A/N: More angst. It's not really gonna let up anytime soon.

Spring break had brought some of her old friends back into town, from what she had seen on social media, but JJ had not had the heart to tell them everything that had happened. Not even when Lani had showed up unexpectedly and wanted to go out clubbing. So rather than recount her months of heartache and the ever increasing list of mental health concerns she had, she'd made herself up and left the house with her friend.

But now it was late. She'd lost Lani some time ago. Disappeared into a crowd of denim mini skirts and wavy hair. Not having the heart to follow her, JJ had stayed at the bar, slowly drinking her way through the cocktail menu. Maybe it was three Daiquiris later, maybe it was two mojitos… but eventually he had approached her. Sat down beside her and struck up a conversation.

He was tall. Not as tall as Will, but she guessed that when you stood proudly under five feet, everyone was tall. He had a shaggy mop of dirty blonde hair, and sun kissed skin that made him look as though he spent most of his days on the beach.

Somehow, she had ended up here. Perched on the edge of the counter in the bathroom, her legs wrapped around his waist as they kissed furiously. She knew the alcohol was giving her more courage than she would ever have, but right now she didn't really care.

"You're really hot," the guy muttered. JJ's chest gave a painful ache.

He didn't sound like Will. He didn't feel like him either. His lips were somewhat chapped, his hands strong but rough against her skin. The hard muscle she was accustomed to was nonexistent here. She pulled away from the kiss, tipping her head as he began to kiss down the side of her neck. His hands roamed beneath her top, one of them roughly palming her breast as she let out an involuntary groan.

Suddenly one of his hands was between her legs, rubbing her against the seam of her jeans. And like a freight train, the memory came rushing back.

"You're so hot," groaned the wavering face above her. Letting out a little giggle, she pulled him closer, gasping as he slipped two fingers inside of her.

"Feels good," she managed to choke out.

Then, with a splintering of wood, the door burst open.

Gasping, she pulled away from him, her heart pounding in her chest as the tears threatened to come full force. "Stop, stop," she stammered, burying her face in her hands.

He wasn't Will. But right here, what she was doing… that would hurt Will. It was basically LA all over again.

'But you're not together. It's time to move on'

"What's your problem? Are you underage or something? A virgin?" the guy spat.

"No, I-"

"What's wrong with you?"

"Please just stop," JJ said tearfully, looking up at him. He rolled his eyes, turning to the door and wrenching it open.

"Whatever," he muttered as he walked through it and disappeared back out into the club.

JJ took a moment, forcing herself not to cry as she slid off the counter and turned to look at her reflection in the mirror. Her hair was nowhere near as neat as it had been hours earlier, and her lipstick was smeared at the corner of her mouth. Tearing off a piece of paper towel from the dispenser, she dampened it under the tap, before using it to clean herself up.

Even though nothing had changed in the face looking back at her, she hardly recognized the person she had become.

"JJ, you've gotta… come on, you need to stand up, we're almost there," Mackenzie groaned as she tried to hoist JJ further up to get her up the porch steps. Despite JJ's tiny stature, she was hardly able to hold herself up, and for Mackenzie, who wasn't much bigger, the dead weight was almost too much to handle.

The porch light came on as Mackenzie worked to drag JJ up the steps, followed moments later by the front door swinging open to reveal an exhausted looking Sandy clad in a dressing gown.

"Oh my god," Sandy said, her eyes widening as she stepped out and lifted JJ's other arm over her shoulders. "What happened to Lani? How much has JJ had to drink?"

"I know nothing about Lani, and honestly, way too much, I'll be surprised if she doesn't need a trip to the hospital," Mackenzie said flatly, helping Sandy to guide JJ over the threshold. "I found her outside The Cave, she looked like she had been kicked out but hadn't been able to make it any further"

"Jesus, JJ, what were you thinking? Don't you remember what happened the last time you got drunk?"

JJ drunkenly lifted her head, her mascara smeared all down her cheeks. She opened her mouth to reply, only to go limp again as she vomited all over the hallway rug. Mackenzie and Sandy recoiled slightly, somehow managing to keep a tight grip on the young blonde so she didn't topple over.

"I can't believe that didn't happen in the Uber," Mackenzie said softly.

"Well, better here than an Uber," Sandy sighed. "Come on JJ, let's get you into the bathroom, because I don't think you're going far from the toilet tonight"

"I don't feel good," JJ slurred.

"Keep it down for two seconds Jayje, we're almost there," Sandy said hastily, reaching out to throw the downstairs bathroom door open, but she was half a second too slow, as yet again, JJ retched, vomit splattering down the door and all over her shoes. Sandy grimaced, throwing the door open anyway and stepping over the mess. She pulled JJ in behind her, guiding her down to sit against the wall beside the toilet. Behind her, Mackenzie was running the tap, before bringing over a wipe and carefully wiping JJ's mouth and chin.

"I'm sorry," JJ said tearfully, tipping her head towards her friend. "I'm such a fuck-up"

"No you're not," Mackenzie said gently, brushing JJ's hair out of her eyes. "You're someone who's going through a hard time. You've had a lot to drink, so you feel like shit, and you're gonna feel ten times worse tomorrow, but after that, you're gonna be ok"

"Thank you for bringing her home," Sandy said softly. "I really appreciate it"

Mackenzie stood up, discarding the wipe in the trash and smiling at Sandy. "It's ok. I wanted to make sure she was safe"

"Well, I'm very grateful," Sandy replied, before turning to look at her daughter. "I'm walking Mackenzie out, and then I'm cleaning up the hallway. If you're going to vomit, please get it in the toilet"

As she turned and left the bathroom, she found Jason coming down the stairs, his hair sticking up at odd angles as he rubbed his eyes.

"What's going on?" he asked with a yawn.

"JJ's drunk," Sandy said weakly. "Really drunk"

His eyes finally adjusting in the darkness, Jason's eyes landed on the puddle of vomit on the rug. "Oh… yikes." He looked up at Sandy. "Where's JJ?"

"She's in the bathroom… she's in such a state," Sandy replied, casting a weary hand towards the door behind her. "I need to… I need to get this cleaned up, it's fine, Jason, you go back to bed"

Jason shook his head. "I'll clean it up. You just worry about JJ"

When Sandy finally came back into the bathroom after seeing Mackenzie out and getting Jason set up with cleaning supplies, JJ was slumped over the toilet, her cheek resting against the seat as she tried to pull herself together.

Taking a deep breath, Sandy took a seat against the wall adjacent to where JJ was sitting.

"What got into you tonight? You never drink like this," she said softly, knowing anger and bristled tones would only serve to make JJ feel worse in this state.

"I wanted to feel less lonely," JJ said thickly, her voice giving away how close she was to tears. "And this guy, he was buying me drinks and I thought he was cute enough so we went off together and we were making out and all I could think was that he wasn't Will, and I don't have Will because I fucked up. I just wanted to feel something, I wanted to feel normal, and I thought maybe if I just had sex with someone, it would help, but I couldn't even get that far"

"JJ, that's not healthy," Sandy said sadly. "You're dealing with so much pain. So much pain that it's a miracle you haven't completely caved under it… but you know you can't drink or screw these feelings away. You tried to do that in Los Angeles, and that's what got you here today. You're lucky you didn't end up having sex with that guy… what if he wasn't clean? What if you got a disease? What if you decided to stop and he didn't listen? There are so many things that could have happened to you" As she stopped speaking, she realised there were tears tracking down her cheeks.

"I'm just sad, Mom," JJ sobbed. "I'm sad all the time and I want it to stop. Will was my everything. And now he's gone. He was my first real kiss, my first boyfriend, the only person I've ever slept with. I was fucking engaged to him and I threw that all away"

"JJ, you are not solely responsible for what happened. Yes you made some mistakes, but you and Will were both equally responsible for the blowout that happened afterwards"

JJ turned her head, retching into the toilet between sobs as Sandy crawled forward and gathered her hair back from her face.

"I just… I still love him so much," JJ cried as she eventually lifted her head again. "I just wanted to go out tonight and feel something other than all of this crap. And now I just feel worse"

"Unfortunately, that's how alcohol usually works," Sandy said softly, wiping JJ's mouth with some toilet paper as she shuffled up beside her disheveled daughter. "Let's not focus on everything tonight, ok? You're upset, you're drunk, and you're probably not going to remember any of this come morning. So let's get you cleaned up and into bed, and we can talk about this when you're feeling more yourself. Ok? And I'm going to call your therapist tomorrow and see if they can fit you in over the next couple of days, because you clearly have some things that you need to be talking about, and I'm not properly equipped to help you deal with them"

"I'm really sorry, Mom," JJ said tearfully as Sandy got to her feet.

"I know, JJ. I know"