A/N: Chapter 200!

The following morning dawned all too soon for JJ. In the dark and early hours, she was awakened by a sickening feeling in the pit of her stomach, one that seemed to worsen the moment she opened her eyes.

Seconds later, she threw the covers off herself, practically flying across the room to her bathroom. She was already gagging as she barreled through the door. Making it to the toilet bowl just in time, she upended the contents of her stomach. Considering she hadn't eaten in nearly twenty four hours, it was mostly water, and soon, she was only dry heaving.

Wiping her mouth on the back of her hand, she flushed the toilet as she stood up. Her entire body ached as she dragged herself over to the sink and turned the faucet. Cool water ran over her hands, seeming to reinvigorate her from the inside out. Dipping her head, she splashed some onto her face, before rinsing her mouth of the acrid taste of vomit.

After drying her hands and face on the hand towel, she quietly left the bathroom, pulling the door closed behind her and shuffling back across to her bed. Will was still sound asleep, sprawled on his back with one arm flung above his head. His hair was sticking in all directions, his mouth slightly open as he slept peacefully.

Sliding back under the covers, JJ curled up on her side facing Will. She was almost touching him, but still maintained her separation.

She didn't know if what she wanted was to be held and comforted, or if she wanted to deal with everything on her own.

But, she thought as her eyes started to feel heavy again, right now, she just wanted to sleep. If anything… she just wanted to escape the weight of grief for a few more hours.

"I don't think she's coping very well"

Will's soft statement was accompanied by the sounds of JJ retching in the upstairs bathroom, making her grandmother frown sadly as she walked over to the coffee machine.

"I half expected this," Sandy admitted quietly from her seat at the table. Her thin hands were wrapped tightly around her mug, every bone and vein accentuated against her pale skin. It hadn't escaped Will's notice that since the conclusion of the Olympics, the thin, tired look had returned to Sandy's face. It seemed as though the grief had settled rather heavily onto her shoulders as well.

"I just don't know what to do… how to help her," Will said sadly, running a hand through his hair. "And every time I do try to help her… she pushes me away"

"I'm going to go and make sure she's alright," Nandy said, setting her mug down on the counter and swiftly excusing herself from the room.

Sighing, Sandy got up, crossing the kitchen to refill her mug at the coffee machine.

"Coffee, Will?" she asked, looking back over her shoulder.

"Please," Will accepted, slowly taking a seat at the table as Sandy grabbed another mug from the cupboard above the machine. Silence surrounded them, broken only by the sounds of coffee splashing into the mugs.

A minute or so later, Sandy returned to the table, two steaming mugs of coffee in her hands. She placed one down in front of Will to his nodded thanks, before resuming her previous seat at the end of the table.

"I knew it was going to be worse after Rio," Sandy said quietly, breaking the silence. "It's worse for me too… the Olympics, while amazing, have the terrible side effect of giving you such a rush of joy, pride, and pure adrenalin that nothing else seems to matter. Not only did she compete there and experience that rush, but she had incredible success, which only made the effects… worse. I knew that would happen to JJ, and I knew once they were over, the reality of what happened would hit her harder than ever"

"I just… wish I knew how to help her," Will said sadly.

"With JJ, your main focus really has to be keeping her out of her own head, because she has a tendency to overthink and make everything seem a thousand times worse"

"Was she like that with Ros?"

Sandy stiffened at the mention of her oldest daughter. Even though eleven years had passed since Rosaline's death, Will knew it was still hard for her to talk about her. But, he needed to know… he needed to be ready and as armed as possible to help JJ cope with her grief.

"Well… to some extent, yes. She became very withdrawn after Ros died," Sandy explained softly. Lifting her mug to her lips, she took a long sip, savoring the flavor of the beverage as she set the mug back down. Taking a deep breath, she let go of the mug, bringing her hands together in front of her and interlacing her fingers.

"I don't remember much of the day Rosaline died… but what I do remember is waking up to the sound of JJ screaming in the bathroom. What she saw that morning… it's just incomprehensible still to me, even as an adult. She went into shock after we finally got her to stop screaming… I just remember trying to get her into our bathroom so I could change her out of those… those Lion King pyjamas that she loved. She was just… covered in blood. It took me forever to get her cleaned up, and the whole time, I just couldn't stop crying myself"

Will watched Sandy without speaking, his chest aching with sorrow for his girlfriend's family. How could so much tragedy affect one family?

"How did you get past that?" he breathed.

Sandy smiled slightly, a sob catching in the back of her throat. "We just had to. For JJ… I think it took longer for her. You can't really 'fix' these things… you just have to let time do its work. And the same stands right now. I'm not ok, none of us are… but given a little time, we will be. Right now, what JJ needs is a supporter. Someone who's going to keep her talking and smiling through the really bad days, someone who's going to hold her when she cries, and someone who's going to understand that she needs to work through this on her own terms"

Will stayed silent as Sandy spoke, wanting to take in every word. She took a deep breath, collecting herself for a moment as she wrapped her hands around her mug once more.

"Michael was that person for her when Rosaline died," she admitted softly. "I thought we were going to lose the JJ we knew and loved after we lost Ros, but somehow, Michael kept her smiling. JJ says they've always been close, but the real truth, I believe, is that her dad practically saved her after her sister died"

Tears had grown bright in her eyes, her grip growing tighter around the mug. Across from her, Will was swallowing hard to keep his own emotions in check.

"She wanted to quit gymnastics after Ros died. And not just an 'I've had enough of this sport and all the hours' want to quit, she truly never wanted to set foot back in that gym ever again. But… Michael didn't want her to quit in grief and anger. He convinced her to take some time away from the sport and then reconsider… and less than two weeks later, she decided she wanted to give it one more go. Michael had always been her biggest cheerleader, there's absolutely no lie behind that. But it ran so much deeper than just being proud of her and what she was achieving. He knew how easily that dream she had could have been taken away by tragedy… he knew JJ probably wouldn't have survived her own grief if she didn't have gymnastics to fall back on… so seeing her make it as far as the Olympic Games was truly the most incredible thing for all of us, but especially Michael"

Tears had broken free, falling down Will's cheeks as the deeper meaning of JJ's success fell upon his ears.

"Last time she was grieving, she had her dad there every step of the way, encouraging her to keep moving forward… now she feels alone… even though we know she has you. You just have to show her that you're there for her, and you're there through every step of this awful process"

"I'm not going anywhere… that's a given," Will said softly, his voice cracking slightly.

Sandy smiled, swallowing thickly as she wiped a stray tear from her cheek.

"She'll be ok," she whispered shakily. "Just give it time"

Half asleep beneath the covers after another bout of dry heaving, JJ barely acknowledged it when her grandmother knocked softly on the door before entering the room.

"You ok my sweet girl?" Nandy asked softly as she stopped momentarily in the doorway.

"Not really," JJ croaked. Nandy bowed her head, turning to close the door before she walked over and gently sat down on the edge of JJ's bed.

"You need to eat something my girl," she said gently, reaching out and lightly rubbing JJ's upper arm. "You're getting sick because you haven't eaten in over a day… grief and not eating don't go well together, trust me"

Taking a deep breath, JJ pushed the covers back slightly, rolling onto her back so she could look at her grandmother directly.

"Did it feel this awful when Pappy died?" she asked softly.

Nandy nodded.

"Grief… it sucks, JJ, no matter who it's for, when it happens, how it happens… it just sucks. I spent many days in bed, not wanting to get up. I'm sure you felt the same when sweet Rosaline passed away"

JJ nodded, closing her eyes as a painful stab shot through her stomach at the mention of her sister.

"I know you miss your father," Nandy said gently. "We all do… he was a wonderful man"

"The best," JJ breathed.

They fell silent for a minute before Nandy chuckled softly. "You know, I didn't like your dad when I first met him"

JJ looked at her grandmother in surprise as she pushed herself up so she was sitting against her pillows. "You didn't?"

Nandy shook her head. "Not one bit"

"Why?"

Shrugging, Nandy shook her head. "I'm not entirely sure. He seemed somewhat pushy, overly confident… maybe I just thought your mom could do so much better"

Seeing JJ stiffen, Nandy smiled. "But I came around very quickly. I realised after they'd been together a little while that he had a heart of gold, and he treated your mom like a queen. And he did for their entire relationship. He was confident because he knew what he wanted from life and he would work until he got it… a trait he very clearly passed on to you"

JJ broke into a small smile, playing with a loose thread on her sheets as she looked down.

"I know you think that maybe your dad wasn't being overly truthful when he said he wanted you to go to Rio and make your dreams come true… but you and I both know that that is exactly the type of thing he would say at any point in time. You brought so much joy and pride into the worst point of his life, my JJ, and you shouldn't beat yourself up for that"

JJ let out a long breath, looking up at her grandmother. "I know he's proud of me," she said quietly. "I just miss him. In Rio, I could almost pretend he was there... and being home... it's like it was just a bad dream, but when I got home... the bad dream came true"

Nandy reached out, cupping JJ's cheek and giving her a reassuring smile.

"Just remember how much he loved and adored you. Remember all the happy, beautiful memories. They will last forever, unlike this sadness. You know it just takes time"

Nodding, JJ managed a watery smile, her eyes growing bright again.

"Why don't you go and have a shower, and I'll fix you something to eat?"

Breathing deeply, JJ nodded again. "Can you make your chicken noodle soup?" she asked softly. Nandy chuckled.

"Of course I can sweetheart"

After getting a tight hug from her grandmother, JJ slowly got up, heading into the bathroom as Nandy went back downstairs.

It wasn't all fixed. That would take time.

But, even if just for today, she was feeling a tiny bit better.