A Holiday by Decree
Dear readers, apologies, I realized that I previously missed posting Chapter 93, "Lunch on the Ranch" – it is now added. Sorry if the transition between chapters was choppy before!
:::
~~Day 11~~
Tyrion had carefully turned his eyes to the open field and blue sky ahead when he asked the question, but looking back at her, he found Sansa carefully observing him. Sensitive, astute woman that she was, she waited for him to speak.
A bird called from somewhere around the water beside their tree. As Tyrion licked his lips to start, he hated how heavy his heart could get. "Sansa, I should apologize, I wanted to go somewhere new and different with you today, but I got into a mood the last few hours, and for that I'm sorry."
Sansa lowered her head, biting her lip. "I noticed around the fruit picking, that was selfish of me -"
However, Tyrion stopped her. "No, please don't apologize, that's exactly what I don't want," his lip quivered slightly though he quickly recovered. He tried to brighten slightly. "In fact, I had a wonderful time experiencing that for the first time with you, and it was even better, as unlike with apple trees, it seems they don't prune the damned branches so high…" he observed not a little bitterly, and Sansa let him go on.
"Anyway, as you surely guessed - I noticed how sweet and sensitive the things you said to me earlier were - even if I was not too short to join in the fun, I was not allowed to go to the apple orchards with Jamie when we were young. In fact, those were the hardest years, as that was when I realized I had lost him. Our father decided he was too glad to keep me locked away with books while Jamie trained in the yards all day, and before long, my brother was packed away with Cersei to King's Landing, and our youth was over.
"Sansa, the memory of all that at immediately running into something I realized I might hold you back from enjoying, and when we were not even three hours from the idyllic world we've enjoyed in the manor these past days - it scared me. Even worse than that, I realized what scares me most where you're concerned totally lies within me," Tyrion finally said.
Sansa was urgent and earnest to reply, as soon as he let her: "Tyrion, I've given it thought, and I know I can better learn the things that you can do and what to avoid - I really do want you to be open with me like this so I can understand."
Tyrion shook his head. Sansa was being so kind, but this was still so hard for him to admit. "Jaime said the same once, and if he could learn to respect my physical limits, I'm sure you can too. No, Sansa - what I mean is that despite my many accomplishments, underneath it all, I am not a confident man and together with the other dark parts of my past, I'm afraid I'm very emotional - it all still haunts me, and I don't know if I can bear it haunting you as well."