Chapter 23: Royal Bottom
Parody of the Spongebob episode: Rock Bottom.
Lincoln and half his sisters, Luna, Luan, Lana, Lisa, and Lynn all had a fun time at Dairyland. Now they were waiting for a bus to come take them back home.
"Another fun-tastic day at Dairyland." Lincoln said. He was holding an udder shaped balloon.
"You said it brah." Luna said.
"Yeah, I love this a-MOO-sement park." Luan jokes.
Then the bus arrived. The siblings went inside the bus. Lincoln managed to get his giant balloon inside. The bus driver told Lincoln he needed to pay.
"Let me get my wallet." Lincoln said. He turned around to get out his wallet from his back pocket but he accidentally hit the driver with the balloon. Basically every time Lincoln turned the bus driver would get hit with the balloon.
"Wait. Let me check this pocket." Lincoln checks his other pocket.
Whack!
"No."
Whack!
"Do any of you have any change?" Lincoln asked his sisters.
"How much do you need?" Lynn asked.
"How much is it?" Lincoln asked the driver.
"50 cents."
Whack!
"50 cents." Lincoln told Lynn.
"Nope." Lynn said.
Whack!
"Let me check my other pocket." Lincoln said.
Now the bus driver was getting annoyed.
"Forget it." He said.
Whack!
"What did you say?"
"Just take your seat!"
"Thanks mister."
"Yeah, whatev-"
Whack!
Lincoln went to sit next to his sisters near the back of the bus. The bus drove off.
"Show is what you got at Dairyland." Lana said.
Lincoln pulled out an udder flashlight. "Here's my udder flashlight. It's supposed to glow in the dark."
"Wow." Lana said.
"What did you guys get?"
"I got gloves for my udder action figure." Lana said taking out her udder toy. She put a tiny glove on it.
"Cool." Lincoln said.
"I got this cowbell." Luan said showing her prize.
"I got this cow tail from the mascot." Lynn said showing her prize.
"How did you get that?" Lana asked.
"Let's Just day that mascot had what was coming to her."
As the siblings continue to chat, Lana notices a sign that said: You are now leaving Royal Woods.
"Hey Linc?"
"Yeah?"
"Where's leaving Royal Woods?"
"Where did you see that?"
"We just passed the sign. You are now in Leaving Royal Woods."
"What?" Lincoln said. His sisters heard this too.
Lincoln looked out the window.
"What's wrong Lincoln?" Lana asked.
Lincoln saw a sign that said Royal Woods city limits. Lincoln realized they weren't in Royal Woods.
"Guys, I think we're on the wrong-"
Suddenly, the bus went down a road that lead underground. The siblings were flung back against the bus.
"Bus!"
Lincoln struggled to get to the front of the bus. As he tried, his pants and underwear came off. His pants were flung back towards Lisa. She avoided his pants but got hit in the face with his underwear. The bus finally came to a stop when it reached the ground. The siblings flew to the front. The bus driver got smacked against the front window with the udder balloon. The kids got kicked off the bus.
"But sir, we need to get back home to Royal Woods." Lincoln begged.
The bus driver gave Lincoln his balloon. "Oh well."
"Where are we?" Luan asked.
Lincoln saw a sign that read- "Royal Bottom." The words were inverted.
The kids saw a bus station.
"It sure is weird around here." Lincoln said. "Kinda different."
"Even the dirt and rocks look different." Luna said. She picked up a weird looking rock.
"Luna, I think that's dog poop." Lisa observed.
Luna freaked out and threw it away.
Luan was scared. "Guys, I don't like it here. It's dark and scary. I don't wanna be here. I wanna go home."
"Yeah. And look, I can't even tell the bathrooms apart." Lynn said pointing to the restrooms that had two doors with question marks on them. One question mark was upside down.
"That's an easy one Lynn. Just wait for someone to come out and then you'll know." Lincoln assured.
Someone came out of the first door but they couldn't tell if the person was male or female. They didn't even look human. More like a troll.
"Um, maybe we should wait for one more." Lincoln said.
One troll looking person came out of the second door. More troll looking people came out of the first door. Their genders couldn't be identified.
"I still can't read the signs." Lynn said.
"I wanna go home!" Luan cried.
"Uh ok. You guys can wait for a bus. Call me if it comes." Lincoln said. "I'm gonna go look for a bus schedule."
"I'll come with you Lincoln." Lana said.
"I'll assist you in case you get lost." Lisa said.
"I'll come to protect y'all." Lynn said.
"Ok dudes. Me and Luan will stay here." Luna stated.
Lincoln, Lisa, Lynn, and Lana went off to find a bus schedule.
"It sure is weird around here." Lincoln said nervously.
"Hey guys, the bus is here!" Luan said. She and Luna were already on a bus. They were driving away from the others.
Lincoln, Lisa, Lynn, and Lana chased after the bus which went up the road they came from. They tried to go up too but they kept falling back down. They gave up.
"How can these buses go up a 90 degree angle anyway?" Lisa questioned.
"Come on. Let's go wait for the next one." Lincoln suggested.
They go wait for the next bus.
"Ugh, where is the dang bus?" Lana said. "I think I forgot to feed Hops at home."
Lana saw a gopher cuddling her leg. "Aw, you're cute. Guys, check out this gopher.
The others gathered around to see it.
"Gophers are fascinating." Lisa said.
"He's got Luan's teeth." Lincoln commented as he petted it.
"Ha Ha. Good one." Lynn said.
As the kids were admiring the gopher, they failed to notice the bus was here until it drove off. The kids groaned. They continued to wait. It was getting windy so they had to hand onto their udder hats. Then the wind picked up Lincoln's balloon and blew it away.
"My balloon!" Lincoln and his sisters chased after the balloon but ended up missing the bus again. They ran back to the bus stop.
"Wait!" Lincoln yelled. "Hold on! Stop that bus!"
"Grr! Not again!" Lynn said frustrated and threw her hat on the ground.
They noticed a another troll looking creature.
"Um, excuse me sir, can you help us?" Lincoln asked.
The guy made a raspberry sound.
"Uh Yeah, I-"
The troll guy ran after the balloon.
"No! No! Not the balloon! We need to know when the next bus comes." Lincoln said but the person was gone now.
The next bus came. The kids tried to reach it but it left. They went back to waiting at the bus stop.
"Well there goes another one." Lisa said bummed out. "We should be more diligent. We don't leave this spot no matter what! Agreed?"
"Agreed." Said the others.
Soon Lynn was hungry. "Getting hungry. Dairy candy dispenser. Good thing we went to Dairyland." She took out her udder candy dispenser and squirted udder styled candy into her mouth. She chewed on them but spit them back out. "Eww. Udder flavored."
Then she saw something. "Hey. What's that?" The kids saw noticed too. It was a vending machine. "Vending machine. Mmm. I could go for a protein bar right now."
"No Lynn, we're not leaving this spot no matter what." Lana reminded her.
Lynn's stomach growled louder. "I'll only be gone for a second guys."
"But I thought you didn't have any money." Lincoln said.
"I didn't before. But I found some quarters on the ground here."
Lynn went to the vending machine and watched for the bus. She saw the vending machine selections. "Hey guys, they've got Burpin Burger snack bars."
The others rushed to the vending machine as they were happy to hear this. Just as they went to the other side, a bus came and left.
"No!" Lincoln cried.
They ran back to the bus stop. Lynn's stomach growled again. They went back but stopped to check for another bus. As Lynn was about to pay for snacks, another bus came and drove off.
"Wait!" Lincoln said. The kids ran back.
"Wait a minute. Duh! I'll pay for the snacks while you guys wait here." Lynn suggested.
"Good idea." Lincoln said.
Lynn readied herself. She quickly ran to the vending machine and pressed all the buttons. She waited for her snacks but they were taking a while to fall down.
"Come on! Come on!"
The snack fell to the bottom. Lynn went to grab it but the bus came. Lynn ran towards the bus but it left. Lynn grew frustrated. Then she noticed her siblings weren't there.
"Huh?"
The siblings came back.
"Hey, where did you go? You guys were supposed to wait for the bus!"
"Sorry, we had the restroom." Lincoln said.
"Even though we still couldn't identity them." Lana added.
"Ok. Just wait here." Lynn went back to get her protein bar. As she went to grab it, the bus slowly drove forward. She resisted and the bus went backwards. Whenever she tried to reach for the bar, the bus would go forward a little. She touched the bar and heard the engine revving up. She decided to forget about her snack and make a run for it. But the bus left. The siblings were still there. Then a person came and took Lynn's protein bar.
"Hey! That was mine!" Lynn yelled as she ran to the other side of the street.
Three buses quickly went by.
"Those buses didn't even stop for us!" Lincoln said.
Lynn ran back and shook the bus stop sign in anger. "Gosh Dang it!"
"Guys, we gotta get to the bottom of this." Lisa advised. "This is preposterous. We've missed too many buses. We should head down to the bus station and ask for a bus ride back to Royal Woods."
The Louds head inside the bus station. They go to the line.
"We're first in line and nobody is gonna tell us otherwise." Lincoln said.
Then they saw a huge ugly person staring down at them.
"Ok, second. We're second in line."
The second person in line hisses at them.
"Third is good."
The third person glared at them.
"Fourth, not bad."
Soon, the kids had walked all the way to the back of the line.
"329. We're 329th in line and nobody forget it!"
The guy standing next to them put out a sign that said "329" and had an arrow pointed at them. Then he made a raspberry.
"Well, at least the line's moving." Lana said.
The line moved up but one guy quickly cut in front of them. This caused Lynn to fume. She was about to attack the guy but her siblings held her back. Time passed by and the siblings doze off in line.
"Next. (raspberry) Next!" Said the manager.
The siblings woke up.
"Guys, we're next!" Lincoln said. The siblings went up to the information desk.
"When is the next bus to Royal Woods?" Lincoln asked.
"What? (raspberry)"
"The bus schedule. The next bus."
"I can't (raspberry) understand (raspberry) your accent." The guy at the desk said.
"The next bus (raspberry) to Royal (raspberry) Woods. (raspberry)".
"Oh. (raspberry) Why didn't you say so? (raspberry) Next bus leaves in (raspberry) five seconds."
The bus outside had already left.
"Ooh. Tough luck kids. (raspberry) That's the last one til morning." (raspberry)
The guy left.
"Oh no (raspberry) you don't!" (raspberry)
The guy put out a closed sign. "Goodnight." (raspberry)
"Hold it! I'm not through here! (raspberry) Do you hear me? (raspberry) I demand you come back and give us a bus back to Royal Woods! Until then we are not leaving this spot!" (3 raspberries)
It becomes dark. The kids grew nervous.
"Ok, like I said, we'll be right here when you get back." Lincoln said nervously. ""At this spot. In the dark."
"Wait. I have my Udderlight." Lisa said and pulled out her udder shaped flashlight she got at Dairyland. She turned it on. "Ah, that's better."
Then it started to flicker and then it died.
"This isn't your average everyday darkness." Lana said with fear. "This is...advanced darkness. Hey, maybe if we close our eyes it won't seem so dark."
They all close their eyes. Then they hear a raspberry sound.
"Who's there?" Lincoln asked.
They quickly walked out of the bus station.
"Well I guess that spot will be there tomorrow." Lynn said nervously.
"Yeah, I concur. I think we better just keep walking." Lisa said nervously.
(Raspberry)
"Running. Better start running. Running." Lana said nervously as they all started running.
(Raspberry)
"Sprinting! Yes! We just gotta keep sprinting!" Lincoln yelled as the siblings all sprinted off.
They all ran into the road that went up. They were all in a daze from the impact.
"Sitting. Sitting. Bleeding." Lincoln said dazedly.
Then the kids heard footsteps approaching them.
"Hey, who's there?" Lincoln asked scared.
The footsteps came closer.
"Ok. That's enough." Lisa said scared.
"Don't come any closer." Lana said scared.
"I'm warning you. I know karate!" Lynn yelled scared.
The person came closer.
"AHHH!" The siblings screamed.
Then they realized it was the troll looking guy who chased after Lincoln's balloon earlier. He had caught it.
(raspberry)
"Oh. It's only you." Lincoln said.
The guy tied the balloon around Lincoln's hand.
"Well that solves my balloon problem but we've got a bigger problem." Lincoln explained. "We're kinda stuck here. We need to catch a bus to get home."
As Lincoln was talking, the guy was blowing up his balloon to make it bigger.
"Oh you don't understand a word I'm saying, do you? Balloon (raspberry) have (raspberry) enough (raspberry) air. (raspberry) Thanks."
Lincoln started to float away. His sisters grabbed onto him. Luckily, the balloon was strong enough to carry all of them. Lincoln realized they were floating.
"Hey, I get it. Balloon travel."
"Thank (raspberry) you!" The kids thanked.
"You're welcome." The guy said.
The kids were surprised he didn't do a raspberry. Soon, they were out of Royal Bottom and were back in Royal Woods. They landed next to their house.
"Ah, home at last." Lincoln said. His balloon popped.
Just then, they saw a bus passing by with Luan and Luna on it. They stuck their heads out the window.
"Don't worry dudes, we're coming back for you!" Luna said.