A/N: Writer's block is kicking my ass. In other news, I have to do my first Russian visa this week (I'm a travel agent) and Russian visas are legit one of the WORST visas to try and apply for. Wish me luck!
"I want to go to Worlds"
It was the statement that had for some reason, settled in JJ's chest the previous evening after Will had left her house. She was barely through the door of the gym the next morning when it had come blurting out, making Nick go from stunned surprise to knowing laughter in a matter of seconds.
"You're never going to retire are you?" he laughed. JJ managed a sheepish grin, shrugging her shoulders as she followed him out onto the floor with her gym bag.
"I don't know, I... I don't want Rio to be my last competition. As amazing as my results were, I feel like all anyone is going to remember is that I spent half of it crying. And I don't want that to be my last memory of gymnastics. I want people to remember me for how much I loved gymnastics and how happy I was to do it"
Nick smiled, his face softening. "I know kiddo... and people will definitely remember those things. But if you're going to go to Worlds, we need to talk strategy, because you've lost a lot of training time this year with everything that's been happening"
JJ nodded, dropping to the floor and opening her gym bag to grab a roll of tape. Without needing to be asked, Nick stepped up, kneeling down in front of her and taking the tape from her hands. It was the first time she had ever needed tape for anything other than bars; over the last few weeks, she had started noticing some nagging calf and ankle pain in her right leg during her days in the gym. Her physio was confident it was just weary muscles suddenly being put to work after an extended break from an elite schedule, but just to be safe, Nick had started helping her tape it at the beginning of each of their sessions.
"Do you think I can make the Worlds team?" JJ asked in a small voice as Nick started robotically strapping her ankle.
Nick chuckled. "Honestly, I think the only thing that's going to hold you back is, well, you. Most of the top contenders are either retiring, in NCAA, or on a break. If you stick around and stay consistent, I don't see any reason why Valeri wouldn't take you to Worlds"
JJ nodded. She had almost forgotten that with Marta no longer around, the reigns had been passed over to a new national team coordinator. Valeri Liukin, father and coach to 2008 Olympic all-around champion Nastia Liukin, was the new NTC for the US national team. JJ hadn't spent a great deal of time with him aside from Worlds in 2010, when he was coaching Rebecca Bross, but from the little she did know of him, she had liked him. He was a calm and quiet man, and without any knowledge of national team camps so far, she knew he would create a different environment to the one Marta had cultivated over so many years.
"Timing wise, I think it's going to be best for you if we skip the Classic this year. If we let Valeri know that you're competing, you're already prequalified to Nationals anyway. I just think that extra two weeks to be competition ready will be beneficial for you, because you're going to be working hard to get back into shape," Nick said. "We also want to protect this ankle and avoid you needing to have surgery or extended time off. The less comp landings you have to do this season, the better it's going to be"
"Do you think I'll have trouble getting my skills back?"
Nick let out a long breath. "Quite honestly, JJ, you might. You've lost a lot of weight and muscle these last couple of months. Your body might remember how to do the skills, but you might find you don't have enough strength yet for them. I actually think it would be a good idea for you to have a couple of sessions with a PT every week, just to help you rebuild your strength levels. But we don't need you going all out this year. If you can do a Moors by Worlds, and do it safely, great! If you can't, it's not the end of the world, the field this year isn't going to be as strong as it was the last couple of years anyway"
Lifting his head as he secured the last bit of tape, he patted her shin in a reassuring gesture. "I'm just glad to see you looking like you're in a better place"
"Well... Will and I talked yesterday, and... we're going to try and work things out," JJ said in a small voice, a smile creeping onto her face. "I think things are going to be a lot better from here on out"
"Good. You deserve to be happy"
As she walked into the little cafe where she and Will had had their first outing as a couple, JJ hated how nervous she was. This was Will. They knew each other perhaps better than anyone else. And yet, just a couple of months of turmoil had left her feeling like no more than a stranger to him.
She was barely over the threshold when she spotted him, already sitting in a booth with his hands clasped in front of him. She could tell by the way his jaw was repeatedly clenching and unclenching that he was just as nervous as she felt.
"Hey," she said softly as she approached, making him look up as she slowly slid into the seat opposite him. "I'm glad you called"
Will took a deep breath, managing a hesitant smile as he tried to force his body to relax. "I thought we should probably talk before... before I go back to New Orleans. And that that talk shouldn't be when I'm severely hungover and regrettin' every decision I've ever made"
JJ cracked a smile, sitting back as a waitress approached their table, two mugs on the tray in her hand.
"I've got a latte, double shot, and a caramel frappucino?"
"Thanks," Will said, gently pushing the frappucino towards JJ before reaching for the latte. "I know you like somethin' sweet before trainin', so I got you a caramel frap"
Touched by the small gesture that reminded her just how well they knew each other, JJ watched him closely as he lifted his mug to his lips and took a sip. "Thank you"
Will shrugged, setting his cup back down as he let out a sigh and ran a hand through his hair. "JJ, I... I gotta be honest, I don't know where we go from here"
JJ felt an uncomfortable weight settle in her stomach. Surely he wasn't going to back out... this was exactly what she had been afraid of happening once he had completely sobered up. "What do you mean?"
"Well... we had that talk. We said what we needed to say, and... I just don't know what the next step is supposed to be," Will admitted. "I... I meant everythin' that I said, JJ, I can't just make myself not feel the way I've always felt about you, but I also can't just make myself forget how much pain and anger I've been feelin' since everything that happened in January"
JJ nodded sadly, her hand winding around her cup as she looked down at the table. "You're not coming back from New Orleans, are you?"
Will took a deep breath. "I... I don't know. I really don't. I have to go back and tie some things up regardless, but... I'm not sure if I'm ready or in the right space to be back here full time. But that doesn't mean I don't want to try and work on us, because I do, it's just... complicated, I guess"
"I get it," JJ breathed. "When do you go back?"
"This afternoon," Will replied. "I'm heading to the airport just after lunch"
Nodding as she played with the sugar packet sitting next to her drink, JJ only felt defeat. They were in the same booth, but for the amount of distance between them, they may as well have been on different continents. And sure enough, Will was heading back down to the South, with no clear intentions of returning. It had felt so promising, that morning in her room, but now, she knew it had been way too good to be true.
Yet, just a few hours later, she was racing down the long hallway, announcements coming over a loudspeaker as she pushed past people, her eyes constantly scanning everything around her in search of what she was looking for.
And then she spotted it. A bright D86 sign jutting out from a support pillar. There were people already queuing up as far as she could see, but her heart gave a hopeful leap when she spotted his back towards the end of the queue.
"Will," she called out, her heart thumping in her chest as he turned away from the boarding queue at the sound of her voice. His eyes widened, as if he wasn't quite sure what he was seeing.
"JJ? What are you doin' here?" he said in disbelief.
"I'm sorry for just showing up, but... I could see it in your face when you left the cafe. You're... you're scared to make the move back up here, because right now, New Orleans is your safety net and Pittsburgh is where I could potentially bring everything crashing down again. I know I screwed up, I really did, but... I can't imagine my life without you in it. You make me laugh, you support me, you make me feel like I'm the only girl in the world, and you make even the most mundane moments enjoyable whenever you're around. These last few months have been nothing short of hell not having you by my side, and I know we have a lot to work through, but I'm prepared to do whatever it takes to prove to you that what I did in January doesn't actually represent how I feel and that I'm serious about working out whatever the fuck went wrong between us. I don't want to push you Will, but... if you want me to, I'll come with you to New Orleans. Right now. I have to work around training, so I can't stay indefinitely, but I've got a ticket for this flight, if that's what it will take to prove to you that I'm not going to screw this up again, I'll come with you"
There was a short, stunned silence between the two. Passengers milled around them, completely ignoring the way they were frozen there on the concourse, unsure what to make of each other.
And then Will lifted his hand, holding it out to her with a tired smile on his face.
"I'd love it if you came with me. Even for a few days. I know your trainin' is important, I don't want you to miss anymore than you already have"
Relief flooded through JJ's body with such a great intensity that for a moment, she thought she might break down sobbing on the floor. But instead, she shouldered her backpack a little higher on her back, before putting her other hand in Will's and allowing his warm hand to wrap around hers. It was the smallest of gestures, but to her, it was familiarity, it was sanctity.
Together, they joined the final throngs of the boarding queue and ambled their way towards the gate. Emotions were flooding through JJ with unrelenting force, one after the other, compounding and cascading at the small breakthrough. She allowed herself to get a little teary eyed as they scanned their boarding passes at the gate, their hands still locked together as they made their way onto the jetway and down towards the plane. The awkwardness of the meeting at the cafe that morning seemed to be a thing of the past, and while a lot of things had to be fixed, right now, she felt like they were on the right path towards healing.