The Many Lovers Of Ranma Saotome
Ranma was mad. And I mean STEAMING MAD! Why? Well, on top of being cursed by a magic spring in China and getting marked for death by a Chinese Amazon, Ranma's father, Genma Saotome, just dropped a bombshell on Ranma that he was arranged to be married to some broad he never had a chance to meet before. And on top of that, apparently this deal was set up between his father and his pal, Soun Tendo, before Ranma was even BORN! Heck, for all he knew, this was set up before he was even conceived.
So, Ranma did the only thing any 15-year-old would do...He kicked his father in the nuts and double palm struck him into the ocean before running off! And it was actually a good thing he did too. Why? Because after he ran away, he met a man who had just parted ways with his own master. And after meeting and explaining his situation to this new master, Ranma was surprised that this man decided to take him in as a student... and an adopted son.
The man said that he was paying a tradition forward. Ranma was surprised but he decided to take this new life in stride. Of course, that also meant that his new father/teacher also enrolled him in a new school. Ranma would rather just kept training, but his new mentor told him that if he didn't at least graduate High School, then he'd end up a bum like his father.
Ranma sighed at that, beaten again by his foster father's logic. But little did our gender swapping hero know that destiny still had a few more curve balls to throw his way. It was the day before school started up and Ranma had just finished a light work out and was about to start roof hopping around town in order to get used to this new town.
His new mentor/adopted father was off checking in on some old friends so Ranma was on his own. He wouldn't see his new father figure for some time but he didn't mind. He actually liked this new father he somehow ended up with and was looking forward to practicing the new techniques he left for him to learn. Everything was starting to look up for the pigtailed martial artist.
But before he could get started, a blinding light appeared before him. Ranma halted in his tracks and covered his eyes as the light shined bright white, gold and pink. As the light finally died down, Ranma peered through his arms...and nearly had a horny hormone heart attack!
Why? Because in front of him was the most SEXIEST woman had ever seen in all his 15 years of life! She had golden-blonde hair that was flowing and braided up to mid-back, and a tiny and perfectly fit finely gold circlet as well with tiny head wings within her top part of her hair that has as well short bangs. She had a delicate yet mature-looking and cute face with heterochromia eyes, with her left being sky-blue, and the right being a golden amber, but the strangest thing about those eyes were that fact that their pupils were shaped like hearts.
Her skin was pale white but had a slight pinkish hue to it and for her clothes, the woman wore nothing, NOTHING but a Greek toga! And her body...her breasts were GIGANTIC! So big Ranma couldn't even begin to wonder what size they were, and her hips were wide and curvaceous and from his view point, he could tell she had the ass to match her boobs. All and all, this woman was sexiness and beauty incarnated. Ranma had to fight to keep a raging boner from showing.
The woman gazed at him with those eyes, a look that he could only describe as a mix between motherly love and sexual hunger evident in them. Ranma gulped as the woman giggled a little.
'It's been too long since I've seen that reaction from a mortal. I've forgotten how much I've missed it.' She thought to herself as she looked up and down this latest person she had to speak to.
'He's a nice catch too. Even hotter than Adonis was back in the day. Even if he is kind of thin.' The woman thought to herself as she strutted over to the staring young man with was trying to hide his boner.
"Don't bother. I already know you're horny for me. All people have that reaction when they see me." She said as she stroked Ranma's face. Ranma shook his head and got back his self-control as he instinctually got into a ready stance.
"A-Alright lady, who the h-h-heck are you?" He said. The sexy woman chuckled at Ranma's reaction. She really did miss this.
"Relax boy. Allow me to introduce myself. I'm..." She paused for dramatic effect and lights, banners, and confetti appeared out of nowhere and blasted and shined all around her as she struck a pose to show off her sexy and bouncy body.
"The Goddess of beauty, love, sex, and all things relationship...Aphrodite!" She proudly proclaimed. Ranma tilted his head and blinked in confusion.
"Wait...you're...a goddess?" He asked, not really believing what the woman in front of him was saying. Aphrodite pouted at Ranma's lack of astonishment.
"Sheesh, the least you could do is act like you're impressed. I mean, you ARE meeting THE Goddess of love and beauty after all." She said, stopping her showing off.
"Yeah and just why should I believe that you're a Goddess? I mean, yeah, you're by far the sexiest woman I've ever seen but that doesn't make you a Goddess." Ranma said, ever the skeptic.
Aphrodite pouted again but then smirked.
"Oh, is that so? Well then, does this prove it?" She said.
And just then, she held up one hand and the same light shined down on her and a whole bunch of cupids and hearts and lots of other things appeared around her. Not only that, but every person around them started rushing over to her with hearts in their eyes.
Ranma looked around and more and more of this crazy stuff started happening. He then noticed that...well...even HE was getting majorly turned on. And he found himself being drawn right towards her like he was being pulled by a magnet.
"Ok Ok! I'm convinced!" He said as his face was about half a foot away from planting into Aphrodite's mountain sized breasts. The goddess dropped her hand and with one swift wave of her hand, all the people who were being drawn to her, were sent flying away like nothing but leaves in the wind.
"I'm glad that convinced you. If I went too much farther, I'd be in trouble with the other deities in Heaven. We're not supposed to go too far with our powers her on Earth." She said as she flipped her hair.
"Now that we've gotten that out of the way, can we please get down to business? Because I'm not supposed to be here on Earth for too long." She said. Ranma gulped and nodded.
"Ok. Sooooo...what exactly do I owe the honor of a meeting with a goddess?" Ranma asked. Aphrodite smiled as she looked at the young man in front of her.
"Well, I've got good news for you mister Ranma Saotome. But first, let me ask you something, have you ever wondered who your soulmate was?" She asked.
"Nope." Was all Ranma said as he nonchalantly put his hands in his pockets. Aphrodite's face almost faulted.
"Not even a little?" She asked.
"Nope. Not even once." He said. "I mean, does that even matter?" He asked with a tilt of his head. Aphrodite just sighed.
"Ok. Well, since you said that so bluntly, I'll just jump right to the point. You see, up in Heaven, there was a bit of a mix up in my department by one of my fellow love gods. You see, he accidentally set this one boy up with, get this, 100 soulmates."
"100 soulmates!?" Ranma freaked. "That's insane! I mean, can a man even handle that many lovers all at once!?"
"That's what I said." Aphrodite said with a sigh. "And to be honest, I thought that was a bit much for one lone human male to handle. So, as supreme authority of all things love and relationships, I found a way to minimize this problem."
"And that would be?" Ranma asked. "And just what does this have to do with me?"
"Well," She began. "I decided to split this blessing of 100 soulmates amongst not just him but other human males across the globe. And..." She paused as she stuck her hand out towards Ranma.
"YOU Ranma Saotome are one of those lucky..."
"Pass." Ranma interrupted her as he turned around and started walking away. Aphrodite lost her composure and fell right to the ground out of pure shock.
He did hear her, right!? Didn't he understand that she was giving him the good news that he was one of the lucky males on Earth that was blessed by HER!? THE ACTUAL GODDESS OF LOVE!?
"Um...excuse me!? Did you not hear me!? I said that you get to have a share of this blessing and get multiple soulmates all to yourself?" She said as she got back up.
"Oh, I heard you." Ranma said as he looked over his shoulder, his face showing nothing but disinterest. "I just don't care."
"Don't care? DON'T CARE!?" She screamed as she dashed towards him, her boobs bouncing wildly as she got in his face.
"Nope." He said with a blushing face as he looked away from her giant jugs. "I mean, thanks but no thanks. I already got away from one arranged marriage thing so there's no way I want to get involved with more crap like that. I just want to live my life my way. So go give your blessing to someone else."
And with that, Ranma turned and started walking away. Aphrodite actually started growling at the boy. He was ACTUALLY turning down the dream of 99% of all men on the planet!? What was WRONG with this guy!? He wasn't gay, she could tell that. Did he just not find romance a priority?
She didn't want to have to do this, but she had to tell him the rest. He wasn't a bad kid, but if he knew the truth about where his life was going before and how she had set things up to alter it...and more importantly, if he knew the dark truth about what her fellow love god had set in motion. She sighed.
Being the mature authority person was Athena's job not hers. It didn't suit her. But, as Goddess of Love, she had to do this. After all, Ranma had no idea what was going on.
"Ok look, I didn't want to have to say this, but if you don't take responsibility and find your soulmates, they're ALL going to DIE!" She shouted, causing Ranma to freeze in his tracks. He turned to look at the goddess, his eyes wide as saucers.
"What...?" He asked. Aphrodite sighed, she REALLY didn't want to have to tell Ranma this, but, as Goddess of Love, it was her duty to inform him of this. After all, she WAS trying to not only help Ranma out, but also save the lives of these other women whose lives were now bound to the pigtailed boy.
"Let me explain how soulmates work. And I mean how they REALLY work." She started as she took a deep breath.
"You see, soulmates are people who are truly destined for each other. And once they get together, they're bond together for all eternity. But, if those who are truly destined for each other don't ever get together. Something bad will happen."
"Oh yeah, like what?" Ranma asked, crossing his arms.
"You see, soulmates are responsible for each other's happiness. If they fail to get together, then either one or both of those people will suffer horrible deaths as a consequence." Aphrodite said.
"Say WHAT!?" Ranma exclaimed. Aphrodite nodded, the playful gleam in her eye gone. Replaced by stone cold seriousness.
"Yep. In other words, if you just go about your life, not caring about these multiple soulmates that are unknowingly waiting for you to come and find them, they will all suffer one miserable life followed by a painful and horrible death one after another. Basically, you'll be leaving them to die. No offense." Aphrodite said. Ranma lost all the color in his face as he let his arms drop and his mouth started to fall open.
"Hu...wha...huh?" Ranma said, starting to lose his balance. Aphrodite walked over to him and pulled him into a motherly, comforting hug.
"I'm sorry kid. I REALLY didn't want to tell you that part. But it had to be done. I had to get you to see how serious this is." She said, stroking his head.
Ranma started to try breath heavy as the implications of what the love goddess said ran through his mind. He had NO intentions of hooking up with any girls at the moment, even if a goddess of love tried to tell him he had a harem waiting for him. But now...if he didn't...these 'soulmates'...would...die...?
He pushed Aphrodite off and tried to take a few steps as he got his breathing back under control. He shook his head, not wanting to believe what he was just told. He thought the worst part of his so called 'love-life' was that his stupid father had basically stole his freedom of choice and tried to marry him off to some woman he didn't know, but NOW!?
"Huh...huh...huh...Th-this can't be real." He said. Aphrodite looked sadly at the boy she had come to talk to.
The whole reason she chose him to receive a portion of this '100 soulmates' blessing was because she had seen a bit of what his love life had in store for him in the future and she didn't like it. He basically had NO love coming his way. No real love anyway. It almost reminded her of what happened to her when she was first born.
She was forced to marry Zeus's son Hephestus, and she was never given any say in the matter what-so-ever! That was why she slept around with so many lovers, gods and humans alike. She knew what people called her: Olympian slut, Godly slut, Olympian whore, Goddess of man stealing whores, Aries' hoe, and the one she hated the most...
False Love Goddess.
Yes, she never did know love ONCE in her immortal life, but that was because she never got the chance to fall in love. That's why she took pity on cases like Ranma. In him, she saw a kindred spirit. Yes, he was destined to marry Akane Tendo, but only because he was forced to spend time with her. She knew that if he were given a chance, he might not have fallen for her at all.
Now here she was, telling him that he was once again having that freedom taken from him or else certain women would die. Despite what people said about her, she LOVED love. She envied mortals and gods of other pantheons for having such freedom. And while she technically WAS takin this freedom from Ranma, she had picked his lovers herself. And these lovers all needed someone like Ranma or else they'd never know true love. He was what they needed and more importantly, THEY were what HE needed.
"Look, I get it. But here me out." She started talking again. "These women need you. And more importantly, you need them."
"WHY!?" He said, slapping her hand away.
"What makes you think I NEED anything YOU or ANYONE ELSE SAYS I NEED!? Here you are, shoving this crap on me! You're as bad as my asshole father! Give me ONE REASON why I should..."
"BECAUSE I KNOW WHAT HAPPENS TO YOU IN THE FUTURE!" Aphrodite shouted back at Ranma. This shut the pigtailed boy up quickly.
"What?" He asked. Aphrodite took another deep breath to compose herself.
"As Goddess of Love, I can see the life lines of peoples love lives. In essence, their futures. And in the end, you end up with women who claim to love you, but they really don't." She said, causing Ranma's eyes to go wide again.
"What? You're kidding." He said. Aphrodite shook her head.
"I'm afraid not. I NEVER kid about matters of love." She said. "In the end, you fall for your intended fiancé, but you both end up regretting it because you both are filled with 'what ifs'. And all the other people who claim to love you...all it is, is lust. Normally that's not too bad, but in the end..."
"...They don't care about me." Ranma cut her off, his head dropping low. "That's it isn't it? They don't care about my feelings at all, don't they?"
Aphrodite saw the tears forming in Ranma's eyes again. As Goddess of Love, she could feel empathy with those who realized that the people in their lives didn't feel TRUE love for them. She reached out to hug him again, only for him to try and pull away. But she still managed to pull him in, letting him cry on her shoulder.
"I'm sorry." She said in a motherly tone. "But that's why I chose to give you this blessing. The women I chose to set you up with, they'll all mean it when they say they love you. I chose them because I knew that once all of you met, it would set in motion a better life for you. The same reason I set this up for other men around the world."
"How can I trust you?" He said. Aphrodite hated being asked that. But this boy, if she was to stop him from going down the road of heart ache she saw ahead of him, she had to prove her sincerity.
"I give you my word as Goddess of Love." She said as she pulled him away and looked him in the eye.
"And trust me, when you meet these women, you're going to thank me big time." She said with a smile.
"How the heck will I even know these 'soulmates'?" Ranma asked as he dried his eyes.
"Oh, you'll know." Aphrodite said with a smirk. "Once you lock eyes with one of them, you'll feel this jolt of electricity shooting through you and you'll hear a few bells going off in your head. They'll feel something like that too but they'll perceive it as love at first sight."
"Love at first sight? Like those crappy love movies?" Ranma asked with a tilt of his head.
"Hey! They are not crappy!" Aphrodite said, placing her hands on her hips and leaning forward. Ranma blushed a little as he tried not to look at her dangling breasts.
"Anyway, I've got a few more people to talk to so..OH! I almost forgot. You specifically are going to have at least 10 or 12 lovers." She said.
"10 OR 12!?" Ranma freaked.
"Yep! You'll see. Oh, and one more thing." She said as she grabbed Ranma and kissed him right on the lips. Ranma's eyes blasted out of his head at the surge of pleasure and the...raging boner he now had in his pants.
"MMMPHA! Now you can say you're first kiss was from Aphrodite herself. Now get some sleep, you'll be meeting your first two lovers in the morning. Oh, and you'll be going to the same school as the original receiver of this blessing so be sure to make friends. Bye!"
And with that, Aphrodite vanished in a blast of light and poor Ranma was left standing there, bulge in his pants and lipstick on his face and a blush on his cheeks. Poor Ranma did the only thing he could do...faint.
The next day, Ranma was sorting through what he had been told yesterday. Soulmates, a blessing form a goddess, THE Goddess of Love!? And to top it off, if he didn't find these soulmates they were going to die horrible deaths. He did NOT like this. Not one bit. But Aphrodite said that he'd like these women, whoever they were. But HE'D be the judge of that.
"Hey!" Came a voice from behind him. "Hey! Are you Ranma!?"
Ranma came to a halt and looked behind him and saw a young man running towards him. He looked like an average guy around his age, short hair, brown eyes, thick eyebrows and a decently athletic build. Ranma tilted his head as the boy ran up to him.
"Um, yeah that's me. Do I know you, pal?" He asked. The boy caught his breath and bowed deeply.
"N-no. Not really. My name is Rentaro Aijou. And I think we have a certain, 'divine' friend in common." The boy, now known as Rentaro said. Ranma's eyes widened slightly as he realized who this guy must be.
"Wait, are you the guy who got that 100 girlfriends blessing?" Ranma asked. Rentaro nodded.
"Yeah, that's right. I'm sorry you got sucked into this because of me." He said, bowing his head in shame. Ranma smirked and playfully slugged the guy in the arm.
"Hey, don't sweat it dude. It ain't your fault, it's those bums in Heaven." He said.
"Besides, at least now I have an actual friend." Ranma said with a smile. Rentaro returned the smile and bowed.
"So anyway, shall we get going? We've got a new school and some soulmates to find after all."
Ranma returned the smile and started walking towards the school, after playfully patting Rentaro on the back. The two boys started walking and found their way to the auditorium for the orientation. Ranma stretched as he sat there, listening to the ramblings of the principle, all the while looking around to see if he could see his soulmates around anywhere.
He saw a few cute girls, but none of them set off the electric shock/bells and whistles that Aphrodite was talking about. He took a look at his newfound friend, Rentaro, to see if he was having any better luck. He saw the boys' eyes go wide when he looked in one direction. Maybe he found one already.
Ranma sighed as he closed his eyes and decided to wait till the end of this boring assembly. When it finally ended, Ranma stretched and got up and started walking. He was starting to think that maybe Aphrodite was wrong about...
BAM!
Ranma crashed into two people and fell to the ground.
"Ow!" He said as he rubbed his head.
"Owie!" Came a very feminine voice.
"OW! What the hell!?" Came a very tomboyish voice.
"Sorry! I'm so sorry! I didn't mean..."
ZING!
Ranma felt it! The soulmate spark! And it was a DOUBLE! Ranma looked at the two people he crashed into and his eyes went wide as dinner plates and his face as red as the sleeveless red Chinese shirt he was wearing.
The first girl was a beautiful and very curvaceous girl around his age. She was curvy as heck and had boobs bigger than even his female forms! She had pink hair and green eyes and a cute looking face that screamed of adorableness. Ranma felt his heart race at the sight of her and had to fight the erg to whistle like a cartoon wolf.
The other girl was nowhere near as curvy as the first girl, but she was no less as cute. She had a slim and petite physique and golden hair done up in pigtails and had beautiful hazel eyes. She looked as cute as a button in all honesty, and Ranma couldn't help but feel his heart jump at the sight of this other woman as well.
"Oh...wow..." As all he could say as he took stock of the two girls that apparently were his first two soulmates. The first girl blushed and looked like she had stars in her eyes as she looked at him and the other looked like her face was so red it was about to explode.
"Uh...uh...AHHH! HEY! W-watch where you're going pal!" Said the golden-haired girl as she shot to her feet and pointed at Ranma, spooking him a little.
"D-Don't be so rude! We're the ones who bumped into him!" Shouted the voluptuous pink haired girl. She turned to Ranma and offered her hand.
"I'm terribly sorry about that sir." She said. Ranma shook his head and got up to his feet.
"No, no. It's ok. It's no big deal. I'm ok." He said. The gold haired girl looked like she wanted to say something but was having an internal argument with herself.
"I...yeah..um...I'm sorry, ok!?" She said with a huff. Ranma could only think of one word to describe this petite girl at this point.
'Tsundere.' He thought to himself.
"Um, yeah. I forgive you." He said. "Um...I'm Ranma, by the way. Ranma Saotome. And who are you guys?"
"I'm Hakari. Hakari Hanazono." Said the girl with the curvy body and the pink hair. And it may have been Ranma's imagination, but he could have sworn that she was bouncing her large boobs in front of his face on purpose.
The other girl looked like she was about to explode again. She grit her teeth turned to look at Ranma and huffed.
"Karane. My name's Karane Inda, ok?" She said. Ranma couldn't help but smile at her. There was something cute about her.
"Nice to meet ya." He said.
"Mmmmm! Yeah, whatever, ok?" Karane said as she started marching off.
"Oh my, what a rude woman." Said Hakari as she started walking towards Ranma and seemed to trip and fall right into his arms.
"Whoa! Hey, are you ok?" He asked. Hakari sighed and then rubbed her breasts on Ranma's chest, causing him to panic and blush like mad.
"I'm sorry. I slipped and lost my balance for a moment." She said as she nuzzled herself into the panicking martial artist.
"Um! I! Ugh!?" Ranma couldn't think of how to get out of this as Hakari kept rubbing herself on Ranma. All of a sudden...
"HEY!" Came the screeching voice of Karane as she grabbed Hakari by the hair and yanked her off him.
"OW OW OW! What are you doing!?" Hakari screamed as she smacked Karane's hand off her head.
"Stop trying to smother the guy with your big honkers, will ya!? AH!" She panicked and turned towards Ranma, pointing her finger at him.
"I mean, it's not like I'm jealous of this woman or have the hots for ya myself or anything like that, ok!?" She said. Ranma held up his hands to defend himself.
"Ok. Ok. Chill, I get cha." He said.
'Yep. Definitely a total Tsundere.' He thought to himself.
"Oh, if that's so, then why are you so flustered?" Hakari asked the blushing tsundere. Karane was starting to panic.
"I...I...SHUT UP! OK!?"
Not long after that meeting. Ranma was sitting in class, and noticed that not only was he in the same class as his buddy Rentaro, but he was also in the same class as his two soulmates. He couldn't help but stare at the two of them from time to time. He also caught them looking at him a lot too. Hakari was less sutelle, but Karane was making a whole show of her stealing glances at him.
Ranma didn't know what to do at this point. When it came to things he had learned in life, romancing women was NOT one of those things. Fighting he was a master at, but talking to girls was something his father never bothered to teach him. Then again, his father probably didn't even WANT him to have that skill in the first place.
After all, if Ranma knew how to flirt, he would have chatted up a few girls and never went with his father's whole scheme about the arranged marriage. And now here he was with a mission to accomplish, his first two targets in his sights...and he didn't have the slightest idea of what to do.
How should he go through with this? He didn't know how to flirt, how to talk to girls outside of a dojo or a fight, heck, for all he knew...well, to be honest what did he know outside of martial arts? Nothing. Absolutely nothing.
Ranma squeezed his head in his hands as his brain tried to come up with some idea as to what to do. How the heck do you even go about romancing even one woman? Let alone two. Ranma sighed, he was at a loss on this one. He really wished his master or even his masters' master was here. They'd know more about how to deal with this kind of stuff then he does.
As the day passed on by, Ranma pulled Rentaro aside after class so they could talk.
"Really? You already found two of your soulmates?" Rentaro asked as he and Ranma drank some tea.
"Yeah, I guess." He said. "But...I don't know. I mean, I never did put much stock in winning a girlfriend. I mean, I always thought I'd worry about that after high school. But, now that I'm supposed to romance these girls before they die horrible deaths and junk...(Sigh) man I don't know."
Ranma gulped down the last of his tea and crushed the can before throwing it away. Rentaro sipped at his tea as he tried to come up with some advice for his friend. But, truth be told, he didn't have much expertise to give. After all, he had been rejected 100 times already.
"Well, I wish I knew what to tell ya, but I'm afraid I've got nothing." He said. Ranma sighed again. This might as well be freaking mission impossible.
Ranma left to go stretch his legs after school let out. No one was waiting at the apartment he and his master were staying at so he had all the time in the world. But as he was walking past the flower field in the courtyard, he noticed two girls were there. And not just any girls. It was none other than Hakari and Karane. Ranma tilted his head in confusion and walked over to see what they were doing. Turns out, they were in a small patch of clovers.
'Are they looking for four leaf clovers or something?' He thought to himself as he walked over to them.
"Come on. Come on. There's got to be at least one around here." Hakari said as she continued her search.
During the day, she had heard there was a rumor that if you found a pink four-leaf clover and confessed to the person you liked, then you would succeed. But she wasn't expecting to have competition in looking for one. The golden haired girl, Karane, was looking for the same thing she was. Even if the stubborn girl wasn't admitting it.
Karane gritted her teeth as she looked for the clover. She really didn't think that the rumor she heard was true, but if anything gave her an advantage over the pink haired girl that tried to rub herself all over that Kung Fu cosplayer earlier. She couldn't get over the way that guy made her feel.
She wasn't the type to believe in stupid stuff like 'love at first sight', but just thinking about that guy with the braid made her feel...
'GRRRR! It's not like I like him that much, ok!?' She thought to herself. Then she sighed.
'Oh who am I kidding? I tots' like that guy. And I am not letting that succubus wannabe steal the first guy I ever actually liked.' Karane glared at her pink haired rival.
"Yo." Came a voice from behind.
"ACK!" Karane screamed, causing Hakari to jump and scream too.
"D-Don't sneak up on me like that ya creep!" Karane screamed. Ranma snickered as he held up his hands.
"Sorry, sorry." He said. "Sooooooo...what exactly are you guys doing here, anyway?"
Karane and Hakari freaked and gulped. They didn't want the guy they liked to know that they were looking for something to give them an advantage in confessing to him. Karane had to think of something fast.
"Um...uh...well..." Hakari started to say, until Karane butted in.
"I was...I dropped something in these stupid clovers and I was just looking for it, okay?" Karane said in a huff, crossing her arms.
'Thank you Karane. We may be rivals but..' Hakari was thinking.
"So what about you you, Hakari?" Ranma asked. Hakari gasped as she was caught.
"Um...well...I was looking for something as well, actually." She said as she scratched the back of her head. Ranma shrugged.
"I see. Need any help?" He asked. Both girls blushed.
"Um...well, it's not that I'm asking for your help, ok? But...I guess I wouldn't mind." Karane said. Ranma smiled at her.
"Cool. So, what exactly are we looking for?" Ranma asked. But before either girl could say something, they all heard a scream of terror.
"AAAAAHHHHH!"
"What the!?" Ranma said as he looked back towards the school and saw his friend Rentaro running for his life from...
"What in the bloody heck is THAT THING!?" Ranma asked in total shock.
And he was justified in his shock and terror. For running after Rentaro was something that looked like a cross between a human woman and some kind of freaky alien beast. Her hair was done up like a big freaking hat, her lips were big and her breasts were saggy as heck. This woman looked like something form a horror movie.
"Oh no! It's Baba An!" Hakari exclaimed. Ranma looked back at her.
"Who?" He asked.
"Our vice principle. The monster of Ohananomtisu High School. She's an ugly former track and field athlete who gets her kicks from going after any student who she catches breaking any rules. Whether they've actually done it or not. She's also been called 'The Witch that goes at the speed of Sound' and Sonic the Hedgehag because of how fast she runs. No one's ever escaped her. She's known for disciplining students by...by..." Karane gulped. "By kissing them horribly."
"What!?" Ranma gasped in shock. "And she's going after my friend."
"That friend of yours...that poor soul." Hakari said with tears in her eyes. "His first kiss will be stolen by that monster. And he'll be scared for life!"
Now Ranma was getting mad.
"Not on my watch!" And with that, Ranma dashed at high speed that kicked up a huge dust cloud as he dashed towards his endangered friend. And to the shock of Karane and Hakari, he leapt HIGH into the air and through the window that he saw Baba and Rentaro in.
"HUH!?" Hakari gasped.
"HOLLY FREAKING CRAP!" Karane shouted in shock! How on Earth did Ranma leap inot the air that high and through a dang window!?
'Maybe that kung fu outfit of his isn't just for show after all.'
Meanwhile, Rentaro Aijou was running for his life. Why? Well, for starters; when he and Ranma were at the assembly for new students, he managed to catch the eye of this one girl and he felt the Soulmate Spark, as Ranma called it. He waited till the end of the day so that he could try and talk to her ad he was SO CLOSE.
That is until..
"Oph! Sorry about..." He started to say to whoever he just bumped into. Only...
"AHA!" Came the almost inhuman voice of Baba An, scaring poor Rentaro to death.
"SO! Another student causing trouble, eh?" She said as her freakishly long tongue darted out like an alien monster.
"WHAT!? NO NO NO! I'm not causing trouble. Honest!" Rentaro tried to protest.
"Don't give me that! I saw you ogling me and pretending to 'accidentally' bump into me just to get a feel! Nice try little boy! But I'm on to you and now it's time to punish you!" The ugly woman cried out as she tried to lunge for poor Rentaro.
Screaming in fright, Rentaro ran for his young life. Baba An only smiled as she gave chase to the frightened young man as they ran down the halls of the almost empty school.
"Running in the halls, eh? Well, you're only adding to the punishment I'm going to give you BOY!" Cried the wrinkled old crone as she chased down the poor, doomed adolescent.
"School's over for the day, and you're just making up excuses to chase after me!" Rentaro protested as he ran as fast as he could. Sadly, while Rentaro was an athletic young man and reasonably fast, this wrinkly old hag was much faster.
"Oh ho! Now accusing your vice principle of lying? That tears it!" Baba An said as she leapt and tackled Rentaro to the ground in front of the very windows that overlooked the field that Ranma, Karane and Hakari were in.
"Now it's time for your punishment, pretty boy! No one forgets my special kiss attack!"
Rentaro panicked as he tried to wrestle his way free of the old crone's grip. But it was no use. As the old monster's tongue waggled in front of his face, Rentaro's life flashed before his eyes. Rejection after rejection was all he saw. And the face of the girl he was actually trying to go find and talk to. It was all over...
Suddenly, the sound of breaking glass caught his attention! As well as the sound of a foot smashing into a face. Rentaro risked opening his eyes and saw Ranma hitting Baba in the face with a flying side kick. The old monster was knocked off the prone boy and sent crashing into the wall as Ranma landed on the ground in front of his friend.
"Rentaro, are you alright?" Ranma asked. Rentaro looked up at Ranma with stars in his eyes.
"My hero..." He said, making Ranma smirk at him.
"I'll take that as a yes." He said.
"Why you little brat!"
Ranma and Rentaro turned their heads to see Baba getting back up and glaring at Ranma with eyes full of blood lust.
"How dare you kick the vice principal of this school, break one of our windows, stop me from disciplining a trouble maker and to top it all off, you're not even wearing a school uniform! You're just a delinquent looking for trouble aren't you!?" She said as she got back up.
Ranma narrowed his eyes at the decerped old hag as he brought his hands into a Jeet Kune Do position and repositioned his feet, getting into a more comfortable fighting stance.
"I don't see a vice principal. All I see is a washed-up old hag who gets her kicks by face raping young boys. And news flash; school's out, but class is in session. Today's lesson: Don't mess with my friends!" Ranma said as his fighting spirit flared briefly. Baba An growled as an evil looking purple aura appeared around her as she got into a crouching stance.
"Bring it, Baba Yaga." Was the last thing Ranma said before the fight began.
Baba charged at Ranma and in the blink of an eye, Ranma seemed to vanish! Baba skid to a halt. Before she could react, she felt the sting of Ranma's left foot crashing into the back of her head in an ariel axe kick that sent her crashing to the floor. Ranma landed as gracefully as a cat and looked at his downed foe over his shoulder.
"That all ya got?" He asked. Baba got up and glared daggers at the pigtailed boy.
"Not even close!" She said as she charged at him again.
Karane and Hakari panted for breath as they arrived at the spot where Ranma crashed through the window and were shocked at what they saw. Why? Because what they saw was the object of their affections, Ranma, bouncing around the walls and ceiling of the hallway like Spider-Man in what could only be described as a very one-sided battle against Baba An.
"Wha? Wha?" Was all Hakari could say. Karane however...
"WHAT THE HELL!? Just who is this guy!? Freaking SPIDER-MAN!?"
Similar thoughts were running through the head of Baba An as she failed yet again to snag the illusive pigtailed youth. She couldn't understand this. She was the pride of the track and field team when she was younger and she had never once met someone she couldn't out run and capture.
And yet here she was, failing to catch one delinquent who liked to dress like he was in an old kung fu movie. Every time she tried to tackle or grab him, he would just seem to vanish like an afterimage.
Ranma on the other hand, was growing tired of this game. This woman was fast and all, but besides her speed and endurance and creepy horror movie like movements, she was still a normal human. And Ranma? Well, he was human. But he was far above normal.
Slipping into another desperate grab by the freakshow vice principal, Ranma struck her hard in the solar plexus and used her own momentum to throw her into another wall. Baba growled and was about to come at him again, only to see Hakari and Karane to her right.
"What are you two looking at!" She shouted, causing both girls to jump back.
"N-Nothing!" Hakari said, hiding behind her love rival.
"Just you getting what you deserve ya freak!" Karane shot back.
"WHAT WAS THAT YOU TRAMP!" Baba said as she pride herself off the wall. "Well, I've never disciplined any girl delinquents before. BUT THERE'S ALWAYS A FIRST TIME!"
She screamed as she charged at the two girls.
"GET BACK YOU BITCH!" Ranma screamed as he moved at blinding speed to intercept the old bat.
"Hyakuretsukyaku!" Ranma screamed out as he fired off a rapid barraged of lightning fast kicks to the incoming old monster.
Baba An ran right into the onslaught, not even having enough time to block as Ranma's kicks tore into her faster than the normal human eye could track. To Rentaro and the girls, it was like he had multiple legs striking at once. Karane though, had stars in her eyes at what she was witnessing.
'What the HELL!? He just pulled a move from Street Fighter! I spam that move all the time! And he makes it look so easy! This guy...he...he...he's as good as my sensei!'
Ranma ended his volley of kicks with one last powerful thrusting side kick that sent the old monster back into the wall. And this time, she blacked out. Truth be told, she blacked out during the first dozen kicks. Ranma huffed as he lowered his kicking leg and looked back the two girls behind him.
"Are you two alright?" He asked. Hakari and Karane both nodded dumbly at their savior.
"You...you...were..." Hakari tried to say, her brain still trying to wrap itself around what she had just seen.
"YOU WERE FREAKING AWESOME!" Karane exclaimed. Ranma was startled and scratched the back of his head.
"Oh, uh...thanks. I guess." He said.
"Seriously! How did you ever learn to pull that move off in real life!? I've wanted to do that for years and you did it so easily!" Karane said, getting up close to the pigtailed boy.
'Oh, so she likes marital arts too huh? And from how she said that I guess she's a Street Fighter fan too.' He thought.
"Ranma my darling, that woman didn't hurt you, did she?" Hakari asked, finally getting her brain to work again. Ranma chuckled.
"Nay, she couldn't even touch me." He said. Then he remembered Rentaro.
"Yo, Rentaro! You okay dude? Still have your dignity?" He asked. Rentaro smiled and nodded before bowing.
"Yeah. I'm good. Thanks again Ranma. You may have just saved my life and my sanity." He said.
Ranma smiled before looking at how the hallway got trashed during the fight.
"Um...maybe we should get out of here before someone asks about this." He said. The others all agreed.
After getting away from the school, Ranma felt his stomach flipping. The two girls he was supposed to romance were right here with him, and once again he didn't know what to do.
"Well, I've got to get home guys. I've had enough excitement for one day and my parents might be getting worried about me. I'll see ya tomorrow." Rentaro said as he waved goodbye to Ranma and the girls.
As for Ranma, now he was feeling like he was in REAL hot water. Now he was alone with his first two soulmates and the air was getting heavier and heavier with uncomfortable tension. He gulped as he rubbed his arm.
"Um...well...uh..." Ranma tried to find something to say but his tongue wouldn't work for him. Fortunately, Hakari was there to break the ice.
"Ranma-kun. There's something I want to confess." She said.
"Oh no ya don't!" Karane butted in before blushing up a storm. "I...I mean..."
"Um, is something up?" Ranma asked. Before Hakari could continue though, Karane butted in.
"LOOK, WILL YOU GO OUT WITH ME!?" She screamed. Ranma jumped back in shock.
"Huh!?"
"HEY! I was gonna ask hi to go out with me!" Hakari said before turning to Ranma.
"Ranma-kun, please go out with me! I want to be your girlfriend. I'll make you food, I'll do whatever you want."
"But out, ballon tits!" Karane butted in. "I asked first. And besides, I...I know i don't have jugs like pinky here, but I'm sure you'd like someone who likes martial arts and stuff too. I mean, we'd have more in common than you and bimbo here."
"Hey! I may have a bimbo's body, but that doesn't mean I'm stupid like one. And while I'm not a fighter, I can give Ranma-kun comfort more than a tsundere like you could." Hakari shot back.
"Oh yeah!" Karane shouted.
"STOP IT!" Ranma screamed, causing both girls to freak out and hug each other out of pure shock at his outburst.
"Look...I get it. You guys both like me but...but..." Ranma looked down. In his heart, he knew this whole situation was just...wrong.
"I DON'T DESERVE EITHER OF YOU!" And with that he ran off.
"RANMA-KUN!" Both girls shouted after the young boy as he ran off.
Ranma hated himself. Why was it that HE was put in this mess. He didn't WANT ANY OF THIS! But once again, the universe wanted to screw him over and not give him a choice. And it was all that stupid goddess' fault. So sooner had he thought of her, Ranma was grabbed by the pigtail by none other than Aphrodite herself.
"I can't believe you." She said as she spun him back around to face her. "You get two beautiful girls both asking you out and you run off? Are you mentally ill or something?"
"I NEVER ASKED FOR THIS!" Ranma exploded, scaring Aphrodite.
"I. NEVER! WANTED! YOUR STUPID BLESSING! You're just like my old man! You don't CARE about what others want! You just do you like all hot shot gods do. You never even bothered to ask how I felt about this whole stupid multiple soulmates crap! You just forced it on me like my old man forced that STUPID arranged marriage on me! DOSEN'T ANYONE IN THIS GODDAMN UNIVERSE CARE HOW I FEEL OR WHAT I WANT!?"
Ranma huffed and puffed. Red in the face from how loud he was screaming. Aphrodite just stood there, starring him down as he caught his breath.
"Are you finished?" She asked. Ranma tried to calm himself down. He didn't really mean to blow up like that. But...this all felt too familiar to him.
"S-sorry..." He said. Aphrodite tried to hug him but he stepped away. She sighed, he was still defensive.
"So what's really bothering you? It can't just be the whole soulmates thing." She asked. Ranma bowed his head. Fighting to not let the unshed tears in his eyes fall.
"...Do they...do they even really love me?" He asked. "They...they acted like they were under a spell instead of in love. If that's the case...then I don't want this stupid blessing." He said, sobs trying to force their way out of his throat.
Aphrodite felt a bit sad and finally managed to pull him into an embrace. Most men wouldn't ask so many questions. But it was almost as if this young man's soul could feel the pain that his canon future self had already gone through. A pain she was trying to prevent.
"Look, sometimes people fall in love hard and sometimes they end up going out of their way to show it to the person they love. Especially when they have strong competition. All the Soulmate spark does is light the fire of passion in someone. What they feel...that's all genuine."
"But how am I supposed to date different girls all at once like some stupid pimp!? I'm no cheater. I can't just go around behind someone's back while I'm dating them. What would they say or think of me then?" Ranma said as he tried to push himself away from the love goddess. Aphrodite just smiled.
"Why don't you ask them yourself?"
"Huh?"
Ranma turned around, and sure enough, there were Hakari and Karane. Both a little shell shocked at seeing this..this...BOMBSHELL!
'She's even bustier and sexier than my mother!' Hakari thought to herself.
'IMPLANTS! THOSE THINGS HAVE GOT TO BE MASSIVE IMPLANTS!' Karane was screaming inside her head.
"Wha...what are you guys doing here?" Ranma asked, trying to keep ahold of himself.
"Um...well...I mean...It's not like I was worried about you, ok!?" Karane blurted out while blushing.
"Drop the tsundere act, hon. He needs honesty right now." Aphrodite said as she snapped her fingers.
"HURP! Me and pinky got worried when you flew off like that and we ran after you to see if you were ok and I totally love you and I'm sorry for acting so weird it's just that I come from a whole family of tsunderes and I don't know how to be honest about my feelings and this was really hard for me to confess, OKAY!?" She blurted out of nowhere and covered her moth as she turned so red she looked like all the blood in her body went straight to her head.
"Whoa! How did you do that!?" Hakari asked the busty woman. Aphrodite just smirked.
"I'm..." She pauses and snaps her fingers as spotlights shine on her from out of nowhere and rose petals fall as an invisible chorus starts to sing...
Aphrodite...Aphrodite...Aphrodite...! THE GODDESS OF LOVE!
Ranma looked around for where that came from but Hakari...
"EHHHHHHHH!? THE GODDESS OF LOVE APHRODITE!?" Hakari dropped to the ground and started bowing.
"I AM NOT WORTHY!"
"FINALLY! This is what I was hoping for." She said. Karane just kept covering her mouth as she started at the woman in front of her.
Was it possible? Was this woman actually THE goddess she had heard about when her classes talked about ancient Greece?
'Well...she does fit the bil.' She thought.
"Wait, what's a love goddess doing talking to you, Ranma?" Karane asked, getting her composure back.
"Well...it's a LONG story..."
And with that, Ranma and Aphrodite started telling the two young girls the whole truth about Ranma and Rentaro's mission to find their soulmates or they would die horrible deaths. Needless to say, the girls where shocked. No wonder Ranma ran off the way he could. His heart was so conflicted that he didn't know what to do and he didn't want to look like a cheating pig in front of them.
"Oh Ranma darling..." Hakari said as she wrapped Ranma in a hug. "I'm so sorry. I didn't know I was adding to this kind of pressure you were under."
"To be fair, would you have believed it if I told you?" He asked.
"Not really." Karane said before glaring at Aphrodite. "But after what she just did, I'd believe it now."
"Well now you girls know. And now that you know, what do you say? Would you be willing to share pretty boy over here?" Aphrodite asked.
Before Ranma could say anything...
"Yes! I would!" Hakari blurted out. Ranma and Karane both looked at her in shock.
"Wait...you would?" He asked.
"Are you serious!?" Karane asked. Hakari nodded.
"Yes. Ranma darling," She said taking his hand in hers. "I love you with all my heart. And being with you means I have to share you and help you save some innocent girls from suffering a horrible fate, then consider me your first partner in this endeavor." She said, her eyes filled with determination.
Ranma was shocked. He was expecting to be called a perverted creep and knocked into a wall. But this woman was ACTUALLY agreeing to this crazy mess?
"And you, my little tsundere?" Aphrodite asked. Karane was scarred but...but...
"Oh...OH FINE! But just cause I agree to it, doesn't mean I have to like sharing my boyfriend with some other chicas, ok?" She said. Ranma was so shocked he didn't know what to say.
But Aphrodite did!
"OK! Now that that's out of the way...IT'S TIME FOR THE FIRST KISS!"
"NANI!?" All three of the teens shouted out in shock.
"Oh come, come. You've all had a heart felt talk and got together. Now it's time to seal the deal with your first kiss. And don't worry, all three of you are kissing virgins so It'll be a shared first for all of you." The love goddess said with a big smile.
"WHAT!? BUT! But I'm not ready for something like that!" Ranma said.
"Too bad." Aphrodite said and snapped her fingers.
And with that, all three of the teens found themselves yanked towards each other and collided in a three way kiss. All three of them blushed madly at what just happened. Aphrodite on the other hand...she sighed and smiled.
"Ok. My work here is done for the day. Have fun you three love birds! Byyyyeeeeeee!" And with that, Aphrodite vanished, leaving behind three stunned lovers.
(Theme Song: The Chaos of Ranma Saotome. By EpicAnimeSongs on YouTube)
One spash I'm a girl one splash and I'm a guy
This curse I'm stuck with man It's do or die
Martial arts and rival are life so strange
In this crazy world nothing will stay the same
Fists fly high I can take it all, but the curse makes me trip and fall
RANMA RANMA changing every day
Fighting my way through the chaos come what may
With love and battles and Rivals too
One spash of water and I'm brand new
[Music]
Running through rooftop dodging the rain
From Akane's glare to Kuno's disdain
With every fight, I'll win the prize
Even if life is full of surprise
I'll break through the madness through and through
Cuz I'm Ranma Saotome and I'll make it true
RANMA RANMA Na, Na, Na, Na, Na, NAA. Ranma, Naaa
RANMA RANMA changing every day
Fighting my way through the chaos come what may
With love and battles and rivals too
One splash of water and I'm brand new
[Music]
No matter the curse no matter the strife
I'll fight for my honor I'll fight for my life
Through love through rivals through each crazy turn
I'll prove to the world it's my time to burn
RANMA RANMA changing every day
Fighting my way through the chaos come what may
With love and battles and Rivals too
One splash of water and I'm brand new
And I'm brand new
And I'm brand new
No matter the curse no matter the Strife
I'll fight for my honor I'll fight for my life
Through love through Rivals through each crazy turn
I'll prove to the world it's my time to Burn...
RANMA RANMA changing every day
Fighting my way through the chaos come what may
With love and battles and Rivals too
One splash of water and I'm brand new
And I'm brand new..