A parody of the Spongebob episode: Clams. This has been requested by a few people so now here it is. Enjoy.
It's a typical day at the Loud House. The Loud kids are watching a Spanish reality tv show, in which the cast were speaking Spanish.
"You know, I can't understand a word these guys are saying." Lynn said.
"None of us can." Lori replied.
"This show needs subtitles." Lola added.
Just then, Lynn Sr. came home and he was all excited about something. He threw confetti in the air. The rest of the family just stared at him. He went over to Rita and kissed her. He took out some paper and wiped it on his butt.
"Uh, what's wrong with Dad?" Lana asked.
"Nothing honey." He replied as he faced his family. "Do you know what this is?"
"A very dirty piece of paper?" Lori said.
"No. This is my one hundredth paycheck! When I got my job at Aloha Comrade, I set a goal to earn one hundred paychecks. And I finally got my hundred one today!"
"Wow. Congratulations Dad." Lincoln said.
"I'm so proud of you dear." Rita said.
"Well, I couldn't have done it without you guys." Lynn Sr. admitted. "If it wasn't for your encouragement, I wouldn't have made it this far. I mean a family like us comes around like once in a lifetime. And for helping me earn my hundredth paycheck, I'm rewarding you guys with a family trip!"
"YAY!" The family cheered.
"Thanks Dad!" Lincoln said.
"This is literally exciting!" Lori said. "Where are we going Dad? Fancy Springs?"
"No."
"Pamper Island?" Luna guessed.
"Try again."
"Ooh! I bet it's the Royal Woods Old Culture Village." Lisa predicted.
"Better than that."
We cut to the Loud family on a boat, wearing fisherman coats and holding fishing poles. Some of them look disappointed.
"Fishing?" Lori said disappointed. "This is the thanks we get for supporting you? Fishing for stinky fish in a stinky old boat on a stinky lagoon?"
"Yeah, you call this fun?" Lola said, disappointed as well.
"Aw come on guys, don't be like that." Lynn Sr. said. "A family at sea with nothing to do but throw their lines in the water, catch a few fish, and then throw them back. Don't you think that's fun?"
"...No." Lisa simply replied.
Some of the family went to sit down on the chairs.
"And to think I could be wearing a powdered wig right now." Lisa said.
"How could this be better than Fresh Springs?" Lori questioned.
"Or Pamper Island?" Luna added.
Lana came up to Lori. "Hey sis, want me to cast here so you can watch me?"
"How about you cast over there so I can ignore you." Lori replied pointing somewhere else.
"Ok." Lana went to the front of the boat to start her fishing with Lincoln and Lynn. She casted her line but it swung back and the hook got caught in Lori's chair as Lori was reading a magazine. Lana took Lori's chair and Lori fell off.
"Lana! Watch where you're swinging that thing!" Lori scolded.
The line hooked onto Lori's shorts and took them off, revealing her undies.
"Lana! Be careful with-" The hook caught onto Lori's hair. A chunk of her hair was torn off causing Lori to scream out in pain. Lori went back her Dad, who was sailing the boat.
"Ok, I wanna go home." Lori said trying back to hold back tears.
Her Dad saw the chunk of hair Lori was missing.
"What happened to you?"
"Lana happened."
Lynn Sr. smiled. "Lori, you've gotta to lighten up. Sure the kid's a bit over eager, but you've gotta learn to roll with the punches, go with the flow, and don't bring anything on a boat that you aren't prepared to lose."
As Lynn Sr. said this, Lana was accidentally throwing things into the water with her fishing hook. She eventually got got her hook caught on Lynn Sr's paycheck which was taped to the back of his pants. He noticed this.
"My paycheck!"
Lana ripped it off, revealing his undies.
"Lana wait!"
But Lana had already tossed it into the water.
"Lana, you've hooked my paycheck on the back swing! Reel it in!"
Suddenly, Lynn Sr. heard music playing. "Oh no. Lana, hurry up and reel it in! Can't you hear the music? That's a 4/4 string ostinato in D minor. Every sailor knows it means death! Reel it in before it's too late!"
Lana starts to reel it in.
"Quicker Lana! The music's getting faster!"
Lynn Sr. opens the doors that show a real life orchestra performing music.
"There you are ya stinkin bilge rats! Stop playing that music! Stop it! Please, I'm begging you!"
It seemed like they couldn't hear him, or they were ignoring him. The rest of the family saw the bad situation as Lana was reeling in the paycheck.
"Come on honey, you can make it!" Lynn Sr. yelled. "Swim to me baby! Come on! Come on! Hurry Lana!"
"Here she comes." Lana said. She then finally got it out of the water. "She made it!"
Lynn Sr. cheered in victory and took back his paycheck. "For a second or two I thought she was a goner."
Just then, a shark jumped over the boat and caught Lynn Sr's paycheck in its mouth before going back into the ocean. Lynn Sr. was shocked. The shark swam away. Lynn Sr. formed tears and broke down crying. The rest of the family walked over to him.
"..So some trip huh Dad." Lori commented.
"Oh you guys, you're not gonna believe this! A giant shark ate my hundredth paycheck and I'll never get it back!"
Lynn Sr. continued to bawl.
"Poor Dad." Leni said. "I've never seen him so upset."
Lynn Sr. cried a stream of tears.
"Oh please. He's such a drama queen." Lola said.
He continues crying.
"Dad, it's just a paycheck." Lori said.
He continues crying.
"Come on man, suck it up!" Lynn said.
He continues crying.
"Dad-" Luan said.
He continues crying.
"Dad, you're flooding the boat." Lucy said.
He continues crying.
"Ok honey, ok! We're help you get your paycheck back." Rita stated.
Lynn Sr. sucked his thumb then stopped. "You will? Great!" He pulls a drain and all his tears go down. "Wait right here."
He leaves and comes back wearing fishing gear. He also has a fishing pole, a net, and a harpoon gun.
"Here's where fishing gets serious."
Soon, the Louds were ready to hunt for the shark. Lynn Sr. was at the top of the boat.
"Ok, you guys man the fishing poles and I'll keep a lookout for Ol Sharkbite." Lynn Sr. instructed.
"Aye aye captain." Lana replied.
"And remember, we don't leave until we catch that shark and rescue my paycheck." Lynn Sr. began to look out for the great white shark.
3 days later
Lynn Sr. was still on the lookout, but he now had a beard and was looking quite dirty. The rest of the family were tired. Lincoln also had a little beard. He ripped it off.
"Ow! That's it!" Lincoln said. "We've been out here for three days and haven't gotten anything to eat! This is hopeless!"
"Yeah, and we've gotta go home to feed the pets." Lana added.
At home, the pets had helped themselves to the food in the fridge. We cut back to the Louds.
"We're literally gonna die out here just because a shark took Dad's stupid paycheck." Lori complained.
"Well, if he wants it back I say we give it to him." Rita said with a sly grin as she takes out a paycheck from her purse. "Know what I mean?"
"Oh, good thinkin Mom." Lola said.
Lynn Sr. was still on the top of the boat on lookout duty.
"Oh Dad!" Lana called.
"Look what we've got!" The family called.
Lynn Sr. gasps. He comes down. "Could it be? My hundredth paycheck?"
He gets excited and starts doing his happy dance. The others join in, thinking they fooled him. Lynn Sr. then wipes his butt with the paycheck but he stops when he realizes something.
"Wait a minute. This isn't my hundredth paycheck."
The others look at each other.
"This is an ordinary paycheck that's been crumbled up, torn slightly, soaked in the lagoon and kissed with crimson red number two semi gloss lipstick."
Leni was holding red lipstick that she used on her lips. "Actually it's crimson red number-"
Lori slapped her in the back of the head.
"I trusted you and you gave me this!" Lynn Sr. said unhappy. "I can't believe my own family would betray me like this!"
He started sobbing again.
"No. We won't be swayed by yours tears anymore." Lola said.
He stopped. "I see. Well, I guess I have no choice but to offer a reward."
"Huh?" Lincoln said confused.
"Yay! Is it a trip to the mall?" Leni wondered.
"Nope. It's this sandwich." Lynn Sr. takes out a sandwich and nails it to a pole.
"A sandwich?" Lori said. "You expect me to bend over backwards for a sandwich?"
"Not just a sandwich." Lynn Sr. takes a plate of sandwiches and throws them in the lagoon. "These sandwiches too."
"Whatever. We've got plenty more to-"
Lynn Sr. smiles threateningly as he holds the entire fridge and drops it into the ocean.
"-eat."
"Now I think we understand each other. Nobody eats until we get my one hundredth paycheck back!"
"Guys, can I have a word with you?" Lori and the others go to the back. "Ok, it's clear that Dad has gone COMPLETELY INSANE!"
"No kidding." Lynn said.
"You could say he's gone overboard." Luan joked. "But seriously, just look at him."
Lynn Sr. was seen crying next to a tombstone that says "R.I.P My hundredth paycheck."
"But guys, he's lost something near and dear to him." Leni said. "Haven't you ever-"
"Look again." Lori said.
Lynn Sr. ripped his shirt off and started eating it.
"OMG. You're right." Leni said worried.
"How do we get outta here?" Lana asked.
"Maybe if we're real quiet, we can sneak over to the lifeboat." Lincoln suggested.
The others agreed. They began to sneak over but they ran screaming at the top of their lungs instead. They all jumped into the lifeboat but Lynn Sr had caught them and managed to tie them all up.
"So you thought you'd skip out on your old man?" Lynn Sr. said. "Even after you promised to help me. I know what you're thinking. It's just a dumb old paycheck. Let's leave the old man, he won't notice."
Lynn Sr. sobbed. The family looked at each other with worried looks.
"Well it's not gonna go down like that." Lynn Sr. stated. "There's only one use for a backstabbing crew like you!"
"Live bait." Lynn Sr. had tied his family to a big piece of plank. They were dangling in the air.
"You're crazy!" Lola yelled. "If that shark didn't come before, what makes you think he'll come now."
Lynn Sr. was now dressed in an orchestra suit. "Oh, he'll come."
The doors open to reveal the orchestra from earlier playing their music. Lynn Sr. was conducting them and used them to attract the shark. The others screamed in terror.
"Honey, I can't believe you're doing this!" Rita shouted. "You have completely out of your mind!"
Lynn Sr. laughed crazily. The shark rose above water and started swimming towards the tied up family members.
"Get us outta here!" Lori yelled.
"Come on Sharkbite! Fresh meat over here!" Lynn Sr. called.
The tied up family members swung and shook, trying to escape their doom.
"Keep thrashing! He likes it!"
The shark came closer.
"Come on Boy! Closer! Almost there!"
The shark opens his mouth and the paycheck is seen on his tongue.
"That's it!" Lynn Sr. closes the doors. The shark freezes in midair just as he is about to devour the family. Lynn Sr. jumps in the shark's mouth and takes back the paycheck. "Aha! Woohoo! I finally got it! I got my one hundredth paycheck!"
The orchestra doors open again and the shark closes its mouth and goes back underwater. The orchestra band has finished performing. The doors close. There was a moment of silence until Lily broke it.
"Da da?" She said concerned.
"Da da is gone Lily." Rita said sadly.
"Gone out of our lives forever." Lincoln said. "...Why couldn't it have been us?!"
The family began crying their hearts out.
"Yeah, Poor Dad!" Lana cried.
"Who will laugh at my terrible jokes now?" Luan questioned sadly.
"He was always number one." Lynn cried.
"He was a rockin Dad." Luna said sadly.
Lucy just silently sobbed.
"Hold me Lori!" Leni cried.
"I wish I could but I can't move my arms." Lori reminded her sadly.
"I don't express inane human emotions very much but this is the most appropriate time to." Lisa sobbed.
"I loved you the most!" Lola cried.
Just then, they heard Lynn Sr. "Hey family!"
They looked down and saw him. Only his head was seen. "Dad!"
"Have you guys met my hundredth paycheck?" He showed his paycheck to them.
"Wow. How'd you get it back?" Lana asked.
"It wasn't easy. Ol Sharkbite is quite the fighter, so eventually we settled on a trade."
"What did you give him?" Rita asked.
Lynn Sr. jumped onto the plank, revealing that he was only in his underwear. "Nothing important." Lynn Sr. laughed, though the rest of the family was left surprised.
Epilogue
The Louds were now sailing home. Lynn Sr. had on some spare fisherman clothes as he sailed the ship. The rest of the family were on top of the ship with him.
"Hey, listen guys." Lynn Sr. said. "I wanna apologize for what I did to all of you. I can't believe I put you danger just to get this stupid paycheck."
"It's ok Dad." Lincoln said. "We're glad you weren't going to let that shark eat us though."
"And if it wasn't for you, I wouldn't have gotten to see a shark up that close." Lana stated.
"Yeah, that was awesome!" Lynn stated. "I can't wait to tell my friends my dad jumped in a shark's mouth."
"I guess this fishing trip wasn't so bad after all." Lola admitted.
"And were just glad you're ok honey." Rita hugged him. The others hugged him too.
"But seriously, if I ever get my hundredth paycheck I'm gonna take us all to Fancy Springs." Lori said. "And I'll bring Bobby Boo Boo bear."