Since updating last I have finished and put up a whole lot of Oneshots. And I also finished the story Buried Deep Within, which was the oldest and longest of the stories that are getting finished right now.

As I'm writing this, I put up a oneshot for Manifest last night, that was, like this story is written for seizure awareness.

I'm sorry for not updating in so long. Obviously I know where this will be going with the awareness and everything. But I'm just having some trouble of coming up with what'll happen before and after and around. Although here I am. Trying to write something for a chapter and I finally think I know what way to go.

Two days after Cam had left I sat by my computer, for the first time trying to call her up to video-chat. It seemed to take her forever to answer. Maybe when she did it would help me not feel so lonely as I had every moment home since she left.

"Hi Tracy."

"Hello over there."

"Well, hello over there."

It was quite the light night here, it was needed since we were in completely different time zones and Cam needed some of her daytime to work. From where she sat I could see a window and the sun was shining brightly.

"How's work going?" Was the only thing I could think of asking. "Did they give you a nice welcome? How's the Americans?"

"It's been going well. Everyone here are nice, I haven't met all people I should yet but I will in the next couple of days. I have to say none of them have been near as exciting as meeting you and the dumping ground for the first time. Maybe if it had been a bit more alike that day then I would have liked it even better."

"Is there something wrong with it?"

"No. It's just going to take some time getting used to… Then, in a month I will be back there with you, with an American accent and everything." I forced a laugh but it was like it just made me sad. I knew Cam would notice, I needed something to change the subject before she would do the same.

"Can I see your hotel room?"

Even though I had rarely gotten the chance to stay at hotels for most of my life, they always fascinated me in some way. And as I watched when Cam turned her laptop around and carried it around so I could see the room I was looking closely.

"And…" she turned the computer back on herself for a few seconds before I saw her moving and held it towards the window. "The view!"

"Exactly how many floors up are you?"

"Sixty seven. And, as we both know there are buildings, only down the block twice this height." Cam went to sit back down and her computer was turned back so I could see a background that could have been any room in any part of the world- even if she was only down the street. "But still, there is one very simple but big thing I'd want more than anything, that just isn't here no matter how great the rest is… Can you guess what it would be?"

"Do you wish I was there?"

"Of course I do… This is great and beautiful in all kinds of way, you know…." She sighed. "But it can't be home… Now. Let's just change the subject before I start crying or anything. We need something funny. Can I see the flat? Is there a whole, big mess already?"

I looked around to see everything spotless and tidy. And knew very well how it would only worry Cam to see what it was like now.

"No, of course not. You should know how it looks like already."

"Eurgh!" Cam moaned and smirked some. I tried to think of something to say but couldn't and she seemed to notice. "How is the dumping ground right now? Is the place really standing from day to day?" I forced a laugh.

"I haven't had any phone calls since I left earlier so, I'm assuming so… I don't know for how much longer though. You never know what the girls could get up to together. And with that new girl, Elektra in the mess it's not made any better… That's even after what happened in the forest… she's not so new anymore. It feels like she's just fit into the place forever…" I suddenly remembered something. "Lily's social worker called today…."

"Oh… are she and Steve doing okay?"

"Yes." I answered, a bit too quickly. "At least I think so. I couldn't see a reason of why not. But, you know. They went through a lot together and now could use a break every now and again. And of course Lily is welcome back here any time. When you're…." I was interrupted when I heard something in the background at Cam's. She showed me to be quiet and turned her head and concentration to someone I couldn't see.

"Well, Tracy." She said at last. "We'll have to end this now, something turned up. But, hear from you soon."

"Yeah…" I tried once again my hardest to make my voice sound high- pitched and happy. "Bye."

Before I could show Cam I was upset I turned the camera off. Making it hard because all of a sudden my fingers were shaking towards the buttons.

That was the first time it happened!

"What's going on?"

I whispered to myself, knowing very well how I had been upset about Cam going. With how much it had been at the dumping ground lately it would have just been nice if I could keep coming home and not worry about cleaning or cooking or tidying.

Not that there was much worry. I was just worrying about worrying a whole lot more than what was needed. And all of a sudden, with the worry, and now too the shaking of my fingers it was like something had all of a sudden pressed towards my chest until I could barely breathe at all.

Maybe I should have sat down, or really- anything else but just stand by the kitchen counter, with a hand on my chest and now worrying about what was going on. What should I do? Was I having a heart attack? An asthma attack?

I didn't have asthma and my heart was at perfectly good health.

But this must be what felt like. With something pressing over my chest, gripping my windpipe- I couldn't breathe and how long was it going to last?

Then, just as I was looking around for where my phone was and wondering if I should call 999 the feeling let go and I could breathe again. My heart slowed down and the feeling of how my stomach twisted let go.

And it was like that feeling had never been there at all…

Random fact

When I was younger, about 13- 16 I used to have a lot of panic attacks. Then I quit Ritalin (ADHD medicines.) and realized some of it was one of the side effect from those. Now I haven't had one for ten years (used to have every day)

Before I knew about panic attacks I thought like Tracy here that it might be an asthma attack- I don't have asthma.