The Dragon Philosopher

The knights of Dreamland fished Akane and her crew out of the water and quickly cuffed them. Pendergast, Turbish, and Mertz escorted them to the castle and led them into the dungeons. As they walked, Akane heard the sounds of chains rattling in one of the cells and turned her head to see a whithered, old-looking man with no eyes laughing uncontrollably. "Oooh? New prisoners! Do they acquire the need for touch? Don't be shy! I don't bite! Hahahahah!" Akane looked at the man in disgust and shivered. Akane and her crew are placed in individual cells and await to be confronted by the king. Once Pendergast informed Odval about Akane's capture, he hurried to King Zog and attempted to wake him. Odval shook Zog gently at first,

"Your Highness, the Kingdom was under attack. We captured the invaders!" said Odval, loudly.

Zog just continued to snore.

"Your Highness!" Odval shouted louder and shook him harder. Zog would snore louder.

"Step aside," said Oona.

Odval stepped aside, and Oona stood before Zog. She raises her hand and slaps in the face, immediately waking Zog. "WHAT THE? WHO'S THERE? WHAT HAPPENED?" He looked around the room frantically. "Why does my face hurt?"

"It's all in the swing," Oona told Odval.

"I'll remember that when I have nothing to live for," Odval replied.

"Aw man, I was sleeping so good," Zog frowned. His face then bore a look of anger. "The Kingdom better have been invaded."

"It was," said Odval. "We captured the invaders. They are a part of the dark legion."

Zog gasped loudly. "Holy smokes! The Dark Legion?!"

"Yes, sire,"

"What the hell is the Dark Legion?"

Odval sighed. "I'll explain on the way to the dungeon."

Zog put on his royal attire and headed straight for the dungeons. He walked over to the cell holding Akane, and there she sat, chained to the wall and keeping her poker face strong. "Open it up!" he barked at the guards. The guards grabbed the keys from the waist and unlocked the cell door, and Zog stormed in. Zog towered over Akane and glared down at the Lieutenant.

"So…this little girl is the one who tried to attack my kingdom?" Zog snarled. "And got punched out, my daughter? HA! Ain't so tough now, are you?"

"Kutabare, futotta buta!" Fuck you, fat pig) Akane spat.

Zog looked confused. "Say wha?"

"Kimi no Iki ga kuso kusai!" (Your breath stinks!)

"What the hell is this? That isn't English!" Zog looked over at Odval.

"It seems to be her native language, sire," said Odval. "Although she can speak English from what I know."

Zog turned back to Akane and crossed his arms. "Ooooh, you wanna play dumb, eh? Well, we have ways of dealing with people who play dumb! STAAAAAN!"

"Yes, sire!" said the tall, round-belly man named Stan, the executioner, wearing his black executioner mask.

"Get ready to do your thing! And make sure it's slow and steady!" said Zog.

"Will do, sire!" said Stan, happily. He walks over to a bookshelf and grabs a book off of it. The executioner walks into the cell and sits down next to Akane. "So which one would you like? The knee splitter? Rats? Oh! This one is a personal favorite to many! The best dad jokes of the 13th century!"

Akane just let out an annoyed sigh.

After Zog leaves the dungeons, he heads to the astronomy tower with Odval. Zog burst open the doors, causing Sorcerio to jolt and fall off the ladder and into his pile of books.

"Sorcerio!" Zog bellowed.

"Y-Yes, your majesty! I'm right here!" said the scientific advisor.

"What's the status of the elixir of life?!"

"Um um…ummm…" Sorcerio turned his head to his desk. One of the tubes filled with a pink liquid began to overflow out of the conical flask and explode completely, covering Zog, Sorcerio himself, Odval, and the whole room in a pink substance.

"This better be the elixir of life…" Zog growled.

"I wish it was the elixir of death, you fat oaf!" Sorcerio snapped. He quickly covered his mouth, and Odval's eyes widened.

"What?!" Zog glared at Sorcerio.

"My apologies, your majesty…It seems that I accidentally created a truth serum!" said Sorcerio.

"You mean to tell me that you've had elf blood for months, and this is all you've had to show for it?!" Zog ranted as his face began to turn red with anger.

"Well…I created a shampoo that can make any animal laugh," said Sorcerio, gesturing towards the horse, whose hair was being washed by Miri.

The horse girns, showing its teeth and letting out a joyful laugh. Miri sighed. "It gets really old after a while…"

"How do we know it didn't always do that?" Zog scowls at Sorcerio.

"To be fair, your Highness, something like the elixir of life is complicated to—oh, here comes the fist," Odval leans back, avoiding Zog's heavy swing.

"Make me the elixir of life by the end of this week, or I'll throw you in a wizard-proof cage, which, for you, is a cardboard box with a brick on it!" Zog roared as he stormed out of the room, and the horse laughed loudly.

Odval glared at the horse. "We have to remember to dispose of that horse…"

Meanwhile, Bean, Elfo, and Luci sat in the knight's barracks, watching bunty patch the wounds around Koga's sides. Other castle workers tended to other knights involved in the battle at the docks. Bunty smiled as she finished tending to Koga and patted his head.

"All done, dearie!" Bunty placed the bloody rags in her wash bin and left the room.

Elfo looked at Koga. "Every time I see your scared-up body, I always wonder how you're not dead yet,"

"I never think about it too much," said Koga, grabbing his stitched-up pancho and placing it on.

"Would've been made into Swiss cheese if it wasn't for Princess right hook over here," said Luci, gesturing to Bean.

"Yeah, Koga, you're welcome!" stated Bean. "I still haven't heard a thank you, by the way."

Koga turned to Bean. "Thank you for what? I had that under control,"

"Did not!" Bean objected.

"Just because I get stabbed doesn't mean I lost the fight. Technically, I didn't lose that fight. You interfered."

"Oh, you gotta be kidding me! Are you seriously not going to admit that I saved your ass?" The Princess shoots a sharp glare at Koga.

"I didn't need saving when I wasn't in trouble…" The wanderer stated

"You're just mad because I took out someone you were having a hard time fighting with just one punch," said Bean, grinning with much smugness in her tone.

Koga lets out a low, annoyed growl. "That's because she was already tired from fighting me…"

"You know Koga, you can admit when you lost, right?" said Elfo. "I'm just glad you didn't di—"

Koga snaps his eyes onto the Elf. "Lose? I didn't lose that fight! Bean jumped in when she didn't need to!"

"What about that time you got tossed over a cliff?" Luci asked. "You lost that."

"No, I wasn't in full health. That fight didn't count," Koga turned and glared at Luci.

"So? You still chucked off a cliff," Luci cackled.

"Listen here, you little shi—"

"Uh, hey guys," said Mertz, peaking his head into the room.

"What do you want, Mertz?!" said Koga angrily.

"A messenger turkey just arrived. You got a message from the plague doctor saying that guy you brought to them woke up? He said to come get the guy before he starts dissecting him." Mertz turned and walked off.

"I'm not going to lie…I completely forgot about that guy," said Luci.

"Wait, what are we going to do with him after we pick him up?" asked Elfo.

Bean shrugged. "I don't know…we at least gotta see why he was getting chased by those dark legion guys."

"Enough rambling already. Let's go get this guy and figure out who the hell he is," said Koga irritably as he grabbed his swords and hurried out of the room.

"He's really upset," said Elfo.

"Ugh, I swear men are so stubborn," said Bean as she, Elfo, and Luci followed Koga out of the room and headed into town.

The group arrived at the Apothecary and stepped into the building. The front lobby was empty. Elfo walked around and stared at the items on the shelf, and Bean tapped on the bell.

"Helloooo! We're here!" Bean called out.

Elfo picks up a bottle off the shelf. "Oh wow, look at this! Strawberry-flavored plague medicine!" He reads the back of the label. "Side-effects include headache, nausea, stomach pain and…" He squints his eyes. "Death?!"

"I'll have to remember to come back and pick this up," said Luci.

"Where the hell is that plague doctor," said Koga, impatiently.

"AHHHHHHHHHH!"

Bean, Elfo, Luci, and Koga looked towards the entrance to the back. The plague ran out from the back, covered in flames. The doctor runs into a wall and falls over. The fire would disappear, and he lay on the floor groaning in pain.

Elfo chuckled. "Talk about a hot entrance, right?" He nudges Luci. The sub demon would reply with a swift tail smack to the back of the Elf's head. "OW! What I do?!"

Koga grips his sword, and he slowly walks to the entrance to the back room. The wanderer pulls back the curtains to see Oscar sitting on the table's edge. The older man looked at Koga.

"You don't look like a scary plague doctor trying to dissect me. Would you mind getting me some water? I'm quite thirsty." Oscar clicked his tongue. "I could go for some food too…" Bean, Elfo, and Luci stepped in. Oscar looked at the trio and gasped when his eyes fell upon Elfo. "Merlins beard. Is that an Elf?!"

"Hi! I'm Elfo!" Elfo waved at Oscar.

Oscar gets off the table, hurries over to Elfo, and kneels. He placed his hands around Elfo's cheeks and began softly petting him. "It has been centuries since an Elf has been scene…my goodness…I can't believe my eyes!"

Elfo giggled. "Hey, stop that tickles! You're tickling me!" Elfo stops laughing as Oscar's hand goes lower. "Ok, I'm getting uncomfortable. That's enough." The Elf shoves Oscar's hands away.

Oscar looks over at Luci. "And a demon, too? You are a unique group of people, huh?"

"Wow, that's the second time someone noticed I'm a demon, not a cat," said Luci.

"Were you the one who set the plague doctor on fire?" Bean asked.

"It was a reflex," said Oscar. "I wake up in pain, and I see him standing over me with a scalpel. You could imagine the fear I was feeling. He's ok, isn't he?"

"Eh, he'll live," The sub demon replied.

"How did you do that? Was it magic?" Elfo asked.

"Yes!" Oscar nods with a smile. He holds his hand, and a ball of fire appears in his palm.

Bean looked at the ball of fire and gasped. "Are you a wizard?"

"Indeed I am," said Oscar proudly. "My name is Oscar. I'm a retired grand wizard and a dragon philosopher who's found himself in an odd situation. It has been…quite an interesting few months, to say the least."

"Oscar?" said Koga. "Why does it feel like I've heard that name somewhere before?"

"Wait a minute…Oscar…Oscar…" Elfo places his hand on his chin. He snaps his fingers as the memory returns to his head. "Did you have an underground layer with a room full of books?"

"Oh yeah, I remember that!" said Bean.

Oscar's eyes widened. "My secret study quarters…" He began to panic. "Oh my god, did you find a metal box on the table? Was It still there?"

"You mean that tin box that had that weird-looking key in it? Yeah, it was still there," said Bean.

"Oh, thank goodness…" Oscar placed his hand on his chest. "Wait a moment…does that mean one of you have it? Please tell me you still have the key!"

Bean, Elfo and Luci look over at Koga. Koga looks at them and looks at Oscar. "Yeah, I still have it. It's my room, hidden."

"Oh…thank goodness…I thought it fell into the hands of the Order of the Sword!" said Oscar, relieved.

"Yeah, you don't have to worry about them. Koga killed the leader," said Luci. "He cut his stomach open, and all of his guts fell out."

"Ew…" Elfo shivered.

"And the dark legion lieutenant killed the rest…" Oscar added on. "They almost took me too if I didn't act quickly…" He rested his elbow on his right thigh and leaned his head into the palm of his right hand.

"So…can you tell us anything about that key that Koga has?" said Bean. "Because—"

Suddenly, Oscar swayed, and he fell forward. Koga quickly caught him before he hit the ground. The former grand wizard mumbled under his breath. "So…hungry…so…thirsty…"

Koga looks at the trio. "We need to get this guy some food and something to drink."

Elfo looks up at Bean. "You guys got any money?"

Bean shook her head. "I haven't had coin on me for a while,"

Luci looked at Bean and Elfo. "I spent all of my money."

The trio looked at Koga.

Koga scowled. "Goddamn it…"

The group left the Apothecary and hurried to the closest restaurant. They sat at a table in the back, watched Oscar stuffed his face with turkey legs bread, and drank mug after mug of water. Oscar lets out a blissful sigh as he rubs his stomach, full of food.

"I haven't eaten that good in months. I always fed scraps of half-eaten molded bread. I thank you all for this," said Oscar, sincerely.

"That was nice of you, Koga!" Elfo smiled at him.

"That was half of my paycheck…" said Koga, frowning.

"Such is the way of life," said Luci.

"Not to worry, young man, I promise to pay you back! How? Well, I'll think of something soon enough," The former grand wizard takes another bite out of his bread.

"You have one hundred gold coins?" Koga asked.

"No, but I have a lot of knowledge!"

"How can I spend knowledge?"

"What, you never took up trading?"

"Oh, I want some knowledge!" said Elfo, raising his hand and hopping up and down in his seat. "So, you said you're a dragon philosopher, right? Maybe you can tell us about a dragon we saw a few months ago!"

Oscar's eyes widened. "You all saw a dragon?"

Bean nods. "Yeah, it was so beautiful! It had looong purple hair and white skin, with purple coloring around its arms! Man, I wonder where that Dragon is now."

"I'm sure the egg it had has hatched by now," Elfo said.

"It had an egg, too? So some of the dragons do reproduce asexually…" Oscar rubs his chin. "I've always wondered about that." Oscar placed his attention back on the group. "I've only ever seen that particular Dragon you spoke of once. It was the Dragon that sparked my interest in wanting to know more. I've always wondered where it came from and if I'll ever see it again."

"By the way, we also went to the bedrock kingdom," said Koga. "We discovered that the war between humanity and dragons occurred there. We ended up escorting someone, Diana Ironheart, to help her retrieve a few things. Does her name ring a bell to you at all?"

"The name, Ironheart, yes. So, Gregory Ironheart ended up settling down after all and had a kid. Good for him," Oscar smiled warmly.

"He's dead," said Luci, blanked-faced.

"Oh…" The grand wizard frowned. "Well…that's too bad. I'm glad his daughter is well, at least. Anyways, yes, one of the great battles took place there. However, the bedrock kingdom was only the start. This took place In multiple parts of the world. This war destroyed lands and leveled kingdoms. This caused substantial parts of history to be lost forever… essential history that even involves this war."

"So, how much do you know about Dragons?" Elfo asked.

"Well, from the bones I discovered on my travels, there were humanoid dragons that could stand up like humans. Not all Dragons walk on all fours. Some also don't breathe, just fire," Oscar explained.

"Oh yeah, that's what Diana told us too," said Luci. "They breathe fire, lightning, ice, and other obscure magic."

"And they can breathe poison, plague, and water! I, thankfully, didn't get caught up around those corpses," Oscar shivered at the thought.

"So, how did you find that key?" Bean asked. "I mean, I'm sure you didn't find something important like that lying around."

"It was by accident, funny enough. I was traveling, just minding my own business, when I realized something about the environment was off. The soil was out of line, and some trees looked distorted. That's when I realized someone placed an invisible barrier in the area. I know of spells that make you slightly invisible, but to completely hide a whole area was astonishing."

"Wait…a spell to hide a whole area? That sounds like the magic we use to hide Elfwood!" said Elfo.

"It's Elf magic?" said Oscar, surprised. "That's an interesting discovery. Tell me, umm…"

"Elfo,"

"Right, Elfo, does your Kingdom have an emblem that resembles—"

"Candy? Licorice? Gum drops?"

"Uhh…no…it's the symbol of a tree I saw. It was on the box with the key to the Dragon's domain."

"Oh…um…no, that's not the elves symbol," said Elfo. "But…the magic that hid that area belongs to the elves."

"Intriguing…very intriguing. Speaking of elves...I did find something odd when studying dragon corpses. Far away from this land in one of many battlefields...I found the corpses of elves."

Elfo's mouth opened a bit in shock. "Wait...what?"

"Elves were fighting the dragons too?" Bean asked.

"Well...from what I've gathered...they were never eaten or seemed to be burned in any way. There were also a few other corpses of what appeared to be...other creatures with them. But there were a lot of elf corpses next to the remains of Dragons."

"B-But why? That doesn't make any sense. What were they fighting together?" Elfo asked eagerly.

"It's a possibility, but I never got to study further. The Order of the Sword kidnapped me around that time," said Oscar. "But, now that I'm free, I can continue my studies!"

"Let us come with you!" said Elfo excitedly. "I've always wondered if there were other purposes that us Elves had in this world besides making candy! This information could be huge! Uh," He turns to Bean, Luci, and Koga. "I mean...if that's ok with you guys..."

"Travel the world and research dragons while solving a mystery? Heck yeah, count me in!" said Bean excitedly.

"Hm...sounds fun to me. Why not?" Koga shrugged.

"Eh, I'm down for whatever. I also get to see if Elfo's dreams get crushed, so that's a plus!" said Luci.

The former grand wizard smiled at the group. His attention was then placed upon the entrance of the restaurant as Odval and Sorcerio stepped into the restaurant.

"Oh, I don't know what to do, Oddie! I can't work around this elf blood!" said Sorcerio, stressed.

"Come now, Socerio. As friend and lover, there is none truer than you." Odval said, patting his back softly.

"Sorcerio? Sorcerio, is that you?!" Oscar springs from his seat.

Sorcerio looked to the back of the restaurant, scanning for who called his name. Once his eyes fell upon Oscar, he gasped. "Oscar? Professor Oscar? Do my eyes deceive me?!"

Oscar left the table and walked over to Sorcerio, bringing him into a big hug. "It's been years since I've seen you! The last time we saw each other, you had fewer wrinkles!" He laughed.

"And the last time I saw you, you had more hair!" Sorcerio said, sharing in the laugh.

"Umm, Sorcerio, do you mind introducing me?" Odval said, eyeing down Oscar carefully.

"Odval, this is my old teacher, Oscar! He taught at the young wizard academy when I was a teenager!" said Sorcerio. "Although it surprises me that you're still alive!"

"I'm surprised myself! I've been captured, tortured, and had tomatoes thrown at me. But, besides all of that, I've been pretty good! What about you, Sorcerio?"

"I've been doing fine myself. I landed this job in the Kingdom as a court wizard. He's tasked me with experimenting with Elf's blood, which has not been easy." said Sorcerio, rubbing his forehead.

"Experimenting with an elf?" Oscar turned to look at Elfo and then back at Sorcerio. "That's deplorable Sorcerio! How could you do such a thing to a sacred specimen?" He frowned at Sorcerio. "Can I see what you have so far?"

"Sure!" Sorcerio smiled. "Come on, Elfo! We're going to need some more blood!"

"Ok!" said Elfo happily, hopping off the chair and following the former grand wizard Sorcerio out of the restaurant.

"Well…he's not going to look green for a while…" said Luci. "Imma go watch him get drained!" The sub-demon leaves the table and follows after them.

Bean turned to Koga. The Princess smiled at Koga and gleamed at him. "Heeey Koga…mind buying me a drink please?"

Koga just stared at Bean.

"Hey, don't give that look. You owe me drinks for a month, remember?"

"Ugh…"

Meanwhile, in the Knights barracks

"Mertz, you know Koga doesn't allow anyone in his room," said Turbish timidly. "Last time we were here, he hit us hard in the stomach. I still have his fist print on my stomach."

"It's worth it! I know he hides food in here somewhere…and I'm starving. I'm sick of that guy acting like he's so high and mighty! We'll show him!" said Mertz. The knight heads to Koga's bedside and looks around his belongings. "He wouldn't notice one piece of bread gone…" He moves aside a few pudding cups. "Jeez, how many pudding cups do you need?"

Turbish looks at the bedroom door anxiously. "Hurry, Mertz!"

"I'm going as fast as I can—what the heck is this?" said Mertz. He grabbed an item that was wrapped in a brown cloth. He unwraps it, and his eyes widen. It was an odd key-shaped item covered in black and red Dragon hide.

In Mertz's hand was the key to the Dragon's world.