with boiling water to cook her food. She grabs a pair of tongs. "I can already taste it. Come to mama."
She uses the tongs to take the wiener. "Gotcha! And what good is a hot dog with the bun and ketchup."
She puts the hot dog in a bun and prepares to add ketchup.
"Oh Lisa!" Lincoln called.
The sudden outburst caused Lisa to accidentally squirt ketchup over her glasses, blinding her.
"Ahh! My glasses! I can't see!"
"Lisa!" Lincoln called again.
Lori covered his mouth. "Will you literally be quiet? Now what did the robots in the movie look like?"
"Well, they had piercing red eyes, metal pinchers for hands, and they ran on batteries." Lincoln explained.
"Ok, now tell me, does Lisa look anything like that?" Lori asked.
On cue, Lisa came out of her room blindly walking around. She still had ketchup on her glasses, she was also had the tongs and batteries in her pockets. "Must find bathroom!"
She walked right past her siblings. They screamed in terror as Lisa went into the bathroom.
"I'll evacuate our siblings! You call the navy!" Lori ordered.
Lincoln went to the family phone. "Hello operator, give me the navy!"
"Hello. You've reached the navy's automated phone service." Someone said through the phone.
"Lori! The robots are running the navy!" Lincoln announced.
"Not the navy!"
The other siblings, except for Lisa, hear this.
"What's going on dudes?" Luna asked.
"Guys, robots are taking over the world!" Lori stated. "Trust me. Lincoln and I witnessed this. They've already got to Lisa. I think it's best if you all hid in the basement."
The siblings were gullible enough to believe this. They all panicked and ran into the basement. Lori and Lincoln were now in Lori's room.
"What do we do now?" Lori asked.
"I don't know." Lincoln said. He sees a dollar on the floor. "Hey, a dollar."
"Lincoln."
"Sorry."
They hear Lisa coming out of the bathroom. She cleaned up her glasses.
"Ah, that's better." She walked back into her room making robot sounds.
"We need to find out what that robot did with the real Lisa." Lori said. "But how?"
"Well, in the movie, the robot teams up with a buddy." Lincoln explained. "And they get the poop on the robot."
"They poop on the robot?" Lori questioned.
"Yeah, you know, they get the straight poop, ask him questions, get information."
"I never thought I'd say this, but Lincoln, let's get that poop!"
Lori pulls out a book titled "How to Torture." She and her brother get to work on getting all the things they need to confront the "robot." Lisa is in her room reading a book. Lincoln and Lori suddenly barge.
"Oh Greetings Guys." Lisa said. "What can I do for you?"
They lock the door.
"Why'd you lock the door?" She asked.
They walk towards Lisa.
"Why do you have that rope?"
They come closer.
"Who's watching Lily?!"
The two siblings grab the genius and tie her up.
"Lincoln, Lori, what's the meaning of this?" Lisa asked. "Unite me this instant!"
"Shut up!" Lori said and slapped Lisa.
"Sweet Einstein! What the heck is going on?"
Lori slaps her again. "I said shut up you bucket of bolts!"
"I can't take it!" Lincoln runs out. He starts whimpering. Lori follows him.
"Lincoln, are you ok?"
"Oh Lori, seeing you slap Lisa like that is just too horrible to watch!"
"No. That's not Lisa. That's robot Lisa!"
"Oh yeah."
Lisa struggles to get free.
"And the only way to deal with these robot types is to find out what they know." Lori stated.
"Right." Lincoln goes up to Lisa and slapped her.
"Lincoln, you have to ask her a question first." Lori explained.
"Oh yeah. What color is my underwear?" Lincoln asked and slapped Lisa.
"Lincoln, let me handle this."
Lori shines a light at Lisa. "Where's Lisa?"
"What are you talking about?" Lisa asked confused. "I'm Lisa."
Lori slaps her. "We can literally do this all night if you want. Where's Lisa?"
"I'm Lisa!"
"Where's Lisa?" Lincoln asked.
"I'm Lisa!"
"Where's Lisa?" Lori asked.
"I am Lisa! I am! I am! I am! I am!"
"This is one stubborn robot." Lincoln said.
Lisa snapped. "WHAT?! You think I'm a robot?!"
"We don't think. We know." Lori confirmed.
"That's the silliest thing I've ever heard. I am Lisa Loud!"
"She's not cracking." Lori told Lincoln. "We'll never get it outta her this way."
"I've got an idea." Lincoln said. "Keep an eye on her Lori. Don't fall for any of her robot tricks."
Lincoln finds something in Lisa's drawers. He gets out a phone charger. "If robot Lisa won't tell us where Lisa is, maybe one of her little robot friends will."
"Uh, Lincoln, that's a charger."
"Yeah, but I saw Lisa talking to her radio before. She called it her "little buddy."
"Oh really? Put it on the table Lincoln."
"You're going to interrogate my charger?" Lisa asked. "You're crazy."
"We just wanna see what your little buddy knows." Lori said as she took out a baseball bat.
"No! Wait!" Lisa begged. "What are you gonna do to my charger? That costed me money!"
"Where's Lisa?" Lori asked the charger.
It said nothing.
"Not talking huh?" Lori smashed it with the bat.
"NO! That costed me $10.95!" Lisa shouted.
"I guess it didn't know anything." Lincoln said.
"Go get the piggy bank." Lori ordered.
Lincoln got Lisa's piggy bank.
"No! Not my piggy bank!" Lisa begged. "That costed $17.50!"
Lincoln gets out a tablet.
"62.60!"
Lori smashes it. Lincoln gets out a printer.
"F-Well, that one was a gift."
Lori smashes it.
"NOOOO!"
Lincoln gets out Lisa's chemistry set. "Well this is the last robot Lori."
"No! Not my chemistry set!" Lisa said. "I got it when I was a baby! My first present!"
Lisa starts crying. Lincoln and Lori see this.
"I thought you said robots couldn't cry." Lori mentioned.
"I also said they couldn't love." Lincoln pointed out.
"I loved it like a sister!" Lisa cried.
Lincoln smiles nervously. "Well, at least she's not laughing."
"Oh, the laughs we used to share!"
"Um Lincoln, how did that movie of yours end?" Lori asked.
"The movie? Oh yeah! The ending was great. Turns out there were no robots after all. It was just their imagination…" Lincoln laughs sheepishly. "Hey, it's time to feed Charles."
Lincoln runs out, leaving Lori alone with Lisa. Lori looks at Lisa nervously and begins to sweep up the mess she made. Lisa glared at her. Cut to outside of the Loud House.
"OH LORI!"