Chpater 38: Lena's Army
Here's a parody that some people have requested. It's a parody of the episode: Plankton's Army. I'd like to give credit to DarthFlores for coming up with the OC Lena and her family. Those characters belong to him.
"Attention Loud siblings, report downstairs immediately!" Lisa announced. All the other siblings went downstairs.
"What's up Lis?" Lincoln asked.
"This better be important." Lola said.
"Oh, it's very important." Lisa replied. "Today's the one year anniversary of the first time my arch enemy Lena Shroud, tried to steal my greatest invention."
We cut to flashbacks of Lena attempting to get Lisa's invention.
"Can I have your greatest invention?" Lena asked.
"No." Lisa replied.
"Pretty please."
"Nuh Uh."
Next, she disguised herself as Cliff the cat and snuck in through the back door. However, Charles was there and was not fooled by the disguise. He attacked Lena. Next, Lena used a science potion to transform into something else. She turned into a cat and Charles mauled her again. Then, she snuck in holding a sign that said "I'm not a cat." But Charles attacked her anyway.
We go back to the present time.
"And as you can see, Lena has always failed." Lisa explained.
"Fascinating." Lola said flatly.
"But so many failures have made her crafty, so keep so your eyes open." Lisa looks around. "You'll never know what trick she'll use to steal my greatest invention."
Then the doorbell rang. Lisa answered the door. "Uh, can I help you sir?"
Lisa saw a robot disguised as a mailman so she got suspicious.
"I have a delivery for Lisa Loud." The robot said.
"But I didn't order anything."
"Oh. Did I say delivery? I meant it's a gift from the Royal Woods Science Museum."
"Well...if it's from the science museum, I'll take accept it."
The robot gave her the box and left. "Have a nice day."
"Hmm, I was sure that was one of Lena's tricks. Oh well, at least I get a gift."
Suddenly the box opened and Lena popped out of it. "Aha!"
"Lena! You knew I would never distrust a gift from the science museum."
"That's right Lisa! Now hand over your greatest invention!"
"...Or what?"
Lena paused. "I don't know. I never thought I'd get this far."
"Well then, allow me to suggest your next move." Lisa whistled and Charles came over. "Sick her boy."
Charles chased Lena down the neighborhood.
"Curse you Loud!"
Lena had been thrown in a dumpster by Charles. She escaped though, looking quite dirty.
"That darn Lisa! Next time I'll...ah, who am I kidding? At least I can go home to a family who understands."
Lena started walking home sadly. She arrived home. Her older brother Max and her older sister Alison were on the couch watching tv and then they noticed her.
"So how did it go?" Her sister asked, expecting the news.
"I don't wanna talk about it." Lena replied and sat down on the floor.
"Talking about it will make you feel better."
"Leave me alone."
"That's your problem. You never let anyone in. Lena the rock, Lena the loner."
"And she's off ladies and gentlemen." Lena said the the viewers as Alison continued talking.
"And that's why everything you try happens like this." Alison took out her phone and showed a video of Lena in a robot suit getting mauled by Charles. "And like this." A video of Lena using a fish hook and then getting pummeled by Charles.
"And more recently, like this." Max shows a video on his phone of Lena getting thrown in the dumpster. All these unsuccessful moments cause Lena to cry.
"I'm a failure!"
"It's not that bad." Alison assured. "You just require a little help. Maybe some henchmen."
"Henchmen?"
"Yes, what you need to do is surround yourself with muscular tough guys who'll do whatever you say."
"I like the sound of that. I'll canvas all the seediest lowbrow dives in town. And I know how to speak their language."
At a dim club, we see tough muscular guys playing pool. Lena enters the scene.
"Félicitations malefactors!" Lena said. "I am endeavoring to misappropriate the formulary for the preparation of affordable comestibles! Who will join me?"
We cut back to the Shroud house and see that Lena had gotten a wedgie. "I don't get it. No matter what I try I always get abused by someone stronger than me."
"Oh, I think you're overreacting." Alison said.
"Yeah, cheer up runt." Max slapped Lena on the back, making her fall over. Alison glared at him. "Heh, sorry."
"That's ok." Lena said getting back up. "I'm no different than the other kindergartens I know. We've always been pushed around." Then Lena gets an idea. "Wait. That's it. Acting alone we're powerless, but united the kindergartens could be a real pain in the fanny!"
Lena goes to a phone book and finds the numbers of all the Royal Woods kindergartens. "Lisa thinks that one kindergarten is no problem. But let's see her take on two, or ten, or a hundred!"
Lena gets to work on contacting all the little kids. She calls their numbers and sends text messages. She even uses a mini airplane to send the message "Calling all toddlers" in the sky.
"I'll gather up all the toddlers I can get. Lisa won't stand a chance against our combined intelligence." The doorbell rings. "They're here!" She answers the door and sees a bunch of toddlers. "Welcome my fellow specimens."
"Hey, look everyone." Said one kid. "It's Lena Shrewd."
"It's Shroud." Lena corrected.
"Oh. It's Lena Loud." Another kid said.
"No, it's Shroud."
"Proud?" Said another kid.
"Shroud! With an S!"
"...Schroeder?" Said one kid.
Lena facepalms. "Ah, forget it! Anyway, come inside and make yourselves at home."
The young kids enter the house. Alison is in the living room.
"Guys, I'd like you to meet my sister Alison." Lena said.
"Gosh, she sure is pretty." One kid said.
Alison blushed. "Oh, well thank you."
One little girl saw Lena's certificate from the Science Institute. It revealed Lena's full name.
"Hey Lena, can I call you Shelby?" The girl asked.
"How did you find out my middle name?" Lena asked surprised. The girl pointed at the certificate.
"Wait, your middle name is Shelby?" Another kid said and started laughing. Lena looked annoyed.
"Will you please?"
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry." The kid stopped laughing.
"Alright, as I was saying-"
The boy started laughing again.
"Ok, we all know Shelby's a funny name."
The kid stopped. "Ok, I'm done. No more."
"Good." Lena clears her throat and begins to discuss with the kindergartens. However, her sister Alison gets out a tablet and shows Lena's middle name to the toddlers while Lena's back is turned.
"To continue, only you can bring honor-"
The toddlers laugh. Lena turns around but Alison pulls the tablet away and smiles innocently. Lena turns to the kids.
"And dignity-"
Alison shows Lena's middle name to the kids again but this time there's a finger pointing at Lena. The kids laugh at this. Lena turns around but Alison hides the tablet. Lena turns to the kids.
"Back to the kindergartens of Royal Woods-"
Alison shows Lena's middle name with changing colors and an arrow pointing. The kids laugh again. Lena turns around quicker but Alison quickly hides the tablet again. Lena turns to the kids looking irritated.
"For a year, it has been my goal to acquire the secret invention for-" Alison once again shows Lena's middle name. This time in a bigger text and stars. The kids laugh once again but this time Lena is able to catch her sister in her act. "Aha!"
Alison laughs.
"Ok! That's enough!" Lena pushes her older sister out of the living room as her sister laughs.
Lena goes back to the kindergartens. "Bottom line. We invade the Loud House and get back my secret invention...that Lisa Loud stole. Whaddya say?"
Lena obviously made up the part about Lisa stealing an invention.
"Lisa stole from you?" Darcy asked, as she was one of the kindergartens. "That's mean!"
"Yep. She was jealous of me." Lena fibbed.
"But what's in it for us?" One kid asked.
"Yeah!" The other kids agreed.
"Well, What do you want?" Lena asked.
"How about new laces for my shoe?" One kid said showing one of his shoes didn't have laces.
"And another bow for my hair." One girl said showing her hair had lots of bows in it.
"And a new charger for my phone." One boy said showing his phone.
"And what about ice cream?" Another boy said.
"ICE CREAM?!" The made all the toddlers excited.
"Help me get back my invention and you can have all the ice cream you want!" Lena declared.
The kids cheered loudly. Lena smiled evilly. "Victory thy name is Lena Shroud!"
Lena turned towards the kids and was unaware that there was a piece of paper on her back with her middle name written on it.
Back at the Loud House, the siblings are all watching TV in the living room.
"Well siblings, I haven't my diabolical arch rival for hours now." Lisa stated. "I think she's finally given up for-"
"Attention Loud family! This is your better speaking!" Lena was outside talking into a megaphone. "I have your property surrounded! Give me the greatest invention or I'll destroy your home!"
Lisa opened the door. Her siblings came over to. "Hah! You and what army Shroud?"
"I'm glad you asked." Lena whistled and the kindergartens showed up. Some of them came out of the tree in the front yard.
"What now Loud?"
"Uh oh." Lisa said worried. The siblings ran inside the house screaming and Lena's army charged after them. They managed to tie up the siblings with rope. Now they were all in the Lisa and Lily's room.
"You'll never get away with it Lena!" Lisa said.
"You're right." Lena said. "We could've used something stronger. Like chains. Besides, what I really want is that secret invention."
"Well you might as well forget it. That invention is locked away in my closet which requires a password. And I'll never tell it to you!"
"Silence!" Lena zapped Lisa with a laser. "I think I'm more than capable enough of figuring it out myself."
She went to the closet but noticed the lock was out of her reach. "Can I get a little help over here?"
One tall kid lifted her up so she could reach. Lena typed in the word "poo poo."
"Access granted." The screen voice was heard.
"Dang it." Lisa said.
The closet opened up. Inside, there was a box glowing, which must have contained the invention.
"Jackpot!" Lena said. She pushed the box out. "It's mine! It's mine! After a whole year, it's finally mine! Let it be known that on this day, I, Lena Shroud have single handedly overthrew the Loud House."
"Ahem!" Lena looked at the kindergartens who were glaring at her.
"But of course I had some help from you guys too."
"Lena, wait!" Lisa said. "You can't look inside that box!"
"Begging won't help." Lena replied.
"I'm telling you. You won't be able to handle the truth. There are things in this world that weren't meant for mortal eyes."
"I see...but I don't care. Drumroll please!"
One kid gave her a drumroll. Lena sees a lock on the box.
"Anyone got a hairpin?" One girl gave Lena a hairpin. Lena used it to open the lock.
"Lena! I'm warning you!" Lisa warned.
But Lena didn't listen. She opened the box and pull something out. It looked like some kind of bomb.
"What the heck is this?" Lena asked.
Suddenly, the bomb exploded and the disgusting smell of dirty diapers filled the air. Outside, Lena ran out screaming and went far away. The other toddlers ran out screaming as well. Except for one boy.
"Hey, why aren't you running?" Lisa asked.
"I like the smell." He replied.
"Get outta here."
The boy left the house. The siblings managed to get out of the ropes and out of Lisa's room. They coughed and gagged.
"That was nasty!" Lynn said.
"Yeah!" Lincoln agreed. "Was that actually your greatest invention?"
"Of course not. It was just a dirty diaper from Lily." Lisa said. "And a prank from Luan."
"You're welcome." Luan said.
"But Lena will probably figure that out and be back to find out what the real invention is. But don't worry guys, my greatest invention is safe from harm. I've got it hidden in my most secret hiding place. A place no one, not even Lena would figure out." Lisa smiles smugly.
"Let me guess." Lori said. "It's in your bunker outside."
Lisa was surprised. She ran outside to her bunker. "Curse you Lori!"