Well, here we are with the conclusion of the Goblin's Gold arc; time to see how Team Muggle fares against their first real magical threat (I'm not counting the tavern thugs since they only used magic to disguise themselves rather than as an actual weapon).

When Gwen was finally released from the stocks in the evening, she, along with Arthur and Lancelot, went straight to Gaius to see if he'd made any progress in figuring out how to free Kenzi from the goblin (and get some liniment for Gwen's sore neck). The elderly physician provided a strong-smelling salve which he assured her should alleviate her aches in no time; then, as Arthur busied himself with rubbing it in, Gaius laid out what he'd learned.

"According to my research, goblins can only be contained by lead-"

"The box I freed it from was lined with lead," Lancelot interjected. "It told me it had been locked in there for many years, and obviously it wasn't able to cause any trouble until I let it out."

"Great, so we just need to get it back in the box," Arthur said.

"No, first we need to get it out of Kenzi," Gwen pointed out, wincing as Arthur's fingers hit a particularly tender muscle. "She won't fit into a box that small."

"Right. Well, if goblins are vulnerable to lead, what if we melt some down and trick her into drinking it somehow?"

"That would probably expel the goblin from her body," Gaius said thoughtfully. "However, some of my recent studies have led me to believe there's a chance that exposure to large quantities of lead may be harmful to humans. I haven't confirmed those findings yet, but it's probably better to err on the side of caution. As much as we want to rid Kenzi of the goblin, we don't want to risk poisoning her in the process."

"No, we don't," Lancelot firmly agreed.

"What are we supposed to do, then?" Arthur demanded. "Of course I don't want to hurt Kenzi, but how else can we force the goblin to leave her? I doubt it'll come out if we just ask nicely!"

"There may be another way," Gaius said after pondering their dilemma for a minute. "Kenzi might still have to endure a bit of discomfort, and there could be some danger involved for all of us, but I think it will all come out right if you do exactly as I say…"

###

After Gaius outlined his plan, and Arthur finished massaging her neck, Gwen waited a while before going to the kitchens to collect Kenzi's dinner tray, then plastered on a smile as she delivered it.

"There you are," the thing masquerading as Kenzi said by way of greeting, barely looking up as she entered the room. "Took your sweet time, didn't you? Ugh, you stink – what've you been doing, mud wrestling with a skunk?"

"Apologies, my lady, but I found myself in need of a remedy for an ache in my neck. I don't know why Gaius couldn't make it smell better."

"Excuses, excuses," the Kenzi-thing muttered before finally turning to face her. "I hope there are no hard feelings over that whole business with the stocks; I hated to do it, but you know how it is."

Yes, I know exactly how it is – nobles can do whatever they like, and it's the common folk who suffer the consequences of their whims. Gwen intensified her efforts to hold her smile in place, though by now it looked more like the grimace of someone with a bad toothache. "Of course, my lady. I understand perfectly."

"Good. I'd hate for there to be any more unpleasantness between us," the goblin said in a tone that held a barely veiled threat.

"Oh, I don't think there'll be any need for that."

The goblin stared hard at her for a moment, trying to gauge her sincerity, then gave a satisfied nod and sat down at the table where Gwen had arranged the dinner dishes. Gwen picked up the empty rectangular tray by one end and took her customary place behind her mistress' chair; then, still smiling placidly, she brought the tray's other end down on Kenzi's head with all her might.

Kenzi froze, her features falling into a comically blank, stunned expression before she tipped forward, landing face down in her soup bowl.

"I'm sorry, Kenzi!" Gwen cried out, finally letting her docile façade fall away as she rushed to pull the unconscious girl upright and wipe her face clean. "Oh, I hope I didn't hurt you too badly…"

"She'll recover," Arthur assured her as he and Lancelot, who had been waiting outside the door, burst in, both carrying lengths of chain which they used to bind Kenzi to her chair. "You only did what was necessary to subdue the goblin. That was quite a blow you dealt her, though." The look he gave her as he finished wrapping his chain around Kenzi's ankles and straightened up was one of deep admiration…with maybe a tiny hint of fear as well.

"Yes, well, this thing took over our friend's body, cast several painful curses on those who've crossed it, and put me in the stocks for an entire day – I suppose I was a bit perturbed," Gwen confessed in a slightly flustered tone.

"Careful, sire. You don't want to get on this one's bad side," Lancelot advised with a grin at the prince, who definitely looked worried now.

While the two men restrained Kenzi, Gwen stepped outside to fetch the box they'd brought with them, the goblin's original prison which Lancelot had retrieved from the secret room in the library, and signaled for Gaius to come in. The physician had brought a vial of very pungent potion which, once he was certain Kenzi was bound so tightly that she couldn't move a muscle, he held under her nose. She twitched a couple of times, her nose wrinkled, and then her eyes shot open as she coughed and sputtered.

"Ah, good, you're awake."

"Ugh, what is that?!" She tried to jerk away from the source of the offending smell, only to realize she was chained up. Her eyes narrowed dangerously, and when she spoke again, her voice held a menacing note that wasn't like Kenzi at all. "What's going on, guys?"

"What's going on is that we know what you are, and we're here to save Kenzi. Release her, goblin," Lancelot ordered with a dangerous glint in his dark eyes.

Undaunted, the goblin glowered right back at him. "You think you and the rest of these pathetic humans are a match for me? If you thought boils and baldness were bad, just wait till you see what I'm going to do to all of you!"

The creature's eyes flashed gold as it prepared to unleash its worst curses yet on the foolish mortals who had dared to interfere with its plans…but nothing happened. "What…?"

"I don't think so. You see, I paid a visit to the blacksmith before coming here – those chains are coated in lead, which Gaius told us nullifies your powers," Arthur explained with obvious satisfaction.

"Lead coated chains? This isn't fair – after all those years in that accursed box, I was finally having fun! You can't do this to me!" The goblin thrashed madly against its bonds and tried every spell and curse it could think of, but nothing worked; the chains held fast, and their lead coating rendered its magic completely useless.

"That isn't going to work," Gwen said sternly, with a disapproving frown at the goblin's tantrum. "Face it, you aren't getting out of this."

The goblin went still as her words sank in, head bowed so that Kenzi's long hair fell forward and obscured her face, then slowly looked up, revealing a cunning, maliciously calculating expression. "Maybe this body can't get out of these chains, but I can get out of it. You didn't really think you could hold me forever, did you?"

With that parting taunt, a golden ball of light popped out of Kenzi's left ear. She went limp as it left her, and Lancelot sprang forward with the lead-lined box, which he used to scoop up the bobbing light before slamming its open end to the floor. The goblin resumed its corporeal form inside the box and put up a vicious struggle, but Arthur hurried over to help, and together they were able to prevent it from escaping as they fastened the lid in place.

"Thank goodness that's done," Gaius said with a relieved sigh once the lid was securely strapped on. "Good work, all of you."

Arthur graciously accepted his congratulations, Gwen expressed her own relief that the ordeal was over, and Lancelot scrambled over to the chair where Kenzi was just beginning to stir as she reasserted control over her body, which felt somewhat like slipping her hand into a stiff leather glove that needed to be limbered up.

Lancelot gently tilted her head up with one hand, the other brushing her disheveled hair out of her face (and stroking her cheek a bit more than was strictly necessary in the process). "Kenzi, can you hear me? Are you all right?"

"Lance?" she asked weakly, eyelashes fluttering as she blinked up at him.

"Yes, I'm here. You're safe now." He leaned closer, perhaps intending to comfort her with a tender embrace or maybe even kiss her right then and there, the other three people in the room forgotten, only to stop short when she spoke again, her voice gaining strength as she went on.

"Can I get untied now? Now that I'm back in control of my body, I'd like to actually be able to move it. Also, my mouth still tastes like gold, which is a lot less pleasant than you'd think. I used to think I'd like to try one of those chocolate bars with gold flakes in them, but this damn goblin totally ruined that for me. Asshole!" This invective was directed at the box, which was still shaking as the goblin protested its renewed captivity.

Once Lancelot freed her from her chains, she let him help her up like the old-fashioned gentleman he was, then spun around and gave the box a good kick – making sure to use the ball of her foot, because the goblin so wasn't worth a stubbed toe. As she did so, she heard Gwen asking Gaius what they should do with the goblin now that they'd captured it. Before the physician could answer, Kenzi said fiercely, "I vote we toss him down a well like Samara in The Ring and make sure it's sealed up tighter than an airlock."

"I understand why you'd want that," Arthur said in a surprising display of sensitivity, "but before we settle on a permanent solution, I think the creature can be of some use to us."

###

"So you see, sire, once Gaius figured out what we were dealing with and we deduced that the goblin had evaded detection by possessing Lady Kenzi, we were able to free her from its hold with Guinevere's and Lancelot's help and trap it in this box," Arthur explained, gesturing to the container he had placed in front of the throne, which shook ominously as he nudged it with his boot, loud growls emanating from within.

Several of the courtiers gasped and shrank back fearfully, but Uther leaned forward for a better look, even as he eyed the rocking box with a trace of apprehension. "And you're certain the creature is safely imprisoned in that thing?"

"Completely certain, your majesty," Gaius assured him. "The box is lined with lead, which renders the goblin powerless. Furthermore, now that I know what manner of creature cast the curses that are behind the recent rash of ailments I've been treating, I'm confident that I can concoct a cure. All of the goblin's victims should be set to rights in a day or two."

"That is welcome news indeed," Uther said happily. He was tired of wearing leather caps whenever he had to appear in public; they were uncomfortably hot and made his head itch, in addition to looking ridiculous. "I'm sure the afflicted will count themselves forever in your debt. As for the creature, we must ensure that it never escapes to wreak havoc in Camelot again. Take it to the vault where all the other dangerous items are secured."

"Yes, sire, I'll see to it at once." Arthur gestured for Lancelot to grab a handle at one end of the box while he took the other, and they carried it out between them. Neither of them could bring themselves to feel too bad about what they were doing; while being sealed up in a prison too small to offer any freedom of movement was a cruel fate for any sentient being, the goblin had undeniably brought this punishment on himself. After all, Lancelot had offered to get him safely out of the city and set him free, but he had chosen to stay where he knew he wasn't wanted and had proven himself far too devious and malevolent to be allowed to roam about unchecked.

After they left, Uther dismissed his court, but as the various nobles, knights, guards, and attendants who had assembled to watch the day's business being carried out made their way to the exits, he called out, "Lady Kenzi, a word, if you please."

She froze, then slowly turned around as the guards shut the doors behind the last departing stragglers, closing her in with the king. "What's up? I hope you're not peeved about anything I allegedly did in the last few days-" Her eyes darted to his leather cap before she could stop them, and it was only with the greatest effort that she managed to keep a straight face "-'cause we're clear on how that was all the goblin, right? I'm a victim here too, you know."

"Indeed; you have my sympathy for your ordeal. I did want to ask, though… Do you recall anything that transpired while you were possessed?"

"Bits and pieces. I remember being a dick to my friends and framing Gwen for the goblin's wacky klepto antics, which she absolutely didn't do, by the way."

"Yes, Arthur was quite adamant about your maid's innocence," Uther said impatiently, "but I wonder…if you remember our conversation?"

So that's what this is about – you just want to get a read on whether I really know the dirty little secret behind your rabid anti-magic-ism or if the goblin was just messing with your head in more ways than one, Kenzi thought, once again stifling a giggle at the follicular challenges Uther was currently dealing with. Part of her was tempted to keep messing with him, to hold what she may or may not know over his (bald as an egg) head, but she was savvy enough to realize that she would be playing with fire.

Uther was a powerful, occasionally ruthless man who did not take challenges to his authority lightly, so she was pretty sure he would go ballistic at anything that even remotely resembled a blackmail threat, and when he got mad, heads rolled – literally. Kenzi happened to like her head right where it was, and it wasn't like she really needed to blackmail Uther for anything – she actually had a pretty sweet deal here in Camelot, as a matter of fact – so she arranged her face into a look of confusion and said, "Uh, maybe? I have this vague mental image of you in my room, but it's all kind of a blur. Why, did we talk about something important?"

Uther studied her face intently for a moment, during which she poured every ounce of her concentration into maintaining her politely bemused expression, before sitting back in his throne, seemingly satisfied. "No, nothing of any importance was said. You're free to go."

"Thanks – I've got a ton of stolen shit I need to get back to its rightful owners, so I better get a move on. As sticky as that damn goblin's fingers were, I'll probably be playing Santa Claus all day."

###

Assisted by Gwen, Kenzi did indeed spend the rest of her day handing things out from a sack, along with her profuse apologies for the goblin's thievery. To make this already un-fun task even worse, at some point she did the math on how long she'd been possessed and realized it was her birthday – a fact Gwen seemed to have completely forgotten. Ordinarily, Kenzi wouldn't hesitate to drop a few pointed reminders into their conversation, but in this case she decided Gwen's memory blip was understandable; it wasn't like the other girl hadn't had other stuff on her mind, what with being set up and subsequently subjected to an undeserved punishment the Geneva Convention probably would have classified as cruel and unusual. Or, since it was Kenzi herself who'd offered her up as a scapegoat (at least in the sense that the false accusation had come out of her mouth), maybe Gwen simply didn't feel like partying with her – also understandable, even if it was a total bummer.

Nevertheless, as they neared the end of their rounds, she found herself saying, not for the first time, "Hey, Gwen, uh, I did tell you I'm sorry for the whole frame job, didn't I? Not that it did you much good, but I want you to know I reamed the goblin good for that."

"Yes, I know it wasn't you, so you don't have to keep apologizing," Gwen assured her with a hint of bemusement. "I'm sorry too, for not realizing sooner that you weren't yourself. I should have seen it…then again, considering it wasn't so long ago that I was completely oblivious to the fact that my best friend had magic…"

"Hey, we all slip up sometimes; besides, Morgana purposefully kept you in the dark to give you plausible deniability, so don't be so hard on yourself. But you and me are okay, right? I mean, I'm good if you are."

"I am."

"Then do you wanna hang out for a while?" Kenzi asked hopefully. "We don't have to do anything special." If Gwen happened to remember what day it was, Kenzi didn't want her to feel obligated to pull together a last-minute celebration, but she would like some company.

"Well, I have to fetch your dinner first. Why don't you go up to your chambers and wait there?" Gwen suggested with a small smile.

"Oh, okay."

Kenzi trudged glumly up the stairs, thinking, Worst birthday ever! …Okay, maybe not – the year my stepdad wouldn't let me invite any friends over or have a cake and sent me up to my room before I even got anything to eat while he and Mom yelled at each other was objectively worse. This year's still gotta be in the bottom five, though.

###

By the time she reached her chambers, she wanted nothing more than to flop down on her bed and wait for this whole sucky day to end – only to freeze in shock when, upon turning around after closing the door behind herself, she found her table already set with candles and a mouthwatering meal, complete with a small honey cake oozing with thick golden liquid. The only thing missing was Gwen standing behind her chair, ready to serve her; instead, the person waiting on her was…

"Lance?" she squeaked. "What're you-?"

"Happy birthday, Kenzi." Pulling out a chair, he gestured invitingly at the enticing spread. "Would you like something to eat?"

"Only if you grab a seat too. As delish as this looks, I can't just leave you hanging while I pig out."

"Thank you, but I've already eaten with Gaius."

"Well, you have to at least have some cake," Kenzi insisted as she dug into the main course. "Birthday cake's no good unless you share it."

"Is that so?"

She nodded solemnly. "Them's the rules."

"In that case, I would be honored to share your cake."

"Awesome sauce." Eager to get to the sweet stuff, she wolfed down the nutritious part of her dinner, though she still found time in between bites to tell him how she'd spent her day distributing the goblin's loot.

"That can't have been an enjoyable way to spend your birthday," Lancelot said sympathetically, "but I'm glad you did it."

"Yeah, it totally went against the grain giving stuff back to the rich snobs who were dumb enough to let it get swiped in the first place," Kenzi agreed as she cut two large pieces of cake. "Still, I had to do it to make sure Gwen's in the clear and everybody understands I'm one hundred percent dispossessed and goblin-free now."

She paused to savor her first bite of honey cake, closing her eyes and moaning in delight at its rich, moist texture, before reaching down for the almost empty sack at her feet and taking out the one item she'd been unable to return, an exquisite little gold filigree heart on a thin, delicate chain. "This was the only thing I couldn't give back, since everybody I asked said it wasn't theirs, and nobody listed it as one of their missing goodies. It's weird – something this pretty, you'd think whoever lost it would be itching to get it back." As she spoke, she noticed that Lancelot had frozen at the sight of the necklace, his gaze riveted on it in a way that prompted her to ask, "You don't know where it came from, do you?"

Clearing his throat awkwardly, he said, "Well, yes, as a matter of fact, I do."

"So are you gonna tell me, or would you rather play twenty questions?"

"I commissioned the necklace," Lancelot confessed, not quite meeting her eyes. "It was meant to be your birthday gift, though obviously I hadn't planned on the goblin taking it before I could give it to you. I thought it was lost."

"You got this for me?" Kenzi took another look at the tiny gold heart, and the flesh and blood heart in her chest started beating double time, because it very much did not look like the kind of trinket someone would give to a purely platonic friend. It was much too pretty, too intricate, and it was in the shape of a heart, for crying out loud! Oh boy…is this it? Is this really happening?

"I understand if you can't accept it, but please hear me out," he said with a determined air, now staring her squarely in the face. "Kenzi, when I returned to Camelot with Merlin, Dyson, and Bo, I was lost. I had given up on my dream of becoming a knight, I had sunk to depths I never imagined I was capable of as Hengist's entertainer; the only thing that kept me from falling completely into that darkness was my memory of Gwen, of her goodness and how she had believed in me-"

"Yeah, yeah, I know all about your epic undying love for Gwen," Kenzi mumbled. Now she was the one who couldn't make eye contact, but Lancelot plowed on, seemingly resolved to get everything off his chest now that he'd started.

"When she chose Arthur over me, I thought I had nothing left…until I grew closer to you."

Kenzi's head popped back up, her eyes locking on his with a look of startled hope. "Me?"

"You were the one who asked me to stay, and you refused to let me wallow in my heartbreak, you… You're like the sun, Kenzi; you shine so brightly that you burned away all the shadows and gave me a reason to smile again, to hope again. As much as you try to hide your courage, kindness, and loyalty behind the veil of wit and cynicism that you wear so well, you have one of the most noble hearts I've ever known, and if you'll let me, I will happily spend the rest of my days striving to prove myself worthy of your love."

By the time he finished, Kenzi's throat felt weirdly tight, and her eyes were prickling. Never in her wildest dreams had she ever pictured herself inspiring such an eloquent speech from a guy as unambiguously good and honorable as Lancelot, though this was probably because the guys she'd hung around for most of her life didn't exactly fit the 'knight in shining armor' mold. More like the 'wannabe hustler' mold, and the only thing shining about them was their tacky bling and the grills in their teeth.

Swallowing the lump in her throat, she began, "Well, Lance, I think you're pretty great too – I mean noble and… Ah, screw it." Realizing she was never going to match the flowery language of someone who actually grew up in the medieval era, she opted for a more direct style of communication; standing up and crossing the short distance between their chairs in one quick motion, she took his face in both hands and pressed her lips against his in a hard, demanding kiss.

Lancelot went rigid with shock, his eyes opening wide, hands hanging limply at his sides. Then it slowly sank into his stunned brain that the girl he loved was kissing him – rather passionately, at that – and he should probably respond in kind before she took offense. Reaching up to gently grasp her shoulders, he kissed her back.

Satisfied with his reaction, Kenzi let the kiss go on for a few more seconds before breaking away and giving him a smug little grin. "That's more like it; for a minute there I was afraid I broke you."

"You took me by surprise," Lancelot admitted ruefully, "though I suppose I should've expected it."

"Yeah, I'm not your typical fairytale damsel who waits around in some stupid glass coffin for a guy to come along on his white horse and lay one on her, and any guy who wants to date me better be down with that – although, for the record, I don't mind if you want to take the lead sometimes. Now, will you put that necklace on me?"

She turned around and lifted her hair, and Lancelot, hardly daring to believe that everything had worked out so perfectly, carefully fastened the gold chain around her neck. Then, deciding to take her up on her implied challenge, he spun her around and kissed her again, though he set a much slower and more tender pace, taking time to savor the sweet taste of honey on her tongue and the feeling of her slender, petite frame in his arms, the reality of which was better than any daydream he'd ever indulged in during his more optimistic imaginings of how this moment might play out.

Kenzi went along willingly, secretly glad that he had initiated their second kiss, because as much as she didn't mind cutting to the chase and going after what she wanted, she had to admit that in this case she had hesitated to take the plunge until she saw more overt reciprocation from him so that she knew he really had moved on from Gwen, that he wasn't just on the rebound or falling into a relationship with her because she was pursuing him too aggressively and he was too nice to shut her down. Now, as their lips moved together in a sensual caress that left no doubt as to his feelings for her, she realized she would have to revise her previous assessment – despite its rocky beginning, this had turned out not to be one of her worst birthdays after all.

Well, our heroes finally managed to get Kenzi back – thankfully without feeding her a lead milkshake. Otherwise, the reunion with Bo would've gone something like this: "So, the good news is that we saved Kenzi from being possessed by a goblin. Bad news…we sort of killed her with lead poisoning to do it." Somehow, I doubt that would've gone down too well.

Also, if there's a lesson to be learned from this chapter, it's that you shouldn't perturb Gwen unless you want a dinner tray upside the head. Arthur better make sure he never forgets an anniversary…