It's dark and gloomy in the morning which reflects my mood perfectly. Angela came in this morning to inform me that the prince of Elisor would be arriving tomorrow and so would Jasper's betrothed, the eldest daughter of a royal family to the east. I assume this means that I would be accompanying the prince with whatever business he has until the end of his visit, which would be in two days time.
I flop back on my bed, watching the clouds move slowly towards the castle from the mountains. I was fully intent on spending the day, reading and throwing myself a pity party, but I can't seem to focus on any of the words on the page. Ever since Masen came into my life a week ago, the imaginary world I had become so reliant on for my escape holds no interest and has instead been replaced by a green-eyed man who I should be doing everything in my power to stay away from. Was it the fact that I could never actually be with him, the idea of a forbidden relationship, that made him so enticing? No, it couldn't be. But I couldn't have fallen in love with him so quickly, could I? Or was this just something that had no explanation, something out of my control? It wasn't just the idea of him that made my head spin and my heart race, but it was Masen himself. The way he actually wants to know me, and he seems to want to spend time with me, albeit he doesn't have any other options.
And so, I've made up my mind. I toss my book on my nightstand and set off towards his room. The halls are eerily empty as I make my way over. Everyone's probably getting ready for the arrival of the royals tomorrow. I'm sure if I venture into the central area that it would be chaos with maids cleaning and chefs cooking and guards patrolling.
He answers only seconds after I knock, peering down at me. His eyes slowly trail over me, before landing on my face, shining in amusement. "Forgetting something, Princess?"
I scrunch my nose, racking my brain to figure out what he was talking about. Did I say something last night? I didn't think so. So I gave it my best shot.
"Good morning?" My mother was always big on manners and made us greet each other when we woke up, although the rest of us didn't share the same sentiment. At least my father and Jasper didn't but I always obliged because it made her happy.
"Good morning to you too," he smiles wider. He leans against his door frame. "But that wasn't what I was talking about." He reaches out to finger the ribbon of my nightgown.
My nightgown! My mouth drops open as everything starts to click and I look down at my outfit. Or, lack thereof. I must have been so distracted in my hurry to come see Masen that I completely forgot to change out of my sleep gown. My slightly sheer sleep gown. Although to be fair, I never intended for anyone to see it and I never planned to ever leave my room in it. It was just like all my other ones, only the white fabric was a little see-through but that had never mattered before. But now, I was fairly certain he could at the very least see parts of my breasts and I want to hide myself away somewhere to die of embarrassment.
I cross my arms over my chest trying to maintain any ounce of dignity as my face turns red. "Well don't look!" I huff. ""Are you not a gentleman?"
"Of course I am." He grabs one of my hands I had wrapped tightly around myself and lightly kisses the back of it as if to prove his point. "But even the gentlest of men have their limits when seduced by an angel of their dreams." Him and his words. I can't tell if he's serious or if he's teasing me again but for my own sanity I'm inclined to believe the latter.
"I'm not trying to seduce you," I mumble looking down at my socks. "I just forgot to change. I'm sorry." I feel like I've done something completely inappropriate and I can't help thinking I should have never left my bed.
"Don't apologize. It's not your fault you don't realize the effect you have." He shifts his position, looking uncomfortable. "Go change."
"Will you meet me in the garden?"
"Yeah, yeah," his voice is distant, distracted. "I'm sure I can find it. I'm going to, um, take a very cold shower first." He gently closes the door, leaving me staring at the slab of wood separating us.
Why would he need-oh. Oh.
I may be inexperienced but I wasn't completely naive. Sometimes Angela would sneak me some of her more…exciting books. To prepare me for my wedding night, she said. I had been mostly scared to find out what she meant but every once in a while I would take a peek at a page or two and over the months I had gotten a fairly decent idea of what the maids meant when I would hear them whispering in the hallways about their most recent rendezvous with one of the guards. The more I read, the bolder I was with it, allowing myself to indulge in my room alone at night, imagining what it would feel like in the place of the girls in those books, but once my body would start to react, I would get scared, and hide the book back in my closet.
I hadn't ever felt those feelings or urges outside of reading those books until now. The way Masen was looking at me, the way he reacted just now, stirred something in me and I was both terrified and excited at the prospect.
I race back to my room, ripping the offending piece of clothing off and slipping on leggings and a sweatshirt, an outfit I only pulled out if I knew I wasn't going to run into anybody.
He's waiting for me in the garden, hair damp, leaning against the metal arch that leads to the trees in the back. I see he doesn't have his crutches with him. Just the sight of him has my heart racing again.
"I'm choosing to forget that ever happened," I preface, approaching him slowly.
He studies me for a moment, smirking "I don't think I could ever forget a sight like that." Masen moves closer, pushing the collar of my sweatshirt down, his hand ghosting over my neck. "The bruises are starting to fade."
"Huh?" Oh. I had forgotten to wear something to cover the marks. "That's good," I mumble, distracted by his close proximity.
He nods and I take his hand, pulling him through the trees that provide some semblance of privacy should anyone take a peek out here. I plop down on one of the many benches that lines the short path and tug Masen down to sit next to me.
"Do you come out here often?" He looks around, taking in the greenery around us.
I lean back on the bench, closing my eyes and breathing in the fresh air. It was going to rain soon, if the crisp grass scent was anything to go by.
"It's where I go when I have to stay within the grounds but want to get away. I'd rather go out riding but at least here there are no guards trailing me. I can almost pretend I'm completely alone."
"Well, now I feel like I'm intruding."
I twist my head to the side, opening one eye to glance at him. "You don't count."
He chuckles, leaning back to match my position, closing his own eyes. "Gee, thanks."
"No," I push myself up and lean against my elbow. "I just mean that when I'm with you, talking to you, I don't feel like I have to pretend to put on a mask. I can still be me and you won't judge me for it. You won't tell me that I'm not proper enough, or polite enough, or not dressed the right way. You'll just let me be. Right?"
His green eyes pop open, a ghost of a smile on his lips. "Always."
I smile back, but flinch as a droplet of water hits my nose. We both look up just as the sky starts to open up and we're pelted by the rain. Masen jumps up, looking next to him as if he expected me to be right behind him but I pay him no attention, turning my face to the sky and letting out light laugh as I feel the water trailing down my face.
"Uh, Princess?"
I tilt my head back down, blinking the rain from my lashes. He was looking at me like he didn't know whether to smile or get help.
"Shouldn't we…um…get inside?" His words were less and less confident as he spoke. He's squinting his eyes to try to keep the rain out.
I shake my head, standing up. Anytime it rained, I would always try to sneak out to the garden, just so I could stand in it. Usually Angela or one of the other maids caught me before I could make it out, but that was part of the draw. There was something about doing something you weren't supposed to, like the forbidden fruit. I had always loved being out in the rain, as long as it wasn't too cold, which luckily today, it wasn't.
I throw my arms out, welcoming the onslaught of clear pebbles. My sweatshirt is starting to weigh me down but I don't care. I pick up one foot and then the other, spinning in a circle, ignoring the man staring at me, sending a spray of water out like a sprinkler.
"You're gonna catch a cold." His deep voice rumbles, mixing with the sound of rain hitting the stone tiles that lined the path.
I sweep my hands over my face letting the water slick back my drenched hair. "Worth it," I smile.
He raises a brow, looking back over at the castle. "Fuck it," he mutters under his breath, taking two long strides to come and stand in front of me.
I blink up at him, eyes wide, head tilted, waiting for his next move.
A slow smile creeps on his lips. "Dance with me, Princess?"
I look down. "But your ankle."
"It's fine." He grabs my chin, bringing my face up to look at him. Masen takes a step back, placing one hand behind and one in front, bowing.
I can't believe this is happening and I'm stuck somewhere between complete giddiness and shock, but like I'm on autopilot, I step back as well, curtsying the way I was taught. He takes my hand, linking our cold fingers together, while the other curls around my waist, drawing me closer.
And then, we were moving. Slowly at first, him leading as I follow him step for step. I haven't danced with anyone in a while but Masen was an amazing partner, and it almost felt like we were gliding through the garden. I'm lost in our small little bubble, his green eyes sparkling with a certain joy that I'm sure is reflected in mine. He spins me faster and I squeal, so dizzy I'm losing my balance, and I fall into him a bumbling giggling mess. I would be embarrassed if he didn't seem so amused.
He steadies me, wrapping his arms around my waist. I'm gripping his shirt, adjusting my footing so I don't have to lean on him. I glance up, expecting to find that smug look on his face but instead his eyes are locked on my lips. Everything around us stops and I try to slow my breathing. There's a foreign feeling building in my stomach and I want nothing more than to be even closer to him than I am right now.
"Kiss me Masen." He said he would if I asked. Does that offer still stand?
"Edward."
"Edward." His name tastes sweet, rolling off my tongue. "Kiss me Edward."
We're both drenched now, my hair is stringy and sticking to my face. And then his lips are on mine, warm and soft in the harsh cold rain. I push myself against him until we're chest to chest, craving the heat both outside and in. I have no idea what I'm doing and once again, I let him take the lead.
Pebbles of rain drip from his eyelashes onto my cheeks. He's slow and gentle, cradling my face. It was the kind of kiss I'd read about in my books. The kind that made my entire body tingle and I never wanted it to end.
But it does, all too soon, and Edward pulls away, resting his forehead against mine, his green eyes searching for any signs of distress but he won't find any.
"That was…good," I mumble, not quite able to find the words I wanted to say.
"Just good, princess?" Edward raises a brow.
"Very good," I give him a cheeky smile and he laughs, kissing my forehead, then the tip of my nose, and finally a light kiss on my lips.
"We should get you inside before you freeze," Edward says, slipping his warm hands under my soaked hoodie, rubbing them along my waist to create friction, but it only serves to intensify the feeling in my stomach.
"Princess Isabella!" I heard Angela's voice call out from the castle. I quickly pull away from Edward, afraid if someone were to see us. I glance over at him and he gives me a soft smile in understanding.
"Princess Isabella!" Angela calls again.
"I'm here!" I duck through the arch, Edward following close behind.
"Your father would like to see you," Angela says.
"Oh, okay." It must be something about tomorrow. "I'll just get changed-"
"No, your highness. Now. He won't wait," she says, worry in her eyes.
I can't help but look back at Edward, needing any sort of comfort he could provide me. He reaches out, running his thumb along my cheek.
"I'll be in my room," he says. It's an invitation to come find him after.
Knowing I'll get to see him again soon enough, I nod, following Angela to my father's office.
I already know I'm in for it. Between my outfit and being out in the rain, there was plenty for my father to scrutinize.
I can already see my hand shaking when I lift it to knock on the door, but I force myself to anyway. There isn't an answer but I turn the knob, bracing myself for what's about to happen.
As soon as my father spots me, his eyes fill with rage. He stands up, knocking over the paperweight on his desk. He ignore it, making his way over to me.
"What are you wearing, Isabella?" His voice is low and angry and I know it's not meant to be a question. "And you look like a drowned rat!" She grips my shoulders much too tight, shaking me with every word. I turn my head away from him but it only angers him further and when he shakes me again, my face hits the metal design sticking out from the door and it explodes with pain.
"You will look presentable when our guests arrive tomorrow," he says, throwing me to the ground. My arm hits the chair in the corner and I can only hope it's not broken. "I called you in to make sure you knew what was expected of you." He stalks closer and all I can do is lift my head to look at him. "Do not mess this up. You were raised to benefit this kingdom. I don't know what ideas your mother fed you but they're unrealistic. You know what is expected of you," he narrows his eyes.
"Yes father," I croak, hating how hard it is for me to talk.
Satisfied with my answer, he turns, going back to his desk, leaving me forgotten in the corner.
I scramble up as quickly as I can, trying to ignore any pain. I have to use my other hand to turn the doorknob and I run past Angela who tries to call for me, but all I can think about is getting back to the one person who can make this all better.
I softly knock, feeling myself become more lightheaded the longer I stand still. I just want to see him. And sleep. Sleep would be good.
The door opens and I'm able to catch a glimpse of Edward's smiling face turn to horror right as I pass out.