A/N: It's taken me a while to get back into the swing of things, but I guess I'm back!
Also I spent my entire trip writing on my phone, I've gotten way too used to autocorrect doing everything for me, so if there's glaring grammar mistakes... that's why.
Hey, I'm guessing you're in London by now, hope you had a good flight. Good luck with training, I can't wait for July 29th! AH! I can't believe my best friend is at the Olympics! – Lani
I hope you had a good flight, and I also hope you're raising hell in the Olympic Village on my behalf. Just kidding. Go kick ass - Will
JJ didn't know whether she was going to burst into tears or throw up when she walked into the training hall that morning. The ream of 'good luck, hope you arrived safely' texts had streamed in constantly overnight, but instead of building her confidence up, they had only made her bury her head further beneath the covers while Aly slept soundly on in the bed beside her.
When Martha stopped walking at the edge of the floor and allowed them to file past her, she quickly ducked her head, training her gaze on the floor. Her eyes were still puffy and sore from her meltdown the previous evening, and she was pale from lack of sleep. She'd spent the majority of the night buried beneath her covers, fretting about whether she was going to be replaced that morning. Her heart rate seemed to be running steadily above its usual rate, and no amount of breathing techniques or relaxing thoughts was bringing it back down.
"Good morning girls. We will start with our usual regimen of strength and conditioning, but before that, we must warm up. I trust you know that taking care of your bodies is very important in these coming weeks. Please warm up properly and adequately to reduce chances of injury," Martha said in a calm voice as she looked at her five girls. "Mihai, could I ask you to direct their warm up please?"
Mihai nodded, stepping up from the group of coaches as the girls spread out across the edge of the floor.
"JJ," Martha said softly as Mihai took charge. "Come with me please"
Her heart pounded even louder in her chest as she slowly walked over to join Martha. The team coordinator beckoned for Nick to join them, and silently, the three of them walked over to the door, before exiting into the small hallway outside.
JJ felt as though she was hardly breathing as Martha came to a stop in the hallway and turned to face her. Her eyes were threatening to burn with more tears, and she willed herself to just keep it together.
"JJ, I noticed when we left the Village that you are looking a little rough this morning," Martha said gently, the hardened edge suddenly gone from her voice. "Are you upset from yesterday in training?"
JJ nodded, swallowing hard as she lifted her watery red eyes up to the esteemed leader.
"I won't deny that yesterday was a rough day. I asked a lot from you girls to be doing routines after our flight. But one bad training day does not normally upset you so much... is everything ok?"
Taking a deep breath, JJ clenched her hands into fists as she tried to keep her composure long enough to speak to Martha.
"I... yesterday was... really bad, and... I feel like it was worth being replaced by one of the other girls," she said quietly, her voice catching in her throat as the tears began to well in her eyes again. She crumpled, dropping her face down to her hands as she tried to pull herself back together. God knows if she didn't, Martha would definitely have reason to believe she was packing it in under pressure.
She looked up again when a pair of hands came to rest on her shoulders, finding herself eye to eye with Martha, who looked at worst, concerned.
"I don't want you to doubt yourself, JJ. There is a good reason I put you on the team. You have beautiful gymnastics and I know you hit when I need it," Marta said softly. "I am not going to replace you. Yesterday, we were all tired, and I know when you are tired it is hard to perform at your best. I do not want you to be worrying yourself with whether you will be on the team... you earned your place over others, and I intend to keep you on the team unless you are injured to the point of physically being unable to do so. Which I do not expect to happen"
She chuckled slightly before speaking again. "The Olympics are little bit scary, I know. But they also to be most incredible moments of your life"
JJ nodded, managing the smallest of smiles as she reached up to wipe away a tear. Nick brought a hand to her back, providing a small gesture of comfort and support.
"So many people seem to think Jordyn should be here instead of me," she said, her voice barely above a whisper.
"I am aware," Martha replied gently. "But I want you to forget about that... because I have always wanted you on this team. I fought for you to be chosen over Jordyn after Trials, after I saw how you both performed"
JJ looked up in surprise. "Really?"
Martha nodded. "Oh yes"
"So Gabby, Aly and Kyla are definites. McKayla?" Steve said.
"McKayla's only true potential is on vault. She might be able to do floor in the team final, but beyond that, she can't contribute anywhere else," Martha rebutted.
"That's true, but she also adds an almost guaranteed gold medal on vault," Terin countered. "And her floor is quite useable in the final"
Martha let out a sigh. "Ok… so we have two all-arounders, one who can't do bars in the team final, a bars and beam specialist, and a vault specialist. We need a third all-arounder… preferably one who can boost our numbers on bars and beam because that is where our scores will suffer if McKayla is on the team"
"So it's down to Jordyn or JJ," Steve said quietly. "Jordyn is the stronger all-arounder of the two I think… she is the reigning all-around world champion"
"Yes, but JJ finished ahead of her in the standings. And she's much stronger on bars and beam… we can use her on both events in the team final, whereas if we take Jordyn, we could lose up to a point in potential," Martha said firmly.
"Jordyn can make it up on vault and floor," Steve countered.
"Vault doesn't matter either way, I wouldn't use JJ on vault in the final, so either way it goes, we have three Amanars in the lineup. But floor… Steve, she outscored Jordyn on floor as well. Her execution is just better. She's cleaner, tidier. What she lacks in difficulty, she makes up for in execution. And it's not like she's weak in difficulty either!"
"What about the all-around? Jordyn could get us a second spot there," Terin added.
"Either team would qualify two all-arounders into the final between Gabby, Aly, or Jordyn… JJ could sneak in as well, she did outscore Aly at Nationals," Martha said, her voice much quieter. "Provided there's no disasters, we should have two in the all-around final regardless. You're forgetting that JJ also adds potential for three event medals as well. Jordyn could possibly medal on beam or floor, but I think JJ and Aly would beat her into the finals"
"Jordyn shows the most potential for an all-around medal, even a win. And she can contribute everywhere in the team final if we need her to"
"So can JJ," Martha reminded them.
Steve and Terin glanced at each other, Steve letting out a long sigh.
"You really want to do this Martha? Leave the reigning world champion at home?"
Martha glanced down at her papers, before looking up at Steve and Terin, slowly nodding.
"If she was as strong as she was in September, she would be on the team… she is still a strong gymnast who would absolutely be the sixth member if I could take six. But honestly… she's shown me that others can outscore her and show more consistency. It breaks my heart to leave her behind… but JJ needs to be on this team"
Steve nodded once, picking up his papers.
"So that's our team?" Steve Penny asked from the corner of the room. "Gabby, Aly, Kyla, McKayla, and JJ?"
Martha nodded.
"That's the team"
As the reality of Martha's confidence in her washed over her, JJ found herself automatically beginning to relax.
"I am going to keep you off of full routines this morning. I want you to train skills, work on strength and conditioning, but most importantly, keep your head in check. This afternoon, we will revisit routines, ok?"
"Ok," JJ said softly. Martha gave her a smile, patting her cheek before turning and heading back into the hall.
JJ let out a long breath as Nick moved to stand in front of her. He looked much calmer than she had seen him the previous day, and she even managed to shoot him a weak smile.
"I always tell you that you're your own worst enemy," he said gently, a hint of a smile playing in the corners of his mouth. "The day you actually believe in yourself is going to turn the world of gymnastics upside down"
JJ let out a little giggle, allowing her coach to give her a quick squeeze of support before the two of them followed in Martha's footsteps and headed back into the training hall.
When she finally collapsed into her bed at the end of the day, freshly showered and her appetite quenched, she heaved a sigh of relief.
The afternoon training had been a drastic improvement on her routines the previous day. She hadn't fallen once, and aside from a short landing or two on floor, she had actually been quite up to standard.
Her phone buzzed with a text, pulling her attention over to her nightstand. She picked the device up, smiling to see a message from her mom lighting up the screen. Without even reading it, she opened up her phone, pressing the option to call her mom back before lifting the phone to her ear.
Less than five seconds later, Sandy picked up.
"Hey sweet girl. I didn't know if you'd still be awake, since I imagine you girls are being worked to the grindstone right now"
JJ giggled. "Something like that. It's only eight though, I'll be asleep by nine"
"So how have your first two days been? How was your flight?"
"The flight was fine. Heathrow was a little crazy, so I'd be prepared for that when you get here," JJ replied. She paused for a moment, wondering whether she wanted to tell her mom everything... she didn't want to worry her, make her think she was caving under the pressure... but she also wanted her mom to know that she really was ok, that her position on the team was solid.
"It's been a little crazy... I... yesterday's training was a bit of a disaster and I had a total meltdown over it last night... but Martha spoke to me this morning and I'm ok. I think I was just tired... and I was worried that performing so badly would make Martha want to replace me"
"Oh sweetheart... as long as you're ok now. You always do this to yourself, you just need to have a little more faith in yourself"
"Pretty much what Nick said as well," JJ affirmed. "But I'm ok"
"Good. That's what matters"
"We have a bit of an issue too... McKayla broke her toe yesterday. Or I say broke, she actually rebroke the toe she originally injured in May"
"Oh my god! How did she manage that on the first day?"
"She was doing a dismount off beam, and when she punched, her heels were way off the end of the beam, meaning she only punched off her toes. Fractured it straight down the middle"
"Ouch"
"Yeah. So she was supposed to be doing floor in the team final with me and Aly, but now it looks like Gabby will have to do all-around in the team final unless Kyla's floor is well received by the international judges. McKayla will still do vault, but she's in a lot of pain"
"Good grief. I hope they have her resting"
"She is. Larry had a look at her foot and said as long as she straps it up well, it'll stay stable for competition, but she needs to train as little as possible between now and the opening ceremony"
"Well, you guys are off to a good start," Sandy chuckled. "But I'm glad to hear you're alright baby girl. I hope tomorrow is an even better day"
"Thanks Mom"
"And you'll be eighteen on Sunday! As proud as I am of you making the Olympic team, I'm a little miffed it means you're not with us on your eighteenth"
JJ laughed. "Well, as long as I'm with you on my twenty first, right? That's the important one"
"I suppose, but still. They better give you a cake. I've put all your presents on your bed for when you get home"
JJ grinned. "I wouldn't hold your breath for a cake, but we'll see"
"Yes we will. Now I'm going to let you go, because you need to be getting enough sleep, ok? But I love you so much, and I'm so proud of you. I can't wait to see you compete next Sunday"
"Thanks Mom. I love you too"