Chapter 24: Not Normal
Parody of the Spongebob episode: Not Normal
Lori is having a relaxing afternoon sunbathing outside. Suddenly, a loud screeching is heard, scaring Lori.
"What the heck?!" She went to look for the source of the noise. She saw Lucy hanging upside down on the tree in their front yard. She was the one making screeching sounds.
"Hey! Lucy, what are you doing?" Lori asked, annoyed.
"I'm just trying to have a decent afternoon." Lucy replied.
"By hanging upside down and screeching like a vampire?!" Lori said.
"Lori, a vampire screeches like this." Lucy made a different sound.
Lori gave her an annoyed look.
"You know, there are two kinds of people." Lori explained. "There's normal people and then there's you."
"Really?"
"Yes! Maybe you should start being a little more normal!" Lori yelled and went back inside.
"I'm not normal?" Lucy questioned.
Lori went into her room to relax on her bed and text Bobby. Lucy suddenly appeared in front of Lori on her bed, scaring her.
"Lori, how does one become normal?" Lucy asked.
"Well, you could start by-" Lori throws Lucy out of her room. "Staying out of my bedroom you little creeper!"
She slammed her door shut.
"What's wrong with me?" Lucy said sadly. She got a determined look. "I need to understand normal."
Later, Lucy is in the living room. She has bought a video tape titled "How to be Normal for beginners."
"How to be normal. This video tape should help."
Lucy put the tape in the video player. On the tv screen, a dressed up man appeared. "Are you tired of being called a freak? Do people throw you out of their rooms? Well do they?"
"Yes, Yes, And Yes." Lucy answered.
"Then join me as I take you on a journey into normality." The man said.
"Normality," Lucy repeated.
On the screen, they showed a row of houses that all looked the same.
"The life of a normal person is relatively simple." A girl opened the door of her house. She was smiling and was dressed similar to Rita. "Her is your typical average Joe or Joanna on her way to work. See how she's dressed. Even her hair is boring." She combs her hair. "Notice how her hair doesn't cover her eyes and she often smiles."
"Eye coverage? Smiles?" Lucy said.
"In her school, Ms. Normal, at least that's what it says on her name tag, works at a steady and monotonous pace. Just like all the other normals do."
We see a classroom where all the classmates look like the Ms. Normal. Then it cuts to a lunchroom. "Take note of how they communicate with each other."
"Hi. How are you?" Two normals said in unison as they sat down at a table to eat.
"After school, Ms. Normal goes home to complete her duties."
After school, Ms. Normal is now doing chores. Cuts to her doing her homework. It is now nighttime. "At the end of the day, Ms. Normal gets ready to call it a day and start her cycle again in the morning."
After the video was done, Lucy had a content look on her face. "Yeah, that's gonna be me."
The next day, Lori is waiting in line to use the bathroom. Lucy is in there.
"Hey Lucy, you almost done in there?" Lori said.
Lucy opened the door and walked out. "All yours."
"What? You're not gonna spook up on me?" Lori asked.
"Nope. I took your advice. From now on I'm normal." Lucy said with a smile. Her voice sounded a little different too.
Lori looked at her suspiciously. "Really?"
"Yep."
"Whatever. I know you're just waiting to say something weird."
"Wonderful weather we're having." Lucy said.
Lori paused. "Uh..yes it is."
"Ok, see you later." Lucy said and left.
"Yeah, I'll, uh, I'll see ya." Lori awkwardly went into the bathroom.
Lucy went back into her room to get dressed. Lynn came up to her holding Edwin.
"Yo Luce, don't forget to take Edwin to your class presentation." Lynn said.
"I won't be needing him anymore. He's not normal." Lucy said. "I'll do a presentation on a normal poet."
"Um. Ok?" Lynn said.
"Oh, and I don't sleep in a coffin anymore. That's so not normal." Lucy said as she went to get ready for school.
"And you're so not Lucy." Lynn said to herself.
Lori went downstairs to get breakfast. "I wonder what got into Lucy today?"
Lynn showed up and heard Lori. "I know right? She's acting different. She said she was planning getting rid of Edwin and she said she sleep in a real bed from now on. She's even dressed in brighter colors now."
Lori slapped herself in the face.
"That's exactly how I reacted." Lynn said.
Later at school, Lucy went to her classroom. She was now wearing a white buttoned up shirt that looked similar to Rita's. She was also wearing a light blue skirt and red slip in shoes. Her classmates saw her wearing different clothes and that she was smiling.
"Lucy, is that you?" One boy asked.
"Yep. Nice weather we're having." Lucy said.
"Uh, Yeah." The boy said.
"Lucy, I like your clothes." One girl said.
"Thank you. They're so normal." Lucy replied.
The events that followed next were Lucy doing her usual class assignments. She did her presentation on a famous poet. She didn't spook any of her classmates with her bats. She talked to her teacher and had a normal conversation with him.
"I could get used to this." The teacher said to himself.
Lucy's friend, Haiku however was not too happy to see Lucy's new change. At recess, she observed the others kids on what they do during recess instead of hanging out with her goth organized her locker which used to have a bunch of spooky related stuff in it. Now it was just plain and normal.
3 days later..
At the end of school, Lucy went outside to Vanzilla. Lori and the others were waiting for her.
"Lucy has been so different lately." Lincoln said concerned.
"But I like it." Lori said. "She's not being weird or creepy.
"But still, i think-Whoa." Lincoln said as he saw his eight year old sis. Her eyes were now revealed. They were beautiful.
"Hi guys." She greeted her siblings.
"Lucy, you eyes are so pretty." Lola said.
"Yeah." Lincoln said.
"Thanks."
"I've been meaning to say this but I've come to appreciate your demeanor lately." Lori said.
"You know it's funny Lori, I've grown a new personality and the rest followed suit. Now I'm utterly normal." Lucy said with a smile.
Later today, Rita got a call from Lucy's principal.
"Hello?"
"Hello Mrs. Loud, this is Principal Huggins. I'm calling on an issue concerning your daughter, Lucy Loud."
"Does this have something to do with her new behavior?"
"Yes. See, she's not playing with other students during recess. She just takes notes of what the others do. She says taking notes about things is what normal people do. She follows the adults around too. She even spied on me when I was making my morning announcements."
We cut to a flashback of Lucy peeking through the principal's window. She takes notes about him. Cut back to the present.
"Maybe you could straighten things out with her or else she would have to do homeschooling."
"Homeschooling? Ok sir, I'll let her know about this."
Lucy is in her room doing homework. Rita opens the door.
"Lucy, honey, we need to talk." Rita said.
"About what?"
"Look, your Principal just called me said you need to stop studying so much and hang out the other students during recess."
"But I am hanging out with other students. I'm just takin notes of what they do."
"You're missing the point dear. At recess, you're supposed to have fun. You should go back to doing your goth related things with your friends and stop acting so dull."
"What you call dull I call normal." Lucy said.
"Honey, we follow the adults around to study them too. It creeps them out." Rita explained. "And because of this, they will put you in a homeschooling program. Please think about this."
Rita leaves.
"I guess the decision to be normal was more life changing than I thought." Lucy said to herself.
Just then, the doorbell rang. Lucy answered it. It was Haiku. "Hi Luce.
"Oh hi Haiku. It feels like we haven't hung out in weeks because I became normal." Lucy said.
"I see that. Hey, what do you say we play with our bats outside?" Haiku held out her bat.
"Let's do something normal like scrapbook organizing."
"Let's do this." Haiku grew big fangs. "Your turn."
"I think I'll pass." Lucy said. "But I do need to do some cleaning. Would you like to help?"
"Hey, listen, when you decide to do something fun, you know where to find me." Haiku said and left.
"Ok, see you around." Lucy said and closed the door.
Lori is in her room making her bed. A knock on the door is heard. Lori answers it to see Lucy.
"Hi, how are you?" Lucy greeted.
"I never thought I'd literally hear myself say this but please come in Lucy."
Lori and Lucy sat on Lori's bed. Lori offered Lucy a smoothie.
"Thank you. Tell me, what are you doing cooped up in here when the weather outside is so normal?" Lucy said.
"Well, I was doing my chores." Lori explained. "I just got done cleaning all my pictures."
Lori showed all her pictures of herself that were on her dresser.
"Wow. That's something you don't see in the average house." Lucy said.
"You know, Lucy. It's ok to be a little different."
"And you know what else is abnormal? The way you're always on your phone." Lucy said.
Lori was now texting someone. She looked up from her phone.
"Also, your hair is a little too big. I can fix that." Lucy got out a razor and started cutting some of Lori's hair. She showed Lori her new look through a mirror. "See? Looking normalier all ready."
Lori screamed. She now had a bald spot.
"One more thing Lori. You should do something about your farting problem."
Lori angrily threw her little sis out of her room. "And stay out of my room!" She slammed her door shut.
"Ok, I guess I was wrong to tell Lucy to change herself." Lori admitted to herself. Then she thought about something. "Hmm."
Lucy went back to her room. She sighs. "What happened? I'm getting kicked out of school, I lost my friend, and now I'm too normal for Lori. Maybe I have taken this normal thing too far. No problem Lucy, you made yourself normal. Now all you have to do is re-weird yourself. All it'll take is some mental adjusting and some tight clenching. Now focus and-"
Lori tried to change back to normal. She grew veins on her face and her face turned red. She breathed out. "Well this isn't working. If I'm gonna get weird, I'm gonna have to see a professional."
At the park, Haiku and Clyde are spinning in the air with a bunch of bats carrying them. The two kids were enjoying it. Lucy was there watching.
"That's very nice guys." Lucy said. "But I want you to train me. I want to be abnormal again."
Haiku snaps her finger. The bats fly down and Clyde and Haiku jump off.
"Hmm. I don't think you have what it takes." Haiku said.
"Please guys, if anyone can teach me the arcane art of the weird, it's you two. Mostly Haiku." Lucy begged. "Teach me how to be me again!"
"It won't be easy, but we'll do it." Haiku agreed.
"Yeah, we'll totally help!" Clyde said.
"Oh thank you guys." Lucy cheered.
"But first we'll need a bucket of black paint, a slide, and a flatbed truck. And you'll need a swimsuit."
We cut to the guys in a forest and were on top of a mountain. The three kids are in their swimsuits. Haiku, Clyde, and Lucy had enough black paint to fill up the slide they were about to ride down.
"Are you guys sure about this?" Lucy asked nervously as she was standing in front of the slide.
"Try to concentrate on your first lesson in wired." Clyde said. He pushed Lucy down the ride. "See ya on the other side!"
Clyde and Haiku slid down after her. They came to the end of the ride that lead to a ramp of the flatbed truck. They were launched into the air and landed in a mud puddle. A tourist and her kids approached them.
"Mommy, What are those things?" Her daughter asked.
"Those are undesirables honey. We only talk to normal people." The mother replied and she and her kids walked away.
"Sigh." Lucy said.
"Lucy, the weird therapy is working. You just said "sigh." Haiku stated. "We just gotta keep pushing the boundaries. We've gotta get stranger."
Now we go to a montage of Clyde and Haiku trying to revert Lucy back to her original self. They float through town on Haiku's bats. Lucy eats a fly. This causes her skin to go back to it's pale color. The kids smiled happily. Next, they are all hanging upside down in a tree.
"I think the blood is rushing to my head." Clyde said.
"Try talking in demon language." Haiku told Lucy.
Lucy spoke in a deep demon voice which made her English hard to understand. Haiku could translate it though. Lucy grew fangs. Haiku gave her a thumbs up.
Now Lucy, Haiku, and Clyde were in Lucy's room carving art onto Lucy's coffin. Clyde was trying to carve Lori. Haiku made a vampire and Lucy made a bloody heart. Lucy's hair now covered her eyes. Lucy smiled. Haiku and Clyde gave her a thumbs up. Suddenly, Lucy started to glow.
"What's this?" Clyde said.
"The final transformation." Haiku replied.
Lucy started to float and glow brighter but then she went back down. She still remained the same.
"Huh?"
"What happened?" Clyde asked.
"I don't know. I guess I became permanently normal." Lucy said sadly.
Lucy and Haiku started to cry and hug each other. Clyde sadly joined in on the hug.
"I don't want to be normal!" Lucy whined.
Then there was a knock on the door.
"Go away! We're mourning!" Haiku said.
"It's me Lori. I'm here to see Lucy." Lori opened the door to reveal she had a new look. Her hair was in a ponytail. She was dressed in a polo shirt and was wearing jeans. She also had a big creepy smile on her face and a different voice. "Hi."
Lucy and Haiku were shocked to see this. Clyde was just as speechless as them too.
"How are you?"
Lucy screamed and instantly changed back to her goth look.
"Lucy, you're back to goth!" Haiku said.
"Yeah, I guess Lori's normal look scared me back to my original look." Lucy said in her monotone voice. "Thanks Lori, you saved my life."
"Actually, I'm only pretending to act like this." Lori explained in her normal voice. "I was thinking if I dressed this way you would go back to being you."
"Well it worked." Clyde said.
"And I'm sorry I was being harsh on you Lucy." Lori said. "I mean, we're all different."
"It's ok. And Lori, you were totally normal before." Lucy admitted.
Lori smiled.
"Well guys, let's go out and enjoy this wonderful weather." Haiku said.
"Yeah." Lucy agreed.
Lucy was happy to be back.