[Scene: Mamoru's bedroom. Mamoru is delirious with fever and crying because he thinks Usagi loves Motoki instead of him]

Zoi: Is that what this is all about? You throwing yourself at me? The pissing match with Motoki? The relentless bullying of Usagi?

Mamoru: [crying] You don't know what it's like...when the girl you love is in love with your best friend...I don't have a family... my aunt is my only living relative... the only reason she took me in was because there was nobody else...One of these days Motoki is going to realize what a cold-hearted hag Reika is... and I'm going to lose them both FOREVER!

Zoi: Motoki doesn't like Usagi that way. And Usagi certainly isn't in love with Motoki.

Mamoru: Yes she is! Haven't you been paying attention! You know what she said, the first time she asked me out? She said "Listen, stinkbomb, I want to go to the dance. Motoki can't make it, and you're the most annoying person in the world, but at least if I go with you, he'll know it's not a real date so he won't be jealous. So how about it, loser?"

Zoi: [laughing] What was she supposed to say? "Hi. I can get any guy I want, and you've never been anything but a big mean poopy-head towards me, but you're sort of hot and I have really low selfesteem, so that's not necessarily a dealbreaker"?

Mamoru: I...I guess so.

Zoi: So you've been seething in misplaced jealousy this whole time...Good heavens, Mamoru, is this why you kissed her when she was drunk and passed out?

Mamoru: [nods] I didn't think I'd get another chance.

Zoi: [shakes his head sadly] And yet she still puts up with you...Has Usagi had anything to do with Motoki since the two of you started dated?

Mamoru: Yes, she has...Way more than I'd like.

Zoi: Mamoru. Usagi likes Motoki because he's nice to her. He gives her peptalks and brings her parfaits. But it's all part of his job. When Motoki flatters people, they leave him bigger tips. I think Usagi is smart enough to realize that. Meanwhile, you've been absolutely horrible and she likes you for no reason at all. If you started being half as nice to her as Motoki is, I guarantee she will forget he even exists.

Mamoru: [brightening] You think so?

Zoi: I know so...You need to swallow your pride and have a talk with her...no...you're probably not going to remember this conversation. I'll send her around to have a talk with you once you're better.

Mamoru: You're not going to tell her you saw me crying, are you?

Zoi: Mamoru. Crying over Usagi is the least objectionable thing you've done all night.

Mamoru: [wipes his tears and hangs his head solemnly] I know. I'm behaving very badly right now... I'll understand you don't want to be friends anymore after this.

Zoi: It's ok. I know you're very, very sick right now. Just don't expect anything more than friendship from me.

Mamoru: And you don't care what *HE* thinks?

[Zoi knows the *HE* in question isn't Motoki]

Zoi: I care very much what *HE* thinks.

Mamoru: Then why are you here?

Zoi: [sits on the edge of the bed] I'm here because you were always there for me...You were there for me when I crashed my bike. You were there for me when the freshman gym teacher wanted to single me out and make an example of me. You were there for me when Demande Blackmoon tried to drag me into his car...You probably saved me from a fate worse than death that day, so for that resason alone, I'm in your debt forever... The least I can do is sit here and watch over you while you're loopy with some silly little fever. Now go to sleep.

Mamoru: Thank you.

Zoi: Don't mention it.

[Zoi gets up to throw away the empty Gatorade bottle]

Mamoru: Zoi. Wait before you go... You've spilled something on your shirt... Right here. [points near the collar of his tee-shirt.]

[Zoi looks down and sees a round red stain. He pokes it with one fingertip and it's hot and sticky. He sniffs and it smells like blood.]

[This is alarming since it is centered right in the spot where Mamoru kissed him. Zoi's fairly certain he himself hasn't been injured. His skin has been burning since Mamoru kissed him, but he assumes that just a psychosomatic response to being kissed by someone who isn't Kunzite.]

[Is Mamoru coughing or vomitting up blood? If so, Zoi intends to get him to the hospital, whether he wants to go or not.]

[Zoi kneels by the bed. He leans closes to Mamoru, gazing at his mouth and nose to see if he can find any signs of bleeding.]

[Mamoru locks eyes with him, and completely misinterprets the gesture.]

[Zoi lets out a shriek as Mamoru grabs hold of him, wraps his arms around him, and kisses him full on the mouth.]