Wow, I've actually managed to update both my active stories twice this month (even if I'm squeezing this one in with half an hour left in the last day of April, but hey, it still counts). Enjoy, because like the total eclipse that occurred earlier this month, it's probably a once in a lifetime event.
After a fruitless hunt that lasted several hours and spanned multiple levels of the castle, Lancelot was finally forced to go to Gaius and confess what he'd done. Gaius consulted his compendium on magical creatures, and determined that Lancelot had unleashed a goblin.
"That doesn't sound good," said Gwen, who had come to the physician's workshop along with Arthur for the briefing on Camelot's latest magical crisis. They had intended to invite Kenzi to join them as well, but none of them had been able to find her.
"At least you said it wasn't very big, right, Lancelot?" Arthur asked.
"About two feet tall, I'd say."
"Surely something so small can't cause too much trouble," the prince said hopefully, but Gaius raised a cautionary finger.
"Don't underestimate it based on its size, sire. Goblins are the most mischievous creatures in existence, and they are utterly relentless in their pursuit of the thing they value above all else."
"What's that?" Gwen asked apprehensively.
"Gold. They'll do anything to get their hands on it, and woe betide anyone who gets in their way."
"No wonder he didn't want me to take him out of the city, then. There's not much gold to be found in the country," Lancelot remarked.
"But there's plenty of it in the palace, though I don't know if that'll make it easier to find the goblin or harder," Arthur said thoughtfully. "On the one hand, all that gold should ensure it doesn't run away before we can find and capture it, but on the other hand, it's all spread out throughout the castle. If we could gather it all in one room…but I can't very well ask every noble in the place to turn over all their valuables for safekeeping."
"That's a good idea, but I don't believe it will be necessary," Gaius consoled him. "Goblins aren't the sort to keep a low profile, so I expect it will make its presence known sooner rather than later. We simply have to keep our eyes and ears open for anything out of the ordinary."
###
The next morning, Gwen went to Kenzi's chamber according to her usual routine, and found the girl sitting at her dressing table, admiring her jewelry. "There you are. We missed you last night."
"Really? Because I can't say I missed you."
Disregarding Kenzi's cutting sense of humor, which she was more or less accustomed to by now, Gwen went on, "According to Lancelot, there's a goblin loose in the castle."
"A goblin? You don't believe that, do you? Are you sure he wasn't seeing things? He didn't warn you to watch out for pink elephants too, did he?"
"No, we spoke with Gaius, and he said it's quite real. He told us what to watch for, which you would know if you'd been there. Where were you?"
"I went to the tavern."
"What?" Gwen paused in smoothing Kenzi's sheets and turned to face her current mistress with a look of surprise. "I would've thought you'd have had enough of taverns after what just happened…and anyway, didn't Arthur ban them from serving you?"
"Yeah, none of them would let me in…but they'll be sorry," Kenzi said with a sly little grin, her eyes dancing with mischief.
Gwen frowned, bemused. "Sorry? What do you-?"
"Never you mind; I just had to get some ale from the palace kitchens instead. Anyway, why are you standing around with that addlepated look on your face when you should be serving my breakfast? Shake a leg, wench!"
From the distant corner of her mind that Kenzi's consciousness had been shoved into, where she had spent the night being forced to watch while the goblin pranced around in her body and (in her opinion, at least) generally did a terrible job of being her, she now said, Dude, lighten up. Gwen's my friend – and I hope you didn't do anything too nasty to those barkeeps. Sure, being blacklisted from every watering hole in the city sucks troll balls, but they were just doing their jobs. Also, 'addlepated' and 'shake a leg'?! I don't talk like that! She's going to know something's up, and once your cover's blown she and the rest of my crew are gonna whip up some evil-banishing shit to kick your ass right back to whatever orc-infested hole you crawled out of!
But Gwen just frowned more deeply at her, now looking put out as well as confused. "You know, Kenzi, I had hoped you were starting to come around after that unfortunate incident with those impostors posing as contenders in the melee, but it seems a few drinks are all it takes to undo whatever progress you've made…and I have to say, this behavior is getting tiresome."
She set out the breakfast dishes with uncharacteristically abrupt motions, then turned sharply on her heel and stalked out of the room…taking Kenzi's hopes for a speedy rescue with her.
###
Over the next two days, Arthur heard a great deal about what he strongly suspected were the goblin's activities in the form of various nobles complaining that their gold coins and accessories had been stolen (even the necklace Lancelot had had made for Kenzi went missing, much to his dismay), while Gaius received visits from several local tavern owners who had mysteriously broken out in painful boils; he theorized that their ailments might also be the goblin's work, though he was at a loss for why it would have targeted those particular people. Neither they nor Gwen or Lancelot ever caught so much as a glimpse of the creature, though, leaving them frustrated and bewildered.
Meanwhile, Kenzi remained aloof, more sarcastic than ever, and strangely uninterested in the case, which was equally frustrating and bewildering. At last, Lancelot could bear it no longer and made up his mind to confront her over her distant, indifferent behavior, but when he went to her chambers, he discovered that she already had company. He almost turned around and left, until he realized that the voice floating through her half-open door belonged to none other than Uther – but what could the king want with Kenzi?
Although he did not normally condone eavesdropping, Lancelot's concern that she might be in some sort of trouble – which didn't seem implausible given how she had been acting since Bo left – wouldn't let him walk away. Inching closer until he could hear them clearly, he discerned that she had gotten into a disagreement with some knights the previous evening, and Uther wasn't happy about it.
"All right," she responded in what Lancelot considered an imprudently insolent tone given that she was talking to the king, "maybe I did tell Leon and the rest of them that it was none of their business if I felt like taking a midnight stroll. It's hardly worth getting your royal underpants in a twist."
Uther took several deep breaths before answering her, and when he did, his voice was very stiff, like he was straining to hold his temper in check. "Sir Leon and his fellow knights are the sons of my most loyal nobles, sworn to uphold the honor and security of the kingdom; as such, they have not only the right but the responsibility to question why a young lady like yourself is wandering about at an improper hour, and they deserve your respect. For that matter, so do I. I am the king."
"And you think that means you can do whatever you want with no consequences, don't you?" Kenzi's flippant tone suddenly shifted, becoming softer and more calculating. "I know things about you; you might fool everyone else, but you don't fool me. I know what keeps you awake at night, the guilt that eats at you when you're all alone, without your bootlicking toadies to distract you. The screams never stop, do they?" she finished in a near-whisper, leaning closer to the king, whose face was now very pale.
"Why do you say such things?" he demanded in similarly hushed tones, stumbling back a step as she approached and raising a hand as if to ward her off. "What is it you think you know?"
"Who, me?" Now her attitude underwent another abrupt change, to wide-eyed innocence. "I'm nobody important – just Bo's silly little friend, right? Who pays any attention to my prattle? But you're the king, like you said, so I'll bet you have some kingly business that needs taking care of, don't you? I've heard there's been a rash of thefts in the castle, right under yours and your noble knights' noble noses… Shouldn't you investigate that?"
"Well, I've tasked Arthur with bringing the perpetrator to justice…but yes, I think I will go and check on his progress. Excuse me…"
Lancelot ducked out of sight just as Uther strode out of Kenzi's room, looking rather discombobulated and extremely relieved to be away from her. When he was gone, the former knight walked through the door he'd left wide open and found Kenzi standing there with a self-satisfied smirk that looked wrong on her face. Not that she didn't sometimes look pleased with herself, but she didn't usually find her gratification at others' expense, and right now there was something about the tilt of her lips and the capering glee in her eyes that seemed almost…malicious.
"Are you out of your mind? You can't speak to the king that way!"
Her strange expression melted away at once, annoyance flashing across her features before she quickly covered it with cool indifference. "Clearly I can, since I just did."
"And you're lucky he didn't throw you in the dungeon! Kenzi…what's happened to you? You've been so distant these last two days…not that I blame you for wanting to avoid me, of course. I'm sorry if it seemed that I was pushing you away after Gwaine left; I never meant to hurt you, it's just that… I want you to know that I think of you as one of my dearest friends, and that's made it harder than I expected to tell you that I-"
"Run on at the mouth too much? I can't decide if you're having a ridiculously hard time putting your thoughts to words or you're just way too fond of hearing your own voice."
Lancelot snapped his mouth shut; at first he was hurt, but then, as he met her mocking, coldly contemptuous stare, a different, far more chilling feeling crept over him…a feeling that whoever or whatever was watching him through those eyes wasn't Kenzi at all. Kenzi might be blunt to the point of abrasiveness sometimes, but she wasn't cruel. Even the way this thing talked was wrong, as if it was trying to mimic her esoteric turns of phrase but not quite succeeding.
His first impulse was to seize the impostor and demand to know what it had done with Kenzi, but he fought off the urge. Anything that could either take over Kenzi's body or assume her form obviously had magical powers, which put Lancelot at a distinct disadvantage, and if it realized he had caught on to its ruse, it would probably attack. Therefore, he decided the wisest course of action was to get out of there, consult Gaius, and come back later when he knew more about what he was dealing with and could take the thing by surprise.
"I'm sorry, my lady," he said coolly, hoping he merely sounded offended rather than infuriated at the realization that the object of his affections was being possessed. "I didn't mean to bore you. Forgive me." Then he stalked out, silently cursing himself for not having figured out what was wrong with her sooner and swearing that he would make it right, whatever it took.
"Hmm," the goblin snickered after he left, "your lover boy can't seem to spit it out, can he? Although if you ask me, I'd say you're better off without him – he's nothing but a stick in the mud, and he doesn't even have any gold in that tiny bedroom of his."
If by 'stick in the mud' you mean that he's a nice guy, then yeah, I guess he is, Kenzi retorted. Sure, he's a lot tamer than me, but let's face it, most people are, and maybe having someone around who can mellow out my wild side isn't such a bad thing. I mean, I had fun with Gwaine, but we did get a little out of control feeding off each other's party animal vibes. Not that Lance can't have fun when he wants to, it's just that his idea of fun doesn't involve cursing people with freaking boils – which was a major dick move, by the way. And yeah, maybe he is taking way too long to say he lurves me if that's what he wants to say, but if he does, I'm glad he didn't say it to you, who he currently thinks is me thanks to you using me as your meat puppet! I hate my life so much right now!
"Oh, relax; you didn't mind so much when we took all that tasty gold, did you? Honestly, I was impressed – you're almost as good a thief in your own right as I am. Now, let's see what we can do about that boring old king trying to spoil our fun…"
###
"Let me see if I have this right. You think Kenzi's mind has been taken over…by our missing goblin?" Arthur didn't come right out and say he thought it was a ridiculous theory, but his skepticism was on clear display in his tone of voice and facial expression.
Refusing to be deterred, Lancelot said firmly, "Yes, I do. I've been thinking it over, and it all makes sense – what if the reason we haven't been able to find the goblin is because it's inside her? I know it's small and fast, especially when it's floating around as a ball of light, but you'd think someone would have seen it by now. Even if I'm mistaken and the goblin isn't behind this, there's something very wrong with her. I'm telling you, when I looked into her eyes today, whatever it was that looked back at me was not Kenzi."
Arthur had no answer for that; the idea that a goblin had taken over Kenzi's identity still seemed rather far-fetched, but it was hard to argue with Lancelot's conviction that she wasn't herself. That, at least, was indisputable, and in a way it would actually be a relief if her behavior turned out to be the result of magical influence.
After a long moment of silence, Gaius spoke up. "I don't know if goblins are capable of possession, but my research is still ongoing. In the meantime, I suggest you watch Kenzi closely, at least as closely as you can without letting her know that you suspect her. You were right, Lancelot – if she is possessed, the entity that's taken control of her probably would not react well if it realizes it's been discovered. Promise me you'll be very careful, all of you." His eyes rested on Gwen a second longer than the others as he said this, since she was the one who had the most contact with Kenzi on a regular basis and was most likely to end up alone with her.
They all assured him they would proceed with the utmost caution, but before they could discuss the matter further, a servant entered Gaius' workshop to inform the physician that Uther urgently requested his presence in the royal chambers. Arthur naturally went along, anxious to find out what was wrong with his father, and Gwen and Lancelot followed, though they hung back since they weren't included in the summons.
While they waited outside Uther's chambers, Lancelot took the opportunity to ask, "You believe me, don't you, Gwen?"
"I don't know," she answered hesitantly. "I can see why you'd want to believe Kenzi is possessed, and I can see your point – she may have been apathetic in the first weeks after Bo left, isolated herself and drank too much, but she was never cruel, and she did get better once we had a problem for her to focus on. It does seem unlike her not to care about stopping the goblin, but still… A part of me can't help wondering if we're just trying to find a supernatural cause for her behavior because freeing her from possession would be easier than admitting that she might have personal problems we can't help her with."
Lancelot frowned; Gwen's suggestion felt dishearteningly plausible, yet he was still certain of what he'd seen when he looked into Kenzi's eyes and of the feelings it had stirred in him, the inexplicable yet undeniable certainty that he was dealing with something both alien and malevolent. Before he could attempt to describe that feeling more fully to Gwen in hopes of convincing her, Arthur came out of his father's chambers with an inscrutable look on his face, and of course Gwen immediately went to him.
"What's the matter? Is the king all right?" she asked with genuine concern. She wouldn't be particularly upset if something had befallen Uther, but she knew Arthur would be.
"It's nothing life-threatening, if that's what you mean. My father…" The prince paused, his face working strangely, almost as if he was fighting the urge to laugh, but eventually composed himself enough to say, "My father has gone bald."
Gwen said nothing for a moment, just blinked at him like she was wondering if she'd misheard, before cautiously repeating, "…Bald?"
"Yes. Of course, he's convinced sorcery is involved," Arthur continued, all traces of humor instantly vanishing as he spoke.
"And in this case, I fear he's right," Gaius added, emerging from the doorway a few steps behind Arthur. "People afflicted with baldness don't normally lose every hair on their head at once."
"He's furious, and he's demanded that I bring the culprit to justice and determine whether they also have something to do with the recent spate of thefts, even if I have to turn the castle upside down to find them. I told him I would intensify my search as soon as I can gather enough knights to help; it seems several of them have been stricken with stomach ailments."
"It's true," Gaius chimed in. "I've been dispensing remedies for nausea and diarrhea all day."
Gwen expressed her sympathy for the knights' plight, but while Lancelot also felt sorry for them, his mind was more occupied with the revelation that had just dawned on him. "But this just proves that I'm right, don't you see? I overheard the king speaking with Kenzi earlier – apparently some knights saw her out after hours last night and confronted her, and now they've been taken ill. Then Uther scolded her for arguing with them, and now he's suddenly gone bald. And those tavern owners who came in to be treated for boils – they're still under orders not to let her in their establishments, aren't they? Maybe the goblin fancied a drink and was angry at not getting it."
His compatriots exchanged doubtful looks, before Gwen said tentatively, "Well, she did mention going to the tavern the night before the first cases of boils were reported…and she said the proprietors would be sorry for refusing to serve her. I'll admit, in light of what happened to them, it does seem suspicious…"
"You're right, it does," Arthur agreed, his features falling into a troubled frown. "Very well, I'll search her chambers first thing tomorrow."
###
The following morning, Arthur, flanked by Leon and two other knights who still looked a bit pale and shaky but were back on their feet thanks to Gaius' treatments, knocked on Kenzi's door and demanded entry. Predictably, she wasn't happy, but when he explained that he was acting on the king's orders, there wasn't much she could do. Arthur breathed a silent sigh of relief when she stepped aside to let them in; if she really was possessed, evidently the goblin or whatever they were dealing with wasn't brazen enough to take on four armed men at once, plus Gwen, who was doing her morning chores.
"Spread out," he instructed his backup. "I want every inch of these chambers searched from top to bottom."
He wasn't sure whether he was hoping to find anything suspicious or not, but his preferences became irrelevant the instant Leon, who was checking under the bed, straightened up and announced, "Sire, I think I've found something."
Camelot's first knight was holding a small chest, and when they opened it up, they saw that it contained a number of the items that had been reported stolen.
"That isn't mine!" Kenzi cried with what appeared to be genuine outrage. "Somebody must have planted it!"
"I'm sorry, my lady, but we can't ignore such glaring proof of wrongdoing," Leon said stiffly. Perhaps his feathers were still ruffled from their recent argument (she had been quite rude to him, after all), yet he obviously didn't like the idea of accusing a lady of a serious crime, regardless of the evidence or his current feelings toward her. "We have to take this to the king."
"I'm afraid he's right," Arthur sighed. "This is out of my hands." He just hoped he and Gaius could convince his father that Kenzi wasn't at fault for what she'd done, and that Uther wouldn't decide killing her was an acceptable sacrifice in order to get rid of the magical menace.
###
Arthur's hopes for leniency sank when they arrived in the throne room to find Uther wearing a leather cap in lieu of his crown; evidently Gaius had not managed to restore his hair yet, which meant he wasn't likely to be in a merciful mood. The fact that Kenzi didn't seem inclined to plead for mercy, but continued to vehemently deny any involvement in the thefts even after Leon presented the evidence against her probably wouldn't help her case either.
"Honestly, if I had taken those things, do you really think I'd be stupid enough to keep them under my own bed?"
I told you that was a rookie mistake, Kenzi said smugly, with a mental smirk at the goblin's feeble efforts to talk his way out of the mess he'd landed them in. You might've said I was only 'almost' as good a thief as you, but at least I never got collared! …Then again, it probably helped that I always fenced my hauls ASAP instead of hanging on to them like a hoarder so I could freaking lick the coins. What the hell's up with that anyway, and can I just say how much I did not love the metallic aftertaste it left in my mouth?
I wouldn't be so quick to gloat if I were you, the goblin snapped back at her. Seeing as right now, for all intents and purposes, I am you, you're going to suffer whatever punishment Uther metes out too!
Damn, that's a good point. You better think fast, goblin, and come up with something better than 'it wasn't me even though it clearly was' to get us out of this!
"Now really," Uther said heatedly, his face growing red under his cap at her persistent refusal to take responsibility for her misdeeds, "I understand that you've been rather…distraught lately, and I am not unsympathetic, but stealing from the castle's other residents is unacceptable. That you insist on lying about it after Prince Arthur and the knights discovered the pilfered items in your chambers-"
"I'm not the only one that has access to that room," she interrupted. "Maybe you should be interrogating that good-for-nothing maid I've been stuck with since Morgana ran off."
"Me?" Gwen blurted out, her expression a mixture of astonishment and righteous indignation.
"It makes more sense that she did it than me," Kenzi pressed on, ignoring her. "After all, I've got plenty of shiny baubles of my own, so why would I need to take other people's? But her… Well, you know how those damn peasants are – can't take your eyes off them for a minute."
"That may be a slight exaggeration, but I do see your point," Uther conceded. "Guards, seize her!"
"Sire," Arthur interjected desperately as a pair of guards grabbed Gwen, "I can assure you that Guinevere would never steal from anyone. She-"
"Yes, yes, we all know about your soft spot for the common folk," Kenzi cut in. "Always going out of your way for them, aren't you?"
Uther scowled at the reminder of how Arthur had spoken out in defense of that troublemaker Gwaine, and that incident a few years ago when he had risked his life to obtain a cure for his bumbling servant after the boy got himself poisoned, in defiance of Uther's direct orders. Clearly this was just another instance of Arthur's inexplicable sympathy for his inferiors clouding his judgment, so Uther dismissed his son's protests without a second thought.
"A day in the stocks ought to show you the error of your ways," he said severely to Gwen, "and if I find so much as a speck of proof that you had anything to do with…certain other unfortunate occurrences which have plagued this castle of late, I'll have your head. Take her away."
The guards marched her out of the throne room while Arthur, Gaius, and Lancelot watched helplessly, and Kenzi silently raged at the goblin. Hey douchebag, when I said you'd better think of something quick, I didn't mean you should use my friend as a fall guy…girl…whatever! You know, you may think you're funny with all the pranks and witty little disses – and okay, maybe Uther's new Lex Luthor look is kind of hilarious – but underneath all that, you're a real dick, you know that?
The sight of her homeboys just standing around, seemingly oblivious to her predicament, only added to her frustration. Come on, guys – what do I gotta do, figure out how to write 'help me' on my stomach from the inside? Get your thumbs out of your butts already, and get this asshole out of my head!
###
Arthur and Lancelot visited Gwen that afternoon, and found that she was holding up as well as could be expected for someone who was stuck in an uncomfortable position and covered in bits of rotten produce.
"Now I see why Merlin hated this punishment so much."
"I'm sorry, Guinevere," Arthur sighed as he picked potato peelings out of her hair. "My father shouldn't have done this to you…but of course, any time a noble points their finger at a servant, that's all he needs to hear."
"It's not your fault, Arthur. You can't help what he does." Turning her head as best she could to look at Lancelot, Gwen added, "And I'm sorry I wasn't sure whether to believe you earlier. You were right; Kenzi would never do this. At least now we know it's definitely the goblin that's possessed her, since Gaius said it wants gold and all the things Leon found under her bed were made of gold."
"That's true; it's always helpful to be sure of what we're dealing with," Arthur agreed. "And Guinevere's right about the rest of it as well – we should have listened to you, Lancelot."
Lancelot graciously forgave them for doubting him, but even though he was relieved to know that they believed him now, he couldn't take much pleasure in his vindication. As Arthur said, it was good to be certain of what they were facing, but there was still one all-important question that remained unanswered: now that they were positive Kenzi was indeed possessed by the goblin, what were they going to do about it?
Yes, that's the million gold coin question, isn't it? But don't worry, it'll be answered in the next chapter.