Chapter 29: I Was a Teenage Hops
Parody of Spongebob episode: I was a teenage Gary
At the Loud House, Lana's frog Hops was exercising. He was doing pull ups with his tongue on a pull-up bar.
"Ok, exercise time is over Hops." Lana said, picking up the frog. "That's one strong tongue you've there. Now how about a snack for your hard work."
Hops smiles. Lana got out a jar with flies inside. She opened it and they came out. Hops caught and ate them with his tongue.
"I love you, Hops." Lana said as she hugged him. Hops jumped on her head.
Lola came into the room. "Hey Lana, are you ready?"
"Ready for what?"
"For the Annual Bluebell Scouts Resort weekend of course! They said we could bring our whole family!"
"Oh, that was this weekend?. Would they let me bring Hops?"
"I doubt it. The resort has a rule against frogs."
"Aw man, but who'll take care of Hops?"
Just then, Mr. Grouse rang the doorbell. Lynn Sr. went to answer the door.
"Alright Loud, who keeps leaving their muddy boots on my front lawn?" Mr. Grouse asked, holding up a pair of muddy boots.
"Lana!" Lynn Sr. called.
Lana rushed downstairs. "Yeah Dad?"
"You gotta stop leaving stuff on Mr. Grouse's lawn."
"Yeah. Otherwise it's my property." Mr. Grouse added.
"My bad." Lana took the boots. "Say Mr. Grouse, would you mind watching Hops this weekend?"
"What's a Hops?"
"Not a Hops. Hops, he's my pet frog." Lana took Hops off her head and held him in front of Grouse. "Say hello Hops."
Hops croaked and drooled. Mr. Grouse was disgusted.
"You actually care for that thing?"
"I love Hops!" Lana said as she hugged him.
"Well I don't. Get somebody else." Mr. Grouse walked off.
Lola came downstairs. "Well, I guess Clyde could take care of Hops while we're gone."
Mr. Grouse overheard what Lola just said and came back. "Gone? Where are you going?"
"We're having a family vacation at a resort." Lana explained.
"You mean if I watch Hops you guys will be gone all weekend?"
"Actually a three day weekend."
"As in not here for three days?"
"Yeah, but you already said you can't do it. We understand."
"Yeah, I wouldn't want to watch an icky frog either." Lola admitted.
"I've changed my mind. You guys should take that family vacation." Mr. Grouse said.
"You'll do it? Great! Let me show you a little bit about frog care." Lana dragged the old man inside. She took him into the kitchen.
"You need to take Hops for a walk twice a day."
As Lana was talking, Mr. Grouse was thinking about the good weekend he was going to have. Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. A three day weekend.
Lana opened a cupboard which had jars of frog food inside. Ones labeled for morning and ones for night.
"Let me show you how you feed him. I have the jars labeled. A jar for the morning and a jar for night."
"Sure it's enough?" Mr. Grouse said sarcastically.
Soon, the Louds had packed their luggage and were all ready to leave for their family vacation. They were in Vanzilla waiting for Lana.
"Well gang, the other pets are all gonna spend the weekend at a pet resort." Lynn Sr. stated. "Except for Hops. Mr. Grouse agreed to take care of him."
"Well that was nice of him." Rita said.
Lana and Mr. Grouse walked out of the house.
"Well Lana, you have fun. Goodbye."
"Now you won't forget my instructions right?"
"Don't worry. I'll take good care of Fred."
"Hops." Lana corrected.
"Yeah yeah."
"Hurry up Lana!" Lola yelled.
Lana went inside the van.
"We're going on vacation! We're going on vacation!" The family sang and drove off.
Mr. Grouse waved goodbye. As soon as they were gone, Mr. Grouse became ecstatic. "Whoo! They're gone!"
Mr. Grouse went inside his house, completely forgetting about the frog who was staring out the window.
Later that day, Mr. Grouse was outside playing miniature golf. He was now wearing a Hawaiian shirt and sunglasses.
"Ah, this is the life." Mr. Grouse said to himself. "With the Louds gone, this is the most peaceful weekend I've ever gotten."
3 days later…
Mr. Grouse is seen playing miniature golf, which is what he did for most of the weekend. Then he heard voices. He saw Vanzilla driving down the street which means the Louds were back from their vacation.
"Well, that's the end of my peaceful weekend." Mr. Grouse said, disappointed. "Nothing but me, me, me."
He looked at the Loud House and saw Hops, who looked pale. "Ribbit." Hops fell down.
Mr. Grouse paled. "Ah! The frog! I forgot about the frog!" Mr. Grouse rushes into their house. Hops was laying on the floor looking rather weak. Grouse picked him up and went to the kitchen.
"I gotta do something!" Mr. Grouse opened up the cupboards and got out all the frog food. He poured it all into a bowl and threw all the jars aside.
"Ok, here we go!" Mr. Grouse picked up Hops and tried to feed him. "Come on! You gotta eat all this food!" Hops remained still.
Outside, the family was now in their driveway.
"Oh boy." Lana said. "I can't wait to see Hops."
Inside, Mr. Grouse was still trying to feed the frog.
"Come on! Eat! Eat! Eat!"
Outside, Lynn Sr. got out his house key as the family were about to head inside.
Inside, Mr. Grouse had to act quickly. He looked at the trash can and had an idea. The family finally came inside, along with the other house pets.
"Hops, I'm home!" Lana called.
Mr. Grouse came carrying a big pile of trash in a trash bag. It was full of Hops food.
"Hey guys." He greeted them nervously.
"Mr. Grouse? Were you checking up on Hops?" Lana asked.
"Uh, yes. And while I was here, I thought I'd take out your trash too."
"Gee, thanks Mr. Grouse." Lana thanked.
"You've been real neighborly." Lynn Sr. Said.
"Well, I guess I'll see you later. Goodbye now." Mr. Grouse left with the trash.
"I didn't know if I could count on you Mr. Grouse." Lana said.
Just then, Hops came out looking ill. Lana and the rest of the family were shocked.
"Ah! HOPS! What happened to you? What's wrong, boy?" Lana picked him up. "Mr. Grouse! Something's wrong with Hops!"
Mr. Grouse felt guilty now. Especially since Lana was tearing up now.
"Honey, it'll be ok. I'll call a veterinarian." Rita suggested.
Soon, the veterinarian arrived at the Loud House. Everyone was gathered in the living room, including Mr. Grouse.
"Yes, it's just as I thought." The veterinarian said.
"What?" Lana asked.
"This is definitely a frog."
"I know he's a frog!" Lana yelled.
The doctor continued. "Therefore a shot of frog plasma must be carefully administered. Here you go."
The doctor gave Lana the frog plasma.
"Aren't you gonna do it?" She asked.
"Oh, uh no. I'm too squeamish." The doctor left the house.
There was a bit of silence. Mr. Grouse decided to say something.
"Uh, hey doc, let me help you with your bag there."
Lana stopped him. "Mr. Grouse, wait! I can't give Hops his plasma! This is too much for me to handle! Can you do it?"
"Why me?"
"Because you were the one who volunteered to take care of Hops. And just look at him now!"
Hops coughed loudly.
"Hops!"
Mr. Grouse sighs. "Ok, I'll do it." He took the frog plasma.
"Now don't hurt him." Lana said as she held up the frog. Mr. Grouse prepared to inject him but Lana moved the frog. "No! That's too hard! Ok, try it again." Mr. Grouse prepared to inject him but Lana kept moving the frog. "Wait! Wait! Wait! Wait!"
Mr. Grouse kept missing. "Would you hold him still?"
"Wait! Wait! Wait! Wait!"
"Hold still!" Mr. Grouse accidentally poked Lana in the nose.
"Ouch! Mr. Grouse, you've just injected me with frog plasma."
"Well, you made me do it." He took the plasma shot off her.
"What's gonna happen to me?" Lana said.
"Nothing. It's just a little frog plasma."
"Well, injecting a human with frog plasma could lead to highly bad results." Lisa confirmed.
"I feel a little funny." Lana said, rubbing her head.
"I'm telling you it's all in your head." Mr. Grouse said.
Hops made his way to his bowl. He drank some water from it and he instantly felt better.
"Ribbit."
"Hops!" Lana exclaimed.
"He just needed water?" Mr. Grouse said in disbelief.
"Oh Hops, you're better!" Lana picked him up and hugged up.
The other Louds smiled at this.
"Oh how touching. I'm gonna go home and barf. Goodnight." Mr. Grouse headed out the door.
"Mr. Grouse, wait! The frog plasma!"
"Trust me Lana. Nothing's gonna happen to you. You're fine." The elderly man shut the front door and left.
"I guess Mr. Grouse is right." Lana said.
"He could be. Or there may be a chance that you may transform into an amphibian." Lisa stated.
Lana laughed. "Good one Lisa."
"Yeah, I doubt Lana would turn into a frog." Lola said.
"It does sound ridiculous." Rita said. "But I'm glad your frog is ok.
"Me too." Lana said. "So Hops, are ya hungry?"
Hops hopped. "Ribbit!"
In the kitchen, Lana has poured frog food into Hops' bowl. She then began to crave some frog food herself. She tasted a bit of it. She liked it so she ate more. She went to Hops with the bowl.
"Eat up Hops."
Hops saw his bowl had no food in it. "Ribbit?"
"Sorry Hops. I couldn't control myself." She lets out a loud burp. "Ribbit. Wait, why did I just do that? Am I cracking up?"
"Ribbit." Hops croaked.
"No. Mr. Grouse is right. I'm fine. I guess I'm overreacting. I feel great." Lana went upstairs but started to hop up the stairs instead of walking.
"Boing! Boing! Boing!" Lana said.
She went to the bathroom and Hops followed her. She looked in the mirror.
"Look at me. Never better." Suddenly, Lana's face began to bubble and bloat and it became pudgy, kinda like Hops' face. Then her tongue extended, but she sucked it back in. "Hops, I'm fine."
Then she got on all fours and began groaning. Her hands became webbed. "That's ok! My hands are normally sticky anyway." Her feet burst out of her shoes and they were webbed too. "Ha! Now I don't have to buy those new shoes!"
Her spine begins twisting as she's forced to be in a squatting position, then her skin turns green. "I take it back Hops. Something is wrong with me and this riiiiiiiiiiiiiibbbbbbbiiiiit!"
At Mr. Grouse's house, Mr. Grouse was getting ready for bed.
"I hope I never see another frog again." He said to himself. He turns out the light. He then hears the doorbell ring. He turns the light back on. "Oh, who could that be? I can take a guess."
He walks to the front door and opened it. "Lana, I told you you're gonna be just fi-"
He was surprised to see Lana completely turned into a frog.
"Ribbit."
Mr. Grouse screams and slams the door shut. He starts to panic. "Did I see what I think I just saw? What have I done? It's all your fault!" He threw the frog plasma shot away. "Ok, ok. Get it together, Grouse."
He heard Lana making frog sounds, then boarded up his front door. But then Lana peeked through a window. He closed the blinds. He heard something else. It was coming from the chimney. Lana came in from the chimney. Mr. Grouse screamed and ran into the kitchen.
"None of this would have happened if I fed that frog!"
Lana came in. Mr. Grouse ran off. Lana jumped on him and the two started to wrestle as Grouse was trying to get the frog girl off of him. Noises were heard outside of the house. Inside, Mr. Grouse's living room was now a mess as his furniture was knocked over. Mr. Grouse got up, groaning. He had the frog plasma on his nose.
"Uh oh."
Soon, Hops, Lana, and Mr. Grouse who was now a frog were outside singing in frog version. (They were singing the Loud House theme song) A disturbed Lola came out in her PJs.
"Quiet! I'm trying to get some sleep!" She threw a boot at Mr. Grouse knocking him down. Hops and Lana continued to sing.
"I hope Lisa can fix this." Lola muttered and went back inside the house.